October 2184. Super Earth. Ministry of Intelligence. Commander James' Office
Fifty years back, a cluster of alien-inhabited worlds had been discovered. Their technology was primitive, laughably so compared to Super Earth's. Eliminating these populations would have been easy, but a faction on Super Earth proposed a different approach: assimilate these worlds, bringing them into the managed democracy and ideals of "freedom." Slowly but surely, the assimilation succeeded, and the three alien worlds joined the ranks of Super Earth's interstellar domain.
Then came the second galactic war. With a fresh demand for Helldivers, a covert initiative began to conscript the alien inhabitants from those newly "democratized" planets. While some recruits held promise, others proved to be walking disasters. Today, this particular squad had crossed a line. The only question now was how severe the consequences would be.
In the office of the Ministry of Intelligence, Helldiver Commander James sat stone-faced, his patience worn thin. Across from him stood the alien Helldiver team: three Satinos from Irae and a young Tindalian female from Beelzian. Their team leader, a Satino hybrid named Blitz—a chaotic mix of Catlian and Drakian blood, with traces of lesser-known subspecies—was the ringleader behind their most recent catastrophe.
Blitz broke the silence first. "So… about that op. Could we just, you know, sweep it under the rug and move on? There are planets to liberate, and the SEAF's not exactly hurting for bodies, right?" He chuckled as if the mess they'd made was just another anecdote.
James narrowed his eyes, cold anger lacing his tone. "The point, Blitz, is that you used an ICBM on the wrong GODDAMN TARGET!."
Blitzo shrugged. "Hey, shit happens. How many Helldivers have fucked ops just as bad, and you guys let them slide?"
James felt a vein in his forehead pulse as he glared at the team's other two Satinos.
"And what about you two? Any justification for this utter disaster?" James's gaze was sharp and unyielding.
One of them, a Drakian Satino named Moxxie, exchanged a look with his companion, clearly unhappy to be there. Leaning back, he sighed. "Sir, the whole thing was chaos. Do you have any idea how many Automatons dropped down on us while we were trying to secure the terminal? They sent in dropships, war machines, the works. It was a slaughterhouse."
James scoffed. "Helldivers face down armies of Automatons and still manage to stick to the damn mission. Your stunt with that missile just cost us an entire strategic position. The front line's barely holding as it is."
He shifted his attention to the last Satino in the group, a female Catlian, apparently Moxxie's partner. "Millie, got anything more helpful to add?"
Millie grinned, unfazed. "Like Moxxie said, we was gettin' overrun, sir. I was more focused on stackin' up metal bodies than worryin' 'bout where that missile was headed."
James sighed, sensing that Millie was more interested in wreaking havoc than following orders. "Right. Not a single damn thing that you said makes this any clearer. Last chance. You," he pointed at the Tindalian, Loona, "explain what went down, or I'll have all four of you facing the firing squad."
Loona, who had been quiet until now, finally spoke, her voice low. "Well… it went like this…"
October 2184. Martale. SEAF ICBM Silo. Helldiver team IMP (Immediate Murder Professionals)
Automaton dropships filled the sky, unloading waves of troopers and hulking war machines around the silo. IMP's botched attempt to eliminate a single guard had led to this mess—the damn thing had managed to fire a flare before they could silence it. Now, the machines were hell-bent on stopping the launch, and IMP was fighting for their lives.
"You just had to miss that tin fucker!?" Blitz yelled over the chaos, ducking as lasers and rockets blasted their makeshift cover.
"Quit yer bellyachin' and help us clear 'em out!" Millie snapped, firing a recoilless rifle shell into a dropship engine. The shot hit dead-on, sending the ship crashing into a cluster of Automatons.
While Moxxie scrambled to help her reload, Loona scanned the battlefield. The machines were pressing closer, relentlessly. "Any brilliant ideas this time?" she asked Blitz, watching him tinker with his wrist device to call in an Eagle strike.
Blitzo grinned. "Picked this baby just for a mess like this. Let's hope she's got good aim." He lobbed a beacon over the rocks, landing it smack in the center of the Automaton horde. Moments later, Eagle 1 came in hot, dropping a five-hundred-pound bomb right on target. IMP hunkered down as a massive explosion rocked the field, raining Automaton limbs and debris around them.
Grinning at the carnage, Blitzo peered over their cover. "See? Problem solved. Now let's get that hatch open and launch this thing." He vaulted over the rocks toward the terminal, and the others followed, alert for any more nasty surprises.
"Sir, you sure you know what you're doin'?" Moxxie asked as Blitzo began fiddling with the terminal controls.
"How hard can it be?" Blitzo muttered, scanning the instructions. "Right, says here someone's gotta go down and open the hatch manually. And that sure as hell ain't gonna be me." With a collective sigh, the others exchanged glances before Moxxie trudged off to tackle the silo locks.
Loona shot Blitzo a look. "Blitz, if I survive this, I'm switching units. Every time I'm stuck with you, things go straight to hell."
"Not my call, Loonie. Besides, we make a damn good team," Blitz smirked, tapping away at the terminal as he entered the launch codes. Beneath them, the silo doors creaked open, the missile slowly rising into launch position.
"Alright, so... you wanna pick the target, or is it my call?" Blitz barely waited for an answer, his fingers already dancing over the controls to lock in coordinates.
"I think they gave us a target," Loona began, but Blitz had already clicked the terminal, choosing a location almost at random.
"What the hell are you doin'!?" she shouted.
Blitz shrugged. "Look, that spot's lighting up the airwaves. It's gotta be important, right?" he replied, grinning as the missile engines ignited, sending it roaring skyward.
"Uh, sir…" Moxxie squinted at the map, horror dawning on his face. "That's… that's a SEAF position."
Blitz's grin vanished as he stared at the terminal, then back at the missile's vapor trail. The team's expressions turned to collective dread as the missile arced toward its unintended target, erupting into a massive fireball upon impact.
"...Well… whoops," Blitz muttered. Moments later, a thick cloud of dust and smoke rolled over them, covering the scene of their latest catastrophe.
Ministry of Intelligence. Commander James' Office
James couldn't believe what he was hearing. His face tightened, anger visibly etched across it as he tried to contain himself.
"So let me get this straight… You just picked a random spot and threw an ICBM at it without even checking with the Super Destroyer to confirm what the hell you were aiming at?" His voice was ice-cold, barely containing his fury as he rubbed his forehead, already nearing his breaking point.
"Look… mistakes happen," Blitz said defensively. "You sent us out there with no backup, not even a basic clue on how to use the damn thing. What did you expect?"
Commander James's eyes narrowed. "I'm starting to think this whole program—adding you lot into the Helldivers—was a colossal democracy damned mistake. Your actions just cost us big time. And let me tell you what's coming for you: it's called death by firing squad for the massive fuck up you four just caused!"
All four of them recoiled in fear, clearly ready to pass the blame to one another if it meant saving their skins. But before anyone could respond, there was a knock on the door. A woman entered, holding a tablet, which she handed to the Commander.
"What's this?" he asked, taking it and scanning the report.
"It's an update, sir. We just got intel on that location—it turns out the Automatons were using fake transmissions to mask a large outpost. According to recent scans and reports from the Eagles that swept over the area, that outpost would've been a major threat if it hadn't been destroyed."
Hearing her words, Blitzo's expression shifted from shock to a smug grin. "See? I knew there was something off about that location," he said with a self-satisfied grin, while the other three groaned, knowing he'd just lucked out.
"We got fucking lucky, Blitz. What if that hadn't been the case?" Loona muttered, still wondering if James would let them off the hook.
James read over the report several times, his grip on the tablet tightening as though he might crush it. After a tense moment, he handed it back to the woman.
"It seems you were lucky this time," he said, glaring at them. "But this is a one-time pass. You're free to go, but if you pull something like this again, I don't fucking care if it wins us control of Cyberstan. You will be executed. Now get the hell out of my sight, and I better not see you in here again for a screw-up like this."
As IMP scrambled out of his office, Blitzo's smug grin returned. "Alright, team! Let's get going; we've got more work to do!" he said in a cheerful tone, but his optimism wasn't contagious—Moxxie, Millie, and Loona exchanged frustrated looks, clearly dreading more missions with his reckless approach.
Thus, this was only the beginning, one of many such operations IMP would carry out, with countless more mishaps awaiting them down the line.
Edited thanks to ELE73CH.