I don't own Dragon Age, or its characters, but it looks like Bioware is being gutted. So who knows, maybe one day I will. In the meantime, I just own my OCs.
Chapter 12
Halia POV
By midday, we reached Val Chevin. The city was smaller and far less ostentatious than Val Royeaux, but there were still nobles and high class merchants strutting about like self-important peacocks. They reacted accordingly with varying degrees of shock and fear as we rode past.
The ship and its crew were waiting for us in the harbor. Everything had already been set up. It was simply a matter of boarding the vessel, stabling the horses down in the hold, setting down our things in our rooms, and then we were off again. This time, back across the Waking Sea towards the Frostbacks.
For whatever reason, probably Leliana or Josephine's doing, we were the only passengers on the ship, and so we all got our own rooms. Except for the prisoner. He got to stay with Soren and Carl, who agreed to bunk together to guard the prisoner. I had a feeling that Charter would end up forgoing her own room as well to stay with the three of them. She seemed the type to want to keep an eye on things herself.
After setting down my rucksack in my room, I made a little spot for Felros on the bed with a few extra blankets. He eagerly jumped up there and immediately fell asleep. I gave him a few scratches behind his ears, and then left the room.
I made my way upstairs to the deck and settled against the railing. I watched the city fade away slowly in the distance. Gulls swooped overhead, squawking as they went, and the crisp breeze smelled of salt. The waves were calm for now, and I let my gaze aimlessly wander the horizon.
I had always liked the sea. Even as a child. When I was young, I would often fantasize about being a pirate on the high seas, taking plunder and riches from wherever I wanted. Exploring and adventuring wherever the wind would take me. They were nice dreams. But I knew well enough to know that it wasn't meant for me.
"I had a feeling that I would find you here."
I resisted the urge to stiffen my spine. Instead, I kept my body posture languid and relaxed as I leaned against the railing.
"It's a beautiful day, and the weather is good. Where else would I be?" I said lightly, briefly glancing over at Solas as he joined me. "Our last voyage across, we were confined to our rooms because of the storms."
"Indeed. It is best to seize these moments of calm where they may be found," Solas agreed. "Who knows when they will come again?"
I turned my head away from the waves to look at him carefully. Solas had a slightly pinched look on his face, and his complexion was a bit paler than before. Was the Dread Wolf seasick?
"What are you doing up here, Solas?" I asked. "If you don't feel well, you should rest down below."
Solas shot me a sharp, annoyed look.
"You are one to talk," he retorted. "Technically, you are the one who needs rest the most. I am not the one who was pierced twice with raw, red lyrium."
"True," I conceded. "But I'm also not the one who looks like they're about to hurl."
"Fenhedis lasa," he hissed under his breath.
A shocked laugh burst out of me, and I slapped a hand over my mouth. I snickered behind my hand at the affronted look on his slightly green face. He really did look nauseous. Poor Dread Wolf.
"If I was going to suck your dick, it wouldn't be when you're about to throw up on me," I teased, struggling to school my face into a more serious expression. "No offense."
"I… apologize. I am not used to travelling by sea. The last trip I had spent in the Fade, and I was able to avoid the side effects," he explained, swallowing thickly. "I took a potion that should help."
I chewed my lip for a moment as I considered. Fen'Harel or not, seasickness was always miserable. Whoever he was, Solas was still my friend. At least, I considered him thus.
I took pity on him.
"Potions aren't all that helpful. Here. Face forward," I tapped his chin, directing his head towards the water. "Keep your sight on the horizon, and deep breaths. Your body will get used to it over time."
I stepped behind him and placed my hands on his shoulders, just below his neck. I felt his body stiffen under my touch, felt the muscles tighten. I flicked the back of his head.
"Relax," I scolded. "Do you want me to help you, or do you want to throw up and dehydrate yourself?"
"What are you doing?" There was a slight waver in his voice that made me pause.
"It's a soothing spell," I explained slowly. "It'll help relax your muscles, and your mind will have an easier time adjusting the sea's motions." A thought occurred to me, and I lifted my hands. "If it bothers you to be touched, then I won't. It's just a little more effective that way."
"No, it is fine. I was just not expecting it," he replied. "Please continue?"
"Alright," I murmured and placed my hands back on his shoulders. I began to cast, shaping my magic into a modified soothing spell, and it flowed out from my fingertips into his skin.
I heard Solas suck in a breath and then exhale shakily a moment later. Gently, I kneaded at his shoulders and the base of his neck over his coat without applying any real pressure. The action itself simply helped direct the spell. My mother used to do this for me when she took me out on the water. Over time, I no longer needed it, but I still remembered how to do it.
"Better?" I asked after a couple of minutes.
Solas cleared his throat. "Yes, much better. Thank you."
I lifted my hands and stepped back to the railing. Solas did look a little better. At least, he no longer looked so green. Progress.
Of all the things I could have anticipated for this year, a seasick Fen'Harel was not one of them.
"No problem," I said, feeling more than a little amused. "What brought you up here?"
"I had a question that I wanted to ask you," he admitted.
"Yeah?"
"The incident with the illusion this morning, I wondered," Solas began. "Such artifacts hail from the ancient elvhen, but to my knowledge, they were never used in such a manner. I was curious if humanity often repurposed elvhen artifacts for purposes that were not the original."
I raised my eyebrows at him.
"You want to know if humans have gotten creative with more of our ancestor's stuff," I said in disbelief. "Are you… serious?"
Solas frowned. "If I wasn't serious, would I ask?"
"You haven't spent much time with humans, have you?" I said, more to myself than to him. Of course he hadn't. He came from a time before humans had even arrived in Thedas. Their homeland was far to the north beyond this continent. At that time, there had been little to no contact between our peoples.
He hesitated. "I admit, I have not. I usually keep myself at a distance from others. Much of my knowledge of them comes from the Fade, and it is not complimentary."
"You mean, they seem like brutish, warmongering thugs?"
Solas inclined his head in a nod. "Essentially, yes."
I snorted and turned around to lean my back against the railing. A few members of the crew milled about the deck, working on one task or another. As I suspected, all of the crew that I saw were human.
"They definitely can be that way," I said softly, barely above a whisper. "I don't like humans any more than the next elf, but I admit that they are more than that. I should know, I've spent most of my life around them."
I sighed and turned to meet Solas's gaze. "To answer your question, yes. Humans have repurposed a lot of old elvhen artifacts. The Imperium hoards most of them. Some artifacts, like sending stones, they even figured out how to make more of."
"Interesting. I did not know they had such capabilities," Solas murmured to himself, a troubled frown between his brows.
I looked at him sharply as a horrible thought occurred to me. He really didn't know, he didn't understand. How could he? Humanity must seem so foreign to him. Somehow Corypheus had gotten his hands on Fen'Harel's power. Had it been an accident? Had it been forced? Had it been allowed?
Judging by Solas's reaction, one thing was clear: he had miscalculated somewhere. Humanity had surprised him, and not in the good way.
"Solas, look at me," I commanded suddenly. I had to make him see, or at least try to.
He turned to me, still frowning.
"Do not underestimate humans," I said emphatically. "There's a reason why they conquered Elvhenan, and kept the People under their heels ever since. And it wasn't just because we lost our connection to the Fade. It's because they're resourceful, resilient, and shockingly smart when they want to be.
