The light was dim, but Jowan knew he was in a room. Fear constricted his throat and made his guts churn. He lay still not wanting to alert anyone to the fact he was awake. As his eyes adjusted, he realised he was in someone's home. He was lying on a pallet next to a low burning fire, comfortable blankets covering him. The hearth was roughly hewn stone, not unlike the one in his home when he had been a child. Slowly sitting up he glanced around; a table and chairs were near him, a vase of flowers in the middle, their faint scent hanging in the air, mingling with the aroma of various herbs in bunches in the kitchen area, the fragrance somehow soothing. There were stairs up to a loft area and he could hear gentle snores from above. The room was sectioned off from beyond the stairs with what he supposed was a store room. As his eyes adjusted further, he saw paintings on the walls of fields, waterfalls and animals. Freezing as he heard a creak on the stairs, he forced himself to glance up seeing an elderly woman holding a candle making her way slowly down.

"Ah you're awake, that's good. I'll make us some tea."

Jowan watched as the woman added more wood to the fire and put the kettle over it before busying herself with cups.

"Where am I?" Jowan asked cautiously.

"Our farm. I'm Molly and the snorer upstairs is my husband Malik. You fell into our camp when we were returning from market. You were fevered and in a bad way, so we brought you here. You slept all yesterday, I admit I was getting worried." She carefully poured the boiling water into the mugs and handed one to him. "Careful with that. No-one knows you're here, figured you were running from someone so we were careful."

"Why? Why would you help me?"

"So, we were just supposed to leave you there for the bears and any passing bandits, were we? Well listen carefully young man, I might be old, but I have never ignored someone who needed help and I'm not going to start now." She shook her head at his startled look. "Reckon you've had a real lack of kindness in your life. Well, I can't do anything about your past and that's your own business, but I can give you a good breakfast to quiet that stomach of yours." She chuckled as Jowan stared at his stomach clearly unaware it had been growling.

A short time later Jowan found himself sitting at the table a fresh tea in his mug, a steaming bowl of porridge in front of him and thick slices of bread, butter and jam to choose from. He was sitting across from Malik who had joined them as Molly fussed around making sure there was enough food and a fresh pot of tea on the table.

"Thinks she's feeding an army." Malik stated softly an amused smile on his face, taking a mouthful of porridge. "Well eat up lad, no sense in letting it get cold, she will join us soon enough."

Smiling slightly, Jowan took a mouthful realising honey had been added, startled by his own contented sigh.

"So lad, you got a name?"

Jowan froze and met Malik's good-natured smile, finding himself unable to speak.

"Well how about we call you Michael, it's common enough not likely to raise suspicion or notice, unless that's actually your name of course."

Jowan cautiously shook his head.

"Right, Michael it is. I'll need to check those lash wounds on your back after breakfast, think we caught it before the infection set in too deep, but you can never be too careful."

"I …" Jowan froze as Malik raised his hand.

"Just so you know we don't need to know what happened unless you actually want to tell it."

Lowering his head Jowan fiddled with his spoon. "The nobility asked questions I couldn't answer without putting someone I love very much in danger."

"Well, that's a tough road to travel. This person in serious trouble?"

"I … she might be and I have to help her, she's the only person I have left."

"You will need to stay here a few days no choice about that, you need to build your strength and have those wounds treated daily, you try travelling again before you heal a bit and you will end up in the same state you were and maybe next time it might be a bear, or a bandit that you stumble across. You are no use to her if you are dead. You can take some of our son's clothing when you are up to travelling, should fit you alright, better than mine do anyway." He smiled. "Don't worry, we will see you right."

Jowan worried at his lip knowing he should leave, but he was so exhausted it had taken all the energy he had to get to the table. "I have no coin, I …"

"Did we ask for coin?" Molly demanded sitting next to him and selecting a slice of the bread and jam. "Did a single word about coin get uttered?"

"I … no, but …"

"You just concentrate on healing, then you can go after your lady friend."

Jowan took another spoonful glancing at Malik who was watching his wife with an adoring look on his face, realising he was smiling himself as he saw Molly gently pat her husband's hand in a warm gesture. He ate the rest of the porridge wondering if one day he and Eloen would be sitting in their own home at the table eating breakfast as much in love as this couple clearly were after Maker knew how many years they had been together.

