Disclaimer: Zootopia and all Canon characters are owned by Disney. All other characters, product names, trademarks, and copyrights belong to their respective owners.
…..
"Morning Mom."
"Judy," chirped Bonnie as she passed a spatula to one of her younger daughters and motioned Judy closer. Then, pulling Judy in for a tight hug, Bonnie took a stealthy sniff along Judy's cheek and neck before sighing and saying, "Welcome home, Bun-bun, we missed you so much."
Returning the hug, Judy nuzzled her mom and said, "I've barely been gone a week."
Releasing the hug, Bonnie huffed, "That's too long if you ask me. And just look at you, you're as skinny as a rail."
"Mom, I'm fine. Nick's been giving me cooking lessons, and he's as bad as you with all the taste testing. I've probably put on at least an ounce since we left."
"Not according to my finely tuned predator vision, it's reporting that my energizer bunny of a partner is in great shape," said a voice coming up on the two does.
Feeling her ears blush, Judy mumbled, "Don't listen to him, he's just making excuses for not wanting to go for a run this morning."
"Nicholas, good morning," said Bonnie trying not to smirk as she gave Nick the same tight hug and stealthy once-over she'd given Judy. Sighing again at not smelling a mark on Nicholas either, Bonnie said, "You both cleaned up awfully early today. Are you going into town?"
"Yup," said Judy. "We're going to patrol together."
"Technically, it's a ride-along, but yes, I've got a speed trap location all picked out that should be good for two tractors and a combine."
"That sounds very nice. Would you like me to fix you two a picnic lunch? I hear Lookout Point at lunchtime is quite the wretched hive of scum and villainy, along with having some pretty views."
Nick chuckled as he said, "Sure, solving intergalactic crime is always easier on a full stomach."
"Good," said Bonnie, taking Nick and Judy's paws in hers, "Now go take your seats at the kit's table while I finish with your breakfast. Sunni missed waking you up this morning and won't eat until she knows you're awake.
"By the way, are you okay with the new rooms, or do I need Cody and Colton to expedite the guest rooms?"
"No-no, don't do that. We're good," replied Judy quickly.
"The rooms are fine," added Nick. "The extra insulation makes it easier to, ah…"
"Catch up on paperwork," said Judy, grabbing Nick's paw and pulling him toward the kit's table.
"Yeah, paperwork," Nick said over his shoulder.
"Ahh, paperwork," whispered Bonnie to herself as she practically did a two-step back to the stove, "is that what kits are calling it nowadays."
-/-/-
"Can I cook or can't I," said Brown.
*zzzt pop*
The lights went out.
"Damn."
Using a flashlight and his nose, Brown found the scorched plug-in air freshener that was now acting as a short circuit, pulled it out, and tossed it into the trash. "So much for being able to mask the stench of pred coming from the cages."
Resetting the breaker, this time without melting anything, Brown congratulated himself on getting the lights back on without the obligatory three trips to Den Depot for parts.
"Yeah, like me showing my muzzle outside wouldn't set off a firestorm of questions. Kind of like that fool of a Chief of Police at his ridiculous press conference talking about that harlot of a rabbit who—"
Brown took a deep breath, followed by another, followed by crushing the flashlight in his hoof.
Finally composed enough to think, Brown walked through the lab to ensure that only the lights went off and not anything else. His servers were good, thank the gods. The automated drug processing unit was still safely off and awaiting a mechanical repair that had so far eluded him. Most importantly, though, the gauges on the drug raw material refrigeration units both showed sub-freezing temperatures.
Opening one up, Brown nodded at seeing the light come on. Always a positive sign that a breaker hadn't tripped. Pulling a frost-covered glass container of semi-liquid prohormones, Brown smiled as he said, "Good, all safe and secure." The one ingredient he couldn't get any more of, way out in this dump of a lab location, and a primary ingredient he'd need once he finished repairing the automated processing unit.
'Too much to do, not enough time,' thought Brown as he sat back down at his terminal with a new idea on how to use microcapsules to release the formula into the bloodstream for longer than the six months his last computer simulation had given him.
MCP here. You rang?
About time. Where is the rabbit? Typed Brown into the special app loaded on the lab's computer.
A spinning disc attempted to entertain the wildebeest while he waited for a response.
My bots show she's on desk duty, replied a line of blue text. She's working on her after-action reports.
Keep an eye on her. Tell me if she starts investigating again.
And the fox?
A useless pelt. Hopps is my concern.
Will notify you of any change of status. End of line.
Exiting the secure app, Brown smiled at his luck, "Now, all I have to do is finish my work before that damned rabbit finishes hers and starts snooping around again."
