My Life's Stranger Than Yours
Happosai's Hectic Chase! The Anything Goes Gambit!
Saiyaman clenched his wavering fist as he and his comrades glared daggers at a sniggering Happosai who was bouncing yet another Fire Burst ball in his hand.
"Well kiddos, its your move," he taunted.
"When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna…!"
Ranma's threat was cut off by Happosai snapping his fingers and everyone scrambling once Erasa once again pulled her top down. Though Gohan and Ranma had the courtesy to look away this time, Sharpner was obstructed by the girls. This little mess gave Happosai the opening to toss the explosive. Though before he could flee, he narrowly avoided a thin beam, courtesy of a downed, but still conscious Pantyhose Taro.
"You're not going any…!"
Taro's threat was stifled by Happosai's bomb exploding, prompting Gohan to pound his head into the ground.
"Thank you Great Saiyaman! You truly are my hero!" Happosai called as he bounded off towards a nearby tree.
"You ain't getting away!" Ranma leapt after him only to also be halted by Gohan's fist as a second fire burst ball went off somewhere in midair.
"S-Sorry…" Gohan apologized as he gently let a reeling Ranma down.
"The hell…did you punch me for…!? Thought you were only hittin' Pantyhose Ta-!"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"
Taro and Ranma instantly went to blows while the others took a moment to recuperate.
"Well…glad to see he's feeling better," Akane droned.
"Why did he attack Ranma though?" asked Erasa.
"Happosai ordered me to attack Taro and his friends, so I guess that just means anyone he was working with for that trap."
Gohan's explanation drew a touch of concern from the girls. So far, Gohan's only attacked Taro and Ranma…but if Gohan's theory was right and the trigger were to be pulled when they were alone with Gohan…would that mean…?
"Ohohohoho!"
Happosai's taunting laughter echoed across the clearing as he bounced between the trees, putting everyone on edge. Gohan was certain he could catch him, but was hesitant due to the Fire Burst Balls. Even if he did catch him, if another ball exploded, the spell from the bun would likely force him to release the old lecher anyway, not to mention the risk of hurting the others.
"Guys, I think we should fall back and rethink this," said Gohan.
"Not a chance! I'm not leaving without that form!" snapped Taro.
"Oh, you mean this form?"
All eyes turned towards the voice's direction before witnessing several scraps of paper flutter from the tree's leaves. Taro's expression quickly fell to one of despair. "N-no…NO!" Falling to his knees, a hysteric Taro grasped the scraps, tears streaming down his face.
"…And now the monster guy is crying…" Sharpner deadpanned.
"That's what you get for crossing me boy, but don't think we're done here!" Happosai taunted. "You whelps aren't going anywhere until I get my prize!".
"What prize?" asked Sharpner.
"Later, but first things first, we need a distraction," Gohan ordered.
"Got it. Erasa, flash him again!"
Sharpner quickly took two hits to the face from Akane and Videl before Erasa cried out "I'm not gonna-!"
She was silenced by a pair of snapping fingers courtesy of Ranma. The moment her shirt fell, an elated Happosai leapt from his hiding spot in the trees and launched himself straight at her bust…only to then be met with a fist to the back of the head and planted straight into the hard pavement.
"Hehe, works every time," Ranma snickered.
"Raaaaan-!"
"You can punish him for that later Akane. Right now, we should retreat!" said Gohan.
"Why? The freak's right there, let's just-!" Ranma halted his thoughts as a familiarly menacing aura began emanating from Happosai's collapsed form.
"On second thought…SAOTOME FINAL ATTA-WHOA!"
Ranma yelped as everyone darted off, Akane grabbing and dragging him by his pigtail. Gohan hung back with Pantyhose Taro who was hysterically trying to piece the paper back together.
"Come on!"
"Not yet…just another minute or so and I'll have it all…!"
"You're…getting...NOTHING!" Happosai growled as he finally managed to pull himself free. "Sorry boy, but all your dreams are gonna go BOOM!"
Happosai's implicative words drew a tinge of worry from Gohan. "Dammit!" In a rush, Gohan grabbed Taro by the collar and blasted off just as Happosai lobbed a Fire Burst ball at them. Thanks to Gohan's inhuman speed, he was able to get out of earshot when it exploded. Though Pantyhose Taro was spared the indignity of getting sucker punched, the name change form was quickly reduced to ashes.
The explosion's flames flared up as Happosai, his own aura burning, made a bold proclamation. "You younglings can run, but before this day is that photo will be mine, MINE!"
]
Moments later, Gohan with Taro in hand finally reunited with the others on the outskirts of the park to find Ranma face down in the ground with a large smoking lump on his head, Sharpener seated beside him with a handprint on his face, and all three girls glaring at them, their arms crossed.
"Uhhhh…what'd we miss?" Gohan stammered.
"Nothing much. Just getting Ranma back for that stunt he pulled a moment ago," said Akane.
"And Sharpner for giving him the idea in the first place!" Erasa added.
"I mean…it worked didn't it?" said Sharpner.
Erasa raised her hand to smack Sharpner again, but was halted by Gohan grabbing her by the wrist. "Okay…as much as I'm sure these two deserved what you girls did to them, I think we should focus."
"Focus on what!?" snapped a revitalized Pantyhose Taro. "That treacherous old shit destroyed the form and there's no chance in Hell he'll change my name now!"
Erasa and Sharpner paused at Taro's hysteric declaration before the latter exclaimed, "Wait, what!?"
"Do you guys think you could give us the full details on what exactly is going on here?" Erasa added.
The fighters took a moment to give a quick rundown on Pantyhose Taro's desire to get his name changed and their plan to fake a bargain with Happosai and put him away for good afterwards.
"Huh…you'd think all this BS would be super excessive just to get your name legally changed, but I don't think I can blame ya, 'Pantyhose'," Sharpner sneered.
In an instant, Taro drove his fist into Sharpner's gut. When he doubled over, he grabbed him by the collar and glaring daggers straight into his eyes, he growled, "Do. Not. Call me. That!"
"Karma's bitter Sharpner," Erasa grinned.
"Back on topic, what do we do now? Our plan was good on paper, but everything possible went wrong
"Well, only thing left to do now is catch the old freak and put him away for good."
"You will do NO such thing! Not until that filthy little bastard changes my name!" Taro declined.
"Whatever you say Pantyhose Ichiro."
As Taro was about to lunge at Ranma, his attention shifted to a snickering Sharpner. "Is something funny blondie!?"
"Nope…," Sharpner clammed up.
"If you guys are finished, we need a new plan here!" Videl snapped.
"We already have one," Ranma interjected. "Give him a taste of his own medicine, or in this case, his own buns."
Akane quickly perked up. "Right! It worked with Shampoo last time."
"But how are you guys supposed to do that?" asked Erasa.
Adding his two cents, Sharpner said. "Little bastard is pretty damn squirmy. I doubt you'll be able to catch him, let alone force a bun in his mouth,"
A cocky smirk grew onto Ranma's face. "Chasin' him's a pain in the ass but it ain't nothin' new. Plus we could always just lure him in if all else fails."
Erasa quickly covered her chest. "I swear, if you're thinking about using my boobs as bait again, Videl will kick your ass!"
Ranma snickered with a sarcastic, "Right…."
"Okay first, Erasa, don't use me as a threat. Second, what do you mean, 'Right'?"
"Guys! Focus!" Akane interjected.
"Oh no worries, he wasn't planning on using you as bait. In fact…" Taro uncapped a bottle of water before squirting it onto an unsuspecting Ranma's head. "…he was just getting ready to volunteer himself."
"No the hell I wasn't!" Ranma snapped at a snickering Taro.
"Would you two break it up!" Akane intervened.
"Well as I was saying, I didn't mean me or Erasa here, I meant…!" As Ranma turned back to Erasa and Sharpner only to find the blonde duo completely stunned silence. "What?"