"The elvhen underestimated them. Even fallen as our people were, our power was still greater than theirs. Humanity found a way to beat us. The Dalish kingdom was the same way. Arrogant, prideful. Towards the end, they thought they didn't need to cultivate alliances with their neighbors. Our armies were the best in Thedas, our cities were the best, and humans still found a way to beat us. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"
Solas regarded me with clear curiosity.
"I think I do," he replied after a moment. He looked out over the waves again, his expression even more troubled than before. "Thank you for telling me this. There is much that I endeavor to learn, and I readily admit that there are gaps in my knowledge. I welcome any insight that you might share."
He met my gaze with a sudden intensity in his gray- violet gaze. In that moment, standing before me with that sharp, frightfully intelligent look in those tilted, wolf-like eyes, there was no doubt in my mind that I was speaking with Fen'Harel. Shaved or not, I could see it in him. I saw him.
My heart raced in my chest, and I couldn't look away.
"All you have to do is ask," I replied without thinking. "All I have is yours too, you know."
The intensity in his gaze and expression softened, and his features warmed as a gentle smile tugged at his lips. Slowly, he reached up and ever so tenderly stroked my cheek. I stood frozen, spellbound by his touch and the look in his eyes. My stomach fluttered and flipped, and I felt my face burn.
He quite literally had me in the palm of his hand.
"In all my journeys through the Fade, I have never known any like you," he whispered. There was such a depth of warmth and affection in his voice that it took my breath away. "Thank you, my friend."
I swallowed and continued to stare, dumbstruck. Try as I might, I couldn't think of single thing to say. My mind was perfectly blank. All I could do was to nod dumbly.
He stepped closer. My heart skipped a beat.
"I will see you later, Halia."
Then he brushed past me and walked away. I sucked in a breath and turned on wobbly knees. My hand reached out to brace myself on the railing, and I watched him go. His hands were clasped behind his back, and he strode forward with such an elegance and grace. He stepped down the stairs and disappeared into the ship's hold.
Damn it. I was in trouble.
I already knew it, but this simply confirmed my worry. I had to talk to Hallen. Now. Right now.
I glanced around. It was barely past midday. It would be hours until nightfall when I could acceptably go to sleep. And Hallen was probably awake still at this time. Unless… I was still technically healing. No one would bat an eye if I were to 'rest' for a few hours. And I would get Hallen's attention regardless of whether he was awake or not.
I followed Solas's path down into the hold, and I made my way to my room. I undressed quickly, only bothering with my chainmail and leathers, and I laid on the bed beside Felros.
Usually I would simply ease into sleep, but I was too on edge to go down easily. This would be uncomfortable, but I saw no other way. I cast a sleep spell on myself, and the waking world faded away.
I wasted no time once the shifting plains of the Fade appeared to me. I thought of Hallen and willed the Fade to bring me to him.
His dreamscape did not appear. But I could sense his presence in the waking world. I drew closer to his presence and carefully, carefully slipped through the Veil.
It was always a nerve wracking experience to Slip, at least for me. The Veil was such a complex, interconnected mess of vibrating, runic matrices. It gave me a headache if I looked at it all for too long. Finding a spot that I could ease through was always tricky.
Finally, after a few moments, I saw a small space open up. It was miniscule, but it was enough. I willed my form to be malleable, shapeless. I pressed myself against the gap, and slipped right through.
An airy study room appeared before me. Sunlight came beating through a series of open windows, and loose white curtains fluttered in a breeze. Rows upon rows of bookcases lined the room, each laden with tomes and scrolls. I heard the rapid scribbling of a quill against parchment, and I turned.
Hallen.
He was just as I remembered him, except the furrows between his marked brows were deeper, and his long blonde hair was unkempt. He stood bent over a large, opulent desk with stacks of disorganized papers strewn about, and frantically wrote on one before folding it, sealing it with wax, and then moving on to the next.
He looked distressed. I stepped closer.
Had something happened?
His head snapped up, bright golden eyes narrowing as he scanned the room. Hallen's upper lip twitched in an annoyed snarl, and he lay the quill down and straightened.
I gave a short but familiar whistle. His eyes lit up with recognition, and his posture relaxed a little. He gave a small, frustrated huff and shook his head, and then he turned and strode away.
There. He got the message. He would be annoyed, but not for long. Not with what I had to say.
I slipped back into the Fade, reconfigured my form, and waited.
Hardly a moment later, Hallen appeared before me with a deep scowl on his face.
"I get that this is a bad time, but I-"
In two strides, Hallen closed the distance and scooped me up in a tight hug. The familiar scents of cinnamon, citrus, and cloves surrounded me. I felt the tremble in his chest vibrate through me, and my heart dropped.
"You're a fucking idiot," he ground out thickly in my ear. "Do you have any idea how worried I was?"
I laughed humorlessly. "I have some idea," I said, tightening my own arms around his much larger frame.
We stayed like that for what could have been minutes or hours. Finally, Hallen pulled back and looked me over with wild, searching eyes.
"Is this how you really look?" he questioned. "I heard about the red lyrium, and the fight. Are you still hurt? Infected?"
"Yes, and then no to the last two," I replied. "I'm fine, Hallen. I promise."
Golden eyes flashed, and Hallen's scowl deepened.
"The last time you said that, you'd been disemboweled," he said flatly. "I watched you stuff your guts back in. Do not tell me you're fine. Tell me the truth. I'll find out anyway."
"I am telling you the truth, you big oaf!" I yelled. "I'm fully healed, and I'm not infected. I am literally fine. Anyway, that's not what I came here to say."
"Right, because gods forbid you tell me that you're okay. That's just crazy talk," Hallen spat. "Who am I? I'm just your brother. It's not like I had to find out about the Conclave explosion, the Breach, the new Inquisition, or you being the Herald of Andraste by accident. I sent Ashivan to the Conclave, and when I searched for her body, guess who I found instead?"
My jaw dropped and I backed away. "Ashivan is dead?"
Pain and grief shone through his golden eyes, and his mouth twisted downwards.
"Vaporized by the explosion," he said simply and rubbed at his face with his hands. "We held a vigil for her last month. We would have invited you, but you're impossible to reach these days."
Ashivan. We had never been friends exactly. She had always been so aloof, so serious, but we had worked well together in the Order of the Emerald Knights. There had been a mutual respect between us. I remembered her face well, remembered her silver hair, blue eyes, and delicate features. She had reminded me of a porcelain doll, if porcelain dolls could kill with a thousand tiny knives.
The best of my hand to hand combat skills had come from her. Her grace and precision were legendary. And now she was dead.
Just like that, another elvhen gone.
I swallowed down the lump in my throat. I might not have been close with Ashivan, but Hallen had been. The shadows under his eyes stood out to me more than before, and I noticed the slight redness in the sclera.
"Shit," I breathed, before surging forward to wrap my arms around Hallen's middle. "I'm so sorry, Hallen. I should have reached out to you. I just thought… doesn't matter. I'm an idiot."
"Yes, you are," he muttered, his voice muffled by my hair. He squeezed me tighter before pulling back. "It's okay. You had your own world-ending crisis to deal with."
"How are you? I know that you and Ashivan were close friends," I asked softly.
