Over the Hedge: Second Generation

by starwars4life

Set 15 years after Midsummer Crises. The kids and young adult hedgies are now grown adults and must continue to carry out what their parents have taught them about heists, fun, friendship, love, and family. But will the problems they now encounter as parents and mates make the hedge family grow stronger and larger, or break apart and get smaller?

5. Education and Re-Education

Chapter 5: Education and Re-Education

Ten days have passed since the hedgies' most recent trip to the playground zone. The weather is cloudy, but everyone is in good spirits. RJ wakes up in his hammock, but when he turns over to look at Heather, she isn't there. For some odd reason, this makes RJ incredibly angry, as his mind tirades, "Where could she be?! I was hoping we could spend some quality time together, but she went up and left me alone—JUST LIKE MY PARENTS DID WHEN I WAS TWO?!"

When he figures out the reason, he becomes madder than ever before. "Oh, I know why! She went to go spend time with her new grandkids! Ever since Zeke, Time, Mira, Reagan, and Ro-J came into this family, she's been spending more time with them than with me, her own mate! Whatever happened to the vows we took when we got married!? I wouldn't mind it so much if Reagan wanted to spend more time with me, but she's too much of a fraidy baby to even look at me! Everything was going perfectly until they showed up! Why, if I had five minutes alone with them, I'D—!" His rumbling stomach reminds him of the most basic yet essential need any living organisms require: food. Not pleasure, not entertainment, not fellowship, and certainly not love; but the need to feed.

In fact, RJ has never felt so hungry ever before in his life, even more so than when he nearly starved to death when he was little and on his own. He gets out of his hammock and rushes toward the main living area where the food mountain will be. Each step simultaneously saps away more of his strength while also driving him harder to get to where there is food. The resulting sensation drives RJ insane. His insanity is so severe that when Hammy zooms up to say "Hi RJ! Wanna help me find my nuts?!" RJ's hunger-induced derangement makes him see Hammy for what he and his entire squirrel species really is for all raccoons: food.

With two massive chomps, RJ devours Hammy. The blood running down his throat and dripping from his teeth is satisfying beyond measure. For the first time in his life, RJ has tasted mammal meat...And he wants more...Much, much more...

The boost of strength he gains from his recent meal only makes him hungrier. He gets to the mountain of food from heists, but it no longer interests him. No, after eating the squirrel will he ever go back to eating human food again. The food pile might as well be a rock pile. It's unappetizing, unappealing, and ugly. But when Verne comes up to RJ asking why his mouth is bleeding, RJ answers by eating Verne, shell and all. This causes quite the panic among the other family around him.

RJ thinking: "No, not family. Food...All nothing but food. Tasty...juicy...satisfying FOOOOOOD!"

RJ eats Garrett next, then Stella. By now, the food around him tries to stop him by grabbing him and trying to restrain him. He eats them quickly, finding amusement in their attempts to deny him of food. Now food shows more fear than ever before and gets out weapons to put a permanent stop to him. How dare they! It's not amusing, it's insulting that they think they can deny RJ of what he wants: FOOD! They have to be punished, the last thing they must see is how their efforts will fail! RJ eats the stranger food first, those who aren't related to him by blood. When they are all in his belly, he turns to a female possum food. He remembers her name, Heather, the one who abandoned him and betrayed their marriage vows so she could be with the grandkids. She tries to plead with him, but he eats her all the same. He next devours his daughter, then son, and finally saving the best for last: his hapless grandkids who are crying and cowering. There's nothing that makes RJ angrier than food that isn't brave enough to meet its fate head-on! He takes his time eating Zeke, Tim, Mira, Ro-J, and especially Reagan; savoring every small bite.

After swallowing the last bit of meat from food, RJ starts choking to death, the downside of constant and rapid gorging now making his body pay. He neither minds the pain nor the fact that he is dying. He dies happy with his stomach full of food.

food...Food...FOod...FOOd...FOOD!

"Food!"

RJ wakes up in his hammock for real and looks in the direction he had heard the voice. Heather has a tray holding a plate with pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, a blueberry muffin, and a glass of orange juice. "I said I brought you some food, love. You're favorite breakfast, even."

RJ blankly stares as the events of his nightmare flash before his eyes. They say dreams are caused by the subconscious mind putting memories, abstract thoughts, and wishes that are pumped up from deep within the brain into randomized or not so randomized puzzles. RJ muses with a troubled mind, "So what kind of memories, thoughts, and wishes caused me to have that kind of dream...? Have I grown more violent with age? Am I really jealous of my grandkids? Am I psychotic?...Is there a killer inside of me...?"

It doesn't take long for Heather to notice the stare her soul mate is giving her. She puts the tray of food on the ground and goes to RJ. Placing her paws on an arm she asks, "RJ, what's bothering you?"

RJ: "I...I'm not very hungry right now..."

Heather: "Because...?"

RJ: "I had the weirdest, most horrifying nightmare of all time. I woke up and was starving. I was so hungry that I...ate the whole family in a bloodthirsty rampage."

Heather gasps.

RJ's tone is one of guilt and shame when he finishes with, "Yeah, and here's the most messed up part about it: I enjoyed every second of it. I was a monster..."

Heather wraps her arms around RJ and kisses him on the lips. As what usually happens to all the spouses in the family, RJ quickly forgets all his worries and becomes lost in the love his soul mate is giving him, and he returns that love by kissing her back. When they finish, Heather says, "Yeah, that is, like, one messed up dream. But it was just a dream, not a déjà vu. It won't become a déjà vu because you would never, ever, do anything like that to any of us."

RJ: "I know, but—"

Heather: "—But nothing. You just said you know, so that's the end of it."

RJ grins at how Heather has never outgrown her teenage attitude, and how his leadership qualities have a positive effect on her. He says, "Thanks love."

Heather: "You're welcome. Now, are you gonna eat your breakfast, or should I give it to the bats?"

RJ: "They're awake?"

Heather: "Yeah, something about Lucas having a night terror. He was flying, then his wings suddenly vanished, and he fell to his doom."

RJ: "Yikes."

Heather: "Not nearly as bad as your dream, but still enough to wake up the rest of his family."

RJ: "Speaking of dream, let's not tell anyone else about mine."

Heather: "Yeah, I figured so."

RJ: "Like you said it was just a bad dream, not a déjà vu. So there's no need to bring more troubles into this family than there already are. But like my dad would say, 'the first step to getting over trauma is a full stomach.' "

RJ sits down and eats his delicious breakfast. After taking one bite of his pancake, he says, "Whoever came up with frozen pancakes is my flavorite human of all time."

Heather gives one of her famous sighs, eye rolls, and head shakes from embarrassment and says, "You should get a police ticket for making that pun."

RJ: "Come on, love of my life. That pun was sweet."

Heather pulls out a whistle and blows it hard, making RJ flinch from the high shrill and suddenness. "Penalty," she says as she tosses a yellow napkin on the ground. "That line was so cheesy that it was painful."

RJ: "You made me bite some of my tongue!"

Heather: "Cool. If it's damaged that means you'll make fewer lame jokes."

RJ: "If you want me to go on a joke diet, you are gravely mistaken. About a great. Many. Things..."

Heather: "Are you for real?! Movie quotes now?"

RJ (whimsically and rhetorically): "Wouldn't all our lives be better if it was just like a movie?"

Heather decides it's high time for her to start messing back with RJ, so she begins a debate as old as when the first motion picture was ever made. "I prefer the books. More time for fully developed stories and characters, no budget limitations, no scenes cut for time, and you can get inside characters' heads."

RJ: "Movies are always more entertaining..."

Heather: "Books are always more immersive..."

Both realize this argument will quickly turn into a stalemate, as movies' and books' advantages and disadvantages will cancel each other out. RJ simply eats his breakfast while giving Heather the this-isn't-over-yet-eye, and she does the same. Their argument is no surprise because even soul mates can get on each other's nerves. But after finishing, RJ is no longer in the mood for jokes, he wants something else.

