Chapter 4

Ruby felt herself tense as Dr. Collins stood over her, his expression solemn as he looked her directly in the eye. "Um, look," she said carefully, "if this is about Bill, MacGyver already told me."

The doctor's craggy features softened further. He didn't make any move to touch her, but his highly expressive eyes somehow managed to hold her gaze and convey a level of sympathetic warmth that was so tangible, physical contact wasn't needed.

"Ruby," he began carefully, while MacGyver stood about two feet behind him and off to his left just a little, "I have just finished examining your lab results and going over all of the details of your X-rays with my staff." He took a deep breath, then simply said what he needed to say. "I'm sorry, Ruby, but it looks like we are going to have to amputate both of your legs from the knee down. The damage is just too extensive, and there are signs of severe infection in the right leg despite our best efforts."

Ruby gulped, feeling all of the blood drain from her cheeks and neck. "But I feel fine!" she exclaimed. "There is nothing wrong with my legs!"

"That," Dr. Collins explained gently, "is only because you're on pain medication. If you weren't, you would be in extreme agony right now."

A silence filled the room as she stared up at the ceiling for a long moment, processing this information. Her chest felt numb, her stomach felt like someone had punched her right in the gut. Her expression was blank from mild shock, but her eyes were filled with anguish.

MacGyver was on the other side of her bed now. She hadn't even noticed him come over. "Hey, are you alright?" She felt the warmth of his hand on her shoulder, accompanied with just enough pressure to let her know he was there.

For a long moment, she didn't know what she wanted to do or say, if anything. She found herself raising her hand marginally, uncertain what she wanted or needed, but Mac seemed to take it as a cue to grasp it in his own and hold it. She gripped it in kind, finding more comfort in that simple gesture than she thought possible.

"Miss Allen," Dr. Collins prompted quietly.

Ruby hadn't even realized she had shut her eyes until she opened them and turned her head to look at the doctor. "Yes?"

Dr. Collins licked his lips almost apprehensively. Instead of speaking, his eyes snapped over to MacGyver, as though silently asking the other man's opinion on something.

Ruby found her own head lulling to face the other direction, looking up at MacGyver instead. "What's going on?" she wanted to know. "Is there even more bad news?" She didn't know if she could take this, not now. But part of her knew she also needed to know, now. It would be much worse later on if she didn't get told now.

MacGyver gave her hand a gentle squeeze, his eyes flicking briefly between her eyes and the doctor's, then back to her. Somehow, apparently, it seemed that they had silently agreed that this news would come better from a friend… even if Ruby wasn't certain she would go that far yet. Was Mac a friend? He was certainly behaving like one… and he was a friend of Bill, at least.

"Ruby," Mac's voice was gentle, full of compassion, "the lower part of your spinal column has been permanently damaged. You're gonna be paralyzed from the waist down for the rest of your life."

Both men were looking at her very carefully now, barely blinking, no doubt highly concerned about what was going to come next. Another show of waterworks? A potential breakdown?

It took another long moment for that information to finish sinking in. Whoever said that bad things 'came in three's' was apparently correct. In a way, she had just lost Bill, and then her legs, and now the ability to move or feel anything below her belly button for the rest of her life.

What the hell had she done to deserve this cruel twist of fate? She hadn't done anything! She'd always been a good person for the most part, she stayed away from bad people and she didn't have any particularly bad habits. Why was this happening to her?

She didn't quite hear the words of the next verbal prompt asking her if she was alright. She didn't even register which person said it. All she knew was that there were a whirlwind of overwhelming emotions welling up inside her, and they were so intense that it caused her chest to constrict.

"Get out."

"Ruby–"

Again, she couldn't tell who was speaking at this point. "GET OUT. BOTH OF YOU JUST GET OUT." The words simply erupted from her mouth, but it felt like someone else was saying them. She felt like a disembodied spirit who was still witnessing everything going on in the room, but someone else had taken over her body–what was left of it, at least–and using her vocal chords to convey bitterness and resentment… to lash out at the messengers who'd just informed her that her life had changed forever, and not for the better.

Whoever this 'other person' was that was speaking through her for a moment, she somehow agreed with her.

She barely registered Dr. Collins giving Mac a sort of cautionary look, and both men apparently decided the best thing to do would be to back off and give her space. If one or both of them did say something, she didn't register it. It sounded like their words had become fish language trying to reach her through thick, salty ocean water.

The only thing she became aware of was when the door shut.

They were gone. She was alone.

For what seemed like a long time, she remained frozen in the same moment.

