Chapter 28: Television Troubles
Palais des Nations, Geneva, Switzerland, August 21st, 1998 (Earth Time)
"...and Egypt remains in turmoil as the riots following the explosion of what has been declared an ancient alien bomb continue despite brutal oppression by the authorities. According to the latest news, the government is calling for a mobilisation, although numerous experts think this might be counterproductive since…"
"...Honduran government has refused to comment on reports about an incident involving a chemical or biological weapon on its territory, claiming that its armed forces have sealed off a part of a natural reserve for anti-bandit operations. Yet trustworthy sources report that the spaceship of the Etherians has been sighted in Honduran airspace, and…"
"...has called on a 'protest of the faithful' against the Etherians, urging the government to cut all ties with the 'blasphemous aliens trying to tempt the good Christians of this great nation into deadly sin'. The US government has cited that it will not let religious views dictate its policies, yet several members of congress were quoted in…"
"... who has been a member of the Republican caucus since 1980, stated that while he understands the reservations some Christians might have with regards to legalising gay marriage, it wasn't the business of the state to regulate the relationships of consenting adults. 'Marriage is between a couple and God', he said, 'and which god someone follows is a private matter'. Faced with questions about earlier statements of his that condemned gay marriage as a sin against God, he declined to comment, and…"
"...Parliament has been discussing the 'gay marriage bill' proposed by Her Majesties Government, and both Houses are expected to vote on it as soon as possible. The Prime Minister replied to accusations that he was pushing a controversial policy change merely to secure access to the Etherians' technology with the statement that it was past time to acknowledge the realities of today's society and that the United Kingdom would not be left behind by history…"
"...der Bundeskanzler sprach vor dem Parlament und bekräftigte den Willen der Regierung, ein Gesetz für die Öffnung der Ehe für gleichgeschlechtliche Paare so bald as möglich zu verfassen. Konservative Kreise haben den Gang ans Bundesverfassungsgericht angekündigt um dies zu verhindern, aber führende Rechtsexperten schätzen die Erfolgsaussichten als sehr gering ein. Wie Professor…"
"...did the French president call the numerous protests by conservative Catholics in France 'nuisances who would sacrifice our nation's place amongst the leading countries of the world for their bigoted and extremist beliefs'. He declined to respond to questions whether or not his stance was related to his alleged meeting with representatives of leading French businesses in the aerospace and related fields, and went on…"
"...hat ein Komitee angekündigt, eine Volksinitiative zur Legalisierung der gleichgeschlechtlichen Ehe zu starten. Verschiedene National- und Ständeräte haben eine parlamentarische Initiative mit dem gleichen Ziel angekündigt, während sich der Bundesrat weiterhin zurückhält und…"
"...and we're here, in Washington, where a crowd has gathered to protest the aliens' presence on US soil as an affront against God. The police are struggling to keep them and counter-protesters urging the government to legalise gay marriage and ask the Etherians to return magic to Earth apart, and several police officers have allegedly been hurt in the process, although..."
"...and we have to ask ourselves: What is magic? Is it merely a form of technology that we have yet to discover? Or is something more? Something spiritual? Or even… divine? Those who reject magic as evil might be rejecting something precious, even essential, that would prove…"
"...imagine a world where your neighbour could look at you and curse you! On a whim, they could destroy your life! A stranger on the street could strike you down with lighting! Do you want to live in such a world? No! Say no to magic! Say no to evil sorcery and…"
"...while the Pope has not yet spoken on the matter, the Vatican has confirmed that the nature of magic is a topic that concerns the Church, and…"
"...more lynchings of supposed witches have been reported all over the world, and Amnesty International has called on the United Nations and every religious leader regardless of their faith to condemn 'the senseless murder of innocents' and..."
