Chapter 26: The Naquadah Crisis Part 6
Reserva de la Biosfera de Río Plátano, Honduras, August 19th, 1998 (Earth Time)
"Are they going to fight?" Adora asked in a low voice, looking at Jack and Burke in the corner across the hold. They had been staring at each other ever since they had met today. A lot of tension, but she couldn't quite place what kind of tension.
"Ah, they seem to be making up," Catra whispered next to her.
"Oh?" Adora turned to look at her lover. "So, they were…?"
Catra tilted her head to the side. "I don't think so. Just friends who had a falling out over a dumb secret or something."
"Ah." Adora envied Catra's ears at times. She had had no clue - well, some clues, but nothing that would help - about this whole thing. "So, they're good now?"
"Dunno." Catra shrugged. "Hard to tell."
Adora scoffed. Well, if they hadn't made up, that was their problem. Emily was almost at the ship. She cleared her throat. "We need to catch the… suspect now." She pressed her lips together - she should have thought of a good name for their target before speaking.
"Let's just call him zombie guy," Jack said, grinning.
"We're not calling him 'zombie guy'," Glimmer said with a glare at him.
"What about 'specimen number one'?" Entrapta asked - honestly; Adora could tell.
"Are you really arguing about what to call a walking dead?" Burke asked - the man was, again, looking shocked.
"Yes?" Jack looked at him as if he couldn't understand why Burke would ask that. But that was an act. At least Adora was pretty sure it was an act. "The correct nomenclature is very important in our line of work."
Yes, definitely an act. Adora shook her head.
"Jack!" Daniel protested.
"What? Don't you always insist on using the correct terminology?"
"Emily is almost back with us," Hordak cut in. "We should focus on dealing with the threat instead of on what to call it."
"Yes." Adora nodded firmly. "And since we're not in the range of the healing energy - which isn't spreading any more, right?" she added with a glance at Entrapta and Sam.
"It has disappeared," Sam confirmed.
"Right. So, I can go and just grab the man," she said. "If he can't hurt Emily, he can't hurt me."
"Unless it's some infectious disease," Entrapta said.
"What?"
"Well, we haven't detected any pathogen or viruses," her friend explained, "but that's one possible cause for such behaviour - at least according to Earth myth."
"That's Hollywood," Daniel said. "I wouldn't assume that there's any base in reality for that."
"There are parasites that can change human behaviour," Sam added. "But we haven't detected anything - simply magical radiation. Healing magic."
And Adora was all about healing magic. Amongst other things. "Either way, I'm the best choice for this."
She looked at Catra, who sighed and nodded. "I guess so - if there are no germs."
"There shouldn't be."
"Biological warfare…" The Honduran officer shook his head. Adora had almost forgotten that they had guests around.
"Nothing we can't handle," Jack said with a wide smile.
Adora nodded. She could heal entire countries, after all. Granted, that had been a special occasion, but she was She-Ra. She could do this. "I'm going to fetch the man. And hold him outside while you deal with the device."
"We'll prepare the containment unit!" Entrapta said. "And the containment unit for the affected human!"
Adora nodded and headed to the airlock.
Catra followed her. And Melog followed them.
Adora looked at her lover.
"I'm not going to join you," Catra told her with a wry grin. "But I'll be waiting here."
"Ah." She nodded at Catra, then bent forward and placed a quick kiss on her lover's head. "I'll be right back."
"I'll hold you that, dummy." Behind her, Melog glowed.
Adora stepped outside, jumping off the ramp. Emily was approaching - and the man was still trying to stop her - even though all he was doing was hugging one of her legs now. It was almost too easy - she grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and pulled him away, ignoring his flailing. "All done, Emily."
Emily beeped in return and entered the ship.
Adora took a closer look at her captive - and grimaced at the sight. The piece of wood had gone through his entire throat. Jack had been correct - there was no way he could breathe like this. And his eyes were white. Not glowing, not like when someone was possessed, but… not natural, either.
What kind of healing magic could do this? And could she do such a thing by accident as well?
That was a disturbing thought. Very disturbing. She didn't remember any such incident - but would she have noticed if she had done this to some animals when she healed the Fright Zone?
