A/N: I wrote this in somewhat of a possessed state, but I don't care because hey we (technically) got more Doll-mère out of it.

3124 words; I always feel bad for people who want women-only ships in One Piece when we have an average of, like, five to eight living women in any given arc (it's the shounen manga curse but at least we HAVE women unlike other series); contains references to the G-8 anime filler arc, which is honestly the only filler where I wasn't ready to murder something, but if you've not seen it yourself don't worry just treat this like it just has very weirdly specific OCs

good taste

Vice Admiral Doll knew that her reputation preceded her: she was no pushover, to be delicate about it. She had gone from being a scraggly wisp of a seaman recruit to a force of nature within a shorter span than the Navy usually saw. Then again, she knew that owning a pair of tits meant that she needed to be better than everyone in order to be seen as an equal. As someone worth their position. That she was not as soft and emotional as her traitor of a former superior officer, despite the fact he had been a man. Some of the other women—older and already in charge of other soldiers with their officers' commissions and designated as high-ranking themselves—would extend an offer to join them instead, to become a cog in the machine they were building and… well… although the sentiment was in the right spot, Doll knew that it would only hold her back from truly soaring on her own.

That's what a career in the Navy was: achieving the best she could while fighting villains, whether they be on pirate ships with swords and weapons or behind desks with dour attitudes and an axe to grind. She put them down time and time again, and yet they persisted no matter how much support she had. It was almost as though something cosmic was mocking her, though it honestly wouldn't've been the first time.

Heading down towards the holding cells of G-8 base, Doll lit a cigarette as she tried to gather her thoughts before the interrogation. She was left in charge as the usual sucker-in-chief Jonathan was out on paternal leave. He was one of the good ones, so she took the assignment without a hint of grumbling, and she wanted to make sure that she gave the place back in as good of a condition as she had been handed it in. The fortress was nominally one of the Navy's best in Paradise—let alone in the entire Grand Line—as a circular garrison able to withstand siege from some of the most powerful forces known to civilization. Generally-speaking, it was a simple job to be in charge; some even considered it an insult to their skills to be assigned there. Jonathan only got it in order to be (mostly) out of Marineford's way, which was fine by him. It was a quiet assignment… a simple assignment… an easy assignment…

So then why was she about to interrogate an intruder to the most impregnable non-prison fortress that the Navy had within its purview?!

Eventually, she got to the cell and stopped, the guards on either side saluting her before marching off. Inside was a young woman with orange-ginger hair and a smirk on her face. Her hands were secured behind her back as she was bound to a chair, clearly showing signs of having struggled before capture. Doll opened the cell and sat down across the table from her in another chair that had been acquired for her—the staff knows the meaning of the word accommodating.

"Cat Burglar Nami," she hummed, opening the file folder she had brought with her. "Nineteen, East Blue native, navigator for the defunct Straw Hat Pirate crew, has been MIA since your crew's run-in with the military in Sabaody last year. Now: where have you been hiding all this time and why are you choosing now to reveal yourself?"

"Let's just say there's a certain something that I think I left last time I was here and I wanted to reclaim it."

"This is your record directly from Headquarters and it makes no mention of you or any member of your crew having been in our care here." She crosses her legs out of boredom. "I can tell where liars tread."

"The liar of my crew is not me," Nami playfully threw back. "Where's Fortress Guy? Was hoping to see how he was doing. Navy give him the chop?"

"His wife had twins, if you must know," Doll shrugged. It was no consequence to her—it wasn't like the pirate was getting out of here any time soon. "I owe him a couple favors, so I'm watching over the madhouse, so to speak."

"That's why the food's shit," the pirate quipped. Doll raised an eyebrow; this definitely gave credence to the idea that she had been here before, for why else would she know that Jessica was the head chef before she decided to pop out a pair of rugrats from between her legs? She stared at the pirate—there was something oddly familiar about her…

"No matter; we've got time," Doll said. She closed the file and snapped her fingers. The soldiers from before marched back down to the cell and flanked the entry as she left and reset the lock. "Vice-Admiral Jonathan doesn't come back for another four months, and his wife in ten. Something tells me you'll be able to taste her cooking again… if you ever had it to begin with."

She turned on her heel and walked away—at least this was something different.

"Why are you here?"

It had been three days since Cat Burglar Nami had been taken into custody and Doll had begun to question her. There wasn't much she was able to get out of her, but what she did was… unique.

"You must have all the recruits asking for Mommy to step on them," the pirate replied. It seemed to be her preferred way to respond to a question: by giving an answer completely unrelated. "Am I right?"

"You are annoying, aren't you?" Doll frowned, unimpressed. Well… she did have a lot of junior officers asking that exact question, but this random pirate didn't need to know that.

"Learned from the best."

"Oh really…? And who might that be?"

"My mom."

"So your mom encouraged you to become a pirate?"

"Nah; just encouraged me to do the right thing."

Ugh, she wasn't getting anywhere with this.

"What brought you here?"

