Chapter 7

Ruby had completely lost track of what day it was. It didn't even matter anymore, Monday was the same as Friday. When her dark eyes flicked toward the clock on the wall, she didn't even register the time. It just didn't seem to matter, although part of her was aware that it was still daylight outside.

She still felt numb inside, hopeless. Her mind and heart had only just begun to accept that Bill wouldn't be coming back, ever again. At this point, there was little chance of her receiving word that the doctors had made a mistake, and that he would still get up from whatever operating table he had been laid on after the accident.

But she just couldn't bring herself to accept her physical handicap. She knew she could move on from losing Bill eventually. She was strong in that way, she had lost people before. She could not, however, bear losing the ability to walk.

She had been praying for a miracle. If God could bring Lazurus back from the dead, and make a crippled man walk again, why was He ignoring her prayers? She just felt like being stubborn. She had refused every form of help that everyone had offered in this hospital, because she was holding out.

She needed an answer, and it absolutely had to be the answer she wanted. She needed to be told that she would walk again, and she would accept nothing else.

Her thoughts turned briefly to what happened the other day, when she had been out and about around the hospital with MacGyver. In spite of herself, she did feel a stab of guilt when she replayed her own words in her mind, when Lilly had been sweet enough to offer her an afghan… and Ruby had responded by rejecting the offer and blowing off both MacGyver and Lilly.

In truth, Ruby had felt a little bad about the entire scene even after the nurse had taken her back to her room and agreed to leave her alone. And she still felt a bit bad about it. There was a part of her that still felt like lashing out at anyone who came near her right now… similar to how she had pushed everyone away and kept to herself after her parents died.

Some part of her realized… she wasn't just dealing with the loss of her legs, she was still dealing with the loss of Bill, too. She kept trying to tell herself that she was already over it, all because she'd gone to his funeral and she had already experienced the pain of losing people and having to move on before… but in truth, his death was still fresh.

His death still left a certain amount of… rawness in her chest.

In a way… perhaps it had seemed like some part of her life was starting to make sense even despite everything, that she had found someone who truly cared about her, who she could… maybe start to make a life with. And Bill seemed to have a fairly good social circle and a great job to boot… and it spoke volumes that his friend MacGyver would come and try to stand by her so much when he barely even knew her.

MacGyver hadn't come to see her again after the way she blew up at him and Lilly the previous evening, not that she could blame him… she had made it quite clear she wanted to be left alone, and she did have the nurse take her away from them. But… Mac hadn't been by yet to visit this morning, either… did that mean he had decided to give up on her? Did he take her seriously when she said she wanted to be left alone?

Now, as a result… she was alone. Her fingers curled around air as the memory of the afghan and the texture of the yarn made itself almost tangible again. She really wished she had it now; she regretted the way she treated Lilly and rejected the offer of the gift. Right now, being able to put that around her might have been the one thing that would give her some comfort, especially during times when she had no visitors.

Besides, she told herself, you don't have your legs anymore, but you still have your hands and fingers… There were definitely a lot of things she could still do with her hands and fingers. She would never be completely helpless.

Her head slowly inched toward the door, as though willing someone, anyone, to come in and reaffirm that all wasn't lost. She wanted to see a nurse's warm and helpful expression, or maybe see Lilly poke her head in and possibly offer her a second chance to have the afghan… or even just to have MacGyver come in, say hello, and ask how she was doing….

A knock on the doorframe summoned her out of her thoughts, and her vision focused in on the blue-garb of a hospital worker.

The man was neither handsome nor ugly, though he wasn't all that bad to look at either. His Caucasian features were lightly tanned, his ebony black hair was neatly trimmed and came down just below his ears. His eyes were almost as black as his hair.

Ruby frowned slightly as she took in his appearance. He was just so tall, he might have actually surpassed MacGyver in height by an inch or so.

"Who are you?" she asked. Somehow, she felt some of her surly mood returning in lieu of a familiar face. This doctor was somehow just another reminder that her legs had been lopped off at the knee, and she would never be the same again.

A sympathetic smile crossed the man's face. Apparently he took her curt tone as an invitation, because he was already stepping into the room.

"I'm Graham," he said, and then pointed a subtle finger in her direction. "And you're Ruby. Aren't you?"

"Yes," she acknowledged quietly. "If you're here to try that therapy stuff on me or try to get me used to the wheelchair again, don't bother." She looked away from him, opting to stare at the opposite wall instead.

He dragged a chair closer to the bed. She heard the plastic creak as he slipped into it.

"I'm here to talk to you… see what you want. I figured that would be a… pleasant change for you."

She scoffed. The sound that escaped her lips was like a dry, humorless chuckle that almost scraped her throat. "What I want?" she echoed without looking at him. "I just want to walk again. But it seems like nobody can tell me how to make that happen. All they keep telling me is that it's not possible, and I have to accept things as they are."

