The Monday that classes started, Harry had been busy. After History, Potions, and Ancient Runes, he had been assigned loads of homework. Then, there was worry about Umbridge, after her speech at the opening feast. Thankfully, some of the older students in each house seemed to understand what Umbridge was doing, so all those who opposed her could recognize it. After Harry and Hermione met up with Ron and Ben, Harry and Hermione came from Ancient Runes, Ron from Divination, and Ben from, well, Harry didn't know. When they entered the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom they found Professor Umbridge already seated at the teacher's desk, wearing the fluffy pink cardigan of the night before and the black velvet bow on top of her head. Harry was again reminded forcibly of a large fly perched unwisely on top of an even larger toad.

"Well, good afternoon!" she said when finally the whole class had sat down.

A few people mumbled "Good afternoon," in reply.

"Tut, tut," said Professor Umbridge. "That won't do, now, will it? I should like you, please, to reply 'Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge.' One more time, please. Good afternoon, class!"

"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge," they chanted back at her.

"There, now," said Professor Umbridge sweetly. "That wasn't too difficult, was it? Wands away and quills out, please."

Many of the class exchanged gloomy looks; the order "wands away" had never yet been followed by a lesson they had found interesting. Harry shoved his wand back inside his bag and pulled out quill, ink, and parchment. Harry noticed Ben's brow was twitching a bit. Professor Umbridge opened her handbag, extracted her own wand, which was an unusually short one, and tapped the blackboard sharply with it; words appeared on the board at once:

Defense Against the Dark Arts

A Return to Basic Principles.

"Well now, your teaching in this subject has been rather disrupted and fragmented, hasn't it?" stated Professor Umbridge, turning to face the class with her hands clasped neatly in front of her, ignorant of the way Ben's brow twitch had increased in speed. "The constant changing of teachers, many of whom do not seem to have followed any Ministry-approved curriculum, has unfortunately resulted in your being far below the standard we would expect to see in your O.W.L. year.

"You will be pleased to know, however, that these problems are now to be rectified. We will be following a carefully structured, theory-centered, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic this year. Copy down the following, please."

She rapped the blackboard again; the first message vanished and was replaced by:

Course aims:

1. Understanding the principles underlying defensive magic.

2. Learning to recognize situations in which defensive magic can legally be used.

3. Placing the use of defensive magic in a context for practical use.

For a couple of minutes the room was full of the sound of scratching quills on parchment. When everyone had copied down Professor Umbridge's three course aims she said, "Has everybody got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"

There was a dull murmur of assent throughout the class.

"I think we'll try that again," said Professor Umbridge. "When I ask you a question, I should like you to reply 'Yes, Professor Umbridge,' or 'No, Professor Umbridge.' So, has everyone got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"

"Yes, Professor Umbridge," rang through the room, although Harry could have sworn he heard a muttered "Why, Professor Umbridge."

"Good," said Professor Umbridge. "I should like you to turn to page five and read chapter one, 'Basics for Beginners.' There will be no need to talk."

Professor Umbridge left the blackboard and settled herself in the chair behind the teacher's desk, observing them all with those pouchy toad's eyes. Harry tried reading the incredibly dull book, before being distracted by Hermione and Ben both raising their hands, their books closed. Now for Ben, this wasn't an enormous event, but for Hermione, well…

Harry was not the only one watching Hermione and Ben. The chapter they had been instructed to read was so tedious that more and more people were choosing to watch Hermione and Ben's mute attempt to catch Professor Umbridge's eye than to struggle on with "Basics for Beginners."

When more than half the class were staring at Hermione rather than at their books, Professor Umbridge seemed to decide that she could ignore the situation no longer.

"Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?" she asked Hermione, as though she had only just noticed her.

"Not about the chapter, no," said Hermione.

"Well, we're reading just now," said Professor Umbridge, showing her small, pointed teeth. "If you have other queries we can deal with them at the end of class."

"I've got a query about your course aims," said Hermione.

Professor Umbridge raised her eyebrows.

"And your name is — ?"

"Hermione Granger," said Hermione.

"Well, Miss Granger, I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read them through carefully," said Professor Umbridge in a voice of determined sweetness.

"Well, I don't," said Hermione bluntly. "There's nothing written up there about using defensive spells."

There was a short silence in which many members of the class turned their heads to frown at the three course aims still written on the blackboard.

"Using defensive spells?" Professor Umbridge repeated with a little laugh. "Why, I can't imagine any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?"

Ben cleared his throat rather loudly, interrupting Ron before he could speak while drawing Umbridge's attention.

"Yes, Mr. …?"

"Black, ma'am. I was going to ask if you're saying that future Aurors, all of whom, or well, most of whom, would be expected to first use a spell in the Ministry or, Merlin forbid," Ben started smiling sharply here, "when they're targeting a dangerous criminal, such as Fenrir Greyback."

Professor Umbridge started at that, clearly not expecting this line of reasoning, "No, of course not, you'll still be tested for - "

"You mean we're expected to have mastered spells we've never cast during our OWLs?" Terry Boot interrupted, rage and panic dancing in his tone.

"It is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will be more than sufficient to get you through your examination, which, after all, is what school is all about," stated Professor Umbridge, clearly trying to regain control of the situation. "And I didn't see your hand, Mr. …?"

"Would you trust a Healer who's never used the spell before to heal your broken arm?" asked Ben, hand raised.

"I don't know wha-"

"It's the same principle," Ben interrupted Professor Umbridge. "If you wouldn't trust a Healer to heal you using a spell for the first time, neither would we trust ourselves to successfully cast a spell for a test if it's the first time."

"As long as you have studied the theory hard enough, there is no reason why you should not be able to perform the spells under carefully controlled examination conditions," said Professor Umbridge dismissively.

"Without ever practicing them before?" said Parvati incredulously, hand raised. "Are you telling us that the first time we'll get to do the spells will be during our exam?"

"I repeat, as long as you have studied the theory hard enough -"

"I've heard enough," Ben interrupted, standing and putting his things in his bag. "Clearly, the Ministry wants its future employees to fail our exams, if this is the standard that they're trying to push. I'm not wasting my time for another minute in this classroom."

"You will serve detention with me," stated Professor Umbridge. "I'll expect you -"

Ben started laughing. "I'll join you for detention once you show me that you passed your NEWT Defense test. ICW guidelines are that a teacher must pass the NEWT in the subject, at the least, to teach the class. I looked it up after Gilderoy I-can-heal-you-better-than-a-healer Lockhart. I encourage everyone to write to their parents, explain what we're being taught."

"I'll see you expelled," Umbridge shouted.

"Can't," stated Ben. "This is my first offense this year, and it was major enough to warrant an expulsion. I'll come back when you've started actually teaching us, instead of attempting to make your class Defense Against the Dark Arts study hall."

"Study hall?" Umbridge asked, fury lacing her tone.

"Yes, it's the time in Muggle schools when you either do homework or use that time to read."

Ben left after that, Umbridge turning purple. There was a moment before the entirety of the class left. Harry was last to leave the room, seeing Umbridge disappear into her office.

AN: This was a chapter I've been waiting/wanting to do since I started this project. Bit of a cliffhanger at the end, but the repercussions will be major. I do hope you have a good day.

Uploaded Feb 2nd, 2025