"So, it's settled then." Molly stated with authority. "You will stay here until you are fit to travel, now eat up lad, thin as a rake you are."

Jowan smiled and took a slice of the bread, the sweet taste made bitter only by his intruding thought that if they knew he was a mage they would never be so kind to him."

xXx

It was a little after midday when Oren raced across the courtyard, skidding to a halt in front of the arriving party as they dismounted, saluting.

Grinning Jayden returned the salute. "You look well Oren."

"I am. Is papa well? He said he was, but the rune doesn't let you see people."

"Your father is well as are your Aunt Ellowyn and Uncle Aedan and they are all eager to see you and your mother again."

Oren inched closer. "Did they get any injuries, I heard Teagan and the King talking and I am sure they said there was a lot of fighting."

Hunkering down Jayden met Oren's worried gaze. "There was a lot of fighting and your father had a head and arm injury I believe." He gently grasped Oren's arms as the boy paled. "But you remember who was with us don't you? A particular mage Warden."

"Warden Ayanna, she healed my papa?"

"She did, your father doesn't even have a scar!"

Grinning broadly Oren looked visibly relieved. "Will we have time to train before we leave?"

"I'm sure we can fit in some sparring." He grinned as Oren bounced on his feet in excitement, smiling as Oriana approached.

"Mom, look who is back!"

"I see." Oriana stated with a smile. "You look well William."

"Thank you, my Lady, as do you." He handed over a sealed parchment. "From Lord Fergus."

Smiling in delight Oriana took the parchment hugging it to her chest. "You made good time."

"The gateways are helpful in that respect."

"Well, we will not detain you any longer, I am sure the others are eager to see you."

Jayden glanced at Oren who seemed fit to burst. "Training in an hour if your mom agrees."

Oriana almost laughed at Oren's pleading expression. "Very well, but do not take up all of William's time."

"I won't mom I promise. Come on Rascal let's start practicing."

Jayden grinned as he and the mabari ran to the training yard. "He's eager."

"Always."

xXx

Cailan smiled in relief to see the party had arrived. "Finally."

Teagan shook his head smiling slightly. "They still made better time than if they had come directly and it is a much safer route to avoid prying eyes."

"I know, is it wrong to be desperate to regain my memories?"

"Of course not, but give them a chance to catch their breath before you have them on the move again." They turned at the knock, a servant stepping in. "The Champion my Lord." She stated to Teagan who smiled as Jayden slipped into the room looking none too impressed.

Jayden hesitated looking at Cailan in surprise, his hair had been darkened and cut shorter and he had a moustache and goatee, having never seen him with facial hair before it was a shock. "You certainly look different."

"Just a precaution while travelling."

"Fair enough." He shifted slightly. "So, why are they all calling me Champion, even the soldiers posted at the Gateway are! I'm a Captain if they need to be formal."

"Do I really need to answer that?"

Sighing at Cailan's look, Jayden let it go. "So, Haven. You do realise Arl Eamon is likely to string me up for this."

Cailan gave a slight smile. "I will protect you."

"You'll need to." He worried at his lip. "I will of course join you, but I'm not sure if I will be allowed to do the Gauntlet a second time and the tests will likely take on a different form to last time. I can give you what details I have on those, but I fear they will be of little use."

"We will manage. I must have faith. Rosslyn has convinced her brother to accompany us. He will bring two of his men leaving eight here. Dairren has also requested to accompany us. I believe he wishes to offer thanks for his own healing. I would like to leave tomorrow morning. I am eager to get this done."

"Of course, we will be ready."

"I have arranged provisions and I will be accompanying you." Teagan smiled slightly at Cailan's startled expression. "I will support you through this Gauntlet in any way I can."

"Are you sure about this Uncle? We know from others' experiences it can be difficult."

"Indeed, which is why I am going with you."

Jayden smiled slightly. "I will leave you to talk, I better make sure my Company is ready."

xXx

"Finally back then Captain." Kinnard stated with a grin. "You know you have to stop keeping all the fun for yourself."

