Tris's POV:
I ring the doorbell with shaky hands, wiping my tears away and trying to even out my breaths. But it's obvious that I've been crying. After a few seconds, Mom opens the door. She smiles when she sees me, but it soon turns into a frown.
"Beatrice? What's wrong, sweetheart?" She takes me in her arms, pulling me inside the house and shutting the door.
But I can't tell her what happened to me. I could barely speak the words to Tobias, and it took everything in me not to fall apart while saying it. I can't say those words again.
"I just had a fight with Tobias." I tell her instead.
"Oh, dear. Are you okay?" She asks.
"I will be." I lie. "Can I stay here for a while?"
"Of course, you know you are always welcome here." Mom nods.
"Thanks, Mom." I breathe.
"Did you eat anything? You look very exhausted, sweetie." She brushes her hand over my hair.
"No, I'm not hungry." I shake my head.
"But I still insist that you eat something, just a little bit." She says.
"I just want to rest for some time, Mom." I sigh, my eyes burning.
"Of course, but first let's eat. Come on, I just made soup for your father. He'll be home soon." She leads me towards the kitchen.
Mom makes me sit at the table, bringing me a bowlful of soup. I just stare at it, and she grabs the spoon to feed it to me herself. I eat slowly, and it feels good on my dry throat. I don't know what I'd do without her, and I feel very grateful for my mother in this moment. I think about waiting up for Dad, but she insists that I rest. I'll see him tomorrow morning anyway.
Walking up the stairs, I let out a shaky breath and enter my old bedroom. How did I get back here to where it all started? My life was already so strange these past few months, but today, in just a matter of a few hours, everything has been turned upside down again. And as I stare around my room, I feel numb, no more tears falling from my eyes.
I go into the bathroom and strip my clothes, walking into the shower cabin. The water is hot, but it feels good anyway. As I let the water run down on me, I close my eyes, and my mind shows me an old memory. I see myself wrapped up in Tobias's arms, standing under a streaming shower, our bodies wet and pressed together, laughing as he whispers something in my ear.
It leaves me with a hollow feeling, and I don't know what to do with it. We both looked so carefree, so happy, like we were the only two people in the world. I long for that moment, wishing life was that simple again. And the first thing I want to do is tell him about it. He would light up whenever I remembered something. And I would ask him about all the details, looking at his smiling face as he talked about it.
But I don't, it hurts too much. And as much as I try not to think about him, it's all I seem to be able to do. Because he's still the first person I want to share everything with. He's still the first person whose arms I want around me. He's still the only person I've ever been this close to. I want to talk to him and let him hug me as we kiss. I want all of it because he's still Tobias. And I still love him. I love him.
Was he telling the truth about our baby? I want to believe him so bad, I want to trust him, but it's not so easy. After the shower, I dress into my pyjamas and get into bed, but everything that happened keeps replaying through my head. And the emptiness I feel only gets worse as the night drags on. I somehow cry myself to sleep, but even then I dream of all that I have lost, all that which could have been mine.
The morning seems to have come fast once I fell asleep. And I wake with the sunlight coming in through the window. As I sit up in bed, I feel his absence beside me. I have gotten so used to waking up with him, sharing morning kisses before starting our day and making us breakfast. But I'm alone again.
I pick up my phone from the nightstand and message Tori. I have no energy in me today to go to work. I don't think I can even perform basic tasks. She texts back telling me to rest and get better soon. I've bailed out of work so often these days that I'm surprised she hasn't fired me yet. I'm really grateful for her.
But now I have to face the day. I have to live with my thoughts and feelings and try to make it through. Maybe I should have went to the bakery anyway, at least the work would have distracted me. But I know myself, and I couldn't afford having a breakdown in front of everyone. I have to process this on my own.
Finally standing up on my feet, I get ready for the day and put on a simple pair of jeans with a black sweater. Staring at myself in the mirror, my eyes land on the necklace he gave me. I always forget that I have it on, it's become like a part of my body. I think about taking it off, but I can't bring myself to. I need to feel it on my skin.
Letting out a loud sigh, I brush out my hair and leave it open behind my back. Then I brace myself to act normal as I walk out of my room. I go downstairs and look for my parents. Mom is sitting at the dining table, sipping a cup of coffee. She smiles when she sees me.
"Hi, sweetie. How are you feeling?" She asks.
"I'm fine." I lie, sitting down beside her.
"I don't think so, Beatrice." She looks at me carefully. "What happened between you and Tobias?"
"Mom, I don't want to talk about that right now." I tell her.
