Hectic.
That was the one word she could use to describe her life right now. For the past three months she's been a clone of herself, the person she once knew a persona crafted to please the world. It was a mask, an outer shell she puts on everyday as a start to her routine for her future. For three months she's been not just Captain Benson but something a figment of that if not more. The walls surround her comfort zone crumbling as she ventures into her new self.
It's crazy when she thinks about it. One case, similar to previous ones, set up to end in victory as it has played out many times before. One case was the reason she felt like her world turned upside down. And in a way it did. While the world never stopped moving, everything around her still going about, hers shifted on its axis.
—
June 14, 2024
Black. That's all she saw or at least what she could make out. The objects in her sight of vision become blurry above her.
She feels still, numb to her core, paralyzed as she can sense people moving around. The voices frantic, yells and demands are made but they come out in a whisper. The ringing in her ears grows by the seconds as she tries to give in, to do something at all.
She felt like screaming, the need to regain her functions but the power to do none of it.
She tries to remember just what led up to this. The raid at the station and with the lack of resources she had to fully protect at that moment. She didn't know while protecting her squad, it was herself who would need saving. Flashes of a gun and a kid pass behind her eyes, an attempt to save the teen when one of her own went to pull the gun. She sees the gun and remembers trying to talk the cop down. It was only a second. The memories came back at lightning speed making her lightheaded as she lay on the floor. The sound of the shot. The gun in the hands of the cop, meant to harm the teen, was set off. It was in that instant that remembers the sting and pain that coursed through her body. She was shot by one of her own trying to save the teen.
"OLIVIA!" she heard a yell and someone laying her down flat on her back, putting pressure on the wound. Fin was it? Maybe, she didn't really have the energy to process it. She didn't have the energy for much right now. She faintly heard her own scream in pain as the hand was heavy on the bullet hole. "Sorry, sorry, sorry." The voice came out muttering low or she hoped. She couldn't muster up any actual range in sound, everything sounding distant.
Looking down, she could feel the color drain from her face as she saw the growing red circle through her shirt. Her body registered the pain again as she saw the blood on her fingers.
It was a close shot. Too close for anyone's liking and she knew it, as she could feel her blood seep out of the wound in her abdomen.
She was aware of someone on their knees on the other side of her as she's gasping for breath. Her hands trying to go to her stomach yet failed as she felt a sting causing her to release a shallow wince. They're too shaky to even lift off the floor and grasp the other person beside her, her body too tired and weak. The pain shot through as she could tell he was trying to stop the bleeding. "Stay with me Liv," she heard through the sob that racked through his body, "Stay with me."
She couldn't stop her own tears that leaked out her eyes.
"Fin…" her voice was barely above a whisper. She couldn't get anything else out, It hurt to breathe as she tried to talk to her dear friend.
"Shh, Liv. Save your strength, Where's the Gotdamn BUS!" came another command so close yet so far away. Fin looked up and screamed at one of the other officers who had walked up to their side.
"I'm cold." Another whisper, choppy as the breaths became choppy. The darkness was already clouding her vision. She raises her brown eyes to the ceiling, the lights up above shedding light into the dark path lying ahead of her. Everything was dimming around her, the light slowly beginning to fade. The cries for her to stay drifting with the light.
"feel, numb" she whispers through chattering teeth. Her eyes started to close, the action becoming easier as she tried to open them. But everything just feels so heavy. The beat that once created the rhythm to her life started to slow, her heart pumping less and less. Her breaths coming out shallow, her lungs fighting to hold the air. With her last bit of strength she opened her eyes briefly to see Fin's face above, saying something, tears falling freely from his eyes. His words mute as he held on to her hand, his body felt scorching next to hers as the coldness seeped in.
Her eyes start to close again and breathing starts to hurt with each weak inhale. The heart once thriving trying to pump blood that isn't there. It stops trying, and I let the darkness take over.
Then it went silent. And just like that her world stopped.
—
The news traveled fast as Olivia was rushed to the hospital.
People in almost every department were alerted of the news of the beloved captain being shot by her own in a station. Old friend Melinda Warner was one of the few and immediately rushed to the hospital. Working with victims and cases gave her connections to the hospital and her phone was working overtime as she made calls. She happened to know the doctor on call but as her phone calls went to voicemail, she knew she had to speak to her friend one way or another.