"We've secured the device," Catra yelled from the ramp. "Melog doesn't sense anything, either. You can bring the zombie inside."
Adora didn't protest the name as she carried the man - or former man - inside and dropped him in an airtight cell Entrapta and Sam had prepared.
"Oh. The cells are all alive, but the brain is not working at all. The brain cells are working individually, but there's no trace of a neural network. It's like a colony of single-cell organisms all working in concert without a discernable biological directive. This is so fascinating." Entrapta all but cooed, Samantha Carter saw. Then the princess blinked. "I mean, it's horrible that this happened to a person, but the result is fascinating. In a horrible way." Entrapta's smile looked more than a little forced.
But Sam could understand the feeling. Did understand it - this 'zombie' was, from a strictly scientific point of view, fascinating indeed. And horrible. "So, they must be controlled by magic - the human organism couldn't, without a working nervous system, move at all, much less in the way we've observed."
"Exactly! Our sensors show a magic field around the body, focused on damaged cells. See how the field is stronger at the wrists and ankles? It must be repairing the damage done to the body by the attempts to break free."
Sam nodded - she could see that the man - or, now confirmed, corpse - in the cell in front of them was struggling against the thick metal bands that held him, baring his teeth but not making any discernible sounds. Just like a zombie in those cheap horror movies she had watched in college. "So… can we save him?"
"Restore higher brain functions? Or any brain functions at all?" Entrapta cocked her head as her hair moved over the console, pushing buttons.
The things she could do with such hair… Sam suppressed a brief, weird bout of envy. "Yes." That would be… Well, the Colonel would probably call it resurrection. Or 'de-zombification or something similarly silly.
Entrapta shook her head with a sigh. "I don't think so. I doubt we can restore the network that, well, made him him. I doubt that we could even restore the basic brain functions that keep the body alive and breathing - the magic healing must have completely disrupted it."
"Well, that can be relearned," Hordak said. "Or we could attempt to copy an existing lower-level network pattern onto a clean brain."
Sam's eyes widened at the proposal. "What? You want to copy a person's mind?"
Hordak frowned at her. "Of course not - we don't have the technology or magic to achieve such a feat. But we might be able to copy a less complex pattern well enough to speed a relearning process along."
"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea. In fact, I think that's a very bad idea," Bow cut in.
"Yeah," Entrapta agreed. "Even if we manage to copy a pattern well enough to imprint on a brain, the new brain cells will be trying to copy actions from another body. That won't work on that level, much less a higher one."
"True," Hordak agreed with a frown. "I forgot that this wouldn't be a basic clone pattern."
"Oh." Bow looked at Entrapta with a grimace, Sam noticed. And Entrpata nodded with a… sad expression?
Ah. That must be how Horde Prime's clones had been… programmed was the word, even though, or especially, since it was dehumanising. Sam cleared her throat. "So, we could only create a new person in an old body."
"More or less. Like a baby. Just with a larger body," Entrapta nodded.
"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to become a father right now," Bow said with a weak grin. "So… I don't think we should create a new life here."
Sam winced at the implications.
"Right!" Entrapta nodded again. "If we do make a baby, it won't be in the middle of an experiment."
"Yes," Hordak agreed.
Sam glanced at Bow. He looked as disturbed about this exchange as she felt. But they had a task to do. "So… this healing energy disrupted the neural network in people's brains - presumably in other creatures as well?"
"I think so… some of the more primitive creatures might not be affected, and some at the outskirts of the field might not have suffered complete disruption, but those in close vicinity…" She shook her head. "Probably gone."
"So, we have a zombie area in the jungle," Bow said. "Why would anyone do this?"
"I think a lower-powered application would restore a body without wiping the neural networks controlling it," Hordak said. "The network would still suffer some degeneration, but it would, properly controlled, not be significant unless someone was repeatedly exposed to such magic."
"Does that mean that magical healing damages your brain?" Sam asked.
"This form of magical healing does," Entrapta replied.
"People have been healed repeatedly during the war without suffering such effects," Bow pointed out. "And I don't recall any lecture about such a risk. It must be unique to this device."
That was a relief. And yet… "We still have an unknown number of such affected people and animals to deal with," she said.
