Chapter XIX

"Now… where do I start?"

Issei was tempted to say 'the beginning', but if the man took that as a chance to recount his entire life story up to that point then he might as well give up on any chance to sleep… even if getting a first hand recounting of the Journey to the West straight from the source would be worth a lost night. Issei still had to get up in the morning to fight against a different monkey king.

"I guess… you could start with that crazy girl?"

She was the whole reason this was happening in the first place so Issei might as well try to see why.

The Monkey King scratched his chin, as if considering it.

"Well, I suppose that if we're gonna be talking about Luo Hao we need to first talk about Hao Feng."

Who what now?

Issei blinked.

"Is that like… her dad or something?"

Wukong let out a small laugh, shaking his head.

"No, no. Nothing like that. See, the best way to explain why that blockhead of a girl acts the way she does is to tell you about how she came to become a Campione in the first place. And the story starts with a fellow by the name of Hao Feng, a prodigious exorcist who at one point was a candidate for ascension into the ranks of the heavenly generals."

That, well, sounded awesome!

Huddling against the wall, Issei barely managed to contain his excitement. Actual storytime with Son Goku. Man, if his friends knew this was happening they would keel over from jealousy.

"So, what did the guy do?"

"Well, like I said, Hao Feng was a young man of prodigious talent and ambition, but also one who devoted all his time to serving the Heavenly Bureaucracy and the Emperor. In fact, you could say that hadn't it been for his lacking sense of self-worth he would have been the perfect candidate."

Leaning back, the Buddha stroked his chin.

"You have to understand that back then, only a single Campione existed. The bulk of them had perished before or during the Great War. The power vacuum left by them was keenly felt and Heretic Gods were much more numerous, oftentimes needing to be handled by other gods rather than leaving them to the Demon Kings."

That explained why he had to fight his Heretic self.

And, well, Issei certainly wouldn't complain if some local gods made his life easier by coming around or sending some backup if he really needed it. Hell, he could actually use some right about now.

Which was probably what the old monkey was here to do, come to think of it.

"So… more heretics, less campione, and that guy was involved somehow?"

"I was getting to that part."

Oh…

Issei looked away, feeling his cheeks color in embarrassment.

"It all started when a powerful trio of weather gods manifested together. A rarity to be sure, but not unlikely given their identities. When they started wreaking havoc across the continent, Hao Feng offered to exorcize them and departed with a small band of followers to seal away those idiot troublemakers."

He was sensing a but there.

The picture was pretty clear though. If these three gods were being as obvious and as disruptive as possible, and that there was only one Campione alive at the time, it wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility for the two groups aiming to deal with the same problem to meet up.

"So… he and Voban ran into each other?"

The older man smiled.

"Quick on the uptake, ain't ya? But yes, that's what happened. The exorcists ran into Marquis Voban as he marched into China to slay the Heretic Gods. Ordinarily, that would mean withdrawing our forces and allowing the god slayer to deal with the issue. However, Hao Feng decided to stand his ground and tried to make the Wolf King leave. This was a matter for our nation and its people to resolve, at least in his mind. Though if you'd ask me, I think Hao Feng actually wanted to pick a fight with him."

Why though?

Everyone he'd talked to about the whole Campione business said that it was their job to go after the Heretic Gods, and they all seemed pretty intent on just letting him do his thing since nobody ever showed up wanting to help.

Aside from maybe Athena, but he was pretty sure she only did it because he took her on a date.

"Did he WANT to fight Voban?"

The Monkey man shrugged.

"Beats me. Maybe he wanted to prove how good he was, wanted to test himself against a demon king and prevail. Earn glory and the favor of Heaven."

Issei sighed, he could already tell where this was going.

"He got his ass kicked, didn't he?"

"Beaten like a drum. Voban sent him back, barely alive, in a box. His followers weren't nearly as lucky. Death is not the worst thing that can happen when you fight the Marquis. No, he slaughtered Hao Feng's retinue and added them to his army of the undead."

That sounded… terrifying.

He hadn't really asked about the other Campione, but he was starting to understand why Smith was so… stiff back when they first met. Did she think he was gonna be like this Voban guy? Killing people for an army of zombies?

Issei couldn't help but shudder.

Just what kind of god did the guy kill to get that power?

"I'm gonna guess that wasn't the end of it?"

"Not by a long shot." Goku snorted. "See, after that entire debacle Voban went on to kill the trio of gods and then left, but Hao Feng couldn't let go of his grudge. After failing to acquire any aid in hunting down the Demon King, the man hatched a plan. He was convinced that only a Campione stood a chance at facing another Campione."

