Life in Allspark Wells

Part 25; Sideswipe's Smoking Problem

Sweeping her broom across the garage floor, Sideswipe could only groan, "Ugh. I hate how boring this crap is." As she shepherded the dust and other small bits of junk towards the small plastic pan across the open garage, the pale biker continued, "Why can't he just have Wheeljack do this? That idiot is supposed to be on probation or something?" Pausing as she contemplated what she just said, Sideswipe simply shrugged as she answered, "Eh. Guess Ironhide figured toilet duty, smelting duty, KP clean up duty, robot maintenance, and…. Everything else, he decided to show a bit of mercy."

As far as Sideswipe could tell, it was just another day in the gear grinder. She and Apple Bloom had come home from school, she'd done some of her homework, and now the pale biker was dealing with her daily chores. Letting out a worn-out sigh, she grumbled, "At least he pays us an allowance for all this, otherwise I'd try to organize a strike."

At that moment, the door to the rest of the chop shop opened as Ratchet's voice remarked, "I see someone's been busy here." Turning to face the old medic, Sideswipe found him standing in the doorway, dressed in a simple gray suit under a white trench coat. As he walked up to her, Ratchet continued, "At least now there shouldn't be as much dust. Wouldn't want any of us to have a sneezing fit while working on something."

Letting out an amused snort, Sideswipe replied, "Yeah, well, anything to earn my keep around here." Hearing this, Ratchet gently chastised his friend's ward, "We aren't a meritocracy. Ironhide just wants to keep you out of trouble." He then looked around before adding, "Even if we do need every hand on deck every now and then." He then finished with a gentle yet mischievous, "Especially since Wheeljack is preoccupied with his punitive tasks for leaving that pistol lying around. I mean, the fact he would be so stupid to leave it lying around where someone like Wheelie could find it…."

"Ratchet?" Sideswipe asked, interrupting the old medic's tangent. As Ratchet stopped in his tracks, the pale biker asked, "Is there something you wanted?" Catching himself, the older man replied, "Ah, yes. I just wanted to say that Apple Bloom and Chromia are handling dinner tonight, so the sarge says you've done enough for one night."

Hearing this, Sideswipe pumped her fist as she exclaimed, "Yes!" She then began to dart away towards the door as she thought, 'Finally! Time to sneak a little something personal.' As she approached Ratchet, the pale biker politely asked, "You mind moving? I'd like to get a little fresh air."

Nodding, Ratchet replied, "Of course. Provided you put that broom and dustbin away of course." Sighing to herself, Sideswipe groaned, "Fine." With that, the young biker began to make her way to the discarded broom as she thought to herself, 'Just a few more minutes.'

The Scrap Yard

Making her way into the family's large junkyard, Sideswipe began to nervously dart her eyes around to make sure she was alone. 'Please, don't let anyone else be out here.' She thought to herself. 'Last thing I need right now is someone coming down on my ass.' Once she was deep in the scrap yard and certain she was alone, Sideswipe reached into her vest pocket as she felt around, mumbling, "Please be in here." After a few moments, she felt what she was looking for and whispered, "Thank Primus."

Relieved, Sideswipe pulled a package of Tox-En brand cigarettes.

"There we are." Sideswipe said with relief as she opened her box of cigarettes and pulled out one of the small sticks of rolled up tobacco. As she stuck it in her mouth, the pale biker reached into her other vest pocket and pulled out a lighter. Taking a moment to look around one last time to make sure she was alone, Sideswipe flicked the lighter on, lit the tip of her cigarette, and took a deep breath.

Letting out a deep breath as smoke emerged from her mouth, Sideswipe thought to herself, 'Oh yeah. Just what I needed.' She then brought the cigarette back to her mouth as her mind continued, 'Nothing like good smoke after a long day.' Inhaling, the pale girl thought, 'Gotta love Tox-En. Far better flavor compared to SanjiCo's bland crap.'

