Taimanin Xander

by bubbajack

Xander always thought he knew his origins. He thought he was son of two drunks and lived on a gateway to hell simple enough right? Well one trip to Japan changes everything. It seems the world is wider the he ever thought. Xander x Harem, Citrus, lemon and lime.

1. Chapter 1

Taimanin Xander

By: Bubbajack

Co-Authors/Editors: Icysnowsage, First Hassan/Darklord331, Antagonist, and Loamy Coffee.

Special Consultant: Heliosion

Special thanks go out to my Super Donors: Alexander Murry, Bobby Glass, Jareth Norris, NeroSolas, Selmephren and Lucas White, my sole Supreme Tier Donor.

Obligatory First Chapter Disclaimer: We do not own BtVS, Taimanin, Darkstalkers, Hellsing Ultimate, Legacy of Kain, or Shinobi.

Arc 1-1: Lost Son of Fuuma.

"How do you get yourself into these situations, Harris?" muttered Alexander "Xander" Harris as he smoked a cigarette off the corner of one of the major streets of Tokyo.

He looked around the city of lights that never seemed to sleep just like Paris. People were always moving around, chatting, and just being themselves. He was surprised at all the demons and others in their natural forms but saw how some had pictures taken of them and considered cosplay. He could tell the contempt from some of his associates who were more bloodthirsty and fresh. Slayers seemed to be arrogant by nature. Give a girl a little power and it goes to their head. He fully expected a screw up here or there. No plan survives contact with the enemy. His contact would be meeting him soon and hopefully the Slayers would be patient. One of their own was taken and Xander was sent to help find them. The royal hound as some of the Slayers snarked at him. Always on the hunt for the beck and call of his master. For once not Dracula, but Buffy and Willow.

"Oi Ryoken! What's taking your guy so long? The longer he takes, the more likely my girl is being tortured or dead!?" yelled the local Slayer leader Aiko. Xander could tell she was activated recently. Harsh, impatient, constant sugar high. Definitely Slayer. He looked around for his contact and checked his watch. They had been waiting all of ten minutes. His contact wasn't even late. The Slayers and Xander were just early. He looked around and noticed a few people looking at them. That was bad. The more you stood out the less likely you were to get information and stay under the radar.

"Oi oi oi you, Alexander? I have a letter for you" spoke a gruff and rough voice from beside Xander. He turned and was surprised to see an orc decked out in combat gear and even what looked like at first glance a fake sawed off shotgun. Afterall, they weren't usually made that big.

"That depends, was the letter first class or business?" Xander asked, giving the security question?

"Nah, its economy. Names Alphonse," the orc replied causing Xander to relax a little at the right code phrase. The slayers near them stiffened and Xander could tell they were itching for a fight.

"Not here, please ladies. My friend just wanted to deliver me some mail and then we will be on our way. Unless he would like some extra cash for a guide?" asked Xander handling some 10,000 yen notes he had just in case. Alphonse smirked with his tusk shining, taking the money and pocketing it, "You make a good offer. I'll show you the way but remember no trouble. I ain't losing my cred because a bunch of teenagers get antsy."

"Say that to my face, bitch!" sniped Satsu, Aiko's second in command.

Xander gave her a look to quiet down but only got a middle finger as his response as she muttered, "Dickless coward."

The group of Slayers snickered and it reminded Xander too much of high school. He followed Alphonse with the Slayers following along but made not so subtle threats to Alphonse as they came closer to what seemed to be an out of order elevator in an abandoned hotel.

Aiko looked at the broken down elevator, "What is this shit, huh? You trying to pull a fast one on us cause Ryoken gave you some money?"

Alphonse looked at the girls and then looked at Xander who just looked embarrassed. Xander slipped him another 20,000 yen and Alphonse just shook his head, "A man of class. I think you will be just fine in this world, mate. Now ladies. I am about to lead you into the underworld. I would suggest you keep your tempers in check and follow my lead. Where we are going, you are outnumbered, outgunned, and most wouldn't mind eating you. So a little tact would be helpful. Or not, what do I care? Alexander is the one paying me to play guide, not as protection."

They saw Alphonse walk up to the out of order elevator and press the buttons simultaneously and then waited ten seconds. A long hum was heard and then after five minutes an elevator showed up as the doors opened. It gave off an ominous pink hue.

"Where exactly are we going, Alphonse? I can at least know our location, correct?" asked Xander, getting an itch on the back of his neck like he was walking into a pit of vamps.

"In the West, it's called a hellmouth. Where we're going, it's called Hell's City or Yomihara. Be warned. You walk into the belly of the beast now." Alphonse warned ominously as the group gathered into the elevator and went down. Xander noticed that instead of floors, the sign showed meters. It went down, down, down further into the earth. All Xander could think was one thing, "Please don't let this mission go to shit."

What none noticed was that they were followed.

(...)

Yomihara was a dark, dreary foreboding place. That was the first thing Xander thought to himself when he got off the elevator. It was a dark, dreary, and cramped space filled with alleyways, and settled on a maze like twisted and turned into ever more cramped spaces. How they managed to fit so many small buildings in such an even smaller space was beyond him. Crimson red lights and a multitude of wires clung to the sky above him. And he could hear screams and gunshots in the distance. 'This doesn't bode well.' He thought to himself. 'This doesn't bode well at all.'

"All right, Ryoken, you got us down here. Now, let's handle things," Aiko said, taking a dominant tone as she ordered the Slayers with her to fan out.