-/-/-
"Good morning, everyone," chirped Judy happily to everyone at the kit's table while still holding Nick's paw in hers.
"Paws," whispered Janae as Judy pulled Nick around the table to the two empty seats next to her littermate.
Judy looked at Janae and then, realizing what she was doing, let go of Nick's paw and said, "Uhm, Nick, why don't you sit next to Sunni? She looks sad, and it's not like we're in a relationship together or anything, so we don't have to sit next to each other or anything, you know, since we're like mammals who are just friends."
Janae facepalmed.
"What?" whispered Judy as she sat down, pulled a few waffles off the stack in the middle of the table, and proceeded to drown them in strawberry syrup.
"You… How… I can't… I mean…" whisper-groaned Janae into her napkin until finally, she looked at Judy and said more clearly, "Seriously, who puts that much syrup on their waffles?"
"I do," said Spencer.
"Me too," added Scotty.
"Me three," said Sasha.
Steven just raised a sticky paw.
Janae looked over at Nick for help but was turned away by the sight of Nick building a volcano out of waffle pieces and Sunni giggling as she filled it up with maple syrup under the direction of her bestest friend.
Janae shook her head, "I'm surrounded by kits."
Everyone nodded as they dug into their breakfast.
Except for Nick.
"Don't worry, Mom cooked something special for your first day back 'cause I couldn't wake you up, and she knows you'd be sad."
Nick nodded, "I was sad that you didn't wake me up, but luckily your sister Judy said she'd wake me up for you. I mean, if that's okay?" and looking sideways at Judy, whispered in Sunni's ear, "Don't tell her I told you, but she doesn't exactly know how to do it right since we're just friends, not bestest friends like you and me."
Janae groaned again, trying to imagine Judy and Nick getting a Razzie for the worst undercover performance ever in the whole history of dumb couples trying to keep their relationship secret.
Sunni looked over at Judy, who was licking strawberry off her muzzle, and whispered back, "Do you want me to show her how to do it right? 'Cause if you're late for work, Mom might ground you."
Nick shrugged as he said a little louder, "Her feet are pretty cold, that might wake me up pretty fast."
Judy made a face at Nick.
"We can show her how to jump on the bed until you fall out," offered Susan.
"Or how to tickle your nose until you sneeze," said Sasha.
"I can make her a water balloon," added Steven.
"As helpful as those ideas are, kits," broke in Bonnie, carrying a platter of puff pastries, "I'm sure Judy will be able to figure something out. And if she can't, I'll write all of you a hall pass so you can help her."
"Yay," yelled three young does as Janae chuckled at her now pouting littermate.
Setting the tray down in the center of the table, Bonnie said, "I made enough extra for everyone to have one if they want. The small ones are meatless for the kits because I don't want anyone's stomach to get upset. The big ones are for the adults."
"Meatless?" asked Nick, sniffing at one of the larger breakfast pastries.
"Yeah," said Janae, blowing on one and taking a bite. "Mom's been practicing cooking predator food while you and Jude were gone.
"Try one, they're pretty good."
Sniffing again, Nick looked up at Bonnie, "Turkey sausage?"
"Uh-huh, along with scrambled eggs and cheddar cheese."
Nick took a tentative bite, followed by a larger bite and a big smile, "Yum! This tastes like something my mom would make. Thank you."
"Good, and I can make more if you want."
Judy was torn between staring after her mother, who had just cooked a platter of meat-filled breakfast rolls for her boyfriend, or at her littermate, who had just finished eating one of those meat-filled pastries.
"Can I have one?" came a voice accompanied by Kristy's paw snatching one of the adult pastries off the tray as she walked by.
"What?" said Judy, not sure who to stare at now.
"Try one," said Janae. "They're a lot better than the nasty stuff we used to dare each other to eat in high school."
"But it's turkey? And you're eating it."
Janae handed Judy a pastry. "Uh-huh."
Sniffing the roll, Judy looked around at her siblings, all more focused on their plates than her, and took a bite. And another bite and then reached for another pastry as the tray slid away from her.
"Mine," said Nick as everyone at the table started laughing.
"What the heck happened while we were gone?" whispered Judy.
"Nothing," replied Janae, handing her littermate another puff pastry off Nick's stack. "But isn't it nice that the warren is a little more used to having predators around? You know, just in case."
Judy's ears pinked up and fell down her back as she munched down the rest of her breakfast.
-/-/-
Courtney Hayes huffed as she pulled down on her short shorts, again. They kept riding up on her as she walked, causing the tail hole stitching to rub uncomfortably against the bottom of her tail.
