6:32 am 29, Monday October, 2007

…

"Makayla, I promise I'm going to help you get the kids back. But Makayla, please, get some sleep so I can help you get your kids back. Panicking and calling me every hour isn't going to make things move faster. Get some sleep." Charlie had instructed, I could hear the paternal and police urge not to curse me out, I was stressing him out I know that.

I couldn't relax. I couldn't stay in the house and I couldn't be outside either. I needed sleep, I definitely know I need sleep. I woke up two hours after my last entry and my sobbing session. I got ready for the day and I cleaned the house again. I think I spent equal amount of time in each of the bedrooms during my calls to the station. And then after Charlie yelled at me I went shopping, or tried to, even though it was Sunday the market was packed and I could feel the pressure of eyes everywhere.

I went to Forks and paid off my dues at the daycare and then shopped at the market. I took about four trips to the van with the money I put aside to be stocked up for three months now since it was just me but once I got the kids back it'll be a month. I finally ate after that. I freaking leaked through two shirts before I took care of that. I tried watching TV, I tried reading, I tried listening to music, I tried driving around but nothing worked.

Embry and Seth stopped by around the time the sky was getting dark and then I started to relax a bit.

"Hey, Makayla," Embry greeted, he looked as restless as I was.

"Hey, Embry."

"Hey."

"Hey, Seth. Do you two… want to come in?" I asked, unsure what to do.

I was kind of weirded out by feeling relaxed in their presence or maybe it was Seth's… he stood close and it eased me but I can't wrap my head around it right now. Why? Why was I so calm? Why did I unconsciously wish to be closer? They asked to stay the night and I didn't even think about it before I said yes and Embry had replied with a convincing argument before he realized that I already said yes.

I need sleep. I need to sleep.

The last I checked, Embry was in Kristen and Serenity's room with the door open, the couple of times I checked on him he had been looking around, at Kristen's desk and/or on her bed. One of the times he was looking through one of Serenity's books. He was worried and he looked exhausted, I didn't pry even though maybe I should've but I didn't. Seth wandered around most of the time, that considered me too because I couldn't stay in one room for too long.

I woke up in Michael's room with my alarm going off to wake up if Liam didn't wake up before the alarm did. Seth was waking up from on the floor of the room when I staggered up from the floor when I fell off the bed. They were both up and out of the rooms by the time I left mine after turning the alarm off. I stood in the doorway of the front door looking at the driveway realizing that they didn't come in a car but instead they walked, I felt like an ass for not insisting on driving home or to school. And then I remembered parents. I didn't even call Sue about Seth.

I'm going to stop by the daycare on my way to work to talk to her about it, hopefully she wasn't pissed but she hasn't called. But either way, I had to let her know where he was. I don't even know where Embry lives, I know his mom's name but that's it.