He didn't like where this was going.

"What did he do?"

Smiling bitterly, the legendary hero sipped from his bear, tossing the empty can to the side where it bounced off of Issei's wall, clinked against the rim of his wastebasket, and fell inside it… the few drops that spilled out, falling perfectly back into the can as it came to a rest.

"Why, he looked for a Heretic God to kill. It wasn't hard for him, he was an exorcist with ambition and was favored by Heaven. Finding out the whereabouts of a sealed Heretic wasn't a hard task. Yet no one, not even Hao Feng himself, could predict the outcome of his scheme. Though I shouldn't judge him too much. Even if he was a troublesome brat, it was my fault for being too stiff with him, pushing him too hard."

There were seven Campione in the world.

Only seven.

That much Issei remembered, so if someone went out of their way to become a god slayer like he did…

"He died."

Looking down, the older man sighed.

"Aye, he did. Worse yet, the Heretic God he released proceeded to rampage across the land at a time where both the gods and our servants were licking our wounds. I had just come back from dealing with some issues outside the country when I heard about it… over a thousand dead in just one day."

"I see."

And he did.

It wasn't a very big number, even if the Heretic was released in the countryside of China. Not that Issei knew too, too much about Dai Qing, either back then or today, other than the fact they were a constitutional monarchy similar to the British and only that because it was the price of integrating the Legation.

'Ah, thank you Kuoh entrance exams.'

Not feeling like a total idiot in front of a legend was nice.

"I take it the Heretic ravaged a few villages? A town or two?"

"Aye." The monkey slumped forwards a bit, a heavy weight suddenly pressing down on him. "It was a foolish mistake and, as I had been the one to seal that particular false god so long ago it is also my fault he was so angry." Lips twisting, another beer coming up to them, the ancient drank for a few heartbeats. "Sometimes, boyo, its better to not mock your enemies. They tend to take revenge."

"Understood…. For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

Wukong smiled at him.

"You're a good kid. Still! My screwups aside, that jackass called me out and I was in a rage. I wiped out his summons, broke the neck of his chief cultist, though I left the human alive, if paralyzed, and went to confront him. Only to find the fool drowning in his own blood."

A heavy sigh.

"The Nio were always angry, especially for guardians of the Buddha. But the Heretics lacked any redeeming features of the original twins. In the end, their ability to summon an endless line of clones of themselves meant I was able to see as Cuilian crushed the last's throat, having punctured both lungs, both kidneys, and both Nio's livers with her own bare hands. The worst part? She didn't use tricks or tactics."

That sounded… just…

"Wow, she really didn't know the meaning of going overboard, huh?"

The Monkey king chuckled.

"I doubt she ever did, even before she killed those two. You could say that her rise to demon king status came as a result of our lack of attentiveness and Hao Feng's grudge. It wasn't that little girl's fault that everything she knew and loved died that day. So, to make up for our blunder I was told to take her in."

Issei's eyebrows climbed his forehead in record time.

"Just like that?"

Wukong nodded with a thin smile.

"Just like that. Though you could say part of it was that many of us wanted to see whether a young Campione could be raised to reject the path of tyranny."

Ah, now he understood.

It wasn't just them trying to make up for having one of their people make a mess, they were trying to take advantage of a Campione being born from the mess and see whether she could replace the guy who released that Heretic God.

Now that he thought about it… was that what Smith's people were trying to do?

Issei didn't feel particularly tyrannical, and he hadn't really done much other than fight crazy strong ladies ever since he got his powers. And Smith hadn't really tried to make him do anything for her people, so was this the same thing or was he thinking too much about it?

Thoughts for later.

"So, what happened next? Because… uh… she kinda turned into a tyrant anyway, didn't she?"

"Well, brat, she was a shitty brat indeed. No matter how much I tried to teach her to take it easy, she insists on acting like she's some sort of, well, Demon King. You should just be glad you weren't around for the civil war."

"Wasn't that a century ago?"

"Yeah. And what the books don't say is that she intervened on the Emperor's behalf and the Heavenly Emperor didn't let anyone stop her."

"Wait… weren't there, um, a hundred million deaths in that war?"

"Yup."

"Oh."

"Don't worry too, too much, most of those deaths were because of famine and disease and your lot invading in the thirties didn't help. But it was mostly the Loyalists and the Republicans butchering one another. Magic, and Cuilian, and a few idiot gods, though, didn't make things better."

Not sure how to respond to the suddenly very grumpy looking monkey king, or that, somehow, he just seemed scarier than Luo Hao had, Issei remained quiet. Though, after a moment or two, the old man stood up, popped his back, and gave the teenager a pat on the head.

