Slipping down to the far end of the garden Jayden felt a rush of excitement as Delilah grabbed his hand and pulled him into a semi-secluded area, Airyl huffing softly at being relegated to guard duty. They shared a brief kiss, his disappointment at its brevity pushed aside at the serious expression on her face.

"I want to go to Orzammar. I intend to put my case to Cailan in a few moments." Delilah flushed at his searching gaze. "I want to contribute something meaningful. You know my experience in the Gauntlet."

"And you still feel you have to prove you're not like your father?" He gently took her hand at her sigh. "Delilah." He waited until she looked at him. "You are nothing like your father, but if you need to prove it I understand that. The Wardens are targets however and you need to understand what that means."

"It means I might have to fight and … and kill." She shuddered remembering the cultists whose lives she had taken.

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"I would prefer not to kill anyone again, but I will not stand by and do nothing when our country is falling apart and if anyone attacks us I will do what I must."

"Then assuming you will join us, we will continue training on the journey."

"Thank you for not telling me I have to stay behind unlike my brother, Warin and Fergus." She sighed softly. "That is why I am going to Cailan, he outranks them all of course. I only hope he is more amenable." She frowned at Jayden's smile. "It is alright for you, no-one is going to stop you going anywhere!"

"I beg to differ. I have been ordered by the King to stay away from Denerim; despite Anora's apparent insistence that I go there immediately. On top of that Fergus wanted to stop me going to Orzammar; since finding out who I am he has become annoyingly protective. Luckily for me Cailan was for the idea." He smiled at Delilah's frown. "You're wondering why Cailan is letting me leave Rainesfere at all."

"Well yes given he knows who you are, it seems odd."

"I suspect things would be more comfortable for him spending time with his son if his wife's brother is not around."

Delilah bit her lip. "Does he know you know?"

"I don't think so."

"Perhaps you should tell him."

"This is his business Delilah not mine, he will tell me or not in his own time."

"I suppose. So many secrets, how do you keep them all straight in your head?"

"Practice I suppose." They glanced to Airyl who whined softly.

"I suppose that is my cue." Smiling Delilah pressed her lips quickly to his before taking her leave.

Leaning against the wall Jayden sighed softly. "I'm so tired of secrets Airyl." He smiled as she gently nosed his hand.

xXx

Settling in a chair beside Delilah, Cailan smiled. "You wanted to talk."

"I do, Cailan I wish to accompany the group going to Orzammar."

"Why in the Void would you want to do that?"

"I need to prove myself worthy. During the Gauntlet at Haven I was confronted by a future version of me and she said she was my father's right hand." She shuddered. "I am not like my father, but the Gauntlet showed me my fear and I have to prove myself worthy of the trust Holy Andraste has placed in me."

"What trust?"

Swallowing painfully Delilah wiped at the tears she suddenly realised were slipping down her cheeks. "If I had failed the test I would have been locked in that room for eternity. I swore to her I was not like my father, that I would never fall to darkness as he has. How can I prove that to her if I remain hidden behind these walls? For faith to mean anything it must be tested. I have to prove that my words were truth. I have to stand against the darkness."

"You do not need to go to Orzammar to do that."

"And what will I do here? Walk the gardens trying not to think of what my father will do next? I must have purpose Cailan, please."

"Delilah being with the Wardens is dangerous."

"We are in a Blight, everywhere is dangerous. Besides with the Darkspawn on the surface Orzammar is probably the safest place to be right now."

Cailan hesitated, unable to deny the logic. "That is as maybe, however Fergus has sworn to keep you safe and he cannot ensure that if you are parted; not to mention your own brother and his natural feelings of responsibility towards you."

Delilah drew herself up in the seat. "I am aware. However at Haven I was forced to protect myself and others and I survived. If it was Ellowyn sitting here she would get to go and do you know why? Because she is fierce, courageous and she would not take no for an answer and neither will I! We must each play our part in this dark time Cailan." She sighed in frustration. "Must I beg?"

"I suspect I will not be able to deter you from this course will I?" He worried at his lip as she shook her head. "Very well, but you cannot go without some protection. William has business in Orzammar, I could assign him as your protector, but given your situation I suspect it would not be seen as appropriate."

"We are perfectly capable of controlling ourselves."

"I hope so for both of your sakes. Very well I suggest we speak to Fergus and your brother together; perhaps explaining your reasoning as you have done with me will help them to understand."

"Whatever it takes."

"Of course we will also need to clear it with the Warden Commander; I will arrange a separate meeting with him."

"Thank you Cailan, I appreciate it."