Accepting greetings from the rest of his Company Jayden shook his head. "Trust me, what happened in Highever was not fun."

"But you were successful." Gabriel stated. "That is something, can you give us the details?"

"I don't see why not." Settling into a seat he explained what had happened.

"Maker's breath." Tess muttered. "And how is Lord Thomas now?"

"I think he is through the worst, but time will tell as to his recovery."

"So … we are all off to Haven this time." Lawrence stated.

"You are assigned to protect the King, where he goes you go. We leave first thing tomorrow so make sure you are ready."

Leaning forward Lawrence worried at his lip. "You don't think the dragon will have come back do you?"

Chuckling Jayden shook his head. "I would imagine you would have heard from the Templars and Brothers who have travelled to Haven recently if that was the case."

"Not if they were eaten." Terrance muttered.

"I'm sure all will be well."

"Do you think you will be allowed to do the Gauntlet again?" Enchanter Reece asked, glancing to Ser Simon who was looking a little concerned.

"I have no idea, are you volunteering?"

"Maker no, I'm not taking the chance Holy Andraste asks me to face a dragon."

"Assuming you don't need healing I think you will be fine."

"Do you think you might see Her again?" Simon asked cautiously, everyone seeming to hold their breath.

"No, I think that was a one-time experience."

"But you are her Champion, maybe …" He hesitated at his exasperated expression.

"A title imposed by the Chantry, not given by Holy Andraste." Jayden muttered.

"You think She will be angry?" Tess whispered.

"I hope not, but chances are if She is, the Guardian might have a thing or two to say to me and I can't imagine that being pleasant, but there is no sense in worrying about that until I get there. What about here, has all been well?"

"Training and rotations on guard duty." Kinnard stated. "No issues so far."

"Good, well speaking of training I better get myself to the yard or a certain young man is sure to come looking for me."

Tess grinned. "Lord Oren has been desperate for you to return to show you what he has been learning." She gave a mischievous grin. "He's a quick study."

"He is." Jayden stated standing and stretching. "Come on Airyl, sounds like we might have quite the fight on our hands."

xXx

Kneeling before the statue of Andraste, Leliana prayed silently. The small Chantry in Rainesfere was quiet and she was not desturbed. After a few moments she stood and moved through into a large yard in the back which was walled off and was where the aviary was located. She wrote out the coded message to inform Anora they were going to Haven and why. Moving over to the young Sister sitting waiting patiently she handed her the sealed note. "It is to go to Denerim, code two." She wondered if the Grand Cleric would pay more attention to the messages, now she was aware of who William truly was, but even if she did, she doubted she could crack the code.

Nodding Sister Kela stamped the parchment with the number two before putting it into the tiny cylindrical container attached to the raven's leg. She spoke softly to the bird before releasing it.

Making her way back to the estate Leliana wished they had had time to pop into Redcliffe so she could check on Jowan. She worried at her lower lip, perhaps she could persuade Jayden to make the detour on their way back to the gateway after their business in Haven was concluded.

xXx

Heading down to the training yard Jayden grinned as he saw Oren standing with Ratcatcher on his shoulders, Rascal whining softly as the infamous cat hissed at him.

"You're not getting any more tolerant as you get older are you." Jayden chuckled scratching the cat under his chin, smiling at the deep purr, bracing himself as Ratcatcher jumped from Oren's shoulders onto his own.

"I wish they would be friends." Oren stated, giving Rascal a hug. "It's important to have friends, ones you can trust anyway."

"It is, but Ratcatcher has never been a fan of mabari, he likes to antagonise them and get them into trouble. Especially Kolby." He stroked Ratcatcher as the furry face rubbed against his own.

"Warden Alistair's mabari?"

"Yes, Ratcatcher and Kolby spend more time chasing each other than anything else when they are together."

Oren sat on the low wall. "It is hard to know who we can trust, but Warden Alistair is really good friends with Uncle Dan and Aunt Ell. They really trust him and miss him when he is not around, though I guess he and Uncle Dan are together a lot of the time now." He shifted slightly. "And I am glad Dairren is healed and I know we can trust him because he saved my papa's life."

