Chapter 9: The Princess Alliance
Guest Quarters, Bright Moon, Etheria, July 11th, 1998 (Earth Time)
"...so Teal'c is opting for full disclosure," Jack O'Neill summed up his friend's opinion.
"Honesty is the honourable option when treating with friends." Teal'c inclined his head.
"Yeah. But there's also need to know, classified, and white lies," Jack pointed out.
"Hiding that the majority of Earth has issues with magic and same-sex relationships isn't a white lie, Jack," Daniel objected.
"I didn't say it was," Jack retorted. "But we can think of a way to present the truth in a more… manageable fashion."
"'As long as you hide your sexuality, you're fine'?"
Jack narrowed his eyes. Daniel's sarcasm wasn't very helpful. "I thought more about pointing out the progress we've made in that area."
"'In a few decades, gay people will be as accepted as women with regards to equal rights'?" Daniel looked at him over the rims of his glasses.
Jack glanced at Carter. She was carefully staring at the wall and not showing any expression. Which meant she was trying not to laugh; he knew her. He sighed. "I know it's not perfect, but we cannot alienate the nice aliens here. And just telling them everything that's… not perfect on Earth might do it."
"Earth might not be perfect, but it has many good sides," Teal'c said. "I am certain that our new allies will see that."
"Right until some religious nutcase calls for burning them at the stake for witchcraft," Daniel cut in.
"I'm sure that they have their share of nutcases as well," Jack said. "They should understand that we're not all perfect angels. We stress that we're making progress, that we've made a lot of progress…"
"Cut down on trying to turn them into democracies?" Daniel asked.
Jack glared at him. "The United States are quite pragmatic when it comes to allies." No one had tried to change Saudi Arabia, Kuwait or any of the other Gulf States into democracies, after all.
"We could tell them how we toppled democracies and replaced elected presidents with dictators," Daniel suggested.
"Daniel." Carter shook her head.
"What's wrong with you?" Jack asked with a frown. This wasn't normal.
Daniel met his stare for a moment, then sighed. "It's just… I don't want to lie to them. They are nice people. Good people. They have offered their help freely and as soon as they met us." He shook his head. "They just… they're all so idealistic."
Jack knew that. And their hosts were all so damned young. Not quite as young as Charlie would be now, but far too young for what they had gone through. And yet… "Yeah, but two of them served in the Evil Horde."
"And switched sides," Daniel retorted.
As did, apparently, the leader of the first Evil Horde. "I'm just saying that they aren't perfect, either," Jack said.
"Then they should understand that we are not perfect," Teal'c said.
Jack sighed. This was above his paygrade. He was an officer, not a politician. But Teal'c was right. Lying wouldn't help them. "So…"
A knock at the door interrupted him. "Yes?"
The door opened, and Catra entered. "Hey." She nodded at them. "The Alliance wants to talk to you. Unless you're busy," she added with a grin.
Too busy to meet what was probably this planet's Security Council? Or NATO command? While being their guests and depending on their goodwill to get home? Jack suppressed a snort. "Let's not make them wait, then."
"So, we're meeting the leaders of the Alliance?" Daniel asked as they left the room.
"Yeah," Catra replied. "All the princesses of the Alliance are present."
"Oh. Is the Alliance limited to princesses, or does it encompass others as well?"
Catra shrugged. "The majority are princesses, but there are others."
"Can they vote?"
Catra snorted. "It's not really a 'democracy'," she said. Then she frowned. "Well, I guess they do kinda vote, but it's… not formal. More like you debate and say what you think, and then there's a decision. And if you really don't like it, you can leave the Alliance, I guess."
Great. Jack frowned. That sounded like a mess just waiting to happen.
"That sounds… How did that work in a war?"
Catra chuckled. "It didn't work very well. Not until She-Ra showed up."
"What did she do?" Daniel asked.
But they had reached a big door, guarded by two soldiers in armour, and Catra grinned again as she opened the door. "Won the war," she said as they stepped inside.
"Welcome, Colonel O'Neill. Captain Carter. Daniel. Teal'c." Glimmer nodded at them. "Please have a seat." She gestured to four seats at the round table. Which did look like a conference table that could've been found in any bigger organisation on Earth.
"Thank you," Jack said. As they walked over to sit down, Glimmer introduced the new faces at the table.
