Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last conversation. You are also wonderful. It's time for another in-person discussion between Tony Potts and Steve May-Rogers. Those two have a lot of stuff to work through and little time to do it. We have an apocalypse to undo.
I also wonder if this chapter went above the T rating. I didn't mean for it to happen; I just accidentally walked into it. I forgot this was an in-person conversation which means we get to hear thoughts, and Steve has some non-PG-13 thoughts. We are all aware most of Tony's thoughts are above PG-13, especially when Steve May-Rogers is concerned.
Once again, we are going through the 36 questions that lead to love from the New York Times. .
However, I'm adapting the questions slightly to avoid pure plagiarism. Hey, maybe they are somewhat different in their timeline.
Finally, this is probably the longest chapter in this story. It goes over 5000 words. I don't think you mind, though, since it's Steve and Tony working through some stuff. I guess this is an appropriate post for Steve's 103rd birthday.
Warning: Sexual Suggestive dialogue
In-person conversation three: More Questions and Maybe Some Answers
"So, I have good news and bad news," Tony said, walking into the guest room Pepper took Steve to after storytime earlier. He was carrying his overnight bag.
"Does Morgan need another story? She's already had three." Morgan didn't want him to leave. Although he adored Tony's daughter, he also needed sleep. Which seems weird. He's gone for days without sleep because of missions. However, a full day around Tony has mentally exhausted him in a completely different way.
"So good news, Simmons has admitted she has a problem, and Laura will help design a treatment game plan. We might have to import a drug counselor from the good timeline. Someone that won't freak out when we explained her fiancé accidentally time traveled and created a new timeline along with marrying someone else." Tony sighed as he sat down in the chair across from the bed.
"At least it's an option now. We made the right choice coming up here if Hunter helped her get to that realization." Steve rationalized.
"This trip was definitely worth it because I now have like 50 photos of you being cuddled by the kids. You're adorable when you're being cuddled by a four-year-old." Tony remarked. "She will be five soon. She's getting so big. I'm pretty sure she grew half an inch while I was at the compound."
"I feel that way every time Kamala comes home for the weekend. Morgan will be a teenager before you know it."
"Teenage years are overrated. I still don't get why other me went straight to teenagehood." Tony sighed. "He has a whole gaggle of teenagers."
"Because he came across kids that needed him. So what's your bad news?" Steve asked.
"I considered sleeping in Hunter's room after I remade the bed, but I found a bottle of KY in the middle of it. I'm just not going to be able to sleep in there. How could he defile my guest room so quickly?" Tony shuddered.
"One, this is Pepper's house, as you told me earlier. Two, that's Hunter's usual room." Steve said pointedly.
"True, but I do have a room here. Actually, this is my room." This explains the ridiculously soft sheets on the bed. Also the fact the color scheme was the same as Tony's room at the compound. Steve never had the heart to give it to someone else. It's not like they didn't have the space even with Melinda's people there. "Robin is in the guestroom. However, I promise that the sheets are clean, and all my sex toys are in the bathroom at the cabin." Steve instantly thought about Tony lying naked on the most likely $2000 sheets with Steve using one of those toys on him. That was not a thought he needed to have right now. Especially considering what he found in his toiletry bag a few minutes ago.
"It would be in bad taste to do anything like that here." Steve will not think about Tony using those toys on himself in this bed.
"Thank you for telling me. It's fine. I'll sleep on the couch; it wouldn't be the first time. I don't want to kick you out of your own bedroom."
"That's not happening. You are ridiculously tall now, and you'll kill Pepper's couch. She loves that couch. They went out of business after the snap, so I'm never going to be able to find a replacement. Besides, I was reminded by Laura that we shared a bed before." It happened during the Ultron fiasco. They somehow woke up tangled around each other, fully erect, and agreed never to talk about it. In hindsight, that was probably a mistake.
"Right, she would know that because Ultron happened before the timelines diverged." This meant it's an experience that the happy couple also shared. Friday implied that things went quickly because they were already in love with each other. This means seven years ago, he and Tony were already in love with each other, but seven years is a long time.
"I wish it wasn't something that happened in both timelines. That mess is still my number three regret." Tony explained.
"What are the first two?" Am I one of your regrets? Steve wanted to ask instead, but he knew better.
