Pains of the Partridge
[The scene opens with a shot of Duck coming around a corner with a train of red vans with Christmas tree logos on them, passing by a group of children consisting of Fox, Rabbit, Raccoon, and Bear as they wave from the lineside. Duck gives a cheerful "toot-toot", while Emily passes by on the other line with her coaches, giving a similar gesture. It then cuts to a shot outside of the Sweet Shop where several patrons are sharing treats with one another; Lyra with Bon Bon, Huck with Snag, and Penny with Lizzie as the shot then goes over to Postman Pat dropping off a package to a house under "Peyton", ringing the doorbell and tipping his hat off to the recipient; Fireman Sam who takes it with a smile. It then cuts to Mordecai and Rigby walking through town, scarfs adorned around their necks as they pass by Jinks, Colonel, and Mulan going in the opposite direction]
Mordecai: So, you thought about making your 'grand entrance' to the party?
Rigby: Oh, c'mon, you know I'm not gonna bust the door down like some lunatic.
Mordecai: Funny, that's exactly what you did last year.
[A brief flashback plays of Rigby busting down the door with two sacks in hand]
Rigby: Merry Christmas, biatches!
[The scene cuts back to reality]
Rigby: You mean the same party of you standing awkwardly around Twilight?
[Another flashback plays of Mordecai and Twilight sitting awkwardly next to each other]
Mordecai: Sooooooooooooo…um…seen any shooting stars lately?
Twilight: Not really…you?
Mordecai: Uhhhhhh…no?
Twilight: Oh…right…
[The scene cuts back to reality with Mordecai's face flushing red]
Mordecai: Shut up…
Rigby: Man, you are just the definition of 'awkward around women', I'm surprised you've been trying for that long.
Mordecai: Hey, you never know, it's only a matter of time till I find that 'someone'.
Rigby: Riiiiiiight…and how many times was it, ten at last count, I dunno, I lost track.
Mordecai: Funny, I don't see anyone wrapped in your arms at the moment.
Rigby: Well, I could wrap you in my arms if that's what ya'd like.
Mordecai: [blushes] UH! What, no! I didn't mean it like that!
Rigby: You suuuuuure, we have been together for a long time now, almost makes you think-
Mordecai: I'm going to stop you right there.
Rigby: Why? Is it cuz you know I'm telling the truth?
Mordecai: The words "truth" and "Rigby" do not mesh well in the same sentence…well, neither does "relationship".
Rigby: Oh, screw you! At least I don't need to sniff a woman's panties.
Mordecai: Hey, it was a jacket!
Rigby: What difference does it make?
Mordecai: I-!
Rigby: Wait a minute, wait a minute, why are we even fighting now?
Mordecai: Well, the answer might be more obvious than you think.
Rigby: Snark aside, I just wanna go to a Christmas party with my bro, ya' know, have some fun, ease up a little.
Mordecai: …Okay, that's something I can agree on, perhaps it'll do me some good, especially as of late.
Rigby: You been having one of 'those phases' again?
Mordecai: No…well, not like that…
[Mordecai looks over to the right to see Hokey and Loopy walking side by side, the two wolves nuzzling the side of each other's faces all the while as he watches with slight envy before trying to shake it off]
Mordecai: [sighs] It's nothing, really…
Rigby: Yeah, c'mon, let's go, it's partay time!
[Rigby jumps up and clicks his heels, taking a fair lead ahead of Mordecai as the blue jay follows on, before the scene transitions to the party in an auditorium. The festivities have already gotten underway; the decorations are set up, an array of food is laid out on the table, and people are gossiping with one another as Christmas music plays, the crowd consisting of Angelina, Alice, Fox, Wolf, Applejack, Rarity, Maleficient, Grimhilde, Snow White, Aurora, Cinderella, Ariel, Belle, Beast, Nala, Zira, Waul, Fat Cat, Twilight, Fluttershy, Hokey, Loopy, Chance, Jake, Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercup, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, Spike, Robin, Little John, Marian, Lady Kluck, Bagheera, Baloo, Shere Khan, Kaa, Cat, Dog, Rocko, Antoine, Tails, Usagi, Ami, Rei, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Lapis, Daphne, Dolly, Hansel, Fergus, Blitz, Exile, Hunter, Colleen, Max, and Ruby. Even Sir Topham Hatt has joined and can be seen chinking a toast with Cinderella. It shows the CMC running about past Mordecai who nearly spills his drink next to Maleficent standing near him]
Mordecai: HU!
[The blue jay catches himself as the green lady in black shifts slightly to avoid getting something on her before giving an unamused look at Mordecai]
Maleficent: Do you mind?
Mordecai: [nervously] Heheheeeeee, sorry, won't happen again.
Maleficent: It certainly won't…
[Maleficent pulls up on her dress and walks off with a huff, leaving Mordecai to breathe a sigh of relief]
Mordecai: That was close…
[Mordecai looks over at Blitz and Exile standing a few feet away, clinking cups of punch. The blue jay looks up to see the two standing under a piece of mistletoe hanging above, and upon looking down once more sees the two kissing under it. Next to the two are Rarity and Applejack as the two look through a photo album, leaning on each other's shoulders. The avian tries not to express a look of envy, opting to give a sigh]
Pinkie: HAI!
[Mordecai squeezes the cup in shock, his face soaked from the punch as he looks over at Pinkie standing right next to him]
Mordecai: Where'd you come from?!
Pinkie: Oh, I was standing here the whole time, just wanna ya' to know, the Gingerbread House contest is coming up, I know I'm gonna win cuz I've got a secret weapon.
Mordecai: Let me guess, a party cannon?
Pinkie: Hehe, oh no, silly. [pulls out a cannon with a gingerbread man logo on its side] A gingerbread cannon!