Bringing her cigarette up to her eye, Sideswipe found herself remembering the first time she smoked; She'd been given her first pack by her then girlfriend, a rather chaotic girl named Slipstream. Letting out a wistful sigh, the pale biker lamented, "Shame she ended up being so crazy. Besides, Marble is cuter anyway." At the thought of her girlfriend, Sideswipe said to herself, "Maybe Marble would like these. Obviously, I won't push it on her, but I could at least…."

At that moment, Sideswipe was distracted by the sound of Apple Bloom's voice calling out, "Hello?! Sideswipe?! You out here?!" The pale biker immediately found herself letting out a nervous cough, spitting her cigarette out of her mouth before stomping on it as she thought, 'Shit! I can't let Apple Bloom or Ironhide find out about this!' She then shoved her lighter and cigarette pack into her vest pocket before kicking the now extinguished cigarette under the nearest scrap pile, hoping her sister wouldn't find it.

Sure enough, Apple Bloom emerged from around the corner, dressed in her red off the shoulder shirt, dark blue and green kilt, and black boots. Approaching her sister, the former farm girl remarked, "There you are. Just wanted to say that dinner is almost ready, so you better come on back." She then asked, "What are you doin' out here anyway?"

Keeping her cool, Sideswipe held her hands in her vest pocket as she replied, "I just needed a little fresh air. Nothing wrong with that, is there?" As she said this, the pale biker thought, 'Please don't notice anything. I don't want her narcing on me."

Thankfully for her, Apple Bloom didn't seem to notice anything strange, only replying, "Not really. Now come on. Don't want Wheeljack to start chowin' down without us, do we?" Letting out an amused chuckle, Sideswipe replied, "I guess not. Lead the way." Apple Bloom then nodded as she and her sister began to make their way back to the chop shop.

The Chop Shop

As the two teens entered through the side door, they were greeted by the sight of Ratchet talking with Brains, the small robot asking, "Farscinatin'. Oi didn't know organics were so fragile. Oi tought Master Wheeljack was just fragile." Letting out an amused snort, the old medic quipped, "That's just because, and this is between you and me, he's an idiot." Deciding to be a bit cheeky, Sideswipe called out, "Oh please. We all know Wheeljack is an idiot."

As Ratchet and Brains turned to them, Sideswipe asked, "What's going on? He do something stupid?" Nodding, Brains replied, "Just cuttin' himself on a saw thart might be a bit too rusty." Ratchet then added, "And I can't remember if I'd given him a tetanus shot lately. Or ever." The old medic began to think as he lamented, "Damn shame my memory isn't what it used to be."

As the two girls giggled to themselves, Apple Bloom turned to her sister and said, "Alright, you better go wash up. Don't want you spillin' dirt and dust everywhere." Sideswipe nodded as she replied, "I guess that's fair."

Before Sideswipe could leave the room, she was stopped when Ratchet ordered, "Hold it right there!" Stopping in her tracks, the pale biker began to think to herself, 'What? What's going on?' Making his way up to her, the old medic began to sniff the air around her, leading Sideswipe to ask, "Uh…. What are you doing?"

Continuing to sniff around the teenaged girl, Ratchet took a deep breath as he answered, "Forgive me. I thought I smelled something." Sniffing the air again, the old medic continued, "I swear, it smells like…." Having the old man smell the air around her creeped Sideswipe out, leading her to remark, "Uh… This is kinda creeping me out." In the back of her mind, the pale biker thought, 'Wait, please tell he doesn't think I smell like cigarettes.'

Before Ratchet could seemingly identify what exactly he was smelling, Ironhide's voice called out, "What's going on in here?" Turning to see her guardian and adopted father enter the room, Sideswipe thought to herself, 'Good timing. I started to get the feeling Ratchet was gonna sus me.' The pale biker walked up to her guardian and explained, "Ratchet was just sniffing me like he's swapped brains with Sparkplug."