The others nodded.
"We might consider using a bomb, as was suggested by the representative of the local population," Hordak.
"I don't think we should nuke part of Honduras," Sam retorted.
They had to find a better way to deal with this… zombie infestation.
"Well, we could just wait until the magic effect fades - it takes a lot of energy to keep all the individual cells not only alive, but working together, and without the device to provide the energy, it'll shut down sooner or later - I guess we can calculate a rate of decay if we get more data," Entrapta said.
That was a better solution - provided that this 'sooner or later' was sooner rather than later. Sam doubted that the Hondurans wanted to cordon off the entire area for a decade or two. But she needed more than a theory to suggest a course of action to the Colonel. "Let's check."
"Yes!" Entrapta whirled and started using her instruments again. Sam stepped up to the console and added some calibrations.
"...and our conclusion is, although based on only one set of data and extrapolated, accounting for the lack of a natural magic field and the interaction between the magic and the internal chemical energy reserves of the cells, that the affected organisms should stop being able to move in about two days to a week. It depends on how much energy they use to move, so more primitive organisms could function for a longer time while people and similar creatures wouldn't last too long," Entrapta explained.
Catra blinked. "So, we just have to wait, and the problem solves itself?" That was convenient!
"Yes," Entrapta replied, nodding.
"Although we cannot completely exclude the possibility that the affected organisms might display unexpected characteristics in the meantime," Carter added. "They might mutate with all the magic energy affecting every cell."
"Mutant zombie mice?" O'Neill asked, shaking his head. "If we tell Hammond that there's a danger of that, we'll get sent to a shrink."
"I think General Hammond will not dismiss the possibility of such a threat after studying our other reports," Teal'c commented.
"Yeah, I was trying to make light of the fact that we have a bunch of effectively dead people walking around without a chance of curing them." O'Neill sighed. "So much for magic healing."
Catra saw Adora flinch and clenched her teeth. How dare he! "That wasn't the fault of healing magic!" she snapped. "That was the fault of an idiot creating a dangerous artefact and another idiot turning it on! Don't blame magic healing for this!"
O'Neill turned to frown at her. "Hey! I'm the one who was healed by magic here - I've got a right to be concerned."
She hissed. "I was brought back from death by Adora's magic! You just got healed!"
He recoiled a little, then dug in his heels. "Then you should be concerned as well!"
"No, neither of you should be concerned," Entrapta cut in. "If Adora's healing had such side effects, we would have noticed them long ago - she did restore the Fright Zone, after all, and healed the forest in Plumeria. If there was anything wrong, Perfuma would have noticed."
"Yes, I think we would have noticed zombie animals wandering around," Glimmer said. "Also, I'm a trained sorceress." She raised her hand. "Mystacore's best sorcerers tested for negative effects of 'overhealing' long ago and found nothing with the standard healing spells."
"Well, something went wrong here," Daniel pointed out. "So, there is a danger even if you didn't encounter it before. Adora's healing is safe, but what if anyone else tries to invent a new way of magic healing?"
Catra heard O'Neill mutter something about unsafe magic and clenched her teeth again. Working with this kind of attitude was so frustrating! "We know what we are doing," she said, flashing her fangs.
"But you want to restore magic to the world," O'Neill shot back. "That means a lot of people who don't know what they are doing will dabble with magic. Who's to say that they won't create a real zombie plague?"
Daniel, to Catra's surprise, nodded. "I have to agree. It seems that this was a localised effect dependent on a single item. But what if it could tap into a natural magic field to power itself?" He grimaced. "Like a magical zombie plague?"
"Zombie apocalypse," O'Neill added.
Glimmer shook her head. "That's not how it works. You don't realise just how difficult it is to create such devices as the one here. You can't just 'dabble' and create that by accident. And the idea that you could create a spell that does this…" She scoffed. "You might as well bang together a pair of rocks and hope to get a nuclear bomb out of it."
"Oh, yes!" Entrapta chimed in. "The thaumaturgic equations used here are incredibly ahead of anything else I've seen. This can serve as inspiration for so much research! Those Ancients were such geniuses!"
Catra had to wince at that. "But let's do any such research in space." Where they could blow up a lab if something got out of control. Melog agreed, she could feel them.