Hallen hesitated for a moment, then shook his head.
"Some days are better than others," he said lowly. "I keep thinking to reach out for her in the Fade, and then I remember. You know how it is." He sighed. "I will be fine. In time. I'm just relieved that you are alright. I don't know what I would've…"
He broke off suddenly and then looked away.
"You had something to tell me," Hallen said roughly, his voice wavering with emotion. "What was it?"
My heart ached for my little brother. I still remembered when he'd been a tiny thing, and I could carry him around and shield him. Now, he stood two heads above me. Long gone were the days when I could shield him from pain, be it physical or emotional. He was an adult, a powerful leader among our people, and I could no longer make it all better.
Sometimes, I needed to be reminded of that.
"It…" This time, I hesitated. How does one say something like this?
Simply, Halia. Simply.
"Fen'Harel has returned. And I know who he is."
There it was, out in the open. Inwardly, I cringed at my bluntness, but I didn't know how else to say it.
Hallen looked as though I'd thrown ice water on his head. His shocked and flabbergasted expression lasted only a few seconds before the shift happened. Something sparked behind his golden eyes, and his face grew cold and serious. His eyes narrowed as he considered my words. The emotion was gone, locked away. I was now looking at Vathallen, the master of shadows.
"I will need a bit more than that, Halia," he replied evenly.
I sighed. There was nothing for it. Here goes.
"Over a year ago, Felassan came to me and said that Fen'Harel was waking up, that he was calling out across the Fade," I began steadily, with far more calm than I felt. "Then, after the Conclave explosion when I helped stabilize the Breach, I felt the presence of Fen'Harel's magic inside it. Through it all, there was only one person who had any idea what was going on and how to fix it."
"Solas," Hallen interjected. He nodded to himself. "Yes, I did think it odd how easily he soothed your Mark, and how much he knew. When I tried to find out more about him through the Fade, I got nothing but vague whispers."
His gaze refocused on me. "You think that Fen'Harel is responsible for the explosion and the Breach?"
"I think he is involved, but I don't know how," I admitted. "When I met with the Oracle of Val Royeaux, she refused to tell me one way or another. Which I thought-"
"Wait a minute," Hallen interrupted, frowning. "You spoke with Fate? Why would you do that?"
I blinked in confusion at the aggression in his tone.
"Because you've told me about her, Hallen," I said slowly, cautiously. "Many times. Surely you remember?"
"Yes, but I…" he broke off and pinched the bridge of his nose. After a moment, he dropped his hand and spoke again, calmly this time, "I suppose I never explained myself fully. You never took her mention seriously before. I have a very specific system when it comes to the Oracle. There's a reason why I don't consult her for everything."
That did not sound good.
"What do you mean?"
A pit grew in my stomach. Where was this going?
"She lies. Often," Hallen said with a scowl. "It took me a few years to figure her out. Like you, I took what she said at face value in the beginning. Then I realized her game."
"Game?"
Hallen nodded. "I learned that in the time of Elvhenan, she had been Mythal's creature. Her pet, if you will. She would tell our grandmother everything, every outcome of every choice for thousands of years. Until one day, Fate told her something that apparently threw grandmother into a rage. Little more than ten years later, Mythal was killed."
"And the Veil was created," I finished with a whisper. My eyes snapped to his suddenly. "And she hasn't told the truth since? Is that it?"
"Sort of. She'll tell the truth," he replied. "But she'll shade it, twist it, and hide within the truth a lie. This is how she gets people to do what she wants in the way she couldn't with Mythal. Fate has been quietly steering the course of Orlais for centuries. Before Orlais, it was Tevinter. And before that…"
"Elvhenan," I supplied with a grimace. "How did you find this all out?"
Hallen snorted.
"Slowly. Very fucking slowly," he said with a sigh. "If she refused to answer you, then it means you asked a question she didn't want you to ask. You being suspicious about Fen'Harel is a path she doesn't like."
I rubbed at my temples. "So, if she lies all the time, why do you bother listening to her at all? That sounds exhausting."
"Because she's valuable," Hallen said simply. "Whatever lies she'll feed you, there's always some element of truth. Something to be gained."
Hallen began to pace around me in the empty plain. I watched him curiously, watched as the Fade warped slightly around him as he went. He chewed at the inside of his mouth as he paced.
"So, Fen'Harel is back, he is behind the Breach somehow, and Fate doesn't want anyone to know," he listed to himself thoughtfully. "Interesting. Did she say anything else? Any instructions?"
"She said to stay close to Solas at all times. She," I hesitated.
Honesty, Halia. He's no longer a child.
"She said I am going to die soon if I don't."
Hallen stopped his pacing and slowly turned towards me. His eyes widened and he rubbed his fingers together in agitation. His lip twitched, and then he made a noise of disgust.
"Then obey her."
I raised my eyebrows. "That simple?"
"Yeah," he said with a clearly unhappy look. "For now, at least. Fate only ever gives suggestions. If she gives a command, it's serious. Although…"
Something shifted in his expression, and I watched in fascination as his mind worked before me. Hallen always did love a good puzzle. As children, I would find puzzle boxes for him to play with. With the fallout of the Veil's creation, there was no shortage of toys, tools, and other items just lying around, the owners long dead. Puzzles had been his favorite, and instruments had been mine.
"Fen'Harel is back," he mused, his golden eyes distant. "I've always wondered what disguise he would take when he returned. I did not anticipate a hermit apostate."
He looked at me.
"Does he know about you? Who you are?"
My stomach twisted unpleasantly as I remembered the day before. I hadn't realized I was speaking to Fen'Harel. I'd given him all the pieces. If he was half as smart as the legends claimed, then he already knew.
He had called me Halia, I realized. For weeks, Solas had chosen to call me Mahalia. But the day after the attack, he called me Halia again, and he hadn't stopped.
"He knows. But I don't think that he knows that I know," I admitted, feeling more than a little unsettled. "I'd hoped you might have some idea of what I should do."
He frowned. "Normally I'd tell you to leave and come to Rivain, but I know that's impossible," he huffed. "If Fate says that Fen'Harel will save your life, then do as she says. Be close to him, make him trust you. If you weren't my sister, I'd tell you to seduce him."
My face burned. "I'm not going to play pretend to seduce him, Hallen. That never ends well."
Hallen fixed me with a penetrating stare. I stared back.
"If you did, would you be pretending?"
This time, I felt the heat move to my neck and ears. My tongue felt heavy in my mouth, and I couldn't think of a suitable thing to say.
"That's what I thought. You forget that I've been watching you for weeks," Hallen said smugly. "But no, there are other ways to gain his trust. Since you can't leave, that's your best option. You're already companions. Become his close friend, his confidante. I know you excel at that when you care to."
"That's it?"
"For now," he said with a slight grimace. "There have been a lot of whispers in the shadows lately. Most of them are emanating from Tevinter. Interesting coincidence that's where your assassins came from."
I hesitated again. I didn't want to trouble him further, didn't want to involve him in this fight. But what could I do? He was already involved. Me not telling him would just make things worse.
"Corypheus," I blurted out before I could lose the nerve. Hallen raised his furrowed brows at me.
"Corypheus is most likely the source of those whispers," I continued. "Or at least, one of the main voices. Whatever influence the Dread Wolf had in the explosion, Corypheus is the one who executed it."