"Oh! That's right, they don't know about Ranma's curse, do they?" asked Gohan.
"Wait…curse?"
The group quickly explained how the same magic that turns Pantyhose Taro into a monster also makes Ranma swap genders and the pair took to it surprisingly well. After everything they've seen like that giant bug monster (among other things), this was relatively low key.
"Now that everyone's up to speed, can I say my plan now?" an irritated Ranma crossed her arms.
"One question," said Sharpner.
Ranma rolled her eyes. "What?"
"Are those actually real?"
Everyone stumbled over at Sharpner's question.
"We're in the middle of a situation here and that's what you choose to focus on!?" Ranma snapped.
"Not to mention its rude to ask a lady something so personal!" Saiyaman added.
"But…he's not really a girl right so…is it really?" Sharpner tried to defend.
Ranma opened her mouth to retort but instead yelped as a soft pair of hands grasped her chest from behind.
"They feel real enough to me," said Erasa.
"Get offa me!" Ranma shoved Erasa back into a disapproving Videl.
"Really Erasa? Really!?"
"What? I'm a girl, and I just wanted to know how big they were. Besides, this makes us even for making me do that in front of the old man," Erasa argued.
'Why does that sound so familiar?' Videl pondered."
Ranma rolled his eyes. "Fine, you got me there…though to answer your question, they're smaller than yours but still bigger than Akane and Videl," he replied rather proudly, brandishing his feminine assets.
As the aforementioned girls pounded Ranma in the head, a flushed Gohan could only watch the scene play out in bewilderment. 'Should…should I be listening to this?'
"You can all gawk at the crossdresser later, for now, just let him speak." Taro interjected.
"I ain't a crossdresser!"
The two threw punches at each other, but both were halted by Gohan, catching both of fists. "Getting back on topic, what I think Ranma meant is he'll still come after us for the picture." he interjected.
Taro paused before he and the girls exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I almost forgot about that!"
"What picture?" asked a confused Erasa and Sharpner.
"The…prize he mentioned before," Gohan answered.
Ranma nodded. "There ain't no chance he won't come chasing after us for the thing…frankly, I'm surprised he hasn't shown up already."
Unbeknownst to the young fighters, Happosai had gotten distracted by the sudden appearance of a trio of young women. As his mind thought back to Erasa, a sickening grin arose on his face.
"So we have bait if we need it, but we still need to steal the buns from him," noted Videl.
"You don't think he'd be willing to just trade the photo for the buns do you?" Gohan grinned.
"Gohan, be serious here!" Videl scolded.
Ranma and Akane paused contemplatively before the former replied, "He is stupid enough to fall for it in the right circumstances, so we'll make that a backup plan."
"Back on track, how do we steal the buns?"
"The old fashioned way!" Ranma proclaimed.
"Ranma, get real. Do you really think you can just swipe them off of him?" asked Akane.
"Maybe, but I won't have to if he just gives one to me."
"I thought you said that was the backup plan."
"I said trading was the backup plan. I'm talking about the old-fashioned way," Ranma tugged at his shirt.
"Soooooo…you are gonna use your boobs as bait after all?" asked Sharpner. His answer came in the form of Ranma, kicking him in the face.
"Ranma, even Happosai wouldn't just hand you one, even if you decide to flash him."
"I'm not gonna…!" Ranma sighed. "You know what, never mind. You'll get it when you see it."
Akane and Pantyhose Taro both wore a disbelieving look but held their tongues. Given the circumstances, Ranma's plan was currently their only plan so they had to follow his lead.
"Well, if you guys have gotten everything figured out, then I think Sharpner and I are gonna bow out," Erasa shakily proclaimed.
"If you want, I could fly you guys home. Hate to say it but…I'd probably be a liability at this point," Gohan shamefully offered.
"Sad but true." Taro was then met with an elbow to the ribs
"If that's on the table, then can you drop me off at a station instead? I can get home myself after I fill up," said Sharpner.
"Sure."
As the two bystanders clung onto Gohan, Videl halted their ascent and asked, "What are you going to do afterwards?"
"I'll stay airborne and see if I can help from the air. It's probably best to stay out of earshot of any explosions."
As soon as the words left Gohan's mouth, Videl perked up. "Wait a second…. I think I have an idea myself!"
"What idea?"
Videl took her blonde friend by the hand before taking to the sky. "Sorry Erasa, but I still need you for a bit. Gohan, come with me. You three can go after Happosai and we'll join you later."
"Wait, 'we'?"
Gohan and Erasa barely had time to ask before Videl shot off into the sky, Saiyaman in pursuit.
The three remaining fighters could only watch them disappear in bewilderment. "What do you think she's planning?" asked Akane.
Ranma shrugged. "No idea, but you heard what she said. Let's find the old freak!"
"Right!"
The trio then dashed off in a dusty burst leaving a flabbergasted Sharpner alone. "Fine…guess I'm walking to the station." As soon as Sharpner turned to leave, he was unceremoniously hoisted up by the back of his shirt.
"What the-!?"
"Sorry Sharpner, but I remembered there's a station by Videl's place."
"That's great but watch the shirt Gohan!"
With Sharpner in hand, Gohan soared off to catch back up with the girls.
]
In the midst of Satan City, a jovial Happosai skipped about the streets humming to himself. "Well now, who'd guess that I'd be able to salvage such a chaotic day? As much as it pains me to see that ingrate, Pantyhose Taro turn traitor, I can't be mad after the massive haul I got."
After Ranma and the gang escaped, Happosai had retaken up his previous guise of a friendly, old man sharing homemade buns and unfortunately, had already amassed a crowd of willing samplers. Thankfully, a number of them being young men and children had urged Happosai to turn them away, but that didn't prevent a number of young women from falling victim to the 'stripping snap'.
Once the women had shed themselves of their clothes it was easy pickings for the old lecher to swipe them and make his escape.
Taking a seat on bench, Happosai took a breath. "Hmmmmm…maybe I should just call it a day. I may not have gotten that coveted photo, but the amount of fresh…juicy melons I've seen today more than makes up for it!"
Pulling out a capsule, Happosai let out a contemplative hum. "Then again…I can't let those brats get too uppity in their attempts to fool me, plus I still have Slinging Man under my spell…ah the heck with it! I'll make those brats pay! Once I've had my fun with Supper Man…." Happosai trailed off as the image of Taro and Saiyaman crumpled on the ground played in his mind, quickly followed by the sight of Videl, Akane, Erasa, and Female Ranma all losing their tops.
"Ohohohoho…I can't wait!"
Happosai's solitary laughter paused as a conspicuous blur whizzed past him before settling itself on the edge of the bench. Said blur was revealed to be a girl with long dark hair in a ponytail, clad in athletic attire, fanning herself with her hand.
'Ohoho! This day just keeps getting better!' Happosai inwardly guffawed.
"Phew…that should do it for today…now where's that café…?" Turning back, seemingly looking for something, the girl finally noticed Happosai. "Oh! Excuse me Gramps, but could you lend me a hand, I'm a little bit lost."
"Oho, it'd be my pleasure, young lady. What can I do ya for?"
"I'm just winding down my daily jog and I really need to get some lunch now. I remember there was a café somewhere on my route that looked good, but now I can't seem to find it. You wouldn't happen to be able to point me in the right direction, would you?"
A glimmer in his eye, Happosai chuckled. "Ohohoho. Though I regrettably can't say I know where that humble café is, but I think I can help your lunch problem." Popping a capsule, he presented her a basket. "Might I interest you in one of my buns? I've been sharing quite a few with the good folks around town, but I can definitely spare one for a pretty young lass like you."
