Over the Hedge: Second Generation

by starwars4life

Set 15 years after Midsummer Crises. The kids and young adult hedgies are now grown adults and must continue to carry out what their parents have taught them about heists, fun, friendship, love, and family. But will the problems they now encounter as parents and mates make the hedge family grow stronger and larger, or break apart and get smaller?

17. Spying and Sparring

Chapter 17: Spying and Sparring

I'm baaaaaack! I would have posted this chapter a long time ago, but lost a lot of story-writing time while attending a friend's bachelor party cruise for a week, and a family member's wedding back-to-back. But don't worry, this chapter will be a fine balance between character development and action!

Note: As has been hinted at before, but will be of far more importance from this chapter onward, the snakes in my Over the Hedge stories can hear. I am well-aware that real snakes are completely deaf; they don't have any ears or internal auditory organs, and must feel vibrations. But as I have stated numerous times, Over the Hedge is a fun family-friendly movie where the rules of the world do not apply.

---

"You always hated me, didn't you?" Cen rhetorically asks her older sister Jamai.

Jamai: "No, Cen. I mean, you were annoying to me, but that's what all siblings do. Deep down, I always loved you. We always loved you."

Cen: "Then why did you let me get killed? You could've flown faster to keep up with me, but you didn't."

Jamai: "We were still exhausted from the big fight at the bomb shelter."

Cen: "So was I, and I had no trouble putting on the speed. You wanted me to get killed, didn't you? All of you wanted to get rid of me, because you never loved me."

Jamai: "Stop staying things like that, Cen! None of it's true! We did love you—we always will! When you died, we wept, we regretted every bad thing we said and did to you, and we vowed to avenge you."

Cen: "And that counts as love? How about all the years of picking on me, rejecting me whenever I wanted to play with you, and rubbing it in whenever I got emotional? You all waited too late to show that you loved me. You let me die because I was annoying to you, then try to say that mourning my death equals loving me all along? Get real! Say the truth: you never loved me and were glad that I died! That way, I wouldn't be around to annoy any of you with my breakdowns! You, Sis, mom, and dad are the worst, most pitiful excuse of siblings and parents on the face of the Earth!"

Jamai: Cen...please stop. You're breaking my heart...!"

Cen: "You say that as if you had a heart to begin with."

Jamai: "Cen!"

When Jamai flies forward to embrace Cen, the latter disappears and reappears somewhere off to the former's side, no matter how many times Jamai tries to hug her sibling.

Cen: "You, Sis, mom, and dad had all of your lives to be nice to me like a true family should, and you blew it. You deserve to feel guilty for the rest of your lives. Let my death haunt all of you FOREVER!"

Cen disappears again and when she reappears this time, it's the scene of her death by Bernard. The sight of the opossacoon beating Cen to death infuriates Jamai. The hybrid freak looks is so proud, so cocky, so happy to make the helpless and vulnerable Cen die a slow and painful death.

Jamai flies toward Bernard with all steam and vinegar, ready to pay him back a millionfold. But the instant before her talons make contact with Bernard, she wakes up from what has become her reoccurring nightmare.

Bu: "It happened again, didn't it? Your dream about Cen?"

Jamai: "Yes, mom."

Bu: "Me too..."

The only comfort Jamai takes in her recent string of nightmares is that the rest of her family is going through the same thing. The dreams vary, but the feelings of guilt and rage are all the same for each of the hawks. In Bu's dreams, Cen focuses on how quickly her family forgot about her and focused on their revenge instead of feeling sad. In Teo's dream, Cen rises from her grave to show how much she is suffering in the afterlife. And in Sis's dream, Cen shows her flashbacks of all the times she wanted to play with her younger sister and was coldly denied, much to Cen's heartbreak. Her cries and whines to her parents were more annoying than the repeated requests to play with her, and Cen reminded Sis how much satisfaction it brought Sis whenever their parents told Cen to shut up and stop being so overly-sensitive.

Bu consoles her oldest daughter in hug and by whispering in a maternal voice of reassurance, "Don't worry. We're going to kill them all. Then the nightmares will go away, and we can get on with our lives again."

Jamai: "I know, mom. I know...When do we start our patrol?"

Bu: "As soon as your sister and dad wake up."

Jamai gives a hard look as sturdy and tough as steel when she says, "Good. Can't wait," in a voice tone that matches her expression.

Bu's voice changes from consoling to warning when she says, "I saw that exact same look on Cen's face before she flew ahead of us too fast. Don't let your emotions get in your way."

Jamai: "Yes. Because that's what got Cen killed."

Bu nods in solemn affirmation, then suggests, "Let's go have a drink. We've got a long day ahead of us."

The mother and daughter quietly make their way out of their nest, glide to the forest floor, then walk to the nearby creek. Both ready to have their revenge, but with a clear head.

---

The other group of birds having trouble sleeping are the ravens. But unlike the hawks, it's because their family member is still alive and suffering.

Poe's ragged, laborious breathing is louder and more chilling than the sleeping noises the possessed girl made from The Exorcist, making it hard to catch some shuteye. Whenever he is awake it's always worse: every movement, no mater how minute, shoots sharp daggers of pain through his nervous system that even his high pain tolerance and masochism can't ignore because it comes from inside his body.

Poe will painfully moan, "It hurts. IIIIIIT HUUUUUUURRRRRRTS! Kill me! Please, in the name of decency KILL ME!"

Edgar: "We kin't Poe. You're our family an' we love you."

Poe: "If you love me then end my suffering! Set me free from this never-ending pain!"

Allan: "What kinda family would we be if we did thet?"

Lenore: "Yeah. We won't kill our own. Unlike dose heartless owls."

Edgar: "You are healin', little bro. By next month you'll be okay."

Poe: " 'Okay'? 'OKAY?!' I'll NEVER be okay again! Lookit me! I've only got one eye, one wing, and permanent breathing issues! *Hack!* *Cough!* I kin't hunt, kin't fly, and kin't even breathe without one'uv you carryin' me around like'a friggin' baby! So add humiliation to the mix! *Wheeze* It's only a'matta'a time before I becomes a li'yabil'uhty. We've made lots'a enemies, and they'll go for me first, cuz of how weak I am! Kill me for your benefit too!"

Edgar, Allan, and Lenore in unison: "Never!"

It's been like this ever since the day Elroy tortured Poe, and the cycle just went on and on. Even for someone as stubborn and headstrong as Allan and Lenore, Poe's pleas and nonstop agony had become too much to bear after the second day. So, they forged a special pact with Poe that they now remind him of in the present.

Allan: "Remember our deal: dose prey animals die first, then you."

Lenore: "And we'll make sure it's you who get dibs on the possum who did all dis to ya."

Hearing those words magically dulls Poe's pain in ways Advil never can, and clears his damaged lungs and trachea better than a good sneeze. Again, like that Darth Vader guy after fighting his ex-master, Poe's anger for Elroy—how unfair it was that the raven has come away on life support, while the possum walked away unscathed—gives Poe strength.

To keep his mind occupied on anything but the pain, Poe also loves brainstorming all the things he is going to say and do to Elroy when they battle again. The words and violence he will inflict on the possum are so numerous, explicit, and extreme that there is no rating level in existence that can ever encompass it; it is too spiteful and graphic. It can only be confined in Poe's sick and twisted imagination—and he has a near-limitless imagination.

His thoughts of maiming Elroy are interrupted when the owl family returns from their night patrol.

Andy the fox is the first to greet them with, "Judging by the odor emanating from you Bubo virginianuses' breath, it's highly conclusive that you five failed to find and kill our enemies once again."

Strix stares hard at Andy as the owl tell him, "For a fox you certainly are a slow learning and bad sense of hearing."

Andy grins at how he irritated the owl and flat out encourages Strix to speak his mind by saying in an inviting tone, "Do tell."

His sister Cassie is equally intrigued and says, "This should be interesting."

Strix lands in front of the young foxes and says to their faces, "How many times do we have to remind you that owls like us don't have a sense of smell and need to use our hearing and eyes to find our prey?" Seeing that his insult has only brought amusement to the fox siblings, Strix says something he knows will wipe those stupid smiles off their muzzles. "Learn to pay attention, and how to get what others say to you through those stupid heads of yours—or else you'll die just like your idiot father."

Cassie's and Andy's faces instantly drop into a frown which quickly becomes a scowl. It also knocks the eloquent speech out of them, making them say what's in their emotions.

Andy: "Our daddy—"

Cassie: "—Was not an idiot."

Strix: "Good to see that you are capable of listening. Do I need to remind you of my species' 'olfactory limitations?' "

Andy: "No. But let us remind you to never talk negatively about our daddy again."

Cassie: "Or we'll make you wish you were never born."

Strix: "I feel like that every day."

Strix flies back into the air with his family and says, "Who's turn is it for the aerial day patrol?"

Rus: "Ow-ers. We'eel start by goin'—"

Due to the nightmares they have had again, the hawks revert back to their thuggish ways as they verbally bully the ravens like they used to.

Jamai: "Oh no you don't, you inbred, hillbilly, trailer park-white-trash, redneck, hicks!"

Bu: "We're taking first patrol! For Cen!"

Edgar: "You can't talk ta our friends like thet! Just because they're from the South don't mean they're all those sectionalist things you said they are!"

Rax puts a calming wing on Edgar's shoulder and says, "Simmer dow-own, Edgar." Rax looks at the hawks to say, "Only ignorant, brain-dead monkeys think Southerners are like tha-yat."

Lenore: "And how many times we gotta say it? Our beef with dose animals is bigger than yours 'cuz Poe is still alive an' sufferin'. If anyone deserves first dibs on morning patrol, it's us!"

Allan: "Yeah. We have clear heads and have planned out the steps to our vengeance. You blockheads're so blinded by revenge you'll end up dying just like Cen."

Bu and Jamai scream while flying toward Allan, but they are intercepted halfway when Bush-Whackers Bramble and Aloe Vera respectively grab the hawks in their mouths by the legs and throw them to the ground.

Bramble (rhetorically): "Remember what da bears said 'bout infighting?"

Aloe Vera: "We gotta work together, no matta how tough it is, if we're to succeed."

Holly Thorn (rhetorically): "And who knows how ta work together betta dan a wolf pack?" (Holds her head high in pride)

Vul the fox clears his throat and says, "Shall we give utterance to an exhortation all of you will find most enthralling?"

Holly Thorn once again has no choice but to honor the pact she and the foxes have, but proposes an idea of her own with, "As long as you speak in simple language, yes."

Vul: "So be it." (Looks at the hawks and ravens) "Now do not take offense, but I believe the reason all previous aerial reconnaissances have proven fruitless is because you birds don't have an acute sense of smell. However, if we paired your eyes in the skies with the snakes' senses of smell on the ground, finding the location of our adversaries will be a guarantee."

Kissie: "The bearsssssss sensssssse of ssssssmell isssssssss much better than our own ssssspeciessssss."

Edith: "We've tried smelling them from here already, and it won't work. There's too much other smells that interfere with ours, keeping us from pinpointing an exact location; from humans, to cars, to pets, to grass, and roads."

Vul: "And therein lies the discrepancy. You have not tried smelling them from within the suburbs. Only the bobcats found out where one of the groups are because they actually were walking in the suburbs."

Ted: "There's no way big bears like us can sneak into the suburbs. It'll attract too much attention."

Vul: "That's why I recommended the snakes among us, not bears. Thanks to their slender size, the snakes can sneak in and find hiding places much easier than bears, bobcats, coyotes, foxes, and wolves—all of whom, while possessing great senses of smell, could attract unwanted attention."