Mordecai: I'm…not even gonna question that.
Pinkie: Okey-dokey-lokey!
[Pinkie hops away leaving Mordecai on his own, deciding to sit down on a chair and ease his nerves. He looks over at Rigby chatting with Hokey and Snow White, the two chuckling at something the raccoon said. The blue jay sits back further in the chair, looking at the other party-goers, and finds himself isolated from the rest of the group]
Mordecai: [sighs] Talk about Merry Christmas…why am I just sitting here, can't I try to mingle…?
[Mordecai slowly stands up from his chair and tries to approach someone, a blue cat and a tan coyote chatting to each other by the snack table, but their attention is called away and they walk off. Mordecai then tries to turn his attention to Twilight speaking with Rainbow Dash…but then remembers what happened last time and stops himself]
Mordecai: Damn…
[The blue jay decides to return to his seat, but as he does so, he looks at the bottles of alcohol placed behind the punch bowl…Mordecai serves himself another cup full of punch and then pours a bit of Vodka into it, taking a big gulp]
Mordecai: AH. [puts the cup down with an audible "thump"]
[The scene cuts to Rigby now talking to Cat and Dog]
Rigby: And so I told him, "look, I'll do my fair, so long as you admit you suck at rock, paper, scis-"
[At that moment, Mordecai appears right behind Rigby]
Mordecai: Oh, yeah, haha, that was a funny story. Very funny, yeah…
Rigby: Mordecai…[sniffs, then grimaces]...eugh, what's that smell?
Mordecai: Ya' know, did I ever tell you all that I'm an excellent-HIC-storyteller, like I've got a whole sleeeewwwww of-HIC-stuff to share.
Rigby: Mordecai, are you alright, you look a bit…drunk.
Mordecai: Whaaaaaat, noooooooooo, no, I just-HIC-took a few shots of punch…[leans down to Rigby's face]...ya' know, from the bowl.
[Rigby wrinkles his nose and grimaces]
Rigby: ACK! Oh god, your breath! You have been drinking!
Mordecai: Oooooh ya' know, life of the party, baby, I'm as high as a bird!
[Mordecai chuckles as he steps onto a table, much to Aurora, Rarity, Antoine, and Chance's confusion]
Mordecai: Heeeeeeey, everybody, come-BURP-join the partay!
Rarity: What on Earth are you doing?
Mordecai: Heeeeey, come up and dance with meh!
Rarity: I'd rather not, thank you.
[Mordecai extends his wing out to Rarity, to which she pushes it away]
Mordecai: Okaaaaaay, okay, I'm-I'm not picky…[looks over at Chance]...how about yoooooou, big guy?
Chance: I'll pass, thank you.
Mordecai: Awwwwwww…well, that-that's fine, you all-HIC-fuckin' suck, anyway…fffffffuck this, and fuuuuuuuck Christmas!
[The music drowns out as the attention focuses on Mordecai, his eyes looking around at the awkward and stunned crowd beneath him. Rigby runs up to the table]
Rigby: Mordecai, get down, you're making a scene!
Mordecai: What? Noooooo, I'm just havin' fuuuuuuuun…am I not allowed ta' have fuuun?
Rigby: Get your ass down, ya' drunk dumbass!
Mordecai: No, yooooou, back off-HIC-ya' little shit!
[Mordecai kicks Rigby off and the raccoon lands on his back, looking shocked]
Rigby: Mordecai…?
Mordecai: I mean, s-seriously, why the fuck can't I ever have fun…it's fuckin' bullshit, I tell ya'! I see everyone a' you standing here, lookin' all sappy and happy and crap…why can't I have that?!
[At that moment, Sweetie Belle cautiously approaches Mordecai with a tray of cookies]
Sweetie Belle: Maybe you'll feel better after having a cookie?
[Mordecai glowers down and snatches several cookies from the tray, stuffing them in his mouth…and then spitting the bits right after]
Mordecai: BLEUGH! These cookies taste like ASS! Who made these ass cookies?! I-HIC-swear, the fuckin' bitch who made these must be on the shittest crack cocaine imagineable! Pinkie, the fuck happened?!
Pinkie: Um, I didn't make those…
Mordecai: The…then, you! [points at Applejack]
Applejack: Partner, don't you dare go pointin' finger at me.
Mordecai: Then-BURP-whoooooooo…
[At that moment, the sound of someone sniffling can be heard…Mordecai slowly looks down to see Sweetie Belle, her eyes wide, welling up with tears, and her lips quivering, dropping the tray with a clatter. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo stand cautiously next to her]
Apple Bloom: …Sweetie Belle?
Scootaloo: Are you okay…?
Sweetie Belle: Well…at least you were being honest…
[Sweetie then covers her eyes, sobbing as she runs away towards the hallway, past the stunned or concerned crowd]
Rarity: Oh, Sweetie Belle!
[Rarity instinctively runs after her weeping sister, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo following behind]
Fluttershy: Oh dear, um, we'll be back, this might take a while…
[Fluttershy follows the group and the door shuts ominously]
Hunter: …Well, I could never have pre-
[Colleen puts her paw on Hunter's mouth]
Colleen: Don't finish that sentence, just don't.
Hunter: Oh…
[After everyone has stopped turning attention to that, they turn their attention towards Mordecai, many GLARES are sent his way, even some of the villains look thoroughly unimpressed. The blue jay has only just enough of conscious to process what's going on]
Maleficent: Hmph, pathetic.
Aurora: You know, for once, I agree with her.
Chance: Nice going, jerk.
Rainbow Dash: A drunk jerk at that.
Fox: [clears throat] Would someone mind disposing of the trash on that table?