"Um, no, that's not how this works. I'm in charge of this take your orders from me. Perhaps you didn't get the memo from Buffy. But there's a chain of command here, and it's me, you, and then everybody else."

"And why should I take orders from someone who has no powers and is more of a liability than help?"

Xander just shook his head at the behavior, typical ignorant Slayer. "You think you're immortal now that you have some superpowers? Well, let me tell you something, honey. Just because you have powers doesn't mean you're invincible. Buffy had to learn that the hard way, too. So you can either follow my lead and survive, or run in their guns blazing and die. Your choice."

Aiko got right up in Xander's face and growled, "You're just Buffy's lap dog. You're the person she sends when she can't bother to come herself. If anything, it shows how little she cares about the rest of us."

"If that's what you think, then you really are an idiot," Xander's reply was cold and curt. "She sent me because she trusts me. She sent me because I am the second in command of the Slayer Organization. She sent me because she expects me to get this done with no loss of life. And by God, you will obey me and nobody will die if I can help it. On our side at least. Is that clear, Slayer Aiko?"

The brash Slayer stared into his sole remaining eye for a long moment before she huffed, "Fine. But if we can't find my missing girl, I blame you."

Xander just shrugged. He didn't really care if she blamed him one way or the other."You can blame me all you want. For all we know, we might already be too late to save her. Hopefully, that's not the case. But we'll have to see what we can do by the time we find her."

"Really hopeful, aren't you mutt?" Aiko spat.

Xander walked forward, not bothering to look at the Slayer as he replied, "I'm realistic. She's been missing down here for several days and that's not a good sign for us." As he approached a massive gate being manned by what looked to be a young girl. He added. "Far too many times me and Buffy have been screwed over by various factors when it comes to saving people. We have learned to just accept the fact that we can't save everyone even if we try. If you want to survive long in this business, it's something I suggest you learn sooner rather than later."

"Halt. State your name and business for visiting Yomihara." The young girl called out.

"Hello, Miss? Xander began. He wanted to get off on the right foot with her if she was the lone guard of the gate into the city. It probably meant she was stronger than she appeared.

"Hell Knight Lina, I don't often see humans coming through the gate, so this is a pleasant surprise." She chirped happily, before turning to the orc mercenary and asking, "Are they with you, Alphonse?"

Alphonse raised a hand in greeting, "Hey, Lina. Yeah, they're with me."

"Well, if they're with you, they must be a trustworthy sort then. I see no problem in letting them in as long as they behave themselves."

Raising an eyebrow, Xander couldn't help but ask, "Isn't Yomihara a literal hell hole?"

Lina paused before saying, "Well, yes, but also no. It does have some semblance of law and order. As minor as it is. Still, as long as your female friends keep a close eye on themselves and don't accept any strange offers or advances from anyone, they should be fine."

"Thanks for the heads up, Lina. We'll take that to heart." Seeing a vending machine nearby, Xander walked over to it and put some change in it. Before coming back with some candy. "Here. A token of my thanks, small though it is."

"I-I really shouldn't. I'm on duty…" Lina said, even though she looked torn at the offering of sweets. Before she finally snapped up the tea flavored Kit Kat bars. "Just this once wouldn't hurt, right? And it was a gift."

"Right. And I won't tell anyone if you don't, Lina." Xander said, giving the little ball of energy a small smile. He liked the fact that she was so perky despite being a demon.

"Right. Enjoy your stay in Yomihara! And please remember to be careful!" She called to him, waving to him as he left with his group.

Xander sighed as they slipped through the front gates. "See, that wasn't so hard. Diplomacy can get you through things that violence won't."

"I guess," Aiko admitted, albeit grudgingly. "I still think my squad could have taken her. And we could have just forced the gate open,"

Xander shook his head. She sounded just like Buffy in her beginner years. In fact, she might be even more arrogant, "And have the entire police force of Yomihara on our asses? I don't think so," He turned to the slayers and said, "Look, we're going to do this by the book, and we're going to do it quietly. We do not need to make a ruckus of the place because we are outnumbered and outgunned right now. This is a stealth operation, not a murder fest. Do you girls understand this?" None of the Slayers met his eyes, and they all grumbled under their breath. "Do you understand that if you do not follow my orders, this cell will be taken apart and others who will follow orders properly will be put in your place?"

Aiko glared at Xander, "You don't have that kind of pull."

"I'm one of the founding members of the Scooby Gang. Of course, I have that kind of pull. Now get in line, do your jobs, and do them well, or we're going to put someone in Japan who will do them properly."

The Slayer squad looked at each other. It was obvious he was not joking at this bad word to Buffy on how they performed here, and they'd be split up and sent to who knows where. Antarctica maybe? None of the girls wanted to find out, so they decided to play ball. "Fine, Harris. We'll do it your way. But just so we're clear, I don't like you, I don't respect you, but I'll put up with you," Aiko all but spat his name.

"That's fine, nobody likes or respects me anyway," Xander said with a shrug. "I'm usually the guy who fixes holes in the wall and gets donuts. I've practically forgotten what actually being respected feels like. So nothing new here today."

His last few words threw the Slayer squad leader for a loop. How could he talk about being a founding member for the Scooby Gang, going through all this with Buffy, and yet not feel like he has any respect? It didn't make any sense to her. 'Is he a fucking ogre or something with how many layers he has?' Aiko wondered to herself.

