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Saturday 24/11/90
Dear Spencer,
I'm sorry that I can't come to live near you too, I wish it was possible, I would like it above anything but you did raise some good points. I don't want to risk the few friends and protections from the Dursley's abuse that I do have here if getting away is not going to work. I'm really worried though, with my powers so weak they're not going to be able to protect me from Vernon or Dudley or heal me afterwards if I get injured.
The one thing that I really really don't want to risk is having someone come and mess with your memory. It's too special and who knows what they'd do to you if the standard way of making people forget didn't work. I think you should probably stop writing to me just to be safe. I will miss your letters, they are the best thing in my life, but I couldn't bear it if you got hurt because of me, if they managed to take your incredible memory away the whole world would end up worse off because I just know that one day you are going to do something amazing with it.
I'm a terrible friend, so not writing to me anymore shouldn't be too much of a loss but I'm very sorry that I missed your birthday. I had been making you something before I was injured and I sent it today so you should have it in a week or so. It's a beginner cook book with all the steps explained in as much detail as I can. All my favourite easy meals and things that I make for the Dursleys, well the things that are at least a little bit healthy and some of the pizza recipes that I helped test out for the restaurant. I didn't send you the recipe to make pizza base as it's a bit too complicated for a beginner to learn from a book, but you can buy premade bases in the refrigerated section of the supermarket.
I will remember you as my first friend for the rest of my life no matter what they do to my mind, I will miss you Spencer but your safety is more important to me than letters. I will understand if you don't write again. Please take care of yourself. Stay safe and grow up to do all the wonderful things I know you're capable of. Remember me while you still can and maybe if we're lucky, one day in the future I will know who's doing all this and find a way to make them stop. Then I will try to find you again and hopefully you will still want to be my friend.
You said you were worried about me not being healed until I left the house, that someone who wanted me to live should have come and healed me as soon as I was injured and you're right, they took a hell of a risk that I would be able to heal myself enough to escape. For that I owe you my life. If I hadn't come to Las Vegas and met you, and trusted you enough to tell you about what was happening around me, I wouldn't've learned that it was possible to use my power thing on command and how to feel it and I hadn't started to try to use it everyday to stop it building up enough to escape my control then I wouldn't have known to keep trying to heal myself or been able to unlock the cupboard door. I wouldn't have got out and I wouldn't have been healed and had my memories of the assault and the escape stolen. I would have died in that cupboard, I have read enough medical books in the last week to know I not only had a compound fracture of a rib poking through the skin, the other end of the rib punctured my lung.
One other thing I have realised though, is that whoever did this never stopped me from using my powers to make my life easier at the Dursleys. They didn't try to limit them when I was using them to make light, healing myself, using them to clean things I couldn't reach, fix things or unlocking the door to get out into the rest of the house and steal food, even once when I used them to make Dudley go to sleep before Vernon got home when I knew he was going to tell Vernon something that would make him beat me, they never tried to stop me. They only reacted when I left the house injured and didn't intend to come back. That means that they're not keeping a close eye on what happens inside the house. Or at least they weren't before. Maybe because what happens to my power in the house would happen to theirs as well? Maybe they can't do anything inside the house.
Hopefully that means if I can get my powers to work enough to unlock the door again they won't do anything about it. I remember when I first came back from Vegas I was practicing doing things every day trying to stop the power from building up until it came out without my control and it sort of worked but the power got stronger the more I used it so if I work on it maybe it will get stronger again, and of course I spent all day Saturday out of the neighbourhood so Saturday night I had the power to unlock the door just after Vernon went up to bed though I felt horribly weak afterwards and worried that I wouldn't be able to lock it behind me afterwards, thought thankfully desperation gave me the surge I needed in the end. So I am stocked up on snacks again to go with the snacks I brought back from the restaurant. Even if Petunia stops feeding me again, I won't starve this week at least. I need to find a way to stock up during the day when I'm not locked in.
Your friend
Harry
Spencer's first reaction was that Harry was giving up on their friendship. One more person in his life leaving him with just a letter saying goodbye for no adequate reason. But when he read it through again he realised that Harry didn't want to stop writing to him. He just thought that Spencer would be safer if they did and was trying to protect his friend. To warn Spencer and give him the choice. He could see smudges where the ink had run and when he touched his tongue to one of them he tasted tears. Even suggesting that they stop writing to each other had made Harry cry. It wasn't until he realised this, that he noticed that Harry wasn't the only one. Spencer had tears running down his face as well. Their friendship was too important to both of them to be easily given up.
He cried for a while then calmed down and tried to think rationally about the level of danger he'd put himself in, writing to Harry, but realised he couldn't begin to calculate it. Without knowing who was doing this to Harry, what their motivation was and what the limits to their power was there was no real way to know if he was safe or not. Or whether he was already in danger and it no longer mattered if he kept writing or not, someone was already on their way to make him forget Harry. He thought about ways to make himself safer. Harry knew his address but he wouldn't willingly tell anyone so Spencer was safe where he was at the moment. He knew that the postal service said it was wrong not to put a return address on an envelope but if anyone found the restaurant and the letter waiting for Harry to pick up it would be better if it didn't tell them how to find him. would that be enough? Perhaps they should limit their correspondence to mundane matters and not discuss Harry's power thing or that they believed something was going on with Harry and the Dursleys' memories being altered or limits being put on his abilities. That way if someone did read his letter, they would have no reason to think they needed to look for Spencer.
Spencer realised this might work but it would also still be depriving Harry of the confidant he needed to help him deal with what was going on. He might as well stop writing if they stopped being honest with each other.
A/N: Thank you to all those who reviewed followed or favourited this story for your support.