"...New York Stock Exchange has suspended all trading after yesterday saw a crash that has come to be known as 'Black Thursday 2.0' due to the theory that automated trading by algorithms turned a volatile trading day into a disaster, and…"
"...Russia denied that the emergency measures the government took to 'preserve the country in a time of war' were aimed at hiding the fact that it was about to default on loans, and claimed…"
"...unions called for government aid for struggling businesses affected by magic and alien technology, and…"
"...armed forces were called in to keep a crowd from storming tombs and temple ruins. The government released a statement that they would do 'everything to prevent the tragedy in Egypt from happening here' and ordered a curfew and…"
"...the police in Geneva and the Swiss Army have cordoned off the Palais des Nations after the authorities received threats against both the United Nations and the aliens currently in talks there…"
Sitting in 'their' waiting room in the United Nations building, Catra sighed as she switched channels again. Earth news was, well, not completely depressing, but it came close. She had had happier briefings during the height of one of the Alliance's offensives when Adora had been kicking Horde butt all over the place.
"Can't you stay on one channel? I have no idea what any of the speakers actually said!" Glimmer complained.
Catra turned her head to look at her, rolling her eyes. "Earth people are crazy and kill each other over imaginary sorcerers. They lie about what happened with alien technology and claim their gods say we're evil. And everyone is going crazy."
"You missed that several countries are changing their laws about same-sex relationships," Bow added, looking up from his tablet.
"That's common sense and shouldn't be mentioned." Catra shot back with a sniff. "Or do you want a report each time someone doesn't ram their head into a wall instead of opening a door?"
"This is Earth," Glimmer said. "You can't expect common sense."
Catra laughed with her while Bow frowned. "It's not that bad," he protested.
"I've spent hours in negotiations with the Security Council," Glimmer corrected him. "Yes, it's that bad."
"But the Russians and the Americans are supporting us now, aren't they? And the French and British too."
Glimmer snorted. "Everyone wants to get on our good side - and paint the others as the worst possible choice as an ally."
That was, at least in Catra's opinion, exaggerated. Slightly.
Bow frowned. "The NATO alliance doesn't do that to each other."
"They do it in a more subtle manner. The French representative informed me how quickly they'll change their laws - and expressed his regrets that not every NATO country could do the same. You should have seen the glare from the American!" Glimmer shook her head. "And the British representative gave me another invitation to a dinner with their Queen."
"You could accept," Catra suggested with a grin. "Queen to queen. She likes tea, I think."
"It wouldn't be a bad idea," Bow said. "Would it? She's the most important queen on the planet."
"She doesn't have any political power," Glimmer objected, as Catra had known she would. "She would just say what the Prime Minister wants her to say. And yes," she added when Bow opened his mouth, "I know she's rich, and that many listen to her, but that's not the same." She turned to point at the television screen. "And if I meet with her, those people will scream that I want to impose monarchy on the planet."
"They're doing that anyway," Catra pointed out just to be contrarian. Not that it was wrong.
"Yes." Glimmer scowled. "But if I meet with the Queen of England, everyone else will expect a meeting as well."
"And you'll get more marriage proposals." Catra grinned widely.
Glimmer scoffed. "So does Adora."
Catra scowled in return. That was true - some people on Earth had no sense at all. And no shame. Adora was with her! She was taken!
"Uh…" Bow cleared his throat while Glimmer giggled, and Catra glared at him. "What?"
He pointed at her hands. "Claws…"
Oh! She had wrecked the armrests of her chair. For a moment, Catra felt ashamed. Then she snorted. Why should she care about that? It wasn't an expensive chair. She deliberately ran another claw over the fabric, splitting it. "Yes?"
Bow sighed.
Glimmer leaned forward, smiling toothily. "And you got marriage proposals as well, didn't you?"
From weirdos. Catra shrugged as if she didn't care at all. "What can I say? People think I'm attractive."
"They like cats."
"At least they don't want to marry me just for power," Catra shot back.
"If you were a princess, they would!"
Bow cleared his throat again. "Anyway! Leaving offers of questionable morals aside, we are making progress, aren't we?"
Glimmer sighed and nodded. "Slowly, but yes. But the Russians and the Chinese…" She shook her head.
"The Russians have been nothing but friendly," Bow said.
"A bit too friendly," Glimmer said. "I don't trust them."
Catra nodded. Iwan was friendly, but Russia's offer was a bit too perfect for her taste. Spirit of international cooperation or not, every country had some issues that complicated an alliance. That was the same for Earth and Etheria.
"But what can they do to earn our trust?" Bow spread his hands. "They are changing their laws, they have offered all their advanced technology to share, and all they ask for is that everyone cooperates."