"Corypheus." Hallen said the name slowly, as though he was pulling more from his memory. "He was one of the blighted magisters you helped imprison during the First Blight. Interesting that he managed to get out. You are sure about all this?"
"His voice is not one I'd easily forget," I replied grimly. "That's not all, Hallen. I believe I uncovered one of his captains. A Kirkwall templar by the name of Samson. He orchestrated the attack in Val Royeaux. I would have sought him out in the Dreaming, but he's infested with red lyrium."
A smile appeared at the edges of Hallen's mouth, and then suddenly, he started laughing. His shoulders shook, and he shielded his face with his hand.
"Ah, this is just like you," he chuckled. "Disappear for years on end and then reemerge with a wagonload of world-shattering information. I should have known."
Despite everything, I smiled back at him. I did have a tendency to do just that. It didn't help that Thedas had some kind of world-ending crisis every ten years.
"If I don't bring all the bad news, who will?" I joked. "It's lonely being the harbinger of the fifty-seventh end of the world."
Hallen snorted. "Only fifty-seven for all time? That's far too low. I had twelve to deal with just last week."
We stared at each other for a beat, and then both of us started to laugh. Hallen opened his arms, and I stepped forward to embrace him again. I breathed in his familiar, comforting scent, and a little bit of tension eased in my chest.
"Thank you for coming to me, Halia," he whispered. "I imagine this must all be overwhelming to you."
"Just a bit," I admitted. "It could be worse though."
"Hmm, maybe but…" Hallen stiffened suddenly, and I felt him turn his head. "There's a wolf at the door."
Half a beat later, I felt Solas's presence press against my barrier. I pulled away and stepped back. What was he doing here? Solas never sought me out in the Fade. Was this to be a confrontation, or an interrogation? Something else? He knew about me, but did he know that I knew?
The Fade was private and secluded from our companions. What could he want to say to me here?
"You should go," I said to Hallen. He glanced at me sharply. "If he sees you, he'll have questions. Better to meet him on your terms, not his."
Hallen pursed his lips, and his gaze became distant and contemplative. I felt a pit of unease build in my stomach. What was there to think about right now? Hallen had to go now. His presence would just bring up more questions that I wasn't ready to answer.
Then, something in his expression shifted, and a devious grin tugged at his mouth. My stomach dropped. This was not good.
"Nah, I think I'll stay," Hallen said, shaking his head. He backed away from me. "These aren't his terms yet, they're ours. This is still our world, and I want to get the measure of him. It's only a matter of time before he notices my surveillance in the Fade. Besides, his reaction to me here will be telling, won't it?"
It would be telling. Apart from my hair color and a few similarities in face, I did not much resemble my father, or his relatives. But Hallen… even with the black vallaslin, he looked exactly like June. The straight golden hair, the bright gold eyes, the sharp yet symmetrical facial features, all of it was identical to June.
It had been so long since we had met anyone who remembered what our father looked like. Felassan remembered Elgar'nan, but he had never met June. But Fen'Harel, Solas, he had known them all.
"Hallen, no," I hissed. "Don't! You cannot antagonize him."
"Pfft, antagonize him? I'm not going to do that. Do you think I'm crazy?" Hallen scoffed at me. "I'm just going to say 'hello'."
He grinned broadly at me, and there was a wildness in his golden eyes that made me uneasy. Whatever he was planning to do, he was excited about it.
"I'm starting to think you are," I snapped. "This is stupid. I'm waking up."
"Halia." His voice rung through the air like a whip crack, and his expression turned serious. "Do you think I got to where I am by accident?"
I frowned at him.
Of course I didn't think that. Hallen was smart, careful, and methodical. When he acted boldly, it was because he'd already thought through the consequences. He already knew what he stood to lose, and to gain. In war, I was much the same way. The battlefield was my domain. But in the shadows, Hallen was the expert.
But that did not make him immune to mistakes. I had cleaned up more than a few of his mistakes in the past. But then again, he had done the same for me.
"I just…" I started, then stopped. "I don't want you and him to-"
"I know, Halia," he interrupted me with a soft look. "Don't worry. If it goes wrong, you and I have the advantage. We can take him. Either way, we will have a better idea of what we're dealing with. A very useful thing."
I felt another prodding at the barrier, still gentle but no less insistent. I sighed. I was getting too old for these games. But needs must. This was foolish, even by my standards.
"Fine," I huffed. "But if this goes wrong, I'm ending it."
Hallen rolled his eyes and then backed further away. "Make a forest. One with a lot of shadows and foliage."
I made a rude gesture with my hand, but I did as he said. Around us, a thick, dark forest sprang to life with massive trees the size of giant towers. The ground beneath our feet was rough and uneven. A light fog settled among the trunks, and the blue-green glow of veilfire dimly lit the space.
"One of the deep valleys of the Frostback Basin. Nice," Hallen commented wistfully. "Let him in."
Hallen's form disappeared, but I could still sense his presence. I felt him fly upwards towards one of the trees, and then his presence dimmed and lessened.
With a sigh, I opened a doorway in the barrier, and waited. I did not wait long.
Solas's dreaming form materialized before me. He looked much like he normally did, except that the way he held himself was a bit straighter and a bit more relaxed. After Charter's commentary, I could no longer unsee the way he held himself. Solas was… elegant, downright graceful, and yet there was an edge. In the Fade, somehow all of that seemed amplified.
I felt my heart quicken in my chest, and I willed my dreaming form to relax.
If I acted suspicious, Solas would know that something was wrong. He knew what I was, but he still chose not to reveal himself to me. I could hardly blame him, as I was doing the same thing. But I was not Fen'Harel. I did not know what game he was playing, and I disliked shadow games in general.
But I'd be damned if I was the one to lose.
"Is everything alright, Solas?" I asked lightly.
"You did not come to the mess for supper," he replied. "Cassandra said she found you asleep. I thought I might check on you. Is this a bad time?"
Right. That sounded normal. Except for the fact that this was the first time Solas intentionally visited me in the Fade. Apart from the incident with the beacon.
The beacon.
That little…
I bit my tongue a little harder than I should have. Anything to hold back a scream.
He had been right there. I had set out the lure, and Fen'Harel had taken it. He had been right there, right in front of me, and I hadn't seen it. He could have presented himself wrapped in a giant red bow and with a sign around his neck that said "I'M FEN'HAREL", and I would have tripped over him.
Hallen was right. I am an idiot.
Solas POV
She had not come to supper. Cassandra mentioned that she found her fast asleep in her room, and she had left her there. It was reasonable. Regardless of what Halia insisted, she was still healing from her injuries. Sleep was essential.
And yet, I could not shake the feeling of disquiet, of agitation. Apart from Agent Charter, who still guarded the assassin, all of us had huddled around the same table to eat together. Except for Halia. This should not have bothered me, and yet it did.
Halia was the only one I wanted to talk to. Varric was an interesting enough conversationalist, and he did make the effort to include me. Cassandra was pleasant enough as well. For all her religious zeal, she was respectful, even downright curious. And yet, my mind consistently went back to her, back to Halia.