Doll fiddled with the file papers on the table as she waited for Cat Burglar to answer. The pirate considered her options before shrugging.

"Life."

"You enjoy being obtuse, don't you?"

"Only when it benefits me." Doll clicked her pen slowly—there was little that was technically holding her back from going and making this young woman's life a living hell. She wasn't Impel Down material, sure, but she knew a thing or two. It would ruin the kid's pretty looks and, well, she wasn't cruel, per say. "What do you say, Mommy? Do you want to take me back to your room and force it out of me?"

"What would your mother say if she saw you like this?" Doll wondered aloud. Cat Burglar merely scoffed.

"Congratulate me, honestly," she replied. "She did tell me when I was little that I was gonna leave a trail of broken hearts and wet pussies behind me."

"Are you willing to say that's a quote?"

"Possibly? I don't know. She passed away… what… nine years ago…? You could say it's part of what's wrong about me." The tone in which she said that sent a shiver down Doll's body; Cat Burglar was clearly not giving up the idea that she could seduce her. "Who knows…? You might be able to fix me…"

"I doubt that," Doll deadpanned. She put the pen in the file folder and closed it up; now was clearly not the time.

"If you're going to go, at least let me have one arm back," Cat Burglar whined. "It's hard not touching myself after being here with you."

"Mmmhmm." Yeah, giving her a detail of guards only into men (or no one at all) had been a good idea. "Maybe Jonathan can be merciful on that front; get comfortable."

The pout that appeared on Cat Burglar's face was frankly terrifying—cute and flirty, with a quality she last saw on a fellow cadet about to go down on her—and it unnerved Doll to no end. She stormed out of the cell so quickly that she almost forgot to lock up behind her.

Damn it—Jonathan and Jessica owed her.

"Why are you here, kid?"

"My seventeen magic weather grandpas were blown off-course and my craft ran out of fuel."

A dull throb began to pulse at the back of Doll's head. This young woman was going to be the death of her sanity… and considering who she was recruits with, that was saying something.

"Seventeen magic weather grandpas? If you're going to lie, make it a good one."

"Again: I'm not the liar in my crew." Cat Burglar gave Doll a toothy grin and batted her eyelashes at her. "I'm plenty more agreeable, if you know how to play me."

"Hmm. Well, why come here to G-8 in particular? It's well-known for being a place that pirates do not get either in or out of unless they are in the custody of the Navy."

"That's where you're wrong, because not long ago I was here, which is why I remembered that there might be fuel here. Sneak in, sneak out, make it a little more discreet than last time. Unfortunately, Fortress Guy went and boosted security on me. Always knew he was a cut above most, just like Mom."

"Vice-Admiral Jonathan is a well-respected leader with an impeccable record; if there were pirates that snuck in and out on his watch, I'd know about it, because it would be written down."

"It wasn't his fault, so that's probably why," Cat Burglar shrugged. "Some jackass from Headquarters, I think, which would've kept it off the books… not that it narrows it down…"

It wasn't a far stretch for the pirate to figure that the naval headquarters was full of talking assholes, but the casualness with which she spoke was a bit too familiar. "Did your mother tell you that?"

"She did; a spitfire, that one."

…and with that, Cat Burglar smiled a very specific smile that Doll had not seen in years.

No! She couldn't be! Doll thought back over twenty years to a stolen night with one of her fellow recruits, the other woman's grin glinting in the dim lamplight of their tent. That woman had no children and no desire for them, if she remembered correctly, so she shook the thought from her mind. Even if she was wrong and this was her kid… that was a line she wasn't about to cross.

"What's the matter?" Cat Burglar smirked. "See a ghost?"

"Who is your mother again?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"I would, actually, since you bear an uncanny resemblance to someone I used to be… well-acquainted with."

"Then what are you waiting for?" Cat Burglar attempted to shift in her seat to seem more alluring, with the move not entirely working. She brushed it off, however, and refused to let the young pirate get under her skin again. "Who is going to stop you?"

"Protocol, for one," she replied flatly. "I don't know why you keep on like this; is flirting the main way you get yourself out of scrapes?"

"Have you seen my crewmates? Some of us have to possess people skills in order to survive, otherwise it's just some normies in the middle of a group of monsters. I mean that in the best possible way, by the way, because it means that those monsters are on my leash."

"If they're so much at your beck and call, then why did they fall so easy in Sabaody?"

Cat Burglar scowled as she shut down; they were done for the day.

Doll laid on her bed, looking at the dark ceiling above her. It was so late it was bordering on too early and she wasn't able to sleep. Every time she closed her eyes for a measurable amount of time, her mind would bring her back to a different part of her life, to before she was commissioned—let alone an officer—when she would steal moments from her fellow recruits as they figured one another out. Not only had one stood out for how talented her tongue and hands were, but she tasted exquisite as well—the total package. She had been suave as she'd plunge her fingers deep inside while kissing with a languid sense of urgency that was completely unlike the pace she was otherwise keeping. The sex had been casual, sure, but she still was curious about what had happened once the other woman had been transferred back to her home Blue. Did she settle down with someone who supported her career? Had she even settled down? Was there a Marine base somewhere in the East with a tough-as-nails woman with a mohawk ponytail and a cigarette dangling from her lips as its commanding officer? Was she keeping the men in check by reminding them exactly why she was in charge?