When the girl took a look at the basket, she began to sweat. The appearance of the buns wasn't an issue, but what was an issue was the number of them, or rather the number of it. There was only a single bun left, a fact that did not go unnoticed by the pair of onlookers atop the building behind them.
"Well…that makes things…a bit more difficult," said Akane.
"Difficult, no. Perilous, possibly," replied Pantyhose Taro. "The goal remains the same. All this means is that we'll only have one shot, so that damned cross-dresser better not screw this up."
Akane glanced at the thermos besides her, hoping she wouldn't have to use it just yet. Knowing Pantyhose Taro, he'd do something rash if Ranma took too long.
]
'How the Hell did this damned freak get rid of so many buns so quickly!?' Ranma inwardly snapped. 'Whatever, I just gotta make this count.' Putting on his best demure girl face, Ranma coyly replied, "Oh Gramps, you've only got one bun left, I couldn't possibly-!"
"Oh nonsense dear girl! These buns were meant to be shared with lovely young ladies like you!" Happosai
"Well then…can we split it?" Ranma asked, flittering her eyebrows.
Happosai crossed his arms with a contemplative look on his face. "Tempting, but I must insist you take the whole thing. A culinary work such as this is best eaten whole."
Ranma sighed. They were only going in circles at this point. He knew getting Happosai to eat the bun willingly would be nigh impossible, but they had to at least try. Time for Plan B.
"Well Gramps, if you insist…" Hesitantly, Ranma took the bun before attempting to stroll away. "Thanks for the snack!"
"Whoa, whoa, don't leave just yet. Be a friend and tell your ol' gramps how it tastes," Happosai bounded in front of Ranma, blocking his path. "I put quite a lot of time and heart into buns, so I enjoy getting feedback."
"Well, if you say so." With a conspicuous smirk, Ranma began tossing the bun in his hand, gradually getting higher and higher with each toss. Happosai on the sidelines, eagerly watched the bun rise and fall, getting more and anxious with each throw. Finally Ranma threw it as high as he could see it and opened his mouth. Happosai said the buns were best eaten whole, so Ranma was going to hold him to it.
As the bun fell, Happosai's mouth gradually opened in vapid anticipation, just what they wanted. Subtly, Ranma pulled his arm back, seemingly poised to strike. In that instance, Akane quickly realized Ranma's plan and crossed her fingers. If he was planning that then this could be their one chance. With an open palm, Ranma struck forth and-
"S'cuse me, comin' through!"
A small…pink(?) blur whizzed past Ranma and Happosai. Before they could identify the diminutive figure, a loud squeal echoed across the street, followed by a female voice calling, "Wait! Please come back!"
While Hapoposai dashed aside to avoid the large swine that came barreling through, an off guard Ranma was knocked aside. Meanwhile, Akane and Taro above could only freak out as the plan seemed to fall apart.
"What was that!?" snapped Akane.
"It looked like a girl riding a big pig," Taro noted.
"A girl on a…?" 'Akari? Why is she here?'
"Never mind that, what became of the crossdresser and the old man!?"
Glancing down, the two could see Ranma sprawled across the bench and Happosai reclaim the falling bun.
"Dammit, he's got the bun back! Enough of this, I'll get down there and force it down his throat!"
"No wait!" Akane quickly tugged him back, but Taro tried to shove her away. With her considerable strength, Akane was able to counter Taro's attempts to escape, but the impatient Taro continued to attempt his preemptive attack. Their tug of war would end when a daring Taro switched strategies and pulled her towards him causing her to tumble until they hit the ground, inadvertently knocking over Akane's thermos.
The moment the duo realized their blunder, they both went stone still as things just got worse.
]
Ranma finally recovered just as Happosai slowly approached him, bun in hand. Reflexively, he tensed up. He wasn't sure what just happened, but if Happosai had the bun back, then surely it means the plan failed. To his surprise though, Happosai extended his hand, bun and all.
"Pardon me young lady, but it seems you almost dropped the bun when that little 'accident' happened. Good thing I was fast enough to catch it for you," said a jovial Happosai.
Ranma nearly tumbled out of his disguise in relief and disbelief. He'd worry about whatever knocked them over later. Right now, he wasn't going to squander this second chance.
"Thanks a ton Gramps!" Ranma reached out to take the bun again, but just as he grasped it, he was struck in the head by something falling, followed by a heated splash.
"Gah-! That's hot!" Ranma shook out his hair, attempting to cool himself off before freezing as a menacing aura flared up behind him.
"Raaaanmm-!"
"Nope!" Ranma preemptively struck Happosai, kicking the angry, off-guard elder away. The moment Ranma was able to mentally recover however, he realized his fatal mistake. "Oh no, THE BUN!"
Before the realization could linger, the laced foodstuff dropped promptly into Ranma's hand. "Huh…what do you know. Good luck for once."
Looking upwards, Ranma raised his hand to show Akane and Taro that he'd procured the bun, much to their relief. Taking Akane by the waist, Pantyhose Taro slowly descended to ground level.
"That was too close," said Akane.
"No thanks to you ruining the crossdresser's disguise."
"That was your-!"
"I AIN'T A CROSSDRESSER!"
Before Ranma and Taro could attack each other, the trio flinched as a familiar aura flared up from further up the street. Everyone's training with the Turtle and Crane Alumni helped them sense chi from further away, but they didn't need sharper senses to feel Happosai's anger closing in on them.
"On second thought, we'll finish this later."
"Agreed!"
The three teens braced themselves as the visage of a furious demon shot forth from up the street. "You damned kids shan't spoil my fun today!"
'Videl, whatever you guys are doing, please hurry!'
]
Having dropped Sharpner off at a nearby gas station, the remaining Orange Star trio arrived at Videl's home. Upon entering, Videl hastily began rummaging through a drawer at her bedside.
"What's she looking for?" Whispered Erasa.
Gohan shrugged right before Videl exclaimed, "Aha! Got it!"
The pair turned to see Videl eyeing something with a huge grin on her face. Before she could unveil it however, her watch started beeping.
"Ugh, Gohan answer this for me. Erasa, come here." After tossing her watch to Gohan, Videl pulled Erasa aside while Gohan returned to the balcony.
Clearing his throat, Gohan answered the call in full hero persona. "Officer, this is the Great Saiyaman reporting!"
"Saiyaman? Where's Videl?"
"Momentarily pre-occupied, but she's right here so whatever she needs to hear, she will."
"Alright, it'll actually be much better if both of you hear this. Anyway, we've got two major problems. First off, that giant winged cow monster thing is back. I thought you two said you were handling him."
Gohan's expression sharpened. Whether Taro transformed willingly or accidently, this likely meant that something on Ranma's end went wrong.
"We are…though its currently a work in progress," Gohan hesitantly replied. "I can assure you, we're taking steps to get that taken care of. For now, what's the second problem?"
"Well…this part is more appropriate for Videl's ears only but we trust you enough to be professional, so I'll give you the cliff notes version."
Gohan's expression dulled to one of confusion. What did he mean by, 'appropriate' for Videl's ears. With an affirmatory hum, Gohan braced himself for what was next.
"Well…we've gotten multiple reports of women having their garments stolen. That's all I can reveal to you for now, but I can add that the culprit is said to be a small elderly man."
Gohan's face turned blue as he pictured the obvious culprit with a large sack on his back.
"Thank you for the update sir," Gohan replied. "Believe it or not we're actually working on that issue as well. No time to explain, but the two cases are actually connected."
"Are they now?"
"We'll fill you in later. For now, we have to get this done. Saiyaman out." Ending the call, Gohan barged back through the room. "Videl, we've got a problem!"
"We've got a lot of problems Gohan." Pausing, Videl's stern expression grew into a smarmy grin. "Thankfully, I've got the solution to a big one."
"What solution?"
"Gohan, take off your helmet."