Even before I rediscovered her identity, my thoughts were often about her. She was impossible to ignore. But now? Now, I craved her presence. I craved the little enigmatic flickers of layered emotions that flashed across her eyes, I craved the twitches around her mouth that exploded unexpectedly into sunny grins, but most of all, I craved her voice, her words, her thoughts. In a grim, broken world surrounded by grey, flat shadows, Halia was a burst of light, a kaleidoscope of color that I sorely missed.
This fact grew even more obvious to me as I sat among the other Inquisition members. They were decent people, good people even. And yet, I sensed that there was little I could connect with any of them about. I was so far from them in… everything, and they from me.
The longer I sat there, the more agitated I became. The food tasted like greasy ash, and it sat uncomfortably in my stomach. I listened to the conversations flow around me, but I contributed little. It all just felt so hollow.
I all but shoved down the rest of the tasteless stew and hard biscuits, and I excused myself before anyone else. Varric called out a goodnight for me as I walked away, but he was the only one. It did not matter. I could no longer sit there peacefully.
I considered simply going straight to my room. There were still a few hours left before my usual bedtime, and I had yet to finish my book on the history of the Circles. Yet, as I stood before my door, I hesitated to enter. Halia's room was two doors down.
An impulsive thought slipped through my mind. I should check on her.
By all rights, I was the healer who patched her up. It was perfectly reasonable for me to check on her.
I will never leave you again.
I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment and sighed. I knew that Halia was likely fine, simply tired. Yet, it was as good of an excuse as any. I had to see her. Just for a moment.
I found myself before her door, and I entered without hindrance.
Her form lay stretched out on the bed, unmoving except for the steady rise and fall of her chest. Felros lay curled up beside her, but he woke when he noted my presence. He eyed me with sleepy curiosity for a moment before lowering his head back down. His yellow eyes fell shut again.
She did not stir as I approached.
That in itself was odd. Halia was a light sleeper. For all her talent and skill as a Dreamer, she did not act like one. Apart from that one night with the beacon, her presence was undetectable in the Fade, and she roused from sleep as fast Master Tethras, or any other Child of the Stone.
There had been a handful of instances when bandits had attacked our camp in the Hinterlands. During two of those incidents, I had been the one on watch at the time, the one to sound the alarm. Both times, and the others, Halia was the first to wake. She would spring from her tent in an instant, fully dressed but unarmored, lightning sparking down her body and through her iron sword, and completely alert.
But now, Halia remained asleep as I stepped forward. The low creaks of the boards beneath my feet did not rouse her. Then, I saw it.
Beneath her eyelids, her eyes flickered swiftly back and forth. She was in the Fade. She was dreaming. But of what?
A sudden urge to touch her face came over me, to trace the sharp yet delicate line of her jaw. I quelled it instantly. She was asleep. It was a bad enough trespass for me to be in here while she lay before me, completely unaware of my presence as she wandered the Fade.
And yet, I couldn't quite summon the will to turn around and leave.
She was so beautiful.
I had seen her asleep before. She rested fitfully, twitching and turning by the campfire. That night at the Inn had been the same. From time to time, she would even wake up for moment, adjust her position, and then fall back asleep instantly. Asleep or awake, she never stopped moving.
But now, apart from her eyes that betrayed her dreaming state, she was completely motionless. The lines of her body were finally relaxed. Her expression was peaceful.
Not for the first time, I couldn't help but acknowledge to myself how lovely she was, scarred and marked or not. Though I could see traces of June in the straight, longer nose and the sharp chin, the rest of her was unlike any of the other Evanuris.
Her cheekbones were prominent and high, but there was a softness there that rounded out the harsh lines. Her wide-set eyes were fringed with thick, blonde lashes. Her mouth was… luscious. Full, plump, rosy lips that lay just ever so slightly open as she slept.
Halia was not the most arresting beauty I had ever seen. Over the many millennia, I had known women far more comely, women who were considered perfect even by the near-impossible standards of elvhen beauty. Mythal had been perfect. Every physical feature of hers had been delicate, completely symmetrical, and unearthly. There were times when I thought she resembled a statuette of spun glass. In her loveliness, Mythal had been ethereal, and her daughters had been much the same.
Halia was not perfect. Even without the vallaslin and the scars that marred her face, she would never be perfect. I could almost hear Sylaise's spiteful commentary in my ear as though she were standing beside me, and Andruil's obnoxious snickering as the insults piled higher and higher.
Her nose was too long, her mouth too big, her jaw too harsh, her eyes too dark, her teeth too crooked, her hair too wild, her ears too long and they stuck out to the sides too much. The list of supposed flaws that Sylaise would pick at would have been endless. Naturally, Andruil would have been quick to join in as well, and Falon'din would have followed soon after. Tearing others down had been one of their favorite pastimes.
Objectively, all of those statements were technically true. Halia's looks were unconventional, and yet, combined together, they made up a beauty that was unique and impossible to ignore. Harsh yet soft, sharp yet gentle. If she had been perfect, I would have had an easier time looking away from her. And yet, it was not her face that truly compelled me, but the soul that animated it.
A loud huff broke me out of my thoughts. Felros stared me from where he lay on the bed. There was an annoyed look in his yellow eyes that seemed to ask, "Are you going to stand there all night?"
My mouth quirked into a small smile, and I reached over to scratch behind his ears. Felros let out whining groan of bliss at the attention and pushed further into my hand. My smile grew. For a wild creature, he was unusually content to act like a lapdog in Halia's presence.
I pulled away, and my hand momentarily hovered over Halia. Her eyebrows had pulled together in a frown before smoothing back out, and my attention fell to the thick, black lines of vallaslin that bunched and shifted as her face moved then settled.
Mythal… Why had she done this to her? Why had this been done to begin with? I had always known that Mythal had a capacity for ruthlessness. It was what had allowed her to become such an accomplished general, then a queen, and then finally a 'goddess'. The second head of the Evanuris. If she hadn't been thus, she would have folded under Elgar'nan and the others in an instant.
I had learned much from her ruthlessness, and how readily she could cast aside her heart for the greater good. Such things were necessary in war, and in ruling.
But this? Why? Halia had been a child. More than that, she had been little more than an infant when Mythal had worked with June to place these bonds upon her. She had possessed all the power and opportunity in the world to raise her, to mold her into an ally, or at the very least an asset.
And if she had been such a threat as to warrant a binding, why had she not simply killed her? It would not have been the first time she had done such a thing.
Why?
I knew that I would never receive an answer. Mythal was long dead. The pieces of her that remained were scattered, limited, and even more secretive than she had been in life. The witch Flemeth, who had bound herself to the largest piece, would likely answer in a cryptic riddle before laughing at me. It was useless.
I pulled my hand back to my side and stepped away. Halia continued to sleep peacefully, and the eye movements showed that she continued to dream. What was she dreaming of?
It was still a little early for me, but this was a rare opportunity that I could not waste. I retreated from her room, careful to make as little noise as possible, and I returned to my room and began the process of readying for bed.
Outside, the rhythmic sounds of the sea lapping against the ship echoed through the cabin. Without a window, the rocking felt even more pronounced in this enclosed space than it had on the deck, or even in the mess. Yet, the spell that Halia had cast upon me seemed to take the edge off of my unease.
I made my way over to the small bed that the room provided, and I settled into it quickly. With the seasickness abated, the ship's movements were almost soothing. As usual, it did not take long for me to fall into sleep.