Arriving at the hospital had been more hectic than she could think of. The waiting room was packed with people known and unknown as the nurses rushed around. Her eyes lock with the familiar brown ones of the acting sergeant as she makes her way through the waiting area, tears streaming down her face. She didn't have time to stop and think as she marched through the room by passing the nurses station, her hair bouncing with the force of her quick steps. She was on a mission, one that she hoped would save her friend.
Using her leverage, she managed to reach the outside of the operating room.
The hallway seemed endless as her feet carried her towards the door. She's just hoping she can ask for a favor, anything for Olivia.
She almost gives a sigh of relief as she sees the people file out the room a look on their faces that unfortunately she was all too familiar with. Holding onto a sliver of hope she finally sees her friend, Jacqueline Emad, walking out. Knowing the look she begins to cry as she realizes she was too late and she lost the captain on the table.
"Melinda I'm sorry" comes the words she didn't want to hear. It hurts to get the confirmation, seeing the memories fly past her eyes as she squeezes them shut in attempts to stop the tears. The images only made her decision to ask the doctor more reasonable and she knew what she had to do.
"Is there anything you can do?" Her question comes out in mumbles as her tears continue to stream down her face, "she's a long time friend, we can't lose her" she said reminding her of the other person they knew that would be begging her the same.
"There's one thing, you know but"
"Please anything"
"Mel, I can't just"
"Please" It was the final plea before she watched the doctor turn and return to the operating room. It was a couple minutes of hushed voices before she saw the people file out the room leaving the doctor and the nurse she was all too familiar with.
She knew what was about to happen. The thought of it put an ill feeling in her stomach, a feeling that didn't last long as the thought of losing her friend sent a shiver down her spine. She would make it up to her a thousand times over once she's awake, for the years that were destined to come.
She made her way back to the waiting area, giving Fin a reassuring look as she sat down in one of the empty chairs. The sound of the clock on the wall being drowned out by her beating heart. Her nerves were on end as the minutes passed, her thoughts on what was happening in the operating room around the corner.
An hour passed by that felt like eternity before she heard the familiar clicks of heels against tile growing near. It wasn't long before she saw Doctor Emad appear, walking towards them as polish as ever. Furrowing brows she asked her a silent question and let out a sigh of relief as she received a wink in return. Everything was ok, well for now.
"Family of Olivia Benson?" Came the words and Melinda stood with the rest of the important people in her friend's life ready to hear the news of their beloved. Although unlike the rest, Melinda knew that the person they once knew wouldn't be the same all thanks to her.
—-
It was dark.
That's all she could tell. It was strange honestly, the blackness seemed like a continuation of the last time the darkness took over. Was she dead? She didn't know, maybe? Everything felt still around her, everything except this tiny growing pain within. Maybe she was dead and that's why it felt like she was being burned from the insides.
She tries to focus on anything else besides the pain that seems to be growing by the second. Drowning out what she could of the pain, she could finally make out the beeps of the monitors. As she zoned in on listening, she started to hear more of her surroundings. Her ears perked up as she could hear whispers of people around, something that sounded like breaths from someone close, and a beating sound that seemed intriguing. She was still in the hospital, so maybe not dead. Then why did it feel like she was burning in hell inside?
She had no time to think about that as her body focused on the beat she was hearing. The steady thrum seemed to lure her closer to awakening, the darkness behind her eyes getting dimmer as it intoxicated her. Her body seemed drugged to the rhythm of its beat, she didn't know what it was but she knew she needed it. She could feel her fist clench as the pain grew stronger along with the intensifying sound creating a symphony of agony she couldn't help but wince at.
Her eyelids felt heavy as she struggled to lift them, the glimmer of light bright shining through the tiny opening. She was losing focus, the beat and pain taking over forcing her body into overload. The sound from around grew overlapping with one another creating chaos for her already scrambled mind.
Snapping her eyes open, she looked around the almost empty room. She still heard the whispers but saw no one around, her eyes were moving frantically as she tried to catch her barings. It wasn't until she heard the sound of the pounding drum get louder that she locked eyes with the other person in the room. Melinda Warner. She could tell something was off about herself as she viewed her friend. The sound that was taking over her body coursing through her veins as she zoned in on her friend's neck. What happened next even scared herself as she went to leap from the bed, her body jerking back from the metal restraints holding her to the bed.