]
Chaos erupted in he heart of Satan City as Happosai and the three young fighters clashed, more so Ranma and Pantyhose Taro who were on the offensive, though Akane kept busy by helping play keep away with the poisoned bun.
"Give that back!" Happosai dove for Akane who currently had the bun in hand. Just as she was set to defend herself, Happosai was finally caught by Pantyhose Taro.
"Finally, I've got…!" Taro's victorious boast was cut short by the reveal that he'd captured a substitution doll. In the next instance, a familiar call rang out.
"Happo Fire Burst!"
"Incoming!"
A trio of round explosives descended towards the trio, but an irate Taro was prepared. Quickly turning up, he aimed his finger. "Dodonpa!"
One by one, the fire burst balls exploded, bathing the trio in a layer of smoke. From the smoke burst Happosai who struck at his adolescent adversaries with his pipe. Ranma countered his attack with an upwards kick. As Happosai rebounded off Ranma's forearm, both parties stood defiantly as the battle came to a brief halt.
"If you want your bun back so badly old man, open wide and say 'Ahhhh!'",Taro taunted.
"In your dreams whelp!" Happosai said whilst twirling his pipe.
"Then how's about a bargain," Ranma took the bun from Akane. "You eat this bun, and we'll also throw in this!" Reaching into his shirt, Ranma pulled out the 'censored' picture of Bulma and despite some evident falter, Happosai remained firm.
"I appreciate the offer, but I decline…although if you'll allow me a counteroffer…" Happosai pulled a fire burst ball out of his robe. "…Why don't you eat that bun, hand over the photo and I won't smoke you brats like the rats you are!"
"Hmph, I'd rather stomach Akane's cooking then eat this ya old freak!" Ranma quickly found the back of his neck being grabbed and his confident expression quickly fell.
"Well, if you're not eating anything, then maybe you should keep your mouth shut!" An angered Akane tossed Ranma over her shoulder towards Happosai who quickly avoided the living projectile.
Ever the opportunist, Ranma figured that maybe, if he could recover in midair, he might be able to invoke his original plan and end this battle now. Sadly, an on guard Happosai left no opening that Ranma could strike at, whether he fixed himself or not.
As Ranma tumbled to the ground, rolling back on his feet, he'd find himself grabbed yet again, this time by Pantyhose Taro.
"What's the big idea stocking boy?"
Knocking Ranma in the head, Taro turned their attention to a nearby hydrant.
"Ohhhhhh, I get it."
Aiming his finger, Taro blasted the hydrant with a Dodonpa and the water splashed over the duo changing Ranma back to female and Taro into his chimeric form. With Ranma on his back, the winged bovine towered over the tiny lecher, but Happosai remained undeterred.
"Its always a shame when the students just never learn." Happosai tapped his pipe in hand, mentally prepared for Ranma's next move, or so he thought.
As he'd done countless times before, instead of attacking, Ranma instead pulled his shirt open, revealing his female form's assets.
"Oh…BABY!" Immediately, Happosai leapt at the young redhead before quickly finding all four of his limbs bound by Taro's tentacles.
"Its always a good day when you make things easy for us," Ranma boasted.
As he was raised up to Ranma'slevel, Happy could only curse his own 'bad luck'. "Curses, shaken by my one weakness!"
"Now, why don't you be a good old fart and take your medicine?" Ranma taunted as he eased the bun towards Happy's mouth.
"Never, you smarmy ingrates!"
Happosai continued to turn away from Ranma as the young fighter continuously thrust the bun towards Happosai's face. Using the Roasting Chestnuts technique Ranma was able to launch a barrage at Happosai, but the old master, even while bound, was swift enough to avoid Ranma's attempts at force feeding.
"Come on…! Gah-!" A frustrated Ranma tried to accelerate his hand until he suddenly felt his hand get struck by something hard.
Happosai grinned as he revealed that during the barrage, he'd managed to slip his pipe into his mouth and using the large end, whacked Ranma's hand causing him to drop the bun.
"Akane catch it!"
On cue, Akane dove for the falling snack, and with an impressive slide caught it. Sadly for her, the bun was accompanied by a fire burst ball that fell from Happosai's pant leg.
"Eeeek!" With barely a second left, Akane managed to dash away but still caught the latter end of the blast, causing her to fall and the bun to go flying again.
"Akane!"
With Ranma distracted, Happosai managed to slip another fire burst ball out of his pant leg and with his pipe, knocked it at Ranma who was wholly unable to react in time. The resulting explosion blew not only Ranma but Taro back, causing him to inadvertently release Happosai. Finally free, Happosai bounded off of Taro's head and launched himself towards the skyward bun.
Despite his incredible speed however, the laced food was narrowly snatched away from Happosai's greedy hands by a surprise assailant. As everyone recovered from the recent scuffle, a familiar, female voice called out, "Looking for this?"
All eyes turned to the voice, quickly revealed to be Videl, bouncing the laced bun in her hand.
"Videl!"
"Oh-hoooo, so the new blood returns! I admit I was having so much fun with my old friends here, I almost forgot about you."
Videl shot Happosai a venom fueled glare, but remained silent, a hint of determination in her gaze.
"But if you're back…does that mean your bouncy blonde friend is here too!? Or what about Sunny Man?"
"Forget about them, I'm your opponent now, and I fully intend to make you pay for what you did to them!" Videl proclaimed.
Happosai let out a hearty laugh. "You talk a big game girlie, but I haven't seen anything too impressive from you…aside from those succulent looking thighs of yours."
A recovered Akane quickly stood defensively before Videl. "I won't let you lay a finger on her you disgusting creep!"
Videl put a hand on her shoulder. "Much appreciated Akane, but leave this to me."
Pantyhose Taro let out an angered moo, pulling out a sign that read, "Get serious woman! You don't stand a chance!"
"Hmph, just watch me!"
As Videl stepped forth to challenge the old master, the remaining young fighters watched on disbelievingly. As she did however, something he said rang out to them; where was Gohan? His circumstances aside, there's no way Gohan would let Videl face someone like Happosai alone. The trio quickly recalled their earlier conversation and realized that this challenge was likely bait and Gohan was probably hidden somewhere close. Whatever new plan the two had, they had to be sure they didn't ruin it.
Mere meters away, Videl revealed a capsule. Clicking it, the bun disappeared within, leaving everyone confused. Furthering the confusion, Videl tugged at her collar and slipped the capsule into her shirt.
"Videl, what are you doing?" asked Akane.
Ignoring her, Videl kept her focus on Happosai and egged him on. "You want it? Come and get it!"
Wriggling his fingers, Happosai replied, "Hehehe, gladly!"
With an eager laugh, Happosai launched himself at Videl who stood firmly but made no attempt to defend herself. Akane and the boys knew this had to be bait, but it still took quite a bit of restraint for the Tendo heiress not to jump in, and she was hardly the only one as Satan City's defender, his body hidden and his power suppressed, waited on the sidelines with baited breath, prepared for his cue.
'Videl….'
A bead of sweat rolled down Videl's head as she saw Happosai bounding straight for her. Though confident in her skills, especially after recent events, she wasn't arrogant enough to think she could take on a master opponent like Happosai in a fair fight. Fortunately, fairness was the last thing on everyone's mind. While she wasn't immodest enough to take a page from Ranma's book and flash him, despite the rather suggestive challenge, she was mischievous enough to flash him literally. With merely seconds to react, Videl put her hands aside her head.
Ranma and Akane quickly recalled the pose and realized what was coming next. As Ranma hid behind Taro and Akane turned away, Happosai was left defenseless as Videl unleashed the attack.
"Solar Flare!"
"Gaaaagh!"
Happosai cried out as his eyes were assaulted by the blinding light. While his body flailed wildly as he desperately shielded his eyes, his momentum carried him forward past an evasive Videl and Akane and into the waiting hands of Saiyaman who warped into position.