RJ: "Which of our grandkid or grandkids will we be spoiling today? Mary's or Bernard's?"

Heather: "Our son and daughter had an ingenuous idea about that."

RJ: "Oh yeah?"

Heather: "Ro-J, Mira, and Tim will be with you, while Reagan, and Zeke will be with me."

RJ: "Ahhhh...Have the BCs bond with each other? That is a great idea. I'm still a bit disappointed that Reagan still doesn't wanna see me because of the fear of her biological father. You'd think after 10 days, Bernard and Pat would have gotten her to overcome her fear."

Heather: "They're not the only two who have been trying to make her do that. The rest of the family has too. It's just that her trauma is deeper than we can imagine."

RJ remembering the conversation he had with Heather 10 days ago, RJ lightheartedly says, "But I'll keep waiting for when that time comes, no matter how long it takes."

Heather nods yes and the two walk back to the log, paw in paw.

---

Even after 10 days of being pampered, spoiled, and seeing magic shows, Reagan's heart still hasn't fully healed. The downside of being bed-ridden with nothing to do most of the time as she recovered from her shock is that she has been doing a lot of thinking. She again loathes her ex-parents, for how they have practically ensured her life will be full of friction. With Monica and Robbie, she had to conserve energy and take it easy so that her body could survive the beatings and under-eating. But now...It's embarrassing, depressing, and maddening that she can't even play too long without going into shock because they malnourished her for years on end. Like always, Ro-J did his best to cheer her up by saying if he hadn't gone home with Bernard and had kept playing, he would have gone into shock too. That is most likely true, but it doesn't change the fact that Reagan's and Ro-J's bodies have to take time to gradually adapt to being able to run around and eat full meals. Just when Reagan thought she could finally be like a normal kid for the first time in her life, she had to go back to conserving her energy and taking it easy so that her body doesn't flatline on her.

Even worse, neither she nor her brother can get over what the minks had said about Bernard and Patricia adopting her and Ro-J as a last resort to save a doomed marriage. Their new parents each have told the kits that the love they have given is so true that there can be no doubts, to which Reagan and Ro-J agreed. They also told Regan and Ro-J that they would still be in love with each other even without kids, that they were ready to live a life with no offspring, and that Patricia would rather be happy without kids than be unhappy with kids, which is why she divorced Gerald. However, when Reagan had brought up if that was the case, then why had Bernard and Patricia been trying to adopt for so long? Bernard said it was more of something Patricia had wanted as a bonus in their marriage, not a necessity, which she confirmed. But while doing so her new parents' responses sounded rushed, made up quickly, forced on the spot. She fully acknowledged that Bernard and Patricia are infinitely better parents than her previous ones, but the seeds of doubt that were planted have already begun to bloom in her mind. After all, when everything is said and done, she isn't Patricia's and Bernard's real daughter, and Ro-J isn't their real son. As expected, Bernard and Pat had reiterated the hedgies' main motto that family is about the love shared and not blood ties, but she was getting tired of hearing what sounds more and more like an excuse.

But if there is one thing that has kept her mind from wandering off to moody places, it's the magic lessons she and Ro-J have been taking from Riley and Ellie. Though not on the same scale as their parents, everyone knows you have to start small before going big. The first trick they were taught was using a clear solid box the size of their paw that has no openings to magically trap a hard small ball inside of it by slamming the box on top of the ball. They now also know how to take three ropes of three lengths—short, medium, and long—put them together by the shoelace-like ties at the tips, and make all the ropes the same size. But they couldn't pull off out how to do the trick in reverse, in which they make the ropes go back to their original sizes.

Ellie impressed everyone when she was handcuffed by her fore- and hindpaws and managed to get free. As for Riley, he was able to hypnotize Sam into thinking he was a bird and try to fly by jumping off the top of the log, but was unable to do the same for the hedgies with average intelligence. But by far everyone's favorite trick was when Riley set out two small red balls, picked them up in each paw, closed his fists, then opened one of his paws only to reveal nothing was in it, and then drop both balls from his opposite paw. Wanting to prove his trick was pure magic, he had Kelly come be his volunteer whereby she took both balls in one paw, closed her fist and then open it. Nothing was in her paws, but both balls appeared in each of Riley's fists, impressing the kids, adults, and even Ty and Grace.

And thanks to the porcupines and wolves, Ro-J and Reagan have really taken a hobby in videogames. They are currently playing the game Race 'R Die 3: Terminal Velocity, the sequel to the game that got Kale and both pairs of triplets to become friends. Keeping with the game's theme of ripping off other popular racing games, Race 'R Die 3 is different from its predecessor in that the cars can transform into aircraft or boats, which really ups the creativity in the race courses. What makes the game so fun is that players cannot race fair; they only win by cheating, by ruining everyone else's chance of victory. At first, Ro-J hated playing games because his big sister kept beating him in every race. He was about to quit on videogames forever, until he beat Reagan for the first time three days ago. And she wasn't going easy on him, she was trying her hardest to win. According to the current wolf and porcupine teens, that's how they got into videogame too.

The kids are in the game's multiplayer battle mode where all players are in battle courses trying to eliminate the others with the vehicles' weapons. Roaster, Ro-J, and Bea are sharing the 1st player controller; Percie, Ike, and Reagan are sharing the 2nd player; and Boxer, Drake, and Ronny are sharing the 3rd player.

Ike: "One more hit and your team's out. Eat my missile, Drake!"

Boxer: "Can't see where ya's aimin' if we blind you's with bug guts on the windshield!"

When Drake presses the weapon use button, the other players' split screens fill with smashed bugs, making it hard to see for a few seconds. This gives Boxer's team the chance to speed their car to where the stash of weapon boxes are located, until Bea says, "Yucky windshields have no effect on homing missiles!" She fires her team's weapon and with an explosion, Drake's, Ronny's, and Boxer's car is destroyed and they are out of the game.

Ronny: "Daaaaawwww!"

Boxer: "¡Maldita sea!"

Drake: "As in, 'doggone it,' right Boxer?"

Boxer: "Sí, not the swearing translation."

Drake: "Then in that case, maldita sea todo!—darn it all!"

Roaster: "Ilorones..."

Percie: "You said it, Roaster! Crybabies...which is what your team's about ta become!"

With Percie having driven her team's vehicle into a weapon box, Ike presses the button and the car's front bumper grows a plow with spikes.

Reagan: "Ram 'em, Percie!"

Ro-J: "In your dreams, sister!"

Percie: "Dis ain't no dream, izza nightmare. A nightmare where you discover why I'm called 'Percie' for 'persistent!' "

Ro-J and Reagan are in charge of the sharp turn buttons which both press and hold while the wolves steer the cars. The problem is that the spiked plow by default gives the user a speed boost for the five seconds it lasts. So even when Roster runs over a boost pad, it only makes it easier for Percie to ram them when her car goes over that too. Boxer's, Ro-J's and Bea's car is damaged, but not destroyed. Percie knows something is off when none of those three players react with surprise. Instead, she and her teammates are in for a surprise when Roaster tells Bea, "Now chica amiga!" which translates as "gal pal" in this instance.

Being so focused on steering the car, Percie's team failed to notice the weapon Roster's team now uses: an electric force field that shoots out of the rear of the car. It hits Percie's car which causes the electronics to lock; the car keeps moving forward but the players are no longer controlling it. They can regain control faster by rapidly tapping the controller's buttons, but they have already gone over a boost pad, and by the time they regain control of their car, they fly off the stage and into a lava pit, instantly destroying their car. The victory fanfare sounds and the screen goes from showing three separate screens into expanding the screen of the victor vehicle so that it's taking up the whole screen.

Reagan: "NOOOOOOO-OOOOOOO!"

Ike: "Seriously?!"

Percie: "¡¿Tienes que estar bromeando conmigo¿!"