Ted puts his thumb and pointer finger on his chin and nods yes while saying, "I like it. But have you snakes, hawks, and ravens fully recovered from your injuries?"

All those he asked collectively say "No."

Ted sighs and says, "As expected. So we'll take it one step at a time. Today's objective is to just locate where our prey is hiding out." Although he speaks loudly to address all the predators about to carry out today's plan, he locks eyes with the hawks while he reiterates, "Locate, not engage. We'll come up with an attack plan once we have a better understanding of the houses' layouts. Then we'll carry out an attack after we have fully healed."

Vul: "Not bad...for a bear."

Edith: "You got a problem with bears, Vul?"

Vul: "Need I remind you that your mate merely appended my original exhortation. Also—and again I do not intend to mock you—it has been thoroughly concluded that ursines are naturally less in intellectual capabilities than foxes."

Ted: "No offense taken, Vul. I won't make Vincent's mistake. That guy was all muscle and smack-talk, but no brains. My parents raised me differently than most bears. They taught me to treat every enemy as if they could beat me. That way, I relied more on my intelligence than brute strength to fight."

Edith: "My mate is not lying. After Vincent dumped me, I had all sorts of ways Ted and I could overthrow that washed-up, has-been of a King. But Ted quickly talked me out of it because our success would only bring the wrath of all the bears in the Rocky Mountains against us."

Vul: "Similarly, and thanks to the rufus—I mean, bobcats'—blunder, my plan of using the snakes with the birds will reduce the retaliation of humans from 97.4432 percent to a mere 5.0487 percent."

Aggie: "How can you do perssssssentage calculationsssssssss without a calculator?"

Vul: "Because I am 'smart as a fox.' "

Teo: "Alright, enough ego-stroking you insufferable, know-it-all, egghead. Let's get our plan in motion."

Vul: "You are aware that 'egghead' is a compliment, right?"

Teo: "Allow me to do my own analogy. In your particular case, your eggheadedness is akin to Humpty-Dumpty—too high and mighty that he failed to do something as simple as sit down in a manner that prevented falling."

Vul refrains from a comeback so as to move the new plan along, but says in his head, "Says the Buteo jamaicensis whose brain is smaller than a dirt particle..." Out loud he says, "Enough childish games, who wants to get started with today's plan?"

The agreement is unanimous, and in no time, the predators infiltrate the suburbs.

---

The snakes need only to arrive at the first street of the Elysian Fields Estates to collectively muse, "It'ssssss a good thing Vul recommended usssssssss to come into the sssssssuburbsssss by land. Any other terresssssstrial predator would have been eassssily ssssspotted."

The entire street is a hustle and bustle of human activity that Civorus verbally theorizes, "It musssst be sssssssome kind of neighborhood party."

Aggie suggests, "We should probably lisssssten and watch, sssssee what'ssssss all the hub bub."

The snakes stay low and observe. It takes ten minutes, but they find out exactly what they need to know, and how it will change everything for them.

True to his word, Will had called Animal Control at the earliest time possible and after hanging up, he called his neighbors to be on the lookout for bobcats. His neighbors told their neighbors, who then told their neighbors, and so on and so forth until the EFE's HOA President Rowan Beck called for a meeting on the street.

Rowan: "I have been told that some wild animals have been spotted around here recently, and that Animal Control is on their way to set up traps. But Animal Control can't do all the work for us. We must be vigilant and knowledgeable of how to defend ourselves. Now, as the HOA President, I am requiring everyone to do research on common woodland predators and take steps to counter them."

Many people roll their eyes at the "Classic Rowan Beck Tactic" that makes him so unliked around these parts. Usually, HOA Presidents' power is far more limited than most people think. The HOA President can generally tell homeowners to follow new plans, but only if those plans were properly adopted by the HOA Board through a vote and are outlined in the governing documents, meaning they can't unilaterally impose new rules without following the established process in the HOA bylaws.

But Rowan Beck has a nasty habit of doing the opposite: telling people what they can and can't do without the HOA Board's approval—even if people are not part of the HOA—and never gets in trouble for it because of his family ties to the HOA. Beck is distantly related to the founders of the HOA from the mid-1800s, his grandparents headed the HOA when it became an official organization starting in 1963, and his parents are currently THE leading authority figures in the HOA Board. His mother and father always make sure the other Board members agree with their son's ideas, even if he does so before informing the Board. The EFE residents discovered this the hard way, and thus know it's a battle lost before it begins if they try to call him out for overstepping his bounds and abusing his power.

Rowan: "I assure you, this requirement is one of necessity, out of my genuine concern for everyone's safety and well-being in the EFE—humans and pets alike."

No longer satisfied with non-audible gestures of disapproval, now groans come out of all the people at the second Rowan Beck Tactic: touting that he is doing things because he cares about them, when it's really all for his benefit alone.

Politics at its finest.

Rowan knows why the people all groaned, but only demonstrates why he is so insufferable by adding, "I know, it's going to be like doing homework, and no one likes doing that, and what we learn may not even come into play since wild animals are quite unpredictable. But you tell me what's better: preparing for a fight and never seeing action, or having wild animals spreading disease, attacking pets and people, and ruining suburban peace and tranquility?"

He doesn't even let anyone give an answer and continues with, "Now off you go! Back to your homes to do research and assist Animal Control in whatever ways you can when they arrive! I will create an email document for you to fill out proving that you did as I instructed that must be completed by the end of the week. The penalty for refusing to do so will be a $300 fine."

One person shouts, "What?!"

Another yells, "Come one!"

A third cries, "That's ridiculous!"

Rowan tells them in an admonishing tone, "The longer you stand here complaining, the more time you waste. And the more time you waste, the more likely you will have to pay the fine. So I'll say it one more time: off you go!"

The crowd disperses with angry huffs and grumbles. Saul slithers forward and looks at the crowd while telling his fellow snakes, "Ssssssso that'sssssss what they're going to do...We've got a limited timeframe to find which houssssessssss our enemiessssss are in before Animal Control arrivesssss." He turns to face the others while saying, "We'll have to ssssssseparate. SSSSilas and—"

He stops when he notices his three children are not present. He looks around and sees Silas, Aggie, and Civorus going in three separate directions deeper into the suburbs.

Saul grimaces in frustration while grumbling out, "Reading the lasssst page firssssst and sssssskittering of before I finish..." His grimace immediately turns into a smile of pride and he locks his slitted eyes with Kissie as he says, "That'sssssss our children..."

Kissie slithers forward and kisses Saul, their forked tongues dancing in their spouses' mouth. She then says, "Like usual they know what we mussssssst do, and don't wasssssste time. Let'sssssss follow their exssssample."

Saul then looks at his friend Don and tells him, "I ssssssssee Cot and Moc in them, Don. Your boysssssss taught our kidsssss well."

Don sniffs twice; the first one in sadness at the mention of his late sons, and the second in happiness at how they are still alive in Saul's children. "Th-thanksssss, SSSSSSaul. You're a true friend."

Vipe: "Enough monkeying around."

Pit-V: "To borrow what that alpha human jusssst sssssaid, 'Off we go. We are wasssssting time.' "

The reptiles, trusting the kids' and their own intellects to avoid detection and not take unnecessary risks, separate and go deeper into the suburbs. Once again, they give silent praise to Vul's idea of sending them in because snakes don't have much of a natural scent in wide, open areas, unless they are threatened. And prior to leaving, they had bathed in a creek and dried off using herbs to further camouflage their scents. Moreover, without legs, their entire bodies are fully in the grass and other foliage they pass through, making them smell like those. In short, they are invisible to the naked nose. Only Kale might be able to pick up their scents, but they already know which house he is in thanks to the bobcats, so locating the other homes is the snakes' priority.

As for Silas, Aggie, and Civorus, they are motivated by more than just today's objective. They have a lot of weight on their non-existing shoulders: to carry on the ways of their best friends, the late Cot and Moc.

Growing up, the three snake siblings preferred hanging out with Cot and Moc over their parents and have taken it upon themselves to be their friends' living legacy. Even when the snakes were crusading for good, Cot and Moc were the sneakiest of the snakes; "stealth" was their middle name. They enjoyed defeating predators with their super strengthed sneak attacks more than saving the lives of animals in need. The latter acts were normally done by the adults who were older, stronger, and more experienced. It's true that younger snakes have more potent venom because, without proper experience gained from hunting, they use as much of their venom as possible at full power all the time. Cot and Moc also preferred to kill other predators to let off their anger at how other animals hated them just because they were snakes. In this way, they embraced their true nature as snakes long before Kissie's life-changing denouncement, and were the quickest to make the transition from aspiring heroes to dastardly villains after she vowed to act like a true snake. In secret, they were actually hoping something would happen to make their parents abandon their crusade of giving snakes a good name, just so they could get back at all the animals who hated them for being snakes. The three snake siblings got their wish and enjoyed being snaky with parents, their parents' friends, and their best friends Cot and Moc for several years.

But Silas, Aggie, and Civorus expected Cot and Moc to die from a glorious battle covered in their defeated enemies' blood, not a lame death of being crushed by wood. They know Kale and Percie are to blame for that, which makes the wolves' scents that pass through the three snakes' nostrils like an invitation for revenge. Silas, Aggie, and Civorus each consider detouring to the house the wolves are staying in to avenge Cot and Moc, but the soreness in their bodies makes them stay focused on today's task of locating the houses the other prey animals are in, not fighting them.

"Patiencssssssse, kidssssss," their parents' words echo in their minds. They are the most important words for any and all ambush predators, of which younger cottonmouths are known to excel in.

"But I alwayssssss prefer active hunting," each sibling counters in their heads.

"Not today. Not in your condition. Usssssse your head," their rational brains tell their subconsciouses.

The three obey and continue forward.

It's not long before Aggie comes to a yard with a large and sleeping St. Bernard dog in it. Normally a canine's nose can easily pick up the scent of snakes, but thanks to Aggie's plant-drying after her bath, she might as well be the grass she slithers through. She has been tracking the distinct smell of opossacoon.

Aggie ponders, "Ssssssuch a ssssstupid idea, having a hybrid child. The look and sssssscent makessssss it ssssstick out like a flare at night."

She knows she is close. Not only is her own sense of smell excellent, but like all cottonmouth snakes, she can "taste" the air by analyzing chemicals collected by her tongue which she flicks now in order to get an exact location of where to head next. Much to her annoyance, the fastest was to get to her next smell-scan spot is through the yard directly in the path of the sleeping St. Bernard. Even worse, there is a large circle of dirt where the dog is lying down, meaning she will lose her grass cover. "My earlier sssssssimile will now apply to me..." she muses in disdain. She has no choice but to risk it because Animal Control could arrive somewhere at any moment, and the dog will wake up upon sensing unfamiliar humans.

But Aggie doesn't falter, and sneaks toward the dog as stealthily as she can. When she is on the border of grass and dirt, she takes a deep breath and proceeds to cross over the dirt without breathing to further minimize the noise she makes. As a cottonmouth, she can hold her breath for 30 minutes, so there's no danger of her gasping for air in the time it will take her to cross the dirt.

When Aggie is halfway across, her heart stops when the house's back door opens and an adult male human calls out, "Yo Cujo! Time for your walk, boy!"

This person is someone whom the owners have entrusted to take their dog for a walk while they are at work.

Three things happen in three seconds.

First, Cujo wakes up saying "Pla-ay!" in an excited "Alright!" tone.

Second, the human notices the snake in the middle of the yard's dirt patch.

Third, and ever since the door opened, Aggie's mind has shouted, "Ohhhhhhhhhh, SSSSSSSSSSTANG!"

