Oof, today's chapter is a heavy one. We deal with Steven's issue and may or may not have accidentally triggered one of Twoie's... I'm sure you all will figure out where this is headed. I said we'd address the fusion stuff soon, but we need to address Steven's issues first. I based this a lot on Steven's projections in the mindscape as Stevonnie before they fell off the Sky Arena. I also watched a lot of White Diamond clips until I found a good quote that I could tie into.
Twoie had no idea what was happening. Why did his brother have a butterfly? Everything Twoie had gone through was to prevent Steven from going through the same traumatic experiences he had experienced. Steven never gave any indication that something was upsetting him, at least, not since he went to therapy for the bubble incident. What had Twoie missed? He watched in shock and horror as the little white butterfly fluttered in front of Steven's face. "Steven?" How had he not noticed that his brother was still hurting? In the silence, a cacophony of fluttering filled the room. Twoie turned his head to see a swarm of butterflies appear, circling above the group in the mindscape. It was like rubbing salt into the wound. "Steven? Can you tell me what's wrong? I just want to help!"
"I don't want your help!" Twoie flinched, stepping back in surprise at how pained Steven sounded. His little brother clenched his fists as he tried to hold back tears. The butterflies frenzied around them, breaking off into four smaller groups. One group swirled until it formed a giant figure. The mass of creatures fused into a giant scratched up and slightly bleeding Twoie, covering his stomach with one hand.
Steven whirled around in horror as his injured brother stepped forward, only to collapse with a whimper of pain. "Steven! Please!" Imaginary Twoie reached out a hand towards the group, though his eyes focused on Steven's shaking form. "Everything hurts. Why did you let our family hurt me? Why didn't you try harder to convince them?" Steven took a step back, slowly shaking his head. Garnet and Twoie flinched at the reminder of their fight on the beach. "I just wanted to help…"
Before Twoie could try to talk to Steven, another swarm of butterflies shifted into a new form. This time, it was a figure of Twoie with dark bags under his eyes. The figure looked shaken, curly strands of hair sticking out in several places, and the giant Twoie's hands were tightly gripping at his hair. "Why did you turn on me?" Giant Twoie hysterically giggled as he hunched in on himself. "You knew I was trying to help, but you left me. You only tried to help me once you were safe, even though I always hurt myself to help you. You just blamed me for everything that went wrong and left me to face Yellow Diamond with Peridot." The imaginary Twoie glared at Steven and pointed at him in accusation. "You knew I was trying to help, but that wasn't enough for you, was it? You're the reason I broke down! You're the reason I started corrupting! We all knew that was the turning point, and it's all your fault!"
Connie gasped and hid behind Twoie. She knew a lot of stuff had happened to Twoie before he corrupted, but she never knew the details. Seeing how injured and upset these memory-based imaginary Twoies were, she wasn't sure she wanted to know. And those accusations… Connie knew that these were just manifestations of Steven's darkest thoughts, and that hurt to know. She thought back to her conversation with Twoie during their camping trip. How long was Steven blaming himself for these incidents? The young girl couldn't think of a moment that she had thought he was acting odd. Connie burrowed further into Twoie's jacket, only to realized that he was shaking. She looked up, seeing the horror and guilt in his eyes. He must not have known that Steven was so affected by him getting hurt.
"It's not! Garnet grabbed me! I didn't run on purpose! I tried to snap you out of it!" Steven tried pleading with the figure, but the giant figure only glared harder.
The small group didn't even notice the third swarm of butterflies until a large shadow appeared over them. Everyone whipped around to see another figure of Twoie, this time standing behind them. Twoie felt sick as he recognized what event this figure was from. This Twoie had blood dripping sluggishly from the corner of his mouth and his stomach. Pinkish splotches covered his pale skin, dark bags drooped under his eyes, and a hand hovered over a cracked gem. "Why Steven? Why didn't you notice me leave? Why weren't you paying attention when the gems had their meeting with Bismuth?" Twoie could hear Steven's breath hitch with a sob, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from his bleeding, cracked form. He was barely lucid during that moment and hadn't realized how badly Bismuth had hurt him. "Are you happy knowing that while you were sleeping comfortably in your bed that I was dying in that room? I confronted Bismuth to help you, but you couldn't help me until it was too late."
Garnet couldn't believe that she had missed this. Of course, Steven would've been affected by all the times Twoie got hurt from protecting him. She was aware of her own twisted role in these incidents. She was part of the reason Twoie got hurt at the beach. As leader, Garnet should've given Twoie the chance to tell them why he released Peridot, but she didn't. She should've recognized that she was unfairly blaming Twoie when Peridot contacted Yellow Diamond. She should've done more to protect Twoie when they were confronting Bismuth. None of these events were Steven's fault, but her poor nephew had been suffering in silence.
Connie didn't think she could handle much more of this. She only caught a glimpse of this new Twoie before rushing to hide behind her brother again. However, the image of corrupting, bleeding Twoie would forever be burned into her memory. How did Steven and the others deal with seeing Twoie like this in real life? This was horrible! And Connie knew the gems contributed to a lot of what happened, even though it was sometimes on accident. Some of Twoie's past reactions made more sense to her now.