Wolf: It'd be my pleasure.
[Wolf presses his fist as he and Chance drag a still slightly tipsy Mordecai off the table and down the hallway, right out the door]
Wolf: Oh, and Merry Christmas…ya' filthy animal.
[The door slams shut behind Mordecai as he tries to get his bearings across…he finds himself all alone in the cold evening air. The blue jay struggles to pick himself up and then shivers as the wind blows against him]
Mordecai: Damn…chilly out here…
[Mordecai rubs his arms together and then, with a slight limp, begins to make his way back home. Unbeknownst to him, Rigby can be seen looking out the window, watching with concern as his friend slowly trudges his way down the street. It then cuts to Mordecai walking past various venues, and seeing everyone being merry within them; Thomas and Percy dropping off mail at Oak Station, Jasmine and Tiana outside of the latter's restaurant, Trixie and Starlight as they walk with cups of hot chocolate in their hands, and Thomas, Scat Cat, with the rest of the band; Hit Cat, Peppo, Shun Gon, and Billy Boss, playing Christmas music inside one of the clubs, contrasted to Mordecai standing all by himself as the snow wisps around him and the wind howls. The blue jay shudders as he walks before finally making his way back to his apartment. Once there, he locks the door before heading to the bathroom, splashing some water on his face as he looks in the mirror]
Mordecai: God, I look like shit…the fuck did I do…?
[Mordecai is then shown heading into his bedroom and plopping onto the bed, shutting his eyes and falling asleep…the clock is shown striking ten o'clock as the air begins to grow colder…Mordecai shivers and tries to wrap himself further with the blanket before a faint moan can be heard…the avian slowly rises up]
Mordecai: Vrrrrrrrr, what the…?
[The moan comes again, this time louder]
Mordecai: W…Who's there…?
[A crackle of thunder suddenly rings out, causing Mordecai to jump as suddenly, right before his eyes, a ghostly, elderly looking man phases through the wall. The figure appears to be a blue jay like Mordecai, only much older with disheveled facial features and chains surrounding his body]
Mordecai: GAH! Who, who are you?!
?: I am an old face…and a message of warning to poor unfortunate souls…
Mordecai: I…wait…Grandpa Lawrence, is that you…?
?: Huh, seems you're not too far enough that you remember me.
Mordecai: Why, I, how is this possible, I've so many questions-
Lawrence: SILENCE!
[The old man's voice shakes the room, causing Mordecai to cover the bottom of his face with the blanket]
Lawrence: I'm not here for a visit…I've come to warn you that you're on the path of misfortune…
Mordecai: Wha…what do you mean?
Lawrence: Don't play dumb with me, boy…if you don't shape up, you'll end up like me…
Mordecai: But…what, what are those chains around you?
Lawrence: These chains are my burden to bear…they're reminders of the misery I carried throughout my mortal life…and they will become yours if you continue on this current path of woe…
Mordecai: But, I'm not miserable, I'm not!
Lawrence: [points his finger at Mordecai] LIAR! You've been repressing your pain for ages now, and it's finally been let out…you are pushing away those who can help you…those who care…just like I did…
Mordecai: No…no, that's not true, I'm not, I-
Lawrence: You can deny it all you like, but you cannot argue against the truth…you are on the verge of becoming a miserable mortal being, sad, alone, depraved…
Mordecai: No…no, no, please, please, tell me it isn't so, I-
Lawrence: BUT, there is hope for you yet…tonight, by every stroke of midnight, you will be visited by three spirits…perhaps they can help you avoid the fate of eternal damnation…
Mordecai: Three spirits?! Midnight?! W-Why can't I just do them all in one?
Lawrence: THERE ARE NO SHORTCUTS!
[Lawrence's loud voice booms across the room once more, causing it to shake and rattle]
Mordecai: AAAAAAAH! NO, PLEASE, HAVE MERCY, GRANDDAD!
[As the rattling stops, Lawrence floats closer to Mordecai, the younger, mortal blue jay quivering in fear as his deceased relative inches towards him]
Lawrence: Heed my word, young Mordecai…you have the chance to correct the error of your ways…take it…or suffer…
[Another loud crackle of thunder sounds and in a flash, Lawrence disappears from the room in a cloud of smoke. Mordecai stands frozen in place, trying to wrap his head around what had just happened]
Mordecai: Wha…wha…what just happened…?
[Mordecai finally decides to go back to sleep, trying not to think about what he had just witnessed…eventually, his eyes grow heavy and he drifts off to sleep…]
[Some time later at night, the clock is shown striking one o'clock. As Mordecai remains fast asleep, a golden light begins to manifest in the room. The blue jay shifts and slowly opens his eyes]
Mordecai: Uh, wha…?
[Mordecai stares at the spectral figure floating before him, resembling a certain bubblegum machine]
?: Hello, Mordecai.
Mordecai: B…Benson?
?: Not quite, I'm merely assuming the form of someone familiar to you.
Mordecai: Then…who are you?
?: I am the Ghost of What Has Been…I see through all the memories of people's past…and tonight, I'm looking at yours…
Mordecai: Wha…you're the first spirit…what are you doing to do…?
Past: Not just what I'm going to do…what we're going to do…come with me…
[The spirit extends its hand out to Mordecai who hesitantly takes it before the window suddenly opens]
Mordecai: Wait, what are you…?
[The spirit pulls Mordecai to the window]
Mordecai: Wait, WAIT, I can't fly, I'll fall! Spirit?! SPIRIT?!
[The spirit ignores Mordecai as they both fly out the window, much to the latter's shock as he finds himself floating in midair]
Mordecai: Wha…I…I'm flying! I'm actually flying!