Note: "Stang" is a Star Wars slang/curse word that means the same thing as (for non-swearing purposes) "drat" or "dang"—only with an S and T instead of D! *Gasp* the nerve…

Not only has she been seen by the human, but this man happens to have a case of semi-ophidiophobia—the intense fear of snakes—which he wastes no time proclaiming by screaming in terror, "AAAAAAHHHHH! A SNAAAAAAKE!"

However, the "semi" part comes from how he also has a ruthless hatred of snakes wrought about from when he was six-years-old and his brand-new pet puppy dog died from a venomous snake bite not even a minute after arriving back home from the pet shop where they bought the pooch. The man exemplifies this when his fear is replaced with rage and determination when he roars, "I'LL KILL YOOOOOOU! WORTHLESS, LEGLESS, DEVLISH, OVERGROWN WORM!"

Cujo has already been barking aggressively at Aggie—his harsh "Play, play. Play!" coming off as "Get back. Now!"

Aggie: "I'm not here to fight you. Jusssst passsssing through."

When Cujo growls while barring his teeth, Aggie realizes she may have to kill the St. Bernard. But the canine runs away when the man says, "Get away for it, Cujo! C'mere boy!"

With her pathway to a fence now clear of obstacles, Aggie slithers as fast as she can, her eyes fixated on a small gap near the bottom which will allow her to easily slip through.

That's all the cottonmouth focuses on, until the human shouts, "Oh no you don't!" and picks up a nearby flathead shovel. Aggie turns around and gasps as the spiteful man has leaped off the back porch with the tool's metal end baring down on her like a spear. Although flathead shovels are blunt by design, a hard enough hit can cut through solid objects—and easily cut a snake like Aggie in half.

Rather than try to slither forward, Aggie does what the human will not expect by slithering toward him. To ensure she doesn't get hit, she lunges her body forward the last microsecond before the shovel hits its intended mark.

Her plan doesn't fully work, because she lets out a loud hiss as her tail is severed from her body. She won't die, but it hurts a lot.

The bloodlusting human taunts her with, "Yeah! Hurts doesn't it?! Now to end your pain, you miserable piece of sludge!"

He leaps back and soon brings the flathead shovel back down, this time at Aggie's head. Little does he know that in response to his gloating, Aggie answered in animal language, "You. Do not know. Who. You are FOOLING WITH!"

The man thinks he is dreaming when Aggie opens her mouth, bites down on the metal portion of the shovel, and stops the tool's momentum completely. Try as he might, he can't make the shovel move an inch downward.

He then plays into Aggie's non-existing hand when he jumps up, intending to land both feet on the steps of the shovel. With his full weight no longer bearing down on her, Aggie jerks her head to the right, flinging the mid-air human and shovel to the side. He hits the side of the house with the force of falling out of bed onto a hardwood floor. It only takes him two seconds to regain his equilibrium, but that has been more than enough time for Aggie to close the distance and bite him on the ankle.

The man instantly feels like two hypodermic needles have struck his ankle, along with a painful burning sensation that's getting worse with each passing second.

He hammers his clenched fist down onto Aggie's head, but she doesn't flinch. Then he remembers the snake's tail. He grabs the bleeding tip where her tail used to be and squeezes it as hard as he can. This gets Aggie to release him and then she bites him in the leg. In the time it took her to let go of his ankle and bite the leg, the man noticed the white-colored liquid dripping from the snake's fangs and knows he has been poisoned with the reptile's venom.

The pain becomes too much for him and he can no longer try to force the snake off. That's when Cujo shows up, barks twice, then bites down on the snake. His barks of "Play PLAY play!" have the intensity of "Get OFF him!" Aggie does, but now strikes at Cujo. She bites Cujo on the left cheek, forcing him to drop her out of instinct to yelp "Play!" as if he said "Ouch!"

Aggie doesn't hesitate, and slithers to the gate and under it while berating in angst, "All thisssss trouble to go through a door?! Rot your gutsssss, ssssnake haterssss!"

Fortunately for Cujo, Aggie's bite had been a dry one without any venom, as had her bite on the man's leg. The reason she refrained from using her venom on those two places was to conserve her venom, because it can take cottonmouths several weeks to recharge their venom supply if they use it all up. She also only used about one-fourth of her venom supply, leaving herself plenty to use in case she needs it.

But she chose her venomous bite well: the human ankle has many veins and arteries, which are now coursing with her poison. The man pulls out his cell phone to call 911 whereby he reports that he and his neighbor's dog have been bitten by a cottonmouth snake, and where they currently are located. He is told to remain calm, avoid unnecessary movement, and wait for the ambulance to arrive.

Seeking comfort, the man clicks his tongue to get Cujo to come near him. He strokes the dog and says, "That was no snake. It was a monster...But we're gonna be okay, Cujo."

Aggie overhears him and smirks at the being called a monster, because she is one. She knows that her bite at that area will require the man to have his foot (possibly whole leg) amputated—a suitable revenge for her loss of a tail.

---

The hawks and ravens are circling high in the air above the Elysian Fields Estates and are avoiding the owls' mistake by using their acute sense of hearing to communicate with each other at normal volume instead of using walkie talkies. Of course, there are twice the number of daytime avians (ten instead of five), which means they have less ground to patrol and are closer together to boot. Each predatory bird is flying high above the area where each snake is traveling on the ground; the exception is Teo and Lenore who are working together. They all wish they had 12 in number, but Cen is dead and Poe can no longer fly—facts that they use for extra motivation.

Teo: "Aggie really taught that foolish dog and human a lesson."

Lenore: "Well if you esk me, dey certainly hed it comin'."

Teo: "But is she at least on the right track for finding where those fur-brained fleabags are?"

Lenore: "Why you eskin' me?"

Teo: "As a raven you have a much better sense of smell than a hawk like me. I can barely smell a thing."

Lenore: "Oh yeah, forgot about thet."

Lenore takes a big sniff with her eyes focusing on the houses Aggie is traveling near.

Lenore: "Hard ta say. I kin pick up the smell'a pets—some bathed some not—but can't detect the usual scents of dee animels we're efter."

Sis: "What about the rest of you ravens?"

Allan: "Oh, we haven't tried sniffin' 'cuz you didn't say to."

Sis: "My dad's request should've been implied for the rest of you, ya buncha dimwits!"

Co: "Watch yer tone, rude lay-dee. No one's per-fey-ect."

Allan (to Sis): "Why don't ya come here an say thet ta my face?!"

Vus: "No ney-eed fer feudin' n' fussin'. Eye took the li-ber-tee of smellin' while yew tew argued. Eye'm keepin' ta-yabs on Vipe, and he's nearin' a howm whare the sku-unks must be."

Vus uses his keen eyesight to look far below and sees Vipe approach the Robinson house. There is a vinyl fence separating their backyard from their across-neighbor's un-fenced yard, which Vipe wisely uses to his advantage. Vus notices the cottonmouth sniff and flick his tongue in the direction of the Robinson's home, which the reptile does for a full minute. When that time has elapsed, the snake looks up in the sky, using his infrared pits to locate Vus since a cottonmouth's regular vision is short-sighted. Once the bird and snake locate each other, Vipe uses his tail to point at the Robinson house behind the fence, then taps his tail on the ground once to indicate yes.

Vus now looks over at Sis and says, "Some of the-yem are in thay-at house right ch'yonder."

Sis: "Which one?"

Vus: "The one we-yith the truck in the driveway-eee." (1)

Edgar: "Dare's another group of animals where Saul is. Smells like otters."

Co: "Another group's ay-at that how-owse with the swimmin' poo-ool near ee-yet. Whare Civorus is."

Rax: "He ha-yas found whare them wolves be stayin'. At tha-yat big how-owse ri-ight chare. He's showing uh-us so we can know what it looks liiiike"

Lenore: Kissie hes located where those lizards and beavers're staying."

Allan: "And Don found da house with the lady possum-raccoon hybrid." (Dark and hate-filled) "And her mate who tortured Poe...It's gonna be very satisfyin' killin thet rat."

Jamai: "Nicely done, Vus. You started the domino effect that accomplished our goals for today.

Allan: "But just so ya know, Vus, thet's no truck." (1)

Edgar: "The vehicle parked at da house I'm flyin' ov'a—a three story brick house with a gya'den in the front yah'd." (1)

Lenore: "Yeah. Thet's a truck." (1)

Vus and Sis look over to where Edgar pointed out and can see a large, silver Ford F-250 truck with oversized wheels parked out front, then look back at the Robinson's driveway, and no one needs a nanosecond to confirm the difference with the Robinson's black Jeep Gladiator. (1)

Rather than a typical "ha," Vus's laugh comes out as, "Hee-yuh, hee-yuh, hee-yuuhh! Thay-at sure ee-yis a re-eal truck, tharrr, Edgar."

All the ravens grin at the verbal exchange as it represents another example why these Northern and Southern ravens have such comradery. Like his mate and cousin, Vus grew up in the "Hillbilly Section" of rural Mississippi, and yet the New Jerseyan ravens Edgar, Allan, and Lenore are out-rednecking them. (1) This makes all the ravens reminisce of how this common occurrence first began.

Note: (1)=Based on The Jersey Devil by Hunter Shea.

---

Contrary to the popular insult, the American South (and Deep South by extension) is not inbred-ridden—that belief has been proven to be an ignorant stereotype. But it was because of that very common misconception that the New Jerseyan ravens became friends with the Mississippian ones. When the ravens first met and revealed where they were from, Poe had asked, "We heard an old sayin' thet rural Southerners marry their own fami'ly mem'bas, but thet's not really true is it?"

Poe was nervous when he had asked that and afraid he would offend Vus, Co, and Rax. To the Northerners' delight, the Southerners seemed amused, and spoke in happy-go-lucky tones.

Co had answered, "Not even a lil'. In fa-yact, da region we-ith the most inbreedin' was me-yid-eval Eurrro-ope. Abo-out 61 perce-yent of the-yem royal fam-uh-lies wanted tew may-an-tay-ain all thar money and power, so they married thar own relatives who were already ri-ich and powerful."

Rax had added, "Some say the song 'Sweet Home Alabama' should pla-yay whenever inbreddin' ee-yis confirmed. But a mo-ore appro-pri-ye-et song'id be, 'Sweet Home Medieval Europe'!"

Everyone cracked up at that, and their bonds of friendship had been sealed ever since.

How the Southern ravens had taken the common insult, given evidence of the contrary, then turned it on its head is what the New Jerseyan ravens find most enjoyable about Vus's, Co's and Rax's company.

As for the three latter, they enjoy Edgar's, Allan's, Poe's, and Lenore's boisterous nature, how they were such rowdy party animals. Growing up in Atlantic City—the gambling capital of the North—had made them that way. With all the bright lights, theme park rides, cheers of victory, wails of loss, piling coins coming out of slot machines, honking car horns, and testy pedestrians, the four Northern ravens could only turn out exactly as loud and flashy as their hometown. They even imitated some of the games of chance and gambled with each other using food as currency. They partied day and night, and any creatures who were attracted to their noise looking for a snack were easily dispatched with the ravens' super strength, and the partying continued.

The Southern ravens grew up in the quiet and serenity of the country, where banjos and hunting guns made the loudest sounds. They were introverts whereas their Northern counterparts were extroverts, and each side helped the other become more like themselves. Edgar, Allan, Poe, and Lenore have encouraged the Southern ravens to be more outgoing, boastful whenever the situation called for it, and having more fun. Vus, Co, and Rax taught the Northern ravens the importance of being quiet and reserved since drawing too much attention to yourself can be a bad thing, and rural Mississippi had humans whose entire diet relied on hunting animals using firearms.