"I only hope I do not live to regret this. Speaking of regrets, might I ask has William calmed down about the Ashes incident? I have not spoken of it to him."

Delilah flushed. "Yes I believe so, but I should have discussed it with him first and not assumed. He has had so much taken from him; it was foolish of me to do that."

"He mentioned I was angry with him before my injury but did not say why; do you know anything about it?"

Hesitating Delilah met Cailan's pleading gaze, feeling unable to remain silent given he was helping her. "I would imagine that was to do with having given him the order to retreat with the General and instead he remained on the battlefield." She winced at his shocked look.

"Why would he disobey my orders?"

"Oh Cailan even without your memories you should know the answer to that. He loves you; he would die to protect you."

Sighing softly Cailan rubbed his neck to ease the tension. "I … it is difficult to be told how close we were and yet have no memories, no tangible connection."

"Give it time, I have faith that your lost memories will return to you."

"I wish I had such faith." He smiled as she gently squeezed his hand.

"Speaking of connections." Delilah stated softly. "Lady Rosslyn seems very nice." She almost smiled at his cornered look at the swift transition in conversation.

"She is."

"And Gawain is adorable."

Cailan smiled unaware of the proud look on his face. "He is."

"Gawain is your son isn't he?"

"I … how ...?"

"I am not a fool Cailan." She leaned back into the chair. "And I distinctly remember suggesting it to you at one point."

"Excuse me?"

"Not Lady Rosslyn of course, but having a child out with your marriage."

"I do not understand. Did you know of the problems within my marriage?"

"Indeed."

Cailan gripped the arms of the chair edging forward slightly. "Delilah I need to know what happened. Nothing is working to return my memories and I need to know what went wrong in my marriage that I have a son with another woman."

"Senior Enchanter Wynne …."

"Has not found anything else to help me! Please Delilah. When did we speak of my marriage, what did I say?"

"We spoke of it at my brother's memorial."

Cailan paled. "Maker what kind of man am I that I would burden you at such a time?"

"It was not like that Cailan. As I said we were at Nate's memorial and as you might imagine emotions were intense. You wished to offer me condolences and I was glad of your company. We walked the battlements which gave us a little privacy. You looked burdened and sad beyond Nate's loss and I had heard rumours of your indiscretion. You admitted your evening with a woman you had recently met, but had come to consider a friend. You told me you believed Anora had betrayed you with another man and you had thought to create rumours to hurt her as you were hurting, but that night obviously became more."

"Did I tell you why I thought she had betrayed me?"

Sighing softly Delilah nodded. "You wanted children so badly, assumed that with marriage you would have a family of your own. When nature did not oblige and with Arl Eamon pressuring you to have an heir, you said you feared something was wrong with you and you had Enchanter Tyris test you. Obviously all was well. You said Anora was checked too and again all was well. Then while Anora was visiting Highever you discovered some herbs. You feared she was unwell and had them identified. They were to prevent conception." She clasped his hand as he paled. "You assumed she was using them because she was with another man. You … you knew you were not her first." She bit her lip at his startled look. "When her mother died she spent the night with Nate. They were in love and grieving and you forgave her because you loved her so very much, but the betrayal you spoke of was not another man, but that she was deliberately preventing conception."

"Why?" Cailan demanded horrified.

"You … you thought it might be because you were not Nate, but I do not know her true reason. You were angry with her, but you still loved her and you were worried because your Uncle Eamon was suggesting the marriage be ended."

"Did he know about the herbs?"

"I am not sure, you never said. It was then that I suggested that if you still loved her announce she could not conceive and have a child with another woman, therefore having your heir and remaining married to the woman you love, but perhaps things are different now."

Cailan wasn't sure what he felt, but anger was certainly there. "Things are very different." He muttered.

"Perhaps I should not have told you. I …"

"No, I am glad you did. I knew there had to be some reason I would remember Rosslyn's name and yet have no recollection I was even married. I think part of me does not want to remember her."

Delilah gently took his hand. "Then perhaps when you are ready to remember Anora, you will release the rest of your memories too."

"I must ask something of you, please do not mention Gawain being my son to J … William. I will speak to him myself, but when he returns from Orzammar."

"Cailan …"

"Please Delilah."

"Very well I will not tell him what we have discussed."

Cailan smiled in relief. "Thank you Delilah, truly."

xXx

Rathnal glanced from Cailan to Delilah who looked slightly pale and nervous but determined. "Your Majesty you wanted to speak to me." He knew fine well what the King wanted and despite his reservations he was going to agree, wondering if Duncan would have done the same.