"Number two is accusing Pepper of cheating on me when she ended up pregnant with Morgan. That's the main reason we're not together anymore." Steve felt that there was probably another reason, but he chose not to press on that issue at the moment.
"Why did you do that?" Steve chose to ask instead.
"Because before the magic snap, I was sterile. You can't suffer Palladium poisoning without some long-term side effects. But the purple ass hole fixed my sperm count, so here we are. Which leads us to number one because my biggest regret is us being so in pieces we couldn't stop the purple ass hole from wiping out half of all life." Tony confessed.
"That's also my biggest regret." Because it's obvious from the other timeline that they at least have a chance to defeat Thanos because those Avengers are still together.
"It's weird how the best thing in your life can be connected to the worst thing." He could hear what Tony was really saying. If they didn't lose, he would never have had Morgan. That was a heavy thought.
"Some days, I wish they found me sooner, or I never went in the ocean. But then, if things were different, I would not have met you. I wouldn't have met May or have Robin as my daughter. If Pauly didn't die, I wouldn't have Robin either. If the snap didn't happen, I wouldn't have Kamala. It feels weird that something so horrible can lead to such good things." Steve lamented.
"We are professional lemonade makers. At the same time, you feel guilty because you are here enjoying the good stuff when other people are not." Tony remarked.
"I'm always telling my group not to feel guilty. That we are here for a reason, and we should make the best of the life we have." Too bad Steve doesn't always take his own advice.
"It seems you actually know what you're talking about sometimes." Tony smiled at him.
"Then you won't get mad when I suggest we do the rest of the questions." Because Steve actually enjoyed this conversation with Tony, and he wanted to keep it going.
"Now?" Tony asked.
"Well, after you put some pajamas on. Those pants cannot be comfortable." Steve didn't mean to stare at Tony's crotch area; it just kinda happened. Let's just say everything was very well-tailored.
"You just want me out of my pants." Yes.
"I just want you to be comfortable," Steve responded instead. He's pretty sure he was blushing, but hopefully, Tony couldn't see in the bedroom's low light.
"I'm sure you just want me comfortable. Lucky for you, I stopped sleeping in the nude once I became responsible for a small child." And that's the second time Steve thought about a naked Tony in the last 10 minutes. "It seems like every other night, there was a monster under her bed, and she always comes to me after she caught Hunter with his special friend. I banned sleepovers after that. Although now I know that friend was Simmons."
"They are together?" Steve asked, surprised. But he really shouldn't be. Steve knows Hunter comes to the compound on his day off most weeks. He just didn't realize they were more than friends.
"You are so oblivious, pumpkin patch." Steve was well aware of that at this point.
"I'm going to put on something comfortable and then be prepared to bare your soul to me." Surprisingly Steve was looking forward to that.
Xxxxx
"OK, we are still skipping question 13 because you're raising a kid that can see the future, and you really wish she didn't," Tony said as he slid under the covers of the bed with a Stark pad in hand. If he was going to share a bed with Steve, he was going to be comfortable. It's already a little too cold for October, and Pepper hasn't switched the heat on yet. If he's been fantasizing about snuggling with Steve for a decade, that's nobody else's business. He was too stressed out during the Ultron fiasco to actually enjoy it.
"It's more like I wish it didn't hurt her. Besides, I know that she just draws possible futures, and things change. I try not to read too much into it. It's better not knowing." Steve remarked.
"True. OK, question 14 is, have you wanted to do something for a really long time? If so, what?" Kissing you. Tony thought as soon as he read the question, but he would not say that one out loud. That would make things awkward. They're trying to work away from awkwardness, which has been the perpetual state of their relationship since 2012.
"If I say undoing what Thanos did, will you get angry?"
"No, I understand why you want that. I will say fix things with us. The reason why I waited so long was I thought it would be harder than what it actually is," Tony confessed.
"Is it easier knowing that there's a version of us that went through Siberia and eventually overcame that?" Steve asked.
"They didn't overcome it. They dealt with it, and we didn't." Tony regrets that so much at the moment.
"They didn't have to deal with losing half the universe."
"Not if we can help it," Tony said with determination in his voice. "OK, next question, and it is apparently the opposite of what we were talking about earlier. Name your greatest accomplishments?"
