Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from Kim Possible are all owned by Disney the great and powerful. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

The Ancient Saw

Many weeks later, during one of Kim's frequent calls to Ron, he asked, "How's the dating app working out?"

"Lousy. I've had three women contact me – not counting Shego. Had, like, a couple dates with one and one of them... Ron, would I sound like a shallow person if I said I had a problem with a woman who believes soap and deodorant are evil and we should smell the way God intended?"

"And you still went out with her more than once?"

"No, that one was one time only."

"I think you sound normal. She sounds a little... uh..."

"Yeah. That was my reaction."

"Wait, you said these women all contacted you?"

"Yes."

"And Shego contacted you?"

"Yes."

"Have you used the app yourself to connect with anyone?"

"No."

"KP, I think–"

"I'm really busy!"

"If you're too busy to look you're too busy to go out on dates. Maybe there's some wonderful woman out there with her head stuck in a dark place too. You're not going to find each other unless one of you is looking... This is weird."

"You being right?"

"Nah, I'm right all the time. You just won't admit it. What's weird is me telling someone as obsessive as you to be more proactive."

"No. You know what's really weird?"

"What?"

"Ron Stoppable used the word proactive."

"Had a prof last year who liked it. It was, like, if he couldn't use it three times in a class his spirit was crushed."

After the call Kim stared at her phone for a few minutes. The idea of initiating a contact was a little scary. And she didn't have a lot of time. "What's the risk to benefit ratio," she asked herself – using a phrase one of her economics professors liked.

Taking a deep breath she scrolled through the short list of her contacts on the app.

Ann P: Shego?

Xandy: What?

Ann P: I need a favor.

Xandy: Drop dead.

Ann P: I'm serious

Xandy: You think I'm not?

Ann P: C'mon. Just a couple
questions for old time's sake.

Xandy: Our old times are
trying to take each other's
heads off.

Ann P: Just a couple
questions.

Xandy: Fine. What?

Ann P: Could we meet
at the coffee shop? Easier
to talk face to face.

Xandy: This gonna be
another of your blackmail
threats?

Ann P: No. Just a couple
questions. This is a PLEASE.

Xandy: *Sigh* you're paying
for coffee. and a muffin or
something.

Ann P: Fine. When works
for you? I can do 3:00 any
day.

Xandy: Wednesday.

Ann P: Thanx. See you.

Kim saw Shego sitting as she went in. The older woman waved her over and handed her a slip of paper. "My order."

Kim glanced at the note. "The most expensive items they have?"

"Well, duh."

"I guess I should be grateful it's a coffee place and not a steak house."

Shego actually chuckled, "Maybe next time. You owe me, Princess."

Kim waved the note, "After this?"

"Even after that."

Kim returned to the booth with their orders ten minutes later. Shego broke off a piece of lemon poppy-seed scone and popped it in her mouth while Kim settled in and took a sip from her own mocha. "Okay, Pumpkin, what do you need to know? The answer is forty-two."

"Forty-two?"

"You aren't going to ask me the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?"

"No. I know you use the Women-4-Women™ app. Ron said I'm too passive, I need to be proactive and since you–"

"Wait, Stoppable said proactive? Seriously? Or are you translating?"

"It was a buzz word for some prof. But, I know, weird."

"Yeah, and the odds of him being right? You aren't using the app?"

"Well, I've been contacted – like by you. I'm busy and–"

"What's the fucking point of having the app if you aren't going to use it?"

"I am using it – to let women contact me."

"And how many have?"

"Not counting you... Three."

"Any winners?"

"One was nice, but we really didn't click."

"And two duds?"

"One dud. One was... weird."

Shego raised an eyebrow, "Wanna hear a real dud?"

"Sure."

"A woman I went out with is an insurance salesman. She's uses the app to make contacts."

Kim laughed, "And you contacted her?"

"Nah, she contacted me. I have women contact me, but I send out more requests."

"How often? What's your success rate?"

"You're a nosy thing."

"I'm trying to figure out how much time to invest in reading profiles. I'm busy with classes and don't have much time. How many woman have you contacted since we met?"

"I didn't know there was gonna be a test... I didn't count... Last couple months... I've probably sent out more than a dozen 'Hi, want to meet me?' notes. Maybe seven responses. Got a couple serious strikes against me and three is the most dates I've had with any one person – but got a woman now who could be a winner – date number four this weekend."

"Strikes against you?"

"I look like a goth chick. I'm not. But it scares some people off. I won't talk about my past and wear an ankle monitor so women figure I'm in a witness protection or something. You don't have those problems. Hey, there're women on the app claiming to be you – contact them. Give 'em a thrill."

"No thanks. Thanks for the info, I'll start to make connections... Next semester."