"Right. We really need a lab ship for research." Entrapta nodded.
"That sounds like a good idea," Daniel said. "But even if the risk is minimal, should you really unlock magic on Earth?"
Glimmer frowned at him. "Why not? It certainly didn't prevent this device from being created. Magic being returned to Earth just means that sorcery becomes possible."
"But this device was created when magic was available," Daniel retorted.
Carter cleared her throat. "We've been working with magic since we arrived on Earth. Our scanner works with magic but is powered by advanced technology. That's also how the containment fields work." She looked at O'Neill, Catra noticed, as she went on: "We're using magic. We're doing magic research."
"And you can bet that your government is already working out how to do magic research as well," Glimmer added.
"But we'll do it in a responsible manner!" O'Neill retorted.
Catra looked at Daniel, who winced, and then at Carter, who was not meeting anyone's eyes.
Yeah, right.
Jack O'Neill suppressed a wince. Yeah, the United States weren't perfect, but if he had to choose who got to experiment with magic, he'd pick a government laboratory with good supervision over some weird New Age Wicca with a grudge against their neighbours any day of the week. "Generally, we'll do it in a more responsible manner than some random person on the street. Carter here answers to the government, for example, and the government answers to the people. That means Carter can't just decide to create magical kudzu and let it loose on the prized garden across the street." He grinned at her, "No matter how much you might want to after the last homeowner association meeting."
She smiled back at him, but he could tell she was… at least slightly annoyed. Even though he was absolutely sure she had thought about doing this at least once. Who hadn't?
Good enough, though. He nodded. "Anyway, the government might not be perfect, but our scientists have supervision. And budgets."
"That feels very restrictive," Entrapta said with a pout. "I don't think non-scientists are the best people to direct research. What if they don't understand the subject? Or have an irrational fear of the potential results?"
"Well," Jack replied. "The restrictions are kind of the point."
A point, or so he believed, judging by some of the glances exchanged between their friends, that the Etherians might accept.
"So much for free enterprise," Catra commented with a toothy grin.
"Well, most scholars would agree that no freedom is absolute, and ensuring the safety of the general population is usually a sufficient reason for proportionate and effective restrictions," Daniel remarked.
"Like no zombie plagues," Burke added.
Entrapta didn't seem to be convinced.
"Or not creating portals that might destroy the world," Glimmer added.
That made Entrapta flinch. "Oh, right."
And Catra flinched as well, Jack noticed.
"But you can't really control all research either," Glimmer pointed out. "Not unless you control every country and its population. Which you don't. And your governments do run secret research projects."
"Like Stargate Command," Adora added.
Jack managed not to wince at that. "Yeah, and imagine what would have happened if that project had been without any supervision or backup by the government. Anyway, how about we talk about this once we're sure the zombie-generator is safely stashed somewhere? Like between Earth and the Sun?"
"Good idea," Adora agreed.
"Yes," Reyes spoke up. "The sooner this is out of our country, the better."
And Jack suppressed a curse. The Honduran had stayed silent during their entire conversation. They hadn't exactly spilt classified information, but the officer would have gotten more insight into the Etherians - and SG-1 - than most people. Ah well, that couldn't be helped right now. Jack would claim it was a trust-building measure.
Earth Orbit, Solar System, August 19th, 1998 (Earth Time)
"We're in space. Like astronauts." Burke shook his head as he stared out of the window.
"Yep," Jack said as he stepped up next to the agent. "And it's cold out there." And hot if you were facing the sun, but Carter wasn't here to correct him.
Burke scoffed. "It might be old news to you, but to me…" He shook his head again. "I would have never expected to experience this."
"And you can't talk to anyone about it," Jack replied before he could help himself.
Burke snorted. "That's normal in our business."
"Yes. And speaking of your business… You aren't too attached to your cosy little jungle, are you?"
Burke narrowed his eyes at Jack. "What do you mean?"
"We're always on the lookout for people who don't freak out if they encounter aliens. Or zombies."
Burke snorted. "You mean I know too much to keep running black ops."
Jack shrugged. No sense in denying that - Burke knew how the game was played.