"After that she just got bored of us. She just left to start her own little gang in the mountains and has been a recluse outside of finding new gods to fight… which kinda landed us in this mess. As for tomorrow, well, do you really think you can outsmart me? Even a me that's just been locked away for so long?"

"Well, um, no sir." Blushing, the Campione looked down.

"Hah! I didn't mean it like that." Squatting down, Goku put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a very serious look. "You've got guts, potential, and a good heart, kid. More than most. Way more, even. So my advice for tomorrow is to not bother trying to monkey around. I'm the king of that, even if other me is a six eared macaque. And sometimes the problem really is just a nail."

Cracking a grin, even if it was a little forced, Issei forced the sour feeling in his gut away and stiffened his spine.

"And I can make one Hell of a hammer!"

"Atta boy." Pausing, the old man smirked. "Tell you what. If you win tomorrow, I've got a present for yah. Sound good?"

Issei nodded so fast he felt his head might pop off his shoulders.

A gift?

From Son Goku?

Ooh, maybe he'd get the Nimbus? Or even better, he'd get his own staff! He always loved the staff!

"I'll do my best!"

Clapping him on the shoulders, the Monkey King smiled with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

The Next Day

When Issei left home the next morning, he'd been told by Yinghua that his 'honored sister' would be waiting for him at his school. A bit of an odd choice, but he supposed that Kuoh being the largest building in town with plenty of room and unique shape, compared to everything else in the city at least, meant that it was probably the place that caught her attention first.

Still, the way his parents had hugged him, how his mom had made them all an American breakfast, Issei… he hadn't liked that.

They were trying so hard not to seem scared and both of them looked like they'd been crying last night. It left the teenager feeling immensely guilty, like he was the one who had caused that.

So perhaps he was in a bit of a pensive mood when he reached the school.

"But still." The Campione muttered to himself. "Why would she want to meet here?"

And maybe he wasn't paying much attention.

And just maybe he squeaked when someone suddenly spoke up behind him.

"Actually, we were the ones who suggested it."

Looking over his shoulder, Issei's heart leaped to his throat at the sight of the Occult Research Club's president waiting for him behind the gates. The beautiful redhead looked, well, stressed would be putting it mildly and Issei didn't want to point it out.

She still looked like a supermodel even with bags under her eyes.

"Is that really okay? The last time I fought with gods, you guys had to spend the whole night fixing it. This might be even worse than before."

His senior smiled thinly.

"I think it's best we try and limit the damage as much as we can. Sona and I strengthened the barriers as much as we could and then anchored them without leaving them connected to us. That should, at least, help contain the damage somehow. Even if the school itself is destroyed, it's better than fighting inside people's homes."

Yeah, that would be terrible, but there was no way they'd be able to keep this to just the school.

"You guys probably shouldn't stick around. The last time that barrier thing broke, you guys got really hurt, right?"

The devil girl shook her head.

"Thank you for your concern, Mr. Demon King, but we've taken precautions."

Frowning, not sure how to express what he was filling, the young man went with his gut.

"I'm not comfortable putting the lives of so many pretty girls at risk." He would be fighting Goku, after all. "I'll try and drag him somewhere empty so we can fight. He should be up for that, maybe? Besides, my… big sister and I had our fight not too far away. I can lead him there in the worst case."

Goku asked Vegeta, after all.

Not the Goku he met yesterday. That Goku was probably somewhere in town watching this mess. Even if Issei did appreciate the advice and the story time he got yesterday, he didn't appreciate being the one left to clean up his so-called sister's mess.

A sister who turned out to be the biggest case of a rebel phase he had ever heard about.

"Ah, well, you don't need to worry about that." The red head slumped her shoulders in defeat. "I'm afraid they're all back in the Underworld. Sona was right, it was time to withdraw, and I'll be joining them once you get started."

Pushing open the gate, she waited for Issei to enter before closing and locking it.

"Don't tell the other girl, but, well, we cheated a bit on our agreement." A small bat floated by Rias's ear and pulsed slightly, though he didn't have the faintest clue what was going on. "But, last night, I and Kiba burned a hole through her barrier, while Sona, Tsubaki, and Akeno cast a spell. We may have hypnotized as much of the city as possible to evacuate in an orderly manner."

"Huh. That's why no one was out this morning. I honestly just chalked it up to - wait, what do you mean 'she' made a barrier?"

The Devil blinked.

"You don't know about the giant magical forest surrounding the city?"

"No! Not at all!"

"Oh, uh, sorry about that?"

"I… just… thank you for trying to help people? Yes. That wasn't a question. Thank you, senpai!"