"Exactly!" Gimmer nodded. "No hints at special exceptions or advantages. Very suspicious."
Bow rolled his eyes and looked at his tablet.
Catra shook her head as she exchanged a glance with Glimmer. Sometimes, Bow was as naive as Adora. She blinked. Would that make her like Glimmer? She scowled and grabbed the remote for the screen again. "Let's watch more news while Adora is busy helping Entrapta move some stuff."
"...and several civil rights organisations are currently debating whether or not magic is protected by the freedom of religion, as members of various Wiccan organisations as well as representatives of the First Nations claim. So far, no conclusion has been reached, and…"
Mixing magic and Earth religion? Catra sighed and switched channels again.
The Mountain, Colorado, United States, Earth, August 21st, 1998 (Earth Time)
"So, what's the verdict, Doc?" Jack O'Neill asked, trying to sound unconcerned and casual. Just a routine examination, nothing else. No reason to worry about mutations or alien genes turning him into a magical princess.
"You're in peak health, Colonel," Dr Fraser told him, glancing from the notepad in her hands to him and back. "For your age, that is."
"So, I won't need a walker this year, but if I find one on sale, I should buy it for next year?" Jack joked to hide his relief.
She frowned in return. "Puerile jokes aside, your body, particularly your knees, don't show any sign of the kind of accumulated microdamage you had before your contact with Etheria."
"I noticed that," he said. No pain at all was very noticeable.
"That's why you asked for this examination." She shook her head. "Which is a first. How ironic that you asked for a thorough examination because you were 'feeling too well'."
Jack kept grinning thanks to his long practice of putting on a happy face. He knew that Fraser knew that he hated medical exams because he could hear the day approaching when she'd pronounce him medically unfit for the field. He could feel it in his bones every time he got up in the morning. Well, he had - things had changed after Adora had healed him.
"And I have to note that you didn't report this right away," she went on with a deeper frown.
He shrugged. "I wasn't aware that feeling well was a medical condition I had to report. I'll be sure to pass it on to the rest of Stargate Command."
This time, she rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean, Colonel. This examination should have happened at the first opportunity after your return."
"We were examined," he pointed out. "You handled it personally."
"I focused on the usual - signs of being controlled by a Goa'uld, genetic tampering, foreign substances - and not magical healing of the accumulated damage a life as a soldier causes."
"It was in the report." Not very prominent - he kinda, sorta had glossed over it - and not with many details, but it had been there.
"A classified report I couldn't read," she shot back.
That made him frown. "You should have access to all our medical records."
"'Should', yes. Apparently, someone classified all mentionings of 'magic' as above my clearance." That was a scowl now.
"That wasn't me," he protested.
"I'm aware of that, Colonel." She sighed. "I will have to examine your entire team. And your latest recruit. This is likely related to the… treatment you received from Adora, but it could also be related to this 'healing device'."
"The zombie cube," he corrected her.
She ignored that. "Odds are it isn't, but we have to be sure."
"I'll pass it on," he said. "But Burke will take some time to arrive here." Provided he was vetted by Stargate Command. And released by the CIA.
She didn't like that either. Fraser was a great doctor, but she had a tendency to treat everything related to the medical aspects of Stargate Command as her kingdom and didn't like it when other concerns - perfectly valid operational concerns! - took precedence. "Send your team to me, Colonel."
"What about the Hondurans?" he asked.
"If I find anything amiss with your team, we'll have to look into examining them."
Good luck with that, he thought. "Will do!" He rose, nodded at her and left the med bay.
"So… at this time of the day, Daniel and Carter will be… in their labs." He nodded.
Jack O'Neill found Daniel in his lab, surrounded by dusty stones, and staring at his computer. "Hey, Danny-boy! Change of orders!"
"What? Jack!" Daniel looked vaguely offended at Jack interrupting him. "I'm writing my report on the recovery mission!"
Jack made a mental note to get a copy of it. It would make writing his own report easier. "Yeah, drop it for now and report to medical. Fraser's orders."
"What? She already examined us."
"That was the usual check to see if you were a snake in disguise or about to turn into a monster. But she wants a thorough examination to check if we got hit with anything related to zombies." Technically true.