A small scream came from the corner of the room and she watched as the doctor reeled back. It was a look in her eyes she had seen before, fear maybe and it wasn't just the look, it was as if Olivia could smell the fear oozing off her friend. It was almost intoxicating.
She kept pulling on the restraints, the sound of the metal hitting the bed echoing throughout the room. Her body put on a fight that she couldn't stop if she tried. She heard the footsteps quickly approaching before the door even opened showing the doctor and a nurse.
"Shhh Olivia" The doctor cood, a hand reaching out to swipe a stray hair from Olivia's forehead. She hadn't realized the sounds of pain coming out of her as her focus was still on the growing beat in ears. It felt like her blood was on fire as her heart pumped, slowly. That was strange, she thought. Her heartbeat was slower than usual, barely beating at all. The touch of the doctor was soothing like she knew what to do to ease the pain. She watched as a light hue of red glossed over her eyes, it was weird they were conveying reassuring words without her speaking them. "What" was the only word she could get out as a million questions swarmed her head.
"Slow down her body is going through a lot right now. You're just waking up asleep for two days, you had a long surgery, excessive loss in blood" The nurse spoke from where she stood at the wall. Her eyes showed the same hint in color as the doctor before her. "We've been the only three with access to the room. It closed off to anyone not allowed by Doctor Emad to insure a fast recovery with this"
"What" she tried again, the rasp in her voice stopping her as the word clogged in her throat.
The doctor picked up the cup that she had brought in and handed her the cup full of red liquid.
"Drink this," she said, watching Olivia as she eyed the cup skeptically. She brings the cup up to her lips, taking a sip and regretting it. "It tastes like shit."
"You need to drink it otherwise you're going to become weak and the change will take longer. This will help with the change. It will ease the cramping and headaches."
"The change?"
"Drink up first and then I will explain"
She continued to drink the liquid, it tasted of copper, the bitterness coating her mouth and throat. While the taste wasn't something of her liking, she almost became instantly addicted. Before she realized she had completely downed the drink, licking her lips to catch any remaining drops.
The smile on the women's faces in the room showed her she had done a good job and she instantly sat down the cup. "Soo" she looks at the women in the room waiting for one of them to speak.
"I know you probably have a lot of questions?" She almost scoffed at that. A lot seemed like an understatement as the pain that ravaged her body started to subside.
"I know but we can start with the smaller ones" came a voice through her head. Her eyes bulged at that. How could she read her mind? "It only be until you're more healed and learn to control everything" Olivia couldn't help but shake her head at the vagueness once again.
"Can someone just start explaining to me exactly what the hell is going on?"
"Olivia, do you remember being shot?" She racked her brain quickly before wincing at the memory looking at the doctor she shook her head yes. The women in the room all exchanged looks and she could feel the nervous energy in the room rise.
"Well Olivia you died?"
"What?" she looks confused " I died and then was revived right? I'm alive right now"
"No" Came Melinda's voice still off in the distance. "Liv, You died. Well you are dead sort of"
The look of confusion grew on her face as she continued to look at her friend in the corner. She couldn't help but let her eyes drift down to her neck on the edge of getting lost in the feel once more. She was knocked out of the daze by the sound of the doctor in her head again, her eyes shooting her a quick glance to stop the intrusion before returning her focus to Mel as she spoke.
"I got the news that you were shot and it didn't look great. By the time I got here, it was too late but my friend, Doctor Emad, is special and it was the only thing I could think to ask of her at the time. I know you'll probably hate me for it but I couldn't just let you die not with your son and all you done for" she kept rambling her apologies, something Olivia thought to pocket for another conversation to have later, the words she was spilling further confused Olivia as she still didn't know exactly what she was apologizing for.
"Mel, relax" the doctor spoke, pulling both the women out their thoughts. "You're rambling and it's just making the confusion grow in the poor girl" Olivia's eyebrows furrowed once again. Who the hell was this woman?
"So if I'm dead then what the hell am I?"
—-
That was three months ago and she's still trying to wrap her head around everything.
It helped that Melinda was near being the connection to the others while her body was taking on its new form. She was thankful for her friend. If it wasn't for Melinda, she doesn't know if she would be alive today. Granted, the option was drastic and life changing. It's scary when she thinks about it. In her 50 years of living never would she have thought she would be in her position. Hell she never thought any of this could happen in real life. Her life had become something straight out of the books or movies, a fantasy, maybe even a nightmare depending on the person.
