Chapter 10

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Thursday 12/7/89

Dear Harry

I don't think I am being hypocritical in worrying about your safety more than mine, my mother loves me as much as I love her, and she never means to hurt me. Your relatives take pleasure in hurting you and I'm absolutely sure they don't care about you. I'm sorry if I hurt you with that statement, I really don't mean to, but it's true Harry. If I went onto foster care my mother would be heartbroken by the loss, the only loss your relatives would feel would be in having to do the chores themselves, and possibly financially if they're being paid to look after you and whoever was paying them found out that you weren't there and stopped paying them.

Also, if I went into foster care I couldn't go to Caltech until I turned eighteen and I don't know that the universities in Las Vegas would be very good for me. A. it's too late to apply for a lot of scholarships and I can't afford to go to college without a full ride scholarship. B. they don't have the science programs I want to do though their math classes are quite advanced and C. a lot of the classmates from high school will be there so I wouldn't get away from the bullying. In fact, if they placed me in a foster home outside of this school district, I'd have to change high schools this semester and I might not even be allowed to graduate this year and have to spend another year or more in the hell that is high school for me.

If you went into foster care you would probably need to change schools which would be good for you, to get away from Dudley and let you be yourself and get the best grades that you're capable of instead of having to hold yourself back to his level, and have teachers that hadn't already been poisoned in their opinions of you by the Dursleys' lies and your history of deliberately underperforming. It might be the best thing that could happen to you.

The other thing that makes me worried about you and not myself is what will happen in the future. Things aren't getting worse with me and Mom. She has more bad days or less bad days depending on how well she's medicated so it's possible she will have more bad days as time goes by until her medication is sorted out again, but she isn't growing bigger and stronger like Dudley and even on her bad days she isn't any more violent than she has been for several years now, it's still pretty rare that she hurts me. It was just my good luck that last time it happened was while you were there to look after me, though I am sorry that it has made you worry. You admitted that you get hurt far more often and the way they treat you is getting worse.

I know you told me that their fear of what the neighbors will think will protect you, but I don't think that their fear is as strong as you think it is, or I think that they will convinced themselves that the neighbors don't notice or agree with them that you're not normal and it's therefore okay for them to treat you badly. You're already having to eat out of dumpsters and rely on your new friends at the restaurant to keep their food scraps for you to be fed decently because the Dursleys aren't doing it, and the neighbors don't seem to notice or care that Dudley has decent clothing and you're dressed in little better than rags. I dread to think what would happen if the Dursleys or their neighbors found out you were dumpster diving or had told the restaurant that you weren't being properly fed. Please be careful.

I miss having you here, it was nice having a friend to talk to and a place to go where there was someone to care when I had to leave the house because Mom was having a bad day and didn't know me. I miss hearing your opinions on things and seeing the joy you had in learning new things like I do.

As much as I miss you, though, I'm kind of glad now that you didn't stay, we've had a record cold snap and a few nights lately have been well below freezing, the meteorologists say we're going to have a colder than usual winter. Much too cold to be living in a drafty abandoned building. I would worry every time I visited that I'd find you sick from the cold or worse and while I know you used your power to start a fire and keep you warm one night you couldn't do it all the time without totally exhausting yourself and making yourself ill. I know that there are street people who live in the major cities in the north of the country and even some in Canada but there are always some who don't survive the winter every year, and you being so small and thin would be in danger even here. Not to mention all the other dangers that can befall a child without someone to look out for them.

School continues as per normal, it's a nuisance that it's too cold outside for people to sit and eat because there isn't room enough for everyone indoors, one good thing about it is that it doesn't give the bullies the opportunity to catch me alone, I'm always surrounded and I don't think that they've realised yet that I'm surrounded by people who wouldn't do anything if one of us was attacked. Particularly if it were me, a lot of the other geeks, people who should be my friends because we have things in common, don't like being beaten out for top spot in class. They'd just put their heads down and hope to avoid notice, glad that it wasn't them this time. I really cannot complain, I'd probably do the same if one of them was targeted. Still for the time being the crowds in the halls everywhere and us geeks keeping together is a deterrent, and we are all taking as much advantage of it as possible.

I'm making slow progress with learning Russian, and it is starting to frustrate me a little. My brain keeps trying to read the letters in English, and confusing me.

Mom is doing pretty well for this time of year. I know they say depression is seasonal and the reduced access to sunlight makes it worse, there's no proven correlation with sunlight and schizophrenia but she does always seem better in the warmer months of the year. Thank goodness we live in Nevada where it's sunny all the time even when it isn't that warm. There's a greater tendency for her to remain snuggled up in bed all day when it's cold and we can't afford to run the heater all day every day for the next three months. I can't blame her for not wanting to get out, I try to get her to rug up and come for a walk with me but it is difficult.

Your friend

Spencer

A/N: To clear up any confusion. Spencer is American and he writes dates the American way M/D/Y.

Harry is British and writes his dates the British way D/M/Y. Therefore, Spencer's letter the 10/11/89 was before not after Harry's reply 22/10/98.

A/N2: Thank you to all those who reviewed followed or favourited this story for your support.