Daniel grimaced. "Oh. I guess that's a good idea, even though Sam and Entrapa scanned us already, and we never were in range of the unshielded device."
"Exactly." Jack shrugged. "You know how things are with the Doc - what she didn't personally check isn't reliable in her opinion."
Daniel nodded. "I guess I'll report to her then. Get it over with." He did look a little concerned, Jack noted.
Well, that couldn't be helped.
"I'll inform the others," Jack told him.
"See you there."
"I already got examined."
Daniel blinked, then turned to stare at him. "You did?"
"Yes." Jack turned. Carter would be in her lab or the control room of the Stargate. The lab, he guessed.
"Jack! What's going on?"
"Nothing. Just a routine check."
"Jack!"
Jack hesitated for a moment. "It's really just a routine check."
"Really?"
"Yes." Technically, such examinations were routine after such a mission.
Daniel, though, frowned. "And they examined you before informing us?"
"Yes." Jack nodded and made shooing motions with his hands. "Now go get prodded and poked! I suffered through it already."
Daniel still looked suspicious but nodded.
That left Carter.
Palais des Nations, Geneva, Switzerland, August 21st, 1998 (Earth Time)
Adora should have stayed with Entrapta, just in case her friend needed another piece of heavy machinery moved around. Or a bot. Or some tiny tea brewed. Anything would have been better than attending another meeting with the Security Council. She was getting flashbacks to the Princess Prom - and not the good ones about dancing with Catra. The bad ones, where she discovered that for all the hours spent on preparing, she still hadn't gotten a grip on princess politics because they weren't acting rationally at all.
"...and, therefore, we suggest creating an international agency to oversee the Stargate Program and take control of the Stargate. With the DHD graciously donated by Russia under control of the agency."
Oh. The Russian had finished. Adora smiled at him and hoped it didn't look forced. Hadn't they suggested such an agency before?
And the American representative started speaking. "While the United States embraces the spirit of international cooperation…" Adora could hear the sarcasm this time. "...we cannot forget that we are at war with the Goa'uld. This is no time to sacrifice our hard-earned experience and cripple our war efforts for symbolic gestures. The Stargate Program might not be perfect - yet what and who is? - but its successes speak for themselves. To break up the crew who saved the world before and struck decisive blows against our enemies would be foolish. What the world needs now is pragmatism and efficiency, not empty symbols. We need the best and most experienced in charge, not political appointees."
Adora wasn't an expert, but she didn't think that the Russians had suggested breaking up Stargate Command. Although they might have implied it.
The Chinese representative was next. "China recognises the successes of the American program - and its failures - but refutes the attempt to portray a direly needed international oversight and control of the Stargate as a mere symbolic policy. The Stargate is not merely the most crucial piece of alien technology but the one link of Earth to the rest of the Galaxy. As such, it cannot belong to any single nation but has to belong to the world as a whole and, therefore, needs to be under international control. It would indeed be a betrayal of the ideals of international cooperation if the United Nations were reduced to symbolic oversight while the Americans continue to run the program and make decisions for the entirety of Earth."
That had pretty much everyone nodding in agreement, Adora noted. "I think that's a good point," she whispered to Glimmer.
"It is," her friend agreed in a low voice. "But it doesn't really concern us. That's an internal matter for Earth. This meeting was supposed to be about the relationship between the United Nations and Etheria."
At this point, Adora was glad about any agreement. Yet, Glimmer was correct. "So, should we leave and let them hash out how to handle the Stargate?" Because, apparently, they still hadn't come to an agreement despite Adora thinking they had.
Glimmer snorted. "No. That would be rude."
Catra, sitting on Adora's other side, snorted. "What's wrong with being rude?"
"It's not done in diplomacy," Glimmer replied with a slight frown. "It makes working together harder."
"I don't see much cooperation anyway."
The British - or was that United Kingdom? - representative spoke next: "As much as we understand the need for international control, we first need to define the nature and objectives of the Stargate Program. Is it meant to be a military project to wage war? Or a civilian agency responsible for the security of the Stargate? Or a diplomatic initiative to contact other planets for peaceful contact?"