"I don't fancy having an accident on the next mission or getting kidnapped, so I guess I don't mind getting a new assignment." Burke glanced at the window again.
"Stargate Command doesn't do that kind of stuff," Jack told him.
"Sure you don't."
"No, really. We have ethical officers and staff who wouldn't look kindly on such antics," Jack explained.
"Ah." Burke looked at Daniel. "So, no one's going to off Reyes?"
"None of us, at least," Jack replied. Who could say what the NID or CIA would do? Jack hoped they would restrain themselves - the Etherians wouldn't be happy if they found out about such operations. He had stressed that in his reports.
"Ah."
"So, welcome aboard. Don't get taken over by space snakes," Jack said with a grin. Now he wouldn't have to feel guilty any more about thinking the worst of Burke for years. Though how could he have known that Burke wouldn't tell the truth at his own court-martial? He ignored the small voice in the back of his head that told him he should have known better since Burke had been a friend.
Burke nodded, smiling almost reluctantly as he looked at space again. And at the frigate they were currently docked with. "Do I get a laser gun?"
Jack grinned again. "Well, those are actually not as good as you might expect. We use carbines, rifles, SMGs - stuff you're familiar with."
"Really?"
Jack nodded. "And if we stick with the Etherians, swords and bows might make a comeback as well."
Burke blinked, then glanced at Bow, who was talking with Glimmer in the corner. And then back at Jack. "You're bullshitting me!"
Jack chuckled. "I sure hope so." He would make a very bad Green Arrow or Hawkeye.
They spent a few minutes stargazing - well, Jack was stargazing; he should have brought his telescope - before Carter, Entrapta and the others returned to the bridge.
"All set!" Entrapta announced. "It's not quite a secure lab, but the frigate will keep it safe, and with a bot crew, so even if the containment falls, they won't be affected."
"Good." Jack wasn't about to comment about how such setups never worked in the movies. "Then we can drop off the good Major now."
"And then go after the next Naquadah item!" Entrapta said.
"Which is classified," Catra quickly added before the princess could reveal even more to Reyes.
Jack nodded in agreement and turned to the Honduran. "Need to know and all, you know."
"Of course, Colonel."
Reyes was far too quiet for Jack's taste. He was sure that the man hadn't missed much. And since he had been in command of tracking down 'bandits', he might have a background in intelligence. Probably counter-intelligence.
Jack would be much happier once the man was off the ship.
Over the Atlantic Ocean, Earth, Solar System, August 20th, 1998 (Earth Time)
"So, what's next? Siberia or the ocean?" Adora asked as Darla kept hovering over the big ocean - Mermista would probably love to explore the sea here.
"Well, the UN Security Council is a bit torn on the issue. It looks like Russia and China want us to go after the thing in the ocean first," Jack said.
"And the United States want us to secure the object in Siberia before the Russians do it, right?" Catra asked, leaning against Adora's chair, her tail brushing against her leg from time to time.
Adora still hadn't been able to make Catra admit that she was doing this intentionally.
"Yes." Jack nodded.
"We could split up," Bow suggested. "Go after both simultaneously."
"I think it would be easier to head to Siberia," Jack said. "Unless this ship can dive better than a submarine, you'll need our help to reach that."
"Well… if the depth is not too high, Darla should be able to withstand the pressure," Entrapta said. "But she's not really ready for operations under the sea."
"We usually left that to Mermista and the Salineans," Bow said.
"It's kind of her shtick," Catra added. "And she gets all huffed up if we don't let her do all the water stuff."
Adora frowned at her lover. That was a pretty biased description of Mermista. "It's only logical that she would take care of such situations, like Perfuma handles plant problems."
"Redundancy is a good thing," Catra retorted. Adora didn't believe her innocent expression.
Glimmer snorted. "Anyway, can we dive that deep?"
"I wouldn't want to risk Darla. What if she springs a leak?" Entrapta said. "We could keep the shields up, but that would mean that we have trouble doing anything outside."
"Or we could leave that to trained divers and submarines," Jack suggested.
"Your divers aren't trained in handling Goa'uld technology," Hordak retorted. "What if they set up another explosion underwater?"
"The shockwave might even be able to cause a tsunami," Carter said.