She had no idea what happened when she finally started to cry, but whatever happened, whatever she was doing, it was bad enough for Irina to come running in, and then shortly afterward the Doctor came back in. Moments later, there was a sharp yet brief prick in her arm, and she found herself sinking into the deep black realm of unconsciousness.

0o0o0o0o0o0

The very next morning, MacGyver arrived at the hospital just after the time he knew when visiting hours began. He had made a small pit stop along the way to buy a nice plastic vase, then he'd bought a small assortment of both plastic and real flowers.

He didn't know Ruby well enough to know what her preference might be, but he figured she would appreciate the thought… at least he hoped so. Glass or porcelain vases tended to be nicer to look at, but he also felt that things could happen sometimes… particularly since fragile materials could shatter and be a hazard. He didn't want to subject the hospital staff to cleaning anything up if the vase fell or got knocked over, and even if Ruby couldn't get out of bed easily, he didn't want to risk her cutting herself.

Mac had heard of what happened just after he left the previous day. Irina had taken some time to call him at home, that Ruby had entered a state where she was just screaming and crying uncontrollably, to the point where Dr. Collins felt he had no choice but to sedate her. He hoped she would fare better today, that perhaps the shock had a chance to wear off and the worst of her reaction was over… but she would still need time.

He had selected a mixture of plastic and real flowers because she could enjoy touching and smelling the real ones if she wanted to, but even after they died, she would still have the plastic ones to look at. He really hoped it would help liven up her room a little, at least.

"How's she doing?" Mac found himself asking Irina as he passed by the front desk.

Irina's eyes lit up on behalf of the girl when she noticed the small vase with the flowers in his hands. Her lips softened into a small smile, although her features remained concerned and grim. "Well, she's better than yesterday, at least. But she didn't eat much of her breakfast, and she hasn't said a word to anyone."

"Well, I'll go in and see if I can cheer her up a little," Mac said, casting the nurse a grateful glance before continuing on.

When he reached Ruby's room, he rapped his knuckles lightly on the doorframe before he entered. He could already tell that she still wasn't in the best state of being; there was no light behind her eyes, but she was at least alert enough to look at him when he entered.

"Hey," he said softly as he came closer to her bed, "how are you doing?"

When she didn't answer, he indicated the vase he was holding. "I brought you these, I thought they might help brighten your room a little." He gently placed the vase on the nightstand next to her bed.

Her eyes darted briefly in the direction of the vase, just enough to matter-of-factly register the fact that it was there, then snapped back up at him. Then, as though not having much interest in the gift or even in his presence, she looked away and stared up at the ceiling.

MacGyver sighed inwardly. Poor kid. This really was a lot to go through. He couldn't even imagine what it might be like, considering he'd had some struggles over the years, but he hadn't gone through anything quite like this.

For Bill's sake though, he had to try. If Bill could see her now…

Mac pulled the chair over next to the bed and sat down next to her, looking at her intently even if she wouldn't look at him. "Look, Ruby," he began, "Bill wouldn't want you to just withdraw into yourself or ignore everyone who's trying to help you. And you're not gonna help yourself this way, either."

Ruby blinked, then made a noise that sounded something like a scoff. "Yeah, that's just it. Bill isn't coming back. I'm not gonna be able to walk again, either."

"But you're still alive, that's something–" Mac began.

"You call this living?!" Ruby nearly shouted. "I can't go back to work like this! I can't go anywhere like this! Nobody is gonna want to be around a lame, crippled person, and that's all I'm gonna be if I get out of here!"

Mac straightened in the chair. "Ruby," he stated, gently but firmly, "you are still alive. Everything you are, everything that makes you unique and special, is in here." He pressed a fingertip against his temple, pointing to his brain. "Everything up in here is still perfectly healthy inside you… you just need to focus on getting better and see what you can do next with your life."

He waited until she actually looked at him, his words getting through at least a bit, and he held her eyes with his own. "Now will you please stop putting yourself down?"

For a long moment, she looked like she didn't even know how to respond. Eventually, she finally looked away again, but he was able to recognize that look even though he still didn't know her very well. She was about to cry again, and she didn't want him to see it. It wasn't a hysterical or breakdown kind of cry, just the natural tears of feeling… of going through something.

MacGyver gently brushed her hair out of her face with his fingers, then wiped away the excess tears. "I'm here," he told her softly, "and I'll be here for as long as you need me."

She didn't say anything else for a long time, but he could tell from the look she gave him that she was asking him to stay. After a little while, he got up just to turn on the TV, to see if there was anything good on that they could at least try to enjoy together. Mac understood that what she needed, at least for now, was just someone to quietly sit with her and keep her company.

Ruby needed time. And time was all that anyone could give her.