"Princess Mermista, ruler of Salineas. And Sea Hawk."
The woman - in her twenties, a little older than the rest, Jack guessed - nodded at them with a frown.
"Well met, brave soldiers!" The man stood and raised his fist to his chest. He flashed them a wide smile. For a moment, it looked as if his teeth gleamed. Mermista groaned. "Sit down, Sea Hawk," she snapped.
"Of course, my love!"
Jack blinked for a moment.
"Different customs," Daniel whispered.
"And these are Princess Scorpia, of the Scorpion Kingdom, and Princess Perfuma, of Plumeria."
"Hello!"
"Be welcome!"
Whoa. That woman looked like she could wrestle Grizzlies and win. Without breaking a sweat. Or just stab them to death with her stinger. And the other looked like a hippie. There were flowers in her hair. Both were sitting closer to each other than the others. Both looked to be in their twenties.
"Princess Netossa and Spinerella."
"Hi there."
"Hello.
Another pair of adults. Neither of them was close to thirty, though, in Jack's estimation.
"Princess Frosta of the Kingdom of Snows."
Another silent nod. And she was a damn kid. If the girl was fifteen yet, Jack would eat his service cap. And she didn't have anyone sitting with her. Did they really let teenagers make decisions about war and alliances?
"And this is Hordak."
So, that was the former leader of the Evil Horde. Jack looked him over as he sat down. The alien looked like the clones they had seen before. Although he was wearing full armour. Nasty looking armour, too. Not decorative, like the Goa'uld. And he was sitting close to Entrapta.
"We have called you to discuss the situation with Earth and the Goa'uld," Glimmer said. "Our members have a few questions."
Great. Jack smiled. "We'll be happy to answer them," he lied.
Planning Room, Bright Moon, Etheria, July 11th, 1998 (Earth Time)
"...so you have six billion people?" Netossa didn't sound as if she believed it, Adora thought.
O'Neill, though, nodded with the same polite expression he had worn for the last fifteen minutes. "Yes. Though Earth isn't united - the population is split amongst about two hundred countries."
"Unevenly split," Daniel added. "The majority of the population is found in a handful of countries."
"That should facilitate negotiations." Netossa nodded.
"And you represent the most powerful kingdom on Earth?" Mermista leaned forward, her elbows on the table and her hands folded beneath her chin.
"Arguably, yes," O'Neill replied. "The United States of America are the most technologically advanced, richest and have the most powerful military."
"And you've kept the Stargate a secret." Mermista nodded.
"We've already covered that," Glimmer said.
"It's the crucial point," Mermista retorted, "How can we trust them to be open and honest with us if they don't even trust the other kingdoms on their planet? If they don't even trust their own people with the truth?"
"We didn't tell everyone everything either during the war," Adora told her.
"But our people knew at least that we were at war." Mermista didn't quite sneer, but it came close.
"Yes," Frosta spoke up. "And you don't have princesses. Not as rulers. How can we trust that you'll keep an agreement if your leader might get replaced at any time?"
"While our leaders may be replaced after an election, our countries do keep treaties regardless," O'Neill replied. "If you can't trust a country to keep a treaty, no one would deal with them."
"That's exactly the problem!" Frosta blurted out.
O'Neill smiled, but it looked a little forced. "We have a history of treaties being kept."
Daniel coughed a few times, earning himself a glare from O'Neill and Carter. That was unfair. "Do you need a cup of herbal tea? Or a glass of water?" Adora asked. "Or are you sick? I can heal you!" she offered.
"No, no, I'm fine."
Catra snorted, shaking her head.
"The Tau'ri have acted towards me with honour. I trust their word," Teal'c said.
"Yeah, but you were working for the Goa'uld," Mermista replied. "That makes your testimony a little suspect."
Catra winced for a moment, and Adora glared at Mermista. That was uncalled for!
"Why?" Hordak asked. "Your people deserted you once as well. Do you distrust them?"
"That's not the same!" Mermista snapped at him.
"Well…" Entrapta drawled. "It's actually quite similar. From a logical point of view."
"Whatever," Glimmer spoke up. "We are in agreement that we'll fight the Goa'uld and that we'll protect Earth."
"Yes!" Perfuma nodded emphatically. "We cannot let so many people be attacked and conquered - or worse!"
"Yes, but we haven't agreed on how we protect Earth," Mermista protested.