The group moved silently through Yomihara, following Alphonse's lead. As they walked, Xander heard cries of women and children and gunshots. It took all his willpower not to run off and help the first person he found in trouble. Demons they may have been, but they were still women, still children. And he had learned from personal experience that not all demons were evil. Just like not all humans were good. As they walked down what he silently hoped were water slicked alleyways, they came across the site he just couldn't ignore. A young girl, her skin as pale as snow with long brown hair tucked to one side in a pig tail while the other covered her left eye, wearing a rather long shirt that went all the way down to her hips that hung off her shoulders. was being accosted by a group of thugs. She was clearly surrounded and uncomfortable with how close they were getting to her. And despite her best efforts, they were not leaving her alone. Xander took a breath, reached into the folds of the coat he was wearing, and pulled out a sawed-off lever action rifle, better known as a mare's leg. He fired off a single round and it blasted one of the thugs in the leg, almost tearing it off, and a booming double barreled shotgun blast followed soon after. Hearing that he had backup in the form of Alphonse, Xander chambered and fired another shot, this one taking off another thug's arm.

The group of five had rapidly whittled now down to one who took off running down the alleyway As Xander approached the girl and began looking her over for wounds, asking. "Young lady, are you alright? Did they hurt you at all?"

"N-N-No I-I'm fine, thanks… to you." The girl spoke in a whispered stutter. She seemed to have a hard time communicating. She looked at Alphonse and gave him a friendly wave.

"Lady Dolores, what are you doing out here all by yourself?" The orc grunted. Seemingly happy that she was ok though.

"You know this kid?" Xander asked, happy that he managed to save an acquaintance of his guide.

"Yeah, something like that. We've met on occasion. I've met her guardian a couple times. I did some work for the lady too." Alphonse replied.

"Should we take her back home then? She'd be safer there, right? Actually, what is she even doing out here in the first place? This place is dangerous for a little kid."

The sound of Dolores' stomach rumbling answered his question. It was so loud, the girl flushed in embarrassment, and she hid her face in her palms.

Xander couldn't help but laugh a little bit, "Oh, you were just hungry. That's the problem," He reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a protein bar. "It's not much, but this will tide you over till we can get you somewhere safe. I keep these on me in case of emergencies. You never know when you're going to get your next meal in my line of work," Dolores stared at the bar for a minute and Xander shook it at her, saying "Take it, go 're hungry, right? I know it's not the most appetizing thing, but it'll do in a pinch." Hesitantly, she took the bar from his hands and unwrapped it, took a bite out of it before she munched away at it.

"Thank you," She said quietly. Her voice was timid and mousy.

Xander ruffled her hair affectionately, "No problem kiddo, but we really have to get going. We need to find this place called Under Eden, and we're looking for somebody who might be being held there."

In response, Dolores whipped out a smartphone and began typing away on it. "Under Eden this way," She turned and began walking in the direction of …. where the thugs had run off to.

Xander put a hand on her shoulder, stopping her, "Wait, you don't need to lead us, you'll just be getting into more danger."

She turned and smiled at him with one brown eye being uncovered by her equally brown bangs, "I'll be safe with you, right, Onii-chan?" She said, giving him a heartwarming smile.

'My heart, I think I just got pierced by an arrow or something?' Xander thought to himself as he felt a sudden pressure in his chest.

'Oh boy,' Alphonse thought to himself, 'I wonder how Lady Ingrid is going to take finding out that her cousin has a crush, that it's a human, that he saved her life, not to mention how badly Lina almost screwed up.'

"All right, fine. But if it even looks like it's going to get dangerous, I want you to hide somewhere that looks safe. Understood?" Receiving a nod from the girl, he turned and said. OK everyone, let's… Where the hell did they go?"

"They left." Dolores said simply, "They're even going the wrong way to find Under Eden."

Xander resisted the urge to face palm. 'Damn it, I asked them to do one thing and that was to follow orders and they can't even do that for five seconds.' Sighing in annoyance, he said. "I'll look for them later. Right now, I need to get to Under Eden. Can you show me the way, Dolores?"

The young demoness nodded and the trio took off into the narrow but crowded streets of Yomihara. Dolores in the lead clinging to Xander's arm, and Alphonse bringing up the rear, his shotgun loaded and ready to bring to bear should it be required. As they walked, Dolores acted as more of a tour guide and pointed out important structures, dangerous areas and other such things. She would occasionally stop and buy food for them at food stalls. Xander thought it looked weird, the fact that octopus tentacles had eyes on them, but it tasted just fine. After about five to ten minutes of stuff like this, he began to wonder to himself. 'Wait, is this a date? This feels like a date. I'm on a mission, not a date.' turning to his guide and lowering his voice so as not to be overheard, he said "Where exactly is Under Eden? I really do need to get someone out of there. It's important, Dolores. Time is of the essence. Not that I don't like spending time with you, but I'm on the clock at the moment."

The young girl huffed seemingly in annoyance before nodding. And leading him back towards the front gate where they had just entered and pointed out a small shop just to the right of it. One that could easily be overlooked if one wasn't actually looking for it. A small sign that was barely lit up in the shadows and pointed down a flight of stairs, said "Under Eden".

Blinking with his one remaining good eye, Xander said, "Wait, it was right there the whole time. So why the heck did you keep leading us around in circles, Alphonse?"

The Orc Mercenary was prompt to respond, "We could have been tailed, boss. I needed to be sure. I had to be sure to shake off anyone who might have been following us. This is Yomihara. There are at least three different major factions vying for this place. Any one of them could have been gunning for us. Edwin Black, Teleutes the King of Death, and I have heard rumors about a about some human demon slayers making a roost in Yomihara if you can believe that.."

"We have nothing to fear from Edwin Black."