Bowing deeply, Issei felt tremendously grateful. Despite being a foreigner, a Devil, and having been attacked by a human, she was still kind enough to go out of her way to protect the innocent. It was more than he was capable of and, though it was selfish, it made him realize that there was something he had to ask of her.

"Ah, please forgive me, Bucchou, but I'm afraid I have a very serious request."

Confused, and perhaps a little worried, she crossed her arms and slowly nodded.

"I'm listening."

Issei had to fight not to glance down at what that did to her chest.

"At the moment, there are still people in the city, yes?"

"Unfortunately. Some that couldn't be evacuated, others that resisted my spell, and some that are protected or warded or just not affected for any possible reason."

"Well, if I make a quick call-" He pulled a small cellphone out of his back pocket, a cheap thing given to him that very morning by Agent Smith. "Would you be willing to cooperate with Agent Smith and finish the evacuation?"

Biting her lip, the Devil needed a few seconds to consider the question.

"I have nothing against working with them on this, but I don't know if I can actually accomplish that."

Her words came out carefully, one at a time, as if she was placing a shogi piece with each syllable.

"Umm, I'm not sure I understand…."

"There are people here that I can't influence, for a few reasons, and others that are in serious need of medical care. Moving them might kill them and I'm afraid I don't have the resources to save all of them, except by moving them to Sona's family estate in the Underworld. If I did that without explicit permission, it would likely cause a war."

Frowning, thinking, Issei punched in Smith's number.

"Issei! Are you ok? Is she not there?"

"Ah, Agent, I'm sorry, but I'm speaking with Rias Gremory."

"The Devil heiress. Yes."

The tone was slightly strangled, as if the woman was almost choking to death, but Issei just forged ahead.

"She says there's a chance to evacuate the city, the rest of it, that is."

"There's a way through Luo Hao's barrier?"

"Apparently, she and her friends burned a path, yes."

"I… see."

"Well, can I do something a bit crazy?"

A few heartbeats of silence.

"What do you have in mind?"

"As a Campione, I'm supposed to be a hotshot, right?"

"Yes…."

"And you'd get in trouble for working with a foreign group without permission, right?"

"Most likely. For a number of reasons, some of them good, some of them political."

"What if I ordered you and Agent Amakasu to help the President and Buchou

evacuate the rest of the city? In fact, I am ordering the HCC to collaborate with the Devil faction to preserve human life during this time of crisis."

By the end he was sweating, fidgeting, and the phone in his hand felt like a bomb. In fact, Issei almost wanted to cry! But, well, when Agent Smith responded, he relaxed. If only just a little.

"Heh. You really are a precocious brat, you know that?" He didn't respond, simply letting the government agent organize her thoughts. "That can work. No, we will make it work. She has my number, tell her to call me when things are taken care of on her end, alright?"

Hanging up, the young man looked up, seeing the girl he'd been talking to smiling at him.

"So, did you hear all that?"

"I did."

"Well, does it-"

Stepping closer, Rias kissed him on the cheek, turning Issei a bright pink as his mouth shut closed with enough force to make his teeth click.

"You're a good man, Issei Hyoudou, please don't die."

After that, there was a flash of light and a strange, magical glyph that appeared in mid air, only for Rias and the bat to disappear as it dimmed.

And that left the Campione alone, with his thoughts, and a strange, crazy lady waiting for him.

"Because, honestly, running away from home and starting a gang sounds simple enough. I think sometimes politician's kids still do that."

Only she made a damn cult and spent the best part of a hundred years ruling it like she was something right out of a light novel!

Issei couldn't wrap his head around killing a god bare handed. He had always fought them with stuff he made with Dusa-chan's powers. But to actually beat a god to death with her own hands…

It was crazy.

'And I kissed that crazy.'

Walking past the small gatehouse let the young man see that said crazy was standing on top of the main building. Waiting. Looking at him like a sibling who took too long getting ready and now they needed to rush if they wanted to make it to school before roll call. Yes, it was that specific and at least she hadn't decided to fight him again.

He really didn't want to try his luck.

"I see that my Young Eagle has been successful in helping you recuperate. This Luo Hao is pleased. Had you appeared before me in anything less than your best, it would have been less disgraceful to strike you down and conduct the ritual elsewhere."

Swallowing nervously, Issei put on his best confident smile.

"Thank you, sister. Wouldn't… have missed this chance for the world."

She nodded at him in approval, as if confirming her own previous assessment of him. Which was probably wrong, but he wasn't about to correct her when it meant she felt he was playing along.

He was… just not eagerly.

