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Friday 12/13/91
Harry James Potter, what on earth is going on at that school. It's supposed to be a safe place for eleven year olds to live and learn magic, not a wild animal and creature exhibit. If I was a parent hearing all you've told me I would be sending a very firm letter to your headmaster and if I was a wizard that very firm letter would also be a letter to the school board, or the education department. Unfortunately, I cannot do that because I think we need to hide my presence in your life so we're both not spelled to forget each other. I don't think whoever is trying to control your life would like the influence I have in encouraging you to think independently and to take notice of what's going on around you and to consider other people's motives in their actions. You're not the timid little shut in, grateful that the wizarding world has rescued you from a life of abuse that they wanted you to be. And while most of that is due to your efforts to learn as much about the world as you could I would like to take some credit in encouraging you.
I did think of writing to Mrs Thomas and asking her to complain to the headmaster but from what you've told me about the prejudice against nonmagical people and children from nonmagical families I don't think it would do much good and I don't want to bring Mrs Thomas under suspicion or attract the wrong attention towards her either. Maybe you should subtly encourage your pureblood friends to write to their parents about the dangers.
But Harry, you must know that I don't want you to try to stay safe for my sake. I want you to be as safe as possible so you don't get hurt for your own sake. I want you to grow up and fall in love, get married and have a family and do all the other things that you'd miss out on if you get yourself killed. I want you to be able to one day find out who sent you back to the Dursleys and to make sure he can never hurt you again and be safe. And I know you're not going to want to hear this but if the way to be safe is to leave Hogwarts and the Dursleys and disappear then I want you to do it. I would love if you disappeared over here so I could see you and keep an eye on you, but whatever you do I would like you to keep in touch with me if you think it's safe to do so. Nothing should matter more to you than being alive and well.
I've been having nightmares that you were seriously hurt and needed someone to look after you and there wasn't anybody to do it. If you need me Harry send for me and I will try my best to get to you. Of course, I probably couldn't get into the magical world on my own and if you had someone you trusted enough to come and get me then you'd probably let them look after you in the first place but I do mean it. If you need me I would be happy to bring you here and care for you. Ethan would let you hide here in the dorm, he's getting sick of my nightmares waking him up.
Promise me that you'll leave whatever is going on with that trapdoor alone. DO NOT go looking for more trouble. Remember you promised me to try to stay safe. I worry about you Harry and I care about you. Keep your head down Harry and stick to your school work and your friends and that insane sport you've become involved in. surely Quidditch is enough to satisfy your cravings for an adrenalin rush. And I thought football (our football not yours) was stupidly dangerous to let kids your age play, Quidditch is beyond all rational behaviour. I know that you said magical healing is much quicker and more effective than traditional medicine but I'm sure it still can't cure brain dead or quadriplegia from a broken neck. Please be careful.
I'm glad that you're trying to be Hermione's friend but saddened that you think you need to change yourself for her friendship. YOU DON'T. It was a hard lesson for me to learn but no friendship or relationship is worth having to pretend to be someone you're not. That's why your friendship is so precious to me. Even when you didn't understand what I was rambling on about you still accepted me exactly as I am.
For me it wasn't a friend that I tried to change who I was for, it was my Dad. I tried so hard to be the kid he wanted me to be. The one who played sports and had friends. I tried and tried and tried. I tried so hard it was hurting me, and still he left. At first, I used to think if only I'd tried a bit harder he would have stayed or at least visited me like most other divorced fathers. But the truth is that I couldn't try any harder, and if I wasn't good enough for him just the way I was I would never have been good enough for him no matter what I did. So, if Hermione or Ron or any other friends doesn't want to be friends with Harry James Potter then it is their loss, because you my friend are the best friend anyone has ever had and you don't need to change a single thing to make yourself more worth being friends with!
Changing to suit other people will only hurt you in the long run Harry, please don't think you need friends that badly. You're a great person, if your friends want you to change then you need to change friends.
Your best friend always,
Spencer
A/N: Thank you to all those who reviewed followed or favourited this story for your support.