Alphonse couldn't help but ask, "How can you be so sure of that boss?"

"Because, I know his dad, and that family knows that just one phone call from me will bring down an unholy spanking down on all of their asses," Xander replied as he crossed the street towards the stairs of Under Eden, moving even faster when he heard the sound of furniture breaking in the establishment.

(...)

Xander found Under Eden in complete chaos as he entered the establishment. Chairs were flying, glass bottles full of expensive liquor were breaking left right and center, in the center of this chaos, the eye of the storm so to speak, was his missing squad of Slayers. 'They ditch me for all of five minutes, and raise all kinds of hell. Now I've got to clean up the mess,' Xander thought to himself as he pulled a Colt 1911 pistol out of his jacket pocket, And fired several shots off into the ceiling to get everyone's attention.

"Just what the fuck is going on in here?!" Xander asked with the tone and authority of a drill Sergeant.

"About time you showed up, Ryoken." Aiko commented. Only for Xander to fire three shots right next to her foot, he'd more than enough of her sass for one day.

"I would highly suggest that you do not speak unless it's to give me a proper explanation for just what the heck you're doing here?"

"I'm getting our missing girl back, unlike you who decided to play hero for some demon," Aiko said with contempt in her tone as her gaze flicked towards Dolores.

Xander rubbed at his remaining eye, his patience running thin with these greenhorn Slayers, "You fucking idiots! Perhaps you didn't get the memo, but not all demons are evil? Just like how, not all humans are good? Or are we just going to ignore all the atrocities Hitler did during World War Two and the fact that this place is in fact owned by a human?"

"That's different though. Demons are… They're demons! Just whose side are you on anyway? Are you a demon lover or something?"

Fixing the Slayer squad leader with a harsh glare, Xander replied, "As a matter of fact, I am. I nearly married a vengeance demon. Her name was Anyanka. Patron Saint of scorned women. That should tell you something."

Aiko wrinkled her nose in disgust, "Why Buffy lets a monster fucker in her organization is beyond me."

"Hey, she started the trend, not me. I just jumped on the bandwagon," Xander retorted, "Ask her about Angel and Spike sometime. That is, if we make it out of here alive."

Aiko scoffed, "You worry too much, Ryoken, this place doesn't even have any guards."

"This place has no guards for you to subdue…And you didn't find that at all suspicious?" Xander said slowly before he ran a hand on his face. "Damn it, what the hell is Buffy teaching you girls?" He walked over to the guy who was bleeding against the Bar and asked, "You're Real, aren't you? The owner of this.," Xander looked around in disgust, trying to decide on a word, before settling on, "Establishment?"

The man in the blood splattered white suit grinned, "I'm just as real as you are, and you must be the owner of these puffed up harlots? I don't suppose you'd be willing to sell some of them for me to recoup the damage they've done to my establishment, would you?"

In response. Xander stomped on his balls, Causing the man to cry out in pain. "I don't trade in flesh, I trade in pain, suffering and death. If you don't tell me what I want to know."

"I see. And just what would you like me to tell you, honored customer?"

Crushing the heel of his booted foot into the man's groin, Xander continued, "Why are there no guards? What type of Juju do you have going on here that you don't need guards?"

"Ah, all right, all right, I'll talk! The girls you're looking for in the back room, The two Taimanin right? I'll release them from their contract I swear. Just stop stepping on my balls?! What the fuck kind of mercenary did they hire to get those two out of here?"

Turning to the orc, Xander asked, "Alphonse, what's a Taimanin?"

"They're demon slaying ninjas, typically women." The bulky Ork grunted out in response.

"Right, thank you Alphonse," Xander replied before turning back to the bar owner, "You're going to bring me every girl you have in this place. And you're going to burn those contracts, magical or otherwise, in front of me. Failure to do so and I will burn this place down with you in it. Do you understand me, Mr. Real?"

"I promise. Shit I swear, just stop stepping on my balls!" and he spoke like he'd sucked an entire tank of helium at this point.

Xander grinned, but there was no kindness or warmth in it. "Good. I'm so glad we could do business together today. Now I'm going to send my girls back there and they're going to come out with everyone." As Xander spoke, he turned and glared at his slayers to get the point across. "We are heroes, after all. We don't leave people behind who are in trouble. Now go."

The Slayer squad didn't need to be told twice. The person they thought was a dog, was in fact a savage wolf. And they had provoked him and they didn't want to push him any further than they already had. So they went to the back rooms and collected anyone they found. It was not a pretty sight back there. They came back out with a trio of women. One was the Slayer they'd come looking for, but she had dead eyes, like that of a fish. They also found two other women. Each of them were wearing string bikinis. One was a dark brown haired girl with a tan. And another had long blue hair. They set them down not too far from Xander against the bar.

"Good job girls, you can follow orders," He turned back to Real and said, "The contracts."

Jutting his thumb behind him, the flesh traitor stuttered out, "In the s-safe b-below the b-b-bar."

Without looking away from the man held at gunpoint Xander spoke, "Satsu, if you would be so kind as to get those for Mr. Real? We can conclude our business here."

"Yes, Sir." Satsu said, jumping behind the bar and ripping the safe out from under it. Easily tearing the door off as if it were made out of tinfoil, and handing Xander the arcane papers that lay within.

"I don't know or care what you have to do to end these contracts, but end them now before I decide to end you. With Lady Dolores' approval no less."

The flesh trader looked at the lady in question, hoping to find salvation, but was found wanting. For he saw no mercy or pity in her eyes, just cold apathy.