"And why the heck are they called Daisy Dukes anyway?" groused Courtney to herself as her attention turned to the tight, form-fitting, cleavage-enhancing, brown vest doing its best to show a whole lot more midriff than she'd ever allowed outside the warren swimming hole.
"Try and keep up," said Emmett Hayes, slowing down to keep pace with his daughter. "I don't want to be late."
"I hate walking in these things. They're stupid and uncomfortable, and nobody in their right mind wears tall foot coverings."
"They're called high heels, and I saw that singer, what's her name, wear them once. They're supposed to make your legs look nice."
"Her name is Gazelle, and she's a dancer too, which is why she wears high- whatever these are.
"OW!"
On the ground now, Courtney ripped the high heels off her feet and threw them at her dad, "If you want someone to wear them, you put them on. They hurt, and I hate them."
Letting the foot coverings drop to the ground, Hayes glared at his daughter, "That's enough lip from you, now get up."
Courtney stood, still glaring at her dad, but now with her arms crossed, "I hate being here, I hate all of the Edwards' trash, and I hate this whole stupid idea of yours."
Hayes, now muzzle to muzzle with his daughter, growled as he said, "You mean the stupid idea of mine that is the only way you're ever going to get your own car?"
Courtney wilted.
"That's what I thought. If you want that car, you'll do what you're told. I want the whole mess of them believing you're ready and willing mate material, so you're going to go in there, smile, bat your eyes, wiggle your tail, and keep it up until I get my deal signed.
"And if you don't, I'll cut you off, no money, no shopping, no nothing, not even your phone."
"Fine," spat Courtney, "I promise I won't puke talking to them, but—"
"Look," said Hayes, glancing up at the Edwards house, "I've finally got the goods on the bastard. He has to take my deal, or his warren is done. All I need you to do is sell it hard enough to get one of his bucks interested enough in you that I can pull this off. After Edwards signs, you can keep his boy wrapped around your finger or dump him at the altar. I don't care."
Courtney glared at her dad.
"Make it work, and I'll buy you a new convertible."
Courtney continued glaring at her father for a solid three count, and then, with an ear flip, she adjusted her vest and made her way toward the filthy, rundown house the Edwards clan called a warren.
-/-/-
"Good morning, Wendy. We're here to see the Sheriff if he has a few minutes."
"Officer Wilde," replied the twenty-year-old doe, glancing at the small mirror under her monitor, "I mean Mister Burrow Meister or—"
"Nick's fine, just like it's always been, and this is—"
"Thank you," replied Wendy, licking her lips. "Did you have a nice trip to Zootopia? I saw you on TV. That was very brave of you to sacrifice yourself finding those poor kitnapped mammals. I hope your City girlfriend appreciates everything you do the same as I do, I mean, uh, everyone here in Bunnyburrow does. Assuming you haven't broken up with her yet, that is."
"Well," started Nick until he was interrupted by a firm paw to the chest that pushed him back so Judy could step in between the cauldron of bunny doe hormones boiling over at their fox target.
"He hasn't," growled out Judy. "They are still very much together."
"Very," added Nick from safely behind Judy.
"Yeah, very," said Judy. "And she doesn't take kindly to other does trying to move in on her fox, so you can pass the word around town that Officer Wilde is solidly off the market."
"Yeah," added Nick, who was silenced by an ear across his muzzle.
"Who are you?" huffed Wendy.
"Judy Hopps, Officer Wilde's partner on the ZPD, the one that spends all day, every day, keeping an eye out on his tail. And we'd both like to see the Sheriff now, please."
"Oh," said Wendy, ears having drooped down her back, "I guess I've heard of you."
Pressing a button on the intercom, Wendy sighed as she said in a monotone, "Sheriff Hoofson, Officer Wilde would like to speak with you if you have a minute."
Judy cleared her throat.
"Oh, and his work partner from Zootopia is here too."
"Judy?" came the Sheriff's voice from the intercom.
"Yeah, I guess that's her name."
"Judy Hopps, as I live and breathe," said the same voice, except live, from the open doorway to the Sheriff's office, and with its arms held wide for a hug. "How have you been?"
Giving Sheriff Hoofson a solid bunny hug, Judy said, "Good, thanks, it's been a long time."
"That it has. I'm sorry we couldn't meet in the fur when you volunteered to help your partner patrol a week or so back. I mightily would have enjoyed seeing you corral Deputy Wilde or at least save the town's blueberry crops from an early demise.
"How long can the Burrow expect to have you around protecting our precious harvests?"
Judy chuckled as she saluted and said, "I'm your rabbit, sir. You can rest assured that the town's berry supplies are safe and sound through Carrot Days. After that, Nick and I have to head back to Zootopia."