The shifting plains of the Fade appeared before me, and I felt, more than saw, a wealth of old memories surrounding me. Spirits of many kinds flitted to and fro amongst the undulating hills. Out of curiosity, I followed a spirit of Valor as it charged by, and a memory took place before me.
Cobblestones appeared beneath my feet, tall sandstone buildings rose around me, and all around were the sounds of battle. Screams and war cries came from all sides. I watched as crowds of civilians, humans, rushed down the streets. Behind them, soldiers poured through the streets behind them, pursuing the people with weapons drawn.
A young woman tripped and fell. The small boy she had been carrying fell with her. In an instant, the approaching soldiers were on them. I turned away before I could see more. This was not what I had come to the Fade to see tonight.
Blood-curdling screams and cries for mercy rang out from behind me, but I did not turn around. These people were long dead, and I could do nothing for them. Ignoring the painful tightness in my chest, I elevated my form above the red-tiled rooftops. Many of the rooftops were either smashed or burning. I smelt salt on the breeze, and I spotted the expanse of blue.
An island nation. The last voyage, I had spent my time in the Fade conversing with my agents and gathering information. I had not listened to the memories and spirits that had passed right by me.
Unfortunately, tonight would be no different. It was a shame. To my knowledge, there had been no islands in this part of the Waking Sea. Whatever this place was, it no longer existed.
A mystery for another time. Perhaps on the next voyage to Val Chevin I might have the time to explore these long lost memories. I wondered how many other islands had met similar fates in this sea. How many had been completely wiped away?
I pulled myself from the memory and summoned Halia's form in my mind. I could feel her presence in the Fade, and in an instant, I stood before her dreamscape. Like last time, a barrier stood before me, but this one was more solid and opaque than the last one. It was not one that allowed just anyone to cross.
Standing there, I considered the barrier for a few moments. It was a strong one, I had to admit. For a mortal Dreamer, to erect such a barrier would have been impossible. In an emergency, I could breach it. The effort would be costly, but it would be possible, even in my current state.
She truly was strong, I thought to myself with a small smile. I could not help but feel just a little bit proud. I had no right to feel that way, as I had not been the one to train her. Halia had been too young to fully grasp the fundamentals of Dreaming enough to learn. This skill, all of it she had picked up independent of me.
I reached out and pressed the palm of my hand against the barrier. A small shudder rippled across the surface as Halia recognized my presence. And yet, she did not immediately open a way for me.
Curious. Perhaps she was investigating a memory, or perhaps she was meeting with someone. It did not matter, I could wait.
Another shudder rippled across the barrier, and I felt the echoes of an emotion bleed through. Distress.
My brows furrowed as I considered the barrier, this time in alarm. Was something wrong? Was she being hurt somehow? I watched as the barrier continued to quiver before settling into its original, smooth, placid shape.
Despite my mounting concern, I could not help but note this. For all her raw strength and skill, her emotional control was surprisingly low. Was this why she avoided the Fade?
I pressed again against the barrier. For a moment, nothing happened. Then, hesitantly, a doorway appeared in the barrier, and I stepped through.
Instantly, all grew dark, but my eyes adjusted quickly. Around me were enormous trees that stretched so far up, and with impossibly thick branches that intertwined so much, I could not make out the top. Fog was everywhere, but the faint glow of veilfire up ahead drew my gaze. I stepped forward carefully. The ground was more a mess of tree-roots than earth.
I continued forward through the fog. A moment later, Halia came into view. She stood in the middle of a small clearing amidst the giant trees and the mass of roots.
She stood tall and an air of wariness surrounded her. She wore a simple long-sleeved, white tunic, a thick, dark red skirt that swished about her wrapped ankles, and a basic leather belt around her waist. Her golden hair hung in loose waves down her back. The clothing was simple and unassuming, and yet I could not help but admire the subtle ways they enhanced her long, powerful figure.
"Is everything alright, Solas?"
She did not appear unwelcoming, but she did not appear particularly welcoming either. For someone as outwardly expressive as she, Halia was surprisingly stoic. Almost cold.
"You did not come to the mess for supper," I explained. "Cassandra said she found you asleep. I thought I might check on you. Is this a bad time?"
Something in Halia's expression shifted, and a myriad of emotions flowed over her face. Confusion, realization, frustration, anger, and something else that I couldn't quite name. They all came quickly and were gone soon after, replaced by the cracked stoic mask.
"No, not at all," she replied, her voice wavering as she spoke. Despite the calm that she tried to portray, she seemed almost nervous. Something was off.
I stepped towards her. "Are you well?"
Halia chuckled softly. It was more of an anxious sound than one of genuine amusement. She grinned at me with a look of unease about in her dark eyes.
"Yes, sorry, I'm just surprised. It's been a long while since you've visited me in the Fade. I wasn't expecting you."
I felt my eyebrows raise at that. "You are not often in the Fade for me to visit. I was surprised that a Dreamer such as yourself would avoid the Fade entirely. Surely you…"
A feeling of movement somewhere behind me caught my attention, and I suddenly felt a presence. It was up, perhaps in one of the trees? It did not feel like a spirit. Another Dreamer? It must have been there this whole time. Suddenly, Halia's nervousness made a little more sense.
"You did not mention that you had a guest," I said lightly.
Who could this person be? Were they a mortal Dreamer? Perhaps another elvhen? Was it the brother she had spoken of before? Was I intruding?
"Thank the heavens. I was getting tired of this game already," Halia huffed, a rare, irritated edge to her voice. "Hallen! Quit being a little bitch and get down here! Come meet my friend."
I felt another faint stirring of movement in one of the trees behind me. The presence felt like a Dreamer, but the form did not. It slipped and slithered down the tree's trunk. A snake, perhaps?
I turned towards the tree in time to see a massive serpent sliding down the trunk and onto the ground. It was a gigantic thing, at least twice my height in length. Its scales were a bright, burnished gold that glinted eerily in the light of the veilfire, and its slitted eyes glowed a similar color. A curious form for a Dreamer to take.
"I apologize for my brother. He never grew out of playing hide and seek," said Halia.
I glanced at her. "It is alright. I hope I am not intruding on any private conversations."
Halia shook her head. "Not at all."
"You must be Solas, the Dreamer."
I turned towards Hallen, and my heart nearly leap out of my chest in fright. I felt the blood drain from my face, and every muscle in my body tensed at once for battle.
Impossible.
June stared down at me, an amused and slightly victorious glint in his sharp, golden gaze. He grinned in a way that subtly exposed his elongated canines.
No, not June. He never smiled, not once. That smile was all Dirthamen, overly gleeful with too much teeth. No, he could not be June. June was in the prison I had made. I would have felt if the prison had been breached at all. It wasn't him.
Hallen. June had another child. A son. Halia's younger brother. He too bore June's vallaslin in bold black.
My heart continued to beat its painful staccato rhythm, but I forced my limbs to slowly relax. There was no fight here. Not now. Not yet.
"And you must be Hallen," I replied. Somehow, my voice remained even.