"I could make diving suits for us. It would take me some time, though," Entrapta told them.
"That's a good idea," Glimmer said. "Just in case."
"We could hit the Siberian location in the meantime," Daniel said. "We can find it more easily than the Russians, right?"
"Oh, yes! We have determined its exact location with the last scan!" Entrapta said. She pointed at the hologram showing both locations with her hair. "It's underground and in some tomb or other structure."
"Is that a Goa'uld site or a facility run by the Russian government?" Jack asked.
"Uh… I can't tell from here. It's blocking our scans to some degree."
"Which could indicate either," Sam added before Adora had to ask. "It's rather deep in the ground, Sir."
"Well, my gut says Russian," Jack commented.
"Are you sure that your gut isn't stuck in the Cold War, Jack?" Daniel asked.
"Are you sure that the Russians aren't back in the Cold War?" Jack snorted. "They want to use the alien technology to surpass us."
"And we want the alien technology to keep our position," Daniel retorted.
"And we need trustworthy allies to fight the Goa'uld and save the galaxy - and Earth," Glimmer cut in. "So… can we hit this already?" She pointed at Siberia. "I don't want to wait until your people make up their minds. This is too dangerous."
"Don't we have a mandate from the Security Council to secure all the technology we discovered?" Adora asked. That was what she had taken from the last meeting.
"Anything that isn't already safe and secure," Catra corrected her. "That was probably slipped in by the USA." She flashed her fangs at Jack.
"But what technology we've recovered is already known. The Naquadah in Siberia is not known."
"The Russians might have lied? I'm shocked!" Jack gasped and held a hand over his heart.
"You know, even at their worst, the Princess Alliance worked better than this," Glimmer said, shaking her head.
"At their worst, the Alliance didn't do anything," Bow objected.
"That's still better than working against each other," Glimmer told him.
"Well…"
Adora cleared her throat. "Let's tell the Russians we can assist them. And that we need to ensure we're not dealing with another 'zombie plague'."
Jack grinned. And Catra patted Adora's shoulder. "Who knew you could be sneaky!"
Adora frowned at her friend. She could be sneaky if she wanted to! She just usually didn't want to - honesty was better than trying to trick people who were or could become friends."
"Yeah, let's head over to Russia with your shiny space ship with the space guns and tell the Russians we're here to help," Jack said. "Let's see them try to tell us to get lost. Hey! Do you think we could land on the Red Square in Moscow first?"
"Jack!" Daniel protested. "We can't just antagonise Russia!"
"We certainly can," Jack said. He was grinning in a manner that reminded Adora of Catra when she was annoying people.
"We won't annoy the Russians - or anyone else - unless we can help it," Adora stated. "Darla, take us to Siberia."
North of Bratsk, Russia, Earth, Solar System, August 20th, 1998 (Earth Time)
"We're right above the location," Entrapta said. "I double-checked."
Samantha Carter nodded. "Yes." She had done the same. Just to be sure. Whoever had hidden the facility holding the Naquada artefact had done a thorough job - she couldn't see any sign of it from above. Then again, if this was a Goa'uld site, the millennia since they had left Earth would have done most of the work. But if this was, as the Colonel suspected, a Russian installation… "Can we map the site?" she asked.
"Yes… although it has a really confusing layout. I cannot make out a pattern… Wait! Let's scan for other metals!" Entrapta's hair flew over the console, pushing buttons and keys before Sam could react.
Other metal… Oh! "You think it's a mine?" Sam asked.
"Yes! That would explain why the tunnels aren't following logical patterns. So, there should be residual ore… Yes!" She beamed at Sam, then at Hordak. "It's an old mine!"
"And was it repurposed?" Sam asked. She eyed the screen. "Can we get more details here?"
"It's not shielded like a First One site, but the ore in the ground and the depth of the site make it hard to detect details," Entrapta explained. "Although… yes, this looks like the entrance."
On the main screen, the map zoomed in on a spot quite far away from the Naquadah's location. And that spot… there were no roads, but… Sam tilted her head. "That looks like tracks."
"Yes. All-terrain vehicles," Hordak agreed. "Someone has been visiting the site recently, or they would've been covered by vegetation again."