"That's part of what I wanted to talk with you about, sir. Not the berries, but Judy, along with me finishing out my assignment here," added Nick.
"You're leaving?" whined Wendy. "But you just got back."
"And his assignment is almost over," said Hoofson. "Why don't you pull Officer Wilde's file and bring it in so I can give it a good once-over."
Wendy mumbled something that had Judy's ears practically do a one-eighty just as the Sheriff stepped back into his office, motioning for her and Nick to follow him.
Letting Nick go in first, Judy moved back to Wendy's desk, leaned close to the doe, and whispered, "No, you may not pet his tail, and yes, it feels amazingly soft when it's wrapped against your bare fur."
Closing the door as she stepped into Hoofson's office, Judy heard fists pounding on a desk and smiled.
-/-/-
"Go ahead and turn around so my boys can have a look at what ya' offer'n" said Mason Edwards just before spitting a wad of chew into a spittoon.
Courtney held her tongue. As far as she was concerned, she wasn't offer'n nuthin. 'Great,' she thought, five minutes in their warren, and now you're thinking like them.
The warren was as gross on the inside as it was on the outside. Outside, it looked like the house could come down at any moment, and on the inside, it was a mix between those hoarder programs on TV and some wacked out cult commune theme she couldn't, or didn't want to, figure out.
She knew the Edwards family had been around since the founding of the Burrow, longer than her family, but not as long as the Gardiners and the warren showed it. Old, old, old, worn down and cluttered, except here in the old bun's study. This room was neater and bigger than she expected. Decently clean hardwood flooring, enough open space to walk around or pace as her dad liked to do, and massive bookshelves on every wall, all filled with books, scrolls, and other knick-knacks dating back to forever ago.
And here she was, probably the only mate-eligible doe to set foot in the Edwards warren in a generation. For sure, her older sister Caylee never made it this far before hitching a ride to a better life. No, she wasn't like Caylee. She was her father's daughter with everything that meant. And today, that meant she was being judged by a decrepit old bun and three heinous bucks, one of whom she had to convince to take her as a mate.
'At least long enough for Dad's stupid deal to happen.'
Smiling, scratch that, grimacing, Courtney did a slow turn, feeling like she was a prize turkey on a hook for a group of disgusting predators.
"Kind of skinny," remarked the oldest of the three littermates.
"Not much to look at," added the next youngest by thirty minutes.
"Can she cook?" asked the youngest littermate. "Ever since Ruth Anne left, I've been stuck doing all the cooking."
The eldest peeled himself away from the bookshelf he was leaning against and, with a face reminiscent of the look he gave when his turn to clean out the chicken coops came, walked over to Courtney, checked her ears, felt her paws for callouses, and then with a last look at her tail, grunted, "I'll take her if you want me to."
"Maybe," said Edwards. "She don't look like she's much for carrying kits."
Courtney huffed as she folded her arms in front of her chest and growled out, "How dare you, you decrepit old—"
"Quiet!" spat Edwards, you Hayes does aren't the most productive in town. It might be better to try and strike a deal with the Hopps warren or the Leapwells, their does are known to be productive."
Courtney scoffed, "Good luck with that. Ever since old bun Leapwell died and his kits took over their diner, they don't make any never-mind about what species mammal they sell too, and," adding in a quieter tone, "I know for certain that the Hopps does would sleep with a hare before they would let any of you touch them."
"Disgusting," spat Courtney's suitor, still standing next to her.
"She's capable enough for you, Edwards," said Hayes. "So, do you want to do a deal or not?"
"Boys, get to your chores and put the girl in with the little ones. Emmett and me got some business to talk."
Courtney looked around at all the bucks in the room, old bun Edwards dismissing her, his disgusting sons, and her dad just standing there.
"I won't be ordered around like some kind of lowlife servant. If I want to stay, I'm going to."
Two of the bucks each grabbed an arm with their paws.
"Go stay with the kits until I'm done," said Hayes. "If I need you, I'll send for you."
"But…" was the last thing Hayes heard from Courtney as the study door was closed, and he turned toward his longtime nemesis, Mason Edwards.
Who happened to be on his feet glaring at Hayes.
"I ought to toss you out of here on your tail after you're oldest done what she did, runnin' away and all."
"You're boys aren't exactly the epitome of what a doe is looking for in a buck. Which means you need me if you want to keep this warren viable."
"I don't need you or your kin for anything. If my boys are slow to find mates that can provide, the young'uns will be of age soon enough."
"You were quick to banish Ruth Anne. Why?"
"She soiled herself with a hare. What other reason do I need."