Hallen eyed me up and down, a small smirk playing at the edges of his mouth. His golden eyes were unblinking and unsettling as he surveyed me coolly. He clearly noted my unease with his appearance, and he seemed to find it amusing. This was more than a little familiar, but no less disappointing. The Evanuris consistently took pleasure from toying with those they deemed lesser, like a cat that tortures a mouse for hours until its heart gave out. I could see a similar look in his eyes.
"Only to my friends and family," he said, still unblinking as he stared at me. "Vathallen Isthorel to everyone else. But, if my dear sister calls you friend, then you are a friend of mine as well. It is a pleasure to meet you."
He extended his hand towards me. I gripped his forearm automatically in response. This seemed to please him, as he did the same. His smirk grew, but the eyes remained still and cold, predatorial. How coincidental that his chosen form was a serpent. The way he spoke was smooth and outwardly welcoming, but they felt hollow and lacked all warmth.
Vathallen Isthorel. The surname was the same as Halia's original one, which had come from her mother, Zanna Isthorel. Perhaps Zanna had been mother to them both. There was little resemblance where Hallen was concerned. He was an identical twin to his father. The same aquiline nose, the same golden eyes and hair, the same arched brows. There was one scar that sliced across his mouth near the middle, but that and the vallaslin were the only differences. Anyone could have been his mother.
I chanced a quick glance at Halia. She looked… annoyed. Her dark gaze flickered between the two of us. Her eyes met mine, and I saw concern in their depths. She subtly chewed at her bottom lip, and her fingers twitched slightly in agitation. She was worried. For her brother? For me?
"The pleasure is mine. It is a rare thing to meet another Dreamer," I replied. "I would be most curious to hear of your experiences in the Fade."
This seemed to amuse him further. "Oh, we're not all that rare. If you know where to look, you'll find a Dreamer or two in nearly every city in Thedas. An active Dreamer, on the other hand… well, most of us tend to die young."
"A real mystery, that one," Halia added in dryly. Her irritation seemed greater than before. "I can't imagine what keeps killing them. Maybe because they keep poking at spirits when they shouldn't? Hard to say, really."
She glared at Hallen, and her words seemed directed only towards him. Hallen met her glare, and the coldness thawed somewhat. The smirk turned into a placating smile that held real warmth. I watched the silent exchange between them with fascination.
Whatever this elvhen's character was, he clearly held affection for Halia, perhaps even love. That in itself was something of a relief. The Evanuris had been a family in blood only. Apart from the twins, Dirthamen and Falon'din, who had loved each other far too much, there had been no love anywhere to be found. No affection at all.
At the time, that fact had made my rebellions both easier and more difficult all at once. They each took pleasure from watching their family members bleed. It was amusing to them. Unless it directly affected them, not one of them would lift a finger to help the other. It had given me the opportunity to fight against them one at a time. But it had also made it harder for me to provoke them into making mistakes.
With these two, their affection was clear. Were we on opposite sides, it would be all too easy to use their familial love against each other. Put one in danger and watch the other dance to my tune to protect them.
No. I would not do that to her. Not unless I had no other choice. The thought of facing Halia as an enemy was more distressing that I cared to admit, but I could do it. I had done far worse.
I hoped that I would not have to. If I could only retrieve my orb.
"Halia thinks I'm reckless," he said after a moment of silence, turning back towards me. "A bit ironic, all things considered. She used to have a crush on the Dread Wolf, of all people. You wouldn't believe the-"
Halia's mouth dropped and her face turned bright scarlet. In an instant, she snatched hold of one of Hallen's ears and yanked roughly, almost bending the ear in half. Hallen cried out in surprise, and his cool demeanor vanished as he cringed in pain.
"OW! Shit! Halia, that hurts. Let go!"
He flailed and the dreamscape wavered. Halia twisted her grip more, and he whined. I felt my eyebrows raise at the strange display.
"I've just about had enough of you today, dear little brother," Halia snapped at him. "I said that you could say 'hello'. I didn't say you could startle my friend and try to embarrass me in front of him. Apologize and go home."
"Andraste preserve me. Alright, mother. Let go first!"
Halia released his ear and stepped back. Hallen gingerly touched his ear and cringed again. He straightened and met my surprised stare with a sheepish look.
"Do you have sisters, Solas?" he asked, a little out of breath.
"No." I did not have parents either.
Hallen huffed a laugh. "Lucky you. They're a pain in the ass."
"The same could be said for brothers," Halia added, a warning edge to her voice.
"Alright, fine! I'm sorry for scaring you. I didn't mean to. Well, actually I did mean to," he amended. "But I shouldn't have done it. It was uncalled for."
"It is quite alright, Hallen," I said mildly. "You will find that you have to try harder if you wish to 'scare' me. As it was, I was merely startled."
Hallen grinned again. "A challenge, huh? Sounds like fun. Perhaps I can try again the next time we meet."
"Indeed. My dreams are open to you and Halia at any time."
As if it would be otherwise. This was another rare opportunity that I could not afford to squander. When Felassan had said he was the only elvhen left awake, I had believed him. Why would I not? This modern world was everything hostile to our people. To see others, and not just one but two. Two children of June, no less.
My mind raced with possibilities. Bound as they were, even a fool could tell they were dangerous. But unbound… I would have to be careful either way. Vathallen and Mahalia Isthorel were blood descendants of the Evanuris. They could be invaluable allies, or lethal adversaries.
"I'll remember that for when I'm not busy." Hallen sighed. "Speaking off, I must be getting back. Night is when the real work begins. Until next time."
"No apology for me?" asked Halia.
Hallen snorted. "No, you deserved it. Let's just call us even. And spend more time in the Fade. It's the only way I can talk to you."
"I'll try," she hesitated, then pursed her lips. "Jerk."
"Bitch," he replied, clear affection in his voice. "I'll see you later."
And then, Hallen was gone.
"How does a Dalish elf have a crush on the Dread Wolf?"
Halia turned bright scarlet again. Another myriad of emotions played out over her face, predominantly embarrassment. And then, she burst out laughing. Halia slapped a hand to her mouth, but it didn't stop the giggles. Her face and ears grew even redder, and she kept on, her laughter becoming almost hysterical.
I watched her silently, amusement and concern warring within me. I had always know that she had enjoyed my presence as a girl. Her lilac eyes would light up when we met, and she would smile at me without reservation. She had been a reserved child, timid and shy, but her emotions had been clear and honest. I knew that she had grown emotionally attached, but I had not seen the signs of infatuation. I would have said something to dissuade her had I known. She should have been looking at elvhen closer to her own age.
"Sorry, I just…" she broke off in a short fit of giggles and then composed herself. "Ahh, this is ridiculous. Let's just say that I have an… unfortunate attraction to the morally dubious. Always have, and probably always will. It tends to get me in trouble."
"The morally dubious?" I asked, incredulous but also amused. "That's very progressive for a Dalish. Is the Dread Wolf not the representation of evil and treachery anymore?"
"Oh, he is," Halia replied with a sigh, her laughter now gone. "The Dalish live harsh lives, and they're very often cut short. In such conditions, ambiguity is painted over with black and white, pure good and pure evil. I don't condone it, but I sympathize with it."
"Indeed? You seem quite content to stand aside as the truth is misrepresented and erased." My previous amusement evaporated as a familiar ire built in my center. "You were rather incensed when you mentioned how the 'shemlen' misrepresent Shartan and the elves. Humanity has its own share of hardships. Tell me, how is this any different? Should this not elicit the same response?"