"We're at war," the Russian delegate replied. "A war against an enemy willing to destroy Earth and enslave humanity. Anything has to be subordinated to winning this war."
"China concurs. The military matters have to take precedence."
"France agrees, although we should not neglect planning for the time after the war."
"The United States does not dispute that the war is of utmost importance. And it is because of that that my country opposes reckless changes to the Stargate Program."
"The Stargate Program cannot remain an American operation," the Chinese diplomat retorted. "That is unacceptable."
"Da. Russia proposes to form an international unit tasked with the security of the gate and subordinated to the Security Council."
"France supports this and suggests that the current Stargate Command would form the core of this unit so the experience of the current staff will not be lost."
"The United Kingdom agrees with the proposal."
"China as well."
This looked like they had agreed on that beforehand. So why the posturing in the council?
The American delegate didn't look happy. "The United States has important concerns about this proposal. The Stargate Program represents an enormous investment of my country, and simply handing it over to the United Nations without compensation is not acceptable. Think of the precedent this would set if any nation, at great cost, develops new technology only for the United Nations to take it."
"Like you took the Stargate from the United Kingdom?"
"You took it from Egypt."
"That was covered in a treaty."
"A treaty forced on Egypt at cannon point."
Adora sighed, not bothering to hide her mood as the delegates started bickering again. At least it seemed as if they were making progress.
"I bet if the Horde were attacking Earth, they would quickly come to an agreement," Catra said. "Do you think we should ask Priest to attack a country no one would miss?"
Adora struggled not to giggle at her lover's joke. Well, she hoped Catra was joking.
The Mountain, Colorado, United States, Earth, August 21st, 1998 (Earth Time)
Samantha Carter usually was happy when she was in her lab. Except for when she was desperately trying to find a solution to an urgent and deadly problem, but even then, there was a certain satisfaction to be found in giving your all and saving the day - not that she'd ever admit to liking that particular feeling.
But after spending so much time in Entrapta's lab, her lab in the Mountain felt… inadequate would be a polite description. Not primitive - while not as advanced overall as the Etherian's facilities she had visited, Sam had several pieces of Ancients technology. And as she had found out, Earth Computer technology stacked up decently well against crystal matrices, though the Etherians had a large lead in neural networks. Nor was it the fact that her lab was a little cramped - there were limits in the Mountain, and she had the space she needed. It wasn't as if she needed to pace to think.
But Entrapta's lab… lacked limits in more than one way. Whatever she needed, she got. And kept it. Space, tools, help. Sam felt a little isolated. She had her team - good friends - and there were other scientists to collaborate with, but when it came down to it, Sam was alone. Her against the world, in a way.
And there was the fact that Entrapta had a relationship. A potentially problematic relationship - Sam hadn't missed that even Adora and Bow seemed a bit wary of Hordak - but also a happy relationship as far as Sam could tell. Not that she had examined the issue. Or that she was jealous.
Well, she was a little envious. To work with the partner you loved… As much as she told herself that it was against regulations and prone to cause trouble, she couldn't shake that feeling. Well, with the Naquadah items recovered, and the Etherians back at negotiating with the Security Council and individual countries, Sam could focus on her work. That should help to get over this.
A knock at the door made her turn. Oh. The Colonel stood there, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. "Carter?"
"Yes, Sir?" She tilted her head slightly and straightened a bit. As the professional soldier she was.
"Dr Fraser's waiting for you for an examination. In case we got a bit too close to the zombie cube in Honduras."
She didn't smile at the name. The Colonel liked these kinds of jokes, and they were often funny, but it wouldn't do to encourage him. She nodded. "I'll make an appointment later."
"Ah… it was kind of urgent," he said, smiling almost apologetically. "Well, she did give me the impression that she wanted to examine you right away."
"'You'?" Not 'us'?
His smile slipped a little, then widened but became less honest. "I already got poked and prodded."
She frowned at that. The Colonel didn't like getting examined. "Did she contact you first?"
"I went to get a thorough checkup," he said. "Felt that I needed one - it's been a while since the last, and we kind of travelled the galaxy." He grinned.