[Mordecai looks down at the view below, never having seen the city like this before…to an extent, it's rather exciting…until he feels himself being pulled upward]
Mordecai: Spirit…Spirit, where are we going?!
Past: To your past, so we can see where it all went wrong…
Mordecai: But how…?
[As if on cue, a portal opens up as the spirit and Mordecai go through it, within a flash and a spiral, clocks turning backwards within, the two find themselves landing in the snow]
Mordecai: What…where are we?
Past: The park; December, 1992…I imagine this place should be familiar to you…
Mordecai: Wait…no, no, you're right, this place is familiar…oh, I used to come here all the time when I was younger, I had a lotta fond memories of this place…
[At that moment, a group of small children suddenly rush past Mordecai, causing him to jolt back]
Mordecai: Whoa, hey! Didn't those kids see me?!
Past: These are but shadows of things that have already been, we have no consciousness in them…
Mordecai: Wait, so like, no one can actually see us?
Past: [nods] Quite…
Mordecai: Well, then, where am…?
[Mordecai trails off as a few yards away, a young blue jay walks into view, holding a box in his hand and picking up something buried in the snow]
Mordecai: Wait…that's-
Past: You, five years old…
Mordecai: Yeah…I used to try and find treasure in this park and put 'em in that little box…I think I still have that somewhere.
Young Mordecai: Oh, look, a moonstone! It'll go perfectly with my sapphire and emerald!
[The moonstone in question appears to just be a regular mishapen rock]
Mordecai: Hehe, I pretended the stuff was more valuable than it really was, I think I even made a ruby out of a red bottle cap.
[At that moment, something catches little Mordecai's attention and he goes in the opposite direction to investigate]
Mordecai: Wait, where's he-WHOA!
[The spirit and Mordecai lift into the air as they follow the younger blue jay till they land in a new spot]
Mordecai: You could at least warn me if you're gonna do that!
Past: Watch…
[Mordecai turns in the direction of where the spirit was referring to and his expression morphs into one of concern. There, a small raccoon boy is struggling to get his scarf stuck in a tree's branch. The boy begins to tear up as he sits under the tree and cries into his hands. At that moment, young Mordecai appears into view and sees the raccoon in his predicament, cautiously walking towards him]
Young Mordecai: Hey…you okay…?
[The little raccoon slowly looks up and then hastily brushes his eyes]
?: I-I'm fine…I wasn't crying!
Young Mordecai: Oh…what happened?
?: Nothing, it was…[sniffles]...some mean kids took my scarf and threw it up in the tree, I can't get it down and my mommy's gonna be so upset when she sees I lost it!
[The little raccoon goes back to sobbing as little Mordecai looks up at the branch, squinting as he sees the red and white scarf…an idea strikes him as he puts his box down and begins to make a snowball. He then hurls it at the branch, trying to knock the scarf off it. After three attempts, the scarf finally falls to the ground and young Mordecai holds it up in front of the raccoon]
Young Mordecai: Here…
[The little raccoon looks up again to see his scarf in the blue jay's hands]
?: You…you got it…ooooh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
[The raccoon boy jumps for joy several times before pausing]
?: Thank you for getting my scarf back, um…oh, what's your name?
Young Mordecai: Oh, my name's Mordecai, what about yours?
?: Oh…my name's Rigby.
Young Mordecai: That's a nice name.
Young Rigby: [blushes] Oh, t-thank you…
Mordecai: Oh yeah…this is where I met Rigby…heh, we used to be almost the same size back then…
Past: Twas the beginning of a long-lasting friendship I imagine…
Mordecai: Yeah, it was…me and Rigby became inseparable after that, crazy to think we've been friends for that long…
Past: Indeed, and to think it was Christmastime when you first met…
[The two are then transported to the inside of a house where the younger versions of Mordecai and Rigby are seen taking some cookies from a tray of which the former's mother has made]
Past: Your first Christmas together…you were both happier in those days…
Mordecai: Yeah…where's the time gone…
Past: It has gone…but through many trials, tribulations, even the harshest of fallouts, you two have stuck together…of course, there's the other part of your history…
Mordecai: Other part…?
[The spirit teleports Mordecai many years later towards the beginning of in-show canon, namely another day with the two at the coffee shop]
Mordecai: What are we doing here?
Past: Watch and you'll find out…
[Mordecai looks ahead to see him and Rigby sitting in their respective seats only to be approached by a red robin waitress]
Margaret: Hey, you guys.
Mordecai: Oh, uh, hey, Margaret. Just give us two of the regular.
Margaret: [writes down in a notepad] Of course, I'll be right back.
[Margaret turns to walk away]
Mordecai: Oh, Margaret?
Margaret: Yeah?
Mordecai: Um…oh, um…nice to see you?
Margaret: Hehe, right back at you.
[As Margaret heads back into the kitchen, Mordecai puts his hands on his face in embarrassment]
Rigby: Smooooooth. "Um, oh", that really got her.
Mordecai: Shut up, at least I can get some.
Rigby: Hey! And like, she's not into you, I dunno why you bother trying.
Mordecai: Hey, you don't know that, she just needs some time, ya' know?
Rigby: Suuuuuuure, whatever, man.
Eileen: How'd it go with Mordecai?
Margaret: As well as you would expect.
[Mordecai from the present puts his hands on his face]
Mordecai: Aaaaaaah, god, not this again…honestly, I don't even know why I went after Margaret sometimes, she had all these flings anyways…
Past: As I recall, you were so awestruck by her that you wanted her to be exclusive…
Mordecai: I…okay, I'll admit, I was maybe a little too possessive over someone who wasn't my girlfriend at the time, but Rigby wouldn't stop bragging about it to me…still, I could have handled that better…and then Margaret left for college and…
Past: And you found a new beau…
[The two are teleported to a new scene showing Mordecai sitting on a bench with Cloudy Jay, aka C.J., both laughing about something]
C.J.: And so my mom was all like to my aunt, "Vapor, that child needs a sweater, not a crop top!"
