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Spencer read the letter in a state of shock, and sat there almost shaking with emotion. He'd almost lost Harry. Harry had almost been seriously injured or even killed and there's nothing he could've done about it. He couldn't be there for him, or visit in the hospital and let him know someone actually cared what happens to him. He was so far away that if harry had been hurt he wouldn't even hear about it until he was well enough to write again, if he ever was. Hogwarts was dangerous and he'd known that, on some level. They'd known that it was highly likely that the Headmaster was an enemy and still he hadn't tried to dissuade Harry from going there. He should have encouraged him to find a way to run away. To use the money in his vault to get far enough away that whoever was determined to keep him at the Dursleys couldn't find him. He certainly should never have encouraged Harry to go to Hogwarts for a chance at learning magic. Harry could be killed and he wouldn't even know.
Spencer was surprised to feel that the idea of Harry dying was almost as painful as the idea that his mother might die during one of her episodes, something that had given him nightmares for years.
-o0o-
Spencer woke during the night gasping for breath and being shaken by Ethan. "What?" he asked shocked and still trembling in fright, looking around for the threat.
"You were crying in your sleep, yelling for Harry. Has something happened to your friend?" Ethan explained curiously.
"He's okay but he was very nearly seriously injured by something that happened at school? I got the letter about it this afternoon and I guess my mind's subconsciously worried what if he hadn't been okay. He doesn't have any grown ups he can count on, and I'm too far away to help him," Spencer said still crying a little.
"Is he being bullied? He didn't ring you for help?" Ethan asked.
"He couldn't, the school only allow phone calls to family," Spencer lied not wanting to try to explain a school totally disconnected from the nonmagical world when he couldn't tell him about magic.
"That's why he writes so often, but what about email. Surely he's not such a luddite as you?" Ethan asked teasingly.
"More than me. I doubt Harry's ever touched a computer except perhaps to dust his cousin's or uncle's," Spencer said frowning.
"You said he didn't have a grown up he could trust. What happened to his parents? And why would you think he can't trust his teachers?"
"Harry's parents were killed when he was a baby and his Aunt took him in unwillingly for the money they get from his trust fund. Harry doesn't trust teachers because the teachers at his elementary school ignored the signs of abuse all his life," Spencer said sighing.
"Is he being bullied at school?" Ethan asked.
"Not at this school, his cousin doesn't go there but he was at his old school and the teachers ignored that too," Spencer said.
"Then what happened?" Ethan asked.
"There was an accident and Harry accidentally put himself in much more danger than he realised trying to help a friend," Spencer replied sighing. "How am I supposed to convince him to value his own life when nobody else ever has before?"
"Tell him how you're feeling, how afraid you are when you hear about him taking risks. How much it will devastate you if he's hurt or killed," Ethan said thoughtfully. "Invite him here or home with you for the summer to let him know he's important to you. That he has a place other than back to his Aunt's to go to."
"Thanks Ethan," Spencer replied wishing that he could invite Harry home with him. He was going to have to spend the summer in Vegas and he would love it if Harry came, but Harry would have to camp out in the hideout which really wasn't an appropriate home for an eleven year old.
Friday 11/15/91
Dear Harry
What on earth was a 12-foot-tall mountain troll doing wandering around your school attacking students?! Isn't there some sort of magic to keep monsters like that out of the school? And why were you and Ron the ones who had to collect Hermione? There's got to be twenty teachers and hundreds of students older than you with more training in magic. Surely as soon as you knew where she was you could have told someone instead of rushing headfirst into danger. Harry don't you know how much danger you put yourself in.
I know I shouldn't rant at you and that you didn't think you were putting yourself at risk but it gave me nightmares, that one day you're just going to stop replying to my letters and I'll never know if you just lost interest in answering my letters or something terrible has happened to you and you've been killed. Please try to stay out of trouble and try to trust your professors to look after you and the other students. I know it's hard for you to trust adults after your relatives' abuse and the way all your neighbours and the teachers in your old school ignored your problems and needs but these aren't the same teachers who deliberately ignored your mistreatment and injuries, please give them a chance to keep you safe.
I've also been thinking about your new friend Hermione, though I hesitate to try to give you advice about her after lecturing you about the troll and taking risks. I don't want you to start thinking of me as a nagging older brother like Mycroft Holmes. But my first thought about Hermione was that perhaps she is acting like she knows everything because she feels so insecure. She wears her intelligence like armour. I used to be one of those kids who liked answering questions too, until it was beaten out of me. It seems your friend might be a bit oblivious to what's going on around her not to have learned that her behaviour incites the bullying. Not that I'm saying that she deserved it. Nobody does. But if her bullies were the same as mine and most of them are, her determination to prove that she's the smartest kid in in the grade would have made them exponentially more vicious. If she's still doing it at Hogwarts it means she hasn't learned from her experiences, and if the only people that were listening to her back then were teachers and her parents then she hasn't learned how to talk to her peers. It's going to be difficult to teach her how to be a friend, but you succeeded in befriending me, and I'm sure I was just as awkward and you seemed to have no difficulty in listening to me ramble on about things you didn't understand. You're right that it's odd that she doesn't want to continue her nonmagical education but maybe the school bullying was a lot worse than she's said and she doesn't want anything that reminds her of her previous school so maybe you should just drop the subject until she's willing to bring it up herself.
"I'm so glad you're safe and I'm glad you're befriending Hermione. It sounds like she needs a friend who will stand up for her, and stand up to her too, if necessary. Just be yourself with her. If she and Ron don't like you the way you are then they don't deserve to be your friends.
I don't hear you talk about Dean much, is he your friend? His mother is doing us such a huge favour I would hate to hear that you don't like each other. And the other two boys in your dorm? What are they like now you know them a little better?
Your Friend Always
Spencer
A/N: Thank you to all those who reviewed followed or favourited this story for your support.
