"Hey, hey people, hold on to your butts," Tangmo unclasped his seatbelts and started walking down the row of seats currently occupied by a company of Cadians, amongst them were Leilatha, Krillen and the captains. The Valkyries carrying them, as always piloted by Tyra and Victoria, were one of the hundreds in the first wave now flying across the void toward their latest theater of operation. Drawing his data-pad, prompting the Cadian officers to do the same, Tangmo went about tapping the screen, "because the planet Darwin IX is not what you would call mundane."
"Doesn't look any different from all the other places we've been to," Orhul shrugged as he skimmed the briefing, "beside the biomes being rather intact, quite idyllic too judging by the atmospheric readings, this planet doesn't seem all that special."
"It is two times the size of Jupiter, the gas giant that is the planetary neighbor of Holy Terra," Leilatha's fingers danced swiftly over the data-pad, "making it our biggest battlefield to date."
"A most suitable place to fight the orks," Luva spoke up and everyone within earshot made very pleased murmurs. "If I may lady commissar, I believe I speak for the entire battlegroup when I say this campaign will be a nice change of pace."
"And not just any random WAAAGGHHH too, but a great warband led by our old friend Kim Jor Urrk," Tangmo's chuckle was quickly taken up by the Cadians. "Seriously though, like what Luva said, I'm glad we're fighting orks for a change, because killing Chaos was getting really fucking repetitive."
"Stand by people, we're entering the atmosphere now," Tyra's voice blared across the intercom and the hull started shaking as the Valkyrie breached the planet proper. It was a normal routine that Tangmo had gotten thoroughly used to, the vibration usually lasted for one or two minutes, the current quaking however was reaching the ten minute mark.
"Hey Tyra, what the hell is going on?!" Krix gave voice to the concern on everyone's mind, "why are we still shaking?!"
"Because the planet is big, didn't you read the briefing?!" Tyra shot back. "Due to its abnormal size, the stratosphere is larger compare to the other places we've been to. Now sit your arses down, we're almost…there! We're through, happy?!"
The exhalations and sighs rippling down the hull indicated that yes, all aboard was very happy. Bright cerulean sky greeted them from beyond the portholes, flooding the metallic interior with summery light as the Valkyrie stabilized and the quaking dissipated to low rumbling.
"So far so good," Meko glanced at a nearby porthole, eyes narrowed on the endless blue. "Hopefully we won't be running into any ork patrols."
"Luckily for us, even if the orks knew of our point of entry they will not be able to scramble their jets in a timely manner," Krillen held up his data-pad. "Again, the planet is big, and the orks are operating on the other side of the continent we're heading to, they're simply too far away to do anything."
"How large is the WAAGGGHH we're facing?" Luva asked.
"Our estimation place the orkish horde at numbering close to thirty millions, the figure is likely to rise once more data is collected," Leilatha said and the Cadians within earshot whistled playfully. "Intelligence gathered from this side of the Rift indicated that Kim Jor Urrk has been conducting successful invasions and raids across Segmentum Ultima, Segmentum Obscura and Segmentum Solar, his many conquests had attracted millions of orks to his banner. Besides Ghazghkull Thraka, he now ranks as one of the top orkish threat to the Imperium."
"The greenskin has been keeping himself busy, but so have we," Krillen grinned and the 89th Cadian roared heartily in response. "He's probably here to plunder the planet's natural resources."
"And the STC, and all the processed materials on the planet," Tangmo swiftly tapped his data-pad and summoned a holographic map. "Apparently the Imperium of Man has visited Darwin IX before."
"A long interval between visitations, if the overgrown flora is anything to go by," Krillen joined Tangmo and pointed at the map. "What was the purpose of this facility we're heading to? Judging by the lack of industrialization, I would assume that the original objective was not successful."
"You're right about that, the last time we receive any contact from Darwin IX was…shit, five thousand years ago," Tangmo made a face as he skimmed the lines of data beside the map. "From what Albert and Mary were able to gather, a joint operation between a Ministorum sanctioned industrial consortium and a cabal of Magos Biologis of the Mechanicus made planet fall. Apparently Darwin IX is rich in resources needed for the Imperium's war machines, and the consortium possessed a STC with blueprints of automated factories and machines that collects and refines ores into ready to use materials."
"Now that's handy," Krillen nodded. "I am surprise the Mechanicus allowed the use of a STC so blatantly in their presence. Did this circumstance lead to a conflict between the consortium and the Biologis cabal? Was it the reason everything went to the Warp?"
"If that was the case then the STC wouldn't still be here, along with a very intact and very large refinery complexes and mines, which we're heading too by the way," Tangmo stroke his chin thoughtfully as Leilatha and the Cadian main characters drew closer to the digital map. "We can rule Tyranids out as the cause for this place going silence, a biome this rich won't survive the Hive Mind's notice for long if a Lictor was already operating in the area. That leaves…hell, basically everything else."
"Great, so it could still be a bunch of Chaos fuckers again," Krix groaned audibly.
"Or it could be the orks themselves who had caused this," Luva spared Krix a condescending roll of the eyes, "hence the reason why Kim Jor Urrk is currently on this planet."
"It's not orks you idiot, if it was then this place would've been fucked to the Warp and back by now," Krix shot back and Luva can find no words to counter the flamer captain's very correct observation. "In case you haven't been paying attention, everything seems fine until Kim Jor Urrk shows up."
"Regardless of what had caused the collapse of this manufactorum colony, we shall face it with fury befitting that of the Militarum," Leilatha cut sharply into the banter, causing Krix and Luva to clamp their mouths shut. "I would therefore suggest you save your energy for the fight to come and not waste it on needless argument, something I'm sure you two will do on the battlefield regardless."
The simmering tension that was starkly prevalent before evaporated as the three women traded low, amiable laughter. Although the battlegroup had always regarded Leilatha with awe and fear, being the more traditional leaning sort of commissar compared to Tangmo and Cain, she had since been trying, and succeeding, it making herself more approachable to the guardsmen, done in the form of no-nonsense but heartfelt small talks she shared with the fighting men and women of the Militarum. Her genuine willingness to listen and help those under her command had won her the hearts of many guardsmen. When the camaraderie died down, Leilatha was opening her mouth to part more words when warning alarms, accompanied by blinking red lights, blared across the hull.