"Or maybe she was never going to be able to solve your warren's problem, so you didn't care."
With a finger waving in front of Hayes' muzzle and a growl in his voice, Edwards spat out, "Stop talking in circles and say your piece, or I will toss you and your spawn out of my warren."
"Who was the Neach-fianais at yours and Lylla's mating ceremony?"
Backing away, Edwards shrugged, "Ceremony was done out of town, so I don't remember."
"Maybe you don't remember because you didn't have one," said Hayes, handing Edwards a letter from his lawyer with the results of document searches done in Bunnyburrow and all the surrounding towns. "And according to this, there's no record of you and Lylla ever meeting with Judge Beans, or anyone else, to have the paperwork witnessed after the fact. A mistake you made years ago that I'm sure you realized about the time you found out about Ruth Anne's condition."
Edwards dropped back down into his chair.
"The Old Law prescribes that all Border Warren mating ceremonies are to be witnessed to maintain the integrity of the bloodlines. Without a Neach-fianais in attendance, all of Lylla's kits are diolein, and I'm the only one offering you a way to legally keep your warren going."
Drumming his fingers on the chair's armrest, Edwards glowered as he thought through his list of options.
A list that was maddeningly short.
"No cheatin' me on the number of litters we agreed to before. This warren's got lots of needs, especially with all the changes gettin' ready to happen around here."
"You have my word as Border Warren," replied Hayes, making a cryptic and decidedly un-Border Warren like, paw gesture that was returned by Edwards.
…..
"But…" was all Courtney got out as she was escorted to a playroom a few doors down the hall from the study."
"Be a good girl and stay in here until they're done, or you'll get a whip'n," said the buck whom she was pretty sure was her betrothed, or worst case, so she thought while glaring at the now closed and locked door, the only Edwards buck willing to have her.
"Great, just great," said Courtney, about to try and kick the thick door open.
"Hi," came a whisper from a nine-year-old buck poking his head out from behind a chair.
Courtney groaned, "Great, a kit."
"Me too," said another young voice.
Staring daggers at a seven-year-old doe peeking out behind a couch, Courtney spat out, "Are there any more of you ankle-biters hiding in here?"
"Just me," said an eleven-year-old buck coming out from around his sister, who was still hiding behind the couch. "If you're going to give us a whipping for listening in, I'll take all theirs along with mine. I was the one that figured it out.
"I swear this was the first time I've ever listened in on my dad and his friends, and I promise I'll never do it again."
"Wha…" said Courtney as the young buck started to unbutton his shirt.
"What are you doing? I'm not going to whip anyone. Stop that right now."
"Yes, ma'am," said the older buck, head down and paws at his sides. "Sorry."
"Sorry," added the nine-year-old.
"Me too," said the doe.
Courtney closed her eyes and pulled on her ears, and then about to stomp her foot, the younger buck said, "Careful, Dad doesn't like it when anyone stomps. He says it's dish respectful."
Pulling back from the tantrum she was about to throw, Courtney focused back on the kits who were now hugging each other with the two youngest behind their older brother and… took a deep breath.
"Okay, I'm Courtney. Who are you guys?"
"I'm Wesley," said the oldest buck.
"I'm Price," replied the younger buck.
"Me too," said the doe poking out from behind Wesley.
"She's Becca," said Wesley.
Becca stuck out her tongue, cutely.
Walking over to where the kits were standing, Courtney kneeled and said, "Nice to meet you guys. Now, what were you listening in on that you thought you'd get in trouble for?"
Wesley pointed to where a toy bin was pulled away from a crudely installed vent return in the wall. "We heard you talking to Dad."
Courtney crawled over to the vent, lifted an ear, and…
"You sure your doe is as committed to this as my boy is?" asked Edwards. "I don't want a repeat of what happened last time."
"I've already talked to her about her commitment. We wouldn't be here if she weren't ready, willing, and able."
Courtney huffed as she said to herself, "Yeah, right, like I'm going to let that Neanderthal of a buck ever touch me. As soon as the deal's signed, I'm out of here."
"And the dowry? My boy's gonna want something concrete if'n he's going to have to ride herd on your doe."
"A dowry?" huffed Hayes as Courney heard her dad stomp around. "My girl will be working hard for your warren, that should be enough."
"That ain't work, that's duty," spat back Edwards. "Taking her on aint't gonna be cheap, and as scrawny as she is, I'm a mite worried she won't be able to keep up with my oldest. So, a dowry or no deal."
Courtney huffed again as she looked down at herself and then at the nearby group of kits and asked quietly, "What's he talking about? I'm not scrawny. I work out and try to eat right.
"You guys don't think I'm scrawny, do you?"