"Dolores, do you care if I burn this place down?" Xander asked upon seeing Real's gaze waver over to her.

Dolores shook her head, causing her brown locks to sway about, "Not at all. There are plenty of other brothels within Yomihara. In fact, if this man has done something to displease you, by all means take his life, his livelihood, whatever you choose. With my blessings, of course."

"Much obliged, Now, Mr. Real, the contracts, if you would be so kind."

Real stutters out, "How do I know you're not gonna kill me the moment I cancel the contracts?"

"You don't, but you're just going to have a little faith. Are you a particularly religious man, Mr. Real?"

In response, real spat to the side, "Go to hell if you're going to do it. Just kill me and get it over with."

""So you're refusing to cooperate…" Xander sighed and said, "That's a shame," Before anyone could say or do anything else, he shot Real in both his kneecaps, before going behind the bar picking out a bottle of King's Crown, and setting it just above the man's head. "I'm going to give you one last chance to cooperate, Mr. Real. After that, I'm not responsible for what happens. I'm going to officially wash my hands of you."

Real spat to the side, again. "I'm not giving you a damn thing, you little shit. You're just gonna kill me afterwards anyway."

Xander sighed, but nodded as he stood up, "Damn shame, really," He said as he tipped over the bottle of King's Crown, soaking the flesh merchant in it. "It didn't have to come to this, but I figured it would." He then continued to speak conversationally. "You know I don't drink, Mr. Real? My parents were drunks. Alcoholics, really. I always swore to myself I'd never be like them. That said, I do have my own vices." Xander said as he pulled a cigar out of his jacket pocket. Clipping the very tip off, he proceeded to roast the tobacco inside before he took a puff off of it. He then turned to the two women who he supposed were the Taimanin. They had just been sitting there staring at him and something akin to awe or shock. "I guess we kind of inadvertently saved you two too." He couldn't help but chuckle a little. "You probably think this is justice or something noble like that? Huh?" Xander shook his head, though. As he set his lighter down next to the petite tanned one of the Taimanin. Still lit right next to the alcohol soaked flesh merchant. "This isn't justice, though… This is vengeance. But it's not mine to take," He shook his head. "No. It's yours."

"Oh God, " A look of absolute terror crossed Real's face as a spark of wrathful anger flared in the red-purple eyes of the tanned she looked down at him as he pleaded, " Please, please don't do this… Please."

"Are you a religious man, Mr. Real?" Xander asked again. "Because I hear Hell is pretty hot."

"You fucking cunt! Don't you dare!" Real screamed at the Taimanin, who almost contemptuously kicked the lighter over with her foot, and watched him scream as he burned alive with a small satisfied smile on her face. As the man burned, Xander threw the contracts on the corpse and watched as they went up in bright purple flames. He didn't know if destroying the contracts along with Real's death would nullify the magic, but he sure hoped so. As he watched the paper turn to ash he turned to the little pyromaniac and asked, "Feel better?"

She smiled tiredly and replied, "A little bit. Thanks for the save… Mister?"

"My name is Xander. and I'll be the one rescuing you today. Might I know the name of the ladies I'm saving?" He asked as he picked one woman up in each arm, causing them to quiver and moan as he picked them up. 'Did they both just?' Xander wondered to himself. 'God only knows what kind of hell they've done through for them to react like that,'

The smaller of the two spoke up first, "Mizuki Yukikaze."

"Akiyama Rinko." The older of the two replied.

The fire was beginning to spread around the alcohol slicked floor. "Right, well, that's our cue to get out of here, ladies. Thank you for flying Air Xander. Keep your tray tables in the upright position at all times and please enjoy your flight." he said as he rushed towards the exit.

"Wait, how do we know if the magical contractors weren't off or not? Yukikaze asked with actual fear in her voice.

"What happens if it hasn't?"

"Our limbs will get blown off the minute we cross the threshold… All four of them." Rinko replied, her tone grim.

Xander stopped at the threshold of Under Eden. "Huh. Is that so? OK then. Aiko, you go first with our missing girl."

"You want us to go first and risk one of our own just in case she might have all of her limbs blown off?"

"Didn't you look into her eyes?" Xander shot back just as quickly. "Already dead. The lights are on, but nobody's home. Better to have her make one final heroic sacrifice than kill two people who don't need to die."

"You're a sick fuck you know that, Ryoken?" Aiko said, even as she looked into the eyes of her sister Slayer and saw nothing therein. No spark of intelligence, no flame of life. Nothing stirred within her orbs. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and her eyes were very much vacant.

"If you want, I'll carry her across the threshold?" Xander offered. "It's my call, it's my fuck up, And it's my responsibility if this is a clusterfuck."

"No, I'll do it. Don't you dare touch her!" Aiko said, pulling her sister Slayer away from Xander as if he were some kind of monster. Before she took a deep, shuddering breath, and holding the vegetative Slayer in her arms, walked across the threshold of Under Eden. For a moment, nothing happened and everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief. Then it rained blood as all of the Slayer's limbs were simultaneously blown off by some unknown force.

"Well, we're not going out this way. And we can't really afford to go back," Xander said as the flames continued to eat away at the bar.

"Perhaps we can be of assistance?" a voice spoke from the shadows moments before a trio of women dropped from the overhang above Under Eden's entrance.

The first was a woman of average height with black hair, green eyes, wearing a skintight purple and gray trimmed bodysuit. She had a severe look on her face and had the weight of responsibility and years of hardship reflecting in her eyes. It was a look Xander knew well. He saw it every time he looked in Buffy's eyes.