As Ironhide turned to his subordinate and friend, Ratchet asked, "Well? That true?" Nodding, the old medic replied, "Thought I smelled something fishy sir." He then stretched his arms as he continued, "Guess I'm just going a bit kooky in my old age." Ironhide couldn't help but let out a gentle chuckle as he remarked, "Guess that's something I'll be looking forward to in about twenty years." Turning to his daughters, the family patriarch greeted, "Alright everyone. Let's eat." Now that she was seemingly in the clear, Sideswipe let out a gentle sigh as she thought to herself, 'Thank Primus I'm in the clear.'

At that moment, Ratchet spoke up with a stern, "Oh Sideswipe? Would you please give me your cigarettes?"

'Oh shit!' Sideswipe immediately thought to herself as she stopped in her tracks. 'Please tell me that he didn't say what I think he said.' Turning to face the old medic, she found Ratchet giving her a stern glare as he extended his hand towards her, clearly annoyed with her. Sideswipe let out a nervous gulp as she tentatively asked, "Uh… What did you say?"

Shaking his head, Ratchet bluntly answered, "Don't play dumb with me young lady! Your breath reeks of tobacco, specifically cigarette smoke. So please, just give me those accursed death sticks." Before the pale biker could think of a way to change the subject, Ironhide asked, "Hold up! Sideswipe? Do you have cigarettes on you?"

Caught off guard and starting to feel like she was being ganged up on, Sideswipe awkwardly asked, "Uh, what are you talking about?" Looking down on his daughter in mild disappointment, Ironhide warned, "Sideswipe? You'd better not be lying to me and Ratchet. So please, tell me. Do you have cigarettes on you?"

For a brief moment, Sideswipe didn't know what to. 'On one hand, If I give up my smokes, I'll be up the creek without a paddle.' The pale biker thought to herself. 'But I'm stuck here in between these guys, and if I've learned one thing about Ironhide over the years, it's that he's persistent.' Realizing that she was in a no-win scenario, Sideswipe let out a defeated sigh, reached into her vest pocket, and pulled out her box of cigarettes before spitefully shoving it into Ironhide's hands.

Taking the pack of cigarettes from his daughter, Ironhide lamented, "Well, this is certainly disappointing. I would've thought you knew what these can do to you." Before Sideswipe could react, Apple Bloom incredulously asked, "What? Sideswipe? You smoke?"

Turning around to her sister, Sideswipe impulsively defended herself with a defensive, "It's no big deal! Just a few puffs to ease some stress!" The pale biker's defense was rebutted by Ratchet, who warned, "That's what every smoker says until they find out they have lung cancer." The old medic shook his head as he lamented, "I can't believe you'd do something so disgusting. Not to mention you're too young to be able to get a hold of these." Ironhide then demanded, "That's another thing! How the hell did you get your hands on these?"

Without even thinking, Sideswipe immediately and impulsively replied, "I got them from none of your damn business!" The moment those words escaped her lips, the pale girl thought to herself, 'Damnit! You just mouthed off to Ironhide you idiot!'

Sure enough, Ironhide folded his arms as he sternly warned, "Hold it right there! I don't like your tone young lady!" Feeling herself give in to her frustration at her predicament, Sideswipe thought, 'Keep your cool Sideswipe. Don't lash out at him!' Sadly, the pale biker was unable to keep herself from pushing herself up on her toes as she tried to look the former sergeant in the eyes in a vain attempt to intimidate him.

Ironhide simply shook his head as he said, "We'll deal with this later. Right now, I think we all could use something to eat." Apple Bloom then spoke up with a nervous, "Exactly! No use gettin' all worked up on an empty stomach." Sideswipe, however, simply grumbled to herself, 'Oh, fuck this.' As she began to stomp away, the former farm girl asked, "Uh, Sideswipe? Where are you goin'?"

Turning around to face her sister, Sideswipe impulsively shouted, "I'm going to my room!" The moment she said this, the pale biker mentally chastised herself as she warned, 'What the hell are you doing? Do you wanna get grounded?' Catching herself, Sideswipe took a deep breath as she bluntly said, "I…. I need some alone time."

Before either Ironhide, Ratchet, or Apple Bloom could say anything, Sideswipe ran off to her room, all while she thought to herself, 'So much for a relaxing evening.'

Sideswipe's Room, Later That Night

Lying on her bed, Sideswipe stared up at the ceiling as she grumbled to herself, "Well, this has turned into quite the eventful day. Busy day at school, chores, and now Ironhide took my cigarettes and I just had to lash out at him." Sighing, the pale biker could only fling her arms into the air as she complained, "Primus, I…. I need a smoke."

At that moment, someone knocked on the pale girl's door. 'Primus.' Sideswipe thought to herself. 'That's gotta be either Ironhide or Ratchet, probably gonna hand my ass to me about that outburst.' When her guest knocked on her guest again, the pale biker nonchalantly called out, 'The door is unlocked.'

The door opened, revealing Ironhide with a tray in his hand. Walking up to his daughter, the former sergeant glumly said, "Brought you dinner. You stormed up here in a huff, and I just wanted to make sure you ate something." Looking at the tray he'd brought up, Sideswipe found a bowl of some sort of soup, a grilled cheese sandwich, apple slices, and a glass of milk. Taking the tray, the young girl simply stated, "Thanks."

As Sideswipe reached for the spoon, Ironhide asked, "So, how did you get those cigarettes?" Hearing this, the pale biker found herself groaning, "Ugh. Why are you so hung up on that? It's not like I'm snorting coke injecting smack or anything!" Shaking his head, Ironhide replied, "I don't care. Smoking is bad for your health, and as long as you're under my roof, your…."

Sadly, Sideswipe was no longer paying attention. 'Of course, this old line.' She thought to herself in frustration. 'I had to put up with more than enough of it from dad.' Within less than an instant, the pale biker groaned, "I know, I know, the whole "My house my rules" routine. I've heard that song and dance before."

"Actually…" Ironhide began, his voice betraying a hint of frustration. "I was going to say that since you're under my roof, your safety is my responsibility, and I don't want you doing something stupid." He then let out a gentle sigh as he asked, "So, if I may ask, why did you have those cigarettes on you anyway?"

For a few moments, Sideswipe didn't know if she should answer her guardian's question. 'I mean, I should tell him, what with him taking me in after dad went coocoo.' She thought to herself. But as she grabbed on to her arm, the pale biker continued, 'Yet…. I don't want to say anything, or else I could…. I dunno….'

Sideswipe was distracted from her train of thought as Ironhide snapped his fingers and asked, "Kid? You alright?" Nodding, the pale biker replied, "I'm fine. I just…." Taking a deep breath, she asked, "Can…. Can this just stay between the two of us? At least for now?" The former sergeant nodded as he reassured her, "No problem. Just you and me."

Now that she was reassured of her confidentiality, Sideswipe took another deep breath as she explained, "Well, after dad had his accident and I had to drop out, I found that trying to help with the bills was very stressful." As she picked up one of the apple slices from her tray, the pale biker continued, "And, well… This was around the time I met my first girlfriend, and she introduced me."

Taking this in, Ironhide remarked, "I believe I've heard you mention her a few times. What was her name, Slip up? Slapper?" Sideswipe couldn't help but giggle as she replied, "Her name was Slipstream. And yeah, she helped get me started." She then continued with a gentle, "And after the first one, I just… Felt like I'd been standing my entire life and sat down for the first time."

Ironhide nodded as he replied, "I suppose I can't blame you. After everything you've had to go through, I can see why you'd need a stress reliever." He then added, "I know what it's like to need a quick fix of for stress relief."

At that moment, the pale biker lit up as she asked, "Wait a minute! Didn't you used to smoke? I remember the time you told Apple Bloom and I that story about you and Wheeljack having that argument about that giant gun, and didn't you say you were smoking a cigar that night?" Nodding, Ironhide replied, "Yeah. That was… a bad habit I picked up back during the war."

Sighing, the former sergeant elaborated, "I smoked my first cigar after Firefly got picked off by a sniper. Sometimes, it was the only way I could relax or even release a sliver of tension." Taking a bite from her grilled cheese sandwich, Sideswipe remarked, "Wow. Sorry about that." Ironhide wrapped his arm around his daughter's shoulder and sat down next to her as he reassured her, "It's ok kid. I quit years ago."

Curious, Sideswipe impulsively asked, "What made you wanna give it up?" Letting out a gentle chuckle, Ironhide answered, "It was when Chromia and I were seriously considering adopting a child. The fact that we would be responsible for someone else, especially a kid, kinda gave me just the push I needed to quit smoking." He then quickly added, "Took a few months, but I eventually got clean."

As she reached for her bowl of soup, Sideswipe asked, "So you haven't had, like, any relapses or something?" Shaking his head, the former sergeant replied, "Not quite. I've been tempted a few times, but so far, I've been able to stay clean."

At that moment, Ironhide rose up from his daughter's bed as he gently warned, "Now then. Given the nature of this little incident, Ratchet and I are gonna be keeping a close eye on you for the next short while. From now on, you won't be able to go anywhere around the garage, chop shop, or anywhere else around here without either of us knowing it."

Caught completely off guard, Sideswipe found herself thinking, 'What? There's no way he'd even….' Shaking her head, the pale biker could only stammer out, "That…. That's not fair!" Ironhide immediately retorted with a stern, "Fair or not, I'm not going to let you poison yourself under my watch. You're lucky he convinced me to not resort to going through your stuff."

Realizing that Ironhide was not going to budge, as well as the fact that pushing against it would only result in digging herself a deeper grave, Sideswipe groaned as she relented, "Fine." A reluctantly satisfied Ironhide nodded as he asked, "And one more thing. I really need to know who you got those cigarettes from." For a moment, Sideswipe hesitated as she thought, 'Well, I either fold now or fold later.'

Sighing in resignation, the pale biker relented and answered, "There's a guy at school named Reefer. I bought them from him just off school property so it technically can't be dealing anything on campus."

The moment she said this, Sideswipe thought to herself, 'I can't it. I ratted someone out.' Groaning to herself, the young biker picked up the tray on her bed and set it down next to it before lying down as she lamented, "Suddenly, I don't have much of an appetite left."

Seeing that his daughter needed a moment to herself, Ironhide bade his daughter, "Make sure to take a shower before you go to sleep, ok? Love you Sideswipe." As much as she was frustrated at her current predicament, Sideswipe replied with a gentle, "I love you too."

Once Ironhide left her room, Sideswipe looked to the tray of now room temperature food as she lamented, "I'm actually pretty hungry, but I feel sick knowing I ratted Reefer out. Once he finds out, my ass will be torn apart piece by piece."

All she could do was lie face up in her bed, lamenting that now she'd made it, she'd have to sleep in it.

The Master Bedroom

As Ironhide made his way to his and Chromia's bed, the blue haired woman asked, "You still worried about Sideswipe?" Tucking himself in under the sheets, the family patriarch replied, "I am. It's like…." Pausing as he struggled to find the right words, Ironhide continued, "…It's like she's turning back into that mischievous troublemaker who used to cause mayhem all over town."

Patting her husband on the back, Chromia softly reminded him, "We shouldn't be too surprised. Remember that time she spilled motor oil all over the garage?" Ironhide couldn't help but laugh as he replied, "Boy, do I ever." He then added, "Still, I just can't believe that she'd both be smoking and try to hide it from us."

Chromia stretched her arms as she explained, "We knew this wasn't gonna be easy when we took her in. I'm just surprised it took her this long for there to be any real behavioral issues." Ironhide then added, "Well there was that time she lashed out at Applejack." The family matriarch couldn't help but laugh and reply, "Ok, that one was justified."