She remembers when she woke up, the shock she felt as she received the news from the doctor and her friend. It made sense given how she had felt in the moment, the woman known as Olivia Benson was just a figment of her own imagination as the new rolled in.
Out with the old and in with the new they say, well she felt that plus more. It was exhilarating becoming a new version of her badass persona, an alter ego that she owns. A complete day and night comparison is what she would call it.
A vampire.
A creature of the night. Part of the living dead, a magical being in fantasies known to many, but none of those stories carried out the complete truth.
Besides from the first two weeks she didn't feel the fiery rage for the thirst of blood as heard in myths. The agony she felt at first faded off with each day she took in human blood. After the first taste of it in the hospital it became easier intake, it being the only blood she was fed for the first few weeks. Jaqueline told her it ensures the fastest change, human blood being the best at helping them heal. Once her body finished its morphin stage a mix of animal blood was next, the mix needed to wind her down from the need of only human blood in the process making her stronger.
She was given a leave of absence, the period of time much greater than the average. It wasn't questioned as her situation was drastic, she was shot at close range resulting in her dying, three months was at minimum the time she thought she deserved. Using the reasons of needing therapy for both physical and mental, her time was used to change and learn the ropes of being a vampire. Jaqueline said she would be grouped with one of the shortest transformation periods considering she was changed by a powerful vampire as herself.
She remembers waking up and being told of the procedure, how she was given Jaqueline's blood on the table. It was too late for the simple biting way, she had already died before Mel could ask. Jaqueline had to give Olivia her blood also, helping the venom from her bite revive her and ignite the changing process quicker. Two processes in one, both ways working over time to insure she would be able to live her life in the real world sooner than most. It was something Jaqueline had been abdoment about, not to halt her life any further than needed. She had an obligation, one that she could help on a greater scale now that she was changed.
During the conversation, she found out the nurse in assistance, Eleanor, was a vampire also. The hue in her blue eyes made sense, it even further explained why she was able to read her like Jaqueline. Olivia learned Nora was in a coven under Jaqueline, one she would soon be a part of, and also worked alongside Jaqueline for the people of their kind. It wasn't a lot of them, only a few covens across the word all connected by the originals. She met the rest of the members of the coven, all nine women of various ethnicities, most of them filed in throughout the day to help with her recovery.
She had yet to be told the few stories, promises of more to be told as they wanted to focus on her healing first. She couldn't argue with that, she had felt the need to see the outside world grow as she was confined to the house. During the first portion of her leave she stayed at the covenstead, a home on the outskirts secluded enough to protect them from the outside world.
The first month being spent learning to control her urges, the need for blood strong as her body continued its journey into another form. She may have been a newborn but she knew there was no way she was near ready to be in the outside world at that time. The phone calls from friends, afternoons with Melinda and the brief visits with her son was enough to tell her she could snap at any moment outside of this place.
The latter came in small doses during the first half of that month as she was too scared to hurt him. She was thankful for the McCanns for taking Noah in during the time. He stayed with them the first month, the first two weeks were hard filled with video calls that left her wanting to see him in person. He would ask the questions of why he had to stay away and she could only muster up that she's staying with the doctor of her surgery and friends to make sure she recovers fully. It wasn't a lie but it wasn't the full truth either and it got harder to use that excuse to hold off.
She broke at the end of the second week wanting to see her son, she had gotten great with her control and her talks with Mel were no longer accompanied by the sound of her heartbeat thrumming in the distance. It was Sarah Jean, one of the women in the coven, that she broke down too, the southern charm in the woman able to relax her overwhelming feelings. She explained how when a person is turned, all their senses go into overdrive. Their hearing, smell and touch are all heightened. Along with that the type of person they were and their emotions are also heightened. It was one of the ways she was able to read Olivia so well in that moment and also another reason why she would be willing to have a discussion with the others.
While the control she had was good, they were worried his young body filled with an abundance of adrenaline would be too much. It was risky being around her boy, but it was even worse being away. So with a promise of only afternoon visits, Noah was set to be picked up by Melinda while she stopped by the place. It was easy with it being the summer time, the boy being occupied by summer dance classes for most of the day.
