Tiny Kong farted a brassy deep pitched tuba toot as she was present in the middle of the Waterwind Valley racecourse, stretching her arms out, just for you big guys. "Ahhh... it feels great to make an appearance in a popular fanfic."
Suddenly the flatulent monkey got run over by Dixie Kong and Tooty Bear, who looked down to see that they ran down Tiny Kong, who was flattened like a pancake.
"Uh oh," Dixie remarked as she turned to Tooty, placing her hands on the face. "Think anyone will notice that I ran over my younger sister?"
"...nah." Tooty remarked as she noticed some of the more obscure racers zipping by. "Besides, I attack my older brother all the time, and he doesn't mind. Much."
Shrugging, Dixie took the wheel as they zipped off, leaving the smashed Tiny Kong behind.
Master Hand checked the microphone to see if it was working, and then he cleared his throat. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we have some very important news, regarding this race, the Waterwind Valley race, which is also the 6th massive race of the Yoshi Kart grand prix." The giant, floating, magical and all-powerful hand loudly announced, preparing to give everyone a huge status check on the 6th race. "Here we have the current status of everyone, so keep your ears picked up and listen very carefully. To start things off, Banjo and Kazooie have taken first place, and behind them are the Flying Krock and Alec Trevelyan. James Bond and King K. Rool are arguing on top of James Bond's tank, which somehow was fixed and placed upon the Flying Krock. Unfortunately, the Star Fox crew have engaged in another ship-war with the Flying Krock, and as a result, went down crashing, where they are fixing up their engines now to get back in the race. Godzilla and Anguirus also seem to be off the circuit, as Anguirus is helping Godzilla feel better. Gruntilda and Klungo continue to zoom off, with Snuggles and King Dedede/Escargoon on their tracks. Timber, Conker, Pipsy, Diddy, Krunch, Tiptup, Drumstick, T.T., and Bumper are all competing with each other, while Bowser and his group of allies (Mewtwo, Ganondorf, Wario, and Donkey Kong) soar through the race track. Meanwhile, just behind them are Babies Mario and Luigi, followed closely by Koopa/Paratroopa, Spongebob/Patrick, Mermaidman/Barnicleboy, and Kirby/Meta Knight. Mumbo the Shaman and Bottles the near-sighted mole can be seen fixing up their car, while the famous Mario Brothers, Mario and Luigi, are zooming onwards, who are being followed by Peppy Ankylosaurus/Clario and Barney the Dinosaur. Heppy Ankylosaurus, Shelia the Stegosaurus, Bronto the Brontosaurus, Zirdo the Birdosaurus, Birdo, and Boshi are also having their own competition, with Bart Simpson and the Roadrunner coming up close behind. Marge Simpson and Lisa Simpson are trailing behind Bart and the Roadrunner, where on the other hand, Waluigi's group is approaching, followed by the team of Pikachu/Marth/Roy. Lyn/Eliwood/Hector are also zooming towards the racers, with Peach's group and Dr. Mario/Zelda/Pichu. The Great Mighty Poo is competing with Steve and Rob Sweere, whereas on the other hand, both King Kong and Wizpig are giving the Koopa Kids a run for their money. Currently fixing up on the side of the racecourse are the famous, comic-relief members of Team Rocket: Jessie, James, and Meowth, watching Ash Ketchum speed off ahead of them. Humba Wumba's group is doing their best into passing the other racers, while Yugi/Tea, Joey/Mai, and the Chaotix group race alongside. Knuckles the Echidna and Rouge the Bat are currently out, as they are trying to get their car fixed up and running to get back into the race. All of the other racers behind are currently resting up at the Pit stop, taking a break from racing, but I do suggest that they all better get back into the race. The current racer, and perhaps the only racer so far, to have passed the Pit stop was none other than Boggy the Polar bear. And to wrap it all up, all the way in last place are the paired up racers Yoshi/Dr. Hoshi and May/Misty/Max, although May is still resting up. Will the race status change? You'll have to find out."
"Too long, didn't read!' The entire audience chimed in unison as they couldn't bare to see so many words placed all together in an non cohesive manner.
