I do not own Terminator.

And I can't let go of Michael Biehn yet. He just has too much heart.

No Fate

The Certainty and Uncertainty of Life

So Sarah Conner is pregnant with the Savior of the Human Race.

Whom she will name John.

Not because she necessarily wants to.

Name him John, that is.

I really can't name the Savior of the Human Race after my long lost pet iguana.

'Pugsley' is no name for the Savior of the Human Race.

Plus, Kyle said his name is John.

So, I guess his name is John.

"Okay, kid, mind if Momma has some scrambled eggs?"

Ugh, er, apparently you do mind.

. . . she went along and did her best.

Her best being . . .

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, everything's just so dirty around here. I just can't get it clean enough."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just really hungry. Can you hand me the Jif please? Oh and the marshmallows. Oh and-"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, growing this baby is making me tired, that's all. The baby book said it's normal."

. . . different from day to day.

And sometimes . . .

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I just, mmm, did anyone ever tell you you're just really sexy all the time?"

"Uhh, no."

. . . really different.

Now that she's pregnant, Kyle absolutely refuses her anymore self-defense lessons.

Or bomb making lessons.

She is allowed to continue practicing disassembling, cleaning, and reassembling the guns.

Taking walks.

"Watch out."

"Kyle, it's okay. I can walk."

"I know. Sorry."

And well, . . .

"What are you sucking on?"

"Paperclips."

"Paperclips?"

"Yeah, they're delicious."

. . . gestating.

"Are they safe? Could you swallow it?"

"Probably. I'll do best not to."

"Oka-"

"This is the only one I could find."

As it were.

And she also begins to become very superstitious.

When she spills or simply uses salt, she throws some over her shoulder.

Kyle, expression mystified as he watches the white granules spray over her shoulder down to the floor, the waste he's probably thinking, they wouldn't have wasted anything in a time when they had nothing-

And Sarah, face reddening, embarrassed smile breaking over her face, tries to explain.

"Good luck. We need all the help we can get."

Shrugging.

"I know it's weird."

Kyle shaking his head, then glancing down at his hands.

"Not so weird. I used to want to look at your picture before going out on a mission. Wouldn't let myself until I got back alive. That was my reward for surviving."

And she tries to tease, even as her heart swells with love all over again for this man.

"I thought you said you memorized every line. Every curve. So you wouldn't really need to look at the picture."

Kyle, grin crossing his own face, eyes flashing up to hers, away, and back again.

"I still wanted to."

And he wins the tease of words between them.

And Sarah Conner . . .

"I love you, Kyle."

"I love you too, Sarah."

. . . accepts the loss easily.

So she's going to be the mother of the Savior of the Human Race.

She's going to teach him everything she knows.

Which she knows, is practically nothing, even at this point.

But she's also got Kyle, her Kyle, this Kyle.

Which may or may not be the future Kyle.

"Kyle?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it possible The War will never come? That all of that will never happen? Is it possible to change the future?"

There is a long moment of silence in which she lays in his in the darkness and watches the shadows play on the wall.

"I don't know. Maybe. John never talked about the possibility of there not being a war."

And she plays with the hair on his chest while she thinks.

"If the war doesn't come, how do you get here, how is there a machine to beat the machines if there aren't machines to be beaten?"

Now the moment of silence is his and it is long and she is the one who caused it.

Finally . . .

"I don't know."

And she bites her lip again, chews it, restlessly works at the hairs on his chest until he covers her hand with his, stilling her movements.

And she speaks.

"Will you just . . . blink out of existence or something? Will I turn around and you just be gone?"

His hand is warm and so she concentrates on that for a while as he concentrates on what she's said.

Finally . . .

"I don't know. I don't think so."

It would be horrible, to turn around to the sound of a clattering spoon into a bowl of chili and an empty seat that once held the man she loved.

"I think it would be more that I never would have been to you. You would have just continued your life before me."

Sarah Conner, college student, waitress, roommate.

Mother to Pugsley.

Take-r of self to her own movies when whatever semi-interested guy she's tentatively been seeing decides he needs to be elsewhere.

Never never knowing the love and passion and tragedy and hope of one Kyle Reese.

The man out of time.

The man who came across time for her.

The man who . . .

"I love you, Kyle."

"I love you too, Sarah."

. . . loves her.

And then she makes love to him, makes love because he is there, he is alive, and she can.

And then when she finally falls asleep afterward, cradled into his side, his warm living body . . .

"Kyle? Kyle? Kyle, where are you?!"

. . . she dreams he is gone anyway.

And when she awakens in the early morning . . .

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm okay."

. . . tears are dried and salty . . .

"You sure?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just hungry. Do we have any eggs left?"

. . . on her face.

Hey, sorry I've been gone so long.

Hope you enjoyed this new chapter.

Thanks to J. Hellscythe (quite pleased to have a vampire reading my stuff), Mauryn (personally, my favorite Sam Loomis is Macolm McDowell because he freaks me out), Teana's lover (right, like, Kyle wants to go back and say, look buddy, we need to talk), and, of course, DinahRay for so kindly reviewing!

Thanks also to DigitalSiN'Saga, Nekobus, AryaStark88, IyiaRose, and willtad for adding your support to this tale!

See you all again (relatively) soon. :)