Disclaimer: Zootopia and all related characters are owned by Disney. All other characters, product names, trademarks, and copyrights, belong to their respective owners.

…..

Ned drummed his paws on the steering wheel of the unmarked ZNN broadcast van he was driving. It hadn't been too bad of an assignment, being paired up with Longtooth, she had a good rep, and the duty had been easy so far. More like being a glorified tour guide than working as a cameramammal.

Officially, she'd wanted to see the high points of Muckdinia. 'Sorry, the Duchy of Mordinia,' Ned chuckled to himself. Six months. Six damn months living in a country with a stick rammed up its butt, 'Gods, I hate everything to do with this place.' Shrugging, 'Well, not everything, the citizenry were good people, even some of the young nobles weren't too bad, but the top dogs and their wannabes, damn!'

Which, now that he thought about it, was probably why Longtooth was here. The first tourist site he took her to, she told him to keep driving until she finally stopped him outside one of the bowery districts and then spent a couple of hours talking to what were politely called commoners, but more often called serfs.

And a few days ago, 'Yeah,' Ned chuckled to himself, 'She wanted up close and personal with Mordinia's finest. She sure as hell got it too.'

"The map says we're twenty minutes out. Are you sure about this hot tip of yours? I mean a secret meeting between the mob and a Royal isn't exactly a thing here. The aristocracy isn't big on dirtying their paws with plebian lowlifes like that."

"Dickless McDickwipe," mumbled Cassidy Longtooth, respected internet journalist and now an international investigative reporter. "There's a reason Ackerbunn won't talk to you, asshat."

"You know you curse like a skunk," chuckled the tapir.

Slipping her phone back into her jeans, Cassy grunted, "Yeah, you would too if you'd had to talk to that creep Hornburg. He's not a journalist, he's a click-bait troll. He moves from story to story like a plague of locusts, leaving only destruction in his wake.

"Your phone interview with the mayor from that rabbit town?"

"Yeah, Bunnyburrow. He's pissed that she'll only talk to me."

"I read your article last month. It sounds like Bunnyburrow's got a lot of problems."

"I know, but Ackerbunn's trying."

"She's a politician."

"Yeah, but she's one of the good ones. A local who's trying to make her town a better place."

"How do you know she isn't playing you for good PR?"

"She called me this time. Laid it all out, the good, the bad, and even the ugly about what happened. Gave me the Burrow Meister's number so I could call him direct. She said whatever he says, she agrees with one hundred percent."

"The fox from that video? Whatever he says?"

"Yup, carte blanche. No request for a pre-pub review or anything."

"A fox calling it like it is in a town of rabbits, how in the hell does that happen?"

'Yeah,' thought Cassy, 'I can't wait to get my paws on Wilde and find out.'

-/-/-

"You're kidding? You leaked this to Longtooth? Have you read any of her stuff? If this op goes bad, she'll be all over us like a cheap suit."

"Well, then, how about we don't let anything go bad," replied the elk.

Shaking her head, the wolverine gently asked, "Hari?"

Leaning back from adjusting one of the six monitors on his desk, Elkdon huffed, "I know Mairi, I tried, but the media here is under the thumb of the aristocracy. If I tipped off one of the locals, they'd go straight to the nearest wannabe social climber and blow our whole operation wide open. And I can't trust the local ZNN talking heads either, they're all just mouthpieces for the monarchy too.

"I needed something big, and I needed something fast. A meet ending in a breach gone bad was the best thing I could think of on short notice. Us posting the footage anonymously was always going to be sketchy. And Longtooth being over here working on a joint piece for ZNN and her online paper was just plain dumb luck. Good dumb luck I couldn't ignore."

"Not sure I'd call it good, at least not yet," groused Mairi. "I sure hope you know what the hell you're doing."

"Me too," sighed Hari, "me too." And then, nodding toward the encrypted radio in Mairi's paw, asked, "How's Spotts doing?"

Mairi spoke into the radio's mouthpiece, "Luv, how we looking? The camera crew will be here in just a few."

"Blimey, lassie, keep the heid. I be up to my ears in dodgy wiring and caps. Dinni be fooled, one wire squint and nae pairtie."

Hari shook his head, "Translation, please."

"He said to stop bugging him, he's almost done."

Hari waved his hoof, "Fine, but tell him we're on the clock."

"Aaricht luv, hurry burry."

Hari raised a brow.

"He'll be ready."

"I'll never understand how you and Monty make it work."

"Helps that leopards are real flexible, cuts down on any unnecessary conversation when we're alone."

"TMI, Mairi. TMI," chuckled the elk, and then nodding toward the radio again, "Let everyone know it's almost time."