The woman standing next to her, had short bright orange hair, vibrant blue eyes, and was wearing a burgundy, gray, and orange trimmed bodysuit. She looked to be maybe a decade younger than the person in front of her. She had a vibrant air about her. As if he was full of energy.

But it was the last and youngest member of the group that made Xander stare for a second, mainly because she had boobs twice the size of her head. And she was young on top of that, maybe nineteen to twenty years old. She was wearing some sort of ritualistic kimono. Over a pink and white bodysuit. Her hair was long,dark, and straight, while her brown eyes shined with innocence.

"I'm guessing these ladies belong to you?" Xander said in a non threatening tone as he nodded towards the two women in his arms.

"That they do. Thank you for the impromptu rescue. Oh mysterious stranger." Even though this woman was in charge, it was clear she wasn't incapable of jokes or levity even in a situation like this. she spoke a brief command to the young women beside her, "Sakura, provide her first aid if you would. And Mikami-chan, if you would be so kind as to remove the contracts on both Yukikaze and Rinko-chan?"

"Hai Asagi-sama!" Both women saluted, doing wonderful things to their boobs Xander noticed, and then got to work doing their assigned tasks. With Sakura manifesting tangible black shadows that sealed over the nubs of the slayer's limbs, while Chizu meanwhile. Slashed two fingers through the air, leaving a golden tear only for it to expand into a magic circle in the form of a pentacle. She was covered in a golden light for a moment before she did a hand seal Xander had seen in anime before and said "Kai!"

A brief glow surrounded the girls in Xander's arms before he felt them both utter a sigh of relief and relax. He gave the girl Chizu a smile, "I think it worked… do we dare test it though?"

"W-Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Right, Rinko?" Yukikaze said nervously.

"Right, and if we stay here we're sure to burn to death, we actually can survive without our limbs."

"Well yeah, but that doesn't mean we want to lose them in the first place!" Yukikaze retorted.

Rinko nodded in agreement, "True, but if I have to choose death by fire or living with cybernetics I know which one I'm picking."

"I guess, but both kinda suck if you ask me," Yukikaze complained.

"Um girls?" Xander said.

Rinko grimaced, but tried her best to put up a brave front for her friend, "Yes, but what choice do we have?"

"Ladies?" The cyclops tried again.

"None I guess… I suppose in retrospect I shouldn't have set Real on fire as satisfying as that felt at the time…" Yukikaze mused to herself.

"Don't feel bad," Rinko said shaking her head, "I would've done the same in your position,"

"Oi, titty monster and cutting board!" Xander yelled at them both, being fed up with being ignored.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING A TITTY MONSTER/CUTTING BOARD?!" Both Taimanin screamed at Xander at the same time.

"We're out and you're both just fine, well, maybe not when she gets ahold of you…" Xander nodded to Asagi who was looking at the two in annoyance as she massaged her temples.

"Asagi-sama!" Both of the wayward Taimanin greeted their CO and principal as they got out of Xander's grip.

Putting her hands on her hips, Asagi sighed through her facemask, "You two… what am I going to do with you both? You've really stepped in it by going gungho this time. Disobeying orders, property destruction, and prostitution."

"We didn't go that far!" Yukikaze said hastily. "Also wouldn't that fall under bojutsu anyway? Aren't we trained for that?"

Asagi was quick to point out, "Akiyama maybe, you can't even infiltrate a building properly Mizuki."

Yukikaze was quick to hang her head. She wasn't wrong per say… she just didn't like gropey perverts is all. And when it came to Bojutsu or the Bedroom Arts of Seduction… well she could do it! If the guy in question had certain… predilections… usually towards children. God, she hated her figure. So, so much… 'Not only did Asagi-sama herself have to come save us, someone else beat her to it making her waste her time, but the cherry on top of this shit sundae is that we learned nothing about mom! And I'm permanently super horny to boot!'

"So," Xander said after a moment, "Is this the part where you kill us all to keep your secret organization a secret or what?"

Asagi looked at him as if he'd grown a second head, "What?! No! What kind of person would that make me if I kill the group that rescues my people?" She pulled down her face mask revealing a pretty smile and a heart shaped face. "Igawa Asagi, thank you for saving these two."

"Harris Alexander, no problem. And not turning around and backstabbing me is a nice change of pace, I'll admit."

'Who has he been dealing with up to this point that he's actually expecting the backstab?' Asagi wondered. "Well, I do have a lot of questions for you Harris-san, but this isn't exactly the place to be asking them, nor around present company." She glanced at Dolores when she said this.

"Alphonse, could you do me a favor and please see Dolores home for me? Something tells me I'm going to be doing my least favorite thing over the next couple hours… paperwork," Xander said with a sigh. He hated paperwork, the only bit he kinda enjoyed was helping plan projects at his old construction job but messing with blueprints wasn't really the same thing as filing an incident report.

"Can do boss man," He then nodded respectfully at Asagi, "Asagi, always a pleasure."

"Alphonse, nice to see you're still alive," She said, giving him a courteous nod in response.

"Right then, come along Lady Dolores. It's time to get you home." The Orc Merc said only for his charge to saunter up to Xander wrap her slender spade-tipped tail around his waist, stand on his combat boots on her tiptoes just so she could plant a chaste kiss on his cheek. As she pulled away her cheeks crimson, she whispered into his ear, "Don't forget about me, and… come back and play… sometime… soon… ok, Darling!"

"Well, I… I'll do what I can, okay Doll?" Xander said coming up with a nickname for her on the spot.