Roaster: "No, we is not 'gotta be kiddin' you's,' my hermana mayor—big sister."

Bea: "How about them apples, Ike?"

Ro-J: "In your face, Reagan!"

Roaster: "That lava ate ya's car like I did that fox from 13 days ago!"

Everyone else gasps and stares at Roaster either in confusion, fear, or disgust.

Reagan: "You ate a fox?! I thought mama and dad said you and your family didn't eat animals anymore!"

Boxer: "Yeah! This is serious, Roaster."

Roaster: "Don't get ya's nonexistent panties inna bunch. I took a bite outta the fox's chest and when I yanked my teeth out ta open a big hole in it, some of the meat went down my throat by accident. Caused me ta puke for two days, but he died and I lived, so I'll take what I can get from any encounter wittha predator."

Reagan: "Did that fox happen to have a mate, daughter, and son?"

Roaster: "Sure did, and wuzza paisano of the so-called newest, best wolf pack in the US of A, the Bush-Wackers. Why do you ask?"

Reagan: "10 days ago at the playground zone, a family of three foxes harassed dad..."

Ro-J: "It was them! They did it to get back at us for you killing their dad."

Roaster: "Well trust me, Pequeño Hombre Gran Corazón, he desoived it. I'd say he was tha' true brains of the Bush-Wackers. Without him, they're not gonna be considered the best wolf pack in America anymore. We are: The Predator-Quellers!"

Having been taught that his pack-name means "Little Man Big Heart", Ro-J remains quiet, but Roaster's siblings do not.

Percie: "Dat's what the Code of Wolf Society dictate, and we don't follow 'em." Mom and papá said our pack don't need ta be officially considered the best in the country."

Boxer: "And now we gotta be on the lookout for the Bush-Wackers comin' ta look for us in revenge—just after we got rid'a all the predators a week and a half ago!"

Roaster now sees what his sister and brother are getting at, and a horrible premonition passes through his mind's eye. "Okay, maybe I got a little carried away...But dat fox was still a predator helping oth'a predators eat prey animals in deese woods. I had ta ice 'im ta make things safe for all prey animals. And alluv us wolves killed, beat, or chased off predator animals, so don't treat my one case as anything special." Feeling annoyed with the stares he is still getting, Roaster changes the topic with, "So where's Damon and Niara, or as we call dem, Señor y Señorita Retrocede o De Lo Contrario—Mr. and Mrs. Back Off Or Else?"

Ronny: "They went to train more with Boombata and Nukalawa now that their skunk spray has fully recharged."

Reagan: "Don't minks live in the skunk sector too? Shouldn't one of you wolves be watching over them in case they encounter the same ones that attacked us at the playground zone?"

Percie lets a chuckle and says, "No need ta fret, Última sobreviviente. One of the most important things we wolves of the Predator-Queller Pack have to do is trust the abilities of prey animals to defend themselves from trouble. Oth'a'wise, we'd never have any free time ta spend havin' fun and bein' with familia."

Bea: "She's right. With Stella, Tiger, Ladarius, and De'Ausha alone, the minks won't stand a chance, but add Damon, Niara, Boombata, and Nukalawa and it's a guaranteed victory for our family, and a certainty of losing for the minks. Oh, and Última sobreviviente means 'Ultimate Survivor.' "

Percie: "Hope you's like ya pack-name. I tought it'd be very fittin'."

Reagan: "It does. Thanks."

Rebecca's voice is heard from somewhere out of earshot when she says, "Okay kids, that's enough videogames. It's time for some exercise!"

Ike says, "Awww-riiiiggght!" in a hyped up and excited voice tone before heading in the direction Rebecca's voice had come from.

Ro-J: "But we've never done gymnastics before..."

Drake: "Rebecca isn't leading this workout, Mordecai and Dexter are."

Boxer: "You's two're about ta find our why dare pack-names are Macho Murciélago Hombre y Próximo Instructor de Fitness Extraordinario—Butch Batman and Upcoming Fitness Instructor Extraordinaire—respectively."

Reagan: "But mama and dad said Ro-J and I can't do anything physical until our refeeding syndrome has passed."

Roaster: "Den you's two in luck. It normally takes 10 days of givin' starvin' folks small food portions for dem ta get back to normal. So maybe today is the day you's can eat normally and be physically active."

Ro-J: "But we had a small breakfast of one sunny-side up egg each. If our parents wanted us to eat more, they would've given us more."

Bea: "Oh...Then they're probably playing it safe by giving you and your sister an extra day or two."

Reagan goes "GRRRRRRRRR-LLLLLUUUUUUHHHHNNNN!" loudly, drawing confused stares from everyone.

Ronny: "What's the matter, Reagan?"

Reagan: "I CAN'T TAKE BEING UNABLE TO BE A REAL KID ANYMORE! Because of our worthless, abusive, terrible ex-parents you and I can't eat normally, play normally, act normally, or do anything normally while everyone else can! It's so UNFAIR!"

Ro-J: "Easy, sister. I've had to deal with all that too, and I'm not screaming."

Reagan: "You were adopted when you were two, and only suffered four years of their abuse. I have had to deal with their abuse for all my 10 years of life! I just want to be normal, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!"

Reagan sweats and pants as she catches her breath. Bea and Percie approach her and put a paw on her shoulder. Bea says, "You're right. Your life has probably been the most unfair of all kids."

Percie: "Even mi papá's experiences with his ex-pack and my mom's life as an angry loner don't come close to what you have suffered on the inside and outside."

Bea: "But you have to wait just a little longer and then the normalcy you want will be the standard of your life."

Reagan: "I want it to happen now! That day at the playground zone was the happiest time of my whole life, and it was heartbreaking for it to go away!"

Percie: "Yes, it was. But if you try it again now, you'd risk having another shock episode, which would either cause more days of waiting, or worse, death."

Reagan finally understands why she needs to get a grip of herself, and does so. However, that doesn't mean her inner pain hurts any less in this moment. She speaks more depressed than angry. "I'm sick of just watching others have fun and doing things I can't..."

Drake: "Maybe you don't have to this time. How about you climb on the back of Bernard or Mary as they do the exercises?"

Ro-J: "Yeah! We'd be there with them and still be taking things easy as our bodies fully recover."

Reagan (depressed yet spiteful tone): "I guess so..."

Percie: "Den you and ya's brother get on my back so I's can take you's both dare inna flash."

Ro-J: "Yay! Another wolf ride!"

Reagan's tone changes to one of matter-of-fact when she says, "Beats sitting here doing nothing."

When they arrive at the hedgies' main living area they discover Mordecai and Dexter standing atop the portable stage Roger's family normally uses for magic shows. Everyone except Stella's family and RJ are present.

Note: The following is based on the Over the Hedge Comic strip without a date, but comes from Volume 2 of the OTH Comic I found and got to look inside of at Amazon .com

Mordecai: "Aaaaaannnnnnnd. Thrust! Thrust!"

The family follows his movements of doing the famous Stayin' Alive dance. Dexter gets to say the next move with, "Now booty slap, booty slap!"

Everyone does the move twice as instructed. Mordecai says, "Belly dancer wiggle!", and the hedgies stick their guts out forward and wiggle so rapidly it might as well be called "Belly Twerking."

Dexter whispers, "You sure this will one day drive lady bats crazy? They can't see these moves."

Mordecai whispers back, "Trust me, son. Their other senses will give 'em an appealing picture in their mind. It's one of the ways I wooed your mother." He then speaks up so the others can hear him, "Now everyone lay on your backs, flat on the ground! And even Reagan and Ro-J can do this next simple, yet vitally healthy exercise!"

Once his ears and nose have confirmed everyone is in position Mordecai says, "Toe extensions, 2-3-4-5-6-7-8. Again, 2-3-4-5-6-7-8! Now stretch 'em out, 2-3-4-5-6-7-8. Again, 2-3-4-5-6-7-8! Your turn son!"