---

The ravens' sweet nostalgia is cut short when Teo groans and asks, "How can you tolerate each other's annoying voices?"

Sis: "Yeah. It's driving me nuts. It's like the stereotype of the stereotype."

Jamai: "Freaks..."

Allan: "Oh sure, just call us 'freaks' because of the way we talk, instead of how we look and ect." (Sarcastic) "Yeah, me and my relatives're a buncha run-down, cockroach-infested city dwellin', nasal-nose, grade-A-pricks looking ta start a fight just because someone we don't know is in sight."

Though she speaks sarcastically like Allan, the fact that Co must strain her brain and voice to reduce her accent so that her comebacks would be better understood means the hawks are really in for it. "And we're a buncha back-woods, barefooted, shirtless, overall-wearing, straw-in-our-mouth, outhouse-usin', dirt road-travelin', half-brained, country-folk who have dibs ta marry our own siblings."

Vus: "But in all seer-riousness, better to ha-yav freaks fer friends, than no friends ah-yat all. Y'all hawks are so obsse-yessed we-ith bullyin' others thay-at y'all got no friends except each other."

Edgar: "Yeah. You're gonna end up inbreeding because you'll never get married with your bad attitudes. S'no wonder Cen's death has been so hyard for ya."

Seeing how the hawks' faces scrunch into angry glares, Rax decides to put an end to this argument by reminding them all, "But the re-eal freaks are them 'possum-raya-coon, and skunk-ca-yat hybrids we should be lookin' fer. Back tew work, y'all!"

The avians put their feud on hiatus and refocus on their tasks. Their eyes widen when they see a bustle of activity going on below—and none of it is good for their snake allies. Saul, Civorus, and Don are being cornered by animal control. Aggie and Vipe are being chased by a verminator. Silas and Pit-V are about to be shot by a police officer. And Kissie is trying to out pace what Bu initial thinks is a kid in a dinosaur suit driving a lawnmower, only to look closer and confirm that it's an iguana.

None of the hawks and ravens want to be the reason more of their fellow predators are killed or captured—and they may be killed for not doing their jobs when they are forced to explain it to the Bush-Wacker Pack and the bears—so they act fast and will figure out how things got this way later.

---

The first Animal Control truck arrives 20 minutes after Rowan Beck's kindly-crafted ultimatum, and the driver and passenger are none other than Reed and Bethany. Both people are the best trappers, so they were the most logical choice to send to the EFE. Various-sized traps are in their pickup truck's truck bed as well as the backseats inside. They stop in front of Will's and Mia's home where they introduce themselves, ask for Will to recount the run-in with bobcats he had last night, and then set up some traps in the yard. When they arrive back to their truck, there is an oddly-dressed man waiting for them who seems strangely familiar to the pair.

The man greets them with, "Hello there, my fellow Animal Control 'cousins', my name is Pierre Stanton. I'm a verminator you see, which is not too far removed from your job."

Reed: "Did you just say your last name is Stanton?"

Pierre: "That's right."

Reed: "You wouldn't happen to be Dilbert Stanton's father, would you?"

Pierre (very upbeat tone): "Right again. And you must be none other than Reed and Bethany. My son's told me all about you two."

Bethany thinking: "Introducing himself in a glamourous way, trying to create a familial connection despite the differences between Verm-Tech and Animal Control, and ending in an overly-cheerful tone...Yep, you're Dilbert's father alright." (Out loud) "Why are you here, Mr. Stanton? It wasn't to greet us."

Pierre: "How right you are, Ms. Bethany. I was present at Homeowner Association President Rowan Beck's speech and he said the most interesting of things: that Animal Control will be coming to set up traps to counter the increasing incursion of wild animals in the Elysian Fields Estates. I'm here to help you out."

Reed: "We appreciate the offer, Mr. Stanton, but Bethany and I are just the first two Animal Control officers here right now; more are on the way. We'll have more than enough personnel to set up traps."

In no mood for a repeat of the ordeal she and Reed went through with Pierre's son, Bethany quickly adds, "And Verm-Tech was not hired by Rowan Beck to deal with the animal problem. We were."

Rather than being dissuaded by Bethany, Pierre is only more enthralled when he replies, "Please, you've got it all wrong. I'm not here to steal your job, I'm here to help you do your job as effective as humanly possible. If you want, I can show you the best places to set up more traps. I've lived and patrolled the EFE all my life, so I am not exaggerating when I say that I know these streets like the back of my hand—including the most likely places wild animals would go to get in and to escape."

Reed: "Really? And where would that be?"

Pierre: "The hedge that leads to the state-protected forest is the primary infil and exfil paths that wild animals use to get in and out of the suburbs. Concentrate most of your traps there."

Bethany: "I see...But that thing's over a mile long, so even with all of our fellow Animal Control colleagues, we wouldn't have enough traps to put in each and every yard over such a long area."

Pierre: "But my son and I know which exact yards wild animals use most often to enter and leave. So, are you interested in my help?"

Bethany and Reed look at each other and mull over similar things in their minds. Deciding that the benefits outweigh the detriments, Reed speaks for both when he says, "Lead the way, Mr. Stanton."

Pierre: "Please, call me Pierre."

He gets into his van while the two get in their truck, and when both vehicles crank on, the verminator leads the way.

---

Officer Pavlov is driving his police car in the suburbs to visit Lyle after the teen requested him to come meet his parents and to give him some pointers on how to become a police officer. Having received a promotion for his heroic efforts from the day the hedgies went into town, Pavlov now has more authority and autonomy to what he can do with his job as a policeman. He of course, will neither abuse his new power nor use it for personal gain. Usually, he would consider this meeting too personal in that it has nothing to do with law enforcement and he should be spending his time elsewhere. However, because he is going to show Lyle the ropes to become a law enforcement officer, it is contributing to his job.

Lyle had not exaggerated when he had explained his family was in poverty, because out of all the houses in the EFE, his was the smallest and in most need of repairs. The paint on the outside is flaking off, revealing the old and worn-out brown wood beneath; the driveway is full of cracks and is angled-up in a few spots where tree roots had grown under the concrete; the tree in the center of the yard is dead and is surrounded by tall grass that hasn't been cut; the mailbox is rusty; and one of the garage door windows is a garbage bag that has been duct taped in place.

When Pavlov had rung the doorbell, Lyle's father Terry opened it and immediately assumed the worst and pleaded, "Please don't arrest me! I promised the mortgage company I'd send them my payment as soon as I get my first paycheck from whatever job hires me!"

Pavlov: "Relax, sir, I'm not here to arrest you or put you back on track with any of your payments. I'm Officer Pavlov, and your son Lyle asked me to drop by to meet you and your wife."

Terry: "Oh, thank goodness. Come on in, but I warn you it's not a pretty sight."

Pavlov enters and sees that the inside of the house is in worse condition than the outside. Like a junkyard, items and clothes are haphazardly strewn around the dirty carpet, which has missing sections. Discarded cigarette butts are on countertops, adding to the strong and unpleasant smell of being in a smoker's dwelling. All the furniture is old and outdated, with some held together with duct tape, and a few are broken entirely. Chair and sofa cushions and couch pillows don't match, and have holes in them. Lastly, the walls have scratches, dents, or gaps that no one has fixed.

Terry: "Hey Lyle! There's an Officer Pavlov here to talk to you."

Lyle's mother Zoe comes from the living room and raises her voice toward the direction of Lyle's room as she accusingly asks her son, "Lyle! What did you do this time?!"

Terry: "Easy, Zoe, this is the same officer our son told us about from last week when those animals ran amok in the shopping district."

Zoe: "Phew, that's a relief."

Lyle enters the hallway and his face brightens when he sees the man in uniform. "Officer Pavlov! Thanks for coming by!"

Terry: "You asked him to come here?"

Zoe: "Why didn't you tell us?"

Pavlov: "Da, that is a good question."

Lyle: "Well...I knew my parents would've said no because they don't like any cops."

Pavlov looks at Terry and Zoe and asks, "Why is that? I promise not to judge you, I just want to know why."

Terry: "Zoe and I...are...uh, ex-cons. We were busted for grand theft auto and DUI when we were teens."

Zoe: "We've paid our debts to society and have changed our ways. But it's very hard for people like me and my husband to find a job that pays benefits."

Pavlov nods to show his sympathy with an all-too-common, reasonable, yet unfair norm of society. Any job applicant with a criminal record is either rejected, or placed at the bottom of a very long list, the job going to someone without a criminal record who is more qualified (or rather, fits the vision of the kind of person the employers seek to hire).

Terry: "We've been struggling to find work, and every job we do get barely lets us cover our bill payments. Not to mention we keep getting eviction warnings from Rowan Beck for how 'ugly and dilapidated' our 'eyesore of a home' is in the 'pristine elegance that is the Elysian Fields Estates.' "

Zoe: "I don't know how that guy lives with himself. He cares more about upholding the HOA codes and rules than he does about human beings—especially poor folks like us who would pay to fix up our house and yard if we could afford it. We've explained our situation to him, but that snob still demands us to pay the proper fees on-time, or he'll blow the whistle about our criminal history to the HOA Board, who will vote us out of the EFE and into the homeless shelter that Beck always threatens us with."

Pavlov: "Then why did you choose to live here if it costs so much?"

Zoe: "This was my parents' house when I was a kid, and after getting out of prison we were given it by them. Then one year later, Rowan Beck was elected as the HOA president and all the fees and nitpicking regulations went up big time."

Lyle: "We can't sell this house because no one wants to live in this dump."

Terry: "Lyle!"

Lyle: "Well it's true. And what's worse is that even if someone did buy our house, we wouldn't get enough money to afford a new home."

Pavlov finally puts two and two together when he rhetorically asks, "So that's why you smoked and sold weed, da? To deal with the stress and make money?"

Lyle: "Yes sir."

His parents aren't only aware of Lyle's weed dealings, they encouraged it. However, it was for as right of a reason as possible, as his parents explain.

Zoe: "But he did it because he had no other choice. People forget that sometimes crimes are done not by choice, but out of desperation."

Terry: "We are out of our luck and in dire need of money to pay the bills and feed ourselves. That's also why Zoe and I stole a parked car when we were 18-years-old; we were going to sell it to someone who promised us a lot of money if we brought it to him. But it ended up costing us more than we could ever imagine..."

Lyle: "But now that I want to become a police officer, I can earn some honest money and help out my parents."

Zoe: "That's very noble of you son. But no offense, but I don't think any police academy will accept someone like you."

Terry: "Yeah, I heard that it's impossible for ex-cons to become cops."

Pavlov: "That's where you're both wrong. Yes, just a single felon is an automatic disqualifier for law enforcement job applications. And I know your son is a weed dealer, but I have not reported it to my superiors. I will handle your son's background check and exclude that part. To them, he will be just another young and eager recruit wanting to become a cop."

Terry: "Isn't that illegal? And you're a cop for crying out loud."

Pavlov: "Sometimes, in extreme situations, one must bend the laws in order to do the right thing. Like I did when I refused to stay on traffic patrol, and instead went to go do something about the animal attacks in town last week."

Lyle: "First off, do you need to go to college to be a policeman?"

Pavlov: "Nyet. Only a high school diploma or GED is required."

Lyle: "Good thing I passed with a C-plus average."

Pavlov: "Bachelors and Associates degrees are for federal officers, not local. You must also pass a physical fitness test, a medical and psychological exam, interview with an employer, attend a police academy, and the Basic Ability Test for Law Enforcement Officers. I will help you with all of the above, but it will be mainly up to you to study hard and commit yourself mentally and physically to this line of work."