"He did, he's a brave man."

Oren nodded thoughtfully. "Aunt Ell and Uncle Dan miss their friend Jayden too, but he is in the Free Marches. I have never met him, he left before I was born and he has never been back, but Aunt Ell says I will like him."

"I hope you do."

Oren worried at his lip. "I am not sure I can."

Hesitating Jayden watched Oren cautiously, waiting to see if he would say anything else.

"Aunt Ell said he is her best friend, but if he was, why would he not have come home? He must know about the Darkspawn, even if he has not heard about what happened in Highever."

Jayden swallowed uneasily; he had been William for so long he hadn't given much thought to what people were thinking of a Jayden who was supposed to be in the Free Marches. He winced as Ratcatcher leapt from his shoulders onto the wall catching his neck with a claw.

"Ferelden is his home, so either he is a coward, or he does not care what is happening, either way I could never trust someone who stays away when his friends need him the most."

Jayden felt sick wanting the ground to swallow him.

"Jayden is no coward and he cares very much about our family." Oriana stated gently surprising them both. "One day you will understand just how much."

"But mom if he really cared why is he not here with us? Our real friends are with us!"

Oriana knelt down and gently took her son's hands. "You remember how your grandparents talked about Jayden, about how much they loved him."

Nodding Oren scuffed at the ground with the toe of his boot. "Yes and that makes it worse! Our family trusted Arl Howe and he …" Oren shuddered. "If Jayden loved our family he would have come back."

"Jayden is the son of a Teyrn which makes him a future Teyrn like you. He has obligations to his father and must obey him just as you must obey yours."

Oren worried at his lip having overheard a conversation between his mother and father that if the Blight got worse, he and his mother might be sent to the Free Marches for safety's sake. "So, his dad might have made him stay away so that if … if he … if he dies Gwaren will still have a Teyrn?"

Oriana swallowed uneasily glancing at Jayden. "Perhaps."

"So maybe he really wants to come home, but he is not allowed."

"I suspect Jayden has wanted to come home from the moment he left."

Oren stared at Rascal thoughtfully. "Captain William, can you please forget I said those mean things about Jayden?"

"Already forgotten."

Oren gave a weak smile. "Thank you."

Smiling Oriana gave her son a nudge. "Go on now and play with Rascal, he looks bored. You can train later."

Feeling too ashamed of himself to protest Oren whistled to Rascal and they ran across the courtyard.

Oriana turned to Jayden having glanced around to make sure they were alone. "Do not let his words offend you, he is a child and does not know the situation."

"The struggle to trust is one I know well, but he makes a good point. I have spent so much time worrying about how people will react when they find out who I am, I never really gave any thought to what they might be thinking of me right now. In people's minds I likely should have been home months ago not living in safety in the Free Marches."

"People will understand once they know the truth."

"I hope so." He glanced up startled as Oriana gently cupped his cheek.

"You are one of the bravest men I have ever known. You have shown your love and support of my family and of Ferelden in a hundred ways large and small. Your people will welcome you back with open arms and those who do not are fools." Oriana let her hand fall. "Now I must catch up to my son before he gets into more mischief, but never doubt you have the support of the Cousland's whatever comes."

Feeling off balance with all Oren had said, Jayden wandered into the garden needing some time alone, heading towards the stone bench enclosed on three sides by rose bushes, stopping as he realised Rosslyn was sitting on the bench Gawain in her arms. "Forgive me I did not mean to intrude."

"There is no intrusion, please sit if you would like to."

Hesitating a second Jayden settled on the bench smiling as Gawain gurgled happily, Airyl sitting next to him, her eyes fixed on the infant.

Rosslyn chuckled softly as Jayden pulled a face at Gawain making him squeal and clap his hands in delight.

"He's growing so fast." Jayden observed not at all sure what to talk about.

Glancing at Jayden suddenly, Rosslyn worried at her lower lip. "I do not expect friendship between us although I would welcome it, but is there any way I can make you more comfortable around me?"

