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Friday 1/5/92
Dear Spencer
Ron and Hermione still aren't talking to me which I find reassuring, at least I know nobody has messed with their memories and I'm actually enjoying their absence. It's nice to just be myself without having to think about how other people will react to me. I know I still need to watch for outside influences with them as well but it's nice to not be nagged about studying more or for studying and reading too much and being too boring all the time.
I'm feeling guilty about not trying to stand up for my friends though, or at least for Neville, Hermione isn't proving to be much of a friend at the moment. Neville and Hermione came back from detention pale and shaking as if they'd been severely traumatised. I had no idea that detention at Hogwarts could be like that. I talked to my quidditch team mates, Fred and George love to pull pranks and get a lot of detentions and they told me that it depends on who supervises the detention and it's not always the person who gave it. They said McGonagall either makes you clean out the cages of her transfiguration specimens or gives you an essay on what you did wrong, Filch has you cleaning out the trophy room or scrubbing suits of armour, Snape has you scrubbing out cauldrons or preparing the most disgusting potions ingredients for him. I could see why a couple of hours of dissecting small animals to harvest their hearts and other parts would upset them but they seem more frightened. I don't know who tool their detention and I can't get what happened out of Neville, and Hermione isn't likely to speak to me again anytime soon unless someone interferes with her memories.
Don't worry, I'm not feeling guilty that I didn't get involved with moving the dragon up to the astronomy tower but I feel I should have confronted McGonagall about punishing my friends for taking care of something she was asked to do something about and ignored. Now that I've seen the aftermath of the detention, I feel that I should've said something. I'm not about to run off and dob myself in though, I don't know that it will do any good to say something now.
So I told you Hermione and Ron haven't forgiven me yet. Surprisingly, Neville wasn't angry at me refusing to carry the crate up to the astronomy tower, he only wishes that he'd been there when I refused because that might have given him the strength to stand up to Hermione and refuse as well. He agrees with me that Hagrid should have had to take the crate up to meet the people picking it up, though he admits that if Hagrid had done it, he wouldn't have had a problem going with him to make sure he handed the dragon over. That would still have got them out of the detention because Hagrid would have been there to explain what happened. He still should have done that anyway, once Hermione told him about the detention of course, but I learned the first day I met him that Hagrid's not big on taking responsibility for his mistakes. Professor McGonagall should have checked with him about the story too before confirming the detention. And Neville just told me since I wrote the start of the letter, that Hagrid supervised their detention rather than speaking up and took them into the forbidden forest! They spent their detention looking for something that's killing unicorns. Something in that forest is doing unspeakable evil to kill a unicorn and they take eleven year olds out looking for it at night? Forcing first years who've only just begun to learn to defend themselves with their wands out in the forest that's so dangerous that even the senior students aren't allowed in it in the day time with Hagrid who's not supposed to use magic at all and doesn't even have an unbroken wand. That's what frightened them so much, they found the monster drinking blood from a dying unicorn and it nearly killed them. They were saved by a centaur.
Um.. what you wrote… I want you to know it won't make any difference to me either, you don't have to tell me whether you like girls or boys, it doesn't matter to me you'll always be my best friend too. Not that I'd mind if you did tell me but it won't make any difference to our friendship. You're right I just don't know yet. I don't want to do those sort of things with boys or girls, and I'm a bit curious about it but I don't really think I want to look at a magazine with boys or men in it like that any more than Seamus's one with the women.
Thanks for the warning though, I think you might be right about it not being acceptable in the wizarding world. Since I got your letter I've been observing the older students. I haven't seen any obvious couples that are two boys or two girls so I can't tell whether it's accepted here and I don't want to ask. But I'm not sure I'd notice if someone was a couple and not just best friends unless I saw them holding hands or caught them kissing or coming out of a broom closet, which seems to be the traditional place to make out with someone which doesn't make a lot of sense considering how many unused corridors and classrooms there are in the castle. And I can't exactly ask, one thing I have realised about this world is that sex is never actually talked about. They don't even use sex words to swear, it's all 'bloody' and 'Merlin' or 'Merlin's pants'. I heard one of the sixth year girls call someone a 'scarlet woman' behind their back the other day, and the older years brag about snogging girls but no mention of anything more than that.
I've sent you my essays, and I don't mind you reading them and telling me what you think but I think I would rather know what a real teacher thinks of them for a student my age as well. I enjoyed writing them, you're right that the Hogwarts curriculum is all rote learning and it does get boring after a while. Hermione doesn't seem to mind it but I've heard one of the Ravenclaws complaining about it. She's muggleborn too and is thinking about going to summer school to catch up with her regular grade and not coming back to Hogwarts. Her parents have money so she plans to hire a tutor to help her learn magic when she's caught up with her nonmagical subjects. I tried to approach her to see if she wanted to borrow my English books and maybe study together but she thought I was making fun of her. I apologised but she doesn't trust me. I'm not sure why.
Your friend always
Harry
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