"Shit! Everybody take your fucking seats and strap in!" Tyra's voice blared across the intercom as the Cadians swiftly returned to their seats. Being the badass Bangkokian that he was, Tangmo ignored Tyra's warning and remained standing. "Prepare for sharp maneuvers and keep your parachute jets handy!"
"What is happening?" Leilatha asked. "Have we run into ork air force?"
"Not orkish aircrafts. Hang on, I'm trying to get a reading now," Tangmo, like the rest of the passengers, did not appreciate Tyra's pregnant silent. "…What in the fuck?"
"See Tyra, that's the last thing we want to hear right now," Tangmo piped up and, with Krillen and Leilatha at his side, went over to the porthole between Korri and Ovin. "Can you please articulate the situation better? As in, how fucked are we?"
"Sorry, it's just…the reading I'm getting of the bogeys are biological in nature," Tyra doesn't sound like she believed her own words, "and larger than our transport ships? Oi Victoria, are you reading this right?! These data can't be correct!"
"It is correct!" Victoria, Navigator Octavia's daughter, shot back sharply. "And unless every Valkyrie in our squadron has also suffered the same, simultaneous malfunction, I can confirm that five extremely large biological organisms are directly beneath us and closing in."
"I can't see shit!" Tangmo groaned as he unsuccessfully tried to get a glimpse of these so-call biological organisms. "Yo Tyra, are those things coming up to attack us? Are they hostile?"
"Actually, we're the one running into them," Tyra, having now calmed down a bit, had become more concise and direct in her report. "The flight trajectory seems to indicate that they just happen to be heading in the same direction as we do, doesn't make them any less dangerous though." There was a series of clicking sounds before Tyra continued. "Adopt a loose formation but don't stray off, stick together, we should be getting visual any moments now."
The Valkyrie formation made their descent, slow and careful, a most mundane affair when aerial maneuvering was concern. What was not mundane however was the sudden gust of wind billowing against the aircraft, hitting with enough force that the entire hull shook dangerously, as if they've just entered a turbulent vortex. Tangmo was starting to wonder what else could go wrong when the portholes on the portside suddenly went black. Instinctively reaching for his laspistol, a futile gesture all things considered, Tangmo peered out of the porthole and found a fucking eye staring back at him, an eye that was bigger than the entire circular window.
"Okay…" Tangmo took a single step back, Korri and Ovin scrambled off their seat with terrified squeals to come and huddled behind him. He blinked several times, and was greeted by a pulsing luminesce iris, pupil and veins, and holy fuck it's like the eye was looking singularly at him. "Shits not going away – alright people, be honest with me, is there a gigantic fucking eye outside the Valkyrie? And is the damn thing staring at me?"
"It is, on both counts," Krillen nodded, shocked but unable to do anything besides gawk at the enormous orb rolling curiously at them.
"Hey Tyra," Tangmo tapped his earbud, "you mind filling us in on what is happening outside, because I'm about to shit myself right now."
"You and me both," Tyra replied breathlessly, but if Tangmo judged the tone correctly she was not in any distress. "By the Holy Throne of Terra, they're animals, big gigantic animals like the one you see in ancient scriptures, leviathans warring with the God Emperor and the Primarchs."
"Are they a threat to us?" Leilatha cut into Tyra's wistful explanation. "What of the other Valkyries in the squadron?"
"That's a negative Leilatha," Tyra went on. "And from the chatters, the rest of the squadron is accounted for, we're keeping in formation but steering clear of the beasts. Tangmo, Leilatha, the creatures are flying parallel to us, what do we do with them?"
"We sure as shit ain't gonna shoot them, I swear to the fucking God Emperor I'll blam the first moron who gets trigger happy," Tangmo warned lowly, more than sure that everyone who heard would think twice before getting twitchy fingers. "Tyra, tell the formation to steer clear of the beasts, the sooner we get to our landing zone the better."
"Got it lord commissar, preparing to descent now…"
"Tyra, do you read me?" Commander Ae-Shin, the battlegroup's ace pilot, cut in before Tyra can finish her sentence. "Come in, do you copy?"
"I hear you Ae-Shin," Tyra responded, the clear urgency in Ae-Shin's tone was clear. "What's happening?"
"Your formation is heading to a new landing zone," Ae-Shin told her. "I'm sending you the coordinates right now."
"…Are you fucking serious?!" Tyra blurted. "That's four hundred kilometers away from the initial LZ, and it's covered in a dense forest, we'll be easy targets for the orks!"
"That's the sparsest patch of ground we can find, and the nearest to the original destination," Ae-Shin continued, her tone growing more heavy and sharp. "As for orks, there are no greenskins within a thousand kilometers of your location."
"Then why are heading to a new LZ?" Despite her complaints, Tangmo can feel Tyra correcting the Valkyrie's course.
"I'm sure you've already seen the flying creatures," Ae-Shin said dryly. "Let's just say a beast of similar size currently occupy your original landing zone."
"Oh great, more monsters," Tyra groaned audibly. "Is it bigger than the ones we ran into? I sent you some pictures by the way."
"Just got it, thanks…the thing at the landing zone is bigger," Ae-Shin grunted. "And its terrestrial bound, no wings, but it has the bulk of a mountain and is scarily spry."
"Fantastic, not like the orks are enough of a problem," Tyra was not happy with this current development. "Is the terrestrial beast a threat to the landing party? Does the air force have a plan to proceed?"
"As per lady exarch Yuki's recommendation, the air force is task with bombarding the beast," if Tangmo read Ae-Shin's voice correctly, the ace commander did not like this strategy. "Personally, I am very skeptical of this plan. The thing is larger than an Imperator Titan, and although they're flesh and blood…by the Throne, I hope our arsenals will be enough to put it down."
"Of course it will, now shut the hell up and do as you're told!" Yuki entered the conversation snappily, earning a slew of impolite Korean sounding words from Ae-Shin. Unfortunately for her the Japanese exarch understood every word. "What was that Ae-Shin?! Did you just call me a stuck up pointy ear bitch?!"
"No mam, just going over the latest data," Ae-Shin betrayed nothing but calm placidity.
"That's what I thought," Yuki snarled out the words. "And would you calm down? I'm Japanese I know exactly what to do when it comes to fighting kaijus. You buried them under overwhelming firepower until those fuckers either die or run away, easy!"