Terry: "I don't know how we can repay you."

Pavlov: "Just stay out of trouble with authorities and that will be enough."

Zoe: "But why are you doing this for our son? He was a complete stranger to you, and one who broke the law by selling and doing weed."

Pavlov: "Because without your son's help, I wouldn't have been able to do any of the things I did that day. Heck, I would have died. Lyle not only helped me do my job and brought me to a hospital, he flat out rejected his former life as an upcoming criminal and swore to become a policeman. How could I not want to help someone like that?"

After some thank you's, handshakes, and hugs Officer Pavlov explained the details of how Lyle can apply to be a police officer. He also brought the 19-year-old all the literature he must read to study for his tests. Best of all, Pavlov promised to have a talk with Rowan Beck, as the HOA president has himself broken the law—Federal Crime of Blackmail and Extortion 18 U.S.C. § 873 to be exact, according to Pavlov—by threatening to reveal Terry's and Zoe's criminal history if they don't make payments on-time.

Once they talked about the best dates to take Lyle's tests and begin his physical training, Pavlov bid his goodbyes-for-now and got back into his police cruiser; feeling great satisfaction of all he got accomplished from this one visit.

He drives down three blocks when he notices an Animal Control truck following behind a verminator van at a stop sign. He doesn't see the faces of driver and passenger, but knows who they are because he recognizes the truck. It's the one that his friend Bethany and her partner Reed use.

Curious, Pavlov tunes to the radio frequency Bethany had given to him a while back and presses the talk button.

Pavlov: "Privet, Bethany!—Hello!"

Bethany's voice: "Pavlov? What're you calling me for?"

Pavlov: "I was in the police cruiser at the intersection you just passed. Oh, and is Reed with you?"

Reed's voice (in a bad impression of a Russian accent): "Da, Comrade Officer Pavlov."

Pavlov rolls his eyes and asks, "Anyway, I was wondering why you are following that verminator, Bethany?"

Bethany's voice: "There've been reports of wild animals roaming around the EFE lately, and HQ sent us down here to set up traps. We then ran into this verminator who said he knows these streets very well, and can lead us to the best places to set more traps."

Pavlov: "More wild animal incidents?"

Reed's voice: "I know what you're saying, Pavlov. After what happened last week, one might think things are turning out like that crappy B-movie, Day of the Animals."

Pavlov: "I happen to like that 'crappy B-movie', Reed. It's so bad it's good."

Reed's voice: "You have strange tastes, Pavlov, even for a half-Russki."

Bethany's voice volume is low when she says, "Give me that," as she takes the radio's walkie talkie part out of Reed's hand. Her volume is normal when she says, "And why might you be here, Pavvy?"

Pavlov: "Just had a visit with one of the main survivors of last week's animal attack and am now on my way to my regular patrols."

Bethany's voice: "Happy hunting."

Pavlov: "Heh-heh, good hunting to you as well."

Reed does another bad Russian accent as he raises his voice loud enough for Pavlov to hear him. "Do svidaniya, Comrade! Ura!"

With a sigh, Pavlov changes to the regular radio frequency. Reed is a rather Conservative American whose great uncle (whom he idolized) fought in the Vietnam War. His great uncle's parents had also been raised under the second Red Scare. Such a communist-hating family had a large impact on how Reed viewed Russians. But to his credit, Reed isn't racist, he just likes to playfully make fun of those of Russian decent.

Pavlov drives two more blocks when his radio buzzes on.

Dispatch: "Any nearby units, we have received a code 10-91e. In particular, a copperhead snake bite. Victim is at 6952 Flower Road, Elysian Fields Estates, zip code 46041. Paramedics are en route, but any nearby officers who want to head to the victim's location to ensure scene safety, please acknowledge, over."

Pavlov picks up his radio's walkie talkie and says, "This is Unit 87. I am in the EFE and will proceed to the victim's location to ensure scene safety, over."

Dispatch: "10-4, Unit 87."

Pavlov: "Give me the victim's address one more time, over."

Dispatch: "Victim's address is 6952 Flower Road, Elysian Fields Estates, zip code 46041, over."

Pavlov: "10-4, Dispatch. On my way now, over."

Dispatch: "Dispatch confirms, Unit 87. Over and out."

Pavlov types the address into his phone which he then places in a car phone mount and follows the directions there, using his siren and lights to bypass Stop signs. He arrives in three minutes instead of six, makes sure he has all the equipment he needs, then exits his car.

Pavlov walks to the front door, and after hearing the barking of what has to be a big dog, Pavlov knocks and asks loudly to heard over the barks, "This is Officer Pavlov, I'm here in response to your snake bite! May I come in?!"

Pavlov is surprised when the voice comes not from inside the house, but from outside. "Hush, Cujo. I'm in the backyard with my neighbor's pet dog! Go through the side fence on your right!"

Pavlov obeys and is through to the backyard in no time. He hesitates when the large St. Bernard dog growls menacingly at him, but the man on the ground tells the dog, "Easy Cujo. He's here to help. It's a good human. Goooood."

Cujo stops growling, but still stands as if he could lunge forward at any moment.

The man says, "Sorry about that. Cujo doesn't like strangers, but once he gets to know them, he'll be like a big, fluffy rug with legs. My name's Calvin, but you can call me Cal. This is my neighbor's house and I take care of their pet dog while they're gone at work. But when I came back here to feed Cujo and take him for a walk, there was a cottonmouth snake crawling in the middle of the yard. I have a fear of snakes, so I freaked out and tried to kill it myself, but that thing was strong! It held back my shovel and threw me against a fence."

Pavlov: "A snake did all that to you?"

Cal: "Yeah, figured you wouldn't believe me. I hardly believe it myself. But it's not a normal snake. It was a monster."

Pavlov: "I do believe you."

Cal: "Really?"

Pavlov: "Da, but show me where you were bitten."

Cal points while saying, "My left ankle...I know a lot about snake bites so I've been keeping calm, taken my shoe off, kept my leg below my heart level, and haven't moved. Cujo was bitten in the face."

Pavlov: "You washed the wounds yet?"

Cal: "No. Here's the house key. Could you go get some soap and water in a cup, please?"

Pavlov accepts the key with a nod yes and says, "Of course. Be back in a flash." While Pavlov gets the things Cal needs, the officer ponders, "Ironic...My career as a true police officer began last week, and I have dealt more with animals than human criminals. But as long as I help the people, I'm happy."

By now, Pavlov arrives back outside and washes Cal's wound. In a scene very reminiscent from Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Pavlov turns toward Cujo and says, "Now, I'm gonna put this on you—" only for the dog to aggressively bark and growl. Pavlov wisely backs up and hands the soap and water cup over to Cal while saying, "Okay...Cal, you do it," his eyes not straying from the canine.

Cal: "Nuh-uh, Cujo! Be nice."

While Cal washes Cujo's bite wound, Pavlov asks, "So, the owners named their St. Bernard dog, Cujo?"

Cal: "Yep, and for the very reason you'd expect: they're big Stephen King fans."

Pavlov gives a one-sided toothless grin at the not-so-ironic reason. Suddenly, the two humans' and one dog's heads turn in the direction of ambulance sirens approaching and parking in front of the house. Pavlov goes out the gate to meet the paramedics and leads them to Cal and Cujo.

Thanks to Cal's clear description of the kind of snake that bit him and Cujo, this ambulance has arrived with a shot of cottonmouth anti-venom. More and more American hospitals these days now keep a stock of anti-venoms for the sole purpose of caring for snake bite victims as soon as the ambulance arrives on the scene.

Once the shot is given, one of the paramedics says, "We're taking you to the hospital Mr. Cal. Your bite wound looks serious and needs more medical attention."

Cal: "Don't forget about the dog, Cujo. He was bitten too."

The paramedic says, "We're not trained to treat animals. He needs to go to a vet, pronto."

Cal: "Let him ride with us. He doesn't do too well with strangers."

Pavlov: "It's true."

Paramedic: "Is he your service dog, or important for your emotional well-being?"

Knowing that the paramedics will deny Cal's request for Cujo to come along, before Cal can respond with the truth of no, Pavlov intercedes with, "Yes. Cujo is vital for Cal's emotional well-being. Isn't that what you told me, da?"

Cal's initial confusion is replaced with a clear picture when he looks into Pavlov's eyes. "Yes. Without Cujo, I'd get panic attacks, and that's the last thing I need for a snake bite."

Paramedic: "As long as he doesn't try messing around with equipment, let's take 'em both."

The paramedics load Cal onto a stretcher and take him to the ambulance with Cujo following close behind.

Pavlov watches the ambulance drive off, and is about to get back into his car when he sees a snake slithering across the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street. Having demonstrated its aggressiveness toward people, there is no doubt that the reptile will attack any other person who crosses its path. So doing nothing is out of the question. And with Animal Control busy setting up traps they may miss the snake altogether. Pavlov knows what he must do, but the bite wound in his leg has yet to fully heal and the doctor said not to push himself too hard.

Luckily, Pavlov's recent promotion has given him more importance and subsequently access to better resources. He walks over to the trunk of his cruiser and gets out a police segway; equipped with sirens and a weapon holster. It might look comical to the human eye, but for a snake it would be a death mobile. Pavlov has been used to segways ever since he got one for his thirteenth birthday, so he'll have zero trouble operating one now.

He mounts it and speeds off toward the snake, who happens to be Silas. The teenage snake had just finished wrapping a piece of monkey grass tightly around his twin sister's bleeding tail tip and is trying to find the location of another group of the prey animals after hearing from Aggie that she has found the house where the male opossacoon is staying.

Admittedly, he's a tad jealous that his little sister has accomplished a major task first, while winning a harrowing fight in the process. "I'm the oldessssst," he broods. "Mom birthed me firsssst. I should be the better one. It'sssssss going to hard to top off what Aggie did, but I'll find a way."

It's then that Silas hears the sound and feels the vibrations of an electric-powered vehicle coming his way. He looks over his nonexistent shoulder and notices a policeman on a segway coming his way. Thinking the officer is just trying to go where he is needed, Silas first slithers out of the way to give the man all the room he needs. But when the officer turns his segway toward Silas, that's when the snake realizes the human is after him.

Silas mentally curses his sister by musing, "Dang you Aggie! He thinksssssss I'm the one who attacked that man and dog! Why doesssss thisssss alwayssssss happen to me?!"

Silas has a brief mental recap of how his Aggie's sibling rivalry was caused by how Aggie would do bad things and point an accusing tail tip at him and say "He did it!" And everyone would believe her and he'd get in trouble. She did this because she knows she will never be as strong, fast, or deadly as him, and thus tries to outdo him the cowardly way: placing the blame on him and hiding behind someone else's back while he suffers the punishment.

Aggie wouldn't have succeeded in that if she wasn't so honest all the time. For a snake, she is incredibly truthful, openly admits when she's gotten something wrong, and has a big problem with others telling lies. The only exception is that she will always lie about what he has done—or not done. And because she has a reputation for never lying, everyone believes her.

And it seems that she has done so again.

Silas doesn't have time to ponder whether or not it was intentional or coincidence, and figures he will use this to his advantage. "After all, I jusssst wished for sssssssomething that will put me in my rightful placsssssse above her, and now I've got the opportunity!"

Silas shoots through the grass closest to the sidewalk like a bullet, making Pavlov's eyes widen in disbelief. He immediately overcomes his surprise and puts on more speed. Silas then goes deeper into the yard, and as expected, the segway has off-road wheels. "I'm going to enjoy thisssss challenge." Silas says in his mind while giving a smirk.