The Colonel had gone to Dr Fraser and asked for a checkup? "Sir… is there anything…?" She trailed off. You didn't ask your superior officer about medical issues unless it threatened the mission. But you'd ask your friend. And the Colonel had been acting a little… different lately.
"Oh, everything's fine!" He smiled. "Better than fine, actually. That's why I got a checkup. Turns out I'm at peak health, and while we don't think it's because of the zombie cube, it's better to make sure."
Peak health? She blinked. Oh. "The magical healing you received by Adora." After he had been poisoned by those alien predators.
He nodded. "It's like all the 'accumulated microdamage' - which is Fraser-speak for growing old and frail, I guess - was healed."
"You were rejuvenated?" That was… She drew a hissing breath. If magic could offer eternal youth… People would go crazy. And if it was only Adora who could offer this…
"What? Not exactly." He shrugged, and she couldn't help noticing that it seemed a bit more graceful. And briefly wonder if his body looked any different now. "It's more like the growing frail part was done with. 'Peak health for my age', the good doctor called it. I'm still not twenty any more."
But, a voice in Sam's head said, he would be about as healthy as a twenty-year-old. And with the experience of a man in his forties.
She pushed the voice away into the corner of her mind, where all the other inappropriate thoughts went. The kind of thoughts that would make the Colonel call her a mad scientist. Or something else she didn't want to think about. At all.
"Carter?"
She hid her slight embarrassment with a sigh. "I'll report to medical, Colonel."
"Good. Sorry about that, but better safe than sorry, right?"
She chuckled at that. And hoped Janet wouldn't want to gossip about certain topics. Sam was… distracted enough watching the Colonel walk away.
Geneva Airport, Geneva, Switzerland, August 22nd, 1998 (Earth Time)
"Adora? Adora! We've got a problem! A huge problem! A really huge problem!"
"What?"
"Hey!" Catra scowled as Adora, on whose lap she had been napping, jumped up, almost sending Catra from the bed in their cabin to the floor.
"Sorry!" Adora turned to smile apologetically at her.
"Adora!"
Then she whipped her head around and continued towards the door. "What emergency, Bow?"
Catra rolled her eyes. "Did the Tau'ri blow up another of their countries?"
Adora opened the door, and Catra saw Bow shake his head. "No! Worse! Priest watched television!"
Adora blinked. "What?"
Catra frowned. Why would that…? She gasped. "He saw some of the nutcases ranting about us?"
Bow nodded with a grimace. "He's calling for a holy war against the heathens. You have to stop him!"
Adora was already running, Catra hot on her heels. They skidded as they took a corner - Catra's claws didn't find enough purchase on the floor - but reached the bridge without trouble.
"...and I doubt that you have the authority to call for a holy war without asking Adora first!" Glimmer was telling Priest on the screen.
"Yes!" Adora cut in. "What's this about a holy war?"
"Your Divine Highness!" Priest bowed so deeply, he almost disappeared from view. "I have seen the most terrible sacrilege! Insults so vile, they call for the blood of the heathen! I dare not repeat the words - I choke on the mere thought of it, my blood is boiling with righteous anger! Such blasphemy demands the harshest punishment possible!"
Now Catra really wanted to know what the clone had seen. That reaction seemed a little excessive even for Priest. Then again, the clone was the most fanatical of Adora's followers.
"Ah…" Adora grimaced, then frowned. "But a holy war in my name cannot be started without my permission!"
"Yes!" Glimmer chimed in. "I've been saying that all along!"
Priest ignored her. Catra had expected that - the clone had a habit of ignoring what didn't fit into his plans. But he couldn't ignore Adora.
"So, what happened?" she asked.
"But your Divine Highness! You cannot possibly expect me to repeat such… such heinous blasphemy!"
Adora blinked, then nodded. "Then send me this… recording. I will judge the matter."
"As you command, Your Divine Highness, but I have to warn you again - it's the vilest filth imaginable! I cannot fathom how anyone would dare to do this!" He turned his head to the side. "Send the…" He took a deep, shuddering breath. "...the recording."
A moment later, the console on the bridge beeped. Catra beat Adora to it and quickly displayed the message on the side screen.
"And what do you think about the aliens and their demands, Reverend?"