Ruby's head lulled to one side as she finally looked at him, the corners of her eyes glinting with moisture. "I need to walk again. I can't live my life in a wheelchair. I just couldn't bear it."

The man seemed to be searching her face—looking for something. His expression was sympathetic, but there was a glint in his eye that was more than a little off-putting.

But then he spoke, and his words made that train of thought shutter to a halt.

"Well… hypothetically, if you were given the option to walk again, would you take it?"

Ruby stared at him for a long moment, as though questioning her own ears. "I-I have been told by everyone here that it just isn't possible," she stammered lightly, her brow furrowing. "My doctor showed me the X-rays-"

"Well, that's why they call it a hypothetical, isn't it?" He smiled at her—the motion all teeth. "I mean… even if it would come at a price. Would you pay it?"

Ruby's eyes narrowed into slits. "If you're just here to torment me with what if's, I don't want to hear it," she warned. "But," she added quickly, "if there is a price that could make it happen, you're gonna be disappointed. I don't have any money at all."

"I'm not talking money. What is money, anyway?" He shrugged. "Paper. Paper and ink. No—" he leaned closer, "I deal in time. Because that's what is most important. Something you can never take back. Your legs, however…" his eyes flitted to the motionless lumps under the beige blankets. He smiled at her. "I can work with that much."

"But you said there is a price?" Ruby pressed tentatively, finding herself a little curious in spite of herself. "If it's not money, then what are you asking of me?"

He exhaled slowly, as if thinking. It was a moment before he shifted his legs, and tapped a knuckle against one of his knees.

"You know how I lost my legs, Ruby?" He asked her.

She stared his legs, noting the fact that he was not only standing, but didn't show any sign of discomfort or difficulty in moving. "You look fine," she stated, a little uncertain. "If this is some kind of cruel prank-"

He held up his hand. "I promise," he said, not an ounce of offense in his voice, as a moment later his face split in a smile again. "It was a car accident. Similar to yours, actually. I was just a naive teenager at the time, and we had all had a little too much to drink…" he cleared his throat. "The van it, um… flipped. I don't know how many times. To be honest it kinda felt like one of those rollercoaster rides. Y'know, you never really feel it when you go upside down…" he flicked his eyes to her. "I don't really know how many of them survived. Me? I was halfway out of the van. The doctors said the only thing keeping my hips attached to my body was two or three frayed tendons and muscle. A hopeless case. Lucky to survive even a few days."

Ruby shuddered in spite of herself at the graphic mental image. "So you're telling me," she said slowly, "that you were able to walk again, even despite everything?" She gave a minute shake of her head. "If that's so, then why hasn't anyone here told me about this treatment, whatever it is? Why does everyone keep telling me it's hopeless and I just have to accept having a broken spine and broken legs?"

"Because," he said simply, "they think you're unimportant."

Somehow, that statement-especially the way he said it-made her heart sink. She had already been feeling miserable and lower than dirt over these few weeks, and his words just seemed to confirm it.

"You mean they didn't even try to look into this alternative treatment for me?" Anger began to rise in her chest. "They didn't even want to tell me about it?"

He seemed genuinely sympathetic. "I'm sorry, Ruby."

She didn't answer, turning her head away from him. She waited for him to just get up, to leave. And when the chair creaked, she thought he was getting ready to do just that. But then his voice came again—closer than it was before.

"I know what it's like," he said. "To be overlooked. They didn't think I was worth it either. Sure, they fixed me. But I was an experiment. For an operation they were not even sure would work. It might have caused me constant pain, might have killed me with even more agonizing slowness than it would have been if they had just left me alone." He shook his head. "They didn't give me a choice, either—they tricked me into it. Now I won't trick you, Ruby. I want to help you. I really do."

Ruby regarded him for a long moment. "Are you trying to tell me this treatment or whatever it is might hurt?" she finally asked, suddenly wary of the whole thing.

"It won't hurt," he assured her. "There will be the usual pain that comes with physical therapy, but it fades. It's not experimental anymore, Ruby. What I'm trying to tell you is… it comes with a price."

Something deep inside Ruby's gut told her to reject this offer immediately, that something about this might almost be akin to selling her soul to the devil... that there would be no turning back.

But what if it truly meant she could walk again?

She thought briefly of Phoenix, of Bill, how he'd always said that he was so proud to work for that organization, that they helped many people. But if they were so great, why didn't they offer whatever it was that Graham was capable of offering her?

MacGyver's boyish features flashed momentarily through her mind for some reason, then faded. Anger rose in her chest again. That man claimed he loved Bill almost like a brother, that he was trying to help her, but... did he secretly feel that she was unimportant? Perhaps he blamed her for Bill's death in some ways, and was trying to keep this from her.

"Tell me what the price is," she finally said. "Tell me what I need to do."

"This operation it's… almost like an enhancement. It will give you back legs like new… better than new. It makes us different, special. Just… some people don't look at it like that. They see us as something to be studied, and cast out. So we can only be safe when we're together. We can't really trust outsiders, because they want to use people like us."

Ruby was staring very hard at him now, her forehead crinkling as she absorbed what he was saying. "Um, what exactly do you mean by 'people like us'?" she demanded lightly.

"Why, I mean people who've suffered the same type of unfortunate circumstances that we have." Graham stood in a smooth motion and with a minor flourish, indicated his arms and legs. "I was just like you before I had a wondrous operation that not only replaced the limbs I'd lost in that terrible accident, but left me with a better body than I had before."

He rolled up his sleeves. The skin on his arms looked the same as it did on his face and neck. "And do you see these?" He momentarily hiked up one of his pantlegs, just long enough for her to see. "I was an amputee just like you, Ruby, and I suffered from partial paralysis too–until I was given these. And," he added pointedly, "these are very much like what you would be getting. No one would ever know the difference."

He rolled his pantleg and then his sleeves back down. Then he eyed her pointedly.

"So I will be able to walk again?" Ruby asked slowly, her intense gaze penetrating his lifelike, artificial limbs even through the fabric of his medical garb.

"That, and more," Graham promised, like it was an absolute certainty. "You will be with people who can truly understand you and what you've been through, Ruby–people who have come out on the other side, just as you will with the right operation and time."

He leaned a little closer and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You will become part of a whole new family, Ruby." His fingers tightened in a gentle squeeze for emphasis. "Part of my family."

At first, she couldn't help but balk slightly at the sudden close proximity from a man she had literally just met–particularly since there almost seemed to be an odd level of… premature possessiveness on his part, like he felt like he already owned her. It wasn't entirely clear why she felt that notion, but it was just a brief flash of gut instinct in response to… the look in his eye when he first got real close, even if it only lasted an instant.

But after a moment, she relaxed as he seemed to silently communicate in earnest that he was here for her… and he was offering her the chance of a lifetime, on a golden platter, something that would be exactly what she wanted and needed–and if she rejected this… if she brushed him off… it would never come around again.

"Is that what you… and the other people who've had this operation really are?" Ruby found herself asking slowly. "You're like a family? You all live together?"

"Yes," Graham responded warmly. "We have a very special place where we can bring people like you, to give you and others who have suffered the loss of limbs hope and a new chance at life–and afterward, we give you a new family and a home, a chance to recover and be around others just like you." He smiled encouragingly, and reached over to take her hand and give it a light squeeze. "People just like us."

"I can stay there as long as I want?" Ruby found the idea to be… increasingly enticing the more she thought about it. At his nod, she continued to mull it over.

It sounded like wherever she would be going, if she agreed, would be a lot better than this place. Here, it just seemed like everyone was telling her that she had to deal with the loss of her legs and the damage to her spine as it was, and then… well, once she healed, then what? They were just gonna tell her to be content with a wheelchair and pretty much shove her out the door at some point when she finished healing and overstayed her welcome here, right?

It definitely seemed like this man… this Graham… was offering her far more than anyone else she had met recently. Even MacGyver only offered her words, his company, sometimes opportunities to go to different areas of the hospital as a distraction, but… he hadn't come in with an actual solution or offer of hope.

Surely that meant that Graham was already proving to be a much better friend than MacGyver could ever be…

"Are you saying," Ruby asked slowly, "that this is gonna change me? That I won't be like I was somehow?" Oh, who was she kidding? She already wasn't like she was before. She never would be again, and this at least was offering her a smidge of hope.

He smiled reassuringly, and lifted up one leg, propping up his ankle on the opposite knee. "It's better than like you were before, Ruby. Trust me." He sounded almost wistful. "It's better."

"Well, I don't suppose I have anything to lose," she said after a moment. "If it means I can walk again, I would rather give it a try instead of lying in a bed or sitting in a wheelchair for the rest of my life."

His smile brightened at her.

Later, she would think of that moment as when she made her mistake. She smiled back, just happy at the prospect of being able to move again. It made her completely miss the predatory glint that flashed in Graham's eye. It was there for less than a second. Then the man was leaning forward, holding out his hand to shake.

After only a moment's hesitation, she lifted her own hand to grasp his, sealing their agreement. "Does this mean I'm gonna be discharged, or transferred to another hospital or something?" she wanted to know.

"You'll be moved to our outpatient facility. There is dorm housing there, which is where you'll be staying until you're recovered." His smile softened. "It will be a privilege to have you among us… Ruby." He said her name like he was tasting it for the first time. Like it meant something.

"How soon can I get out of here?" There was a part of Ruby that, for now anyway, felt a bit bitter and spiteful toward this place and everyone in it. Perhaps it was a little cruel on her part, but she almost felt a sense of smug satisfaction at the idea of being able to slip out without having to see anyone, without having to say goodbye... particularly where Mac was concerned.

"I can have you out by tomorrow," he assured as he stood. "I just need to talk to your doctor."

He looked back at her one last time before he left. "I'm going to make you better, Ruby—I promise."

He closed the door softly on his way out.