"Raising the girls. Skinny asthmatic me never thought he would be a father. I had an asthma attack the first time I had a handjob." Tony was glad he got under the covers because little Tony was excited and a little horrified. "The fact I preferred that over the blind dates that Bucky always set me up with also had me doubtful."
"I want to know more about this story, but at the same time, I'm horrified for your well-being," Tony remarked.
"Good to know you worry about my safety. So what's the greatest thing you accomplished?" Steve asked.
"That would be Morgan. This is saying something because I invented clean energy and discovered a new element." He looks over to see Steve open his mouth wide in shock. "OK, theoretically Howard discovered it, but I made it."
"I heard you made a particle accelerator in your garage. Although I didn't know you made a new element."
"Basement, although my garage was in the basement. I guess technically, it was true. How did you even know about that?" Tony asked, surprised.
"Coulson told May, and she told me. They were best friends, and they told each other all their secrets." Steve explained with a sad smile. That told Tony that Steve was well aware his wife was still in love with the fallen agent.
"That leads into the next question, kumquat. What do you value in a friendship?" Tony asked.
"I know you're going to say honesty."
"Also not selling my life story to the tabloids. Or making sex tapes behind my back. Which is apparently a whole lot easier now. You can even leak your own dick pics." Tony joked.
"I'm never going to live that down." Steve placed his head in his hands.
"Never. Although say the word, and I'll create a virus that will attack anybody sending those pics around. I can't get rid of it, but I can make people not want to share it," Tony said seriously, which made Steve smile.
"That right there is what I value in a friendship."
"Viciousness in computer skills?" Tony joked because he wasn't quite sure what Steve meant.
"Someone that will always have my back. You offering to create a computer virus to keep people from looking at that picture I accidentally posted to Instagram tells me you do have my back. I appreciate that. Even if I don't want you to do anything that would get you in trouble with the Accords."
"That's important too. Also, I'm definitely going to have to look at how the other timeline was able to get rid of the old Accords."
"If you could get rid of the part that requires me to register my children because they have superpowers, that would be nice. I'm afraid they're going to end up in one of the camps." He knew Steve was still worried about that even with the new administration. They were dismantling the mechanisms of the Ross administration as quickly as they could but not fast enough.
"I promise to make sure vice president platypus does get rid of that provision. Let's go to a happier place and name your favorite happy memory." This had to move them to safer ground.
"The day that May and I officially adopted Robin and Kamala."
"The whole family looked so happy that day." Natasha sent him pictures. Tony still has all of them.
"I think it was the happiest day I had since the snap. So what is your most treasured memory?" Steve asked.
"Holding Morgan for the first time." Tony smiled softly. "She was so perfect, and I knew instantly I would do anything to protect her. I will never love anybody as much as I love her."
"Although they are not biologically my children, I feel that way about Robin and Kamala. I love them so much." Steve confessed.
"Biology means very little. Howard wasn't a good father. The best thing I can say about him is he never hit me. Mom tried her best. However, Jarvis and Ana really raised me along with Aunt Peggy and Uncle Daniel. They were my family. I know they felt the same way about me."
"You have a point. What's the next question?" Steve asked.
"OK, we are skipping question 18. I feel like we accidentally covered our terrible memories with our regrets earlier," Tony said as he showed Steve the pad.
"Agreed. Also, I don't want to do question 19."
"Because you've seen grisly drawings of my demise?"
"Not all the time, occasionally she draws the opposite. Robin drew a picture of the two of us being old and just hanging out on the couch just last week. I mentioned it before, but I didn't give you details."
"I like that possibility. Although in regards to question 19, there was a time I thought I was not going to live much longer." Tony told him.
"The Palladium poisoning incident?" Steve asked. Thank God he didn't ask about Afghanistan. It's been nearly 15 years, and he still can't really talk about what happened there.
"Yes. I acted so recklessly. I gave my company away to my best friend. Then I got really drunk and wrecked my house. I should've gone into rehab after that but didn't." Tony regrets that. Maybe if he was sober and working through his Howard issues when he first met Steve, things would have gone a lot better. It couldn't have gone worse.