"I'm sorry, but are we watching the same genre of film right now?" Tangmo cut in before Ae-Shin can say anything that will result in her getting a rude visit from Yuki in the dead of night. "Because I vividly recall that every time the JSDF went up against Gojira, Gamera, or any of Ultraman's kaiju buddies, they all got their asses creamed in the most embarrassing way possible. I mean, shit, how do we even know our guns will be effective?!"
"Well we wouldn't fucking know unless we try, won't we?!" Yuki shot back. "Now shut the fuck up already, we're totally gonna win this!"
"Famous last word of every JSDF ever," Tangmo deadpanned resignedly.
"I don't see you coming up with a better idea!" Yuki snapped. "Come on then, let's hear your plan to fight the kaijus."
"Alright, I got nothing, and I'm not stopping you from ordering Ae-Shin to carpet bomb the kaijus either," Tangmo held up his hands in surrender and Yuki gave a victorious huff. "You know best I suppose. Oh Ae-Shin, if the kaiju took too long to dispatch disengage the attack immediately so the ground force can have a crack at them. Remember, the orks are the real enemy, safe the missiles for them."
"As you command, lord commissar."
"Yeah, yeah, we gotcha."
Ae-Shin and Yuki terminated their transmission the same moment the Valkyrie started to slow, and now that the wind weren't buffeting them at a breakneck speed Tangmo was able to hear the piercing call of the flying kaijus. Glancing out of the porthole, Tangmo felt his jaw dropped at the sight of the vast winged leathery canvas flapping to a serene rhythm, the movement of every beast mesmerizing in its synchronicity, the size of the kaijus were breathtaking to behold, easily rivaling the great constructs of mankind and Aeldari. They were flying away in the northerly direction, which Tangmo was very grateful for after catching sight of the fuck huge scythe like talons curving from the end of their muscular, veiny hind legs and forearms.
"Okay, seriously, that's pretty fucking majestic," Tangmo made a goofy face when the green canopies of the new landing zone rose up to meet them, the leafy blanket was wide and encompassing, the sort of trees that were native to his home country of Thailand, the ground nowhere to be seen, "that's gonna be a bit of a problem."
"Fucking hell, stand by people, we're taking another pass over the LZ," Tyra announced as the Valkyrie formation started circling the green expanse, and the longer Tangmo watched the landscape rolled by the more it became apparent that there was no opening in the thick canopy. "Merciful Throne, I can't find a place to land!"
"Calm down Tyra, we got this," Tangmo walked to the large sliding door and tapped his earbud. "Take us in as close as you can."
"Crikey, don't tell me you're going to jump on the trees," Tyra said in disbelief, having unwittingly read Tangmo's intention.
"That's the idea dude," Tangmo chirped brightly and pressed the big red button beside the doors, disengaging the locks, and slid the thick plate of metal open. Gust of lukewarm wind buffeted his face, which greatly surprised Tangmo because he was expecting Bangkok heat. When the gale lessened, Tangmo crouched down and took in the leafy roof before him. "Tyra, how far are we from the ground?"
"Almost thirty meter," Tyra responded after a moment. "Seriously, are you contemplating climbing down the damn thing?"
"Hey, I'm not gonna do this alone," Tangmo smiled brightly at the very unsure looking Cadians. "So we're basically ten storeys off the ground. Now, if my math and biology is correct, something this big should be strong enough to support the weight of a few hundred guardsmen."
"Theoretically," Tyra was obviously shrugging on the other end. "What are you going to do?"
"I'm jumping," Tangmo nodded and Orhul and Meko grabbed the thick cables situated beside the sliding door and tossed it outside. When the tail end hit the canopy, Meko clamped down the cable with a press of a button, and Tangmo pulled on the taunt length a few times, just to be sure. "Okay, this looks good enough," the Thai commissar then tapped his earbud. "All guardsmen, standby but do not descend yet, me and the Cadians are gonna test the LZ first. Be on high alert, something tells me the plants and wildlife on this planet are not friendly."
"Make ready, if you see anything that's not humans or Aeldari, strafe them to hell," Krillen's order prompted the Cadian to align themselves across the opened door, lasguns honed unwavering forward. "You know, we could let other people go first for once."
"Fuck that, we have our awesome reputation to keep bro," Tangmo took the cable into both his hands, held it tight at the ready, then quirked a brow at Krillen. "You getting cold feet on me?"
"No chance in the Warp that's happening," Krillen growled at the challenge and took up his own portion of the cable. "I suppose you want to go first?"
"I am, but don't jump after me until I give the signal," Tangmo took a deep breath, tightened his grips on the cable, braced his legs, and then in one smooth motion pushed himself into the open air. Locking his limbs around the thick length of coiled meshes and wires and ropes, Tangmo kept his gaze fixed downward, unblinking as the green, rippling floor drew closer and closer. Then, when he judged the distant to be safe, Tangmo let go of the cable and dropped the rest of the way. Knees bent as his studded sabaton made contact with the crackling roof of rippling, verdant emerald, Tangmo inhaled deeply, waiting for the twigs, branches and leaves to snap and send him plummeting to his death. But beside a few scary sounding crackles, the tree held firm.
"Holy shit, I'm fucking alive," Tangmo laughed like an idiot and gave the treetop a few stomping jumps, tempting fate a bit, thankfully the Norns and the Moirai weren't fickle that day and nothing broke. "Fuck yeah I'm alive bitches!"
"I am very happy for you," Leilatha deadpanned in his earbud and Tangmo glanced up to see his girlfriend staring down at him from beside Krillen. "The ground won't give out beneath us then?"
"Oh yeah, get your asses down here," Tangmo waved the Cadian over then swept his gaze at the other Valkyries hovering nearby. "Deploy along the treetop people, nice and slowly, it might be able to support our weight but I doubt any quick movement will bode well for us, the damn thing is a tree after all. Spread out, safeties off, and keep your eyes peeled above and below, we're in the danger zone now."
A hearty round of vigorous 'yes sir!' answered Tangmo as the Valkyries started descending in orderly groups, cables coiling on to the treetop as guardsmen began scaling down to join the Cadians, all of whom had already evicted Tyra's plane.
"Is everybody off?" Tangmo squint his eyes at the Valkyrie's cockpit.