"Those heathens are an insult to God! Not only do those vile temptresses entice our youth to follow their disgusting example and live in sin and debauchery, but they also use magic! Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live! Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death! That is what the holy book commands us to do when faced with magic and bestiality! And yet, our heathen government, faithless men beholden to money instead of God, is not only tolerating their existence - in the sky above us, making a mockery of heaven - but they plan to spread their poison in our godfearing country! We cannot let this happen! We cannot sacrifice our immortal souls for the false promises of evil magic! If we falter, if we fail, soon our country will harbour the vilest of sinners, eclipsing even Sodom and Gomorrah!"
"The government claims that the United States need this alliance to successfully battle the Goa'uld Empire. What do you say to that? They claim that your movement is putting the entire world at risk."
"Lies! Filthy lies! God protects his own! And God punishes the sinner! If we bend to those alien demands, if we abandon God, he will strike us down - with fire from the sky! Salvation can only be granted by God, not by vile witches from space who consort with animals and monsters!"
Catra shook her head. Yeah, that would rile up Priest. Hell, the line about not lying with beasts was making her want to go and claw the guy. She wasn't a beast! But if she lost her temper, Adora would take this even worse. "That's one of the more extreme ones, I think," she said, unsheathing her claws.
"Yes," Glimmer agreed. "Most don't go as far as this fool."
"See, Your Divine Highness? We cannot let such crimes remain unpunished! The man denies your divinity! He calls you a false goddess! He wants to kill you!"
Adora grimaced. "Yes, Priest. But we cannot declare a holy war over this."
"What? But why not?"
Adora faltered for a moment. Catra was about to tell Priest that he was not to question Adora's will, but her lover shook her head and spoke up before she could say anything. "Because he is clearly insane, and we do not punish those who don't know better because they are mentally ill."
Priest blinked. "Insane? You mean… defective?"
"Ah… in a way, yes."
"But defective clones are purged - restored. Should we apprehend the… insane man and restore his facilities, Your Divine Highness?" Priest tilted his head. "I think we can duplicate the process."
They wanted to mindwipe the man? Catra hissed through clenched teeth as she remembered what had been done to her. No one deserved that! And she'd kill Priest before she let him do this!
But Adora was already talking again. "No! Absolutely not! We will not follow in Horde Prime's footsteps! We shall tolerate this man and his followers and hope that they will see the error of their ways in due time."
"As you command, Your Divine Highness. Your mercy is as great as your power!"
As soon as the transmission ended, Adora sighed. "This could have ended very badly."
"Yes," Catra agreed.
"Should we tell the Security Council about it so they can do something about this?" Bow asked.
"Yes," Catra said.
"No," Glimmer objected. "Freedom of speech is very important on Earth - remember what Daniel told us? If we ask to stop such talk, that'll cause more trouble for the negotiations."
"If Priest starts an orbital bombardment over the next blasphemy, that'll cause even more trouble," Catra pointed out.
"I think we need to ask SG-1 about this. They should know how to handle it," Adora said.
Well, it shouldn't hurt, in Catra's opinion. Probably.
The Mountain, Colorado, United States, Earth, August 22nd, 1998 (Earth Time)
"...and that's about it. I've told Priest that he can't declare a holy war on anyone who insults me, and he should be obeying, but we thought we should discuss the situation with you."
Jack O'Neill stared at the screen on which Adora smiled a little embarrassedly. Hearing that the United States might have suffered an orbital bombardment by the very fleet that was supposed to protect Earth if not for some quick words by the resident space magical girl wasn't how he liked his day to start. "Right. We've got a fleet crewed by fanatical clones orbiting Earth. How could that have slipped my mind?"
"Probably because of the lack of sleep and all the other important things we had to worry about," Daniel oh so helpfully replied.
"It was a rhetorical question, Daniel," Jack told him.
"Ah."
"Are you telling me that your fleet almost started a crusade against Earth over a television interview?"
Right. General Hammond was present as well. And he sounded as amused as Jack felt.
Adora looked confused for a moment. "Yes? That's what I just told you. Although I ordered them to tolerate such people, so Earth should be safe."
"For now," Glimmer added. "And it wasn't just an interview - the man was calling for the 'faithful' to murder us." She didn't look amused either.