Both Dolores' ears and tail wiggled frantically in response, which Xander found to be adorably cute. She waved goodbye as she skipped off down the main thoroughfare with Alphonse, completely unaffected by the burning building she left behind. 'Demons, destroyed buildings are always an afterthought to them,' Xander thought ruefully, as he turned to Aiko and said, "Slayer Aiko, you are to report back to the local HQ and send a full mission brief back to homebase. Be sure to tell them I've willfully gone with these… Taimanin in an attempt to secure prosthesis for our girl here… provided we can get her mind back first."

"Yes sir, I'll be sure to tell them exactly what happened here today." Aiko said, her tone letting Xander know exactly what she thought of him.

He just nodded, "You do that," Turning to Asagi he said, "Shall we get going, Igawa-san?"

Asagi nodded before turning to this Slayer, a new group she had only recently heard rumors of and said, "I would strongly suggest you keep your report to your superiors factual. Bias can lead to all sorts of… unwanted problems. Do you understand me?"

Aiko glared at the ninja but nodded. "Yeah,"

"Good, come along Harris-san. I'll have to carry you while Chizu and Sakura take Rinko and Yukikaze off your hands. Simply because I don't think you can keep up with us."

Xander just shook his head, "I'm not offended. I am, unfortunately, quite used to it at this point. Just please, no princess carry? Let me have a small smidgen of pride?" He half-jokingly begged.

In response, Asagi put him in a fireman's carry, throwing him over her shoulders, "Better?"

"So much, thank you, are you going to be able to run like this though?" Xander's question caused the other Taimanin to laugh.

"You should know that nee-chan, I mean, the commander, is the fastest Taimanin alive," Sakura quickly corrected herself.

He knew he shouldn't have, but Xander just couldn't help himself, "Let's see how quick you can run then, Flash."

Asagi smirked, "You asked for it," She used her Ninja Art, the Falcon Art and they both disappeared in a blur of speed, causing her subordinates to curse under their breath and having to sprint doubletime to have a hope of catching up.

Now alone at the scene, Satsu asked her leader, "What do we do, Aiko?"

"Exactly what Ryoken said. We go back to HQ and report this up the chain of command. From here on, it's Buffy's problem, not ours. Let's get out of here. Our sister needs proper medical attention."

(...)

Xander rubbed his sore neck as he sent Asagi a mild glare with his single remaining eye. As he sat up on a plush couch in an office he could only assume belonged to the woman in front of him, "Was it really necessary to knock me out?"

"Sorry," Asagi apologized as she poured him some tea to help with the headache, "But it was for security purposes."

Throwing back the drink like a shot of whiskey, the handyman turned Watcher replied, "I get it, believe me I do, but a little bit of warning next time would be nice."

"I really am sorry Harris-san," Asagi apologized again. "More tea?"

He shook his head, "Nah I'm good, thanks. So you need to debrief me right?" he surmised as he worked the crick out of his neck. "What do you need to know?"

"I was hoping you could tell us a bit about that Slayer organization of yours."

Xander's reply was as swift as it was flat, "Denied. The only thing you'll get out of me is my name, rank, and number."

Asagi expected as much but she figured she might as well try. "Fair enough, but surely you can see it from our perspective. A new organization of super-powered terrorists suddenly appears one day after destroying a small town in California? It doesn't exactly make you look good. Plus there's the fact that your people robbed that Swiss Bank."

Xander held up his hands, "Wait, wait hold up. We did what now?" Xander rubbed at his remaining eye. "Damn it Buffster, what did you do while I was gone?" He said, "I didn't know about the bank job, as for the rest… It's complicated. To the point I'm not getting into it unless you're willing to torture me."

Asagi shook her head, astounded at the lows this young man assumed she and her people would sink to, "Goodness, we're not monsters Mr. Harris. We just wanted to know a bit about a possible ally organization, that's all." Asagi said as she leaned back in her chair and sighed. "While you're here we'd like to give you a full physical before we fit you with a prosthetic eye. Consider it a thank you for saving two of my people from an illegal op."

Xander blinked his one remaining eye at that. "Seriously? I mean I'm not complaining but I'm also wondering what your real angle is?"

Asagi lowered and shook her head as she chuckled a little, "Do you just not believe in the kindness of people or are you just naturally this paranoid?"

To which he replied in a faux-chipper tone, "My paranoia was taught, thank you very much! I've been screwed over too many times by supposed allies not to look a gift horse in the mouth."

"I really do just want to thank you for saving two of my people… is that really so hard to believe?" pressed Asagi trying to convey her sincerity.

"Yes." Xander retorted without missing a beat.

Asagi sighed and stood up, "Well, they say actions speak louder than words. Come on, let's get you sorted out."

Xander followed Asagi out of her office down tatami mat laden floors, and down a hallway upon which were black and white pictures of what Xander assumed were previous leaders of her organization. As she walked she grabbed his hand citing, "Can't have you getting lost."

'I thought the Japanese were supposed to be shy about PDA? Visual Novels, you lied to me!' Xander thought to himself. She led him out of a building and down a dirt road to a small clinic. The bell rang as she entered and called. "Himehagi-chan, are you in? I've got a patient for you."

A voluptuous woman with her purple hair up in a bun, wearing a green turtleneck under a doctor's coat appeared behind the visitor's glass. "Asagi-sama! Please come in, come in."

"Patient's name?" she asked as she prepared to write things down on a clipboard.

"Alexander Lavelle Harris," He supplied.

"Birth date?"

"First of January, 1980."

"Any Allergies?"

"Does magic and vampires count?"