"We can't fight a war by ignoring potential allies," Adora said. "And while we have a fleet, we don't have nearly as many people as Earth has."
"If that's true," Frosta cut in with a frown. "No planet we know of has so many people. They claim to have over a hundred times more people than Etheria!"
"Why would they be lying? We would find out the truth as soon as we reach Earth," Bow pointed out.
"Exactly," Adora told him with a smile.
"I still have reservations. We can't form an alliance unless we know that we can trust them." Mermista looked a little mulish.
"We'll know that once we talk to their leaders," Glimmer said. "That's why we're sending a delegation."
"And because SG-1 can't agree to an alliance anyway," Catra added.
"We won't make an alliance until we're sure that we can trust the Tau'ri. You can trust us on that," Adora said, looking at everyone.
"Really, why are you being so difficult?" Perfuma asked, looking at Mermista and Frosta. "These people need our help!"
"Because if they betray us, they'll outnumber us a hundred to one," Netossa said. "That's kind of a worry."
"They don't have a fleet, though," Scorpia said.
"So they claim," Frosta repeated herself.
"We don't have a fleet. Believe me, we wish we had one," O'Neill said. "We don't like being so vulnerable."
"But you have advanced technology," Hordak pointed out. "If you mobilise your entire population, you should be able to rapidly produce ships and train crews. In fact, since you haven't done this despite it being obvious, did you check if your leaders have been compromised?"
Adora blinked - that was a good question. She looked at their guests.
O'Neill winced. "Revealing that we are at war with aliens was deemed to be too dangerous. The people would riot, panic, countries would distrust us…" He shrugged. "So far, we've done well enough by ourselves."
"And do you share this view?" Catra asked. "You said you were looking for allies."
"In our country, the military is under the command of the civilian leadership," O'Neill replied, rather stiffly in Adora's opinion. "It is not my place to question their decisions.
Catra smirked. "So you do think it's stupid!"
O'Neill didn't answer. But Carter didn't show any expression, and Daniel hid a grin behind his hand, Catra was probably correct. Adora at least thought so.
"Great. We're gonna have to deal with stupid rulers," Mermista groaned.
"But at least they can be easily replaced by better leaders?" Perfuma smiled hopefully.
Judging by the way the entire SG-1 - with the obvious exception of Teal'c - winced at that. Adora was sure that this wasn't going to work as Perfuma thought it would work.
At least it seemed Mermista had stopped being difficult.
Samantha Carter pressed her lips together and forced herself to return to a carefully neutral expression. "That is not as easy as you think," she said. "We have regular elections and set terms for our rulers. They cannot be removed easily." Not democratically, at least, but she didn't think that the princess was talking about coups and assassinations.
"I thought that you could easily replace a bad leader was part of why you have such a system," Glimmer said.
"Some democracies can quickly change their leadership if a majority of the members of parliament agree," Daniel said. "Not in our country, though."
"Would be a bloody mess if that worked," the Colonel added.
"It works for the United Kingdom," Daniel retorted. "And for Germany, to name two examples."
"But not for your most powerful kingdom - country," Adora said, shaking her head. "Well, at least some bad rulers might be replaced then. That should help." She sounded as if she was trying to convince herself, in Sam's opinion.
"But forming an alliance is only logical," Entrapta spoke up. "Why would anyone be against that? Especially with most of your planet defenceless against the Goa'uld?"
Sam grimaced. As did the Colonel.
"If they don't trust us, for example," Mermista said. "They might think we're as bad or worse than the Goa'uld. Or that the Goa'uld don't exist, and it's a ploy to force them into a treaty."
"If the Third Fleet is in orbit above your homeworld, then the lack of orbital bombardment should be proof that they do not intend to conquer you," the former Horde leader said. "With such an overwhelming advantage, what would be gained by deceit?"
"Yeah… No. Things aren't that simple," the Colonel replied. "Overwhelming force isn't always the best way to achieve your goals. And I am saying that as an Air Force colonel, mind you."
Sam chuckled at the joke, Daniel sighed, but the others either looked confused or didn't react at all in Teal'c's case.
"You make it sound as if half your planet is crazy," Frosta blurted out. That the Etherians let a child - she was barely fifteen, in Sam's estimation - sit at the table and treated her as a sovereign ruler equal to the others said a lot about the planet's culture. They were all so young. Sam could imagine how that would look to most politicians on Earth. Young people, especially young women… She knew how they were seen and treated.