"I think there's a difference when it's a terminal illness. I always thought I was going to die young, so I wanted to make the most out of every moment so I wouldn't have any regrets." Steve confessed. Tony had no idea he felt that way.
"Did you?"
"I had a ton when I put that plane into the water." Steve acknowledged.
"Aren't you happy you had a second chance?"
"Yes. I would have hated never meeting you." There was that soft smile again.
"OK, 20 feels like a rehash of 16, especially the way you answered it, so let's move on," Tony suggested.
"It's a little different," Steve argued.
"But I still feel like being there is the most critical part," Tony answered.
"And I wasn't there when you needed me." The regret in Steve's voice almost broke Tony's heart.
"Because I was an asshole. I thought we covered this? I'm willing to acknowledge that mistakes were made on all of our parts." Tony made so many mistakes, several related to not getting sober fast enough.
"I think we're going to have to have this conversation a lot because we have a lot to work through." Wasn't that the fucking truth.
"Do you think we will ever get to the same place as other us?" Tony asked.
"Happily engaged with a ton of adopted teenagers?" Steve retorted.
"OK, maybe not that far but in a stable relationship. I mean, you're already married to someone else."
"Who promised she would sign the divorce papers the moment I meet somebody and fall in love. She joked about already having a lawyer picked out." Tony's not sure how to take that, so he decides to go to the next question. Apparently, the universe, or at least Laura, hates him. God, this was a lot.
"Well, that takes us into question 21. Do love and affection have a role in your life? I kind of want to know this, especially because you're in a… I don't want to call it a marriage of convenience." Because there wasn't anything really convenient about that relationship.
"I saw those growing up, and this is not that. I love May. I really do, but it's not the right type of love." Steve tried to explain.
"The English language really screwed us over with only one word for love. Other languages do better."
"That's true." Steve sighed.
"But I get it. I think I have that type of love with Pepper, especially now that we've settled into co-parenthood." Tony explained.
"I feel stupid for not realizing you guys were not together for the last five years. I should've seen it." Steve was currently sporting his wounded puppy dog expression.
"Don't beat yourself up about that. We've been very good at keeping up the façade."
"But we do playdates all the time."
"Where you ignore me and eat like six churros." Tony shot back.
"I have a fast metabolism." Tony couldn't help but snort at that.
"I guess love is playing a big role in our lives right now because we wouldn't be trying to undo what Thanos did if we didn't love people."
"Do you think we're doing this for humanity or for the people that we love? Because it's going to be chaos when we bring everybody back at the same time." Steve pointed out.
"OK, point. We can't just snap our fingers and undo everything. We are going to have to plan that part. I'll add it to my problem-solving list." He will because Steve was right. They can't just bring half of the universe back. It would be just as chaotic as when they left.
"And I want to pretend I'm all altruistic and I'm in this for humanity, but I've always been a selfish prick. I want Morgan to meet Happy and Peter."
"You're not a selfish prick for wanting that," Steve reassured him.
"I know you want Robin to meet your BFF. Did you know that your James is dating Robin's mom in the other timeline? Now I'm extra sad that she died before the snap. It was another wasted life just like Agent Rodriguez." Tony never met the woman before Thanos killed her. Apparently, she's one of other Tony's best friends per the notes he read from Friday.
"What? How did that happen?" Steve asked.
"They ended up next-door neighbors in Wakanda, and they connected. They are actually engaged, but they're waiting until after other us tied the knot. I will let you read Friday's relationship breakdown on the way home tomorrow. Maybe after we take the kids to breakfast?" Tony asked.
"That would be good. I'm also curious about how that happened. I will always want to see Bucky happy, even if it's not my Bucky." Steve said sadly.
"We definitely have to make sure the snap doesn't happen there. I am interested in seeing what a wedding between us would look like. I bet there will be stars and American flags everywhere." Tony joked.
"Because you would be the one who would put them up," Steve remarked. "You would turn the wedding into a Fourth of July party even if it was taking place at Christmas."
"Maybe. I think I like the next question better. We are supposed to alternate sharing positive characteristics of one another." This one didn't seem like an emotional landmine waiting to go off unless Steve can't come up with any positive qualities about him.
"How many are we supposed to share?" Steve asked.
"Five, but let's just do three." Because Tony is worried about Steve being able to name five positive qualities about him.