Although everyone was affected by these apparitions in the mindscape, Steven was hurt by them the most. The kid was beginning to hyperventilate. Initially, after the Peridot incident, he'd brushed the dark thoughts off because he knew they weren't right. However, the doubt associated with them continued to circulate, especially after every new incident. He felt terrible for yelling at Twoie after Peridot told him about her plan to contact Yellow Diamond. Anger and betrayal had burned through him when she said Twoie knew about it already. Even though Twoie had forgiven him, that was when he began having a harder time ignoring his doubt. Talking with Peridot helped a little but seeing how exhausted and sick Twoie was had only strengthened that doubt. Especially when he found out that Twoie was covering it up. And then, there was Bismuth. Since Bismuth had taken the couch, he was sharing his bed with Twoie. Steven remembered the fear that coursed through him as Amethyst burst into the house shouting for him to wake up. He had no idea that Twoie was planning to intrude on their confrontation with Bismuth, let alone that a confrontation was happening. Nothing had matched his terror at seeing Twoie in a worse state than Amethyst after she cracked. He'd hoped to never see Twoie in that position again. But then…
The last swarm of butterflies morphed into a final figure of Twoie. This Twoie looked almost normal if it weren't for the half-lidded eyes as he slumped forward slightly. This Twoie shivered from a chill only he could feel, and his breaths came in harsh, rasping gasps. "Steven… You knew what was going to happen." The large figure coughed several times, as though choking. "I told you that we could be shot into space. I took over your role of activating the door, so you would be safe. I was trying to help you." Steven scrambled backward in fear, accidentally tripping over his own feet. He flinched at every wracking cough that echoed through the mindscape. "If you had just stayed with the gems, I would've had enough air. We made a plan, and you ruined it. If I had died, it would've been your fault."
"No!" Everyone turned to the real Twoie in shock. Twoie was still shaking, but he was glaring at the four figures of himself. "It was never Steven's fault that any of this happened. Either it was my fault or the gems' fault or someone else's fault, but it was never his!" Steven looked at him in shock. "Steven, you need to let go of the blame. It's not yours to shoulder, and it's only hurting you." Twoie held his arms out as an invitation for a hug. "I was the one who recklessly threw myself into those situations, but I promise you, I won't rush in without thinking again. I should've realized that I was hurting you with my self-sacrificial actions. I promise I won't ever do it again. So, please… Let it go."
Steven's face scrunched up as he started crying. Without hesitation, the kid pushed himself to his feet and lunged into his brother's arms. As Twoie comfortingly brushed a hand through his brother's hair, the four figures faded away. "I'm sorry! I just-!" Steven pulled away so he could see his brother. "Every time you got hurt was because you were helping me. So, I thought if I didn't say anything, then you wouldn't know. You wouldn't be able to help me." Steven sniffled, wiping away his tears. "You told us about the differences between your time and ours. I couldn't help but feel like I only made things worse."
Twoie stiffened. 'I only made things worse.'"Only make things worse."The calm blue of the mindscape shifted into a glaring reddish-orange. A pointed shadow fell over them, and Twoie viscerally reacted, stepping back as he whirled around in horror. He didn't even notice as Garnet flinched, tripping over herself in shock at the looming figure. Connie and Steven backed up in fear. They didn't recognize the figure, but something about her made them uncomfortable. If Garnet and Twoie were scared of her, then there was something to fear.
White Diamond loomed over them, giving Twoie a pitying look. "Please, stop helping them." Twoie shivered at the disappointment in her voice. "You'll only make things worse. That's what you do." She smiled at him. That calm, fake,dangeroussmile that never failed to strike fear into Twoie's heart. "I've grown tired of your little game, Pink. Always hiding things. Tsk. Tsk." White slowly reached out for him, thumb and pointer finger pointed as though ready to pluck him from the ground. "This has gone onlong enough."
"NO!" Twoie didn't know who screamed. He didn't know what was going on. One second, White Diamond was reaching for him, ready to pluck his gem out, and the next, he was back on the beach. It was dark out. The stars were glittering in the sky, and the last of the sun was peeking over the horizon. Twoie clutched at his chest as he hyperventilated. A hand touched his shoulder, and Twoie shoved it off as fast as he could.
Garnet looked at him fearfully, pink light reflecting off her outstretched hand. "Twoie, you need to calm down. Breath in, and out." Twoie wanted to say he was fine, but his words caught in his throat. He was having a hard time breathing. "In, and out." Okay, in and out. The young man looked down at his hands, hoping that would help him focus on breathing, but he started panicking again as he noted that his hands were glowing pink. "Twoie!" He looked up, meeting all three of Garnet's eyes. "Focus on me. In and out." In and out. In. And out. In. Out.
Steven and Connie exchanged a look of concern before Connie whistled for Lion. A second later, a swirling pink portal appeared, and Lion hopped out. Connie didn't need to say anything. The pink lion immediately honed in on Twoie and padded over. He nudged his head under Twoie's, purring as he nuzzled his human. The young man gently gripped the soft mane, calming quickly as he petted his friend. "Thanks, Lion." Twoie pressed his face into Lion's mane.
Garnet sighed in relief. She flashed Connie and Steven a grateful look before turning back to Twoie. "Are you feeling better?" She knelt beside him as he nodded. Garnet wasn't sure what had happened back in the mindscape. She knew that Twoie had to talk to the Diamonds to stop the war. They all knew that. However, Twoie had been very sparing of the exact details that led to that confrontation and how it happened. She would bet her gauntlets that whatever traumatic memory that he had hidden about White was something that happened before the war ended. "I know you didn't mean for us to find out about your fear of White Diamond, but I need you to be open about it now." Twoie peered up at her, face half-hidden in Lion's mane. "Please, Twoie. We want to help you, and the only way we can do that is if you tell us what's bothering you."
Twoie closed his eyes before he nodded in agreement. "Okay. As long as you promise me that we'll finish talking with Steven about his feelings before the day is over." At Garnet's nod of agreement, Twoie took a deep breath to calm his nerves. He never liked talking about it. He didn't even likethinkingabout it. Steven and Connie sat down at each side, ready to learn about the diamond that freaked out Twoie years after the war ended. "Okay. I guess everything started with the final battle."