"Well, we can sometimes give that impression," the Colonel joked. "But no, it's just… Very few people actually believe that aliens are real. Or magic. They will have a hard time accepting that we're at war with snakes and allied with magical princesses."
"That shouldn't be a problem," Adora said with a firm expression. "We can demonstrate that both are real."
"And surely your word will help as well?" Perfuma asked. "Your country's ruler is aware of the truth, isn't he?"
"Yes."
"And as the ruler of Earth's most powerful country, people will listen to him, right?"
"Some will, yes," the Colonel replied.
But they wouldn't be happy about having been kept in the dark about the Stargate program. Especially the United Kingdom, since the Stargate was found in Egypt at the time when it was under British control.
"That's a start." Perfuma smiled. "We just have to convince the rest, then."
Sam suppressed a wince. The princess sounded so earnest - and so naive, for someone who lived through and, presumably, fought in a war for years. Not naive, she corrected herself - ignorant. They didn't know anything about Earth. They lacked the experience and cultural awareness to understand the problems their arrival on Earth would cause.
They had to rectify this, or this would end in a disaster. She glanced at the Colonel; he was in command. "Sir!" she spoke up.
"Yes, Carter?" He cocked his head.
"I think we should brief our hosts extensively about the political and cultural situation on Earth."
"Yes, Jack!" Daniel chimed in, as she had known he would.
The Colonel narrowed his eyes at them both, and Sam had to suppress another wince. Telling him in public… that wasn't done. But they were in an extraordinary situation. So she met his eyes, and, after a moment, he sighed. "Well, we probably should at least explain in detail how the United States' political system works."
Daniel perked up. "I can do that, Jack!"
"An objective, neutral briefing, Daniel," the Colonel stressed.
Sam knew what he meant: A positive portrayal.
Daniel looked mulish. "I am objective."
"Remember that our hosts aren't familiar with democracy," Sam reminded him. "They don't know that it works."
"Right." Daniel sighed. "I almost forgot about the cultural preconceptions."
They were talking in low voices, but Catra was grinning at them - she probably could hear them, Sam knew. Well, this might serve to build some trust - in a convoluted way.
"So." Daniel stood. "Democracy. It's a very old concept on Earth, over two thousand five hundred years old, but its form has changed a lot over the years. In Ancient Greece, it meant that every citizen of a town or country had one vote to determine the course of the polity, so..."
Sam refrained from sighing. Of course Daniel would start at the very beginning!
"...and that's roughly how checks and balances work."
Catra rolled her eyes with a loud sigh. Daniel really didn't know how to stop talking. She wasn't sure if he was worse when he was asking questions or when he was lecturing.
"Catra!" Adora hissed under her breath.
"What?" Catra whispered back. "This is worse than cadet instructions."
"Which were very useful!" Adora objected. Ever the model cadet. Even when she was very little, she had been so damn serious.
Catra grinned at the memory of Adora as a young cadet, then sighed. "Yes, yes. Eventually."
"Eventually? This is an in-depth briefing of the government of Earth's most powerful kingdom!"
"It's also very long," Catra retorted.
"Uh… do you have any questions?" Daniel asked, looking at them with an almost shy smile. "Was something not clear? I might have rambled a little, I think."
A little? But Catra shook her head. "So, your government is based upon different factions struggling for power while keeping each other in check."
"Ah, well, you could say that, yes." Daniel nodded. "Although it's really not…"
"Like the Horde then, but the leader can't just have those who make too much trouble executed," Catra went on. She pressed her lips together for a moment, remembering her banishing Entrapta. Not her finest hour.
"Catra!" Adora blurted out.
"What? It's like putting the Force Captains against each other so they won't unite and topple the leader," Catra explained. "Only, there's no overall commander who is above everyone else."
"That wasn't covered in Force Captain Orientation!" Scorpia protested. "I've never heard of that!"
Everyone looked at her. Catra sighed and put the palm of her hand on her face. Sometimes, she wondered how Scorpia had survived to make Force Captain in the Horde before Catra had taken over.
"Uh… It was called the Evil Horde for a reason, dear," Perfuma said.
"We never called us that!"