"Yes I …"

"I wish to accompany you to Orzammar Warden Commander." Delilah interrupted in her anxiety, casting Cailan an apologetic look.

Eyebrow raising Rathnal met her gaze that became almost pleading. "Might I ask why?"

Delilah felt her cheeks flush, despite their discretion she felt as though he was looking right through her and assuming her reason was Jayden. Reluctantly she explained about her experience at Haven. "Added to that I am perfectly capable of looking after myself and I will not have my family dragged into the mud with our father. We need to help the Wardens and be seen doing it!"

"Forgive me, but what could you possibly add to the venture to Orzammar?"

Delilah felt her heart sink, in truth she realised there was very little she could add. She had no connections in Orzammar, but she was determined she was not going to be left behind. "My grandmother schooled me in the art of negotiation and diplomacy surely that is something you might find useful."

"You have an understanding of dwarven politics?"

"No, but I cannot imagine the rudiments of politics will differ that dramatically."

Rathnal could feel the King's gaze bore into him, but for the moment he ignored it, his heart racing. "Sereda is adept in dwarven politics; however, another perspective is always useful. My problem Lady Delilah is that I cannot guarantee your safety."

"I understand that and I do not expect your protection. What I need is to at least try and make right what my father has done. If he had not attacked Highever, if he had stood with Teyrn Cousland, the battle and therefore the war may have been won. We will never know, but I believe my father's actions were not only that of a traitor, but have directly led to the danger Ferelden now faces. Please, I have to try and make this right."

"What about your brother?"

"I have spoken to him again and while he is not happy he now fully understands my reasons. He and Warin will remain with Fergus, they know my father and his schemes better than I ever did, they have their way to contribute, I will not just stand by and do nothing. I do not like being apart from him, but this is important to me."

"I will assign William as her protector if that helps you to make your decision." Cailan interjected quickly giving him a look he hope conveyed that he should put Delilah out of her misery.

"Very well, but if having you with us causes us trouble I will send you back here is that understood?"

"Perfectly Warden Commander."

"Thank you." Cailan stated as Delilah slipped from the room.

"This really does not sit well." Rathnal muttered.

"I understand and am grateful."

Rathnal nodded, there was the reason he was truly allowing it and because he had a feeling in the days to come he was going to need the King on his side.

xXx

Wynne could barely believe it when she heard who would be travelling to Orzammar. She had no idea who to speak to and in desperation went to search out the Lady of the house hoping she would be able to help.

"I believe your attention is being sought." Rosslyn stated softly.

Turning Loretta smiled warmly showing no hint of her nerves about being in the company of a mage without a Templar at her side. "Senior Enchanter Wynne is something amiss?"

"Actually it is a rather delicate matter I am hoping you can help with."

"If I can I will. What is the problem?"

"I thought as nobility yourself you might speak with Lady Delilah. It appears she has a … attraction to Captain William, one I believe he shares. While I have broached my concerns with her, she brushed them aside. I thought to go to her brother, but I believe the Captain saved his life so I am not sure he would be the best to alert to this situation."

Loretta inwardly sighed remembering Teagan's concerns about him with Ellowyn. "Perhaps it is merely friendship. He is a very amiable young man."

"Indeed he is, but the looks from Lady Delilah towards him have nothing to do with friendship. Surely you can understand my concern. I believe he is the reason she is truly travelling to Orzammar and I fear for her virtue. If the young woman were to become with child out of wedlock it would ruin her."

Rosslyn felt a stirring of anger as she noted the fleeting sympathetic look the mage gave to her. "Perhaps she simply finds the Captain attractive. That does not mean anything is happening between them."

"My Lady given your own situation I would have expected you to wish to prevent such unfortunate circumstances for another young woman."

"Senior Enchanter!" Loretta stated icily. "Lady Rosslyn's circumstances are of no concern to you and I will thank you not to make assumptions when you do not know the facts."

Wynne paled and looked suitably ashamed. "Forgive me my Lady I did not wish to cause offence. I simply want to prevent a potentially difficult situation. I do not believe they have been completely intimate, in fact I doubt they have done more than kiss, but these are intense times and that can lead to inappropriate choices. There can be no future for them after all with Lady Delilah being betrothed to the General's son. It is a situation that surely you agree must be prevented. "

Loretta sighed in frustration."I will consider the most appropriate way to take this forward Senior Enchanter."

"Thank you my Lady."

Watching Wynne walk away Loretta turned to Rosslyn. "Makers breath why bring this to me?"

Rosslyn stared after the mage thoughtfully. "Because you have the influence with the relevant people that she does not; how do you intend to take this forward?"

"Carefully."