Dexter nods and says, "Come up so you're all sitting on your rump!" When he detects that everyone is ready he takes off his sunglasses and says, "Brow lifts, 2-3-4-5-6-7-8. Now arch it, 2-3-4-5-6-7-8!"

Mordecai says, "Spit shot! Hock it up!" Everyone hocks from the back of their throats, prompting Mordecai to state, "And go 'Pa-tooey!' " Everyone spits.

Tim is on Elroy's back and whines, "Daaaaaaddyyyyy! Zeke just spat on me!"

Elroy: "He did not, Tim. It was just the air he blew from his mouth that hit you."

Dexter: "Roll those paws or claws!"

No one gets the chance to hear the young bat count out the numbers, because Tim yells, "But when I roll my paws, I'll fall if I don't hold onto daddy!"

Clara: "Kyaa ha ha haaaaa! Looks like dare's a drama queen in the possum tribe."

Elroy angrily spits out, "No duh, Captain Obvious!"

Kale, proving he's still got it, retorts with the comeback, "Clara's talkin' about you, Elroy."

The four other wolves howl, "OOOOOOOOOO, that was good!" in unison. The other family members laugh too.

Dexter: "Now back to our exercising. Roll those paws or claws!"

Everyone does so except for Tim who mews fearfully and hugs Elroy tight. Just as Elroy give a silent thanks to Mother Nature that Timothy didn't whine this time, the joey then says, "I don't wanna do this anymore, daddy! Take me away! Pweeeeaaaseeee?" While begging Tim grabs Elroy's neck and shakes it in desperation.

Elroy's thoughts are full of dread as he muses, "Embarrassing me in front of my family, whining over the littlest of things, and manhandling me...He's just like David. And oh, how I hated that little brother of mine." Now out loud, Elroy says through clenched teeth, "Timothy, son, there's nothing to be afraid of. If you don't want to do the exercises, then climb off me and sit and watch. Just stop your darn whining, already!"

Tim stares wide-eyed and slowly climbs down while mewing as tears form in his eyes. Mary marches over to Elroy, takes his paw in her left one and takes Tim's paw in her right one, and says to her mate, "Elroy. You, me, and our kids. Alone. Now."

Elroy: "I'm sorry, Mary. I got carried away."

Mary: "That's not good enough. Now come on. It wasn't a request."

Elroy sighs and the five possum animals walk off to be somewhere alone. Once there, Mary kneels down next to Tim but locks her eyes on Elroy's as she says, "Look at your son."

Elroy does, and feels shame welling up from deep inside his core.

Mary: "Is this the face a child makes after talking to a kind, loving, and patient father?"

Elroy: "No..."

Mary: "You know what you need to do."

Elroy nods and walks toward Tim while saying, "Timothy...I'm sorry son. I shouldn't have yelled at or lost my tempter with you. I'm still not completely open to fatherhood and wish Mary and I could go back to how things were before we found you and your siblings. I never wanted to be a dad because I knew I wouldn't be good at it. All I can think of is my own selfish wants and needs, but that's something I promise to fix starting now. I'm changing my priorities; you and your siblings are my number one concern from now on. I won't say I'll never yell at you again, because part of growing up is discipline, but I will promise to yell at you only if you've done something truly bad, not if you simply annoy me."

Mary: "And...?"

Elroy looks at her in question, wondering what else there is to say. She mouths the words and he says, "And I love you." He then adds without prompt, "With all my heart."

Tim's smile returns and he runs up and hugs Elroy so hard that the adult possum feels the circulation to his leg being slowly cut off. Tim then says, "I wuv you too, daddy!"

Mary: "Now Tim, you also shouldn't have grabbed your dad by the neck either. That really hurts, so next time grab somewhere else."

Tim: "Yes mommy."

Mary: "The same goes for you too, Mira and Zeke."

Elroy: "And lastly, you kids don't need to be so dramati—"

Having known what Elroy was going to say, Mary is already next to him and whispers into his ear, "They're three-years-old, Elroy, being dramatic over little things is what they do. Every kid is like that. I was when I was three, and so were you. And Tim is more so because he's the middle child."

Elroy: "You can't say that for sure if we weren't present at their births."

Mary now speaks at a normal volume, "Then let's ask." After looking at the three she says, "Which one of you is the oldest, middle, and youngest sibling?"

Tim: "I'm oldest."

Zeke: "Nu-uh, I am!"

Mira: "I'm the middle child."

Tim: "No, our other bwothers n' sisters were born first."

Zeke: "Ha! So you not the oldest after all!"

Tim: "I was born before you."

Zeke: "Was not!" (Saying words like a machine gun) "Was na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-not!"

Tim matches Zeke's fast paced speech with, "Is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-IS"

As the three keep arguing, Elroy's and Mary's new conversation goes unheard by their joeys.

Elroy: "Hoo boy...We have found their trigger."

Mary: "I guess we'll never know who really is the oldest, youngest or middle child."

Elroy: "So why'd you say that being the middle child makes Tim the drama queen?"

Mary: "Because that's what Aunt Penny and Uncle Lou said about cousin Quillo. But wasn't your middle brother or sister the most dramatic in your family?"

Elroy: "They all were, and you know who was the worst of them all. But let's not talk about David." Elroy looks over to see the triplets are still fighting and decides to end it with, "How's about we have another PFTP—Possum Family Theater Performance, kids?"

All three gasp in unison, and excitedly jump up and down while ringing out a chorus of yeses.

Mary: "And this time we'll do a new story, one that—"

Zeke: "No! Let's do Knight saves Pwincess Fwom Dwagon!"

Mary: "But we've done that one every time. Don't you wanna try something else?"

Zeke, Tim, and Mira say, "Nuh-uh," in unison while shaking their heads no.

Mary: "I promise it'll be much funner than the prince, princess, and dragon."

Elroy puts on a fish-eating grin, his words lined with snarky wit as he says, "Oooooo, I believe the people have spoken. You know the parts we always play. So pull out the dragon sock-puppet and get to it. Chop-chop."

Mary: "I can't stand being the damsel in distress. It so doesn't fit me."

Elroy's voice tone hasn't changed as he answers with, "Are you kiddin'? You were born for that role, just as our kids were born for the role of the dragon. They're loud, impulsive, crazy, and always get in the way. And need I say why I'm perfect for the role of the knight?"

Mary: "No."

Elroy: "Well, I'm gonna do it anyway, because I know how much you 'like' it. It's because I'm the knight in shining armor who saved you from a life of misery and loneliness by becoming your mate."

Mary: "Oh, spare me. You know in our married relationship that I'm the knight and you're just a squire. Humph, I'd say you're just a page."

Elroy: "There's no such thing as a lady knight."

Mary: "Yes there was, it was called a dame."

Elroy's eyes twinkle with glee as Mary has fallen directly into his trap. "The story is the Knight saves the Princess from the Dragon, not the Dame saves the Princess."

Mary is about to say something to contradict what her mate has said, but when one of the joeys says, "C'mon mommy, let's pway!" she knows she doesn't have a choice.

Out of all the married couples in the second generation, Elroy and Mary like to mess with each other the most. Call it spouse disagreement, playing mind games, or bile fascination, there is just something fun about humorously getting on someone's nerves and knowing that they know it. And because they are family, it's not like they're going to break up over it. Besides, neither spouse ever takes it too far, so there's nothing to really complain about. Still, she sighs then reaches in her bag to pull out a dragon sock puppet, wooden play sword, costume tiara, spoon, fork, an inflatable dog mattress (for stunts), and homemade knight helmet from her bag. The helmet is made out of a cardboard package that's been painted gray; has a built-in, grill-like visor that's been cut out with scissors; and on top is an upside down, red-bristled, hand-held car wash brush.

Elroy pumps up the dog bed while Mary puts the tiara on as the joeys get inside the sock puppet. Zeke is the strongest of the siblings and is on the bottom, while Tim is standing on his shoulders, and Mira, the lightest, is on the top. The puppet has three holes the size of the young possums' heads so that visibility won't be a problem.

Mira can't contain her excitement and lets out, "ROOOAAAARRRR! I'm the fearsome dwagon and I—"

Zeke: "You didn't wait for daddy to say 'Action,' Mira."

Tim: "Besides, that not how the storwy starts."

Elroy finds himself actually enjoying his daughter's eagerness and her brothers' knowledge of how the performance should proceed. "They can use logical reasoning," he says in his head. "Mary and I just need to help them transfer those skills into every situation in life." He clears his throat and asks, "Dragon ready?"

Zeke, Tim, and Mira in unison: "Yes!"

Elroy's sarcastic snark resurges when he says, "Helpless Damsel in Distress—er, I mean, Princess ready?"

Mary: "Yes. The Princess is ready."

Elroy: "Then lights, camera, action!"

Elroy once again demonstrates his unparalleled acting skills when he hums out the famous "Morning Song" from The William Tell Overture which is followed by him speaking in a warm and cheery British accent to use as the narrator, "Once upon a time, in a land far, far away there lived a kingdom ruled by King RJ the Good, and his Queen Heather the Kind."

Elroy gives a perfect impression of RJ's voice when he speaks, "Ah my sweet Heather, everyone and everything in our fair kingdom is happy. The blacksmiths..." Elroy imitates the sound of a hammer hitting an anvil. "The farmers..." Elroy imitates the sounds of a cow, sheep, pig, and horse. "The bakers..." Elroy imitates the sound of an oven timer dinging. "The scribes..." Elroy imitates the sound of paper being written on. "Even the birds and insects are singing happily..." Elroy imitates birds and crickets chirping, along with bees buzzing.

Although Mary detests being the Princess in the story, she always looks forward to listening to all the voice and noise impressions Elroy is capable of doing. He's like the animal equivalent of that man from the Police Academy movies who could quite literally do any sound. She then executes the next dialogue by imitating Heather's voice.

"But we are not fully happy, my majesty-love. Not even all the riches and power in the land can fill the empty void in our hearts. We need children. Not just because they will carry on our bloodline after we are gone, but because we must have someone to love and raise."

Elroy imitating RJ's voice goes, "Then let us have children, my queen-love."

As the narrator, Elroy goes, "And so they did. Months later, the king and queen had a twin son and daughter. The son's name was Prince Bernard, and their daughter was Princess Mary. Finally, everyone was truly happy in the kingdom.

"Years went by, and Prince Bernard became the Captain of the Palace Guard who helped maintain the order and keep the peace within the kingdom, as well as defeat those from other lands who tried to attack from outside the kingdom." Elroy imitates swords and shields clashing.

"Meanwhile, Princess Mary was taught lessons on how to rule with authority, yet care. Her parents also had been pressing her to find a prince to wed. They brought in many princes from other kingdoms who were both handsome and charming, but Mary wasn't satisfied."

Mary: "Oh, they are all so nice, but I don't want to wed a prince, I want to marry a knight."

Elroy becomes the narrator when he says, "But her parents had told her many times..." With RJ's voice he says, "You are a princess. And you must marry a prince."

Mary puts both paws in on her chest and says in a voice of awe, "But mother and father, my knight in shining armor who will save me one day, that is who I want to be my mate." Mary actually enjoys the next things that are about to be said, because it pokes fun of the most overused, over-cliched, overly-predictable—and therefore, BORING—plot of every Disney princess movie. "I have also grown weary of being cooped up in this palace all my life. I want to go out into the world and have adventure and excitement."

Mary says as Heather, "Mary, Mary, Mary...You have been reading too many fantasy stories in your free time. All your life you have grown up in this palace, and your father and I have raised you for one reason: to rule our kingdom. Besides, whenever the princess marries the man in the stories—whether it be a prince, knight, or even commoner—they both end up living in the castle, meaning all the time spent on being outside the palace to see the world was a total waste."

As herself, Mary says, "So true, mother. So very true. I just wish there was more excitement in our kingdom."

Elroy the narrator says, "As soon as Princess Mary said those words, the old saying 'Be careful what you wish for' came into practice. A fearsome fire-breathing dragon suddenly flew in and started wreaking havoc across the whole kingdom!"

All three joeys roar and make loud exhales which Elroy follows up with fire sounds and Mary makes screams of the panicked villagers.

Elroy the narrator then says, "Prince Bernard rallied his fellow guardsmen to battle the dragon, but no one but Bernard was able to survive."

The joeys make eating sounds followed by burping. When they're done Elroy as RJ says, "How horrible! Our son is the only knight left, and even an army couldn't stop the dragon! What ever shall we do?!"

Mary: "Mother and father, take Bernard and flee! I'll stay behind and let the dragon..." Mary breaks character and says, "Oh come on, Elroy! This is so dumb beyond belief!"

Elroy: "Stick to the script, babe. You know how much our kids like this next part."

Mary sighs and gets back into character. "I'll stay being and let the dragon take me as a hostage. It will be no different from what I'm used to; being in the palace waiting for a hero to save me from the dragon who, of course, has nothing better to do than guard a princess in a castle!"

Zeke and Tim laugh maniacally and when they're done, Mira says in a deep voice, "That's wight, Pwincess Mare-wy. I've come all the way fwom a land of darkness and evil just to keep you as a pwisoner in your own castle."

Mary grumbles, "Oh no. Somebody save me."

Elroy, Zeke, Tim, and Mira in unison: "Eh-hem!"

With genuine effort this time, Mary shouts, "Oh no! Somebody, SAVE MEEEE-EEEEE!"

Elroy chuckles in his throat as Mary rolls her eyes, then resumes the role of the narrator. "And so, the King, Queen, and Prince escaped using the castle catacombs while their precious daughter chose to bravely remain behind in the dragon's clutches. The once happy kingdom became a kingdom of sadness and despair. But it was short lived, because one of the guards was not really dead, he was just playing possum! It was none other than the brave Sir Elroy. The opossum was the strongest of Prince Bernard's guards and had a crush on the beautiful Princess Mary. Having heard the dragon's words and the cries of his secret admirer's pleas, as night fell and the dragon went to sleep, Sir Elroy decided the time for playing dead was over."

As himself Elroy says, "The time for action is now!" while putting on the knight helmet and brandishing his sword.

Now as the narrator Elroy says, "Sir Elroy carefully made his way around the sleeping dragon," while acting out his role in the play. He pauses for the joeys to lie down and make snoring noises then continues as himself in a whisper, "As long as I don't make a sound, I will be able to sneak up on the dragon and slay him in his sleep."

Switching back to the narrator, Elroy goes, "But just as Sir Elroy raised his sword, his foot hit the armor of one of his downed guardsmen." Elroy makes the sound of metal hitting metal, then narrates, "And the fearsome dragon awoke!"

The joeys stand up and roar. Mira says, "Who woke me up?!"

Tim: "Ah! One knight is still awive!"

Zeke: "Now he shall suffer the same fate as the others!"

Narrator Elroy says, "The dragon's words woke up Princess Mary who rushed out to the balcony and was full of hope at the mere sight of Sir Elroy."

Mary: "Sir Elroy! I have thoroughly read about dragon anatomy in the castle's encyclopedia! The one here is a green southwest horned-nosed dragon, and his weak spot is his nose horn! Chop that off and he'll be vanquished!"

Sir Elroy: "It's a good thing you never explored outside the palace and used your time in there wisely just in case you ever got captured by a dragon."

Mary muses, "Doggone, old-timey, sexist story..." in annoyance of what her next line is, but goes ahead and says it aloud with all her effort. "Oh save me, Brave Sir Elroy. SAVE ME!"

Mira: "You'll never hit my horn!"

Zeke: "I'm gonna eat you!"

Tim: "But first, I'll fwy you!"

The kids make loud exhales which Elroy follows up with more fire sound effects as he dodges the dragon's imaginary fire breath. He jabs his sword forward and upward aiming at the nose horn, but Tim uses the fork and spoon—the dragon's makeshift arms—to bat the blade away. Mira growls out, "Tail whip!" and makes a Swoosh! sound.

Sir Elroy jumps and swings the sword, but only scratches the dragon's tough back hide, causing no damage. The dragon turns around to face Sir Elroy who slices off one of the dragon's arms. The kids let out a roar of pain and rage as the spoon drops to the ground. Sir Elroy then aims for the other arm, but the dragon swats the sword out of Elroy's arms. Sir Elroy gasps.

Tim: "That twick won't work twice!"

Mira: "Neither will pwaying dead!"

Zeke: "You're finished!"

Narrator Elroy takes over. "Cornered, tired, and now helpless without a weapon, brave Sir Elroy cowers in fear! The beast threw it's head back, readying another blast of fire breath. It was at this moment, when all hope was lost, that Princess Mary, using her knowledge of the palace's infrastructure, pulls the crank that opens the water tower. A water fall comes down and puts out the dragon's fire breath, creating a cloud of thick steam! Princess Mary also got a sword from her father's bedroom that she throws down to Sir Elroy after saying..."

Princess Mary: "Here! Catch!..." (Puts both paws on her cheeks) "Oh, SAVE ME!"

Narrator Elroy: "The dragon can't see through all the steam, but Elroy is lower than the monster's head, so he still can. He picks up the sword Princess Mary tossed and cleaves off the dragon's leg!"

Sir Elroy swings the sword sideways and Zeke falls onto the dog bed, his siblings on top shouting in rage and frustration all the way down.

Narrator Elroy: "With the tide of the battle turned, Sir Elroy makes his way around the dragon, finds the nose horn, and chops it off!"

After Sir Elroy does so, the joeys scream in agony as the dragon dies.

Princess Mary makes her way down to the ground and flings her arms around her knight in shining armor. "Oh, Sir Elroy, you saved me!"

Sir Elroy does a chivalrous kneel and says, "All in a day's work, my Princess."

Princess Mary taps the knight on the shoulder and says, "Arise brave Sir Elroy." After he does so she looks him in the eyes and says, "And c'mon, you must have something more to say than that."

Narrator Elroy: "Sir Elroy pauses and after some thought decides to confess his true feelings toward the princess."

"Actually, your highness..." says Sir Elroy as he kneels down, "I am in love with you. I have been in love with you for a long time, but was afraid to say it because I thought you didn't love me."

Princess Mary: "Oh, Sir Elroy I've been in love with you longer! My brother has told me all about how brave and loyal you are, I've seen your skill during training sessions, and now you've saved me from the horrible dragon. Of course I love you too!"

Princess Mary embraces Sir Elroy and the two kiss.

Narrator Elroy: "As they kiss, King RJ, Queen Heather, and Prince Bernard then walk up.

Elroy as King RJ: "Well, well, well, it seems like my daughter has found her knight in shining armor after all."

Mary as Queen Heather: "And while you may not be a prince Sir Elroy, your valiance, courage, and strength have all proven that you are worthy of marrying my daughter."

Elroy as King RJ: "Will you accept my blessing of taking our daughter as your mate?"

Sir Elroy: "I would be honored your majesty! But who will rule the kingdom?"

Elroy as Prince Bernard: "I knew one day you would prove yourself a better warrior than even myself, Sir Elroy. So I will take my sister's place as the one who stays in the castle to run the kingdom after my parents retire, while you and Mary spend your lives however you wish!"

Princess Mary: "Oh thank you, brother! Now my knight and I can live a life of excitement and adventure!"

Narrator Elroy: "And so they did. Princess Mary and Sir Elroy traveled the world going on many adventures and having the time of their lives! But things got even better when they adopted three young joeys and raised them as their own...

"But that is another story. The End."

All five clap in place of an audience, but are then joined by more clapping and cheering, as it turns out the rest of the family has been watching their performance. When the clapping and cheering dies down, Mary asks, "How long have y'all been there?"

Heather: "We finished our workout session and then heard you five and followed your voices. We came in at the part when the dragon fell asleep."

Rick: "Way to go on that performance!"

Ty: "I'm really in favor of Elroy's twist on the tale of not having the dragon take the princess away, and instead keeping the setting in the kingdom. It saves time and effort that are otherwise wasted on traveling and more narration just for the sake of extending the story's running time."

Grace: "And your ending is much better and makes more sense than all those Disney movies where the Princess lives happily ever after, but goes back to being in a palace—the exact place she didn't want to be."

Heather: "Ozzie—rest his soul—is, like, so proud of you, your mate, and kids, Mary. Just like me and all of us."

Luby: "If you're in the mood, we would love for you five to start from the beginning. We missed that part."

Aleshia: "And this time, include us in the plot."

Roger: "Just tell is what to do, and how to play our roles, and we'll do it."

Elroy smiles and says, "Whaddo'ya say kids and Mary?"

Mary, Zeke, Tim, and Mira in unison: "Yes!"

As the parts are assigned and discussed, and the battle plans laid out and rehearsed, elsewhere there another real battle is about to begin.

---

Meanwhile, Stella, Tiger, De'Ausha, Ladarius, Damon, and Niara are surprised when Boombata and Nukalawa meet them at the entrance of the Skunk Sector. Anticipating the confused looks, Boombata begins with, "They waiting for you all."

Stella: "Who's 'they'?"

Nukalawa: "The minks who harassed your family. We figured they want to prove themselves superior to you all, so Boombata and I agreed wit them to schedule a duel today."

Tiger: "You did this without us having a say? That is not honorable."

Boombata: "Agree, it was not right of us, but'is it a bad ting?"

Nukalawa: "Is that not wha you six want? To show those troublemakers who really better?"

Ladarius: "Not at all."

De'Ausha: "Our kid're ready."

Damon: "Yeah!"

Niara: "Our time to shine!"

Stella: "What kinda duel we talkin' 'bout?"

Boombata: "What else? A spray duel."

Tiger no longer feels offended, but intrigued as he says, "I see...But who will judge the duel? It cannot be any of us, and certainly not any of them. It must be unbiased."

Nukalawa: "We got that covered. Other skunks from dis part'a dee forest will decide winner and loser. Rest of us just be spectators."

Tiger: "If I had skunk spray, I would join you. Sadly I cannot, but am confident you will all make me proud."

Niara: "What're we still waitin' heah, for?! Let's go and show those no-gooders who's boss!"

Ladarius: "Just treat it like'a regul'ah trainin' session."

Boombata: "Don't count on it."

The six hedgies ask, "What?" in unison.

Boombata: "That would give you unfair advantage over minks. This duel be challenging for all."

Stella: "In that case, I'd say it's for th'a best..."

De'Ausha: "It makes no difference. We and our kids'll beat 'em anyway."

Damon: "Where's it gonna be at?"

Nukalawa: "Follow us."

The mustelids and one feline walk for five minutes, during which time they quickly catch on to how this will indeed be a kind of duel they have never prepared for. When they get to the place where a crowd of skunks, weasels, and minks are gathered it's not at the skunk section, but rather at the creek that separates the woods of the EFE from the greater forests beyond. Everyone feels a bit nervous since crossing that creek will put them in the woods where predators still roam freely. But their slight fear is completely cast aside when they see the minks from 10 days ago waiting for them. The 12 minks consist of Bruce, his mate Elan, and their daughter Madeline/Maddie; Robin, her mate Nick, and their son Alfred Jr. (AJ); Stratford and his older brother who had refereed the dodgeball game, Jude; Connie (who had sprayed Kelly in the eye), Chris, and their parents Christopher and Casandra/Cassie.

Indeed, they waste no time in making their presence known to the hedgies, as Bruce's daughter, Maddie boastingly says, "There you are. We were thinkin' you wouldn't show up 'cuz you're too scaaaa-errrred!"

Niara: "Of you? Pah-leese."

A male spotted skunk named Jacoby cuts them off with, "Less sass and mo' listenin'." The participants get quiet. "This duel will test mo' than just yo sprays accuracy and potency. It'll also test yo physical prowess and courage. Here's how it'll be done. Contestants cannot spray each other until they get on the stones of the creek. If you fall into the creek or are sprayed once, you're out. When you're out, you have to sit down on a makeshift raft attached to the stones. Any additional or prolonged sprays will cause disqualification of the offenders' side. There's another impo'tant reason not to over-spray: 'cuz whoever's left with the most spray once the duel is ov'a will be awarded several extra points by our judges." Jacoby looks at the hedgies and says, "Since there's only five of you against 12 of them, we agreed to let Nukalawa, Boombata, along with three oth'a contestants help y'all. One of 'em is my mate, Amber."

Ladarius: "Amby! Our old baseball teammate from the day I met De'Ausha! I should'a known."

Amber: "It's good ta be back on Team Der and De'Ausha again. But we'll chat late'ah."

Damon: "Who're the other two contestants to help us out, Mr. Jacoby?"

Voice: "Well, who betta to help y'all then yo own family?"

The hedgies turn and have smiles on their faces when Ladarius's parents, Jordan (who had spoken) and Ahniyah, come from behind the crowd of mustelids.

Damon: "G-Daddy and G-Mama!"

Ahniyah: "We heard what happened 10 days ago and gladly agreed ta come help out our grandkids."

Jacoby: "Now that it's 12 against 12, the odds're even. Let's waste no mo time. Contestants, get ready."

Everyone tenses up.

Damon glares at the minks and says, "Time to pay your debts..."

Jacoby: "Get set..."

AJ mirrors Damon's glare and says, "Time to show you who's boss..."

Jacoby: "BEGIN!"

The 24 contestants run equally fast and get to the rocks or rafts (made of branches tied together with vines) simultaneously, meaning they all are really eager to defeat their adversaries. One of whom is too eager, as Connie is the first to spray at Ahniyah, but the girl didn't take the time to make sure her footing was stable. She slips on the smooth rock and falls into the creek, her spray going wide and hitting nobody.

Christopher chastises his daughter by angrily yelling, "Connie, you idget! You're gonna get spanked for being the first one out!"

He refocuses on the fight just in time to avoid Boombata's spray by ducking. The zorilla instantly alters his aim, but at that point, Christopher has fired his own spray. In a moment like something out of an action movie, the two spray streams hit in the space between the American and African mustelid, and enter a beam-o-war. Both spray harder, making the stream favor Christopher, then Boombata; Boombata, then Christopher. Just when it seems that Christopher is about to win the beam-o-war, his spray supply starts to diminish and his stream becomes weaker. This results in Boombata using what little spray he has left to make his stream hit Christopher. The mink growls in anger while getting onto the nearby raft.

As expected, now that Boombata is defenseless, Bruce aims for the zorilla, but Boombata jumps to another rock to avoid getting hit. Bruce is so fixated on taking out Boombata that the mink almost leaves himself open for a retaliatory strike from De'Ausha, but Bruce dodges after Maddie says, "Watch out, dad!"

Meanwhile, Niara shoots short but rapid bursts of her spray that resembles rapid fire, forcing five of the minks to find a new stone to step on. Jude nearly falls into the creek but regains his footing. Elan lands on her new stone on all fours and jump-turns so that she can spray at Amber. Elan would have hit the spotted skunk, but Amber's species has a unique way of firing their spray: by doing a handstand. This allows her to spray while facing her enemy, instead of having to look over her shoulder or in between her legs. Amber hits Elan, then dodges the mink's spray by doing a front handspring onto another stone. Recognizing her as the biggest threat, Jude and Stratford each fire their spray at Amber, who, without any nearby stones to jump on, is unable to dodge two simultaneous streams. Ladarius avenges his old friend by firing a stream of spray that sways left to right. It hits Jude, but misses Stratford who is shorter. Ladarius has to jump to another stone to avoid Nick's spray, but while Ladarius is in midair, Nick alters his aim so that he hits the stone that Ladarius is about to land on. The newly slick surface causes Ladarius to lose his footing and fall into the creek.

De'Ausha shouts in loss, "Der!" Then shouts in spite, "Take this!"

De'Ausha's spray is so powerful that it outright knocks Nick off his stone as if he was hit by the Full setting of a hose nozzle. Stella congratulates her daughter by saying, "Thatta gurl, De'Ausha!"

While that has been going on, one of the minks who was hit by Niara's "machine gun burst" is AJ, who, unable to bear the shame of getting eliminated without hitting one of his opponents, fires his spray at Niara and hits her. He gloatingly says, "Ha-ha! In your face! If I go out, I'm takin' you with me!"

Just as Robin and Nick are about to congratulate their son, a male skunk judge blows a whistle and shouts, "Alfred Jr.'s hit doesn't count."

Robin and Nick in unison: "WHAT?!"

The judge continues as if the pair had never spoken, "Niara is still in the duel because Alfred Jr. was clearly hit before he sprayed her."

A second judge is a female mink who adds, "And because he sprayed after he was out, his whole side is disqualified."

The third and last judge is a male weasel who says, "Meaning the winners are—"

All participants in the duel take the same side by shouting "NO!" at the judges.

Bruce: "We're not stoppin' till one side has beaten the other!"

Damon: "This fight's not about contest, it's personal!"

With that, the contestants resume their battle. Being a honey badger, it's in Nukalawa's genes to rush head-first into danger and attack like a kamikaze instead of a fighter. After seeing that Stratford isn't looking at her, Nukalawa jumps over so that she is on the same rock as the young mink and envelops him in a cloud of her short-ranged yet powerful stink bomb before he can even yelp in surprise of her getting up close. The stench is so powerful that Stratford passes out and falls into the creek. Knowing that he will risk drowning while unconscious, Nukalawa jumps in after him and places him on a nearby raft.

The audience and judges clap, with the skunk judge then saying, "Because Nukalawa was willing to eliminate herself in order to save her opponent, she is allowed to stay in the duel for now."

Even though he has been fighting against the hedgies' side, Jude shouts, "Hey!" at Nukalawa and once they lock eyes he finishes with, "Thank you..." while pressing his palms together as if praying and giving a head bow.

Nukalawa nods and says, "Just because we enemies doesn't mean I cann'ah show humanity."

Displaying that he and his family are the lowest of all, Chris takes advantage of Nukalawa's distraction and sprays in her direction her, making his parents and sister whoop in victory. The victory turns into loss when Boombata shows up out of nowhere and takes the spray so that his mate doesn't. Having proven himself to be the most dastardly, De'Ausha, Jordan, Ahniyah, Damon, and Niara all aim at Chris, with Jordan yelling, "You good-fer-nuthin', 'lil, scumbagged punk!" Sadly, Chris sees them shift toward him and has plenty of time to backflip to another stone. While doing so, his spray hits Ahniyah in the face, eliminating her as she falls into the creek, but she is able to swim to a raft safely. Chris then dodges the next attack by misty-flipping to a second stone. The four hedgies have to jump or dodge as well when Bruce, Nick, Cassie, Maddie, and Chris aim at each of them. No one is hit on either side, but Jordan zigs when he should have zagged and falls into the creek. Cassie is closest to Stella and, being 20 years younger, is able to get into position to spray before the skunk. To Cassie's horror, she is out of spray, making Stella smirk as she gets ready to spray Cassie.

Seeing that Chris is an arm's length away, Cassie sinks to a new low when she grabs her own son and uses him as a shield to block Stella's shot. Even worse, Stella had fired her hardest, wanting the mother to gag at the stench that even a mink would find fetid, but now Chris is being hit by it. If that wasn't enough, Cassie then tosses Chris nonchalantly into the creek, jumps to the rock Stella is on and starts clawing at her. Stella doesn't go without a fight and grabs and pulls at Cassie's headfur, yanking some of it out with one of her paws. The scuffle doesn't even end when they both fall in the creek, and they keep clawing and fur-pulling when their heads come above the water. The only thing that stops it is when Nukalawa fires another stink bomb, which forces them to swim away from each other.