"Everyone else did," Glimmer cut in while Hordak and Entrapta were whispering about 'official policy'. "Anyway, you have to balance different factions, one of which gets replaced every four or eight years, the other two lasting until death or retirement?"
"It's not quite like that but, essentially, yes."
"It's really better than it sounds," O'Neill added. "It has worked for hundreds of years for us."
"A bit more than two hundred years at most, Jack."
"That's what I said."
"But…"
"Two hundred years isn't very impressive," Frosta said. "My family has ruled the Kingdom of Snows for four times longer."
And Queen Angella had ruled for almost a thousand years. But Catra wouldn't mention that.
"Few monarchies on Earth were as stable," Carter said. "And most of those are actually democracies."
"Yes. With a figurehead." Frosta pouted at her.
"Anyway," Catra spoke up, "you have rules and traditions against anyone simply taking over, so that's not an option."
"Not for the United States," Daniel said. "A number of other countries have suffered changes of power by force. Often repeatedly."
"It didn't serve them well," Jack added. "So, that's the United States of America. Warts and all. It's not perfect, but it works well enough, and we're always trying to become better."
"I still fail to see why supporting your president to take control of the other factions and uniting the country is not an option," Hordak said. "That's how I started the Horde."
"Which we beat," Mermista snapped.
"Horde Prime arrived," Hordak shot back.
Catra bit her lower lip. The Horde hadn't really been beaten, despite her own… problems. They had actually been doing quite well.
"If they say it's not an option, then we have to respect that," Perfuma said. "We cannot force our own views on others."
"Right." O'Neill nodded. "No couping and no forcing regime changes. Good." He looked… not as happy as Catra would have expected. Had he planned on taking over his own country with the help of Etheria? She frowned, then shook her head. No, that didn't seem like him. It had to be something else.
"But can we actually deal with such a kingdom?" Spinnerella asked. "We would have to deal with every faction."
"Actually, foreign policies fall under the President's power. Though treaties need to be ratified by Congress," Daniel explained.
"So, we deal with the President, and then the rest of your government checks if the deal is good enough?" Mermista asked.
"Pretty much, yes."
"Great. How many countries does your planet have again?"
"Almost two hundred," Daniel told her.
"But most of them are too small to be very important," O'Neill pointed out.
"And there's the United Nations," Daniel went on. "Almost every country is a member of that organisation."
"You have a united government for your planet?" Adora asked. "Why didn't you mention that before?"
"It's not quite a government," O'Neill said.
"It was supposed to be a sort of global not-quite-government," Daniel explained. "But the way it was formed, well… It has its share of problems."
"More checks and balances?" Glimmer asked with a sigh.
"And bureaucracies," O'Neill added.
"Great." Glimmer shook her head.
"Are you really sure that having your leader take over isn't an option?" Entrapta asked. "One single leader would clearly make things more efficient."
Every one of their guests except Teal'c winced at that, Catra noted. They really had some deep issues with princesses. Or Horde leaders.
Guest Quarters, Bright Moon, Etheria, July 11th, 1998 (Earth Time)
"Well, this is a nice mess!" Jack O'Neill sighed as he sat down on the still too soft bed in their quarters. "Did you have to give our monarchist hosts ideas about couping and conquering Earth?" He looked at Daniel.
"I'm sure that Entrapta didn't mean it. The conquering Earth part," his friend replied.
"They were quite clear earlier that they didn't want to support a hypothetical conquest of Earth by your army, O'Neill," Teal'c said.
"The others were. I'm not sure Miss Mad Scientist got the message," Jack retorted. "She's buddy-buddy with the Evil Leader who tried to conquer Etheria. And she was part of his Horde." And he was sure that Hordak hadn't learned his lesson, whatever it was supposed to be.
"Adora is in a relationship with a former Horde leader as well. And another former Horde leader is a member of the Alliance," Daniel pointed out.
"And all of them wished that the president weren't held in check by Congress and the Supreme Court," Jack told him.
"To be fair, I think every American has wished the same at least once in their lives," Daniel said. "But more importantly, I am sure she didn't intend a coup. She thought about democratic changes in our government structures. Probably."
"Probably." Jack snorted. At least Daniel was honest. Sometimes too honest. On the other hand, their hosts seemed to trust him a lot, so that evened out. He glanced at Carter. She was uncharacteristically silent. Well, her little 'suggestion' had been a surprise. It had worked out somewhat, but Jack didn't like how she had done it. And she knew he didn't like it. "Carter. Your assessment." It had been her plan, so she had to at least comment on it.
"Sir." She briefly winced, then nodded. "I think we've built trust with our hosts. They are aware of the problems their arrival will cause and of the difficulties we are facing when building an alliance. If we hadn't informed them of this in advance, it would have damaged our prospects in the long run."
"No one trusts a liar," Daniel added. "And they need to be warned of... well, of how Earth is."
"You don't need to try and scare them off Earth, though," Jack told him.
"I didn't. I was fair and balanced in presenting our good and bad sides. And I didn't even mention the bigotry and racism yet," Daniel said with a frown.
Right. The other elephant in the room. Invisible elephant for now.
"Something else we can't put off until we reach Earth, Sir," Carter said.
"And something that is anathema to Etheria, as far as I can tell," Daniel added. "In my talks with them, it never came up. They might not even have a concept of hating someone just for being different."
Jack snorted. "That's human nature. You've seen how hostile some of them were. The kid and the Sea Princess are carrying grudges."
"But those are related to the war. I never heard of any view that would be the equal to racism on Earth."
"You didn't notice how they view former Horde soldiers?" Jack asked. "They don't trust either the clones or the other former Horde members."
"But that's not the same as hating someone just because they're gay. Or black," Daniel said.
"Or looking down on women." Carter didn't frown, but she would have if they were civilians. Jack was sure of that.
He sighed. "I know. But we can't just tell them all the bad stuff about us. That would give the wrong impression."
"I am sure that they will understand that Tau'ri society is not perfect but striving to improve," Teal'c said. "They do value redemption."
Of course Teal'c would catch that.
"They want to save the Goa'uld. Or change them," Daniel pointed out. "That's…"
"...terribly naive," Jack said.
Daniel frowned at him. "I would call it idealistic, Jack."
"Idealists are the worst," Jack muttered.
"They seem to be genuine," Teal'c said. "And their ideals are honourable."
Had they gotten to Teal'c already? He hadn't been raised in a democracy. He might not realise how dangerous and prone to corruption monarchies were no matter who started them. "Yeah, yeah. And how will they react when they find out how not-idealistic politics are on Earth?"
"That's why we briefed them, Sir. So they can mentally prepare."
Which would also prepare them better for the negotiations. The State Department wouldn't be happy if they ever realised that. "Well, they still want to take us home. And they still want to protect Earth and form an alliance," he said. "So, it worked out. For now."
Daniel smiled. And Teal'c nodded slowly. At least Carter didn't smile.
Jack narrowed his eyes and stared at Daniel and Carter. "But no more such stunts. We'll carefully plan how to tell them about the other problems they'll face on Earth. Understood?" He wouldn't tolerate more such surprises.
"Yes, Sir."
"Yes, Jack."
Teal'c nodded silently.
"Then let's get ready for the banquet." Jack nodded. "Carter, you have the bathroom first."
"Sir."
"And no sneaking off to raid the royal archives, Daniel. Behave."
"Jack!"
"Don't tell me that you haven't thought about it." Jack grinned.
"I would never break their trust like that!"
Unless Daniel thought it was necessary. Jack's friend was an academic and a civilian, but he could be very pragmatic. Like everyone on Jack's team.
Royal Hall, Bright Moon, Etheria, July 11th, 1998 (Earth Time)
Compared to other feasts, this one was not much to write home about. The food was great - Adora took another serving from the roast beef - but everyone was acting subdued or annoyed.
"...and then we compensated for the stellar drift, and the remaining star systems in the data banks we copied from Alpha were quickly sorted out thanks to a spectral analysis of your sun. As we expected, Earth was amongst them! Isn't that fascinating? That our planets were linked so long ago, we don't have records of it? But now we do!"
Well, almost everyone was acting subdued. Entrapta was enthusiastically explaining to the others how they had found Earth's coordinates, with Carter and Bow nodding along.
"Indeed." Hordak sounded… not bored, but not as enthusiastic either. "How long will it take Third Fleet to reach the planet?"
"About a month at cruise speed," Entrapta replied. "We could do it faster at flank speed, but that would put a lot of strain on the engines, and while Darla could handle it - with some additional maintenance - the Horde frigates would need yard time afterwards. If they even make it that far."
Adora winced. 'Some additional maintenance' probably meant Entrapta and Bow working frantically to fix the ship and keep it from falling apart. Just like when they had set out to save Glimmer from Horde Prime. And Catra.
"Well, it would be faster if we just headed to a planet with a Stargate and took the quick route back," O'Neill said.
"If we find a Stargate that's not guarded," Catra retorted. "If the Goa'uld find out about us, that will cost us the strategic surprise."
Adora nodded. "The longer they don't know about us, the better."
"You cannot count on the Goa'uld being ignorant of your existence," Teal'c spoke up. "They knew about the Horde, or at least about the threat it formed - this sector was prohibited for the System Lords under Ra for a reason."
"Because they feared Horde Prime," Glimmer agreed.
"Or they merely didn't want to risk a prolonged war against a peer-level opponent," Daniel suggested.
"The snakes don't do live and let live," O'Neill retorted. "That's not their style. They want to rule the galaxy."
"Or at least the Tau'ri," Teal'c added.
"Yeah."
"Well, we won't let them," Adora told them. Letting such monsters who enslaved entire planets be? Not if she had something to say about it! And she did.
"Still, giving Earth some advance warning would be a good idea," O'Neill went on. "So they can prepare for the fleet's arrival. If we take one of the shuttles with us, we could head down to a planet and use the Stargate without alerting the Goa'uld."
"Unless they spot you," Catra told him. "The shuttles are a thousand years old. They aren't exactly stealthy."
"The Goa'uld technology is mostly stolen from other species and hasn't progressed very much in the last millennia," Carter pointed out.
"It's still a risk," Glimmer said.
"We could use the frigate's transporters!" Entrapta suggested. "If we can make orbit without being detected. Which might be kinda hard if the Goa'uld have a decent patrol system."
"Many System Lords will be expecting attacks by their rivals," Teal'c agreed, "and be prepared accordingly."
"We've beaten worse odds," O'Neill said.
"And you've ended up stranded here," Catra countered.
"The odds of that happening again aren't very high," O'Neill said. "It would be worth the risk."
"We can check a few planets on the way," Glimmer said. "But only after careful planning. We have to remain undetected."
"Fair enough." O'Neill shrugged.
"And if you find an unguarded Stargate, who would travel to Earth?" Mermista asked. "All of you? Anyone from us?"
Adora opened her mouth to say that she would be heading through, but Catra grabbed her thigh and pricked her skin with her claws. "Ow!" she complained, glaring at her lover.
"Third Fleet," Catra hissed.
Oh. Right. Priest and the others wouldn't take kindly to that. They probably would insist on sending a guard with them. Half an army.
"Whoever you want to send along," O'Neill said. "That's your decision."
"Or none," Glimmer shook her head. "We wouldn't want to split our party."
For some reason, O'Neill seemed amused at that.
"And it reduces the temptation for some of Earth's leaders to take our people hostage," Netossa added. "If they hear about a fleet coming, some might panic."
"We wouldn't let that happen," Daniel protested. "And it would go against every treaty regarding diplomatic immunity."
"Still, it would be best to arrive as a unified party," Glimmer said.
"Or not find a Stargate at all," Catra whispered under her breath low enough so only Adora could hear her.
Well, that was out of their hands, wasn't it? Oh. Catra meant lying about not finding a Stargate. "I doubt we can fool them," Adora whispered.
"Well, not if you try to lie to them." Catra snickered.
Adora pouted at her lover. But, speaking of lies. She cleared her throat. "Also, in the interest of fostering trust, I have to reveal something we've been keeping from you until now." She stood.
The whole group immediately stared at her. And O'Neill tensed up - she could see him stop slouching in his seat. Glimmer was frowning at her, but this had to be done.
"This is my form when I am She-Ra," she went on. Taking a deep breath, she changed back. "And this is what I really look like."
SG-1 seemed shocked for a moment.
"A magical transformation!" O'Neill shook his head. "Now, you just need a theme song."
What?
Samantha Carter stared. Such a transformation! Adora had lost more than a foot in height and much more in mass. And her long mane of golden hair had been changed to a more normal dirty blonde ponytail. How was that possible? Magic, of course. With the power Adora had demonstrated, changing the body wouldn't be too much of a feat. Still…
"Theme song?" Adora blinked. "What do you mean?"
Oh! Carter narrowed her eyes at the Colonel. He had to go there.
"Oh, just a thing that's popular in some TV shows. A theme song," he said with a grin.
"That's a popular media on Earth. Moving pictures that tell a story," Daniel cut in. "Some of them portray magical princesses who transform to fight monsters. Not unlike yourself."
Right. Sailor Moon. Cassie loved those cartoons. Sam had had to watch them often enough when visiting the girl. Apparently, so had the Colonel.
"Although they usually do not grow in size as much as you do," Teal'c added. "Though the transformation of their clothes seems similar."
And obviously, so had Teal'c. Sam suppressed a giggle - the thought of the Colonel and Teal'c having to watch a show aimed at young girls…
"Your magical companion seems to be larger than the norm as well," Teal'c went on, nodding at Melog.
The Etherians still looked confused. Sam looked at Daniel. This was his task. If Sam had to explain Sailor Moon to aliens, the Colonel would never let her forget it.
"So, there are cartoons - animated pictures. Drawings," Daniel began. "They are quite popular with children. And some adults," he added with a glance at the Colonel.
"Hey! The Simpsons are quality entertainment for adults!"
"The Simpsons?" Catra asked with a grin.
"Jack's favourite cartoon," Daniel told her. "Anyway, amongst those cartoons, there's a genre that has magical princesses, and they are usually depicted…"
"...which is why you reminded us of that show," Daniel finished his second lecture in a day.
"Fascinating! You use holograms for entertainment!"
"Ah… no," he said.
"It's a different technology," Samantha Carter told Entrapta. "It's not a hologram, but it uses a screen."
"Ah. Still a great idea!" Entrapta nodded eagerly.
"Oh!" Princess Mermista's consort, Seahawk, beamed at them. "Imagine a show depicting my many adventures!"
Judging by the expressions on everyone's faces, even Mermista's, they didn't like imagining that.
"Yeah, no," Glimmer said.
"We can check out those 'TV shows' on Earth!" Entrapta smiled. "And we can work out how to adapt them to our planet!"
"There are also movies. Cinema," the Colonel said with a smile. "You'll love them."
"You need to watch Star Wars," Teal'c said. "I have watched it thirteen times, and it remains as impressive and moving as it was the first time."
"Star Wars?" Adora asked, at the same time that Daniel blurted out: "Thirteen times?"
Which started another round of explanations.
"So, this Darth Vader was the right hand of the evil Emperor. And he was hurt, so he had to wear a suit of armour that kept him alive. And in the end, he threw the Emperor down a reactor shaft." Entrapta nodded as she summed up Teal'c's explanation. "He's like Hordak!"
What? Samantha Carter stared at the clone.
"I am no longer dependent on my armour for survival," Hordak objected.
"But you were! And you threw Horde Prime down a shaft!"
"And you led an evil Horde," Mermista remarked, shaking her head.
"We must watch Star Wars when we reach Earth! And in a theatre, so we can have the proper experience, as you explained!" the princess declared.
The Colonel had the grace to blush when Sam looked at him. This was all his fault. At least hiring a movie theatre for a screening of the trilogy would be an easy feat for the State Department. Sam hoped she would be able to watch when the Colonel had to explain the request.
But that was a thing for the future. They had more important things to worry about. She cleared her head. "So, we know the route to Earth."
"Yeah," the Colonel cut in, as she had known she would. "So, when are you planning to leave?"
"In a few days, once we have the fleet provisioned and ready to move," Glimmer replied. "That will leave us enough time to look through our archives as well."
"And enough time to modify the First Ones shuttles!" Entrapta added.
A few more days on Etheria. And then a month in space to reach Earth. Probably.
Sam really hoped they would find a Stargate on the way. Stargate Command needed advance warning of their arrival, or things would turn a little problematic. The General wouldn't be pleased in any case. Well, he certainly would be happy to know they survived, but dropping a fleet led by magical princesses in his lap?
His reaction to that wouldn't be pretty. Sam felt a little guilty that she was glad the Colonel would have to shoulder most of the blame for that. Just a little, though.
And the reaction of the government… She had half a mind to ask Entrapta if she needed another 'science buddy'. On the other hand, part of her couldn't wait to see how all the sexist politicians and generals she had met would react to the Etherians.