Mordecai: Hehehe, your family sounds crazy, OH, I didn't mean like-
C.J.: Heh, chill out, it's fine, you're right, it's always a storm brewing up with that lot.
Mordecai: Oh, I get it, storm brewing up, you're a real knack with puns.
C.J.: Well, I got it from the master himself.
Mordecai: Heheeee, right…
[C.J. leans on Mordecai's shoulder as the two rest on the bench together before it pans over to present Mordecai and the spirit watching]
Mordecai: Yeah, C.J. was legit, it's almost like we shared everything about each other…those were good times…
Past: You two lasted longer than when you did with Margaret…of course, we both know what eventually happened…
[Mordecai's face pales as the environment changes to the two outside of the chapel, the day of Muscleman and Starla's wedding. The two are several yards away from watching the past Mordecai rush out from the chapel to where a depressed C.J. is standing a distance away. Present Mordecai cringes as he sees his past self approach the cloud girl, her back turned to him]
Mordecai: C.J.?
[CJ doesn't respond at first…she then whips around and smacks Mordecai across the face]
CJ: What the actual HELL was that?
Mordecai: [rubs his face] I-
CJ: You have the audacity to make your friend's wedding, his and fiance's special day, all about yourself…your stupid, stupid self!
Mordecai: If you knew the pain I was going through, you wouldn't be saying that.
CJ: Pain? What do you know about pain? Oh wait…that's exactly what you inflict on everyone you care about…it's because you don't care…it's all about you, your issues, your best interests, it's never about anyone else, it's just…you…
Mordecai: I care about you…haven't I shown that…?
CJ: If you really cared about me…then you wouldn't fucking humiliate me and yourself in front of everyone to watch! That's the thing with you, Mordecai…you're so damn selfish! You don't care about anyone besides yourself, no matter how hard you pretend it's not true…well, I'm making a stand against it…I release you…and I do not want to see your face again, I'm done being your blanket…
[With that, CJ turns around and walks off solemnly, leaving Mordecai all on his own while his present self and the spirit watch from a distance. The blue jay then turns on the spirit]
Mordecai: Why have you shown me this, why do you want to me to relive these agonizing memories?
Past: Because, it's what leads us to the present situation…you became more jaded, repressed, and dare I say, volatile…
Mordecai: You're toying with me, all I've learned from seeing these is that you thrive off watching me suffer, I want to go back, back to my time…
Past: …My intention is not to harm, but to educate…and it seems you still have a long way to go…
[The setting around the two turns to dark with a single light shining overhead]
Mordecai: Wha…?
Past: As I said, these shadows cannot be changed, for they are reminders of what once was…you're holding onto them with a tight grip, and the more you do so, the more you shall remain miserable…and once misery has consumed thou…you will no longer see the light…
[The spirit fades into the darkness, leaving Mordecai all on his own before the scene cuts to black]
[The clock is shown striking two o'clock as Mordecai is seen back in bed…before the sound of laughter can be heard]
Mordecai: [wearily opens his eyes] What…?
[At that moment, a green glow lights up the room, and the next spirit descends, resembling that of a lollipop man with a red mustache, green outfit with red trimmings, and a jolly tone in his voice]
?: HOHOHO, oh, jolly good show!
Mordecai: What the…Pops?
?: Well, well, if it isn't the cold, bleak misery himself, come and join me in the festivities!
[The spirit dances around on Mordecai's bed as the blue jay watches in confusion]
Mordecai: Hey! Hey…HEY!
?: Oh! Pardon me, where are my manners, hmmhmm! I am the Spirit of What is Now…and it appears I've got my work cut out for me.
Mordecai: So…you're the spirit of Present?
Present: Of course, I see what is already going on, and I must say, tis a jolly time at the moment, hoho! Well, for some, anyway.
Mordecai: Either spare me the mockery or I'm going back to sleep.
Present: Oh my, dear boy, there's no time for sleep! Now is the time for celebration!
[As if on cue, the window is open once more, and Mordecai finds himself being led outside midair]
Mordecai: HEEEEEEY! Can you spirits at least give me a heads up or something?!
Present: Tis the fun of it, you never know when you might be flying through the air, hoho!
[Present does a little flip]
Present: But enough about me, let's talk about you. Seems you've got a date with destiny.
Mordecai: And that means…?
Present: We'll be taking a look at the current time, perhaps you might see something you didn't before…
[Another time portal opens up as the two go into it, teleported just outside of the auditorium where the party had taken place]
Mordecai: Geh! Why do we always land in the freaking snow?!
Present: Oh my apologies, let's get warmer, shall we?
[The spirit transports the two inside of the auditorium, in the hallway just before the main room, with the sound of a party still going on in there]
Mordecai: Wait, what? I thought you said this was the present.
Present: This is the present, a little while after you left…for lack of better terms, let's just say.
Mordecai: Oh…
Present: Shall we have a listen…?
Mordecai: I'm not sure…
[Regardless of what the blue jay said, the spirit waves his scepter for the audio to be more clear, several of the guests are talking about Mordecai]
STH: I say, in all my years, I've neva' seen such disrespectful behavior.
Jake: It wasn't just that, he had the nerve to insult all of us while in that drunken stupor.
Chance: Tell ya' what, he's just lucky he didn't his ass kicked, because I woulda gladly delivered. A fist in a box right down his chimney.
Exile: I should have turned him into blue popsicle, and I betski he still taste like shit.
Blitz: Personally, I 'vould have chewed his arse out, quite literally, he 'vouldn't have an ass left.
Applejack: I'd sooner buck 'im outta the room, wouldn't regret it one bit.
Angelina: Did you hear how he insulted Sweetie Belle's cookies? The absolute nerve of that man.
Alice: I don't even know what he was complainin' about, they tasted fine to me.
Beast: I hope he gets exactly what he wanted…bastard.
Antoine: Zat fool can kiss mah French arse.
Robin: I'm not usually one for trash talk…but I say, that Mordecai really is a tool.
Little John: He's as stubborn as a mule and make no mistake.
Rainbow Dash: Hmph, I'll be willing to bet he's at home right now sulking and moping about how much life sucks and how he needs pity.
Fox: Well, if he wants to sulk, I say let him, not like he'll gain anything.
Wolf: Unless he wants to willing stick himself in a pot of hot oil, might finally put himself to good use.
[The scene cuts to Mordecai behind the door and scowling at the shade being thrown at him]
Mordecai: Did you just bring me here to be smacktalked up close?
Present: Did I now? Surely you mustn't have done something to warrant such backlash, wouldn't you agree…?
Rigby: Okay, guys, I think we've had enough dunking on the man now.
Angelina: Why, I'm surprised you'd stick up for him, especially with how he treated you.
Wolf: I get you two are close and shit, but bird brain's a real dick.
Rigby: Maybe, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't also like that.
Angelina: Well, you're not wrong, I've seen it before.
Fox: Yeah, haven't forgotten last Christmas at that.
Rigby: Okay, so I spiked the punch bowl, big whoop!
Twilight: It's not a 'big whoop' if several people end up with hangovers afterward.
Rigby: Okay, okay, bottom line is; while Mordecai acted like a jackass, trust me when I say he's not all bad. In fact, I've a sneaking suspicion as to why he's been like this for a while now…
Alice: Really? Well, what could it be?
Rigby: I think…past memories have been catching up with him, and it's really been taking a toll on him mentally…I guess when push came to shove, that's why he became all unhinged…not saying it as an excuse, but just why he might have done it…
Wolf: If it's that bad, he needs some real therapy.
Fox: Kinda reminds me of someone.
Wolf: You want me to start?
Fox: Preferably not, though, I agree he could use some of it, before he really goes off the deep end. I would know, it's not pretty…
Wolf: Yeah…
Blitz: You know, it's kinda scary to think I 'vas almost in dat position myself, all those years ago…
Exile: Da…it tookski quite a bit of time for me to come to terms with certain 'things' about myself…
Twilight: I suppose recovery from that sort of thing isn't easy…
Chance: Yeah…
Rigby: I'll admit, I've had my own demons in the past, but I've tried to get over them…Mordecai honestly just needs help…I don't expect you all to forgive him, not even sure if he expects himself, but…something to consider…
[The scene cuts back to Mordecai and the spirit]
Mordecai: Wow…he actually stuck up for me…while keeping the situation true…
Present: When friends care about each other, it really shows commitment and how much they mean to one another…I'm not sure if you'd do the same if you were in his position…
Mordecai: What, of course I would, he's my best friend, I've done it before.
[At that moment, Rarity, Fluttershy, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo walk past the two and back into the main room, the lavender maned filly having subsided from her tears, while Mordecai shows a guilty expression as she walks past]
Applejack: There ya'll are, is the lil one gonna be okay?
Sweetie: I…I'm fine now…you all don't think my cooking's bad, do you?
Fluttershy: Of course we don't, sweetheart, Rarity tells me you've been practicing and the ones I had were delicious.
Rarity: It's true, after we paid a visit to Pinkie for a favor, she's been improving tenfold, that man was clearly too drunk to think properly.
Apple Bloom: Well, I know for certain he's gettin' a lump a' coal fer Christmas.
Scootaloo: Oh, he's not getting a lump, he's getting a whole pile!
Apple Bloom: Well, it would serve him right, upsettin' Sweetie Belle like that!
Sweetie Belle: Girls, trust me, it's not too big a deal, I just won't think about what he said, and I know you guys appreciate me.
Scootaloo: Of course we do, you're a Cutie Mark Crusader, we always stick together.
Sweetie Belle: Hmmhmm, thanks.
Pinkie: Weeeeeeell, since this party kinda went off the tracks, I'd say we should do another one tomorrow, ya' know, make up for all that happened tonight. I say we hold a party at the Big Station, there'll be plenty of room!
Jake: …You know, somewhere in the back of my head, I figured she'd say that.
Chance: Well, since there's no stoppin' it, I ain't one to turn down an offer.
[As the adults continue to talk, the scene focuses on the fillies]
Apple Bloom: You sure you'll be alright, Sweetie?
Sweetie Belle: I promise, I'll be fine. Mordecai's not a bad man, he was just out of it. Plus, there's still a chance to grab any leftovers.
Scootaloo: Ooooh, I'm claimin' that.
[The scene cuts back to Mordecai]
Mordecai: I can't believe it…she's not mad…at least, not a lot…?
Present: A child's innocence is a powerful thing…one can only be so lucky to be in the company of those who can find it in their hearts to let bygones be bygones…
[By this point, the spirit has grown a long beard]
Present: Come…there is more to see…
[The spirit teleports the two of them out of the building and to other places that took place after what they had seen; Lady, Duchess, and Perdita opening presents with each other, Sagwa, Dongwa, and Sheegwa playing with Marie, Berlioz, and Toulouse on a snowbank, even Prince John, Sir Hiss, and Ashton clinking glasses with one another. The further they go, the more the spirit seems to age as their beard grows white]
Present: As it seems, people can find happiness in various shapes and sizes, whether in the company of others or by themselves…you understand?
Mordecai: I…I guess I never really thought about it like that until now…
Present: Of course, if you can't be happy, then why should others?
Mordecai: What?
Present: Why, tis not what you said?
Mordecai: Well, yeah, but…I didn't mean it like that…
Present: We must hurry as my time grows short.
[The background suddenly turns to darkness as it did before]
Mordecai: What, what's going on?
Present: It seems you've harbored the sentiment for quite some time now…wanting yourself to be happy without the consideration of others…which would explain your mannerisms…you hold two of man's greatest sins in your pocket…
[Suddenly, the man opens his cloak from below, and from underneath, two disheveled figures resembling those of Muscleman and Hi-Five Ghost appear, grasping and wailing up at Mordecai]
Mordecai: GAAAH! Who are they?!
Present: Their names are Ignorance and Greed…two traits you possess greatly…your ignorance of others, and your greed of thinking solely for your own benefit…these are the burdens that you are to bear…
[The figures disappear from below the spirit as he stares coldly at Mordecai]
Mordecai: But…but I-
Present: They say that one reaps what one sows…you fit that description rather well…for you see, the further one strays from the light, the closer they fall to darkness, where the more they will lose hope, and when all hope is lost…there will be nothing…
[The spirit vanishes into the darkness like the last, leaving Mordecai alone once more, all alone…]
[The clock is shown striking three o'clock as Mordecai is, once again, shown lying in bed. This time, a cloud of dark black smoke fills the room…the air grows colder as Mordecai shivers before waking up, looking in front of him to see a figure dressed in a black cloak, its face covered, yet resembling that of a yeti. Mordecai is frozen in place, feeling small under the specter's presence]
Mordecai: Skips-I mean…are you the Spirit of What Will Be…?
[The spirit remains silent, this only makes Mordecai feel more uneasy]
Mordecai: I-I-I fear you, Spirit…I beg of you…have mercy on me…
[The only response the spirit gives the blue jay is extending his arm…cautiously, the blue jay extends his reach as the spirit pulls him out of the room…through a time portal surrounded in black and grey, they land in a rather dreary location…Mordecai looks around…the sky is overcast, the trees are without leaves…and the air feels cold…]
Mordecai: Spirit, where are we…?
[The spirit remains silent]
Mordecai: …I beg, please say something to me…is this my future?
[The blue jay then hears what he thinks sounds like a very faint 'look'...Mordecai looks in the direction in which the voice was pointing…he wishes he didn't…in the near distance, a group of people have gathered around what appears to be an array of gravestones…the spirit lifts Mordecai off the ground and closer to where everyone has gathered…while most of the names are unclear, two in particular send a cold chill down the blue jay's spine…one reads "R.I.P. Rigby", the next one reads "R.I.P. Sweetie Belle"]
Mordecai: S…Spirit…how…how did they die…what's going on?
[Once again, the spirit remains silent]
Mordecai: …Spirit, please, for the love of God, SAY SOMETHING!
[The spirit's hood comes down, revealing a Skips-esque face, only with black eyes that surround Mordecai in total darkness]
Mordecai: AAAAAAAAHHHHH! Wha…oh not again…spirit…spirit?
[Mordecai looks from left to right, trying to find anyone within the eternal darkness…what he does find causes his face to turn a horrific expression…there, standing several yards away is Mordecai…only different…half of his body has been mutilated and is now made of metal…a cybernetic eye on his left side and what appears to be blades sticking out from his hands]
Mordecai: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…
[Mordecai's throat goes dry, he wants to say more, but he's in too much shock to say anything…even more horrifying is looking up and seeing a pair of eyes glowing above him, followed by a set of strings dropping down…Mordecai in future form…is now a puppet…an object of a larger force…Mordecai in present quivers as he looks down at the red dripping off the blades, as if it was fresh…he then looks back slowly to see the spirit standing behind him]
Mordecai: Spirit…spirit, please, enough! I don't want to see more, I promise I'll repent, I promise to do better, please, anything to avoid becoming this! Spirit…Spirit! SPIRIT!
Future: [whispering] Yoooooooooooooou…eternaaaaal…paaaaaaain…
[Mordecai finds himself being dragged back, right towards what appears to be a coffin, right into a grave. The avian tries to hold on for dear life as he finds himself being sucked in]
Mordecai: WHAT, WHAT'S HAPPENING…NO! IT CAN'T BE! …AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
[Mordecai jolts up…he finds himself once again in bed…only this time, it's morning, eight o'clock exactly, the blue jay holds onto his chest, panting heavily]
Mordecai: I…I'm alive…I'm alive!
[Mordecai chuckles in such relief as he feels his face]
Mordecai: Oh, thank God…I still have a chance, I can make things right, OH, I've GOT to hurry!
[Mordecai quickly gets up out of bed, runs to the bathroom to brush his teeth, hastily makes breakfast, and then dashes out the door, ready to put his plan into motion. He finally arrives at Evergreen Station where everything is going according to schedule]
Mordecai: Right…let's get to work.
[The Trans-Siberian Orchestra rendition of "Carol of the Bells" plays over a montage of Mordecai getting everything ready for the party, organizing the waitlist in the cafe, stringing up more decorations around the station while also giving the signalmen new traffic instructions to divert people and engines away from the station so as to not spoil the surprise. Henry and Edward find themselves having to be diverted away onto other lines, the same goes for Gordon and James, and then Toby and Rosie. Mordecai works all throughout the morning and well into noon as the clock ticks in anticipation, until at last, the party is ready. It transitions to the guests in attendance from last night, including some extras, along with the engines, arriving at the station and stunned to see everything is already decked out]
Applejack: Well, I'll be danged, you sure do work fast, Pinkie.
