Chapter 14: How Not to Train an Owsla.
""He can occasionally see to an enemy," she conceded. "If he manages to get his sword pointed in the right direction and the enemy does him the favor of falling upon it in precisely the right way.""
-Lynn Kurland, Star of the Morning
-"WAKE UP!"
Woundwort walked a little further down the run, before putting his head inside the next burrow and repeating what he had previously said.
-"What's all the racket?" Cowslip said, having arrived from another run, alerted by the shouting.
-"I'm trying to get them to wake up," Woundwort explained. "An owsla must have discipline."
-"Ah, yes. The owsla. Do you really intend to carry out this project?"
-"Absolutely. You didn't seriously think I was joking, did you?"
-"No, but I think you should learn how to relax. Ever since you have arrived, you have seemed tense and angry, at everything and nothing. Why don't you learn to appreciate the simple things in life? Fresh flayrah every day..."
-"I've never seen such a sloppy lot." Woundwort was profoundly annoyed at how Cowslip kept repeating the same things, always very slowly, and cut him off. "Seriously, have they absolutely no discipline?"
-"They wake up and go to sleep whenever they please. We have no need for a precise sleeping schedule."
As the two leaders spoke, a few groans came from a nearby burrow. A rabbit poked his head into the run and briefly looked around, before returning to his burrow and going back to sleep.
-"If any of them want to be part of the owsla, everything will have to be stricly monitored: sleeping, eating, training, everything," Woundwort explained. "Now, go and find everyone who is already up, and bring them all outside. I'll wake up a few others."
Cowslip hesitated, briefly questioning General Woundwort's sanity. He quickly came to the conclusion that any rabbit who doesn't experience the benefit of daily flayrah and poetry is crazy, but hopefully Woundwort would mellow down after a while. Still, now was not the time to anger him, so he might as well follow the instructions.
As Cowslip walked away, Woundwort looked into the next burrow.
-"WAKE UP!" he shouted yet again.
The only rabbit inside, an undersized silver white buck, did not stir. Woundwort briefly wondered whether he was dead, but there was no smell of disease. He approached him and cuffed him in the ears.
-"WAKE UP!"
The small rabbit stretched out his hind legs, and moved one of his front paws through his whiskers. He slowly got up and opened his eyes, before staring intensely at Woundwort, who found this rather unsettling.
-"Good day, General Woundwort," he said suddenly. "What's on your mind?"
-"How do you know my name?"
The young rabbit was about to answer, but Woundwort cut him off:
-"Never mind. What's YOUR name?"
-"Silverweed."
-"All right Silverweed. You are to follow me at once."
-"Where are we going?"
-"Outside. You're in the owsla now, and you must train."
Silverweed was confused by this, but nevertheless followed Woundwort outside. Cowslip had already gathered a small group of rabbits, and was waiting with them. A squirrel was sitting on a branch near the top of a nearby tree, watching the scene unfold.
-"Is that all you got?" Woundwort asked.
-"Not many rabbits are up at this time of day, General Woundwort."
-"Well, this will do, for now anyway. All right everyone! You're in the owsla now!"
-"What's an...owsla?" asked one of the rabbits.
Woundwort stared at the crowd in shock, appalled by this random rabbit's ignorance.
-"An owsla is a group of rabbits who fight to protect their warren and maintain the glory of their Chief."
-"That sounds nasty," another rabbit said. "I don't like fighting."
Woundwort sighed loudly. These rabbits were clearly not interested in being part of an owsla, and unmotivated rabbits are perhaps the hardest to train.
-"Everyone, arrange yourselves in pairs."
The rabbits stared at him, before carrying out the order. However, it took a long time for everyone to get organized. A rabbit would come across one potential partner, only to decide do resume searching for another one. This went on for quite a while.
-"Fools," Woundwort mumbled, before turning to Cowslip. "Now, show me the location of the shining wires."
Cowslip stared at Woundwort awkwardly for a few moments.
-"We have fresh flayrah every day, and..."
Suddenly, he found himself grabbed by the neck. Woundwort's front paws held him tightly, not enough to choke him, but tightly enough for him to be unable to get away.
-"Where. Are. The. WIRES!"
-"If...you'll let me go...I'll show you...General..."
Woundwort let go; Cowslip rubbed his neck before going into the undergrowth, with Woundwort following him. Near the roots of the bush was a single shining wire. Woundwort struck it with his paw; the peg was ripped out of the ground.
-"This is all a lie!" Cowslip said. "There can be no escape from the shining wire! This is the truth, the answer, the solution, fo..."
-"Perhaps," Woundwort replied, before Cowslip could finish his sentence, "but I don't want to waste any time training other rabbits only for them to get snared. Lead me to the other wires."
Cowslip and Woundwort spent a long time wandering around the warren, with the General destroying every snare Cowslip showed him. After hrair snares had been removed, they went back to the warren, and saw that the rabbits had finally manged to assemble in pairs as they had been ordered.
-"All right, everyone. Now your first task for today: fighting. Each one of you is to try to fight the rabbit you are paired with. Your goal is to put them in a situation they can't escape: keep them pinned to the ground with your claws at their throat. When that happens, don't finish them off just yet, call out to me. Any questions?"
All the rabbits stared at Woundwort. One of them started to talk, but decided it would be better to remain silent.
-"ATTAAACK!" Woundwort ordered.
The rabbits attacked. In the first pair, both collided painfully with each other and collapsed. In the second pair, one rabbit succeeded in pinning his opponent easily, but sneezed, allowing her to get away. One of the rabbits in the third pair had run away, and the other one had no idea where he had gone or what to do. In the fourth pair, one rabbit tried to pounce over the other, but ended up jumping over him and crashing in the grass behind him. Silverweed stared intensely at his opponent, who was unable to escape his gaze. She ceased to move and eventually lied down, before Silverweed approached her and closed her eyes, allowing her to fall asleep.
Woundwort was horrified by what he saw. How was he to turn this sloppy lot into a decent owsla that could defeat the outsiders?
Meanwhile, the squirrel was still looking at the rabbits. At first, she had been horrified at how the one Cowslip called "General Woundwort" wanted everyone to fight, but after she saw them try, she sighed in relief: they clearly had no idea what they were doing, so there was no way anyone would get hurt.