Part of him wondered if Bucchou was already helping the rest of the city get away. And if that left only Issei, the Cult Leader, and the oversized column of smooth black stone standing beside her.

Capped in gold; it looked like a very expensive statue and Issei could already imagine what it was.

"Is that the, uh, real staff?"

The older campione smiled enigmatically, looking every bit as beautiful as when they first met.

"Ruyi Jingu Bang, or, rather a replica of the original made as a vessel to house the seal containing the Heretic God within. Obtaining it required a fair bit of effort, even from one such as I, therefore I expect you to show due diligence and appreciate the blessing this represents."

Right, blessing.

Like he wasn't about to get his ass kicked six ways to Sunday just because she wanted to spar with a god out of boredom.

"So, how's this gonna happen? Do we need a spell or a ritual to get that thing to open up?"

He couldn't hope to get it away from her. She was just that much stronger than him.

"No, the seal is simple but effective. One needs only apply sufficient force from the outside to open."

Sufficient force?

"What does that even-"

She punched it.

Just… punched it.

Yet the effect was immediate - the oversized staff replica shuddered, a pattern of spider web-like cracks spreading from where Luo Hao's diamond hard fist buried itself and a faint golden light leaked through the staff.

First, nothing happened, a few flakes of stone falling away as the other Campione withdrew her hand. In fact, Isse would swear the staff started to knit itself back together! But then a finger of all things poked a hole into it from the inside. A hole that grew and grew… and just grew as the digit dug and scratched and pulled at the broken seal.

But then, just as a second finger joined the first, everything went still. The cracked popped and snapped and climbed across its smooth, formerly perfect surface, until the whole thing shuddered and strained.

Then, with a thunderous crack, the staff snapped in half.

Issei closed his eyes, a pillar of golden light erupting from the broken staff, the flash piercing upwards and splitting the clouds.

Accompanied by a booming laugh.

"Finally! After two hundred years, I'm free!"

He opened his eyes and Luo Hao was gone.

Standing in her place was a humanoid monkey, not unlike the Goku that Issei met the previous night. However, that was were their similarities ended. For this one had white, silverish fur, and wasn't nearly as old. He wore a similar gold headband to the one the older Goku did, and a red scarf that fluttered in the wind behind him almost like a cape. Nor was he hunched over, instead standing upright and looking less like a wise elder and more like an adventurer of legend, eager to embark on his next challenge.

Yet in his heart, Issei could tell.

This too was 'Son Goku'.

'Hmm, calling them both that would be confusing though.'

So maybe he should call the younger one Wukong. If only so the distinction didn't tie his brain up in knots.

"And look what we have here. The welcome committee!"

Unfortunately Issei's anonymity was short lived as the silver monkey zeroed on him almost immediately, an aura of eagerness leaking off him as Issei tried to steel his nerves.

And even if it was a bit foolish, he had to try one last thing.

"Asking you to leave wouldn't work, would it?"

Wukong laughed, easy going, relaxed, taking great gulping breaths of fresh air and already bending over to touch his toes.

"Ah, no can do. Afraid to say that I feel like stretching after being stuck in that staff for so long. And really… is that something a god slayer should be saying to a Heretic? You can't be that spineless, right?"

Bending over backwards, the monkey man totally ignored him as he began to grab his toes from behind. Issei felt his body twitch, the urge to walk up to the silver monkey so he could smack the smile off of his dumb face nearly overcoming him.

He could feel it.

A nervous energy, close to bursting out. His guts telling him that this wasn't someone he could take lightly, telling him to stand his ground even as the Heretic's presence broke against his body like a tangible aura.

Yes, he was a god.

And he was a Campione.

For the two of them, there really wasn't any other choice, huh?

"I just didn't want to make a mess of the place… but I don't mind helping with the clean up." From within he felt his own power seeping through, his body feeling lighter and his awareness of the surrounding world sharpening into focus.

Had Issei had a mirror, he would have also noticed the thin, jagged smile that now threatened to take hold. It was a little afraid, a little timid, and a lot proud. It was the smile of someone who knew they weren't going to enjoy the next several hours but, damn the costs, they would see it through.

Wukong, however, must have seen it and knew exactly what it meant.

Because he smiled back.

"Well now, that feels more like a Godslayer. Had your fun already, huh? You stink of death… and Snake."

Eyes narrowing, Issei manifested a stone spear in his hand.

"I think I'm gonna start killing you now."

The silver monkey matched him, producing a long red staff. The sort that made his heart clench with nostalgia.

"Yes, those are some good eyes. Now come, Godslayer, let us show the world that the Great Sage Equalling Heaven has returned!"