The first visit happened and it was everything Olivia could've wanted. Noah coming by was a highlight and it eased her worries with him staying at the Carisi's afterwards to be closer, her friends more than willing to help. It was almost painful to control the creature she had become at first but the light in her son's eyes was enough to suppress any overwhelming feeling the creature inside was stirring up.
It was nice having him over and it hurt to see him go at night. It only took until the second day of his afternoon visits until Noah begged to stay longer, not wanting to leave. The women couldn't tell him no. From then Noah stayed between the Carisi's house and Mel's on the days that the visits dragged well into the evening. With Mel being in the know of the coven, they felt it would be a better option for him to stay with her if it helped to ease Olivia's worries on certain nights. It was nice having people who could read her easily when it came to these things even if it was due to them being able to read her mind when her wall is down.
They created a small routine, Noah being transferred between households, it was troublesome to Olivia at how misconstrued his routine has become but the young boy didn't seem to mind. After the month, they felt it was safe for him to stay fully. She was apprehensive about it, her son being one to dig for information and she could already see the questions in his eyes when he visited. It hurts to know she can't answer any of them, at least not now anyway. She knew he could tell something was different and was just waiting for the shoe to drop. For now, she'll take his innocence for however long it'll remain wanting to hold off on introducing him fully to her new world.
The next two months she spent practicing honing her new abilities and strengths. It became her job for the time being as each woman was able to help her grow in different areas. She had only really met eight of the members, assuming Melinda was the ninth somehow, but so far she knew that they all held value to the coven bringing different specialities. If she wasn't working on that she was getting lessons, what Eleanor or Nora like to call Vampire 101. She was told that the vampires were "dreamy, immortal women who have been alive forever, and will forever be alive." She adds, "We are dark and mysterious and powerful, and do not fit into the image of womanhood that we are forced to entertain."
She remembers her mentioning that every vampire newborn has given off feminine energy. No labels are given to a born vampire. It made sense when she thought about it. Why the tale of vampires has been kept under wraps for so long. All the vampires in the mythical stories before have been men, violent and scary carrying off the acts of evil. It would be impossible to not live in that shadow in society, stereotypes held more weight than they actually prove most times.
She had only really met eight of the members, assuming Melinda was the ninth, but so far she knew that they all held value to the coven bringing different specialities. Vampires weren't the only beings of her fantasies that have been brought forth, magic weighed heavenly in their world. Vampires and witches were sistering societies, each one being around for a long time. Esi and Marie were the main ones in their coven that specializes in it under Jaqueline. Their backgrounds come from places and times where voodoo and vodou rang high. She learned bits and pieces about each person's lives, each coming from different times and eras, but it was never too much as they wanted her recovery to be the main focus.
She watched as they went about life and how some have partners who chose to spend eternity with them, she would never pressure Noah into that decision and that was her only family. That thought grew on her mind as she trained and learned more about her new life. It was as if the more she learned, the more things it gave her to think about in regards to her future. It would be eternal and she has had her times of being lonely, that wasn't something she wished for herself for years to come. She knew it was only one person she would want to spend it with. But was it really fair to put this burden onto someone else just for her sake?
It took a conversation with Mel during the beginning of her third month to finally get her to think more about that. It was one of the many conversations they had that stuck with her for many reasons.
—-
They were sitting on the patio out back, staring out into the open field as the bright sun shined down from above. You could smell the pollen that drifted off the flowers in the distance. Every soft breeze following around them cools them off slowly. It was one of the places they often chose for their afternoon talks. It was nice and a complete opposite of the busy city, something Olivia never would've thought she liked so much. It was calming for all the chaos that seems to be going on in her life at the moment.
It was nice to be out here with her thoughts, lately they have been running a muck. From sun up to sun down and in between her training, it was only one thing that plagued her mind. She couldn't stop thinking about her forever and what that could mean for her now. Her eyebrows furrowed in thought and it caught the attention of the person beside her. "Something on your mind?"
"What are you reading my mind now too?"
Melinda laughs at that, " No your face just shows it" Liv's frown lines smoothed at that. "Talk to me"
"I've been thinking lately"
"About"
"Life." She scoffs at the word as it leaves her lips. A vague answer but it held so much weight when it came to her at this moment. " I'm living a life right now that will never end."
"Liv, I'm sorry" Melinda begins to apologize. It was something that had faded out over that past month but a phrase Liv had heard too many times so far.