"No, we can do five. My first one for you is you're a good dad." Steve even gave him his super sweet smile again.
"And I'm so happy you made that my first good quality because I'm proud of that. Howard was awful, but I had Jarvis and Daniel. You're also a good dad, and you chose to be a dad. I just got my sperm magically restored."
"My dad left us and moved to Nevada, so DNA has very little to do with it," Steve remarked darkly. Tony wished he knew about Steve's daddy issues a long time ago. It could've been a bonding moment.
"OK, definitely a positive quality, but I want more. Tell me what you love about me." Oh shit, he didn't mean to say that out loud. "I mean, tell me what's great about me. I say stupid shit when I'm sleep-deprived. I think I got about six hours in the last three days because of trying to figure out how to do all of this." When in doubt, blame sleep deprivation.
"Which leads to your second good quality; you're very mission-oriented," Steve said, ignoring his Freudian slip. Bless him.
"Which leads to my number one bad quality, which is I forget to do important things like eating and showering when I'm in the zone. Sometimes I think Hunter is more my nanny than Morgan's. I remember to feed Morgan, but I forget to eat myself." Tony joked.
"You're supposed to eat when the kids eat," Steve remarked.
"Yes, but I'm not always the biggest fan of cheese sticks and orange slices. That was all she wanted to eat for like two weeks back in July."
"At least she got a lot of vitamin C and calcium. Robin went through that phase. Heaven help you if you accidentally get the wrong cheese stick." Steve added.
"Good mozzarella must have some salt and the right fat content." Tony snarked.
"Can we make one of our other good qualities we have excellent taste in food?"
"Yes. Am I allowed to say one of your good qualities is your ass? I regret that wasn't the body part that ended up on Instagram." He loves that ass.
"I think it would've been less embarrassing. I should've never let May talk me into those pictures." At least he now knows it was Steve. Also, May is a total badass. And he adores her. Tony should be jealous, but he's not. He deeply respects the woman.
"You did turn it into a PSA against cyberbullying," Tony said instead of giving his praises for Melinda. "It's better than those videos you did before. Why did you do those videos?" Tony has been curious about that since the first time Peter mentioned it.
"I may have been blackmailed into it," Steve said sheepishly.
"How could anybody have blackmail on you back then? Before the Instagram oops incident. It's also hard to blackmail somebody with something that's already out there."
"I slept with a married Congressional staffer. Although I didn't realize he was married when I slept with him." OK, that doesn't match Tony's Boy Scout image of Steve back then. Although the guy that took dick pics for his wife definitely would've made a mistake like that. Maybe it's best for the world that Steve is currently married-ish.
"OK, we both have made some very bad hook-up decisions and have learned from it," Tony remarked just as he received a pop-up message on his Stark pad. It was from Friday. She's communicating through pop-up messages because he has her on silent mode right now. She's also not completely installed in Pepper's house because she won't let him. He wasn't expecting to read that message.
"Friday just wanted to let me know that apparently my other self was almost murdered by the estranged wife of that poor hook-up choice. She targeted other Tony because the wife assumed he was the Avenger that the staffer screwed, not you because you're all apple pies and straightness." Tony couldn't help but snort at that. "Apparently, she tried to murder me with sunflower seeds at a fundraiser. Your wife was posing as my date, BTW." Steve started laughing hysterically at that point.
"I should not have laughed at that. The thought of you dying makes me want to throw up, but sunflower seeds? I think I would've liked to have seen pictures of you and May on a date."
"Laughter is necessary. This is one of those too absurd not to laugh situations. Also, I am totally open for a threesome." Tony remarked.
"What is the next question?" Steve's blush was telling Tony that he was obviously seriously considering that proposition and did not want to discuss his answer at the moment. That was promising.
"Oh God, I hate this thing," Tony said as soon as he read the next question. "Do you want to talk about our screwed-up childhoods? Because I don't want to talk about our screwed-up childhoods. Your dad was an abusive piece of shit. My father was just not there because he was too busy with SI, shield, and everything else." Along with whatever booze was on-premises, but he doesn't have the energy to get into Howard's alcoholism.
"And searching for me was part of everything else," Steve said sadly.
"I like" love "you, so I made peace with that." He's forgiven Howard for that because he doesn't want to think of a world without Steve.
"I guess if you were to change anything about your childhood, you would want Howard to actually be there?" Steve asked. Tony nodded his head in agreement.
"As well as being sober." OK, so he is going to get into this a little. "It's why I tried so hard for Morgan to get clean. It took a few attempts, but I got there." Now he is going to help Simmons get there, hopefully. He feels like he owes that to the universe.
"And I'm proud of you. I don't want to talk about my family either. Although I do regret never making it to Nevada to meet my sister," Steve remarked regretfully.
"When we fix this, that's the first thing you're going to do," Tony said, squeezing his hand. "I'll plan a big reunion in Vegas. It will be interesting to hit the table sober for once. There is also family-friendly stuff for everyone. I've never done any of it before, but there's a first time for everything."
"I'll take you up on that after getting my daughter back to her biological parents." Steve looked like he wanted to cry when he said that.
"No. That's going to be Kamala's choice. Maybe you and her biological family will be splitting custody for a while, but you have to give her a choice. She 16. She gets to choose who she lives with."
"Even if it breaks me?" Steve asked, almost on the verge of tears.
"Always, unfortunately. OK, this is the last question for tonight because I feel like it will go downhill from here."
"Oh God, what's the question?" Steve asked, concerned.
"We are supposed to talk about relationships with our moms. Which is almost something I feel like I can deal with, at least compared to talking about my father. I think it's the same for you." There is less baggage and trauma there compared to everything with Howard. But it's still painful to think about Maria.
"I'm glad. I don't remember the man that well."
"It's better that you don't remember that shit," Tony said, squeezing Steve's hand again. He almost wanted to reach over and hugged the man.
"I definitely have a better relationship with Maria. I'm trying to model my parenting style more on how she treated me than what Howard did. You know, along with all my dad figures. Although I regret that she'll never get to meet Morgan." That was his number four regret.
"I was close with my mom. We had to be. We couldn't survive as long as we did otherwise. However, sometimes I wish she would've told me the truth instead of lying to me." Steve confessed.
"It was necessary though, back then," Tony remarked.
"I realize that now. You will lie to keep your kids safe."
"You married someone to keep your kids safe." Tony completely realizes that was the real point of Steve's marriage to May, even if they did have sex.
"Robin was May's daughter first. Pauly made her promise with her last breath that she would take care of Robin."
"And the same thing happened with Agent Khan?" Tony asked.
"Yes," Steve answered simply.
"That makes sense because she's a good mom even if she said no to coming with us," Tony remarked.
"She's going to come up after our meeting with the other timeline. She just wanted to go over the Shield reports first." That makes sense.
"Is your wife going to be OK with us sharing a bed? Because I'm OK going to the couch." Even if it is a friendship with sex type of marriage, Tony doesn't want to upset things.
"I think she would be OK with it, but you can ask her." For some reason, Steve was blushing again. There had to be a story there.
"Friday, sweetie, can you send agent May-Rogers a message asking if she's OK that I'm sharing a bed with her hubby because Hunter is gross," Tony asked as he switched her out of silent mode.
"She says it's fine; just use condoms." At Friday's response, Tony deeply regretted switching her out of silent mode. "Also, she told me to tell Mr. May-Rogers that she packed lube, condoms, scarves, and the pleasure seeker 3000 in your toiletry bag for use this evening."
"Tell her I found everything when unpacking. I'll text her in the morning."
"She says she wants details but no pictures because she doesn't want you to accidentally post them on Instagram again." Tony couldn't help but snicker at that. Although if May was packing him toys and condoms, he definitely had May's permission for a nice snuggle. Even if a part of his brain wanted to test out that toy on Steve, they were nowhere near that yet.
"You have a very interesting marriage," Tony remarked.
"I've been told the best marriages are interesting," Steve said as he turned the lamp next to his bed off.
"Very true."
"Although it's probably a good time for us to actually get some sleep," Steve suggested, still blushing.
"This is also true," Tony said, cutting off his own lamp and letting Steve take away his Stark pad. Otherwise, he would keep reading the history of the other timeline. Which was definitely not conducive to sleep. Although accidentally falling into Steve's chest was. If he woke up wrapped around Steve, nobody needed to know.
To be continued…