Wesley shook his head.
Price paused but, seeing the look in Courtney's eyes, shook his head, too.
Becca nodded until she looked at her brother and changed to shaking her head.
Courtney sighed and then turned back to the vent as she heard more stomping, followed by the creaking of a chair and her dad saying, "Alright, what do you want for her?"
The scratches of an old pen on paper were followed by a crinkle and a gasp.
"Are you completely insane? No way in hell am I giving you that much in dowry."
"You saying your girl ain't worth it? Then why're you over here waving my troubles in my muzzle and try'n to get me to mate off one of my sons?"
Courtney heard grumbles from her dad and then, "Let's plan on holding the ceremony the evening of the Carrot Days festival. That should give me enough time to have my lawyer draw up the contract and get you your dowry."
Hearing footsteps again, a door opening, and a voice coming from a different direction than the vent…
"Henry, fetch your new fiancée and bring her here."
…Courtney closed the vent and moved the out of place toy bin back in front of it.
…..
"One last thing," said Hayes, "if you want the dowry up front, I'll need you to have your boys do me a little favor. A show of good faith, if you will."
Putting out his paw to seal the deal just made, Edwards smiled and said, "Of course, Emmett. Anything for family."
-/-/-
"So, Wilde, I assume you're ready to be done with your vacation in the City and get back to doing some serious work for a change."
"Yes, sir. I know I left a lot of miscreants to their own devices, along with crimes unsolved, and pies uneaten, so I'd sure like to get back to it if you're willing," replied Nick with a grin.
"Yes'un I could see where those miscreant pies might need some dealing with, but why is Miss Hopps here?" asked Hoofson.
"I want to patrol with Nick, like we did that last day before we had to leave, except more official."
"Hmmm… you mean like being an official Bunnyburrow deputy in training? I don't know, I'm not sure about a rabbit deputy. What will the big-city folk think about that?"
"Well," said Nick in his best drawl, "I'ma thinking if maybe I put in a good word for this-un gal, you might see your way to starting her out as'n a full-fledged Assistant Deputy. You know, skip the parking duty parts of the training."
Judy rolled her eyes.
Hoofson chuckled for a moment until, waving a hoof to keep Judy from punching her partner, he said, "In all seriousness, before officially approving this kind of unholy alliance, I have a couple of concerns."
Judy's ears perked up, "Yes, sir?"
"As I told your partner when he showed up in my office almost two months ago, Bunnyburrow is a quiet town. We don't have much going on, and I'd like to keep it that way. If you young 'uns catch my meaning."
"Uh, well," said Judy with a toothy smile, "I… did something happen that you're worried about?"
Pressing a button on his keyboard, Hoofson nodded toward a monitor on his wall and said, "As a matter of fact, my newly promoted Lead CSI technician, Raven Hopps, sent me a couple of links she said I'd find interesting."
Clicking and starting back up a video, Hoofson smiled as he turned the monitor on his desk toward Nick and Judy.
"Does Officer Wilde have a mate or anyone he's seriously dating?"
Judy zeroed in on the screen and the evil it was displaying.
"Uhhh," started a very attractive doe holding a microphone as she brushed back her annoyingly cute ears, and said, "My, uh, viewers would like to know for… background."
"Background, my furry little—" hissed Judy.
"Carrots!" whisper-shouted Nick.
Pausing the video stream, Hoofson said, "I take it you two haven't seen your boss's press conference from yesterday."
"No, sir," grumbled Judy. "We took the late train into the Burrow last night, and neither of us turned on our phones until, actually, I haven't turned mine on yet."
"Well then," smiled Hoofson, "I'll rewind this, and then we can watch this morning's follow-up report together."
"Oh goody," groaned Judy. "I've got a bad feeling about this."
"Yes, yes, you should," said Hoofson, clicking a button on his computer.
…..
"Goodpaws?" growled Judy, "What the heck kind of name is that? Give me a few minutes alone with little Miss GrabbyClaws, and I'll—"
"Carrots," whispered Nick, "Ixnay on the bunny fists of eathday."
"Harrumph."
Hoofson looked back and forth between the scowling bunny and the nervous fox and, deciding he didn't really want to know what was going on, pressed a key and said, "Next up, we have what I understand is a segment from today's 'Good Morning Zootopia' broadcast."
"Cool," said Nick, I love their cooking segments."
"So do I," replied Hoofson, "but I'm pretty sure this ain't going to be about our kind of cooking."
…..
"Welcome back to Good Morning Zootopia with Revis Philbuck and Catty Lee Growlford. As promised, we have a new report on last Friday's apocalyptic takedown of a prey terror group to show you courtesy of ZNN's newest investigative reporter, Cassidy Longtooth."
"Yes, Revis," said the deer buck's feline co-host, "Cassy was given exclusive access to a trove of information, including audio and video recordings from the ZPD, the ZFD, a Commonwealth Guard unit, and other unnamed official sources, and she's worked tirelessly since yesterday to put this report together."
"Absolutely, Catty Lee. Let's go live to the epicenter of destruction in the Savanna Central Industrial Zone and hear what Cassy has discovered."
…..
"Good morning everyone. This is Cassy Longtooth, live from where the heroes of Zootopia, Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde, once again found and rescued predator victims from a drug conspiracy reminiscent of the horrific Nighthowler case from over a year ago. As Catty Lee mentioned—"
"Found and rescued? If you ask me, it was more like fumbled around and destroyed everything." said another voice from outside the camera's view.
Judy gasped when the camera view widened, "Tomato worms and…"
"…Beetle borers," whispered Nick. "What's she doing there?"
"Councilor Woolerby," said Cassy with a grimace as she moved to share her live broadcast. "Good morning—"
"Council Chair Woolerby, if you please. And what's good about it? We're standing in front of what looks like the aftermath of a major military strike. Two piles of rubble, one of which used to be a five-story kit's toy warehouse, the other, hell, I don't know, and I don't think anyone will ever be able to figure out what it was after some sort of monstrous flying bomb completely obliterated it."
"Why does everyone keep bringing that up?" grumbled Judy, "It was just a tank of chemicals that shot across an empty lot and accidentally blew up. Besides, no one got hurt."
"In that explosion," whispered Nick.
Judy sighed.
"Do you have any idea how much all this destruction is going to cost? Do you, Miss Longtooth? Well, I do, and it's a lot. Besides the property damage, there's all the ZPD overtime for investigating this mess and patrolling the whole area, the long list of ZFD costs I saw this morning while trying to choke down my coffee, and then the piece de resistance, an entire Commonwealth guard unit, including a squadron of the deadliest, most advanced attack helicopters in existence backed up by massive ground support and anti-aircraft guns.
"And yes, you heard me right, attack helicopters and anti-aircraft guns that were tasked to keep the air space over the burning buildings clear so the ZFD could put two buildings worth of massive flames out before they spread like wildfire and consumed the entire Industrial Zone in a rage of fiery death."
Nick raised a brow, "Seriously?"
"Not now," whispered Judy back as she glanced toward Hoofson, who was staring wide-eyed at the screen, muzzle agape.
"A Guard unit, four TUSK units, well over a hundred ZPD officers from five different districts, and at least 20 fire stations worth of personnel and equipment all for a pair of drunk preds that will probably never amount to anything beyond being poster kits for the dregs of society."
Cassy stood holding the microphone in front of Councilor Woolerby for a long few seconds of stunned silence before finally saying, "What?!"
"Dregs of society?" replied the ewe, now smiling."
"No, I mean yes. I've reviewed hours of video and spoken with some of the mammals that were on the front lines of this action, and they all agree that the vast majority of the damage was caused by the prey terrorist group, not the ZPD. If not for the bravery of Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde, two predator victims would have most certainly perished."
"If you ask me, and you are, it was a lot of damage for not a lot of return," replied Woolerby. "The Meadowlands District leadership is much more judicious in our responses to emergencies like whatever happened here."
Catching herself from growling, Cassy said, "Judicious? Do you really mean that or is that just another way of saying you're proud of the fact that the Meadowlands' police units have been exclusively prey mammals ever since Bellwether rode the sheep vote into office as Assistant Mayor?"
Woolerby huffed as she brushed a gray curl of wool out of her eyes and said directly into the camera, "I'll be keeping a close eye on the ZPD from here on out, especially your supposed heroes, Hopps and Wilde.
"Good day to you, Miss Longtooth."
Cassy glared at the retreating ewe, and about to give in to her instincts and whistle a danger warning to her family colony, she—
"Cassy," whisper-shouted her cameramam.
Turning back to the camera, Cassy took a breath and said, "Despite what you just heard, what happened here was not some sort of accounting exercise. According to the video records I've seen and the eyewitnesses I interviewed, the damage you see behind me was caused by a prey terrorist group trying to prevent the ZPD from rescuing a pair of predator kitnap victims."
Standing up straighter and looking as earnest as she could, Cassy said, "Those of you who know me and my work know that I'm a straight shooter with the truth. So, the ZPD has shared information with me that I can't disclose because the investigation into the demise of this terrorist group is still ongoing. But, what I can disclose is that the ZPD is taking what happened here very seriously.
"They don't currently believe any other terrorist actions are imminent, but just to be on the safe side, they've upped their readiness, implemented streamlined communications with the ZFD and other local agencies, started liaising with the Guard unit you heard mentioned before, and are reaching out to the Commonwealth about forming a joint investigative task force targeted at finding out who was behind this attack and preventing anything like it from happening again.
"Finally, Chief Bogo wanted me to inform you that the ZPD has established a tip line. The number should be below on your screen, and if anyone has any information you think could help the investigation, please call immediately.
"Thank you. This has been Cassy Longtooth reporting from the Savanna Central Industrial Zone. Have a great rest of your day."
…..
"Yay us," whispered Nick.
Judy groaned as she whispered back, "Really?"
"Well…," interrupted Hoofson, wiping his brow with an old handkerchief as he tried to settle himself. "I reckon you can see why I might be a touch concerned about the two of you teaming up here in my quiet little town and causing a ruckus."
Judy nodded.
"Sir, I—" started Nick.
"And you ain't off the hook here either, Deputy Wilde, newly minted Burrow Meister, smiter of evil tenets, and general thorn in the tails of the town's old-timers."
"Yes, sir."
Looking back and forth between the two subdued mammals, Hoofson made sure to glare extra sternly at Wilde, mostly because he'd promised Chief Bogo he would when this conversation happened, and to give Hopps an encouraging grunt, along with a warning wag of his hoof.
Discipline done, Hoofson said, "So, if I agree to this, do I have your word that you'll be on your best behavior?"
"Yes, sir," said Nick.
"And no explosions from you, Deputy Hopps."
"No sir," said Judy, hopping off her chair and saluting.
"Wait a second," said Nick, joining his partner. "How come she's already a Deputy? What happened to Assistant Deputy?"
"Deputy Hopps, your first assignment, if you don't mind."
"Ow."
"Very good. Judy, your new gear is in your locker. Have a nice shift."
…..
"Whoa, Carrots, you look pretty hot in that uniform."
Judy smiled as she turned around to show off her new Deputy uniform. It wasn't the form-fitting blue neoprene uniform she was used to, but more similar to her ZPD blues, except for the light brown color, black tie, and a more relaxed fit.
"I never thought I'd be excited to wear a Deputy's uniform. I was always so set on getting out of Bunnyburrow and being on my own with the ZPD."
"Yup, you've done it again. First rabbit officer at the ZPD and now the first rabbit Deputy of the Bunnyburrow Sheriff's Department. You're all growed up."
Dodging a playful punch, Nick cleared his throat and said, "Deputy Hopps, Atten-Shun!"
Judy instantly went to attention as her superior, barely, walked around her, giving her one last inspection.
Well, there was a pause for a longer tail inspection.
"Nick..."
"Of course," said Nick, now standing in front of his new partner, "although I did notice your uniform is not in order."
"What," started Judy, looking down at her shirt.
"Ahem," interrupted Nick, holding up the missing item.
"Oh," smiled Judy, returning to attention.
Smiling, Nick carefully pinned a new gold six-pointed deputy sheriff's badge on Judy's shirt, and then, stepping back, he saluted her. "Welcome aboard, Deputy Hopps."
Judy returned her partner's salute and said, "Thank you, Deputy Wilde. Glad to be part of the team."
"Good, because you're a role model now. All the kits in town will know it's possible for a rabbit to not only be ZPD but to work in the Sheriff's department too."
"Yup, just like you're being a good example to all the small predators here."
"Okay, now that we're both ready to be good examples, I know this great diner that serves the best eggs benedict. Shall we go investigate?"
"Sure," said Judy with a chuckle. When in Rome, right? Besides, I haven't had a second breakfast in a long time."
-/-/-
"What have you got?" asked Bogo.
"The hacker, he's watching Judy do her ZPD paperwork," snickered Clawhauser.
"In Bunnyburrow? What ZPD paperwork? I told her she was on leave from the ZPD until Wilde was done."
"No, sir. In cyberspace. His bots think they're watching the real Judy work here in her office. He swallowed my blue pill hook, line, and sinker."
"Blue pill?"
"Uh-huh, great, isn't it?"
"One of these days, Ben…"
"Yes, sir. One of these days."
…..
A/N:
Diolein = Illegitimate
From the Matrix, 1999:
Red Pill = Learning the Truth
Blue Pill = Remain in a Virtual World
…..
Quirky-Middle-Child, over on DeviantArt, created a fun piece of fanart for this chapter. If you'd like to see this work, it's located at: www{dot}deviantart{dot}com/mikey2084/art/Judy-s-First-Uniform-Inspection-1097395486