Taj nodded. "Thanks for the very useful and rather long but intellectual information, Master Hand. Now we turn our attention back to the race," He said, looking at one of the screens.
"Can't you idiots go pick on someone else!?" Yusuke snapped at the group of Smashers attacking him and Kuwabara.
"No! We need a reason to be in this shitty fanfic!" Popo exclaimed as he smashed their car with his wooden mallet.
"You don't need to be so rude!" Nana exclaimed as she froze Megaman's group, with Yugi and Tea trying to stay away to not get frozen.
Kuwabara sighed as he tried to focus on driving, with the Ice Climbers making his condition like hell. "Why did I agree to come here...?"
"For a brief stunt of fame! And a small popularity boost of this dumb story." Mr. Game-and-Watch pointed out as he was throwing black sausages and bacon.
"Okay!" Ness exclaimed as he used PK Fire on the Pikachu and Kirby versions of the Mario Brothers.
"SHUT UP, NESS!" Popo and Young Link snapped angrily as Ness began to cry, with Saria comforting him as Young Link was driving their vehicle.
Going into the first turn of the next section, the rocky cave, Heppy and Zirdo were neck and neck, and right at the back of them were Bronto and Boshi. Shelia and Birdo were right in the middle that filled the gap between Heppy/Zirdo and Bronto/Boshi.
Shelia picked up an item box, which revealed inside a freezie. She boosted out of the turn in front of Birdo and laid the freezie down behind her.
Birdo, caught off guard, unfortunately ran into the freezie and before she could say, "Grrrr! I'll get you for this, Shelia!", she was trapped inside a solid block of ice.
The next straightaway consisted of rotating fire pillars and carnivorous piranha plants that popped up in random locations. Shelia slid right into the first fire pillar and went spinning.
Bronto, Boshi, and Bart Simpson/The Roadrunner all quickly passed Shelia, which annoyed the yellow female Stegosaurus.
Marge Simpson and Lisa Simpson, meanwhile, were sneaking by the Yoshi Kart racers on the outside rail of the racecourse, avoiding all of the obstacles. The course then took a sharp turn to the right into a part of the course that snaked back and forth several times.
Marge turned to Lisa. "Okay, Lisa! Let them rip!"
Lisa nodded, and she threw in several mushrooms into the engine, sending her and Marge pass the obstacle, as well as the Yoshi Kart racers.
Bronto passed Zirdo and Heppy, using his rocket boost. When he looked back to see Heppy and Zirdo zooming behind his car, Bronto celebrated because he thought he was ahead of his friends, and he had a shot at getting Marge and Lisa…BUT, when he looked back down at the map on his dashboard, he saw that Boshi zoomed by while the blue Brontosaurus was celebrating, and the blue Yoshisaurus was several turns in front of him.
"Sucker!" Boshi cackled, as he came up behind Marge and Lisa.
"Ayayayay!" The surprised Bronto yelled in disbelief, and he got back to driving.
Shelia, who manage to get control back on her car, was towards the back of the pack; her racing skills were not at peak performance. She drove right through an item box and received a Mega Mushroom!
"Sweetage! I got a Mega Mushroom!" Shelia shouted in glee. She used it quickly and plowed through the snake turns at blazing speed, running over the jagged rocks that were in her path. Shelia was back alongside with her fellow Yoshi Kart racers when the Mega Mushroom finally worn off. She slammed her feet onto the pedal of her car and rounded a U turn into the final straightaway of the rocky cave, all of the positions of the racers staying in place.
Princess Daisy's stomach growled loudly as she sighed. "Man, I knew I should have had lunch before racing..."
"Now you know how I feel." Toadette remarked as she chucked several yellow banana peels at Tiptup, making him spin out of control.
"Guys, focus! We're gonna lose to that polar bear!" Toad exclaimed as he was steering the car, with Boggy the polar bear sliding ahead of them on his slide.
"Wa-hey!" Boggy exclaimed as he waved at the group.
"It's time we pumped up this vehicle and pass him!" Stanley suggested as he raised his pump. "I'm gonna give it some gas!"