Before long, Doll had reached between her legs and was stroking herself while thinking about her old classmate in officers' training, a woman she hadn't thought about for at least fifteen years, and moaned indulgently.

"Mmmm… Bell-mère…"

Suddenly, her eyes snapped open. She had to know. Tossing on her robe, she barely made the decision to put on shoes before storming down to the holding cells. There she found the Cat Burglar, looking as smug as ever despite being tied to the same chair she'd been in since finding herself in the Navy's custody. The guards looked at her in confusion—why was she there, let alone looking like that?

"Leave us," she ordered. The guards shared a shrug with one another before heading towards their usual waiting area. Doll opened up the lock with shaky hands, trying to keep calm as she stormed into the cell and forcefully dragged the chair away from the table so she could get directly in Cat Burglar's face.

"Must be important," the pirate quipped. Doll squinted as she tried to figure out her adversary's angle—this was all part of some mind game and she knew it… all she needed to do was prove it.

"What was your mother's name?!" she hissed, holding the younger woman's face still. "Was she in the Marines?"

"She was… proud of it too."

"…and you slap her in the face by turning pirate?"

"No—I honored her memory by flattening the trashy Fish-men who were controlling our hometown after killing her. Now I'm doing what she taught me and living what's right by me."

"…and her name…?"

"Does it have anything to do with how nice your hand smells?"

Suddenly, there was a large BOOM that shook the entire building that the two were in, almost knocking Doll off her feet. It didn't sound like an explosion, however, and was more like… thunder…?

"That must be my magic grandpas," Cat Burglar said casually. "Sorry, but they've never done anything like this before, so their damage quota is going to be through the roof." Doll let go of the pirate and looked out the small window, seeing that there was indeed an airship on the other side of the base.

"What the fuck is that…?" she marveled.

"Told you: they're magic." Cat Burglar shrugged casually—it wasn't as though she hadn't been warning her. "Don't worry though: I can pay you back the damages… with my body~"

Doll's heart skipped a beat as she turned to look at the pirate in her custody. Her colleague all those years ago, the one she would have followed if she had been allowed and not shipped off to the West, the one who she would have allowed to become more than just a colleague and mutual pressure-release mechanism… that was something she said. In that tone. With that same shit-eating grin.

"…you're Bell-mère's daughter…"

Another clap of thunder rocked the cell and Doll knew she had to rush into action. She was only barely able to lock Cat Burglar back in and replace the key ring on its hook before a third threw her to the floor with its intensity. She scrambled to her feet and went outside, seeing that there was more than one airship floating about.

"Sir—erm—ma'am, we're being attacked!" a grunt panicked as he ran up to her.

"I can see that, solider!" she snapped. Others nearby turned their heads to listen for instructions. "Let's look alive, people! This is not a drill! Move it! Move it! Battle stations!"

Everyone began to scramble, spreading her command and getting to work despite the booms. Doll ran through the base, pulling her troops together. As she ran towards the command center, she thought about Jonathan's instructions, trying to remember what G-8 protocol was.

"Don't worry about it," he had said, giving one final breakdown as his wife gave instructions on their luggage. "Even if there is a breech, the brass want this place to defend itself. We're only supposed to use Haki or other advanced techniques if a Whitebeard-level threat crops up."

Well, that made things easier. She got back to the command center and went out onto the balcony to survey the threat level. Various airships were blasting lighting at different points in within the fortress's circular formation, causing explosions at key structures…

…including the holding cells. Shit.

"Get some men over there!" she ordered, pointing toward the prison wing. "No one leaves this base without my permission!"

"Ma'am, no one's responding to our snail!" someone responded.

"Then run some over!"

"Ma'am! It looks like they're retreating…?!"

Doll looked and saw that the airships were now beginning to lift into the sky. She hissed in irritation—if she were not bound by the base's protocol, she'd've punched holes through every single one of them into the sea.

"What are you waiting for?!" she bellowed. "Shoot them down!"

"We can't!" Doll looked towards a lower balcony and saw some soldiers struggling with a cannon. "They're frozen solid!" She grunted in irritation as she watched one of the ships fly by, with Cat Burglar hanging off a rope ladder.

"Shame we couldn't do our thing longer, but at least I know my mom had good taste!" she smirked, giving Doll a sarcastic salute. The vice admiral seethed as she watched her float higher and higher. "Pass along my congratulations to Fortress Guy! Twins! He'll have his hands full!"

"Are you… erm… going after her, ma'am…?" someone asked. Doll let out a heavy sigh and shook her head.

"Looks like there's another incident to remain off the books," she decided. A clap of thunder boomed in her ears and the base's electric supply went down. "A freak storm; how's that sound?"

"Good as any, ma'am."