"Mel, It's fine, I know you had a choice and I don't blame you for that. If anything I can't thank you enough actually. You've given me a second chance, don't beat yourself up about that." She felt that woman's words, held them close to her barely beating heart, and would live the rest of her life showing her friend that.
She watched as the woman's eyes glossed over before she quickly recovered, offering her a watery smile in the process. "Ok so you've been thinking about life, what about it exactly"
"I've been learning a lot, in the training and outside of it. It has made me think about how lonely it could be in the future." She lets out a somber sigh when the words leave her lips. Out of habit, her hand reaches up and rubs the compass, grounding her as it has been doing for the past few months. She was grateful to have gotten back after the incident, Melinda having gotten for her from the department.
"I see it was a good call to find the necklace, Fin said you never took it off, figured it had to be important."
"Gossiping bastard" the words came out in a low mumble but it was loud enough for Melinda to hear them and it caused her to choke on her drink a little. "But he's right, it is important"
"Would it have something to do with what's got you thinking?" Olivia didn't really know how to answer that question. It wasn't really the necklace that had her thinking but rather the giver of it.
"Maybe," She lets out a slow breath as she keeps rubbing the pendant. "It was a gift. From Elliot" That got Melinda's interest and she sat her cup down on the table a few inches away.
"So Elliot has got your mind running wild" She can see the smirk on her face and can't help the one that grows on hers.
"No well its not only just him" Tucking her feet under her in the seat she settles in for the conversation ahead. " He gave me this necklace, supposed to lead me to happiness and everything. Lately since I've been learning more about my new life, it's been an anchor rather than a compass. I feel like I'm using it to hold on to the old me and I'm afraid that when I leave the confines of this house, things will change."
"Before the accident it was doing its job, leading me to happiness. I was close, we had text before he went under, and I was close to finally letting him in but," She lets out a shaking breath, voicing the words in her mind becoming a difficult task as her emotions flare.
"But with the change you don't know how to move forward again" Comes Melinda's words finishing her sentence as she gathered herself across from her.
"Yeah," another shaky breath escapes, " It would be selfish of me to want something more when I'm not the person he grew to know all over again. I can't ask him for his forever if the forever don't coexist with each other. I don't even know if he would even want me, hell I'm practically Satan in his religion." The last sentence came out almost as a whimper. Melinda could feel the sadness in her friend's voice, her thoughts of living without love hitting her hard in the gut. It hurt to hear her friend say she's not worthy of love just because she was different, especially from a man who has loved her since before Melinda could think.
"Olivia, we're talking about Elliot here, the man that loved you while in a Catholic marriage. He has already dealt with the sins in his book, the devil in the form of lust." Olivia's eyes bulged at her friend's words. " I know you guys didn't sleep together this, that, and the third but that didn't stop that man from falling in love with you. And for that reason alone, I would bet that this life you have now, would not push him away."
She let her words seep in as she picked up her glass to drink. Deep down she knew she was right. If anyone would be able to understand her life, it would be her partner. She just had to get over her fears of being let down again, especially with this new chance at life.
They two settled into silence again, enjoying the summer heat as they both drifted into their thoughts. A question flashed in her mind and Olivia turned to her friend observing her before saying, "I never did ask you, how did you end up in the coven?"
"Oh I'm not IN the coven," putting emphasizes on the word in referring to being a vampire " I just help out whenever they need me"
"Help out how exactly?"
"I met Jaqueline through a friend of ours actually, it was during a time where the supplies were running low for them, human blood. I was asked if I could help and since they were so important to them, I couldn't say no. I learned how good of people they were and the good Jaqueline did to help out in the shadows, so it was easy to say yes. I helped out with supplying mostly the blood, maybe some organs from bodies before they are embalmed for other things. You know spells and stuff." She shrugs a little waving off the sentence with her hands as if Olivia could just fill in the blanks. "They aren't the type to just feed you know and I was someone with access to bodies as cruel as it sounds." She had a look on her that Olivia could only describe as respect when talking about the coven and helping them.
"So you're technically the supplier"
"Well yes if I was dealing drugs" They laugh at that cause while it's not, it provides the same sensation in a sense.
" Wait, you said you met through a friend of ours?"
"Well get into that later actually?" and with that Melinda got up and disappeared behind the sliding door leaving Olivia to ponder all afternoon.