"Speaking of which." Rosslyn murmured nodding towards the training yard where Delilah was sparring. "They do make a handsome couple despite the situation. Do you know the Captain well?"

"A little only, but he is Alistair's dear friend." She sighed softly. "Teagan believed he and Lady Cousland were romantically involved, but it was nothing more than friendship, but I believe I see what Wynne sees in her looks towards him. They are indeed treading dangerous ground; I would not like to get on the wrong side of the Mac Tir's." She winced seeing the anxiety in Rosslyn's eyes. "I did not mean … all will be well Rosslyn, you and Gawain will be cared for, but as regards Lady Howe, if anything happens between them it will be William who will suffer for it."

"Well we cannot have that."

Loretta chuckled. "No, I suppose we cannot. I will speak to my husband."

xXx

Pacing the room Fergus felt his gut churn. "This is exactly why I was against Delilah going to Orzammar in the first place!"

Teagan smiled slightly. "I thought it was your concern about her father sending men for her."

"That too obviously." Fergus muttered. "But there is clearly something going on given the information Loretta received from the Senior Enchanter! We cannot send Delilah unescorted with her betrothed!"

"They have come this far without needing an escort." Cailan murmured, uncomfortably aware that with his own situation he was probably not the best choice to be supporting Delilah's cause.

"That is not the point." Fergus muttered.

Teagan rubbed his forehead; things were becoming more and more complicated. "It seems Delilah is adamant that she is going to Orzammar and she gave some reasonable reasons why. If the Warden Commander has no objections then we really have no authority to demand she remain; I would not have her a prisoner here. Therefore I suggest a compromise, she is acquainted with Sister Leliana given they travelled to Haven together. The Sister has proven her skill with a weapon and as a Sister she is perfect to … watch over her. I am on good terms with Mother Greta and she and Loretta get on very well. I am sure we can make arrangements."

Fergus relaxed only slightly. "Maker I hope we are not making a mistake in allowing this. I think we should make a few things clear to Jay ..." He snarled at his slip. "To William."

xXx

Tess sighed softly. "You always seem to be going places without us."

"I have my orders just as you do Tess, besides I get to go back to Orzammar." Jayden couldn't help the smile.

"You are a Captain not a babysitter." She flushed as his smile became a frown. "I'm sorry I just … bloody nobles."

Jayden bit his lip in an attempt to hide his amusement, chuckling as she slapped his arm. "Relax Tess I am going to Orzammar to see a friend of Brother Genitivi to see if the dwarves can help us with a swift and safe way to communicate with Denerim. Besides Lady Delilah is doing well in her training, it will hardly be a chore to continue it on the way."

"I suppose. Do you know how rare Calling Crystals are and I suppose the treasure you brought back is going to pay for them?" She shook her head as he smiled. "You should never have given it up, you could have bought your own damn castle!"

"Maybe I already have a castle."

Rolling her eyes Tess refrained from hitting his arm again. "I just don't understand you sometimes."

"Tell me what is eating at you Tess; I'm not a mind reader."

"I just … I just worry about you." She couldn't bring herself to express her fears that the nobility were using him, smiling as he gently hugged her.

"I will be back before you know it and I promise I will be careful."

"Just make sure you are."

He glanced up to the room Darrien was in knowing Gabriel spent every moment he was not on duty with him.

Tess followed his gaze and nudged him gently. "The Senior Enchanters magic seems to be helping, he feels a little more each day."

"Yes and all of it painful." Jayden muttered. "I wish Lord Darrien would just use the Ashes; they would heal him immediately I know they would."

"If your roles were reversed would you take them given how dangerous things are becoming? No you wouldn't!" She stated before he could protest. "You would push through the pain because you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if the Ashes were needed for a more dire situation. Neither can he."

Sighing Jayden nodded. "Fine, but I still think he should use them." He forced a smile as Tess nudged him hard almost knocking him off balance. "Hey!"

"You might be my Captain, but I am still going to tell you when to stop being an idiot." She suddenly moved closer linking his arm and squeezing gently. "I love that you care so much about us Will really I do, but you have to let people travel their own paths, just as we have to let you travel yours." She smiled at the hug, always feeling safe with him. Please Maker bring him back to us without any of the usual trouble, please.

xXx

"I'm glad you don't have to go to Orzammar." Oren stated happily, jumping on Aedan and hugging him.

Aedan grinned, he had never had so many hugs from his nephew and he cherished each one.

"We can spar every day because I need to keep up my training."

Aedan winced. "Oren I won't be staying here either. I need to scout south with some of the other Wardens."

Oren froze. "But that's where the Darkspawn are!"