"They are," Tyra flashed him a thumbs up. "What do you want us to do now?"
"Go back the Immortal Spirit and get the Valkyrie refueled, the size of the planet is definitely gonna be a drain on the gas," Tangmo told her, and out of the corner of his eyes he saw the other regiments taking defensive positions across the tree. "By the time you're done, we would probably have an idea of what to do next."
"Copy that. And you're right, forty percent of the fuel had been used up," Tyra waved her goodbye and the Valkyrie's thrusters burned a radiant blue as it turned around and dashed back into the sky, a gust of hot air blasting over the Cadian, "stay safe people, give me a call if you need anything."
"Be wary of the flying creatures Tyra, Emperor speed," Leilatha raised her fist in a goodbye before giving the strange landscape a critical look. Her foot tapping an agitated tune, Leilatha turned to Tangmo with a quirked brow. "We have successfully reached the landing zone, how do we proceed?"
"Logic dictates that we go down," Tangmo tightened the strap of the lasgun across his shoulder, crouched down, grabbed a large frond and peeled it back. He grunted when the sight that greeted him was a thick mess of interlocking branches. "You know what, fuck it, I say we shoot the damn thing, make a big hole, and climb down."
"You know lord commissar, you have had many crazy ideas in the past," Korri began with an extremely unimpressed face, "but this have to be the stupidest one yet. We have no idea what the structural makeup of the tree is like or what's going to happen if we randomly shoot it."
"What if we shoot the wrong branch and the entire thing collapse and kill us all?!" Ovin's voice rose to a squeaky pitch and the Cadian main characters nodded in agreement. Even Leilatha was giving him a judgmental look.
"Lord commissar, come in, do you read me?" Tangmo was about to politely suggest that major Ovin provide a solution to their current conundrum when a voice blared across his earbud, it belong to colonel Akecheta of the Wind Walker.
"Yo, what's happening Akecheta?" Tangmo glanced across the treetop, half expecting to see a kaiju coming toward them or the guardsmen fighting the local fauna. He let out a breath of relief when all was calm, for the moment. "Nothing bad I hope. I'm not seeing any las or bullets flying."
"We have yet to encounter any enemies lord commissar, but me and the Wind Walker have found a way to descend the tree," at Akecheta's announcement a flare shot up high into the sky, arching above what could only be described as the tree's gigantic triangular peak. "The path is firm and navigable. My troops are setting up waypoints and handholds as we speak."
"Holy crap Akecheta, top job my dude," Tangmo beamed and headed to where the guardsmen had gathered, Leilatha and the Cadian close at his heels. They arrived at a huge gaping hole that was definitely not there when the Valkyries made their descent, the edges simmering orange after coming into contact with lasbolts. Tangmo peered over the rim and whistled at the interlocking branches, each limb the size of a human torso, the random pattern of untamed nature was fantastical to behold. The forest floor was quite far down, about eight floor worth if Tangmo was to make an educated guess, a daunting climb by any standard. Luckily, the Wind Walker were swift and precise with their work, moving with nimble litheness as they scaled down the trees with inhuman ease, at times blending seamlessly with the leafy veils, everywhere they stop a set of bolts, carabiners and ropes were fastened to provide those less inclined to vertical traveling with firmer handholds. "Goddamn, this is gonna save us a lot of time, thank you."
"You are most welcomed, lord commissar," major Anaba, Akecheta's little sister, poked her head above the still burning rim and waved at the vertigo inducing drop. "Big brother is almost at the bottom. In the meantime, you can try testing the ropes before we go down."
"A very tempting offer," Tangmo deadpanned and watched as the more adventurous guardsmen, notably the Kuronese, Jijurean, Praetorian, Vostroyan and Antari started scaling down the branches, giving the supporting structures energetic kicks and pulls and hollering loudly when they didn't plummet to their death. "But yeah, I'm letting the Wind Walker steal the show this time."
"Lord commissar, me and my cohort have reached the forest floor and have set up a perimeter around the tree," Akecheta made his timely interruption, stopping Anaba from parting regrettable words that would surely earned her a Spartan kick from Leilatha. "The circumference is larger than we have anticipated and the area is not empty, requesting immediate reinforcement to secure our position."
"Well then," Anaba flashed her pearly white teeth in a smile, a very condescending smile, and waved at the chute behind her. "I seem to recall that you like to lead from the front?"
"Damn right I lead from the front, I'm the Singing Commissar!" Tangmo buttoned up his awesome commissar coat so that it was wrapped securely around his muscular frame and reached down to grab a length of sturdy rope proffered to him by Anaba. "This should be easier than when we scaled down the Valkyrie, what with all the handholds available."
"You're right about that," Anaba scooted to the right as Tangmo joined her inside the hole. "And if you slip, there'll be plenty of branches to break your fall."
"I don't plan on slipping, but thank you for your concern," Tangmo tugged on the firm rope and turned to Anaba, his eyes narrowed menacingly. "Just so you know, I haven't Thai kick people in a while, and I believe the time has come to add more members to that illustrious club."
"Ha! Good luck catching me," Anaba barked a laugh and showed off her dexterous skill by scaling effortlessly down the chute, her Wind Walker comrades following with the same expertise. "See you at the bottom!"
"Right behind you!" Tangmo shouted and made the slower, but by no means amateurish descent, his hands and feet nimble as he drew nearer to the bottom. He was soon joined by the other guardsmen, and besides the occasional squawks and shouts, no flailing bodies zoomed passed him in a freefall.
"Me and Krix can help you catch her sir," Luva, being the most proficient amongst the Cadian when it comes to climbing, matched pace with Tangmo. "Just give us the word."
"Thank you for the offer Luva, but let's put a raincheck on that," Tangmo glanced down and saw that he was in jumping distant of the ground. "Huh, that was quick. Think I could jump the rest of the way?"
"I heard you rolled off higher, with Evangeline in your arms," Luva winked cheekily and pushed herself off the tree, landing with a soft rustle before raising her thumb at Tangmo, "it is safe lord commissar, no need to fret."
Tangmo thought about showing off by performing an epic moonsault like what Kurt Angle did, san landing flat on his face, but settled instead of a simple hop. The grasses, tall enough to brush his knees and studded with weird spiky weeds and dangerous looking flowers, swayed softly when Tangmo touched down on the ground, his boots finding firm but moist earth that squelched wetly.
