Chapter 79

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Monday 5/11/92

Dear Harry,

If you're glad that Ron and Hermione aren't talking to you then they're not your friends, and you aren't their friend either. Ron has absolutely no reason to be mad at you about what happened, you shouldn't forgive him this time unless he apologises properly and you should let him know that he cannot keep doing that to you. The next time he flies of the handle about something stupid your friendship will be over. I take it they still don't know about the letter you wrote to McGonagall?

As for Hermione, you didn't force her to carry that crate around in the middle of the night. In fact you reminded her of the option of having Hagrid at least help her to move the crate. The fact she received a detention is in no way your fault and being there with them wouldn't have made any difference. If she calms down and apologises and you do forgive her, you should sit down and explain to her exactly why you like studying with Neville, Dean and Seamus more than you do with her, make sure she understands that it's not because she's top of the class in so many subject or because she works so hard it's her attitude to you and your work. Tell her that you want to be her friend but that she needs to start acting like a friend and not a paid tutor, or that she's ten times smarter than you are when she's not. Give her a real chance to modify her behaviour because it sounds like she just doesn't notice the effect her attitude has on people around her. I know you might think I favour Hermione over your other friends because I had a lot of the same problems at school that she's had, and you're probably right to an extent. But this is the first time she's deliberately turned on you, and you're prepared to give Ron another chance. I promise this is the last time I will ask you to give her a second chance. If you explain things plainly to her and she still doesn't change then at least you can drop the friendship with a clear conscience that you did all you could for her. If she can't change then perhaps she is being influenced by someone, but I have to say that while that means her behaviour might not be her fault, it's still not in your best interests to keep putting up with it. Not to mention that if she is being influenced because of your friendship then the kindest thing for her might be to avoid her, then whoever is mucking about with her personality might leave her alone. At least whoever is doing this won't be able to mess with your other friend's personalities the way they might have with Ron and Hermione because you already know them and would notice if they suddenly changed and started to try to stop you from studying or reading. I'm going to speculate that if Ron and Hermione are being influenced to do that and it fails then whoever is doing it might try to find someway to make you stop wanting to learn as much as you can. Hopefully the occlumency practice you've done will be enough to stop that from working but as a safeguard I'm also going to try to remind you of the possibility if your letters ever seem to indicate you're not working as hard as you are now.

I read your essays and let me reassure you that I was impressed. But it isn't only me who thinks your essays are good. I read them before I gave them to one of the teachers at the local high school who promised to try to mark them for you. I think she regretted it when she saw how many there are but I told her there was no real rush on it, that you're not attending school or being officially home schooled just trying to learn on your own. I think she wanted to call the authorities because all children have the right to attend school and in fact all parents must send a child to school or be enrolled and assessed to home school under supervision from the department of education. I explained that you're in Scotland attending a school that teaches vocational subjects and stuff like herbal remedies but not reading and proper English education. I don't know if she bought it but she read through your work and agreed to mark a couple of essays each week starting with the most recent. I think she might have backed off because she thinks you're older than you are. So I'm sending back the one's she marked. She says to send anything you write after receiving these back, it will be more valuable for her to mark those than older stuff. You got really good marks for someone who hasn't attended any of the in-class discussions you'd normally have if you were taking the subject. I don't know why that girl wouldn't want to study with you unless it's something like Dean and Seamus, that she's not willing to study with Hermione or anyone who regularly works with her. Still it's her loss, I think having someone to study muggle things with would be good for both of you.

After hearing about the detention in the forest I'm more glad than ever that you stood your ground and refused to break curfew to do something Hagrid should have done himself. You're right that he should have gone to McGonagall and told her the truth that Hermione and Neville were helping him, but also detention shouldn't be dangerous. Boring and tedious yes, to dissuade students from breaking the rules but it sounds like that detention was just as dangerous as being around the little dragon. I was hoping that now it's gone you'd be safe for the rest of your time at Hogwarts. Two potentially life-threatening creatures in the school should be impossible let alone in the same school year. It's beginning to sound like you were actually safer (from a risk of dying point of view) at the Dursleys, not that I want you to ever have to go back there either.

Thanks for your reassurance that it won't matter to our friendship what my sexual orientation is or even if I tell you about it. Honestly I have nothing to tell you at the moment, I do get momentarily attracted to things, sometimes specific people and sometimes sensations, but I don't have the experience to form a clear pattern. Rest assured that I'm not crushing on you. What I feel for you is genuine friendship and caring. Because I'm almost totally surrounded by people older than I am I find that most of the people I find myself attracted to are in their early twenties. Needless to say I can't do anything about that attraction because none of them would look twice at a fourteen year old boy even if it wasn't illegal for them to do anything with a kid my age. Other than that it's not a big part of my life at the moment, I'm too busy to even think about it most of the time. My mind is fully engaged with my studies and worrying about Mom and you.

Your friend always

Spencer

A/N: Thank you to all those who reviewed followed or favourited this story for your support.