Feeling his cheeks heat Jayden shifted slightly before meeting her gaze. "It is not you that I am uncomfortable with, not really, but the situation is complicated." Sighing he rubbed his neck feeling the tension travel down his back. "I have a complicated relationship with my sister and I hope that one day we can sort things out between us, but that would be made much more difficult if she believes I am taking Cailan's side and I have no doubt that my being friendly with you would be seen as just that." He sighed deeply, his arms resting on his thighs, his head hanging down.

Flushing slightly, Rosslyn turned her gaze to her son. "I understand."

Jayden inwardly sighed, he genuinely liked her and if not for her one night with Cailan he would have no reservations about building a friendship between them, but Anora was his sister and despite their difficulties he felt the need to be loyal to her. His throat tightened and he tried to block out the voice in his head that gleefully reminded him, Anora had sold him out to Howe to hide her own indiscretion. That she had sent him as far from her as she could without removing him from the country, because she considered him a threat to Denerim with his advocacy of the Night Elves and Mages in the army and worst of all she blamed him for their mother's death. Fist's clenching, he sat up straight. "You know what, I will be damned if anyone is going to tell me who I can and cannot associate with. The truth is I don't think she could hate me anymore than she already does so really there is no sense in us not being friends with each other." He shrugged at Rosslyn's startled look. "Alright so she will probably have me posted as far away from her as possible, but that's no different to how things are between us at the moment and I'm used to her anger and disapproval. I don't like it, but I'm used to it." He glanced at Gawain who was watching Airyl intently. "Besides, one day your son will be my King and I would very much like to know him."

Smiling Rosslyn hugged her son. "Now he is starting to crawl, he will be getting into all sorts of mischief." They sat in companionable silence for a short time before Gawain started to struggle clearly wanting to be on the move. Gently putting him down on the grass she watched as he crawled towards the bushes. She moved to steer him away not wanting him to get hurt on the thorns, sucking in a sharp breath when Airyl got to him first and gently nudged him away, following him and gently pawing him to stop him from going too far. She glanced at Jayden who was watching a startled look on his face.

"I have never seen her act like that before, though I don't suppose we are around many babies." He watched as Airyl settled down with Gawain lying between her front paws, watching him as he busied himself grabbing and chewing at his own foot.

Rosslyn watched her son astonished that he felt perfectly at ease being watched over by the wolf.

"She won't hurt him." Jayden stated softly.

"I feel that too, it is just so strange." She watched them for a little longer before steeling herself and turning to Jayden. "I am glad that we can be friends, so I pray that you forgive me for what I am about to ask, but I hope you will understand why I must. Do you think Anora would ever seek to harm Gawain?"

Jayden stared at her horrified. "Never. Anora would rather die than harm a child. She will be hurt and angry with Cailan and likely you, but Gawain is innocent."

"Do you really think she will see it that way?"

Jayden hesitated and then spoke softly. "I was seven when I was kidnapped by Orlesian's." He swallowed slightly at her shocked and horrified expression. "It's part of why Anora fears having her own child and led to the actions she took. She saw what my mother went through when I was gone, what she went through herself, thinking that I might never come back, that I was being tortured, that I might be dead. She may not want her own child, but she would never harm another's child, no matter the circumstances."

"I had no idea you experienced that; I am so sorry."

"It was a long time ago and as you can see, I survived. My point in telling you was to show you that Anora might have made some undesirable choices, but she would never take out her anger on a child."

"And what if she was not acting out of anger, but something else. If she believed Gawain was not in the best interests of Ferelden?"

Jayden felt a rush of anger before it died swiftly seeing in Rosslyn's eyes that she was simply a mother afraid for her child and if he was honest with himself it was not without reason, it was not unheard of for children born outside of a royal marriage to be hunted down and disposed of. "Anora would never hurt Gawain, you have my word." Realising she was still unsure he moved a little closer. "If I am wrong, I will protect Gawain from her myself, but it won't come to that, I promise."

Rosslyn met his gaze, relieved and grateful for his sincerity.