"Right. Without Perfuma, you can't easily erase such tracks," Entrapta said.
"There are ways to hide your tracks," Sam corrected her. "But they aren't perfect." And the closer you were to the hidden tracks - or the better your instruments - the harder it was to hide them.
"Right! So… someone's down there. Bandits?"
Bandits? Russia had a problem with organised crime and corruption, but Sam didn't think this was related to either. "I think it's more likely that this is a site controlled by the Russian government - or part of it."
"In that case, we should proceed with caution," Hordak said. "We wouldn't want to accidentally kill government troops."
Or not so accidentally. In any case, they had found the entrance. Sam suppressed a sigh - they had to call the others, who were currently resting. She knew the Colonel needed more sleep, but they couldn't risk another Egypt. "Let's call the others," she said.
"Yes!" Entrapta hit the button for the intercom. "Everyone! We found the entrance!"
Not even a minute later, the Colonel and the others entered the hold. "So, what have you scienced up?" he asked with a grin that didn't quite manage to hide how tired he was.
"We found the entrance to the installation. It's a mine! An old mine!" Entrapta said.
"And it's recently been visited," Sam added.
"So… it looks like the Russians are playing their old games again," the Colonel said, shaking his head.
"You think this is run by the Russian government?" Glimmer asked.
"You betcha," the Colonel replied. He bared his teeth. "Let's see if we can foil whatever they are planning. Without blowing up the taiga, of course."
"Of course," Entrapta added, a little too serious for Sam's taste.
"Why would they do this? They were behind the resolution to secure all alien technology not yet secured," Adora said.
"They're Russians." The Colonel shrugged. "Saying one thing and doing another was the norm for them back in the Cold War, and I doubt they changed since then."
"The United States weren't exactly very honourable and trustworthy either," Daniel said with a frown.
"But we didn't try to hide alien artefacts after telling the UN to secure them," the Colonel shot back.
"Because we already had them secured," Daniel retorted.
"It still makes no sense. They know we can detect the Naquadah," Adora said. "They can't hide from us."
"But they can blame it all on a subordinate and say their orders were misunderstood," the Colonel said.
"Or this could be a splinter group, criminals - or a Goa'uld base," Daniel said.
The Colonel frowned. "That's… also possible. Damn, I knew this was too good to be true! I was so looking forward to ruining the Russians' day."
"Jack…" Daniel shook his head.
"You weren't there," the Colonel replied. "It's a Cold War thing. Well, let's find out if we're going to hunt a Snake or poke the Russian bear."
Catra snorted. "Sounds fun."
"Catra!" Adora shook her head. "This could be a diplomatic disaster!"
The catwoman shrugged. "It's not our fault. We're honouring the request of the Security Council, aren't we?"
The Colonel nodded with a matching grin. The two were quite alike in some ways, Sam thought, not for the first time. Though she was also aware that the US government would be happy if the relationship between Russia and the Etherians would become strained over this.
Very happy.
"...and thank you. Have a nice day."
Catra leaned against the wall next to the door of the bridge, ears twitching, as O'Neill finished the call. Audio only, since for some reason, the Russians didn't want to transmit a picture or something.
O'Neill was smiling widely - like Glimmer when she got one over Catra - as he turned to face the rest of them. "Hah! I knew it! It's a secret government facility!"
"And they admitted it?" Daniel asked.
"We're hovering over its location with a spaceship," O'Neill said. "Not even the Russians would try to bluff that out. Well, most of them wouldn't." He shrugged. "Anyway, we can land next to the entrance - someone's supposed to meet us there. The 'caretaker to this absolutely not functional research station that the government totally forgot about'."
"My Russian is a bit rustier than yours, Jack, but I don't think that's an exact quote," Daniel commented. He sounded a bit jealous, in Catra's impression.
"It's a concise summary of their claims," O'Neill retorted. "Anyway, let's land - but carefully. We don't know what's in there since the Russians claim they don't know either, just that it is a storage site dating back to the Second World War."
Ah. "So there could be a Goa'uld in charge?" Adora asked.
"The Naquadah concentration hasn't moved and is too large for a Goa'uld, according to our scanner," Carter told her. "Although if a Goa'uld was wearing or carrying Naquadah devices, it might match the result we got."
"Great. So, stay sharp, folks! And don't leave the ship unguarded."
"We can take the shuttle down," Adora suggested. "Who gets to stay on it?"
Since Adora would certainly be going down, Catra would be going down as well, so she didn't even twitch at the question. By now, people should know better than to try and separate them. And Melog would likely tag along anyway - it was almost impossible to keep them out of something they wanted to enter.
Entrapta looked torn. "Someone who can use the scanner should stay… But I really want to see the technology down there! Maybe they have other, non-Naquadah-based technology?"
"Well, Russian technology of the time was said to be so durable, it would keep running even if Russians maintained it," O'Neill said with a chuckle. "But I don't think it'll be impressive."
Catra glanced at Carter. The scientist was fiddling with a gadget - it was obvious that she wanted to go down into the mine as well.
"I will stay on the ship," Hordak said. "I can operate both the weapons and the scanner, should you need assistance."
"Oh, thank you!" Entrapta went to hug him. "We'll bring back the most interesting piece of technology we find!" She blinked. "If we're allowed to, of course."
"Let's stick to alien technology," O'Neill said. "That way, the Russians can't really complain. I mean - they forgot about alien technology? Hah!"
"Well, it's possible," Bow said. "We once forgot…"
"Yes, it's possible," Glimmer cut in with a frown at him. "But we should go now."
Catra smirked as they walked to the shuttle - she had to get that story from Bow once they weren't rushing to secure Naquadah any more.
It took them longer to board the shuttle and fly out of Darla's hold than to land the thing, and by the time they disembarked - after checking for ambushes - the side of the hill in front of them was parting, revealing camouflaged doors. As soon as they opened, a slightly out of breath man the size of, well, almost Scorpia, greeted them with a funny accent. "Hello, Etherians and Americans! Welcome to Siberia! I am Dr Iwan Georgovich, sent here to take inventory of storage site!"
Behind him, four soldiers who didn't look out of breath appeared. Catra kept an eye on them.
"Hello. I'm Colonel Jack O'Neill, Stargate Command, and these are…"
"Oh, but we know them! Of them!" Georgovich beamed. "The aliens who came to visit Earth and protect us! Magical Princesses from Outer Space! You must have so much knowledge! And stories!"
"Oh great," Catra heard O'Neill mutter. "We've got a royalist Russian."
"Yeah, that's us," Adora said, smiling back. "And we'd love to talk about it. But we need to secure an alien artefact first."
"Wouldn't want to see this part of the planet blown up," O'Neill added.
"Oh, of course not, of course not! And you are in luck - we already secured the artefact - without touching it, mind you! Come in, come in! It's just a short drive!"
"A drive?" Adora asked.
"Da! Long tunnel, for safety reasons - back when Cold War might go hot - so we drive!"
In an Earth vehicle that looked a few decades old, according to the movies they had seen. And it ran on rails. If they ended up jumping tracks in an old abandoned mine, Catra would claw someone.
"So," the big man went on as they got into the car-thing, "this site was made after Great Patriotic War - Second World War - to store all the technology secured from the Nazis."
"The Nazis? Don't tell me that Hitler was a snake!" O'Neill blurted out.
"We do not think so," the man replied. "But we cannot tell. But if he was, wouldn't he have won the war with alien technology?"
"Not necessarily," Daniel said. "He might have been afraid to catch Ra's attention, and so he would…"
"It was a joke, Daniel," O'Neill said.
"Oh."
The Russian laughed. "Hah! Anyway, we take fascist technology and sort it out. Pieces left over are stored here, to be sorted out later. But later never comes, so we forgot. But we're back now, and cataloguing everything!"
"We're close to the concentration now, Sir," Carter said as the car came to a stop.
"Right, we brought crate here."
And there was a wooden crate sitting on what looked like a small loading dock. An open crate, with a…
"A DHD!" O'Neill blurted out. "We've been looking for one for ages, and there's one here? On Earth? You've had it for decades after you took it from the Nazis?"
The big Russian smiled. "Da! Good thing, yes?"
Catra chuckled at O'Neill's expression.