"If you won't talk to him, won't talk to me, how will you resolve this? Whatever this is that's going on between you two?"
"I don't know." I whisper. I don't know if this is even resolvable.
Mom goes to say something else, but just then Dad walks in, making her stop herself.
"Beatrice! How are you, sweetheart?" He comes over and bends down to give me a hug. He's already ready in his work clothes.
"I'm fine, Dad." I muster up a smile at him. God, how long will I have to lie to everyone?
"Listen, I would have loved to stay and chat with you but I have to urgently leave for work. It's a big case that needs to be taken care of." He says, hugging Mom and then leaving immediately.
There's an awkward silence in the room afterwards, a kind of uncertainty in the air. I feel my anxiety rise up again, and I have trouble breathing. Mom notices and takes my hand, squeezing it gently.
"Beatrice, you know you can share anything with me. Something is clearly bothering you, it's affecting your health, you look so pale. Please tell me what's wrong, dear." She insists.
Do I tell her about everything that happened? How will she react to the truth? I did wonder if her and Dad knew about it, but the doctor said that it was really early, maybe they didn't know about the news? Because if Mom knew, she would never keep a secret like this from me. She couldn't.
I take a deep breath and decide to speak up. "Mom, I was at the hospital yesterday, and I ran into Robert. He was asking me all sorts of invasive questions. And then he spoke about something that happened to me a while ago. But he wouldn't tell me anything clearly. When I kept asking him to explain himself, he took me to a doctor's office. The doctor recognised me immediately, like she knew me from long before. But I couldn't identify her. Then she explained that she was my OB/GYN. She said that she had been my primary care doctor for when Tobias and I...when we were..." I stop, tears welling up in my eyes.
"Oh, Beatrice. What did she say, dear?" Mom brushes her hand over my hair, trying to comfort me.
"She said she looked over my health when we were trying for a baby." I let out a sob. "And that she was my doctor when I got pregnant. But then..., then I, I lost the baby."
My vision is blurry, but I feel Mom get up and hug me close. She lets me cry it all out, holds me as I sob, as I mourn the loss of my unborn baby. The pain is unbearable. The hurt is insurmountable. I don't think anything can heal it, heal me.
"Oh, Beatrice. All this happened and you said nothing to me. Why didn't you?" Mom asks, trying to wipe away my tears.
"I couldn't, Mom. I can barely stand to think about it, let alone speak about it." I cry.
"But, sweetie, you never told us anything about it before too. You never told us you were pregnant, and that you..." She stops herself from finishing that sentence.
"The doctor had said it was all in early stages, maybe that's why I didn't tell you." I sniffle.
"But you still tell me everything, Beatrice. We talk everyday, about everything. Something doesn't sit right." She shakes her head. "What did Tobias tell you? Did he agree with what the doctor said?"
"No." I whisper. "He said she was lying, that we were never going to have a baby."
"What if he's telling the truth? Hiding it is another thing but he would never outright lie to you, Beatrice. When the truth came out about your memories, he admitted what he did and why he did it. Then he apologised." Mom tries to reason.
"But Mom, why would a doctor lie to her patient? What does she achieve from that?" I want to believe Tobias so bad.
"You said that Robert lead you to that doctor, right?" She then asks, making all the air knock out of me.
"Yes." I whisper and pause for a long moment, the wheels turning in my head as I come to my senses. "God, how could I be so stupid?" I shake my head, the realisation hitting me like a wall of bricks.
"You were in shock, dear. And a news like that isn't easy to hear. Let's go back to the hospital. We'll talk to that doctor." She fixes my hair and wipes my face. "It's going to be okay, sweetheart. I'm with you always."
"Thanks, Mom." I take her hand. "Thanks for everything."
I stand up slowly from the table, wanting to kick myself for the way I treated Tobias. I should have trusted him. I should have put all my irrational thoughts aside to take a step back and look around me. But I didn't. I fell in the trap laid by the devil and became an utter fool. How could they play with my feelings that way? But I'll deal with Marcus and Robert later. First I need to find Tobias.
"Mom, before we go to the hospital, I need to talk to Tobias." I tell her.
"Okay, Beatrice. Do you want me to come along?" She asks.
"No, I'll be fine." I start to walk out the door.
"Okay. But call me if you need anything, sweetheart." She says from behind me.
"I will. Thanks again, Mom. I'll talk to you later." I say and rush out the door, leaving my parents' house to go find my husband. I need to make things right immediately.
A/N: Hey guys! How's everyone's Sunday going? Please let me know what you thought of this chapter!