Himehagi chuckled, "No, I don't think so. No allergies. Any medications I should know about?"

"Just a bucket load of painkillers. Gotta deal with getting beaten with things several times stronger than me somehow."

Himehagi muttered to herself, "Gonna need to check your liver enzymes." She motioned for him to enter a room that had various motivational pictures on the walls most of which featured cats, "All right, please have a seat while I take your blood pressure. With your permission, I'd like to do some blood work as well since those bucket loads of painkillers you've been taking have me worried about the shape your liver is in."

Xander hesitated a moment before saying, "Sure as long as you promise not to do any magical bullshit with it."

Himehagi raised a hand to her heart, "I promise, I swore a hippocratic oath after all."

Xander sighed, "Do what you gotta do then, sensei." Xander said as he stuck his arm out and looked away.

"Is Xander-san afraid of needles? I promise it's just a little poke," Himehagi said soothingly.

To which he replied, "It's not so much the needles but the fact it reminds me of all the times I almost became a vampire's late night breakfast. So the sooner you get this done, the less likely you are to trigger my heaping mountain of PTSD."

"Right, gonna hurry then," She said as she quickly jabbed him in the arm and obtained several vials of sanguine fluid from him. "There we go! All done!" She said cheerily though Xander looked a little pale and she couldn't tell if it was from the blood drawing or his own fear.

"So you've fought vampires a lot then?" Asagi asked conversationally as she watched the young man calmly breathe as his blood was taken.

"Since I was sixteen," he replied, "It's been an eleven year crusade now, and I have no intention of quitting anytime soon."

"How did you lose the eye, if you don't mind my asking?" Himehagi asked.

Rubbing at his eyepatch, Xander replied, "It was gouged out by a demonically possessed catholic priest… so yes, everything you've heard about them is true."

"Well, that's disturbing." Asagi said after a moment of awkward silence.

"It'll take up to two weeks for me to get your blood work back and for a prosthetic eye to be made for you Harris-san, is there somewhere you can stay in the meantime?" Himehagi asked

"Umm, no?" Xander replied honestly.

Clearing her throat Asagi informed him, "Actually Mizuki Yukikaze, one of the girls you saved, opened her home to you. She wanted me to let you know."

Scratching the back of his head, the vampire hunter replied awkwardly, "Oh, well, I guess I'll take her up on that offer, thanks."

"Great! So now, I know where to reach you when your test results come back!" Himehagi said cheerfully.

"Yay," Xander said in false cheer. "Can we go now, no offense Doc, but the less time I have to spend here, the happier I'll be."

"Go go, keep Yukikaze-chan company, and who knows, maybe with you around, she will actually show up to her next physical." She called after him as he all but ran from the exam room.

Pushing off the wall, Asagi said, "I'd better go catch him before he gets lost… Do you have a report for me on Akiyama and Mizuki's conditions?"

Himehagi sighed, "All tests indicate it's the same as your own, Asagi-sama. Their body sensitivity has increased by a factor of three thousand."

Asagi clenched her fists so hard her knuckles popped, "I was afraid of that, did you prescribe them medication?"

"You mean the medication I wish you'd take?" The doctor half-chided, "Yes I did, but even then, it'll only do so much. Fufufu, who knows maybe while he's there, Harris-kun can offer to help Yukikaze-chan with her problem?"

Asagi shook her head, "He seems far too polite for that, and paranoid, he might think she's a honeytrap," Asagi said before she turned to leave.

Only for Himehagi to stop her when her computer beeped and a screen popped up, "Ah Asagi-sama, you may want to look at this. I ran Harris-san's DNA through our database as is standard procedure. I didn't expect anything to pop up but…"

Asagi looked at the screen and couldn't stop blinking.

The machine showed a picture of Fuuma Danjo, leader of the Fuuma Revolt, and it said the man was a positive match for Harris-san's father…

'Well,' she thought to herself, 'This changes everything.'

(...)

Word Count: 8,855 Number of Pages: 18 Date Completed: 7/14/2024

(...)

AN: Welcome everyone one and all to an idea that's been stewing in my brain for awhile now. Xander in the dark and… rather perverse world of Taimanin. Finally he gets to be a badass on his own terms. Buffy gets to be the Slayer, Willow can be the Witch, and Xander can be the Demon Slaying Ninja. Seems appropriate. Anyway, here's my editors/co-authors/peanut gallery here to throw in their two cents.

Snowy: Well then it looks like Xander just got entangled in something new. The jokester seems to be wizened and aged by the experiences he went through. Let us see how this world will change for the better or worse. Also if you feel the desire to help and don't have money for a subscription look us up and buy us a coffee.

First Hassan: Gahahahahaha! You just couldn't help yourself can you Xander? You always land into some crazy situations eh?…...Hello everyone First Hassan here and today we are bringing you a new story cooked up by the CEO Bubbajack, this time with Xander being in the world where degeneracy has no limits. Let's see how he'll handle this situation-well what the hell? He can take it, why? 'Cause he's Xander! Thank you guys for reading our story, if you want more or want to be a chapter ahead, head to Bubba' account or his SubscriberStar where it hasn't been edited by yours truly. I'll see you guys later! (Turning around while blue flames surround Hassan before disappearing).

Antagonist:

Loamy Coffee: Experience can change people in ways you can hardly imagine. I have to wonder what Buffy is teaching the Slayers if they are robbing banks and treating Xander like this? Still, I am eager to see what this revelation will lead to.

Thanks Again for reading! This has been an Inkblot Bros Production! Peace!