A short time later Jayden took his leave almost having to drag Airyl away from Gawain. Reaching the barracks, he slumped onto the bed he was using and sighed, life felt as though it was becoming more complicated with every conversation he had. Closing his eyes, he slowed down his breathing, tomorrow they would leave for Haven and whatever the Gauntlet would bring.

xXx

Checking through his pack for the fifth time Dairren couldn't hide his excitement. "To actually go to the final place of Holy Andraste's Ashes." He stated, awe in his voice. "Perhaps the Brothers will allow me to look over some of the tomes there."

"I'm sure they will." Gabriel stated with a smile. After the months of fear for Dairren and seeing him in such pain he was enjoying seeing him so happy and excited.

Flushing slightly Dairren smiled. "Sorry, I do tend to get a bit excitable when it comes to research. You must find me very dull."

Shaking his head Gabriel pulled Dairren close. "Not a bit and when this is all over, I'll build you a library if it will make you happy."

Grinning Dairren shook his head, interlinking their fingers. "You are what makes me happy, books are just a bonus."

"Good to know, now if you have finished messing with your pack, I have something else I would like to do before we leave tomorrow."

Flushing slightly Dairren couldn't help smiling, despite all they were going through, he had truly never felt happier.

xXx

The following morning the courtyard was bustling with activity as horses were readied, supplies collected and last-minute arrangements confirmed for the protection of the estate and Rainesfere as a whole.

In her private room Rosslyn hugged her brother. "Thank you for this Edward."

Smiling he nodded. "We will be back soon."

"Be careful."

He grinned. "Genevin will be greatly aggrieved that I went to Holy Andraste's resting place before her."

Rosslyn bit her lip trying to stifle the smile.

His grin widening Edward gently picked up Gawain planting a kiss on his nose. "You look after your mom." As Gawain chuckled, he hugged him gently. "Love you little one."

"Is my son making you long for your own?"

"Maybe, but I am happy being a devoted uncle right now."

"I know you do not want to leave us, but I am grateful you have agreed to go with Cailan."

"Until he gets his memories back you are stuck in limbo, so the sooner he gets them back the sooner you can both figure out what the future will be for the three of you."

Rosslyn sighed softly. "I never imagined being in this situation, though I am grateful for it because I have Gawain."

"All will be well one way or the other, I promise."

"You better get going they will be waiting."

Gently handing over Gawain he hugged her again. "Be brave sister, whatever the outcome Ferelden needs its King." He turned as Cailan entered the room and nodded leaving them to it.

"So." Cailan stated softly. "When we return Maker willing, I will have my memories."

"I pray it is so."

"No matter what I remember it will never change my feelings for you."

"Cailan I …" She sighed softly beneath his kiss.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Cailan turned and pressed a kiss to his son's head. "I love you so much." He whispered. "I will be back soon."

Forcing a smile Rosslyn followed him out to the courtyard.

xXx

Sighing, Loretta relaxed into Teagan's embrace. "I pray you succeed."

"As do I. I will miss you."

"Then return swiftly." Glancing to the window Loretta saw Rosslyn and Gawain, feeling her heart ache desperate for her own child. She was starting to fear that perhaps she could not conceive.

Teagan followed her gaze and hugged her a little tighter. "It will be our time soon love."

"They were intimate once, only once and they have a beautiful boy." She gazed at her husband. "What if we never have a child?"

"There is no reason to think that love, besides these times are stressful and that will be weighing on us both." He kissed her gently. "If you are really worried, perhaps we could ask Senior Enchanter Wynne to check all is well with us." He smiled at her grimace. "She may be a little difficult, but she is an accomplished mage and she is remaining here to tend to any injuries sustained by the refugees still arriving."

"Perhaps I will speak with her. Now I better let you go, be safe and if there is a dragon no heroics just get out of there."

Chuckling Teagan nodded. "Trust me love if there is a dragon, I will not be going anywhere near it."

xXx

Smiling as Loretta joined her Rosslyn waved away the large party, knowing that there was a good possibility that when they returned, while she was in no doubt Cailan would always care for his son and acknowledge him, the time they had spent together and the future they had spoken of might be over.

"He will be back soon." Loretta stated softly. "They will succeed."

Nodding Rosslyn glanced at her son, wondering what the future would hold for them both.

xXx

Author Note: Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed.