The Tiny Hatch - 5:54PM
Outside of the Tiny Hatch, a modern (and expensive) seafood restaurant that just opened a few months prior in LA, the girls walked inside and greeted the host.
"Hi, I'm Mandy. I have a reservation for right now."
"Yes, yes, I see... oh, and what is this?" asked the greeter upon seeing the giant present beside her.
"This fat thing? Erm, it's a gift for my date!" responded Mandy.
"Ohhh, quite the extravagant present. Such a big gift for a big girl- uh, at heart, that is... Let me show you to your table, the lucky man has already arrived."
The host walked towards the table area and Mandy followed, not before bumping Clover into a wall.
"Ow!" Clover yelped. "Watch where you're going!"
"Quiet! We just got in. We need to go straight, don't ruin this like you ruin everything else!"
"Easy for you to say, you can see where you're going!"
Mandy and Clover walked into the table area. Clover lifted the present costume just enough to pocket a knife that was on a vacant table.
Mandy smiled when she saw Randy sitting in a tuxedo. She thought it looked cute on him.
"Randy!"
"Mandy, yo! How are you?"
"Crappy..." Clover whispered to herself.
Mandy sat down at the restaurant booth, which gave Clover some nice space to sit. "Better now... kind of a big table, isn't it?" asked Mandy.
"Yeah, I know right? I asked them about it too, they said it was because all the other tables were taken." said Randy.
"So much for reservations. Hellooo! What about that one over there?!"
"Hey, what is that?" asked Randy, pointing at Clover's present costume.
"Oh, it's nothing, don't worry about-"
Clover used the knife she picked up to carve a hole on the right side of the costume. Once that piece fell out, she used her arm to reach the top of the costume and pulled the ribbon, which opened the present - revealing herself to Randy.
"Clover!"
"That's right! See, you do know me."
"But I don't get it... you didn't say she was going to be here too."
"Well-" Mandy scoffed, "it was a last minute change... just forget she's here."
"Oookay..."
Mandy placed her elbow on the table and said, "Sooo, tell me about yourself. What do you like to do after school?"
"After school? Well, besides football practice, I like to write songs. I just started a band called Divine Property with my buds. We just released our first song on..."
Clover and Mandy listened to him talk, both entranced by his looks. They were both leaning in close to hear his interests.
Los Angeles - 6:15PM
Meanwhile, not too far from the Tiny Hatch, Sam and Alex flew across the sunsetting skies of LA in their brightly colored spy suits with the help of their jetpack backpacks in search of their terrorizer.
"See her yet, Al?"
"Not yet, Sammy!"
"Hope we find her before nightfall!"
"Wait! Do you hear that?"
Echoing from a parking lot, the sound of lasers pointed the spies in the right direction. They flew down to see what was happening, when they spotted a conjoined set of people in their cars. Escaping from the scene was the woman from before.
"There! She's heading inside the underground parking lot! Let's get her, Alex!"
Sam and Alex used their jetpacks to chase down the villain.
Back at the Tiny Hatch, Clover and Mandy both were supporting their heads with their hand over the table, enthralled with Randy's stories.
"And like, that's how I found my love for music. And football. Music and football."
"Wow... you know, I dabble in music too." said Mandy.
"Cough, LIAR, cough..." 'coughed' Clover.
"Do you know how to play the guitar?" Mandy asked Clover.
"Uhh..."
"Yeah, zip it," Mandy glanced back at Randy, "I so know how to play the guitar. We should like, jam together one of these days."
"Wow, I had no idea. Yeah, bet!"
Mandy showed Clover a mocking smile. She just rolled her eyes in response.
The waiter arrived with a plate of food. "Here you are."
"Ooooh, calamari..." Clover reached towards the appetizer plate of calamari and Mandy slapped her hand away.
"Eww! Nast! I hate calamari."
"Well, I like it." Clover reached for the calamari again, to the same result of her hand being slapped.
"That thing goes into my stomach too and I don't want it there!"
"Chaa, like, ask me if I care!"
Randy watched in bewilderment as the two argued over squid.
"You won't be getting away this time!" shouted Sam.
"You again?!" said the woman.
"Tell me who you are!"
"Why do you care? Nobody else cared! Nobody... except my Kyle..."
"Kyle?" asked Alex.
"He's my- was... my boyfriend... he broke up with me last week... and ever since then... my life's been a mess!"
"Hang on a sec, so this is all because of a break up? Come on, there are plenty of guys out there."
"NO! Nobody was like Kyle... all the other guys made fun of me! Called me four eyes, mocked me for my intelligence... Kyle was different... and he broke up with mee..." She lowered her head in sadness.
Alex and Sam looked at each other. Alex twirled her finger next to her head, insinuating that this woman - was out of her mind.
"Look... what's your name?"
"Tulip… Lockeheart..."
"Listen, Tulip, there are a lot of mean people out there, but for every bully there's a guy better than Kyle. You just need to be patient and let him find his way to you. Do you believe in fate?"
"I used to... but fate always has ways of subverting our expectations." said Tulip, tightening the grip on her raygun. "Like, I thought we'd be together forever..."
Sam and Alex descended to the floor of the empty parking lot. "Maybe that's not what was meant to happen. Fate has other plans for you this Valentine's Day."
Tulip's depressing demeanor quickly shifted to anger as she flicked her head back up at Sam.
"Valentine's Day... I was going to propose to him... this Friday... and now I'll never get to experience the moment I've been waiting for since the day I was able to live again."
She raised her raygun. "And these people... they have the nerve to express their disgusting love out in broad daylight... have they no shame!? Not everyone is happy like they are! Why do they feel the need to rub it in everybody's faces?! Why?! Why?!"
"Tulip! Tulip! H-Hold on a minute..." pleaded Sam.
"That's why I traded in my costly pathetic wedding ring for this! If they love each other so much," Tulip ignored Sam and continued her monologue, "then they should be together! Forever! TOGETHER! FOREVER!"
Tulip pointed the raygun at the spies. "AND YOU WILL BE TOO IF YOU GET IN MY WAY!" She pulled the trigger and the lasers flung towards them. They used the jetpack to evade the barrage of beams, but the cramped space made it difficult to fly around in.
"I'll have as much calamari as I want!" shouted Clover, trying to put a hand full of calamari in her mouth, but Mandy was pulling her arm back.
"Not on my watch, you're not!" shouted back Mandy.
The other guests at the restaurant were starting to watch the girls fighting at the table. Randy slumped down in his seat in embarrassment.
"You're a witch!"
"And you're a-"
"You know what you are! A poser! A wannabe! A loser!"
"And you're a snobby brat who'd rather cause a scene than have a little squid!"
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, really!"
"Well, your hair looks like if a poodle mistook another poodle for a fire hydrant!"
"Oh, why don't you stop licking my ear when you sleep?!"
"I do NOT lick your ear!"
"Yes you do! And your breath smells!"
"Hey, Randy," Clover leaned over the table, "her breath stinks SO bad!"
"Why you little..."
Mandy grabbed a handful of crab cakes off the table and chucked it at Clover's face. Upon contact, the crab slid down Clover's face and she froze for a second, before using the calamari in her hand and smearing them all over her mug.
"That is so it!" they both shouted. Mandy lounged at Clover and the two fell to the ground and started trading punches. In the midst of round 2, hair pulling, the two stopped after seeing a set of legs standing in front of them. They looked up and saw a burly, angry bald man wearing a shirt that said "security". The man grabbed the girls by their dresses and dragged them towards the front door. They passed by a table with a conjoined couple, who were shaking their heads.
"Some people, I tell ya, Margaret."
"Hey, so, uh, you got the bill, right?" asked Randy from his table.
The girls yelped as they were thrown out to the sidewalk. They landed on their stomachs against the cold concrete floor.
"Look what you did! You got us kicked out from the trendiest restaurant of the month! What is wrong with you?!"
"Me?!" questioned Clover, "All I wanted was some calamari! It's your fault we got kicked out!"
"Nuh uh!"
"Is too!"
"I said, NAH AH!"
"Ahhh!" shouted Alex, as her jetpack backpack flung her towards a wall. Tulip continued to shoot her raygun at every direction they were heading towards.
"I JUST WANTED TO BE LOVED!"
Sam and Alex took cover behind a car to talk Tulip out of her madness one last time. "Listen to me, Tulip! You're upset, and that's normal! But these people haven't done anything wrong to you! You're taking your anger out on the wrong people!"
"Yeah! Why don't you just take up a hobby like knitting or do some volunteer work to get your mind off of him?" suggested Alex.
"How can I get my mind off of my Kyle when everyone is so obsessed with love?! It's in the commercials, it's in the stores, it's in the streets! It's on the calendar! Without my soul mate, my life is meaningless!"
"That's not true, Tulip! Your worth isn't determined by who you have in your life," said Sam, "just take a break from it all and move on!"
"You're not getting it! Nobody does! I need Kyle! I don't want to move on! There is nobody out there for me!"
"But if Kyle broke up with you, he doesn't want to be with you. You can't force him to be in a relationship with you, then it would be one-sided!" Alex yelled back. Sam peeked from the edge of the car and quickly shifted back to safety when she saw a laser coming at her. "Shut uppp!" Tulip screamed.
"Watch out!" shouted Sam pushing Alex to create space, as the laser bounced back and forth between another car and the car they were hiding behind. The laser went back and forth before reaching the bottom half of the window of the car, then it shot downwards and disintegrated.
"I don't want to hear it! Either leave me alone or get stuck!"
"Of course! Alex! Glass reflects her lasers, but metal reflects it back at its trajectory better!"
"Yeah, so?"
"We can use one of the cars in here to accurately reflect the beam back at her!"
"How do we do that?"
"Hmm..." Sam looked around through the window of the car and spotted a white car parked by itself, leaving plenty of open space for Alex to jump to. "I'll create a diversion. Sneak your way to that secluded sedan, then when she spots you, use your expandable cable bungee belt to get to safety after she shoots. Be quick!"
"Okay, Sammy, but if I get turned into half a car, promise me we'll go to a drive-in theater next week."
"I promise."
Alex moved away from the car and Sam jumped up waving her arms around. "Hey, Tulip! If you ask me, I think Kyle dodged a bullet- woah!" Sam ducked back down.
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
"I'm saying he had the right idea to dump you! You're clearly way out of your mind!" ribbed Sam, as she jumped on top of the row of parked cars and traveled across them, narrowly dodging more of Tulip's lasers.
"Shut up! You don't know anything about me!"
"I know that, A: you're insane, and B: you're as bitter as the dark chocolate people will be receiving from their soulmates in a couple days. Hear that? Couple."
"Stop it! I'll get you for this! And when I do, you'll be sorry!" threatened Tulip, as tears began to fall down her cheek.
Tulip ran after Sam, with each laser getting uncomfortably close to connecting with Sam. Sam noticed Alex made it to the secluded sedan, and used her bungee belt to hook to a pipe in the ceiling to swing above Tulip and lured her to Alex's location. Sam jumped in between another row of cars and hid from Tulip.
"Coward! Where did you go?!" she shouted.
"Over here, Lockeheart!" taunted Alex. She stuck her tongue out, as she was being lifted by her bungee belt. Tulip turned around and immediately shot at Alex, to which she used her bungee line to zip up to safety. When the laser connected with the car, it bounced back and struck Tulip. She fell to her knees and screamed for dear life, all the while a green electric outline covered her body. The entire parking lot shined green and then the screaming stopped...
"T-Tulip?" asked Sam.
Alex lowered herself down with the bungee belt, then landed on the ground and let the line zip back into its place. "Do you think she...?"
Alex walked towards the spot Tulip was zapped in, and Sam put her arm over her to prevent her from going any further.
"Wait..."
The sedan, which just moments ago was your average run of the mill current model, now has the custom addition of Tulip Lockeheart's upper body sticking out from the hood of the car.
Tulip slowly opened her eyes and after just one look around her lower half, she screamed, "Nooooooooooo!" while the car's lights and horn started going off and on. The windows also began to lower and raise themselves, as well as the radio turning itself on and playing the latter half of Tchotchke's "Longing Delights", and then turning itself off.
Just then, a black van with the WOOHP logo on the sides drove inside the underground parking lot. Jerry exited from the vehicle along with a few agents from the back of the van.
"Brilliant work, spies. Glad we were able to sort this out before it became an even bigger issue."
Sam turned to Tulip. "I'm sorry, Tulip. I didn't mean the things I said, but those were the only words you understood."
The agents confiscated the raygun and put it in the back of the van.
"Oh, and we picked someone up along the way."
From behind the van, came a man with black hair. He wore a striped brown shirt and beige slacks. "K-Kyle?"
"Tulip?"
"Don't look at me! Please..."
"Tulip, I owe you an apology. I'm sorry I cut you off so short and didn't hear you out."
"...Why did you break up with me? After everything we've been through?"
"I... I just don't love you anymore. I met someone else at work. A woman named Cheryl. She's moving in with me starting April."
"Was anything we had real?"
"Of course it was. We had some great times during college... but besides robotics, we have almost nothing in common."
"I... guess not... I thought you were my one and only... and you didn't..."
Kyle placed his hand on top of her's and smiled. "It was fun while it lasted, right?"
"I-I guess so... I'll really miss this."
Jerry cleared his throat, making his presence known to the ex-couple and an agent handed him a serum. "Ms. Lockeheart, this antidote will return you to normal. After that, you will be taken into custody."
Tulip sighed deeply and flashed a weak smile. "Okay..."
"But before that happens, I must ask you a few questions: Who supplied you with the conjoinment ray?"
Her eyes traced back to Kyle, carefully examining his body language. Although it was clear as crystal to her that this would be the end of her rampage, she still concerned herself with how he would react to her answer.
"The night I got dumped, I left to pawn off the ring and I met a man in a black coat… he said he could feel the anger inside of me, and he wanted to help me release it."
"Who is he?
"I don't know his name… I'm sorry."
"And you're sure?"
Tulip nodded, leaving Jerry with an ominous feeling that's going to be hard to shake off. He handed Tulip the purple liquid serum and she drank it. She winced and arched her back in pain.
"Spies! Pull her out of the car!"
Sam and Alex grabbed her arms and pulled her from the car. Her body appeared like it was coming from inside of the car, almost ghostly. She laid on the floor for a second, until 2 WOOHP agents picked her up and put her in cuffs.
"Bye, Tulip."
"Goodbye..."
They put her in the back of the van and shut the door.
"We'll be having serums administered to everyone affected soon. By the way, have you seen Clover, by chance?" asked Jerry.
"She should be at her house with Mandy. Let's get that serum to her ASAP!" said Sam.
"Shall we?" Jerry and the girls entered the van from the front doors and drove out of the parking lot.
Somewhere in LA - 7:39PM
"This has got to be the worst night of my life." whined Mandy, while she and Clover were walking back to Clover's house.
"Yeah right, this is the worst week in the history of terrible weeks."
The WOOHP van drove by the two and stopped near them. The window rolled down and Clover recognized her friends immediately.
"Sam! Alex!"
They got out of the van and hugged Clover, completely forgetting that Mandy was still attached to her.
"What a night it's been," said Sam.
"You're telling me."
Alex sniffed Clover's neck while they were hugging and asked, "Why do you reek of fish?"
"It's a long story, I have so much to tell you."
"No you're not! Nobody can know what happened back there! Gosh... I seriously can't believe I'm stuck with you for the rest of my life..."
"Not at all the case," said Jerry, "here, drink this and you'll be freed from your conjoinment.
Mandy snatched the serum out of Jerry's hand, "Gimme that! I'll try anything at this point just to get away from this freak! She is literally ruining my life!"
"That makes 2 of us," Clover snarkily remarked to her friends. Mandy drank the serum and Sam and Alex pulled Clover apart from her. She came out and the 3 of them fell to the ground.
"Yeah! My body's back!" Clover celebrated, moving both of her hands at the same time.
"What would I do without you, Jerry?" said Clover, giving Jerry a big hug.
"From the looks of it, going home stinking of seafood while being attached to your high school rival."
Mandy sat up and felt her body was back to normal. "I'm... me again! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"Now that you're back to normal, why don't we give you a lift home?"
"Uh, Jer? I don't suppose you could, I don't know... alter her memory so she forgets about this little experience?" asked Sam.
"All in good time, Sam. That's what the serum is for."
Beverly Hills High School - 7:33AM
Friday has finally rolled around and it is now time for the Samesies Twinsies event to begin. Everyone at school was expecting Clover and Mandy to make their stuck together comeback after they showed up the day prior separated from each other, but they were sorely mistaken. Sam, Clover, and Alex stood by their lockers - wearing their own set of unique clothes, and didn't even want to think about the event. But it was difficult for them to get their minds off of their last mission.
"So it's safe to say this holiday event is a dud."
"Yeah, nobody is even participating." said Alex.
"Clover probably sucked the fun out of it for everybody by showing up with Mandy for 3 days straight," laughed Sam.
"Ha ha, Sam, very funny. You know, that was seriously the worst few days of my life. I only remember half of it and I know that for sure." said Clover.
"Guess the serum affected Mandy's memory the most." said Alex. "Think it's because she's the one who drank it?"
"I'm almost certain, Al." replied Sam.
Mandy walked by with her friends, Dominique and Caitlin. "Hey, losers, alone on Valentine's Day? Hahahahahahaha!"
"So are you, Columbo." said Sam.
"Pfft, yeah right. I just had a really cool date with Randy a couple days ago and- oh, and what do you know! There he is right now." Mandy walked towards Randy and greeted him. The sight of Mandy was enough to set Randy off walking away, like she had something contagious.
"R-Randy! Where are you going?" shouted Mandy, chasing Randy down the halls. "Randyyy!"
Dominique and Caitlin stood there puzzled, before running after Mandy. The girls laughed their heads off, knowing that the serum had in fact erased the past few days from her memory.
"Scratch that, I am certain."
"Yeah, but I still want to put something together for this event so we could spend the rest of the day together," said Alex.
"You're not alone there, Alex. That was the original plan. Clover?"
"Puh-lease, Sam. I've had enough 'samesies twinsies' for a lifetime."
"Oh, alright. If you don't want to do it then none of us will."
Sam closed her locker and together they walked down the hall. "Besides, I heard this event was so bad, that next year, they're just going to throw a dance."
The girls spotted the ever-charming Cedric Thompson standing by his locker reading from his phone. He grunted in frustration.
"Cedric? What's the matter?" asked Clover.
"My friend and I were going to do this event together but he called in sick. I already bought the shirt we were going to wear." He pulled out a shirt made for two from his locker and showed it to her.
"Awweeee, think I could cut in for him?"
"Uhh... sure!"
"Yipee!"
Sam and Alex looked at each other and gave each other the 'I knew this would happen' look.
MISSION
ACCOMPLISHED
Somewhere in LA - ?
"Done?! What do you mean we're done?!"
"I'm saying it's over. We're through."
"B-but... come on, let's talk about this!"
"No, I'm done. I am breaking up with you." The woman turned around and walked away.
Eugene clenched his fists. Maybe not tomorrow, or next week, but soon... he will have his revenge.