With one hand wrapped around Happosai's tiny frame, the other kept his already agape mouth open, made even easier by Happy's strained hollering.
"Guys, I got him!"
"Alright! It worked!"
Akane and Videl strolled up to regroup with Gohan, but he quickly urged them back.
"Not yet!"
The girls were left confused until the area surrounding Gohan went up in smoke with a loud 'Boom'. Happosai must've tossed a Fire Burst Ball up while the area was bathed in light, most likely a contingency in case things went too far South for him. Saiyaman appearing should have been super advantageous to him, but to his surprise and dismay however, once the smoke cleared, Happosai was still in Saiyaman's clutches.
"Sorry to disappoint you old master, but your trick no longer has any effect on me!" Saiyaman proclaimed.
Happosai could onlyattempt to scream in frustration as the group was finally joined by Ranma and Taro.
"What took you guys so long?" asked Gohan.
"This idiot fell on me," Ranma sneered.
"No one told you to stand behind me, and neither you or that girl warned me about the light!"
"You can hit each other later, just give Happosai the bun already!" snapped Akane.
"Right." Videl quickly pulled the capsule out of her shirt and tossed it up. Unbeknownst to the young fighters however, Happosai had one last resort to use. Pulling his foot into and back out of his pant leg, he kicked a small something up into the air, causing two distinct bursting sounds to fill the air and instead of a single bun popping out however, it started raining lingerie much to everyone's disgust.
"What the-!?"
"Ewww-!"
"The fu-!?"
"Gah-!"
While everyone quickly tried to free and shield themselves from the fabric rain, Gohan instinctively reached to pull a bra off of his helmet that also obscured his view. Unfortunately that was the opening Happosai needed to free himself from the young hero's grip.
"Gohan!"
"Whoop-!"
Gohan realized his blunder too late as Happosai slipped out of Gohan's hand and touched ground. Launching himself back at Saiyaman, he struck the off guard saiyan with a swift kick to the head, dealing negligible damage but knocking his helmet off, revealing a pair of headphones hidden within.
[Many moments earlier]
Back at Videl's house, while Gohan was speaking with the policeman, Videl had fished a pair of headphones out from her dresser drawer. Long ago, Videl had learned the hard way that between Buu, a dog, and her father's usual bluster, quiet time was a luxury even she couldn't always afford.
Regardless, she quickly had Erasa put them on and snapped her fingers. Thankfully, it seemed her gambit paid of and Erasa didn't pull her shirt up. They'd need to quickly test it with a soft explosion to see if it would shield Gohan's ears from Happosai's 'Fire Burst' attack, but Videl was confident this would work, especially if Happosai couldn't see it coming.
"Gohan, take off your helmet!"
]
"So that's what the deal was!" Happosai smirked. "But now that that's out of the way…!"
Before anyone could strike, Happosai spiked a Fire Burst ball onto the ground, shielding himself in a cloud of smoke and the explosion once again triggering Gohan's curse, forcing him to strike Pantyhose Taro straight in the gut.
Taro let out a shaky moo as he doubled over in pain while Gohan could only curse his own mistake.
"Dammit…I need to fall back! Its too dangerous."
"No wait!" Videl called out as Gohan went skyward.
"Nah, he's right. We're just lucky he default hits Pantyho-"
"AHA!"
The gand turned back to find Happosai amongst the fallen garments holding the bun in his hand.
"Catch him dammit!" snapped Akane.
"On it!" Ranma immediately pulled his shirt open, but in an impressive display of willpower, Happosai chucked a thermos at Ranma, its contents covering him and turning him male again.
"That's the thermos we dropped before!" noted Akane.
"Saw it on the ground and snagged it once Pantyhose Taro let me go before. Not much left, but just enough and still warm enough!"
"Heh, not bad old timer, but ya shouldn't have wasted it on me!" Ranma taunted.
An enraged, Taro sprang up behind Happosai, swinging both of his fists down but narrowly missing the evasive elder. Unable to keep his eyes on his speedy foe, Taro was launched away thanks to a swift kick from Happosai who rebounded and landed on a nearby car.
"You played a good game kids, but you're still decades off from defeating me! Now, how exactly can I pay you brats back for making me have to give up my darling-!?"
Happosai's boast and threat was cut short by the car he was on subsequently exploding, launching him skyward. A quick glance upwards showed Gohan with his hand extended. It seems he was being true to his role as 'air support' after all.
"Nice shot," Videl murmured.
"He still has the bun! After him, quick!"
The remaining fighters all dashed for where Happosai seemed to be landing, but before anyone could attempt to grab him, Happosai was struck by something else flying from the opposite direction and knocked to the ground sooner than anticipated.
"What the-?"
"What was that?"
Gohan kept a safe distance, but descended low enough to see alongside the others what crashed into Happosai: an odd-looking bat.
"Ummmm…why is a bat flying around in the daytime?" asked Akane.
"Who cares? Just grab the-?"
Ranma was cut off by a puff of smoke emanating from the bat which then re-revealed itself to be a small anthropomorphic pig.
"Wait…Oolong!?"
"You know him?"
"Oh, what hit me…?" As Oolong began to stir, his eyes went to Videl, the only familiar face. "Oh Videl, how' ya been? Who's yer…fr-fr-?"
Oolong stammered as his gaze shifted from Akane, to Ranma and finally to Pantyhose Taro who was still in his cursed form!
"Monstah!"
"Quiet down, I'm sleepin' here!" snapped a newly conscious Happosai.
"Shit, the old man's awake!"
Before anyone could make a move, Happosai quickly grabbed onto to the shuddering, similarly sized Oolong, a Fire Burst ball in hand. "Alright kiddos, nobody move! That goes for Slater Man too!"
Videl glanced up and locked eyes with Gohan. After getting the signal to stand down, Gohan silently swore. Guess Happosai was bound to catch on sooner or later. He probably could've reclaimed his helmet before flying off, but he was so focused on the potential risk of the curse, he wasn't thinking.
"What the heck's goin' on here!?" snapped Oolong.
"You don't need to know, but you kiddos better listen up, cause here's what's going down! Give me the picture and I'll release the swine. If not, then the little piggy goes 'Wee-Wee' to the next world!"
"Again I ask, what's goin' on here!?" Oolong repeated.
While Ranma and the girls hesitated in their next move, a frustrated Pantyhose Taro raised his fist to strike.
"Stop you idiot!" Ranma called.
"Don't you dare hurt that cute piggy!" A female voice shouted.
Oolong could only give a simple, "Oh no..." before a familiar loud squeal filled the air.
"What the…?"
"Look out!" Akane pulled Ranma aside while Videl and Taro went airborne, leaving a surprised Happosai to get trampled by a familiar, large swine, ridden by none other than Akari Unryu.
"Katsunishiki!"
The giant pig squealed before assaulting the miniscule master with a barrage of hooved strikes.
"Akari?"
"So it was her that knocked you down before!" said Akane.
"What's she even doing here?" Ranma asked.
"I'm guessing she was chasing after…hey, where'd Oolong go?"
The trio surveyed the area to find that the humanoid pig had disappeared. With Happosai getting attacked and everyone's attention on that, Oolong had taken the opportunity to slip into a nearby alleyway.
"Dende, if you can do me a solid, please don't let any of them find me here!"
"Psst…Oolong!"
"God damn-!"
Oolong's mouth was covered by a gloved hand revealed to be Gohan. "Calm down its me."
"Gohan? What in blazes is goin' on out there!?"
"I'll explain later, but right now, I've got a favor to ask you."
"If it involves getting' mixed into that nonsense, then you can forget it!" Oolong quickly denied, his arms crossed.
"At least hear me out?" Gohan stammered.
Oolong turned raised eyebrow to Gohan. If nothing else, Gohan wasn't the type to involve him in something skeevy like Bulma or Goku was.
"Fine, lay it on me."
Gohan then whispered his request into Oolong's ear and the pig-man yelped. "What!? Why!?"
"Long story short, we're trying to trap the old man over there, and we need a way to let his guard down."
"I get that but why her specifically?"
"I…can't say."
"Well then I can't help you."
Gohan was about to try and plead to Oolong again but paused when he felt Happosai's aura spike and heard a loud, pained squeal.
'Dammit…no time left…!' With a sigh, Gohan cursed himself for what he was about to do. 'Please forgive me for this.'
"Oolong, I've got a proposition for you."
]
The remaining teens all watched casually as Katusnishiki continued to slam Happosai into the pavement. The one to finally speak up was Pantyhose Taro who pulled out a sign.
"Uhhh…shouldn't we try and get the bun from him now?"
"One more minute. You gotta admit, watching the freak get beaten by a pig is pretty frickin' hilarious."
While the boys watched Happosai get thrashed, the girls took the moment to speak with Akari who was zipping around rather frantically.
"Where did he go? Where'd that little piggy go!?"
"Akari, please chill!"
"Oh! Akane and the girl who fought Ryoga."
"Videl," she reintroduced herself.
"Focus girls. Akari, what are you doing here?"
The story would be halted before it began as a massive burst sprang forth from up the street, managing to blow Ranma away and a defending Taro away.
"What was th-?"
"Look out!" Akane pulled the other girls away as Katsunishiki crashed down onto the pavement, fully unconscious.
"Katsuni!" Akari ran over to her pet only to be halted by the menacing form of Happosai's aura, rising like the sun.
"I should be mad at being belted by that swine, but who could be angry in the presence of such a cute, new gal!?" he guffawed.
Dashing defensively in front of Akari, Akane and a recovered Ranma proclaimed, "Don't even think about it!"
"Videl, get Akari out of here!" Akane whispered to her.
"What about you two?"
"Get movin' already!" Ranma urged.
With no more questions, Videl took Akari's hand and ascended just as Happosai's aura came rushing towards the young fighters. Off to the side, a recovered Taro tried to salvage the situation by firing a Dodon Ray at Happosai, but the intensity of his aura was able to deflect the feeble attempt.
Instinctively, Ranma shoved Akane aside and braced himself too take the blast himself crossing his arms acrosshis body.
"Ranma!"
Everyone shielded their eyes a they awaited the inevitable, but to their surprise, the blast never came. As everyone peeked at the scene, everyone could see Happosai staring off to the side.
'What's he looking at?' was the unified thought shared between all the fighters. Following his gaze, they all saw a familiar blue-haired woman in a tight, green dress strolling up the street.
"Is that…?"
"Bulma!?"
"Ya mean the lady from the picture that…?" Ranma paused as he realized what this meant. "Oh no."
To their horror, their fears were realized with Happosai's next proclamation. "On second thought kiddos, you can keep your picture. I'm going after the real treasure!"
"No you don't!" Ranma dashed off to try and stop Happosai, but halted as Akari landed atop him, Videl having dropped her before rushing to the old master herself.
"Bulma, run for it!" Videl called.
Without even turning to acknowledge her, Bulma shot off as fast as she could up the street. Happosai began to pursue, but even in flight, he was notably faster than Videl (at least at ground level. Thankfully the young heroine would receive backup in the form ofher trusted Saiyan partner who descended on the scene with a divekick.
"I shan't let you, fiend!" Gohan proclaimed in full Saiyaman dialect.
Without even looking, Happosai tossed a Fire Burst Ball right in Videl's direction to keep the young fighters off his trail. It was likely that Saiyaman had retrieved his helmet and was thus unaffected by the mushroom curse, but either way, he should be home free.
As expected, Saiyaman dashed aside to a defensive Videl to then deflect the incoming bomb. When it exploded however, he flew over to Taro and harshly shoved him back up the street. Apparently even though he'd have retrievedhis helmet, it seems the hidden headphones were AWOL. Oh well, either way, Happosai was certain he won this one as he chased after the retreating Bulma.
"Ohh noo, he's getting away!" Gohan dramatically droned.
"Then get your cape in gear and let's go after him already!" snapped Ranma.
Ignoring Ranma, Gohan removed his helmet, showing that he did in fact put the headphones back on. "Sorry, I didn't catch that."
"Wait…you had those on?"
"Then why did you shove…!?"
"Nevermind that now," Ranma cut Taro off. "Let's go after the old freak already!"
"Not yet," Gohan dissuaded with a knowing smile.
"THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, 'NOT YET'!?" everyone yelled in unison.
"Gohan if we don't stop he's going to feed his last cursed bun to Bulma!" Akane noted.
"Oh no he's not," Gohan impishly grinned.
"Okay Gohan, what the Hell are you not telling us?" Videl asked
Crossing his arms behind his head, Gohan grinned, "Ohh…nothing."
"Son Gohan, you're the worst liar ever, now tell us! What are you up to!?" Videl demanded.
"Have you noticed somebody's missing?"
"Missing?"
"That piggy!" Akari interjected. "Where did he go?"
Once Akari mentioned Oolong, it all clicked for Videl. "Wait…you mean!?"
The grin on Gohan's face said all and Videl couldn't resist cracking up herself. "Oh my God…that's brilliant and hilarious!"
The Anything Goes fighters watched the Z-Couple giggle amongst themselves until Taro held up a sign.
"What are you two laughing about?"
"I'll explain on the way, but we need to hurry. This may be the last chance we get to end this mess."
]
After running away at Videl's behest, Bulma found a bench to rest at. Grasping her chest, she surveyed the area to see if who or whatever Videl had warned her about was still chasing her. From the looks of things, the coast was clear so she let the fatigue overwhelm her.
"Whew…I'm beat," she droned. "Once I get back home, I'm hopping straight into the showers." As she spoke her thoughts aloud, a low growl filled the air. "Although…maybe I should find a bite to eat first."
As if on cue, a raspy voice replied, "Oh, pardon me madame!"
Bulma turned to see the diminutive old man, exuding a bright aura as he casually approached her. With a raised eyebrow, she asked, "Can I help you?"
"Oh perish the thought my dear, though I couldn't help but overhear your little predicament." Immediately, he fished out his basket and presented it to her. "Might I interest you in one of my homemade buns? I've been sharing them all day and have just one left for the prettiest young lady."
Bulma crossed her arms and legs whilst giving Happosai a skeptical look. "I'm not one into accepting random offerings from strangers, but then again, I also can't deny a nice old man with good taste, unlike a certain nasty old pervert."
Happosai dismissively shook his head. "I hear ya. Those types give folks my age a bad rap, but we're not all such degenerates."
Readily accepting the bun, Bulma grinned, "I'll take your word for it old timer."
Happosai flashed a jovial smile, taking care to hide the deviousness in his grin. All he had to do now was wait, watch and he'd have the sweetest eye-candy since the blonde girl.
"You know old timer, since you were kind enough to help me out here, I'd like to give you a little token of my thanks," Bulma said with a wink.
"Oh…well…I couldn't possibly…" Happosai coyly chuckled.
"No please, I insist, let me thank you properly," Bulma said whilst bending over to Happosai's level.
The tiny elder's eyes immediately fell to beneath Bulma's neck, straight to her cleavage. Happosai summoned all of his willpower to restrain himself and not dive straight into her right then and there. Just another moment and he'd have the full package.
"Well, if you insist," Happy guffawed.
"Good, now close your eyes."
Happosai immediately followed his instructions and closed his eyes with an expectant grin. Though a small 'Pop' did fill the air, he paid it no mind. What finally did bring him back to focus was a raspy, distinctly male voice called to him.
"Eat up pal!"
As Happosai opened his eyes and instinctively gasped in surprise, he was met with a familiar visiage of a pig-man and his tiny hand shoving itself into his mouth, along with a warm, meat bun. Before Happosai could fully process what was happening, the pig disappeared in a puff of smoke, replaced by a serpent which coiled itself around Happosai's head.
The old master desperately clutched at the slinky reptile, trying to pull him off his face but to no avail. As Happosai tumbled to the ground, the young fighter quintet finally arrived on the scene.
"Alright, looks like it worked!"
On the flight over, Gohan and Videl had explained in more detail about Oolong's shapeshifting capabilites and Gohan then explained how he'd convinced Oolong to help them bait Happosai into lowering his guard by changing into Bulma. It then made sense why Gohan had them give Happosai a head start, they needed time for Oolong to play his part since his transformations only last 5 minutes. Although on the topic of time, how much longer did Oolong have?
They'd recive their answer soon enough as a puff of smoke appeared over a toppled Happosai's face and Oolong in his normal form landed beside him.
Quickly sitting up, a seething Happosai turned his attention to Oolong. "Why…you little…!"
"Let Pantyhose Taro change his name!" Ranma quickly gave the command and snapped his fingers.
"Pantyhose Taro has my permission to change his name," Happosai proclaimed.
"Thank you!" Videl said pressing a button on her phone. Not only had they succeded in getting Happosai to give Taro the permission he so desperately wanted, Videl had the foresight to record the whole thing, just in case the laws of Taro's village were called into question.
Finally realizing what just transpired, Happosai fell to the ground in despair. "Nooooooo…! I won't let this stand! You will always remain Pantyhose Tar-!"
Ranma snapped his fingers.
"Pantyhose Taro is allowed to change his name…NO!"
The first time that statement hit his ears, Taro froze in disbelief as if needing to process everything. The second time however, he fell to the ground, tears welling up in his eyes. Though probably not as touching a moment had he been in human form, but even in his chimeric form, the pure bliss and relief on his face was evident.
"I've dreamed of this moment for years!" read Taro's sign.
"Yeah, yeah, good for you bullhead, but we still got stuff to do!"
Ranma turned everyone's attention to Happosai who was still laying defeated on the ground. Before he could make any attempts at escaping the five young fighters surrounded him. Finally, he got to his feet, disdain on his face.
"Hmph, enjoy it while you can boy! The mushrooms only last a handful of hours. Once they wear off, I'll be back and you will now, and forever more be known as Pantyhose Taro!"
Everyone shared a knowing smile before Ranma snapped his fingers, negating that last proclamation and let out a smarmy laugh. "Sorry to burst your bubble old man, but you won't get that chance!"
"What are you talking about?"
Everyone backed away while Ranma got some distance, taking an offensive stance. "I'm putting you away for good you disgusting old freakshow!"
"Buzz off kiddos, you already won today. Don't think that just cause you made me eat that spiked bun means you can get lucky again!"
Ranma cockily chuckled. "I don't think you quite understand what I'm getting at, so why don't we just cut to the chase."
His curiosity piqued, a now intrigued Happosai stood on guard as Ranma stood with his arms at his sides. Slowly, Ranma's energy began to rise and he was bathed in a white light.
"Ranma wait!" Gohan called out, but his warning fell on deaf ears as Ranma's ki continued to increase. "Dammit!"
Gohan would then go rummage through his pockets until he finally found a capsule and rushed to uncap it. As he did, Ranma's energy would finally reach its apex. Happosai stood at the ready, mentally prepared for whatever he may be trying to do but was caught completely off guard when Ranma thrust his hands forward and a massive green burst of energy flew forth.
"Whaaaaaaat is THIIIIIIIIIIIIS!?"
Happosai screamed as the energy wave engulfed him and we was sucked up in the hazy vortex. Ranma then raised his arms, aiming the wave upwards as a hollering Happosai continued to get swirled around.
"Dammit Ranma, I told you to wait!" Gohan lightly swore as he finally uncapped the capsule revealing a small urn with the characters "Demon Seal" etched into it. "You three stand back!"
Taro and the girls did as told while Gohan dove in, placing the open urn beneath the massive green cyclone. "Ranma, now!"
"You're finished freak! Evil Containment Wave!"
Happosai screamed as Ranma thrust his hands downward and the cyclone descended, straight towards the urn. Finally it dissipated one the tip crashed down and everything was bathed in a cloud of smoke.
"Did…did it work?" asked Akane.
Finally, the smoke cleared to reveal a dazed Happosai lying beneath a toppled urn.
"Oh crap…I missed…!" Ranma panted as he fell to a knee.
"Ranma, are you alright?" asked a concerned Akane.
Ranma was shaking from the backlash, but nonetheless was able to get back to his feet. Though winded, he didn't appear entirely drained just yet. "I'll be fine, though I think I only have one more of those left in me, just make sure the old freak doesn't…HEY!"
All eyes turned to see Happosai trying to scurry away. Surprisingly, he seemed just as shaken as Ranma. When the pigtailed fighter called out to him however, the diminutive master could only glance back with a terrified look on his face.
"What…on Earth was THAT!?"
"Just a little trick called the 'Mafuba'!" Ranma boasted.
"That's impossible…! That's Master Mutaito's secret technique!"
"You know about it?"
"I never got to witness it, but tales of Master Mutaito's special technique that triumphed against a Great Demon King stretched all over the land to martial artists everwhere, but that was centuries ago! That technique should've been lost to time! How in the world did you whelps learn about it…let alone how to perform it!?"
"Does it matter? You won't be around to hear the story!" Ranma threatened. As he took the stance once more, Gohan put a hand on his shoulder.
"Ranma, are you sure you're up for this? Not to doubt you but you look a little worse for wear. I can…."
"Thanks for worryin' about me, but I got this! I may only have one more shot at this, but its all I need!"
Gohan gave an understanding nod and stepped back. Though he was willing to step in if Ranma should fail again, given their history, he was content to let Ranma take the reigns.
"There's no way I'm letting you get away with that nonsense a second time!"
"You ain't got a choice!"
Ranma once again raised his energy and thrust his arms forward, letting the technique fly once more. Ranma was confident that if Happosai tried to dodge, Gohan or Taro would be able to keep him in the blast's path, but surprisingly, Happosai remained still. Surprisingly, he seemed to take a stance similar to Ranma's.
The one to realize what was coming next was Gohan who let out a small worried gasp as Happosai made his move.
"You shouldn't have missed before Ranma cause the same technique doesn't work on me twice!"
With a yell, Happosai's own energy spiked and he called out, "Mafuba Reflect!"
"What!?"
Nearly everyone cried out in surprise as Happosai let loose a wave of battle aura and the green vortex suddenly went in the reverse direction towards a stupefied Ranma.
'How the Hell did he do that!'
"Karma's a bitch ain't she Ranma!?"
Happosai let out a hearty laugh as the wave closed in on a petrified Ranma. Before he could get sucked in however, Ranma was launched aside and in his place stood Gohan, his own power raised.
"Gohan!?"
"What are you doing!?"
"I'm sorry Ranma, but I think this is the part where I intervene!"
Ranma tried to get back up, but after firing the Mafuba a second time, he found himself immobilized by the severe lack of energy. He didn't know what Gohan was planning, but he'd have no choice but to accept it
Happosai on the other hand, looked rather elated. "This was meant for Ranma but sealing Sugarman here will be even better!"
Gohan's expression quickly turned focused. "The only one being sealed here, is you you lecherous fiend!"
Taking the signature stance, Gohan thrust his hands forth and let his power burst. "Reflect Reversal!"
"WHHHAAAAAAAT!?"
Like what happened before with Happosai, the Mafuba reversed directions once more, swirling back towards Happosai the wave now more powerful than ever.
"You were only able to do it on a whim, but when my master taught me the move, he also taught me the reversal…cause he was the first one to do it!"
"What is with you kids these days…!" Happosai could only scream as he slowly got pulled into the vortex. Unfortunately, he did still have a card left to play.
"You may catch me with the wave…but you can't trap me with no… JAAAAAAAAR!"
Right before the Wave's vortex sucked him in, Happosai launched a small projectile (probably a pebble) towards the jar, shattering it just as Gohan raised his arms.
"Oh no, the jar!" The girls panicked as it seemed that their final gambit had failed, but Gohan quickly quelled their worries.
"Don't worry, any container will do, as long as it has a lid!" he called.
"Any container…?"
The girls quickly scanned their surroundings when Akane perked up. "Wait, the thermos!"
Sharing a nod, Akane made some space while Videl braced herself for incoming.
"Gohan, now!"
With a huff, Gohan thrust his arm downward and directed the wave in the girls' direction. With almost perfect precision, the wave landed right inside of the thermos with Happosai's anguished scream echoing across the land.
"Noooooooo…! Damn you Saiyamaaaannnn…!"
Once the wave dissipated, Akane quickly capped the thermos and everyone froze as tension seemed to dissipate. Breaking the silence (not really) was Taro who raised a sign reading, "Is it over?"
Gohan nodded. "Not yet its not! We still need to apply a seal before…."
The moment he spoke, thejar began to shake in Videl's hand. "Uhh…what's going on?"
"Dammit!" Zipping over to the girls, Gohan grabbed the thermos and pressed onto the lid just as it seemed to be unsealing itself.
"We need to apply a seal now!" Gohan exclaimed.
"But how? The only seal was on the jar!" Akane exclaimed.
"We have to make a new one!" Gohan strained as the thermos started vibrating against him.
"With what!? We don't have the time or materials!"
"Oh yes ya do!" The raspy voice of Oolong rang forth as he strolled up to the girls.
"Oolong? You're still here?"
"You can be surprised later! What matters is I can be a turn into a temporary seal until you can make a permanent one!"
"But we still need something to write with."
A large 'sploosh' filled the air as a black liquid was launched onto a nearby tree, courtesy of Taro who shifted his outstretched fingers into a thumbs up.
"Ink, perfect! Now we just need a brush or something!" Everyone scanned the area and as Akane's eyes fell on the felled Ranma, her eyes alit. "Got it!"
Darting over, Akane grabbed Ranma's body and dipped the tip of his pigtail into Taro's ink.
"H-hey!"
"Man up Ranma, this is an emergency!"
"Okay Oolong, now!"
With a huff, Oolong transformed into a blank seal and Akane quickly got to work using Ranma's hair and Taro's ink to write the characters. Though the jar was preprepared for them, Tien also had the foresight to show them the appropriate seal during their training just in case they needed to make another.
"You girls need to hurry! I don't think I can hold it…much longer!" Gohan strained harder as the thermos shook more violently.
"Just a second!" called Videl.
Gohan could feel the lid start to part from the container. If Happosai escaped now, everything would've been for nothing, and he wasn't going to let that happen. As Gohan steeled himself, prepared to do something drastic, Taro rushed over held his hand over Gohan's, his added strength seemingly keeping the mafuba at bay.
Akane rushed to finish the seal, but she couldn't go too fast lest she risk miswriting a character, thus rendering the seal useless.
Gohan and Taro continued to hold the thermos closed, but its shuddering soon grew incredibly violent to the point where it started jerking against them. The vapid yanking eventually caused Taro's hands to slip, leaving Gohan to continue holding it alone. Without Taro's added strength, however it was only a matter of time until Happosai eventually broke free, especially with his impressive energy.
With no options left, Gohan decided to take drastic measures. With a breath, he let out a yell and was quickly bathed in a golden light as his hair changed from black to blonde.
Ranma was unable to see what was happening due to his current status as a makeshift paintbrush, but even he couldn't miss the massive spike in Gohan's energy.
'What the Hell just happened?'
His thoughts were jarred by Akane yelling, "Finished!"
With little abandon, Videl grabbed the seal and slapped it onto the thermos and almost instantaneously, the shaking stopped.
As Gohan finally set the thermos down, the group took a moment to let everything sink in but judging from the calm air surrounding them, it looked like their gambit paid off.
"It worked…?"
"It's over…?"
"Not quite yet."
Taking the thermos, Gohan dipped his finger into the pool of ink and started finger painting on the thermos' free side, specifically writing the seal directly on the thermos itself.
Finally finished, Gohan pulled the 'Oolong seal' off the thermos and set it down just as the pig-man's transformation timed out. As everyone took a cautious step back, nothing happened. The thermos remained standing still on the ground. All remained silent until everyone present let out a string of surprised and elated gasps.
"It worked…."
"It's over…."
"The old freak…" Ranma had finally recovered enough to move and was able to join in the unbelievable sight before them.
Gohan smiled as he reverted back to base form. "Yup, he's gone."
(A/N: It's over…it's finally really over! I feel like I've been stuck on this arc forever and my year long hiatus didn't help things any. But alas, our heroes have triumphed and have sealed Happosai away. I know I've harped on this before, but I cannot stress enough, making an antagonist a viable threat whilst the protagonist [or one of them at least] is vastly more powerful than them is a HARD thing to do. I have MUCH more respect for people who write Superman stories cause I now know how much of an ask it is (Speaking of Superman, looking forward to that new movie; my second favorite comic hero BTW). When I tell you, this chapter did NOT go the way I thought it would…I've no words to describe it. Ranma disguising himself to steal the bun was something that was always planned, but the way it failed wasn't set in stone which is where Oolong and Akari came in. Speaking of, to the one old commenter who suggested I use Oolong, congratulations, you got your wish. Initially, I wasn't going to use Oolong since, while I did think involving him would actually be a good idea, I couldn't think of a way for him to be added without it seeming too convenient…and then I remembered what Oolong was and the prospect of adding him via Akari just made too much sense not to include. As for the Mafuba scene, that was always going to be the easy part for our heroes since even if Ranma or the girls failed in the Mafuba, Gohan could do it easily. Still, I didn't want to make things too easy so the prospect of 'seal troubles' came up, but I needed something believable that also wasn't as ridiculous as how Goku screwed up in DBS. On the topic of the girls, I did toss around the idea of doinga sort of "Reflect Volley" where everyone sans Taro got a chance to reflect the Mafuba until finally landing it, but that felt a bit too farfetched. The girls are both getting stronger, but they shouldn't be at that level after just a few days…at least not with something like the Mafuba. Another idea was for Akane and Videl to combine their ki to use the Mafuba together asa way to sort of compensate each other's weakness but that felt more like just going in circles so in the end, I had the guys do the heavy lifting while the girls capped everything off. Also, if anyone's wondering how Happosai was able to reverse the Mafuba from Ranma, to that I say, 'How was Frost able to reflect it in the ToP?' All smarm aside I'm just going to chalk it up to experience cause when Happosai isn't distracted by boobies, he's genuinely capable and dangerous, plus he is still more powerful than Ranma. I'm sure there are a handful of other questions, but those will have to wait until next time to be answered. Not counting this A/N, this is still undoubtedly my longest chapter ever. The word count is higher than Goku's power level in the Saiyan Saga at over 10K, but I'd say it was worth it since everyone's likely waited long enough for this saga to conclude(me included) and we've finally reached the end. Next time is going to be all wrap-up before we move forward. Until then, thanks for staying with me thus far, especially since it didn't take me a whole year to update this time.)
PS: Happy Belated New Year
PSS: No promises, but I do have an idea for…let's say a small spin-off. There are two characters I kinda want to write interacting but that wouldn't exactly fit in a story focused on Akane, Videl, and their respective partners. Again, no promises, but keep an eye out.