Princess Daisy farted loudly as the others looked at her, with the red haired tomboy princess blushing.
"Sorry. I couldn't help it." Daisy admitted as her gassy big butt burped another brassy, deep pitched tuba toot.
"Sometimes I wonder why I bother to stick around..." Waluigi grumbled as he chucked some triple green shells at Crazy Hand, who slammed himself down on them in retaliation.
Back at the pit stop with the rest of the racers who weren't doing any actual racing and this ruined the momentum of the otherwise consistent racing action…
"We've been at this pit stop forever," Thief complained, "When are we gonna leave?"
"Oh, hush your mouth, Thief," Red Mage hushed.
Thief gulped. "Yessir..." He then noticed Sonic's wallet. "Oh...a free target..." He slowly moved his hand towards the wallet.
Sonic, however, was wise to Thief's antics and countered. "SONIC WIND!" Spinning around in a tornado, Sonic blew Thief right into Black Mage.
"Ouch!" Thief and Black Mage both moaned.
Red Mage merely shook his head. "Stupid thief. When will he learn?"
"At least he was trying to get out of his boredom slump," Amanda commented, "Hell, we're all behind 56 place!"
Shadow, meanwhile, was juggling 4 guns at once.
"Well to hell with this, I'm not spending one more fucking minute here." Donald Trump commented boldly, getting into his car and zooming back onto the racecourse.
Suddenly, an idiot male human nudist came streaking through the pit stop.
"WHOOO!" The idiot nudist stopped in front of Shadow and waggled his privates at him.
"AGH!" Shadow temporarily went blind from shock, and threw his guns in the air...where they dropped down on his head one by one.
"Holy crap!" Silver shouted, before being knocked out unconscious by one of the guns Shadow was holding.
Amanda gasped. "ACK!" My Silvie!" She cried in horror.
Shadow rubbed his sore head. "Ow... Headache..." He grumbled angrily. "Stupid Nudist..."
Moe got up from his table. "I'll get rid of him!" He shouted, taking out his rifle and firing at the nudist, killing the gross idiot.
Lenny looked at Moe in surprise. "Wow, Moe! I never knew you were a professional at gunning!"
Carl was just as surprised. "Yeah, Moe. Why don't you ever tell us about these things?"
Moe chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "Well…uh…you know how I like to keep my bar protected." He let out a nervous chuckle.
Shadow rubbed his forehead. "Ugh... Stupid pervert made me blind..."
Tails nodded, and looked at the racing board hovering on top. "Well, would you look at that? It seems as if Donald Trump is the last person to leave here." He gasped. "What do you know? Yoshi/Dr. Hoshi and May/Misty/Max are all in last place!"
Sonic was equally surprised. "Wow... What made them lag behind?"
Cream gulped. "Going through that volcano/desert section, I bet," She admitted.
"Chao, chao," Cheese added.
"And what's more..." Tails said, "I'm surprised that Knuckles and Rouge didn't even bother to stop!" He shrugged. "Guess they want to win that badly. But they'll have to get out of 43rd place to do that."
Suddenly, a fat and hairy male human nudist lumbered on by, farting away.
Sonic saw the fat hairy nudist. "What the hell?"
The fat hairy nudist suddenly stopped in front of everyone and did a naked dance, farting everywhere.
"YAAAGH! Gross!" Sonic closed his eyes and turned away from the disgusting sight.
Tails felt his stomach churning. "AHHH! So...gross..." he went to the nearest trashcan and vomited.
Cream hid behind Amy, with Cheese. "WAAAH! MAKE IT GO AWAY!"
"CHAO CHAO!" Cheese added, terrified.
"EEK!" Amy hid her face behind her dress, exposing her white panties with Sonic's face on them.
Charture sighed. "Want me to take him out?" He cracked his knuckles, and he smirked.
"Yes please!" Sonic said before Amy's panties caught his attention. "Whoa..."
Charture then ran towards the flatulent fat nudist and whacked him with his knuckles. He smiled as he saw the disgusting man disappear in the background. "Well, we won't be seeing him again."
Tails sighed of relief. "Thank God." He stopped vomiting.