Pinkie: Wait, I wasn't the one who put this together…Hunter?
Hunter: What, I wasn't anywhere near this place, at least I don't think so.
Pinkie: Hmmmmmm, it looks as though we've got a mystery on our hands…eat your heart out, Fred Jones.
Fluttershy: Actually, I think the answer's closer than we think.
Pinkie: How so, Assistant Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: Well, look over on the bench.
[Right on the bench nearest to them is an exhausted Mordecai taking several drinks of water. Rigby is the first to approach him]
Rigby: Mordecai, did you do all this?
Mordecai: [panting] I…I…I did…all of it…hooooo, God, tired…
Rarity: Well, I will say, for a one-man team, you didn't do half bad a job at it…although I believe you owe a certain someone an apology.
Jake: And ya' know, the rest.
Mordecai: Of…course…
[Mordecai looks over at Sweetie Belle who sheepishly rubs her legs back and forth]
Sweetie Belle: It, it's not a big deal, honest…
Mordecai: No…no, no, Sweetie, I made a huge mistake last night, I'm very, very sorry I insulted your cooking…and I'm sorry to anyone I insulted last night…I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, and that's fine with me…
Sweetie: …Well, you did apologize…I accept…water under the bridge?
Mordecai: Oh, yeah, of course.
Apple Bloom: Awwww, that's so cute.
Scootaloo: Yeeeeah…I'm keepin' ma' on you, tho. [gives Mordecai 'the look']
Rainbow Dash: Hehe, stickin' it to the man, Scootaloo.
Pinkie: Weeeeeeeeeell, since we're all here, I say, LEEEEET'S PARTY!
[The scene cuts to the party in full swing, people dancing to the music, grabbing food from the snack tables, and Thomas O'Malley leading the Alley Cats in "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"]
Thomas: It's the most wonderful time of the year
With the kids jingle belling
And everyone telling you be of good cheer
It's the most wonderful time of the year!
[It cuts to Mordecai sitting down as Rigby sidles up next to him]
Rigby: Hey, man.
Mordecai: Hey…so like, are we still cool?
Rigby: Ah, don't worry about it, we all do dumb shit when we're fucked up, I would know.
Mordecai: Hehe, yeah, you would…ya' know, if there's anything I can do to make it up to you…
Rigby: I'd say I've got everything I need at the moment, just me and my bro hanging out…I will say, I'm surprised you knew where the party was gonna take place.
Mordecai: Well…let's just say I had a bit of forethought…and it came to me in a dream…
Rigby: …SNRK, that's real cheesy, man.
Mordecai: Ah, shush…
[Mordecai and Rigby continue to sit by one another, contentedly relaxing as the scene pans out, the two only just being made out leaning on each other as Thomas finishes the song before the screen cuts to black]
Thomas: It's the most wonderful time,
Yes, the most wonderful time,
Oh, the most wonderful time,
Of the year!
Character Guide:
Mordecai, Rigby, "Benson", "Pops", "Skips", "Muscleman", "High-Five Ghost", Margaret, Eileen, CJ - Regular Show
Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Spike, Trixie, Starlight Glimmer, Lyra Heartstrings, Bon Bon - My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Angelina Mouseling, Alice Nimbletoes - Angelina Ballerina (2002)
Aurora, Maleficent - Sleeping Beauty (1959)
Beast, Belle - Beauty and the Beast (1991)
Blitz, Exile, Hunter, Colleen - Road Rovers
Chance Furlong, Jake Clawson - Swat Kats
Fox McCloud, Wolf O'Donnell - Star Fox
Robin Hood, Little John, Maid Marian, Prince John, Sir Hiss, Sheriff Ashton, Lady Kluck - Robin Hood (1973)
Sir Topham Hatt, Thomas, Edward, Henry, Gordon, James, Percy, Toby, Duck, Emily, Rosie - Thomas and Friends
Thomas O'Malley, Duchess, Marie, Toulouse, Berlioz, Scat Cat, Hit Cat, Peppo, Shun Gon, Billy Boss - The Aristocats (1970)
Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon), Ami Mizuno (Sailor Mercury), Rei Hino (Sailor Mars)
Antoine D'Coolette, Tails, Sonic - Sonic the Hedgehog
Ariel - The Little Mermaid (1989)
Bagheera, Baloo, Shere Khan, Kaa - The Jungle Book (1967)
Bear, Fox, Rabbit, Raccoon - Franklin
Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercup - The Powerpuff Girls
Cat and Dog - CatDog
Cat R. Waul - An American Tail: Fievel Goes West (1991)
Cinderella - Cinderella (1950)
Daphne Blake, Fred Jones - Scooby-Doo
Fat Cat - Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers
Fireman Sam - Fireman Sam
Hokey Wolf - Hokey Wolf
Huckleberry Hound - The Huckleberry Hound Show
Jasmine - Aladdin (1992)
Jinks - Pixie, Dixie, and Mr. Jinks
Lady - Lady and the Tramp (1955)
Lapis Lazuli - Steven Universe
Loopy De Loop - Loopy De Loop
Lizzie McGuire - Lizzie McGuire
Max, Ruby - Max and Ruby
Mulan - Mulan (1998)
Nala, Zira - The Lion King (1994)/Simba's Pride (1998)
Penny Proud - The Proud Family
Perdita, Dolly, Fergus, Hansel, Colonel - 101 Dalmatians (1961)/101 Dalmatian Street
Postman Pat - Postman Pat
Rocko - Rocko's Modern Life
Sagwa, Dongwa, Sheegwa - Sagwa the Chinese Siamese Cat
Snagglepuss - Snagglepuss
Snow White, Grimhilde (Evil Queen) - Snow White (1937)
Tiana - Princess and the Frog (2009)