Chapter 45

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Sunday 1/6/91

Dear Harry

Thanks for the biscotti. You're right I would've called them cookies. They were still delicious, though a little dry, we ate them dipped in coffee which is probably how the Italians eat them most of the time anyway. Thanks for the fruit cake too, it was still really moist and lovely. Much better than store bought cakes, and I enjoyed the 'White Christmas' though I'd never heard of it before. I shared them with Mom and she loved them too. I'm on the train back to school, and really looking forward to the new semester. I got into all of my top choices for classes which the older guys in my house told me not to expect as it's really rare, especially as I'm doing more subjects than normal so it would be harder to fit into the schedule.

I'm beginning to think the train conductors recognise me, just like I've always believed that the waitresses at the buffet recognised me but they're ignoring me. They've never once asked me for a ticket. The train is a lot more comfortable than the bus and being able to travel free lets me go home more than I could otherwise without making compromises on meals and coffee. I think Mom was glad to have me home for the whole two weeks even if we didn't celebrate Christmas. She had a good week, took her medications. We didn't see much of her friends and relatives, though someone, I think it was probably Aunt Ethel, had left us a refrigerator full of meals to heat up for the first few days. Like I expected they were glad to have the two weeks off but I have to admit that they are doing an adequate job of looking after her during the week when I'm at school and they probably deserved the break.

I wasn't able to find The Changeover' or 'Robinsheugh' at my hometown library, but I will look again in the library at school and the public library near there when I get back from holidays. I did find and read 'All the Impossible Things', though I don't know what to tell you about it. It was entertaining but I'm not sure how well the author knew the foster care system, or if it is just one person's experience of it. I also found 'The Ghost by the Sea' by Eileen Dunlop. It was like you said deliciously creepy. She writes very well, it's only after you put the book down that you stop believing that it could've happened. I'm surprised you aren't giving yourself nightmares. I have read 'Oliver Twist too, years ago and I quite enjoyed it, you're right I don't think things have changed for the better for the homeless young people on the streets, if anything the story is a bit sanitised since it doesn't really go into rape, child prostitution, drug addiction or the other horrible things that can happen to children without someone looking out for them on the streets, and I don't believe it would really have been better then, just better hidden from those who didn't want to notice.

It feels strange to be home for more than one or two nights, I keep feeling like it's time to leave to go back to school, as much as I'm enjoying spending time with Mom when she's well I do miss school. I miss classes and my studies, not that I haven't been studying here, I did bring home a full bag of books, more surprisingly I miss the dorms, not just Ethan but the others too and my classmates, the ones I sit by regularly. And being home makes me miss you more too. I went to the hideout the other day and I swear I was nearly expecting you to be there. I read the books that you recommended to me and I wanted you there to talk to about it to really get your thoughts and impressions as you read 'Oliver Twist'. Letters can only reveal so much since they lack the immediacy of conversation, though sometimes I find it easier to write things that deeply affect me emotionally, than it would be to say them because I don't have to put up a front with you It's an odd juxtaposition. I find it with writing to Mom too, though I have to be a lot more careful not to trigger an episode when I'm not there to watch her expression as she hears what I'm saying.

On the plus side I have enjoyed some of the familiar things from home, we went to Binion's for dinner last night, after the decorations came down, and Mom really enjoyed it. I haven't seen any of my former classmates even though most of them that left the area were probably home for the holidays as well. I went to our buffet one day while Mom was sleeping too, and actually bought a plate. Believe it or not I had more trouble getting in on my own properly than I used to have sneaking in with families. You should have seen the expression on the server's face. It was one who I never had trouble getting in when she was on the door. I guess that's confirmation that she knew what I was doing the whole time.

I'm sorry that you didn't get to enjoy Christmas, and that Vernon's sister made things harder for you to get out and spend time with the people at the restaurant that care about you. I'm glad that the dog didn't manage to bite you this time. Perhaps you could poison it. I've read that antifreeze (

The green stuff you add to water in the car's radiator) is lethal to dogs and they love the taste of it so he'd eat all the evidence. I probably shouldn't be encouraging you to harm the dog, or I should at least feel more guilty than I do for doing it, but if it has been trained to bite children then it should be put down, there's no chance of it ever being safe around them and if you're not around it too often then it's probably been trained to bite someone else as well for the training to hold so effectively between visits.

Did you ever consider that perhaps the thing on the house to stop you using your power isn't wearing off like you think it is? Perhaps, just like last year when using the power every day made you get better at making it do what you wanted, using it every day against the resistance of the house has helped your power learn to overcome it? I don't know whether it's making your power stronger or just better at resisting whatever is limiting its use in the Dursleys house and neighborhood.

Your friend

Spencer

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