Silas could bite one of the segway's tires, causing the officer to fall, and then bite him. But that would be too easy, thus cheapening his glory. Silas correctly theorizes that this policeman needs the segway to move fast, otherwise the man with such a healthy physique would try to catch him on foot. Therefore, the snake plans to win by attrition. He will go through yard after yard, leading the officer through an obstacle course of lawn furniture, flowerbeds or pots, and children's toys. He'll drain the segway's battery and force the cop to engage him mano a mano.

"Thisssss issssss gonna be fun!"

---

After pointing out the house where Group 6 is holed up in, Civorus wants to go find Don and share the exact location of the wolves who killed his sons. Similar to the hedgies, Don is such a close friend of Kissie and Saul that Civorus calls him "uncle," even though his parents and siblings remind him that there technically is no real family tie to Don. Don, however, enjoys the term and encourages Civorus to use it whenever he wants.

Civorus might be the youngest of his siblings at the age of 11, but he is the strongest of Saul's and Kissie's children. One way Saul and Kissie trained their kids is by having them spar with each other (as well as Cot and Moc). Being the youngest, Civorus was initially seen as the obligatory "punching bag" of the older snake children. Much to their surprise, whenever they tried to fight with Civorus—alone or together—he easily overpowered and defeated them, albeit out of self-defense. Each year on their birthday, Silas and Aggie tried to defeat Civorus, only for him to defeat them, making the siblings loathingly question "How does he always do that?!"

Civorus would always respond with a cocky, "Becaussssssse I'm stronger than you. And you know it!"

Silas, Aggie, Cot, and Moc became his punching bags in sparring matches. The only times they would only win was if they didn't spar against him. He soon became the main hitman of Cot and Moc whenever the snakes attacked other predators and later all animals. Cot and Moc relied on stealth, but Civorus relied on brute strength. He always made his parents and "uncle" so proud.

Civorus is so caught up in his sweet nostalgia that he doesn't notice the Animal Control officer until he is gripped in the human's snake tongs .

The male human condescendingly says, "Easy there, fella. I'm just gonna put you in this bag and you'll be taken back into the woods where you belong."

Civorus mentally retorts in a patronizing tone, "You don't know me very well..." He whips his body around the soft rubber blades of the tongs and snaps them like toothpicks.

The Animal Control officer gasps and shouts, "What the?!" before having to run away when Civorus lunges toward him for a bite.

Civorus didn't intend to actually attack, just scare the man away. His plan works as the human rounds the corner of a house that takes him to the driveway where his car is parked. The man says, "That was one strong and dangerous snake..."

Civorus smirks and turns to continue heading to where Don's scent is, but then the human proves he is more than meets the eye when he continues with, "Which means I'm gonna need the heavy-duty tongs and steel cage!"

When the human comes running back around, his left hand holds the cage and his right hand has much larger and sinister-looking snake tongs that resemble a crocodile mouth. Civorus's first reaction is not to run, but to show this human how futile any set of snake tongs will be against him. He slithers toward the man and allows himself to be caught in the "teeth," but when he wraps his body around the blades and tries to crush them, nothing happens.

The Animal Control officer says, "Titanium, baby," and Civorus knows he done messed up. He is easily placed inside the cage, which Civorus knows he can break out of. He can snap steel pipes in half with enough effort. But when he tries to bite down on one of the small cage bars, he is jolted with electricity.

Animal Control officer: "Escape-proof, taser-charged, contact-activated security cage. Bars are coursing with incapacitating electricity that I'm protected from as long as I wear these rubber-coated Kevlar gloves. A gift from Verm-Tech's R&D Department that cost me some serious pocket change, but is starting to pay off already."

Buy now Civorus recovers from the shock and looks around where he discovers a rechargeable battery similar to electric lawn tools located at the top of the cage—outside the bars. Civorus slunks down in defeat while musing, "Dad gummit...I'm sssssscrewed..."

His head perks up with he hears Saul shout, "You drop my child, hairlesssss ape!" in animal language. To the human ears it's a loud, hacking hiss which is followed by Saul leaping from a nearby fence and biting the human on the left torso. The officer drops the cage and hollers in pain while also feeling venom being sent into his body. Knowing the human will have to avoid moving around and seek medical attention, Saul's bite is over almost as soon as it began, and the snake focuses on trying to get Civorus out.

Before his father gets harmed by the cage, Civorus quickly says, "Thanksssssss daddy! But the cage will electrocute you if you or me touch it. It'sssss alssssssso very heavy judging by how quickly it dropped. But I sssssaw a battery over—" His heart sinks when he notices the battery is facing toward the ground. "Never mind...The only way you reach it issssss if you try turning thissssss cage over. Jusssst leave me."

Saul: "Civorusssss, shut up! I love you, and nothing can keep you from me! Bracsssssse yourssssself, sssson."

Saul does the unthinkable when he latches onto the 60-pound cage with his mouth and turns it over so that the battery is hovering on the left side. The effort (especially the electrocution defense mechanism) had made him unconsciously emit the foul smell cottonmouths do whenever they're threatened. While panting from exhaustion, Saul overhears the Animal Control officer say, "Where is the—? Aha! Cottonmouth anti-venom!"

Saul uses his senses to decipher that the man gets out a syringe and injects the anti-venom into his body. Given the small amount Saul had used, one normal-sized syringe is more than enough to cure the wound on the spot, and then the man will renew his attack. With the clock ticking, Saul taps the battery with his tail to test it, and just as he feared, the battery, as long as it's connected to the cage, is electrified as well.

Saul muses, "But nothing'ssssss greater than the heart of a father!" and wraps his body around the battery—enduring the electrocution—and unhooks it after seven agonizing seconds.

Civorus stares wide-eyed while thinking, "Wow...My daddy'sssss even tougher than me and my sssssiblings combined!" He then says out loud, "You did it, daddy!"

Saul: "N...no. Gotta...break...cage."

Civorus: "I'll do it."

Saul: Fasssster if...together...NO argumentsssss!"

Civorus nods yes then clamps his teeth and wraps his body around the inside of the cage while Saul does the same to the cage's outside. They both pull with all their strength and succeed in tearing a snake-sized hold for Civorus to slither out of. Saul wills himself not to pass out until after seeing his son's whole body free. The father snake collapses, but Civorus catches his head.

He's about to say "I love you, daddy," when the sound of footprints means the Animal Control officer is coming back.

Civorus wraps his lower body around Saul and slithers away, taking his father with him. It slows him down a lot, but he will not abandon his father just to save himself. He only hopes that one of the other snakes will be drawn to the smell Saul had emitted and come to their aid.

His prayer is answered sooner than he thinks.

---

After discovering the location of Group 4, Don plans to locate the house where the wolves are staying so he knows exactly where to come back and take his personal revenge for his sons Cot and Moc. They were more than just his sons, they were the only things he had left of his mate, Casin. She did not have super strength or speed, which cost her her life when she couldn't cross a road fast enough and she got run over by a car. The worst part about that was how the female driver had deliberately altered the vehicle's path so the car would run over Casin; had the car stayed on its original path, Casin would still be alive.

Through the tears of anger and sadness, Don made a promise to Casin's dead body that he would protect their sons and keep them safe. Because of Kale and Percie, he failed at doing that, and he knows if Casin was still alive she would be so disappointed and mad at him for breaking his promise that she would divorce him. That makes Don hate the wolves more than any creature—human or animal—hates snakes.

Don recognizes the general scent of canine then closes his eyes and consciously fine tunes his senses to narrow the scent down to wolves. Once he gets an idea as to the general direction, he stealthily moves into the main street since going there will be the fastest way. Two houses later, he picks up the foul smell that cottonmouths emit when they feel threatened and follows it with urgency.

Five houses later, he sees Civorus slithering toward him carrying Saul on his back, and the two are being chased by an Animal Control officer with some high-grade snake tongs. Don asks, "What happened, 'nephew'?"

Civorus: "I got trapped by that human and daddy sssssaved me, but passssssed out in the processss! Run away, Uncle Don!"

Don: "I'll hold him off—"

Civorus: "Titanium sssssnake tongsssss and electrified cage! Move it!"

Don: "I'll carry your dad."

Civorus uncoils his body from Saul's and lets Don take up his burden. The three snakes then high-tail it out of there, doing their best to put some distance between themselves and the human. Things go from bad to worse when two other Animal Control officers, who are trying to set up traps in the yard Saul, Don, and Civorus are traveling in, notice the snakes and join their colleague in chasing them. They block the path in front of the reptiles, causing the snakes to move to the only open path to their right. That's when they run into the path of a tall wooden fence. It will take time and effort for the snakes to climb that, and they'll be totally helpless while doing so. Not to mention Don can't carry Saul and climb the fence at the same time.

The main Animal Control officer says, "Kill these things! They're too dangerous and smart to be left alive."

His colleagues nod and all three bring out pistols.

Knowing this, Don says, "Civorussssss...Ssssssave yoursssssself. I order you to assssss your uncle."

Civorus: "NO! I'd rather die than leave you and daddy behind!"

Don sighs and says, "Sssssso ssssssstubborn...Jusssst like Cot and Moc. Looksssss like we three will be joining them sssssoon." In his mind he muses, "I'm coming back to you Casssssin..."

All that's left to do after that is wait for the inevitable.

---

After locating the house where the skunks are staying, Vipe decides to go check on whichever young snake's scent he comes across first. Of all the strange things to cause him to take a trip down memory lane, it is the skunks' odor that does so for Vipe.

Vipe always had the best sense of smell out of his three brothers, and excelled at pinpointing the location of friend and foe before the latter were in sight or hearing range. Pit-V is the fastest of the trio and can slither 14 miles per hour, or twice the speed of the average cottonmouth. He surprised many a prey and predator animal who thought their legs were faster than a snake slithering on its belly. Don is the strongest of the three and can lift an adult mountain lion, but mainly uses his strength to crush bones by wrapping himself around his victims.

Their parents always thought there was something wrong with Don's head with how he would constrict like a boa instead of using his venomous bite like a viper, but Vipe and Pit-V saw the brutality and brilliance of it, and didn't hesitate to use it for hunting. Together, the three brother snakes were akin to the fabled Three Muskateers (but they preferred Terrifying Trio), each using their innate abilities to compliment the other and make them into a fighting team to be reckoned with. Vipe would detect the scents of threats from afar, Pit-V would chase them into a trap, and Don would immobilize them by crushing a limb or suffocating the lungs, whereby all three would finish the targets off with their venom.

But Vipe's superior sense of smell also means he has a superior sense of taste, making any meal all the more delicious whenever consumed—and that does mean any meal, even against animals whose smell would make the hungriest of predators lose their appetite. For Vipe's physical strength also seems to carry over to his taste buds and stomach. He can eat just about anything in any condition—fresh and new, or rotten and old—and it all tastes good. Vipe thoroughly enjoys grossing out those around him with both his eating habits and what he eats. A roadkill skunk that's been infested with maggots? Vipe guzzles it down and suffers no bad effects on his health. A bloated carcass of a groundhog that smells so bad even flies don't go near it? He takes a bite, chews, opens his mouth to show the food, then swallows it and asks for seconds. His favorite food is skunk, hence why he found where the skunks were staying first.

Such a diet repulsed any female snakes away from Vipe, which suits him just fine because he has no intentions of finding a mate and starting a family. The same goes for Vipe who has a need for speed and if any lady snakes attracted to him can't keep up, they're too slow for him.