-/-/-

"What's wrong, are we lost?" asked Cassy as the van pulled up close to the curb and stopped at an empty intersection.

Looking around, the groundhog grunted, "Where the hell are we?"

Waving his phone around, trying to get the map to work again, Ned replied, "Welcome to the worst of both worlds. A few blocks to the left, an old light rail station. Six blocks that way are neighborhoods being 'revitalized' by a bunch of wannabe royals with their muzzles stuck so far up the aristocracy's asses, X-ray vision wouldn't help them see the light. And right here, a commercial district blighted on purpose to run any leftover commoners out."

Finally getting his map app working again, Ned pointed across the street and a few buildings to the right, "Your meet is supposed to be happening in that building there."

"Okay, it's the only building with a light on, so hopefully, that means my tip is good."

"Uh-oh," warned Ned pointing at a uniformed mastiff crossing over on the opposite side of the street from them headed toward their destination.

"Wha– Oh gods, please no. What is that uppity bitch doing here?"

Cassy groaned, after spending most of Wednesday on a ride-along with that horror show of a bigoted creature she'd wanted to ram a nightstick up her big furry ass. And then to hear her talk about her time visiting the ZPD, especially all the things she said about Judy Hopps.

'Holy crap. Hopps is a bunny that solved two of the biggest cases in Zootopia's history, all while mixing it up with criminals a hundred times her size. And all your high-born ass could talk about was that Hopps was a plain-looking, hick rodent from the sticks with a third-rate degree from a worthless diploma mill of a school, who relied on luck and a criminal fox to solve those cases.'

Shaking that awful day out of her head, Cassy thanked her lucky stars that the ride-along had ended early so she could hit a bar and drown out Bechtail's bigoted venom with a half-dozen shots of tequila.

"You know, technically, with her being a female canine, you might want to think of another…"

Cassy glared at Ned in such a way that he could feel his camera being rammed up where the sun don't shine.

"Uh, train stop I mentioned, maybe she's just walking home from work."

Trying to redirect the scary groundhog's ire, Ned pointed out the windshield, "She's stopping outside our target building."

"Yeah," said Cassy, "and she's pulling her gun."

"What do you think she's up to?"

"I don't know, but grab your camera just in case."

-/-/-

"An unmarked van just parked itself your side of the intersection."

Hari touched a key on his radio, "A news van?"

"Wait one.

"Yeah, there's a female groundhog in the front seat."

"That's Longtooth. Breaching team, get ready to roll. As soon as they get out –"

"Shit, everyone hold, we've got company," yelled Mairi into her radio.

Hari looked up from his observation post across the street from where the 'meet' was set to take place and then pulled a curtain open to get a better look than the tripod-mounted binoculars could provide.

"A constable on foot patrol in this neighborhood?"

Mairi joined her boss, "Not on patrol. Looks like she's walking home."

"Damn, let's hope she keeps walking."

"No such luck, she's stopping." And a moment later, Mairi spoke into her radio, "We're boned. Some cop is headed inside, gun drawn."

"What do you want us to do?" asked Mairi, now looking at Elkdon.

"Shots fired. Shots fired," came a voice from the radio.

Rushing back to his live feed monitors, Hari scanned them and then yelled into his radio, "Who the hell's shooting?"

"Nae us, it's that dunderheided boot, she's shooting th' steid up."

"The mastiff cop."

"What the hell, who goes into a building and starts shooting at everything?" asked Hari.

"Aaargh, a' body doon, th' damn boot is doolally!"

Mairi nodded at the speaker, "She's crazy."

Three more shots rang out and almost blew out the speakers.

"I lost all the cameras. What the hell is she unloading on?"

"Ah don't ken, bit she skelp th' remote tae. Tatties o'wer the side, thirty ticks 'n' ew're a' deid."

Hari glared at Mairi.

"She hit the detonator remote control, thirty seconds."

"Get her the hell out of there. Drag her out if you have to. Move it! Now, now, now!" screamed Hari into the radio.

Mairi glanced at her watch and yelled into her radio, "Fire in the hole!" And then seeing her mate stumble out of the building dragging a mastiff with him, she threw herself on the floor.

-/-/-

"My god! Tell me you got that!"

"I got it, I got it!" replied Ned, still filming as debris peppered the top of their van.

"Eat your heart out Dick Hornburg."

-/-/-

"Judy, Nick, come quick. It's all over ZNN. You'll never believe what's happened!" yelled Raven, rushing into the dining room.

"A huge police takedown in Mordinia, hurry."

"What? The Duchy of Mordinia?" asked Judy.

"Yeah, come on."

"But…" moaned Nick as Judy grabbed his paw, just as it reached her tail, and dragged him after Raven.

"We'll finish that later," whispered Judy.