"So, you could say that you guys started it." Catra, on the other hand, did look amused. Then again, her sense of humour was a bit like Jack's own - very dark.
"Anyway," Adora spoke up again. "We wanted to know if you have any ideas on how to handle that. The whole free speech and murder threat thing Daniel mentioned."
Jack raised his eyebrows at his friend, who was quickly blushing under the scrutiny of most of the room. "I did mention how important free speech is, at least for the United States. Although incitement to violence isn't protected."
"So why's the nutcase calling for us to be killed not in jail? Or dead?" Catra asked.
"Good question," Jack said before he could help himself.
"Well, it touches on erring on the side of caution when it comes to constitutional rights," Daniel said. "And this also touches freedom of religion - he could argue that he was just quoting the Bible."
"So, murdering someone's alright if it's for religious reasons?" Catra scoffed. "We should tell Priest that."
"No, no!" Daniel blurted out. He probably hadn't caught that Catra was joking. At least Jack thought she was joking. "Quoting scripture is protected both by free speech and religious freedom. But you're still not allowed to incite violence."
Adora frowned. "He seemed to be pretty clearly calling for violence - here, let me send you the recording." Her frown deepened after a moment. "Uh. Your computers aren't compatible."
"Let me handle this," Carter spoke up. She hit a few keys on her laptop. "Entrapta shared your protocols."
A few moments later, Jack saw a broadcasting logo appear on her screen. And groaned. "You know, I was joking when I said we'd be doomed by US daytime television!"
The actual interview - if you could call the soundbite that - wasn't funny even by Jack's standards.
"Uh, well… This is obviously a very extreme and not all common view," Daniel said, pushing his glasses up. "And the channel probably broadcast it to, well, raise a controversy. And get higher ratings."
That would fit in Jack's experience. "So, we're going to get nuked for more ad revenue."
"No one is getting nuked if I can help it," Hammond snapped. He turned to address the Etherians. "We'll have the government look into this. Please stay your hand."
"Thank you." Adora smiled. "I've told Priest that the person on the recording was obviously mentally disturbed and so couldn't be held responsible for what they said. But I can't keep using that excuse if too many say the same."
"Oh, everyone knows we're nuts," Jack quipped. "It's part of our charm."
"Colonel O'Neill!" "Colonel!" "Jack!"
Oops. Jack knew not everyone shared his humour, but annoying three out of four - only Teal'c hadn't scolded him - was a bit much.
Catra snickered, but Glimmer frowned. "In all seriousness, calling for our murders is not acceptable no matter how you excuse it. And other countries don't have the same laws about free speech that you have."
"Well, yeah," Jack couldn't help but shoot back, "they tend to like that they can lock up their people if they should disagree with the government. Or not agree fervently enough."
Glimmer scowled at him. "That wasn't what I meant."
Daniel cleared his throat. "Well, authoritarian governments tend to limit free speech, so the United States historically tends to err on the side of caution. And that's even without touching freedom of religion."
"You know, I bet Priest would love that view," Catra said. "And the idea that if it's just a handful of people, it's not a problem for the government."
Was she threatening them - or warning, to be more generous - that Priest might send a hit-squad to Earth and claim it was some rogue clones?
"We will inform the government," Hammond repeated himself, "and get back to you. Please ensure that there are no incidents in the meantime."
"We'll do our best," Adora said. "Please solve this."
Once the connection was cut, Hammond sighed. "What a mess. The President will have to hear of this."
"There's not much he can do about it," Daniel said. "He can't limit free speech. The Supreme Court was pretty clear on how limited the exception for inciting violence is." Jack stared at him, and Daniel flushed. "I had to write an essay in high school."
"Once we're formally at war, the President will have more options," Hammon said. "But this isn't the 1940s any more - we can't just reintroduce censorship."
"We might have to," Jack said. "If only to keep the nutcases from triggering a crusade against us. It's like yelling fire, only not in a crowded theatre, but when facing a machine gun."
"There's a lot we should be doing but can't," Hammond said.
Well, Jack couldn't disagree with that. But that didn't help with solving this problem. He was no lawyer or scholar, but he was pretty sure that endangering an entire country wasn't covered by free speech. Or shouldn't be.