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Wednesday 22/10/89
Dear Spencer
I'm glad to hear you had a good birthday with your mum, and got to go out for a proper dinner. I can't imagine a better buffet meal than the ones we had. Of course, other than Petunia's cooking and my own I haven't had much experience with different foods. Is the food really that much better or is it that food tastes better when you know you've paid for it? Or is it better because you're with your mum, and you know she loves it? As for having to go out and buy the presents with your mum on the day, Dudley loves it when he can talk Vernon and Petunia into taking him to buy extra presents on his birthday. At least you got to choose things you really wanted that way, but I guess since it's normally you that pays the bills and does the budgets and you know that you didn't have much extra money to spend, you probably didn't get everything you wanted, only the things you really needed and some cheap books you thought you could afford and could share with your mum. I'd bet even if she had brought you something really expensive you would have tried to return it if you thought she wouldn't notice. Still shopping with your mum sounds like you both had a really good day, and hopefully you got at least some presents that you like. I'm sorry I couldn't buy you anything.
Don't you think it's a bit hypocritical for you to be encouraging me to go to the police and have myself put into foster care while you're working so hard to stop- it happening to you. I know why you say it's different because the Dursleys abuse and neglect me on purpose and your mother never means to hurt you but the end result is the same Spencer, you're in as much danger as me and I'm worried about you just as much as you worry about me. I understand you wanting to stay with your Mum, I know she loves you. Please understand that I think this is best for me too, I'll be okay. I'm still eating well thanks to my friend in the restaurant and I'm not quite as scrawny as I was. I think I've even grown a little. I've been reading in the library, I'm in awe of you teaching yourself to read a new language, I still come across English words I don't know but I am understanding more of what I read and classes seem much easier than they did before. I still can't let my results improve but I'm now learning all that I can.
The Dursleys aren't being any more horrible than they normally were before we came to Las Vegas. Dudley and his gang still try to catch me unawares in the playground and on my way to and from school. For some reason they haven't noticed yet that I'm going out the other gate and to the restaurant on my way home. They haven't managed to find or follow me there at any rate. The crossing lady on the other gate doesn't know me or Dudley so I don't think he'd get way with chasing me across the road like he does on our direct way home. Petunia, I won't call her Aunt in my letters to you because we both know she doesn't want to be related to me any more than I want to be related to her. Petunia has had me doing all the cooking since we got back. I'm enjoying it, she's shown me some new things I couldn't do before and has been quite patient explaining things. And she's letting me taste stuff so I can tell when it's right. I guess she realized being away for three weeks how nice it was not to cook every night. Mostly she leaves me to it and I manage to snack on the raw veggies as I cook, I don't know whether she doesn't notice or doesn't mind me doing it because Dudley and Vernon aren't fond of vegetables anyway, but I haven't been in trouble for it yet.
My school is pretty boring too. Partly because we're learning measurements in math at the moment and I learnt them years ago in cooking, and the teacher is reading us Esperanza Rising by Pam Muñoz Ryan which I read before we went on Holiday. It's okay I guess but she only reads a couple of pages a day when we've been good and got all our work done. Even the science experiments lately have been about heating things up and using steam.
How is your Mum? And how is school? Are you looking forward to Christmas? I miss you Spencer? My new friends at the restaurant are nice and it's my new safe place which is good to have, but it isn't the same as the hideout. I still have to be on my best behaviour all the time and be careful not to wear out my welcome there. Like I said they're nice to me but they're all grown-ups and they ask grown up questions not 'I want to be your friend' questions, and I can see that they're being nice because they feel sorry for me more than because they like me. I miss having you to talk to and just be my friend without pitying me. And I miss hearing you talk about things, I used to learn so many new ways of looking at stuff listening to you and you made everything sound so interesting. You'd think that would be a skill that teachers would have but most of them don't. I guess you have to be interested in stuff to make it sound interesting. Most of all I miss having someone that I can just be Harry with, who doesn't look down on me if I say something stupid or I'm scared or sad. I miss you Spencer.
Your Friend
Harry
A/N: Thank you to all those who reviewed followed or favourited this story for your support.