"We better," whisper-replied Nick.

Rushing into the media room, Judy abruptly stopped behind the couch that Raven had just jumped into. Resting her paws on the seatback, Judy watched the large screen TV as she felt Nick put his arms around her waist and gently pull her into his chest.

-/-/-

"…the ZPD described it as a horrific crash. A single mammal, driving on the Z-295 through Sahara Square, appears to have lost control of his vehicle and rammed a barrier, flipping his car into a culvert.

"We go now to Hog Porkson, reporting from the scene of this horrendous crash."

"And Fabienne," added Peter Moosebridge, "A warning to everyone watching, we understand the scene is quite graphic."

"Hog Porkson here reporting from right near exit 28 off of the Z-295. As you can see, a vehicle burst into flames, trapping the driver as it went end over end down the hill. An anonymous bystander recovered a wallet that he said came from the vehicle as it was spinning out of control. The driver appears to have been a red panda named Critt–"

"Hey," the picture shook as a large paw covered the lens, and a voice yelled out, "Officer Wolfard, ZPD, how did you get here? This is the scene of an accident. You, give me that wallet and get back over there behind the warning tape with everyone else.

"Damn reporters."

Fabienne cringed, "Sorry for the language there, folks. Thank you for that report Hog Porkson. Z-295 southbound is still closed, so alternate routes are recommended. The ZPD assured us that the highway would be open in time for rush hour tomorrow morning."

The studio camera zoomed in on Peter, "Now before we end our broadcast, we wanted to bring you the story of a hero, a selfless police officer–"

"Constable, Peter. In the Duchy of Mordinia, they call them Constables," corrected the snow leopard newscaster.

"Ha Ha, of course. Thank you, Fabienne. Our hero tonight is, ah…" holding his hoof to his ear, Peter nodded and said, "Senior Police Constable Viola Bechtail. She risked her life to make the world a better place."

"A little like our own Judy Hopps, right Peter?"

"Let's take a look, Fabienne."

-/-/-

Mabel reached over, grabbed the remote, and turned the volume up on the TV, "Dear, isn't she that horrible animal you had to patrol with a month ago," rubbing her mate's arm, she looked tenderly at him and said, "the one that said all those mean, nasty things about my sweet little snookum-pie?"

McHorn looked up from the newspaper he was holding, stared at the TV for a few moments, and then grunted, "Yeah, that's the bitch."

-/-/-

"Special ZNN correspondent, Cassidy Longtooth, here with you at the scene of what's being called the greatest criminal takedown in history. I'm standing next to the hero of the day, PC Bechtail."

Putting the microphone up to the mastiff, she said, "Constable, please tell us in your own words what happened."

"Senior Police Constable, if you don't mind."

"Uh, sorry."

"Of course, I understand small prey, such as yourself, are slow to understand rank insignia and other badges of honor that the more high-born mammals may wear. I'm sure with practice, you will be able to overcome your plebeian breeding."

Leaning toward the microphone the now scowling groundhog was holding, Bechtail said, "Thank you, Miss Longteeth. I was in need of a respite from a difficult day of mitigating criminal behavior, behavior of which I am sure your kind is quite familiar with, so I decided to walk home in place of procuring a conveyance."

"Longtooth, my name is Longtooth."

"Yes, I understand low-born rodents, such as yourself, are quick to dismiss proper dental hygiene. I will hope that by interviewing someone as accomplished as myself, your betters will see fit to increase your compensation enough to resolve your situation."

The camera caught sight of a fuming groundhog and then quickly refocused on Bechtail.

"As I was strolling past this building, I saw an interior light on and heard a commotion inside a building I had previously determined, by using my superior intellect, was vacant. Realizing that something untold might be occurring, I announced myself, Senior Police Constable Bechtail," and then, pointing toward her shoulder stripes, added, "indicated by these, for your future reference, unholstered my weapon, and entered the building."

Cassy gritted her teeth and then, willing herself not to pummel the mastiff with her microphone on international TV, asked, "What happened next?"

"Well, I, being the well-trained, highly intelligent mammal that I am, immediately sussed out that foul dealings were afoot. And then, using my excellent senses, found the culprit, which I recognized as the notorious assassin known as The Mule sitting at a table conversing with one of his dastardly associates in a vacant office."

"That must have been frightening. What did you do next?"

"Yes, frightening to small, weak, prey mammals, such as yourself, but to those of us that are elite hunters, mammals such as these evildoers are barely worth worrying about.

"Upon assessing the situation and determining that this highly dangerous animal was attempting to fire his weapon at me, I dispatched him."

Giving Cassy a soft, non-patronizing look, Bechtail added, "Which means you, and your helpless friends, are once again safe due to the steadfast actions of your betters."

Bechtail went silent as Cassy glared at the mastiff.

'One… Two… Three…'

"Cassy!" came a whisper-shout from Ned.

Giving the cameramammal a sharp look, Longtooth asked, "Are you sure it was The Mule? He's eluded police throughout the Commonwealth, and the world, for a very long time."

"As prescribed by my superior training and experience, something I am quite certain a creature of your limited intellect has no experience with, before announcing myself I used my cell phone to take a picture of the colloquy as evidence." And then waving the phone in front of Cassy, explained, "As I am sure you can see, this model phone is exceptionally advanced, quite likely too advanced for someone such–"

Cassy grabbed the phone out of Bechtail's paw, typed a few keys, and then waving a paw at Ned, handed the phone back to the mastiff.

Ned dutifully added the still frame of the Mule as an inset to his broadcast feed.

-/-/-

Nick's fur puffed out, and his tail froze mid-wag, 'It couldn't be, no way in hell.'

"Nick," Judy whispered, "that's him, that's the guy who attacked me."

Feeling his phone vibrate, Nick quickly read the text from Finn, sent a terse 'IK CTN DL' response, and then slipped it back into his pocket.

Taking a deep breath, Nick willed himself calm, and then pulling Judy into a tighter hug, he said, "Yeah, and thanks to your friend Bechtail we'll never have to worry about him again."

-/-/-

Pointing at Bechtail's phone screen, Cassy ground out, "What meeting? Besides whatever that is that's trying to look like a mini-horse, the only mammal I can see in the picture is the Mule, and he looks a little pasty or mangy like he was asleep or something. And I don't see his gun anywhere either."

"You obviously have no idea what you are talking about. If your eyesight were not as poor as your dental hygiene, you would clearly be able to see that the Mule was in the process of attempting to add me, Senior Police Constable Viola Bechtail, to his long list of victims. Fortunately, three well-placed rounds to the center of his armored chest instantly rid the world of a most heinous criminal. And if I might add, simultaneously demonstrated to the vast unkempt masses that the faith and trust they put in their betters, such as myself, is well and properly apportioned."

"Ye glaikit wanker, ye busted in oor operation 'n' goosed everything, ye didn 'na shoot th' Mule, ye couldna skelp th' pure wide side o' a barn wi' that tot's pea shooter ye ca' a gun, forby shooting thro' 'is vest," screamed an unintelligible black costumed and masked feline waving his gloved paws around.

"Excuse me?"

"He said you missed, and your gun couldn't shoot through crepe paper, let alone his vest," translated Cassy.

"I beg your pardon, my speech challenged mammal, I, Senior Police Constable Viola Bechtail, always hit everything I shoot at, and my standard issue weapon is adequate to any task I put it to."

"Ye eejit, ye hee-hawed yer hail magazine intae everything bit th' Mule, ye blew th' building up wi' yer tairible aim. 'Twas a' an mishanter."

Cassy smiled as she moved her microphone back to Bechtail, "He said one of your wild shots hit something explosive, and you blew the building up by accident.

"So, are you sure you actually shot the Mule?"

"Most certainly I did. I, Senior–"

"Ye dunderheided, foolish dwiddle, say ye can't skelp anythin' wi'oot a map 'n' a guide or ye wull hae ilka doolally skelpmammal in th' Commonwealth efter ye wanting tae hoist yer tail oan a pike."

"He said, tell everyone it was an accident…"

"I will say no such thing, I dispatched…"

"…or every hitmammal in the Commonwealth will be hunting you for your tail."

"…the Mule, I Senior Police Constable Viola Bechtail, all by myself, bested the– wait, what did you say?"

"I said there's going to be a hunting competition among every wannabe killer in the Commonwealth, and the prize will be your tail."

"My tail?"

"Yup," said Cassy with a grin on her face, "your high-born, soon to be a trophy, TAIL!"

"M-m-my tail?" repeated Bechtail as she was ushered into a van by a pair of black-clad, masked mammals and spirited away.

-/-/-

McHorn laughed and pressed the rewind button again, 'Yup, your high-born, soon to be a trophy, tail…' And then when the clip was done, for the fifth time, McHorn gestured with his middle finger toward the TV and yelled, "Good luck in witness protection, you'll need it, you stupid, dumb-ass, bitch."

Mabel delicately smiled, patted her mate on the arm, and said, "Not so loud, dear. You'll wake the calves."

-/-/-

Holding her mic sideways out in front of her, Cassy looked into the camera and said, "Reporting from the Duchy of Mordinia, this is Cassidy Longtooth saying, 'Good Hunting, y'all.'"

And then dropped her mic.

…..

A/N:

'IK CTN DL' = I know. Can't talk now. Keep it on the down-low.