For a long moment, Halia said nothing. Her eyes narrowed, and her mouth twisted in clear anger. Her scowl morphed into a bitter smirk, and then suddenly, all her anger seemed to deflate and vanish. She laughed again softly, a strangely hollow sound. Her shoulders slouched a little, and she shook her head.
"It should, you're right. It's just that…" she trailed off and started to amble over to a large tree root that jutted out. She sat down. "I don't know. I've learned to pick my battles. If I don't, I'll never stop fighting, and I'm tired. So fucking tired, Solas. You have no idea." She snorted. "Or maybe you do. I don't know."
Halia rubbed at her face roughly, and then she smiled wryly at me.
"You should have met me before I joined the Lavellan clan. Couldn't let anything go. I was an absolute menace," she said softly. "Every insult, big or small, was worth starting a fight to the death over. Every little misrepresentation of fact was worth a duel, or a screaming match. I didn't know how to stop, didn't want to. I was preserving my culture and history… I was protecting my people. My family. It all had to mean something, you know."
She stared off into the distance, a familiar blank look in her eyes. My own ire bled away as I looked down at her, and an ancient sorrow swelled in its place. My heart grew heavy in my chest. I understood what she meant, far more than I cared to admit. I had been the same. How much had I sacrificed for thousands of years for the People, for their freedom? And yet for all that I lost, all that I had willingly given up, the People were lost, enslaved, defeated, dead.
I understood better than anyone.
I sat beside her on the giant root. "I was not so different when I was young. Hot-blooded and cocky. Always ready for a fight. My kin often called me incorrigible, unmanageable, and ungovernable." I sighed. "I too had to learn to pick my battle wisely. One cannot fight on all fronts. I apologize."
"It's alright. It was a fair point to make," Halia conceded. Then, she smiled. Her dark violet eyes twinkled, and they were hypnotic in the dim light as she turned her gaze upon me. "It's a shame our young adult selves never met. We would have been nightmares together. Absolute menaces to society and all things conventional."
I snorted, and her grin widened a little.
"Perhaps not the best of ideas. I was an intolerable flirt when I was young," I warned. "I doubt my first impression would have been favorable."
"Oh, I don't know. I probably would have thought you were intolerably cute and flirted back. Then we would have been in trouble."
"Indeed? What would Fen'Harel have said, I wonder?" I teased.
A little bit of her blush returned. She rolled her eyes at me and scoffed.
"Do I look fifteen and stupid, Solas? It was an adolescent crush that I got over a long time ago. Hallen was just being the typical, annoying little brother," she scolded. "Besides, Fen'Harel is a title, a reputation. If I were to pursue Fen'Harel, I'd want to know the person underneath all that, the flesh and blood. The spirit. Otherwise, I might as well be infatuated with the next random statue I come across. Have little stone babies that are just as lifeless and soulless as their father. No thank you."
"That is an image."
The metaphor was a bit nonsensical, but it was a relief to hear her say such things. The idea of her being infatuated with the memory of me from thousands of years ago did not sit well with me. I knew that it was an angle I could exploit, a lever I could pull if it came to it. But the very thought disgusted me to my core. I did not want to, I did not want to even have that option.
In truth, it was selfish of me of to have this friendship at all. It would be better for her if I did not seek her out so often, if I avoided her entirely outside of our missions. And yet… I was weak. In more ways than one. I wanted. I craved. And I could not find the will to stop.
Her smile was bright, her dark violet eyes were soft and mesmerizing, and her spirit fascinated me.
Halia was wrong. We were already in trouble.
"What can I say? It's a gift," she replied with a mock-sage look. "What did you come here for, Solas?"
For a few moments, I could not bring myself to answer. I knew why I was here. It was growing harder to stay away, harder to keep her out of my thoughts. If I were wise, I would have maintained the distance between us. I would not have gone to her room, nor would I have sought her out in the Fade. But I was not wise, I was a fool.
"I wished to speak with you," I said. "It is not often that you are here, and I had thought we might traverse the Fade together. There are many memories to discover, even here in the sea."
It was not a lie, but it was neither the full truth. Halia considered me quietly for a moment, as though she did not entirely believe me. Her lips pursed again, and I found myself captivated by that simple movement. She noticed my stare, and her eyebrows arched in a teasing question. I swallowed and looked away.
"Hmm, there was an island city-state in this area long ago. The Imperium used blood magic to sink it below the sea. I don't remember the name of it though," she mused. "You won't find it on any maps, I know that much. Is that what you're talking about?"
"That would explain the memory I encountered before I came here," I replied with a nod. "Would you be willing to explore with me tonight?"
Her eyes brightened briefly, but I noticed the hesitation that lurked in her gaze. Her smile turned to a thoughtful frown.
"I'm not good at this, Solas," she said sadly. "I… I have a bad habit of attracting the worst memories. War, death, destruction of all kinds. It's hard to find other memories, good memories. The Fade is a taxing place for me, it's why I don't dream much anymore."
My heart grew even heavier. A Dreamer who did not dream. I had never heard of such a thing, but in this broken world, I should not have been surprised. Devastation was everywhere, and had been for thousands of years. I did not know her history, but the pieces I had gathered were… dark.
It was only natural that the Fade would reflect that back to her. I could not deny that such memories were harder even for me to avoid than they had been before.
"What would you wish to see instead?"
Halia frowned again, her brows furrowing as she mulled over my question.
"Something nice. Something good," she said softly, a distant look in her eyes. "I don't know."
I got to my feet and moved to stand before her. Halia watched my sudden movement with surprise and curiosity. I held out my hand to her.
"Come with me then," I urged gently. "Allow me to guide you."
She exhaled sharply, a sound that was half laugh, half scoff. Disbelief flickered over her face, and was quickly replaced. Her eyes shined, and she appeared overwhelmed with some nameless emotion. For a moment, I thought she might cry.
She didn't. Halia tilted her head as she considered me and my offer. I waited patiently.
Then, Halia smiled again. It was a small one, but the warmth behind it made my breath catch in my chest. She placed her hand in mine.
"Lead on then, lethallin."
A/N: Yayy, I finally finished this one. It took longer than I expected because I kept rewriting parts of it. But yeah, Hallen has finally made his debut. I hope y'all like this little weirdo. He's going to show up a lot more in this story later on. I have a side-plot romance planned for him and stuff.
Halia and Solas are getting closer, but they're still pretty skittish about their growing feelings for each other. I'm starting to lose my mind a little, lol. I'm too straightforward when it comes to romance, but I also don't have several thousand years worth of trauma. So, there's that. The slow burn torture must continue, alas. Or will it? :P
Anyway, special thanks to Judy and lolistarkiller for your reviews. You guys are awesome, and any feedback is super encouraging. So thank you! Especially to you, lolistarkiller. I really enjoy your theories about the lore and canon, and yeah, Veilguard is a mess. I intend to cherry pick a lot when it comes to the new lore with that game. Because, yikes.
I hope y'all are enjoying my story so far. Please leave a review and let me know what you think. Do you love it? Do you hate it? Is it just meh? I'm addicted to feedback, lol.
Next up: Some more fade shenanigans, and the advisors have a very understandable meltdown. Until next time! Dareth Shiral~