Oriana sighed inwardly. "Oren you know your uncle is a Warden."

"That doesn't mean he has to go looking for them!" Oren protested, turning to his mother.

"Actually that is exactly what it means." Aedan stated gently, feeling sick at Oren's wide eyed horrified gaze. "We need to find out what they are doing. There are a lot of people between the Wilds and Rainesfere and if we can warn them we should." Pulling the broach from his pocket Aedan placed it in Oren's hand. "As long as I am wearing that, the Darkspawn can't find me."

"Really?"

"Unless they are looking right at me." Aedan smiled as Oren carefully tucked it back into his pocket.

"When are you going?"

"The day after tomorrow, so we can train tomorrow if you would like."

Oren's eyes lit up. "Yes please." Snuggling against his uncle he sighed softly. "I wish you weren't leaving again."

"Me too." Aedan murmured hugging him tight.

"Uncle Dan?"

"Mmmm?"

"Is Warden Ayanna going with you?"

Unable to help the smile Aedan nodded. "Technically I am going with her, she is Warden Constable after all."

Oren sat up smiling happily. "Then I know you will definitely come back."

"Oh?"

"Warden Ayanna is awesome and she kept us safe and she is really powerful."

"Yes she is."

"Uncle Dan are you going to marry her someday?"

Staring into his nephew's earnest gaze Aedan felt an ache he usually managed to keep at bay; the reality that he would never have a family of his own with the woman he loved, but marriage, maybe that was something they could have. "Do you think I should?"

Oren nodded a smile lighting his eyes. "Then she would be family too and that would be awesome!"

xXx

Slipping into the stables Delilah smiled knowing Jayden would be checking over the horses before their journey the following morning. She felt warmth fill her at his smile.

"So, Orzammar. You clearly persuaded Cailan to help you."

"They have obviously spoken to you about me joining the group."

Jayden grinned realising what she wanted to know. "Only the demand that I protect you and ensure your virtue remains intact." He leaned over and kissed her cheek feeling the heat of her blush.

"Damn Wynne, as though we have no self-control! Did you know they are making Sister Leliana come with us to chaperone me? The poor woman has just had to transfer to Rainesfere and now she is expected to travel to Orzammar. Maker knows what people will think!"

"I spoke to her earlier; I think she is rather looking forward to it. The travel I mean, not the chaperoning."

"Why are you not angry about this, or the very least irritated?" She turned slightly, gently running her hand over Luna's nose.

"Because if things were as they should be it would be no different, were you to visit Gwaren or I to visit Amaranthine you would be chaperoned."

"That is not the point." Delilah grumbled.

"Then what is?"

"I …" She sighed softly. "I like spending time with you … alone."

Smiling Jayden drew her to him and kissed her gently. "I am sure we can still steal a few moments alone every now and again."

Delilah sighed softly. "I suppose we can. I shall just have to get on Leliana's good side, persuade her not to interfere too much." She snuggled against his chest contentedly; pulling away as she heard someone calling her name. "Makers sake." She muttered, pressing a quick kiss to Jayden's lips before she strode out of the stables.

Jayden glanced to Airyl who whined softly. "Maker you're worse than Wynne."

Airyl huffed softly lying down, her tail swishing in the hay.

xXx

As dawn broke the following morning the group set out for Orzammar, the horse's eager to be moving sensing the nervous tension.

Delilah glanced back at her brother and Warin and smiled, relieved when Thomas smiled back. He was afraid for her, but having finally told him the truth of what happened in the Gauntlet he had stopped trying to fight her leaving. He understood all too well the need to prove they were not allied with their father or like him in any way. They had spent much of the night speaking of their memories of Nathaniel, imagining what part he would be playing in unfolding events, knowing he would be at Fergus's side and that was where Thomas said would remain. He had already sworn himself to Fergus, but knew he still needed to prove himself, after all his father had sworn himself to Bryce and then had him slaughtered. She glanced to Jayden for once not annoyed that Morrigan rode with him. The mage would scout ahead as usual and despite the bond Morrigan and Jayden shared, Delilah knew they were forging their own and she had no doubt theirs would be the stronger.

Thomas felt his stomach clench as the estate gates closed; he wished Delilah had stayed, but could not fault her reason for going.

"William will protect her." Warin stated softly.

Thomas smiled slightly knowing it was true. "Still I wish she was remaining here with us." He turned as Fergus joined them.

"Come, we have work to do."

Nodding Thomas gave a last look to the gates and beyond before he followed Fergus back inside. His father would not be resting so neither could he.

xXx

Author Note: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed.