Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last conversation. You are all so fabulous. I am giving you more things to read while you are social distancing.

We are still in the "Tony and Steve have their shit together" timeline. The next chapter will take place in the "bad choices were made" timeline. The new consultant is MJ, and Venom is Flash. Wonder how he got that nickname. For those of you that skipped over text messages from the Edge, MJ and Flash are friends who just happened to be crushing on the same guy. A guy who is oblivious to everything. They bonded over asshole dads. Flash's father is abusive, and MJ's dad abandoned her again the year before.

Warning: Discussion regarding a questionable consent situation. Remember, enthusiastic consent is always necessary. Never do something you're not 100% comfortable with. Also, this chapter approaches the high end of the T rating for a brief moment, maybe even getting close to M.

Conversation 2: Why didn't you tell me I made out with Peter Parker?

The new consultant: So Afia told me that you know and told me to text you via the Avengers communication system before running into some top-secret meeting that will hopefully tell her where the fuck my cousin is. Are you in Avenger medical?

The new consultant: Did you faint? You're not drinking again, are you? I worry about you.

Venom: Still sober, which is somewhat remarkable considering this day began with seeing my now ex-boyfriend making out with somebody else on Instagram and ended with me finding out my best friend is a robot.

Venom: Which truth was my robot friend referring to? The fact that I was rejected last year by the same guy twice on the same day or that my only friend is a robot.

Venom: Also, who came up with my codename? I don't like Venom. Why on earth did they decide to refer to me as Venom in this system?

The new consultant: Regarding your code name, I don't know. I think it's randomly assigned. I'm apparently stuck with the new consultant. I don't even know who the old consultant was.

Avenger Karen: The old consultant was Mr. Stark-Rogers himself. Your cousin also took on that name for a while. Mr. Stark-Rogers chose that nickname for you. The boy in the chair assigned Mr. Thompson the codename, venomous asshole, during his Shield apprenticeship before his mother removed him from the program. Spidey changed it to Venom because he knew you would want a cool superhero codename. Also due to the various media deals with the Avengers, the use of the codename Flash is prohibited by Warner Media.

Venom: Who is the boy in the chair?

Avenger Karen: No one under 18 can be referred to by their actual name on official Avengers/ATCU communications channels. However, you are no longer a minor. I will tell you he is Spidey's friend.

Venom: I shouldn't even be surprised that Spidey's BFF came up with that name. Also, apparently, somebody is switching to the new last name early.

The new consultant: That also confirms that you have other friends who are not robots, including teenage mutant ninjas spider. Although personally, I don't consider Afia a robot. She is still a person who just happens to be a fabricated Wakandan American.

Venom: OK, point.

The new consultant: Spidey is your friend or possibly more than a friend. We're still in high school, there's no real need for labels.

Venom: Who never told me that he is Spider-Man. Or that he made out with me at the Fitzsimmons wedding last year.

Venom: Sorry, I kissed your not-a-boyfriend in front of you. I still don't get why you gave me chocolate after that humiliation.

The new consultant: I'm not. It was an enjoyable experience. You're also the reason why Peter figured out he isn't heterosexual. I gave you chocolate because I knew you needed it. We are friends.

Venom: Oh. I didn't know that.

Venom: I knew that we're friends, but I didn't realize that's how [redacted] figured out the truth. That's a lot.

The new consultant: You're not going to faint on me again?

Venom: I fainted on [redacted] and Afia.

The new consultant: It still counts.

Venom: Okay, why does the system redact Penis P's name, but not Afia?

The new consultant: I have no idea. Let's just refer to him as Benji for the rest of this conversation. Unless you want to discuss your fascination with his genitalia.

Venom: So how long have you known who Benji really is? Obviously, long enough to give me chocolate at the wedding. Why did I think it was a good idea to kiss a random superhero?

The new consultant: Heat of the moment. I've known since the inauguration. It was just too coincidental that Spider-Man showed up in DC again at the same time Benji was there.

Venom: I'm an idiot.

The new consultant: No, you were busy dealing with family drama. Even without Benji accidentally taking the mask off in front of you, you would've figured it out soon.

Venom: Yet, I didn't pick up on it when I was living in the Stark-Rogers household. I just assumed Benji was holding back in PE to keep the boy in the chair from feeling bad.

The new consultant: I think that might be partially true. You're aware he gets jealous. The boy in the chair doesn't even know Benji is probably a Kenzie 2 and checks your ass out in gym class regularly.

Venom: Something else I apparently never noticed. Along with the fact that Afia never eats. At least not those first few months.

The new consultant: She does now. Her body can create energy from food just like we do. She got an upgrade last summer.

Venom: ?

The new consultant: Are you familiar with Clark's third law?

Venom: Sufficiently advanced scientific Technology is indistinguishable from magic or something like that?

The new consultant: Close enough. That's essentially Afia. The state of New York won't allow Tony to adopt, so his AI Friday decided to take things into her own hands with the help of the Princess. They used science to create a person, a child for Tony to raise.

Venom: Which is bull shit because Tony is such a better dad than my parents. Any child would be happy to have him as a father. He does so well with [redacted].

Venom: I guess I can't say that name either.

The new consultant: We call him Spidey Junior, and you're going to have to ask Tony to explain that nickname.

Venom: I caught him sticking to the walls once. I think I get the idea. I really am that oblivious.

The new consultant: Afia is happy to be his daughter. She's a person. She just came into the world a little differently.

Venom: I think I get that, and I'm not that upset about the robot thing because, honestly, she tried to tell me the truth since the beginning. Since I'm stuck in medical with nothing to do, I've been reading our old text messages, and it's all there.

The new consultant: She has. You just never believed her.

Venom: I think we have established that I'm an idiot.

The new consultant: Just incredibly obtuse. I really wish you would've figured out your ridiculous behavior regarding Benji was a crush when we were freshmen.

Venom: That would've required me to figure out I am gay, and that took a while.

The new consultant: Because your dad was a homophobic asshole and unfortunately, you internalized his toxic behavior.

Venom: You really do see everything.

The new consultant: I guess this is the point in this conversation where I offer my condolences for the ex-boyfriend.

Venom: You're not sorry we broke up. You hated the guy I was dating.

The new consultant: Maybe because I saw this coming, especially after you called me in tears after flying out to California to see him. You still never told me why.

Venom: We got in a fight because I didn't want to go all the way. I thought I was ready when I decided to go to California for Valentine's Day, but I freaked out the moment he inserted a second finger. It didn't feel right. He was mad that I stopped things and kept trying to talk me into continuing, but I just left and then called you.

Venom: Okay, I pushed him away, then I called you after I got a lyft to the airport. Allegedly that's why he fucked around with someone else despite sending apology flowers. Apparently, the hooking up with someone else was happening long before Valentine's Day, and I'm an idiot for not noticing.

The new consultant: You can do better. You deserve someone who respects your boundaries.

Venom: You mean [redacted].

Venom: I mean, Benji. This filter is good.

The new consultant: Well, you do you know his biggest secret now, and I'm sure at least he knows that no means no. Also, if he ever found out what happened, he may be tempted to break his no-killing policy. At a minimum, he would web him up to the Hollywood sign or something.

Venom: Because apparently, he's the epitome of good. He's crushing on you.

Venom: I'm still having trouble reconciling Benji with Spidey, and really, I shouldn't.

The consultant: No, because he also likes you. He enjoyed kissing you more than Liz.

Venom: We still need to talk about him being Spider-Man first. Which won't be that hard since we're going to be sharing a room at the Lighthouse as soon as I'm freed from medical. Which will apparently happen once the all-hands meeting is over on deck 52.

Venom: Did you know that last year's wedding location is a secret Shield/ATCU/Avenger base with like 100 floors underground?

The new consultant: Yes. I spent a lot of my summer there.

The new consultant: Be easy on Benji. I think part of him wanted to tell you the truth, but he was afraid.

Venom: Which is understandable because rumors about our Inhuman heritage got us targeted by terrorists.

The new consultant: Actually, I think that he's been less careful around you than other people so he was hoping you would find out by accident.

Venom: Except I am ridiculously obtuse apparently, and he literally had to take his mask off in front of me for me to get it.

Venom: Afia has been telling me she is a robot since we first met each other, and I didn't believe her. What is wrong with me?

The new consultant: That you're not used to the world we live in yet. Your mind was just trying to come up with the most rational explanation possible. You should probably ask Simmons to give you the orientation.

Venom: I'm afraid to even ask what that is.

The new consultant: It's probably for the best.

The new consultant: You know I really am okay if you and Benji hook up.

Venom: You'll just want pictures?

The new consultant: Maybe.

Venom: I'm not. I just broke up with my long-distance boyfriend because he was sleeping with someone else allegedly because I wasn't ready to put out. Also, I just found out my two crushes are the same person. We need to talk.

The new consultant: Which is a good idea because I was about a week from locking you two in a room together to work things out.

The new consultant: With lube and condoms.

Venom: [6 Rolling eyes emojis]

Venom: I'm not sure how to start that conversation. I'm sure it will just be awkward, and I may end up calling him Penis [redacted] again.

The new consultant: Then maybe you should write to him. His Avenger system name is TMNS short for teenage mutant ninja spider.

Venom: That's your great advice?

The new consultant: It worked for Afia's parents. They were publicly fighting in an airport before they started texting each other. Now they're getting married in a month. I know she told you how they work through their issues. If it can work for the future Dr. and Mr. Stark-Rogers, then maybe you should try it, Eugene.

Venom: I really should change my first name. I feel like that name was their first act of cruelty against me.

The new consultant: You really should. I'm now glad I'm a Jones instead of a Johnson, cool superhero cousin non-withstanding.

The new consultant: I'm going to try to sleep, but tell your BFF to text me when she gets back no matter what. I really want to know what's going on with my cousin.

Venom: I'm sure it is just a mission thing. You told me Quake goes dark all the time.

The new consultant: I just feel like something different is happening this time. Like we're on the cusp of something big. I hope it's not another New York.

Venom: Or murder bots fiasco.

The new consultant: One can hope.

To be continued.