But the main and private reason Vipe and Pit-V refused to marry is because, in their personal opinions, Don's marriage made him weak; or perhaps diminished his effectiveness as a hunter is more appropriate. Having a mate and later sons to take care of made him "domesticated" in that raising his family took priority over being a predator. The trio of fearsome snakes was down to two, and things just weren't as fun and enjoyable without Don. Every time Vipe and Pit-V wanted to go out to make a good name for snakes or later hunt for fun, Don would say he has to be with his mate and sons. Casin, Cot, and Moc weren't unlikeable and Vipe and Pit-V enjoyed being biological uncles, but they enjoyed being the Terrifying Trio far more.

But something Vipe and Pit-V foresee—but will never say out loud—is that with Don's mate and two sons dead, he now has nothing to lose or to hold him back. If anything, his hatred and desire for revenge will make him stronger than he ever was. When it's time for the predators to kill the hedgies, the Terrifying Trio will officially return, stronger and crueler than ever before.

With that last thought making him feel eager inside, Vipe refocuses on what's around him and locates Aggie's exact direction, though not by her scent, but by the scents of her victims. Vipe has induced enough fear and pain in humans and dogs that he can practically smell such scents by mere thought.

What he doesn't expect is Aggie giving off the scent of stress and fear as well. But after smelling the scent of humans near her, he briefly wishes he had Pit-V's speed, and goes as fast as he can to reach her before it's too late.

---

After getting some medical treatment from her brother, Aggie can finally slither faster without leaving a trail of blood in her wake. She travels down one block, and the sound and smell of two approaching vehicles coming from behind her fills her senses. Already in the front yard of a house, she finds a nearby flowerbed and hides in it to let them pass. They sadly don't, and one humans gets out of a verminator van, while two get out of an Animal Control truck.

Pierre: "This is another one of those houses I call the 'Main Street' that invading animals use to travel deep into the suburbs. Set up a few good traps in the gap between this house and the one next to it, the backyard, and this flowerbed, and no animal will get by without getting caught."

Reed: "Just gotta make sure our traps aren't in plain sight."

Bethany: "Let's place our first one by the flowerbed, it's closest to us."

Vipe mentally berates, "Confound you lazy humanssssss!" She waits until the Animal Control duo turns around to get traps out of their truck bed, and makes her move. But the snake is immediately seen by Pierre who didn't turn.

Pierre: "Woah! We gotta scaly boy directly ahead." *Sniff* Make that female Agkistrodon piscivorus, or cottonmouth, to be exact."

Bethany: "If it's moving away then it's none of our concern."

Reed: "If we try to catch every single animal, we'll be here all day. And we've got better things to do with our time."

Pierre smirks while his eyes never leave the snake as he says, "Then do your thing." While opening the backseat door of his van and pulling out a net gun he says, "As for me..." he cocks the gun, "I never did like snakes very much."

Aggie takes great offense to Pierre's specism, but keeps making her way through the space between the two houses. With her injury, she can't risk being in another fight, so flight is her best option. She zigs and zags to avoid any potential shot from the net gun, but Pierre is no rookie, and correctly predicts where Aggie will turn, leads his target in his gun sight, then squeezes the trigger.

Aggie gasps when her body is enveloped in a net. She is about to slither through one of the gaps when the entire net suddenly tightens around her to the point where it looks like she is wearing skin-tight holed clothes. Worst of all, part of the net wraps so tightly around her mouth that she can't open it bite free.

Pierre gloats with, "How do like Verm-Tech's new constriction net? Made specifically for trapping small, skinny animals, the net's attached to his here rope which, with the push of a button, spins it to wind around my target, rendering them immobile.

"But wanna know my favorite feature? In the words of my son's favorite fighting game character: 'Get over here!' "

Pierre squeezes a second trigger and the net begins to retract toward him with surprising speed. Aggie is six feet from Pierre when Vipe arrives by leaping up high and severing the rope pulling her toward Pierre's gun with a bite.

Pierre: "Wha?! Hey! You broke my rope! Do you have any idea how hard it is to replace a cut rope in this gun?!"

Vipe retorts with, "Sssspare me, Ssssssnake hater!" in animal language while hooking his tail tip around one of the net's small gaps and pulling Aggie away.

Pierre reaches into his pocket and pulls out two palm-sized metal objects. He presses a button on each and throws them. Aggie's head is facing toward Vipe's back, so she is perplexed when what started out as two squares opens up into clamps.

Pierre: "These are heat-seekers! I don't even have to aim!"

Aggie: "Look out Vipe!"

Vipe: "Fear not, child. Like he sssaid, heat-sssseekersssss."

Aggie grins as the clamps fall to the ground several feet behind the two snakes.

Pierre: "Crap! I forgot that snakes are cold-blooded!" (Reaches into a side holster to pull out and activates a shock rod) "Then I'll handle this myself!"

He starts giving chase, despite the two Animal Control officers telling him to just let it go.

Because Vipe has to drag Aggie, he knows he'll never outrun the human. "Darn kidsssss!" he mentally rants at her.

He then sees something that will solve his current problem: a storm drain. He adjusts his path and slithers toward it, but he won't get there before Pierre reaches him first.

"Dad gum kidssss!" his mind screams in anger.

---

Despite the segway having off-road capability, the change of the terrain from the grass, dirt, and concrete forces Pavlov to slow down. Even more time-consuming is when a human pedestrian, decorative bushes, lawn furniture, children's stray yard toys, or flowerbeds get in his path and he has to find a way around those. Surprisingly, the snake Pavlov is chasing pauses and turns to look at him whenever such obstacles get in his way, and the reptile doesn't resume until Pavlov is about to clear those.

Pavlov thinking: "Is it giving me a fair chance like this is some sort of sport?"

Pavlov would normally never think an animal is capable of such higher-level reasoning. But after what happened in the town shopping district, he now thinks humans and animals are more alike than ever. He will never look at any wild animal the same way again, and think twice before going up against one. In particular, this snake has had every chance to go into a place where Pavlov cannot follow on his segway—like a fenced yard, a tree, or storm drain—yet it keeps slithering into places that the officer can traverse by segway.

But as Silas predicted, all the chasing and re-routing is taking a toll on the segway's battery, as the noise the motor makes starts to slightly diminish. Pavlov glances down at the console and says, "Oh no, battery's getting low. C'mon old girl, stay with me!"

His plea doesn't do anything, and the segway slows to a crawl. With the officer so focused on trying to prolong the dying vehicle's power, Silas sneaks toward the man unnoticed—or so the reptile thinks. For it is Pavlov's trap that Silas has fallen for.

From a hatch on the console, Pavlov connects a wire to a plug near the segway's engine which roars forward with renewed life!

Silas's slit pupils narrow to hair-thin in fear as he muses, "A backup battery?! Oh kriffing Heck!"

Note: Like "stang," "kriffing" is a Star Wars slang/curse word that means "fricking/freaking."

Silas turns around and slithers as fast as he can, but the backup battery seems more powerful than the regular one because the segway is faster than ever. It closes the gap between reptile and machine by a one foot in three seconds! With such a beast so close (and getting closer), Silas panics and forgets to go through the yards and under obstacles and instead just keeps going straight on the concrete. Silas is slithering so fast on the rough sideway that he feels like his ventral scales are starting to get scraped, but his adrenaline makes him feel no pain.

But ten second later, his body cannot ignore the windedness all this fast moving has done to his body. He starts to tire, pant, and slow down. His lungs burn for more oxygen that his breathing cannot provide enough of. His mind wills his body to keep moving fast, but his spent muscles don't obey. Then, every runner's worst nightmare engulfs his left abdomen: a side stich. The sharp, stabbing pain that travels from his rib cage is too much to bear.

Resigning himself to death from being crushed just like Cot and Moc, Silas finally stops moving. Pavlov doesn't let up on the "gas," but after a sudden blur of motion from his left and his left wheel starts deflating. This causes the segway to swerve left, enabling the exhausted Silas to survive when the gap between the ground and the segway foot platform goes over his body—rather than the segway's tire. Pavlov loses his balance and falls off the segway, landing hard and hurting his injured leg.

Seeing that the pain will keep the human occupied, Pit-V approaches Silas's side and says, "That wassss too closssse."

He pauses to give Silas time to say a thank you. When none happens, Pit-V adds another detail for Silas to get the message. "It'sssss good for you that I'm the fasssssstessst cottonmouth ever."

Another pause, and no words of thanks. "You know, it'ssssss conssssssidered nicccccce to thank sssssssomeone for sssssaving your life."

Still no response.

When Pit-V slithers in front of Silas, intending to address the ungrateful teen face to face, he discovers why Silas hasn't said anything. He has passed out from exhaustion. Pit-V wraps his lower body around Silas and drags him along.

The human is still groaning from pain, so Pit-V keeps his eyes on what's in front of him as he slithers away. But once again, the noise was part of Pavlov's trap, for the groaning drowned out the sound of his clicking gun hammer as Pavlov aims for the reptile. And Pit-V's speed is not faster than a bullet.

---

There was a time when Kissie would have felt the tiniest hint of remorse for the reptiles in the hedgie's family that she has located. This feeling stems from how there are only four families of reptiles in the world, verses 16 families of mammals. Such a small number of the former makes Kissie feel like all reptiles are closer than mammals. In short, her killing (or causing the ipso facto deaths of) the turtles and monitor lizards will be like killing her own cousins.

But such remorse was what Kissie would feel before her "reward" for saving the young deer from the icy cold river so long ago. All she feels now is hatred, especially for the monitor lizards. They are traitors who will get their just fate. After all, monitor lizards are carnivores, and should be eating mammals like the ones the predators are after, not living together with them. Not to mention other turtles and monitor lizards were among the animals who shunned Kissie and her species, so they can all rot in Heck for all she cares.

She recalls how the Sith from the Star Wars franchise get their power through their anger and hatred. "The darkesssssst, mosssssst evil Ssssssith Lordsssss wish they could be me," she muses in smug glee.

After all, she was named Kissie because she gave her self-stylized "kiss of death" to her victims from the moment she was birthed. Her first victims were none other than her six older siblings. Because her mother was busy recovering from the pain of childbirth, and her father was comforting his mate through that process, her parents didn't notice what she was doing until Kissie had killed her second sibling. At first, they wanted to stop her, but after observing her ferocity and strength, they saw it not as siblicide but as purifying the gene pool. Besides, it's a cruel world where only the strongest will survive and thrive, and within a minute of taking her first breath, Kissie had proven she was bound for greatness. Why would her parents want to stop such a gifted child from reaching her full potential?

Her parents did their best to raise their lone survivor daughter to be as cruel as they were, and for a time it seemed to work. But as Kissie grew and was ostracized for being a snake, she longed to bring a better name for her species, much to her parents' dismay. The unstoppable, hardcore child who slew her own brothers and sisters became soft. She was no longer a deadly weapon, but a hopeful, lost soul wanting to be loved by all. Out of desperation, Kissie's parents tried convincing her that she would never reach her goal; that it was a lost cause; a fool's errand. But Kisse's optimism was unwavering. She kept taking the verbal and physical abuse without losing hope that she, and later her family, would change the way animals viewed snakes.

Had she known where that crusade would take her, she would have been spared so much pain. Fortunately, her parents were so evil that their lessons were very memorable, even when Kissie tried to ignore their advice. That way, when she vowed to be as snaky as possible, she had more than enough ideas on how to do it.