"That went easier than expected," Tangmo unslung his lasgun and braced the stock firmly to his shoulder, scanning the ground for creepy crawlies that could be lurking close by. When nothing stirred, he waved over Akecheta and Anaba. "And yes, the wall I rolled off with Evangeline was pretty fucking high."
"At least the colonel made a good cushion for you," Luva smirked, lascarbine held at the ready, sharp unblinking eyes honed on the surrounding floras.
"Oh yeah, she was very big and soft," Tangmo and Luva's start off a laugh died when Leilatha landed behind them. She gifted them with a cross, unfriendly look, causing the Thai commissar and the scout captain to mope like scolded children, and then pointed upward. Following Leilatha's finger, Tangmo squawked when he saw Evangeline glaring down at him. "Hi Evangeline! You can jump, I'll catch you again!"
"How gentlemanly," Evangeline groaned as she and the Mordian, moving slower than the Cadians and the Wind Walkers, continued their downward climb, "but in this instance, I will have to decline."
"Welp, can't win them all," Tangmo shrugged at Leilatha the same moment Akecheta and Anaba reached them, the two Ekkaroqians saluting handsomely, "colonel, major, anything to report?"
"We're surrounded sir, but not by orks," Akecheta said. "The forest is teeming with animals, big specimen that travels in large group, with extremely diverse biology too."
"Are they like the kaijus we ran into?" Tangmo pointed up at the sky, earning confuse looks from Leilatha and the guardsmen. "I mean the flying monsters. We'll be calling them kaiju from now on."
"They're big sir, but not that big," Akecheta turned to look at a spot where several Wind Walkers were hunkered down behind a large stunted fern with leaves that fanned out wide and tall, their lasguns held at the ready. "As for the kaiju, as you have named them, none are within the vicinity."
"That's good to hear," Krillen spoke up the same moment the Mordian stumbled to the ground, breathing heavily and looking very glad that the climb was over. "If the reading I'm getting from Ae-Shin is correct, those kaijus are bigger than a Titan."
"Maybe more so, if the vibration is anything to go by," Akecheta pointed at the ground, and it was now that Tangmo felt the tremor traveling up his legs, pronounced but clearly far away. "You do feel the footfall, yes? And not just from a single pair of feet either, given how chaotic the tempo is."
"As long as those giant fuckers are not around here, I'm happy. We're not exactly geared to fight fucking kaijus," Tangmo glanced up at the tree they'd just climbed down, then repeated the inspection on the other specimen around them. Holy shit they were all fucking huge, and fucking thick too, the sort of thick that was immune to chainswords. "The tree is still a fucking problem though."
"Agreed, it greatly complicate the disembarkation," Evangeline joined the conversation, the Mordian colonel grunting a slew of French curses as she, like her troops, tried her damnedest to fix her roughed up uniform. "Not to mention the difficulty of the climb itself, it's a miracle no one had fallen to their death yet."
"Don't jinx it Evangeline, that can still happen," Tangmo cringed visibly as he watched the Grey Watch, also not attuned to vertical landscape like the Mordian, stumbled and missed their footing every few step, the kilt clad highlanders were starting to shout at each other, especially the guardswomen who were threatening to kill their male counterparts if they glanced up. "Goddamn it – Meko, give me the phone."
The radio captain handed Tangmo the headphone, "who are you calling sir?"
"Erik please, he's leading the second wave," Tangmo told Meko, who then swiftly tapped the data-pad on his arm and nodded. "Yo, are you inside the Valkyrie yet?"
"A few more minutes dude, we're just about done boarding," Erik responded, his tone hardening quick. "Did something happen? I heard there were kaijus on the planet, are they attacking you?"
"For the moment no, thank fucking God Emperor for that," Tangmo said. "Who are you bringing down?"
"Marwen, Firnera and Tanrion, along with an ass load of Guardians, Aspect Warriors and supporting anti-grav gun platforms," Erik listed off the troops. "Why, you need something else?"
"I do actually. Would it be possible to make rooms for explosives? A lot of explosives?" Tangmo told him. "Oh, and throw in a couple more squads of Fire Dragons, Striking Scorpions and Dark Reapers too."
"Yeah, I think we can. The anti-grav platforms can hitch a ride with Laura and the Sororitas instead, right?" Erik asked the Aeldari main characters, who murmured their agreement. "Alright dude, but we need to shift the troops around a bit, so we'll be about thirty minutes late, is that okay?"
"I can live with that," Tangmo flashed a series of hand signals, ordering the guardsmen who were already on the forest floor to form a defensive perimeter. Within moments a tight circle of bristling lasguns, heavy bolters, lascannons and autocannons, the last three Tangmo had no idea how the Krieg managed to get down, was ringed around the LZ tree. "A little bit faster wouldn't hurt though. Oh, and be advise, you need to climb down a fucking tree to get to the forest floor, and I'm talking about trees the size of a high rise condo."
"No problem, we're eldars, graceful and lithe and very nimble on our feet," Erik chirped happily, in the background Tangmo can hear the eldars concurring animatedly. "But, like, why do you need all the explosives?"
"I'm about to commit deforestation on a genocidal scale," Tangmo grinned like a lunatic and the guardsmen snickered lowly.
"…Huh?" Erik was rightly taken aback by the flowery worded announcement. "I need you to repeat that, what do you mean deforestation?"
"There are too many fucking trees!" Tangmo blurted and waved wildly at the pillars of emerald towering over them. "We're in a war man, and the goddamn trees are blocking our landing crafts. Therefore, I'm gonna level the fucking place with explosives so that we can have a functioning base of operation and get on with the business of killing orks."
"You can't do that!" Oh great, Lita just had to overheard their conversation. "You can't just go around blowing up trees, it's wrong!"
"I don't give a fuck," Tangmo fluttered his lashes innocently, earning laughter and disgust in equal measure from the guardsmen. "By the time you get here, there's gonna be a big patch of burning earth the size of Thonburi waiting for you."
"I command you not to pursue this action!" Lita went on heatedly, unreasonably. "This planet has not been touch by humans for thousands of years, nature at its greatest peak of beauty, unspoiled and untamed, and I will not allow you to destroy that sanctity!"