It was early in the evening when the covenstead doors opened and she received her answer. In walked none other than Alex Cabot with bags trailing behind her. Confusion traced Olivia's face as she stared at her long time friend.
"I guess you're the friend Mel was talking about"
"Hey, Olivia" She walks forward leaving her bags in the open foyer as she makes her way into the den. "I would been here sooner but I didn't know exactly how to explain"
"What? How to explain you're a vampire?" She felt hurt that her friend had kept this from her and even more hurt that it seems she trusted Melinda more with this information than her.
"Mel found out after I had to fake my death" the voice came through her head. She realizes she's slipped and lets her walls down, the feeling of betrayal clouding her senses.
"Can you please not do that"
"Sorry, its just" She watches as Alex searches for the correct words. Looking at her friend now, it wasn't hard to tell she was one of them. Her bone structure is sleek and strong, it almost as if she hasn't changed a day since she last saw her. Her moment of observation is cut by the blonde words."Can we sit and talk"
No words came out as Olivia turned and made her way further into the den, taking a seat on the plush loveseat. She waited until her friend took a seat before giving her the floor to speak.
"You know the story of my time in witness protection. I should've died then, really but I was a vampire well before then and that's how I survived. Thanks to Jaqueline we were able to play it off to the Feds as a miracle. It wasn't until after I came back to the job and how to come clean to everyone that Mel found out. Somehow she had gotten hold of my files, being a doctor and all, and looked through them. Unlike the feds, she thought the miracle was too good to be true. Had questions, started digging more. She confronted me one night when we met up, I didn't tell her then only brushed it off as something I couldn't explain just for her to trust me. It wasn't until the coven was getting low that I felt I didn't have a choice but to tell her. I knew her suspicions were still strong and coven was in dire need." A small sigh leaves her lips before she finishes, " Plus it was nice having someone close in both worlds. A friend in the know of everything, someone outside of the coven. " She looks at Liv when she finishes the story, her eyes showing her that it was the truth. She lets the feeling of hurt fade as she lets the story sink in, the last sentence hitting her hard. It brought the conversation with Melinda back to mind and she couldn't help but think how nice it would be to let Elliot in. As she files that sentence in the pros column of the good and bad in telling Elliot, another question comes to the forefront of her mind.
"So how'd you meet Jaqueline?"
"I met her at a speakeasy" A look of shock flashed on Liv's face that almost made Alex laugh " You wouldn't believe the life I lived then" Just then they heard a loud sound come from one of the studies down the hallway.
"Look I'll tell you more another time," Liv almost rolls her eyes at that. It's the same thing the other had done, pushing off the tales of the backgrounds and newborn life.
Standing up, Alex looked towards Olivia, eyes showing happiness for their reunion. "I'm really happy you're okay Olivia." The words causing Olivia's eyes to gloss over. The two friends share a hug, the feeling comforting to both as it feels like old times. Pulling apart they share a brief smile before walking out the den in search of the rest of the coven members.
—-
She felt great after that, as if it was the last thing she needed to complete the new her. Some clarity needed for the courage to step out into the world.
Her first day back at work had been out of the normal, well her new normal. She was hyper aware of everything. Conversations happening a mile away were clouding her mind as she sat behind her desk. The first case was hard controlling her frustrations with the perps, detectives, and the higher ups. She could tell her right hand was concerned by the glances sent her way and the numerous times he stood at her door. She brushed him off numerous times and even had Melinda give him reassurance as she continued on with her work week.
It was her second week back at work now, back at home, and she felt settled. She had finally got into the groove of things being the usual Captain Benson throughout the day and delving into her new life in the hours of the night.
She had received calls and messages from almost everyone she could think of. All asking how she was, it felt nice to be missed and loved. Each call ends with a promise to meet up or check in. She still had one thing she had to do. She had heard from Sergeant Bell that Elliot's undercover op was finished. When she got that call she felt her world stop. The thoughts from the last month rushed back to her head at the knowledge that he was back. It also didn't help that a few of those check in calls came from members in his family. The first call was Kathleen quick to ramble any questions she had. Oliva could hear the worry in the young woman's voice and no matter how many times she got tired of reassuring people, she pushed it aside for her. That call lasted for what felt like hours but was only one.
When getting the call that he was back, it took four days before the calls finally came in. She figured he was tired of waiting on her and wanted to make the move. She was frightened. How can she navigate whatever they are now that she is changed? Every worry she had before her talk with Melinda starts to taunt her again and she watches as his calls go to voicemail. The whole day was like that, spent watching his name appear and disappear as her voicemail box grew along with it.
By the second day she's decided to call Melinda and talk to her about it, wanting solace on the subject just as before. She told her everything from the calls and voicemails to how she was feeling worried once again. Her friend reassured her again that if anyone would understand it would be Elliot, everything aside he knew her, and the same Olivia Benson he knows, she could still see there.
She offered to give him a call or ask Alex too if Olivia wanted. It helped having them right there in her corner. Not having anyone else to talk to felt like a heavy weight on her shoulder but it was moments like this that she remembered her friends and how they knew her in both lives. With a thank you, Olivia took her up on the offer mentioning she just needed a little time right now.
When she finally got home that day, she spent the rest of the night thinking, only getting a few hours of sleep as she didn't need much. The time she thought she needed turning into until the next morning. She was done trying to deal with her emotions, the compass no longer a clutch to ground her while she waited. She was ready to take the step now, done worrying about making this step while being a part of the walking dead. She had felt lonely before and she could only imagine what that could feel like for the centuries to come.
She was about to live for eternity, a life bound to never halt, and while she did have her son and new found friends, there would be an empty space in heart. A space that could only be filled by love, a love only a partner could only give. She would tell him that the compass has completed its purpose leading her to the happiness she knew she needed all along.
By the end of the next day, she finally made her decision and called him. She felt nervous as the phone rang, each second he didn't pick up feeling like hours. It only took 3 rings before she heard his voice carry through the other end. The deep tone of his voice was smooth as he said her name, making her body stand on edge. It made her decision to meet up feel right and she smiled when he mentioned how nice it was to hear from her. There was no way she would've been able to go on without this. Interrupting his question of how she was doing, she asked if they could meet up the next day. She wanted to answer his questions in person and most of all just see him. It had been so long since they've been face to face and maybe she was acting off her rage emotions but she needed to be near him. When his acceptance to her invitation came instantly she didn't wait to mention the lounge and told him to give her name at the door.
It was a lounge owned by one of the members in the coven Genevieve and was used by people in their community only, the witches and vampires. To keep that code and ensure their safety, the lounge was an invite only club. This also helped the coven for when they used one of the back rooms for their personal use of daily practices.
It was the day of and as she sat in a backroom of The Lovelorn, she could feel some of the nerves coming back. She had gone out and bought something new to wear, feeling like nothing in her closet lived up to the new her. The black pants she wore hugged her hips, showing off the new tone structure of her ass before they flared at the bottom. She had a nice sheer blouse on, the outline of her bra showing through giving off the sexiness she felt. She found a black blazer dress adorned to tie it all together as the fall breeze was starting to settle in. It fit the new her. Her eyes seemed even more daring with the dark shadow smoothed in her crease. It was a hard time for her to leave the house, not used to seeing herself in this state. She felt good and couldn't wait to see the look in his eyes as he took her in.
She was alerted by Genny of his arrival and she watched him walk through the door from a camera in the room. She wouldn't lie and say he didn't look good. The black henley he sports has the few buttons there undone. His pants fit his ass perfectly as he walked up to the bar and took a seat. She could've moaned when she caught his baby blues through the camera, the low red light of the bar making the shine even brighter. It's a nice contrast she thinks, her eyes trailing down to the gray hairs of his beard loving the way they lit up in the light. She couldn't wait to run her fingers through it, feel the hairs against her skin as he kisses her neck. She lets out a breath at that thought not wanting to speed down that path before she even said hello.
Not wanting to make him wait any longer, she makes her way out the room and up through the hall before climbing the set of stairs that lead to the main area. It felt as the room stopped once she stepped in, her eyes settling on the way his back muscles moved as he rested against the bar. She caught the eyes of a few women staring and immediately sent a glare their way, a warning to back off while stating her claim.
Taking in a breath, she tapped him on the shoulder watching as he slowly turned around in the stool.
"Hey partner" came out her voice low and full of lust. She felt pride in the way his jaw dropped, his mouth agape at her as he devoured her with his eyes. A smirk over took her nude stained lips, his reaction giving her a boost in confidence. She wanted more and couldn't miss the opportunity to spur him on with her voice. "Missed me"