Kissie showed her mate and kids the ropes, and schooled them well, which now makes her recall how she met Saul while she was hunting a rattlesnake in a raging creek after a rainstorm ended. She had already bitten the reptile with venom and as expected, it panicked which made it swim faster, and caused her venom to spread quicker in its body, especially because it was swimming against the current. When the venom did its job, Kissie was waiting idly by when Saul appeared from below the water and started eating her prey. She immediately claimed the kill as hers, but he counter-argued with the classic "you snooze, you lose." The two engaged in combat and became equally surprised that they were evenly matched in strength and resilience. Not only that, but they both desired to bring a good name to snakes despite their parents wanting them to maintain their species' infamy. The only differences were that Saul's parents weren't evil, and he didn't eat his siblings, but grew up loving them. However, the similarities between the two far outweighed the differences, and they became friends, then lovers, mates, and finally parents.

She has been so enamored by her reflective thoughts that she only now hears the sound of a riding lawnmower starting up. Georgy's feuding owners have gone to visit some relatives for the rest of the day, and thanks to the hedgies' lockpick, he has unlocked the backdoor and is ready to let off some steam. Kissie figures because the iguana has no knowledge of her, she can just lay low and sneak away. And even if he sees her, he'll just think she's a normal snake passing by.

But that's what she thinks. Because the hedgies have explained to Georgy all that they know about the predators after them, so he recognizes her as a threat immediately. In fact, thanks to Georgy's own great sense of smell, he also identifies Kissie's gender and age before he even opened the back door. Unwillingly to let such a dangerous predator attack his new friends who have done so much for him in the little time he has known them (which is still more than anyone has ever done for him in his whole life), Georgy has formulated a plan.

At first, he was afraid the snake would be onto him instantly, but after seeing her stare straight at nothing and smile—a common sign that someone is lost in deep thought—he was able to go into the toolshed at the end of the yard without her being the wiser. Inside there is an actual riding lawnmower, with the same controls as his play one. He raised the shed's garage door, started up the machine, and uses a nearby cinderblock to floor the gas pedal. Normally a slower speed is recommended for a precise cut, but he isn't trying to cut up grass.

The real lawnmower is much faster than the electric play one, but Georgy gets the hang of it after a few seconds. He is only a few feet away from Kissie when she snaps out of her thoughts and flees for her life. But unlike Pit-V, she can only travel a maximum of seven miles per hour, and the lawnmower can go 10 mph. It's also hard for her to keep her head clear when the loud sound, hard vibrations, and pungent gas fumes start to overwhelm her senses. She zigs and zags, but that only lets the lawnmower gain more ground. When she can feel the blades' suction trying to get a figurative hold on her tail, a desperate Kissie jump-strikes to "leap" away. This puts her a few feet ahead of the mower, but it starts wearing her out faster, which is something the bladed machine behind her will not do.

It will catch up to her any moment now.

---

With all eight snakes in dire straits, it seems their fates are sealed. But fate can be controlled by the free will of others, and it's the avian predators who postpone their reptile compatriots' executions.

Before the three Animal Control officers and Pavlov can shoot their snake targets, before Pierre can use his shock rod on Pit-V and Aggie, and before Georgy's lawn mower can slice and dice Kissie, the hawks and ravens get the snakes out of danger by swooping down, grabbing them in their talons, and flying off—giving the humans the impression that it's just Nature doing its thing.

Kissie: "I-I'm alive!"

Rax is carrying her and says, "Fer a mo-meyent, eye thought yew was gonna just sta-yand thar and let tha-yat lawnmower git cha. Why-aye'd yew freeze up like tha-yat?"

Kissie: "Got losssst in my thoughtssssss. I wasssss carelessssss."

Rax: "Sheee-yewwwt yeah. And just fer future reference, them ridin' mowers take a long while to turrrrrn. Back ho-owm whare ah'm from, humans use them ridin' mowers like cars. They even glued ho-owmmade cupholders on 'em like true rey-ednecks."

Kissie thinking: "Look who'sssss talking." (Out loud) "Thankssss for ssssssaving my life. But I sssssupossse I now owe you one?"

Rax: "Nope. We both allies, and allies look ah-yowt fer each other."

Kissie grins and says, "I guesssss Ssssssouthern hosssssspitality issssss a real thing after all..."

Rax grins back and says, "Dee-peyends if yew mind yer manners, which fer a snake yew do pretty we-ell."

Teo: "Speak for yourself, hick. Vipe here owes me a huge favor for saving him, and so will Aggie when she wakes up."

Jamai: "Same goes for Saul..."

Bu: "And Civorus..."

Sis: "And Don."

Edgar shakes his head side to side in dismay while saying, "Teo, Jamai, Bu, and Sis..." He stops his head shaking and continues, "You four should really keep ya big mouths shut. It'll get ya inta trouble...or worse get ya killed. Like Cen."

The hawks instantly sober up and prove that they have learned at least something from their daughter's/sister's death by not attacking Edgar in revenge for what he just said.

Bu: "Yes...Her gloating is what got her killed."

Sis: "Not to mention her ego, which we all have."

Teo: "But we won't repeat her mistake when we face those murdering prey animals again."

Jamai: "Yeah, we'll just smack-talk around you, our allies, like you said."

Co: "Keep tha-yat up, and yew won't ha-yave no allies either."

Lenore: "But let's talk turkey. We learned a lotta valuable things from this excursion: where those prey animals're stayin' in, thet the humans're settin' up traps, and one of tha homes has an iguana with a knack for drivin' lawnmowers."

Vipe: "I'm not sure if we should let our prey try to essssscape their houssssessss after they recover—and rissssk getting trapped themssselvessss—or if we should try to attack them...?"

Teo: "We birds can avoid all the traps while attacking our prey from the roofs." (Gloating tone) "It pays to have feathers and wings."

Vus: "Gewd aye-dea, but le-yet's talk tew the rest of our allies. See what they thank."

All of the birds and the conscious snakes nod yes, and they continued their journey back to the woods in silence.

---

Of all the humans who were both surprised and a bit disappointed that hawks and ravens stole their snake targets, only Pierre keeps watching the birds carrying away the snakes. Emphasis on carrying—not eating.

Pierre's Verm-Tech trained mind also starts proposing crazy theories. "And the fact that those birds showed up just as I was about to verminate them...That can't be coincidence."

"Are they...? In cahoots...?"

But sometimes things are so crazy they are the truth. He decides to have another talk with the two Animal Control officers.

Pierre calls out to them while walking back to their truck, "Hey, Reed and Bethany?"

"Yes?" they ask in unison.

Pierre looks at a house's roof and asks, "Do you have any traps for birds?"

Reed: "For pigeon- to chicken-sized ones."

Bethany: "Why do you ask?"

Knowing the truth will make them deny his request, Pierre comes up with a more believable reason when he explains, "Last week, my son saw hawks attack ducks outside our house. And now we just saw those hawks and ravens capture snakes. It's fair to say those birds of prey have associated these suburbs with food sources, right?"

Bethany: "Makes sense to me."

Reed: "Which means pets will be in danger of animal attacks from above as well...Sheesh, this really is turning into Day of the Animals."

Pierre: "But the characters in that flick were a bunch of morons; we are highly trained and well-experienced animal trappers. And Verm-Tech has recently created a state-of-the-art bird deterrent/capture trap. Let me pull up a picture and the specs on my phone."

The two officers walk over to join the verminator, eager to see and hear what this new trap can do. They immediately notice it doesn't resemble any traditional trap, but rather a large drone with six propellers.

Pierre: "This is the ultimate bird deterrent or UBD 3000. It can easily mount to the ground or any kind of roof, is solar powered, can function in all but the most severe weather conditions, and each arm comes equipped with a nonlethal method to scare away or capture birds. One arm can inflate bright-colored balloons, another is a speaker that plays out loud sounds or predator calls, a third shoots out smells like garlic and vinegar, the fourth flashes strobe lights, the fifth juts out a flag and waves it around quickly, and the sixth shoots out a net. Just enter the specific bird species, or select from bird family names, and the central antennae will detect the birds' biometrics from a range of 100 yards and start doing the countermeasures."

Reed: "Wow...Verm-Tech R&D is on a whole different level. But why can't you give any of your inventions to Animal Control?"

Pierre: "We're private contractors, remember? You's have to pay for it yourself, and it doesn't come cheap. And with all the flak Verm-Tech has received over the years, it would be a PR nightmare for Animal Control if they officially started using Verm-Tech traps." (Thinking) "And while both those reasons are true, another reason is because the money to finance these breakthroughs comes from Verm-Tech's deals with animal testing labs, the fur trade, and illegal animal fighting rings."

Reed: "Still, we gotta make some sort of deal to get your inventions mass-produced and available for the general public."

Bethany: "Boys and toys...But we would really appreciate the help, Pierre. Just send the picture and specs to my phone and I'll have someone show it to my boss and we'll see what he says. He'll most likely say yes, but he has to be the one who greenlights the idea."

Pierre: "Fair enough. You'll also get my work cell phone number when I send the info. Use it to call me directly at any time."

Bethany: "You'll be the first one to know," (sarcastic tone) "you crazy, animal-hating, psycho."

Pierre chuckles and replies in sarcasm, "Oooouch! You hurt my feel-lings."

Little does either Animal Control officer know that Pierre takes her sarcastic insults as compliments.

And as expected, Chief Hank ok's the use of the UBD 3000 ten minutes later, which will secretly give Pierre and Dilbert an extra set of ears and eyes to monitor for any animals that are prowling inside or on top of houses as well, using the UBD's speakers and motion detectors.

---

Back in the woods with the predators, the snakes, hawks, and ravens have just finished explaining what has happened today.

Vixy: "So that is the gist of it?"

Snakes in unison: "Yessssss."

Hawks in unison: "Yep."

Southern ravens in unison: "Pretty muh-uch."

Northern ravens in unison: "Thet's right."

Ted: "So with more traps and more wary humans, a land-based attack is out of the question."

Vul: "Ergo, concordantly, vis a vis—oh, right your primitive brains need baby talk. So that leaves aerial and—something you dimwits failed to think about despite being there—subterranean plumbing as our best avenues for attack."

Lepo (sarcastic): "So-rry that we didn't have the luxury of growing up near the language arts center at Harvard."

Vul gives Lepo the stink-eye and then turns his head to the side and says, "Humph, heathens," with his eyes closed. About a second goes by when Vul opens his eyes and looks at Lepo to say, "And don't even think about planning some sort of sweet revenge on me for my harsh, yet true, remarks. That goes for all of you" he adds while looking at the other predators. " 'How did you know?' you ask. Because I'm 'smart as a fox.' A most simple yet clever plagiarism of Sherlock Holmes's 'Elementary, my dear Watson.' "

Don: "And you want ussssss to ssssssneark through the plumbing, but I will have to wait. We need a day of recovery. We're worn out."

Edith: "That's actually a good idea. Those prey animals may have detected you, and now they'll be on-edge. They'll stay up late waiting for an attack and get tired, which will make them react slowly when the real attack begins."

Rax: "And uh-us birds should do it ay-yat the same time as the snakes. Give them prey animals two-fronts to fi-ight ay-yat once."

The other animals nod and smile in appreciation of Rax's suggestion. And while he may pay for it in the future, the chance to get back at Teo's insults is too good to miss right now. "Not ba-yad fer a 'hick,' eh, yew brainless hot-head?" he says while eying Teo.

Teo grimaces while growling, with his family joining him when Allan adds, "You hed thet one comin' a long time."

Ted: "That's enough fun for you. Now rest and recover, for the day after tomorrow: we attack and conquer."

The predators then depart for their dwellings, not knowing that their actions in the near future will be the next major component into something that will go far beyond mere revenge.

---

Hope you enjoyed the first chapter written from the predators' perspective. My next update should come sooner because I won't have any new cruises or weddings to attend, lol.