"I shall now refer to my previous answer: I don't give a fuck," Tangmo shot back and he can almost hear Lita fuming on the other end, "and would you calm down? This isn't Earth, it's a random planet, one of the many millions across the galaxy, no one's gonna miss it. Besides, given the size, we can probably burn down a continent worth of rainforest and it's not gonna effect the overall ecosystem."
"Hmph! You kinda have a point, I guess, in your uniquely twisted sort of way," Lita settled down a bit, but it was clear she's still pissed. "But this is still wrong! So I'm gonna go down to the planet with Erik and stop your wanton destruction of nature!"
"Oh my fucking God Emperor woman, we destroy every planet we step on!" Okay, seriously, Tangmo have had it with this hippie crap. "And if you don't drop this topic within exactly one second, I'm gonna tell Laura and Yuki to hogtie your ass and lock you inside a closet somewhere. I don't think I need to remind you how handsy those two get?"
"Did someone say hogtie Lita?!" Yuki and Laura intoned as one, cheery and maniacal, causing the guardswomen within earshot to shudder visibly.
"Good luck with the demolition Tangmo, see you soon!" Lita wisely cut the transmission to loud guffawing from the troopers, many cheering Tangmo diplomatic victory over the Mexican Warseer.
"Right…now that we got that stupidity over with," Erik deadpanned, "we're just done loading up the Aspect Warriors and the explosives, we'll be there in about twenty minutes."
"Thanks man, I'll see you then."
"Movement! North and east, big and coming in fast!"
As if the planet can read his mind, or have somehow overheard his spoken plan, not an impossibility given the ludicrous amount of creepy shits that exist in this universe, the thick floras around them started swaying violently, causing the smaller animals to either scrambled across the ground in fright or take flight in panicky flaps of wings. The Wind Walker scouts who had been combing the immediate vicinity sprinted into view, hounding at their heels were roars, some a sonorous rumble that sent tremor across the ground, others were piercing and high, sounding almost like the call of avian raptors.
"Kaijus?" Leilatha glanced at Akecheta, her bolt pistol honed on the disturbed foliage as the Ekkaroqian joined their brothers and sisters in arms, lasguns brandished at the ready.
"No, nothing of that size," Akecheta traded quick hand signals with captain Binaaswi. "It's the planet's indigenous lifeforms, and they are not friendly."
"But they're just animal, right?" Colonel Min Jae of the Homeland Rifle spoke up, his eyes trained unblinking down the iron sight of his lascarbine, "shouldn't be much of a problem."
"The beasts on Catachan are also native to their home planet lad," colonel Bruce of the Grey Watch grunted. "And they're an absolute menace from what I've heard."
"Do not open fire, wait for my command," Tangmo quickly slung his lasgun over his shoulder and drew his bolt pistol when a jagged, three prongs horn the size of a Vespa emerged from the surrounding thickets, followed by a wedge shaped head, wide pitch black eyes, and snarling fangs. "Hold! Hold your fire! Heavy weapon teams, make ready!"
Shouts echoed down the firing line as the creature stepped on to the opening around the LZ tree, the ground rumbled thunderously to the approaching footfall. As Tangmo had anticipated, given the size of the planet and the fact that it can sustain fucking kaijus, the animals on the lower tier of the food chain would be equally intimidating in stature. Its four trunk-like legs were wide and powerful, muscular and thick and rippling with barely restrained needs to be mobile and violent. The closest approximation Tangmo can give in comparison would be a rhino, the major difference being that the motherfucker was covered in thick plate like armor studded with stumpy but sharp spikes. The metallic sheen of the biological carapaces told him that the damn thing wasn't all bones and cartilages.
"Great, there's a herd of the fuckers," Krillen growled when more of the rhino beasts appeared, seven in all, a bit smaller in size compared to the alpha leading the pack. "What the fuck are they doing?"
"Sizing us," colonel Lingxin of the Dragon Blood turned the dial of her lasgun up to maximum, prompting the other guardsmen to follow her example. "This is most likely their territory. And they want us out."
"Well, we ain't moving," colonel Joanna of the Cobalt Star loaded kraken rounds into her bolt revolver and turned askance at Tangmo, "permission to bring them down sir."
"Permission deny colonel, but I appreciate your enthusiasm," Tangmo flashed a friendly grin at Johanna but grim sternness returned a heartbeat later. "Something tells me randomly shooting these things will not be the right way to bring them down. Hildebrandt, Moltke, Wilhelmina, are the heavy weapon teams ready?"
"They are, Herr commissar," Hildebrandt responded, his tone deadly in its crisp, tempered quality. The Death Korps were the ones handling the heavy guns. "Give the command and we shall open fire."
"I want the autocannons to target the alpha of the herd, have the heavy bolters suppress the lesser beasts, and concentrate the lascannons fire on their heads, specifically the eyes, blind the fuckers," Tangmo laid out his plan and groaned audibly when more animals emerged from the leafy foliage. Besides the rhinos other monstrosities now entered the fray, a mutual coexistence, an alliance of hostile wildlife. "Oh give me a fucking break – I want snipers and Zodd lasguns to target the spot between the carapaces. As for the rest of us, pick a target and let it rip."
"All targets marked, Herr commissar," now it was Wilhelmina who spoke up, and a quick glance told Tangmo that all was ready. Just in time too, because the alpha rhino was starting to creep forward, "on your command."
"Execute," Tangmo pulled the trigger of his bolt pistol the same moment the autocannons opened fire, the hellish bellow of unleashed weaponries easily drowned out the rhino's pained roared as flaming explosions wreathed the beast in a devouring staccato. The amount of firepower brought to bear would've been enough to bring down a Leman Russ, but against all conceivable logic the rhino didn't immediately go down, even managing to weather the fusillade for a few steps before collapsing to its knees. Jesus fucking Christ the armors were metallic, plates of organic iron thick enough to withstand a barrage of autocannons. It was only after a lucky Zodd lasbolt punched into the eye socket that the alpha finally, after twitching and jumping wildly in a burst of postmortem jitter, careened brokenly to the ground. The other rhinos bellowed loudly at the sight of their slain leader, pissed and vengeful, but the guardsmen unceasing volley halted their advance. "Don't let up, keep firing, bring the rest of them down!"
A task proved easier said than done, because it took a shit load of bolts, and las, and shells to drop the rhino creatures, entire hides and flanks obliterated to scorching splinters before the fleshy bits beneath were torn apart by concentrated application of ordnances. But like always, things can't be simple for the Immortal Spirit battlegroup, oh no, because the others creatures that were following the rhino phalanx now burst into motion, all of them making a beeline for the guardsmen. The most numerous amongst this stampeding horde were reptilian looking gazelles with gleaming pickaxe like talons for feet and greenish white hairy monkeys sporting six arms, blocky heads and starfish shaped mouths that yawned open to reveal rows of serrated teeth too numerous to count.
"Yeah motherfucker, bring it, let's fucking go!" Tangmo emptied his Metal Storm bolts into the thick of the charging animals, brilliant blood and gore, hued in shades of red, blue and black, misted the air before splattering vividly across the verdant green of the forest. They bayed and howled and roared and, in direct contradiction to the instinct of self-preservation, the animals pressed onward with suicidal conviction. "Blast them straight to hell, I ain't getting kill by a buncha dumbass animals, fuck them up!"
"Your wish is granted then," wiping away a few stray droplets that had landed on her awesome commissar coat, Leilatha held up a fist, the simple gesture sending a ripple of calm across the defenses as one by one the guardsmen stopped firing. The returning tranquility was wreathed in acrid smog and sizzling offal. "Reload and maintain position, more creatures could emerge. And see to the wounded please."
"Seriously, did anybody die," Tangmo slammed a new magazine home and made a quick sweep of the battlegroup's position. Everybody looks to be in one piece. "Because goddamn, getting kill by those things would be pretty fucking embarrassing dude."
"No embarrassment today sir, none of our troops sported so much as a scratch," colonel Alistair of the Praetorian Guard was grinning smugly as he strode up to Tangmo. "I say, this very much reminds me of the great hunt my uncle held annually at his estate, but this is a lot more invigorating."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it," colonel Al-Rahman of the Tallarn narrowed his eyes on the mound of slain beasts smoldering about fifty yards away, the corpses stacked to almost chest height. "I can't be the only one who noticed how they seem to be attacking on purpose, as opposed to acting on instinct?"
"You're fucking right about that," Tangmo slipped the bolt pistol into the holster, unslung his lasgun, set it to semi-auto, leveled the barrel forward and broke rank. "Nothing on this planet appears to follow normal evolutionary process."
"A very correct assessment," Leilatha took her place beside Tangmo, bolt pistol held at the ready, behind her several squads of guardsmen, the regiments mingling, followed closely. "Is this safe? If what you are implying is true, the beasts might not be truly dead."
"Guess we're about to find out. Can you form a perimeter please?" Leilatha waved the guardsmen into position while Tangmo approached the rhino's sizzling carcass. Ruffling sounded to his left and right, and Tangmo found Krillen, colonel Kenshin of the Dawn Blade, colonel Lingxin, and colonel Stanislav of the Vostroyan First Born on his flanks, the latter three were wielding their swords. "Not that I'm doubting your awesomeness with the swords, but wouldn't guns be better in this situation?"
"I'm very quick with a sword," Kenshin grinned and tightened his grip on the katana for emphasis.
"Let me jump out of the way first before y'all start swinging," Tangmo was now standing beside the dead alpha rhino, and holy fucking shit the motherfucker was almost as big as a Chimera. Pushing through the cadaverous stink wafting from the many fist-sized holes adorning its body, Tangmo bend downward and jabbed the muzzle of his lasgun into the rhino's still intact eye, pushing until the ocular orb popped wetly. The corpse didn't stir, "so far so good."
"Try pulling the trigger," Lingxin suggested and Tangmo put five lasbolts into the rhino's skull, pinkish ooze flowed out of its mouth and ears and nose. "I want to be optimistic and say that the animal is indeed dead."
"That looks to be the case, but I'm not putting my sword away just yet," Stanislav walked over to an intact plate of armor around the rhino's neck and tapped it with his shashka sabre, the resulting ringing was of metallic quality. "If my ears are not deceiving me, that armor is thick, as thick as a tank, if I may be so bold to say."
"Considering the amount of damage it took before finally dying, I'll say that it is very likely," Tangmo glanced at the torn and crushed foliage beyond the dead rhino, where a large herd was wandering away from the killing field, the staggering diversity of animals was breathtaking, and extremely alarming. "Anybody got eyes on the herd? Are they gearing up for another charge?"
"That's a negative sir," the voice of captain Binaaswi answered his query. "The pack is singular in trajectory, they're fleeing us."
"It is as if these lots sacrifice themselves so that the rest can get away," colonel Xiphos of the Kolasi Fire Guard spoke up with clear respect. "If such a term can be applied to animals, the display was very honorable."
"You might want to turn away then, because what we're doing next is gonna be very disrespectful," Tangmo returned his attention to the dead alpha and pointed at the armored portion Stanislav was tapping earlier. "Pry that off please, we need to take a closer look at it."
"Not going to get dirty?" Al-Rahman smirked at Tangmo as several guardsmen, daggers and hatchets in hands, went about the bloody task of removing the armored hide, curses and hisses abound from the copious amount of blood flying everywhere.
"Dude, you know how hard it is to get blood off my awesome commissar coat?" Tangmo straightened said awesome commissar coat to the annoyed groans of the guardsmen. "I need to look badass and clean yo."
"But you always charge into the thick of battle," the guardsmen let out a collective yelp, some even went airborne and landed hard on their asses, when Erik popped up beside Tangmo.
"Yeah, but enemy's blood is way more epic than cadaver's juice," Tangmo clasped hand with Erik in a hearty bro handshake. "That was pretty freaking quick dude, I thought it'll be a while before you guys show up."
"We speed things up a bit," Erik pointed at the Aeldari descending to the forest floor via anti-grav platforms, only the Striking Scorpions were jumping and leaping merrily amongst the branches. "Shit, we've arrived too late. How bad was it? Any casualties?"
"Fortunately, nobody died," Tangmo said. "But seriously dude, that shit we just went through was like the climax of Avatar, you know the scene, when all the animals started attacking and shit. But we have lasers and bolts and shells so everything turned out fine."
"I can see that, damn," Erik quirked a brow at the carnage, easily noticing the uniform arrangement of the steaming corpses, currently the more curious and daring of the guardsmen were wading through the gore and collecting trinkets and trophies. "And these were just animals that attack you? Not lead by some sentient life form with a functioning conscience?"
"No, they attack independent of any outside input," Tangmo gave Erik a meaningful look. "You notice how they're arrayed?"
"Yeah, like a failed cavalry charge," Erik nodded. "Holy crap this is exactly like the climax of Avatar when Eywa told all those cool Pandora animals to attack the bad guys. We're the bad guys by the way, in case you haven't figured it out."
"Man, I don't give a fuck. And if there's a hive mind controlling the animals and kaijus on this planet we'll fucking kill it with a physic lobotomy, the eldars should be able to manage that easily," Tangmo shrugged the same moment the guardsmen managed to remove the rhino's thick plate, the membrane and flesh yielding with wet, sticky squelch, and placed it down in front of him and Erik. He then pointed his lasgun at the organic armor. "Okay people, stand the fuck back, I'm gonna shoot this damn thing and it could ricochet. Fire in the hole!"
He fired several bursts, and when he stopped there was barley any scorch marks on the plate, the lasgun was set to medium and it should've been able to penetrate ten inches of concrete. But against this creature on an uninhabited Death World, it didn't even make a dent.
"That's not very reassuring," Krillen deadpanned and the guardsmen and eldars all mumbled with varying degrees of consternation. "At least we know the heavy weapons will be more effective."
"Resources better spent on fighting the orks," Min Jae grunted as captain general Marwen leapt daintily off the hover platform and walked up to join them. "Have you brought the explosives?"
"We did, per the High Ranger's specification," the brunette eldar stabbed her thumb at the succession of anti-grav platforms descending to the ground, all of them bearing big, heavy creates. "You're going to need all of it to level this place."
"Better do it before Lita gets here, or we'll never hear the end of this," Erik said and the gathered soldiery laughed lowly, good naturedly, then glanced at Tangmo. "You heard about the new Avatar movie that just came out?"
"Way of Water, right? Goddamn, thirteen fucking years for a sequel," Tangmo snorted. "It better be worth the wait."
"Trust me, it isn't," Henry entered the conversation dryly. "There are hundred other movies that are more worthy of your time."
"Wait, you saw it already?' Tangmo quirked a brow as the guardsmen and eldars started drifting away, leaving him with Erik. The battlegroup has grown more than accustomed to the Eight's nonsensical 21st century conversation and had rightly decided to apply their attention elsewhere. "I mean, I know it's out, but I haven't had the chance to see it yet. Is it bad?"
"Two words bro, young adult," Henry huffed and Tangmo hissed loudly, yup, those two words cut deep when you want quality. "Two third of the movie is about the kids of the traitor and his xeno wife trying to fit into a new tribe."
"Oh come on, it's not that bad!" Erik cut in with a very audible groan. "Me and Lita was very touched by the family dynamic between Jake, Neytiri and their family, it's honest, heartfelt and very organic."
"Please, you two are suckers for sentimental shit," Henry was obviously rolling his eyes on the other end. "It is the most generic young adult tripe ever put on screen, or any form of media honestly."
"Okay, but is the fight scene good?" Tangmo went on reasonably. "Because if there's one thing the first movie got right, it's the battles. Is the sequel as good as the original at least?"
"Hmph, I suppose."
"It was, it was even better than the last one," Erik added enthusiastically, a stark contrast to Henry's begrudging admission, which was very telling as an answer goes. "See, even Henry admits it…you seriously haven't seen it yet?"
"When I get the chance, I'll go see it," Tangmo told them. "I just saw RRR though, holy shit it was great."
"No argument there dude, RRR was fucking amazing."
"One of the best action movies I've ever seen, period."
"Not that I want to interrupt your riveting conversation, lord commissar, lord general, High Ranger," Ae-Shin voice blared across the intercom, her timbre did not suggest a good news. "The air force has just completed their attack on the kaiju."
"Let me guess, the damn thing is still lumbering all over the place," being the Eight's foremost expert on all things kaiju, second only to Yuki, Tangmo traded knowing look with an equally unsurprised Erik. "You threw everything at it and the big bad monster was barely fazed."
"How did – you know what, I shouldn't even be surprised anymore. But yes, our arsenals were ineffective in killing the kaiju," Ae-Shin went on. "In our defense, we were able to hurt the beast to a certain degree. The wounds it sported were not light to say the least."
"I don't doubt it Ae-Shin," Tangmo said with a disarming smile. "You did manage to chase the kaiju away from the original LZ, yes?"
"Damn right we did!" Ae-Shin responded triumphantly. "Me and the squadron are returning to the Immortal Spirit to rearm, our next flyby is going to be even more deadly."
"Belay that order Ae-Shin, I want the air force to patrol the LZ instead," Tangmo went on. "The kaiju is not our primary concern, the orks are, save your firepower for those assholes."
"Acknowledge lord commissar, stay safe down there," Ae-Shin was obviously winking as she terminated transmission, earning an annoyed groan from Leilatha.
"Damien, you and the Marines in the Drop Pods yet?" Tangmo switched frequency.
"We are, I'm stepping inside now," Damien responded. "You need help at the new LZ?"
"No dude, we got that shit covered," Tangmo told the Canadian Marine. "I need you and the Astartes to drop in at the original LZ and secure the complex before the orks shows up. Ae-Shin managed to chase away the kaiju, so you don't need to worry about that motherfucker."
"Roger that, yo Gallus, new coordinates dude!" Was Damien boisterous command before cutting transmission.
"Henry, I need you and the King Ghidorah down here, there are a lot of trees that needs bulldozing," Tangmo tapped his earbud, changing the communication channel, "ETA?"
"Twenty minutes," Henry said. "You got a landing stirp set up yet?"
"We're about to get started, see you soon," Tangmo turned to the guardsmen and eldars. "Alrighty then people, its deforestation time, I want every tree within a thirty mile radius flattened, the rest of the battlegroup will be landing soon, let's fucking go!"
"Orks and kaiju, now that's a deadly combination," Erik joined Tangmo as the battlegroup went about planting explosives. "Who do you think's gonna win between those two?"
"Kaiju obviously," Tangmo snorted. "What could those ork morons do to fucking kaijus anyway?"