Cream and Cheese both looked at each other, and sighed of relief. "Phew!"
Charture turned to Sonic. "Anyway, do you think we should go back to our cars?"
Sonic nodded. "Yup."
Amy let go of them of her dress, letting it fall back to place. "We'd better get back there."
Sonic was already rushing back to his car, taking Amy by the hand. "Say no more!"
Tails smiled and hoped into his car, with Cream and Cheese. He then thought of something. "Wait a minute! Wasn't Shadow with you guys?" He asked Sonic.
"Yeah," Cream added, holding Cheese.
Sonic looked around. "Yeah... Where is he?" Then he noticed Shadow, who was stumbling around, still blind.
"Sonic? Amy? Where are you?" Shadow stumbled around, until Sonic and Amy leapt out and brought him back into the car.
Tails and Cream both giggled, noticing that Shadow went blind from seeing the nudist.
Charture turned to Amanda and Silver. "Come on! We got a race to get back!"
Amanda and Silver saluted. "Right!" They hoped into Charture's car.
Charture nodded and then he pressed his foot on the pedal, and within several seconds, Charture's car zoomed away.
Tails waved to Sonic. "Well, we'll be going, too. Can't just sit around here doing nothing at the pit stop. The real action is at the finish line!" He zoomed off in his car, with Cream and Cheese.
Blaze the Cat, who has finished her meal from McDonald's, decided that it was to go back onto the race, too. Using her special powers, she zoomed right after Tails and Cream.
Sonic/Amy/Shadow were already right beside Tails/Cream/Cheese, steadily driving along. Sadly, Shadow was still blind.
Sonic looked at Tails and smiled. "We're going on ahead." He told Tails. "We wanna make sure there are no "gremlins" on the track."
Tails gave Sonic a thumbs up. "You got it. We'll cover your back." Tails slowly lifted his foot from the pedal, and his car slowed down. When Sonic/Amy/Shadow got in front, Tails slammed his foot onto the pedal, and took off again.
"And off goes the Sonic crew," Master Hand announced, sipping some nice, hot tea. "Seems as if they decided to settle down before racing again. Shame, because mostly everyone who have passed the pit stop are already making it towards the final section of the Waterwind Valley race course: The Waterwind Valley National Bridge that leads to the stadium where the next race, the 7th, will be decided."
The next portion of the Waterwind Valley racetrack, the Waterfall area, started with Bumper taking a large lead due to his overwhelming speed on the straightaway, but Pipsy, Tiptup, and the rest of the Diddy Kong Racing pack caught up to him easily coming out of the first turn.
Krunch was steadily working his way up from the back of the group, while several of his Diddy Kong Racing friends we being left behind due to the piranha plants and fire pillars. Krunch came right behind Drumstick and shot him with a dart.
"Hmmm…" Drumstick said to himself, "This looks a lot like the darts that Master Hand made for us…"
The dart suddenly opened up into an umbrella, killing Drumstick's momentum before it fell off.
Drumstick had to get back up to speed quick or he wouldn't be able to catch up to Bumper. He hoped to get a good item out of the upcoming item boxes… but noooo, he only got some useless banana peels.
Drumstick groaned. "Ughh! How will I EVER catch up with these…?" He thought, looking at the banana peels in disappointment.
"Don't you think races are so cool?" Toadette asked as she drove around in a fancy car around the Cloudtop Cruise.
"No, unless they're either a nice sunday drive, or a test for speed." Dry Bowser pointed out, also riding in a Mercedes car like Toadette.
Suddenly the wooden airship they were riding on broke apart, causing the two Mario characters to fall down as they got out of their Mercedes vehicles, with Dry Bowser holding onto Toadette's arms as they looked down at the Mercedes exploded into various metal pieces.
"Ugh, commercial breaks," Haru Glory groaned as he was riding on his bike.
"Don't bother complaining, the author will do something to make the situation worse," Hector stated to Haru as they were only used to spice up the fanfics in spite of not being part of the entire story.
Suddenly out of nowhere, Mermaidman and Barnicleboy zipped by the two, making them gasp as they glanced at each other.
"How did we even get back here, Mermaidman?" Barnicleboy asked as he was driving the invisible boat mobile.
"EVIL!" Mermaidman exclaimed as he flailed his arms about, with Barnicleboy sighing as he shook his head.
Master Hand turned to Taj. "Well, Taj, things are pretty much looking great for this race. The majority of racers are in the Waterfall section of the Waterwind Valley race course, and then it's the final stretch with going over the Waterwind Valley National Bridge!"
Taj nodded. "They sure are! And also they- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" Taj shrieked in horror, as what he saw pointed out. Sure enough, ANOTHER group of fat, hairy, smelly, ugly, male human nudists were streaking around, this time outside the booth.
Master Hand sighed. "Taj, Lakitus, stand back." Master Hand then started muttering a spell, and the spell sent the group of nudists into a different dimension.
The Lakitus all looked at Master Hand in awe. "How did you do that!"
Master Hand smiled. "I always have my reasons."
Taj sighed in relief. "Thank god."
"Anyway," Master Hand said, "Now that I made the contract sign with Jolly Roger, Captain Blubber, and Pawno the rat, we can expect to get as much money from the goods that are selling at Jolly Roger's Lagoon for merchandise on Yoshi Kart."
"HOO YEAH!" Taj hollered joyfully.
"Anyway," Master Hand said, looking at the screen, "It seems as if Mario and Luigi caught up with Peach's group. And right behind them are Barney the Dinosaur and Peppy Ankylosaurus/Clario." He turned to Taj. "You think they would do good?"
Taj smiled and nodded. "I think Mario and Luigi have a good path ahead of them." He commented.
"Let's check up on them right now," Master Hand says, as he and Taj both turned to the screen, showing the racers in the Waterwind Valley racecourse.
Mario and Luigi were speeding along the Waterfall section, catching up to Peach's group.
"Yahoo!" Mario cheered. "We're almost-a there!"
"Yeah!" Luigi cheered, "This was great teaming up with each other, Mario! We're gonna have a good advantage, and all we have to do is claim 1st place from Banjo and Kazooie!"
Mario smiled. "Nothing can-a stop us now!" They drove on ahead.
Right as they were zooming, Koopa and Paratroopa went zooming by the Mario Brothers, using the rocket boosters as fuel for their Koopa Kart.
"Did you find any Red Shells, Paratroopa?" Koopa asked.
Paratroopa looked through his item bag, and he got out a triple pack of red shells. "I'm up and ready to go, Koopa!" He aimed his red shells at Peach's group.
Mario sweatdropped. "MAMA-MIA!" He shouted out. "We got-a trouble!"
"Actually..." Luigi corrected his older brother, "They're aiming at Peach's group. This could give us an advantage to sneak away!"
Mario got it right away. "Aha! Mushroom power!" He tossed himself and Luigi a mushroom and they blasted off, sneaking right past the two warring teams.
Chad the Charmander saw Mario and Luigi zoom off. "Peach! Mario and Luigi just took off! We have to do something about them!'
"And what's more..." Sheik said, looking back at Koopa and Paratroopa, "We got these two guys behind us."
Peach sighed, and then she grabbed a Princess Heart item. "Guess we'll have to use items, the," She said, using the heart's power to protect her car and keep zooming on the racecourse.
Koopa and Paratroopa were steadily still catching up to Peach's group, ready to fire their red shells.
"On my mark, Paratroopa," Koopa instructed.
Paratroopa nodded. "Right," He said, waiting for the perfect moment to strike Peach and her friends, with the background fading to black.
Author's Note: Damn, that was very long. And yes, this took me a few days to plan, so give me credit for actually getting this entire thing together! And special thanks to Milleniumon the Sonamy Freak for helping me out do this chapter, folks. Now that the Sonic crew is back in the race, and with Yoshi/Dr. Hoshi and May/Misty/Max back in action, we can actually see some cool racing mayhem! Stay tuned until next time!
P.S. By the way…if you thought this chapter was disgusting, you can blame Milleniumon. He DOES have a sick mind, you know. XP