Once they'd both had a good laugh, Ironhide said, "We better get some sleep. See you in the morning." Chromia nodded as she replied, "I love you." The family matriarch then gave her husband a gentle kiss to the lips as he replied, "I love you too."

The married couple then went to sleep, hoping they could get enough rest after a long and somewhat trying day.

Sideswipe's Room, Early the Next Morning

Looking at her reflection in the mirror, Sideswipe couldn't help but smirk as she complimented her reflection, "Girl, you are smoking." She'd changed into her attire for the day; a black sleeveless shirt under a red denim vest, red jean pants, and black biker boots. Shooting two finger guns at her reflection, Sideswipe took a deep breath as she began to pep herself up, "Ok, another day of school, nothing to fret about. Just… be careful around Reefer. Chances are Ironhide called principal Magnus and informed him about everything."

At that moment, someone knocked on her bedroom door. 'Who the bloody hell is that?' Sideswipe thought to herself. Turning to the door, she called out, "Door's unlocked. Come on in."

The door quickly opened, revealing Ratchet, clad in a white lab coat over a dark gray suit. The fact that he had dark circles under his blue eyes signaled to Sideswipe that he not only had just arrived, but also not even had his morning coffee yet. Taking a small gulp, the pale biker asked, "Uh… Everything alright Ratchet?"

Nodding while he gave a small smile, Ratchet answered, "I'm fine young lady. Just wanted to come a bit early to check up on you." He then took a deep breath as he continued, "I can't smell any tobacco, so it seems you've not taken anything since yesterday." Sideswipe could only roll her eyes as she sarcastically replied, "Yeah, because I'm so naughty and love trying to sneak a smoke this early in the morning."

Noticing the young girl's sarcasm, Ratchet let out a gentle chuckle as he replied, "Of course. Speaking of that…" The old medic reached into his pocket and pulled out something he then tossed to the pale biker before finishing, "… You might appreciate this."

Catching the mystery trinket, Sideswipe inspected it as she let out a confused, "Nicotine gum?" Indeed, the item that now rested in her hands was a small pack of nicotine gum in a pink wrapper. Walking up to the young biker, Ratchet explained, "Yup. A little something that should help deal with any potential cravings for a cigarette." Not sure of what to say next, Sideswipe could only reply with a gentle, "Thanks." Ratchet nodded as he gently chided, "Once you're an adult, you can ruin your lungs all you'd like, but 'till then, we just want to keep an eye on you."

Sideswipe couldn't help but think to herself, 'I'm not a kid. I mean, I'm not quite a…. fine, whatever." Letting out a deep breath, the pale girl could only reply with a simple, "I understand. Just…. Promise me you won't try to pad me down like we're at an airport." Ratchet made the familiar motions of a pinkie promise as he reassured her, "cross my heart, to the brass. Stick a round right up my ass." Hearing the old medic briefly swear caught Sideswipe off guard, leading her to begin laughing.

At that moment, Sideswipe's stomach began to rumble, leading her to remark, "Guess we better head down and start getting breakfast ready, right?" Ratchet replied, "Yup. You and I are on KP duty this morning. Follow me." He then departed the young girl's room as he finished, "I'll be waiting for you downstairs. Don't waste any time."

Sideswipe began to make her way for the door when she suddenly found herself overcome with the familiar urge to smoke a cigarette. 'Shit.' She thought to herself. Thankfully, the pale biker remembered the nicotine gum she'd been given, and quickly opened it, pulled a strip out, and began to chew it. Feeling her craving briefly subside, Sideswipe couldn't help but think, 'Guess I better get used to this, huh?' Her rumbling stomach distracted the young girl from her need for nicotine, leading Sideswipe to say, "Guess I better get moving."

With that, Sideswipe departed her room, hoping that whatever she and Ratchet could cook up for breakfast could help keep her mind off her smoky predicament.