The week seemed to stretch endlessly, each day feeling like an eternity to the twins, who were trapped in a vortex of boredom, their only solace being the monotonous churn of homework. Dean, on the other hand, was enveloped in a thick haze of exhaustion, the kind that seeped into his bones and left him feeling hollow. Sleep was a distant memory, and irritability clung to him like a shadow. He could sense the concern radiating from the twins and his friends and felt their watchful eyes on him, but he brushed it aside, offering half-hearted reassurances that he was fine. Deep inside, he recognized that his facade was slipping, and the twins wrestled with their growing apprehension, unsure how to bridge the widening gap.
One restless night, the hotel room was cloaked in silence, broken only by the distant hum of the air conditioning and the occasional creak of the building settling. Dean lay in a deep sleep, but it was a troubled slumber. The shadows cast by the bedside lamp flickered ominously, mirroring the turmoil in his mind. TJ lay beside him, drifting in and out of dreams until he was jolted awake by the sound of his brother mumbling, filled with distress. Sophie ensconced in her bed nearby, remained blissfully unaware of the tension escalating in the room.
Suddenly, TJ found himself wide awake, his heart racing as he focused on Dean, who was twitching, his brow dampened with cold sweat. Panic surged through him like a tidal wave, propelling him to shake Dean awake.
"Dad, please! Wake up! You're scaring me!" TJ exclaimed, urgency lining his voice.
Startled, Dean shot up in bed, a wild look in his eyes as he struggled to piece together his surroundings amidst the fog of a nightmare. Time and space seemed to collapse in on him. It took a moment for the reality to settle—he was in the hotel room, his children nestled safe and sound nearby. It was supposed to be a sanctuary, but the air was thick with remnants of fear.
He closed his eyes briefly, inhaling deeply, as he sought to calm the frantic rhythm of his heart. However, when he opened his eyes again, he found TJ's expression overflowing with worry, eyes shining with concern that pierced through Dean's bravado.
"Dad, what's wrong? Please, don't say it's nothing. I can see it. You're not alright," TJ implored, his voice trembling with youthful determination. "You do so much for me and Sophie. Let us help you. It's okay not to be okay. If something's bothering you, please just tell me. I want to help carry the burden."
The raw sincerity in TJ's words tugged painfully at Dean's heart, and a wave of emotion washed over him. For so long, he had worn the mantle of strength, feeling he had to be unbreakable for the sake of his children. But in that moment, he felt the weight of vulnerability, a stark reminder that he wasn't as invincible as he had tried to appear.
His nightmares had become an unrelenting routine, a parade of horrors that danced through his subconscious, each one morphing into a new fear. He couldn't voice the monsters lurking in the shadows—visions of their kidnapping that had gripped him with chilling dread. Not when the twins were still grappling with their own scars.
After a shaky breath, he managed to whisper, "It was a nightmare."
"A nightmare? Dad, I don't remember you ever having those. What was it about?" TJ pressed, concern etched across his young face.
Dean's heart ached as he confessed, "It was about when Mom and that jackass took you and Sophie. I've been having them a lot lately, and they feel so real." Each word felt like a weight slipping off his shoulders, the truth clawing its way out after being bottled up for too long.
Without hesitation, TJ threw his arms around Dean, holding him as if he could shield him from the ghosts of their past. The kidnapping had left a mark on the twins, but it was a hidden torment for Dean, who had endured his own hell while they were missing. He had been paralyzed with fear, haunted by thoughts of what could have happened, and enraged by the betrayal from the one person who was supposed to protect them.
"I'm so sorry, Dad," TJ murmured, voice thick with guilt. "We didn't even think to ask you how you were after everything that happened."
Dean wrapped his arms tightly around the boy, feeling the warmth and love emanating from him. "No, you don't need to apologize. It's my job to protect you both, not the other way around."
"But we do need to worry about you! If we don't, then who else will?" TJ insisted, his youthful fervor shining through. "We're family, and all we have is each other, along with Uncle Seth, Roman, Jimmy, and Jey. When one of us is hurting, we're all hurting. Let us help you!"
"I really couldn't have asked for better kids than you and Sophie." Dean pressed a tender kiss to the top of TJ's head, feeling the love wrap around him like a comforting blanket. "Alright, I promise, I'll seek help. Not just for myself, but for you and Sophie too."
For far too long, Dean had prioritized the twins' needs over his own, pushing his struggles deep down. But in the depths of that moment, amidst their embrace, the realization dawned on him: it was okay not to be okay. And with that acknowledgment came a profound understanding—he needed to seek help, not only for his sake but for the well-being of his family.