Nukalawa is hit by Bruce and goes into a raft. Maddie then hits De'Ausha, meaning that only Damon and Niara are left against Bruce, Nick, and Maddie. Niara tries to spray Maddie, but has run out. She gets close to Damon, willing to protect him from any spray. But her twin brother has no intention of his sister sacrificing herself for his sake. Instead, he looks at her in the eyes and the two grin as they know what to do to end this duel.

Niara runs circles around Damon, forcing the three minks to have to come closer to get a clear shot. The way the latter move has them surrounding Damon and Niara who are on a stone in the middle. Before any of their adversaries can get into an attack stance, Damon does a break dance move by spinning while standing on his head, spraying the whole time which hits and eliminates all three of the remaining contestants.

All three judges blow whistles, which is followed by the skunk announcing, "Duel over! Damon and Niara's family wins fair and square!"

The audience can only clap instead of cheer, because if they take a deep breath, even the skunk and mink bystanders would risk throwing up from the stench. With end of the duel, the air has been so spoiled that most insects have passed out or died, the fish in the creek have fled away, and all other non-mustelid animals who live on the land nearby are evacuating their homes—including the predators.

Sensing there will be sore losers, the mink judge elaborates, "More of their side have not been sprayed, or fallen in the creek."

The weasel judge then says, "And to top it off, the range and power of their spray was greater than their opponents."

All minks in unison: "WHAT?!"

Elan: "Impossible! My kids and I have driven off bears with our spray, and you're saying that a team with an old lady, hybrid, and two foreign outsiders is better than my family and friends?!"

Stella, De'Ausha, Boombata, and Nukalawa cross their arms and narrow their eyes at Elan for pointing at them while making her remarks, but remain silent because they've been called worse, and they have already won, so there's no need to be sore winners.

Nick demonstrates that he's at least the most level-headed of the mink sore losers when he points at the hedgies and notes, "And they had a zorilla and honey badger on their side, whose spray is naturally better than a skunk's or mink's. So they had an unfair advantage from the get-go."

The skunk judge helps placate things with, "We knew about Boombata and Nukalawa, and made sure to not count their stench in our analysis of the victors. And yes, Elan, De'Ausha's spray is more powerful than yours or your kids'."

The mink judge adds, "And Damon's and Niara's spray outclassed all the kids, and even some of the adults."

The weasel judge nods and then looks at the losing side to say, "Now you minks did put up a great fight and your spray was potent. My fellow judges and I were certain y'all would win once you had surrounded Damon and Niara. But it takes more than physical strength to win a duel like this. The skunks and their side used better teamwork and wits to defeat you all."

The skunk judge joins his college by saying, "This duel has been settled. They won, you lost. If you want to be sore losers and get back at them for this, feel free. But after today's results, you better think twice before trying to antagonize them."

The mink judge does not go easy on the members of her own species when she states, "I agree. All of you dueled in an area outside of your element, I wouldn't want to imagine how bad a fight would go it if was on their own terms."

With that, the judges and audience start to leave, and the skunks enter a group hug and begin congratulating each other. Tiger runs up and says, "Ha ha! YEEE-EESSSSS! I knew my love, my daughter, grandkids, son-in-law, and in-laws would best those minks! And of course our friends like Boombata, Nukalawa, and Amber."

Boombata: "All that training you do wit'us be payin' off now, isn't it Damon and Niara?"

Niara: "Sho is, Boombata!"

Nukalawa: "But there still much to teach you. Don't let dis vict'try make you two think there's no room to grow."

Damon: "We know what we do with y'all n' our family is a lifelong thing."

Ladarius: "But we earned tha' right ta celebrate, so let's go home and tell our family the good news!"

Damon: "Yeah! We have the legal right to enjoy the perfect scent of our victory!"

Niara: "And we proved we have the right to be proud of our stench!"

After some brief cheers, the hedgies and their friends head in the proper direction, all while continuing to ignore the mink parents scolding their kids.

Bruce: "Maddie...you lost a second time to those misfits!?"

Maddie: "You did too, dad."

Bruce grabs his daughter by the scruff of her neck and brings her face close to his. In a quiet yet venomous tone he threatens, "Don't. You. DARE. Talk back to your father!"

He then flicks her hard in the forehead with his finger, causing Maddie to say, "Ouch! I wasn't talking back, I was only telling the truth!"

The other parents and kids have had similar exchanges. However, this time, a certain scolding is in favor of the hedgies who had bested them, because Jude is the first to turn against his fellow minks by telling Chris, "Stratford can't swim, even if he's not out cold! Nukalawa saved my little brother's life and you try to spray her?!"

Stratford: "We're no longer friends, Chris!"

Christopher: "Quit being so dramatic you two. She was distracted in the middle of a duel and my son took advantage of it. No wrong."

Cassie: "Besides, the honey badger should have been counted as out for jumping in the water, so Chris did the right thing of trying to make sure she was out. Isn't that right, Chris?"

Chris: "Y-yeah, Mom."

Cassie: "You sound confused. Is something wrong?" Her tone also becomes low and foul when she menacingly asks, "Did you not like doing what you did to that disgusting, bee larva-eating, primitive, African-savage, reject?"

Chris: "I did mom. My mind is just still trying to recover from the spray of that skunk who got me. I didn't think someone that old would have that much stink power."

Robin: "Speaking of stink power, I think I speak for all of us adults in saying that all you kids are grounded for losing to those rejects. Only weaklings could have lost to them."

Bruce: "And even though we adults also lost, it was because you kids haven't been paying attention to all the lessons we've been giving you! If y'all had been as coordinated, smart, and fit as them we would've been an unstoppable force of nature!"

Connie: "But you and my parents already drill us so hard..."

Nick: "Then we'll obviously have to drill you all even harder."

The kids barely get even a microsecond to groan before Elan claps once which is her way of cracking a whip. "Stop whining! You kids failed us twice, now you'll have to pay for that!"

Jude: "Do what you wanna do, but I'm not punishing my little brother. We're going home, and we're gonna start looking for new friends." (Looks at Casandra) "And you should be ashamed of using your own son as a human-mink shield. You value your own life and ego over your own child...Chris, if I were you, I'd put myself up for adoption."

Casandra: "Get outta here, you quitter!"

Jude: "Good riddance to you too."

Knowing what their parents will do to them, the mink kids almost want to go with Stratford and Jude, but can't because doing so would result in a beating. However, although they are angry at the hedgies for beating them, Maddie, Alfred Jr., Stratford, Connie, and Chris are also curious. They had experienced firsthand how effective Damon and Niara were, and now the minks desire to find out how those two seven-year-olds learned such skills.

And they know just how to do it.

---

After finishing the story of the knight saving the princess from the dragon, the hedgies had gone their separate ways to do their own things. Once Riley and Ellie see that Roger and Aleshia go to socialize with Luby, Rick, Ty, and Grace, the kits have a perfect idea of what they can do for the rest of the day. And Reagan's next words seal the deal.

Still feeling bummed out about not being able to fully participate in fun activities, Reagan bitterly announces, "Well, I'm going back to the TV to play videogames...it's about the only thing I can do for now."

Ellie: "Why waste your time and braincells on that when you can come with me and my brother to see us perform a magic show?"

Reagan: "No offense, but you've done so many of those for me lately that they're kinda getting old."

Riley smiles while saying, "We were planning on doing things we haven't show you yet." He pauses to check, and confirms his parents are out of earshot. Still he whispers to her, "More, risky things."

Reagan raises an eyebrow as she asks, "What kind of risky things?"

Riley: "Not here. Let's go. We've already got 'em set up."

Hammy: "Oh! Did I hear a magic show? Count me in!"

Sam: "Me too!"

Aaron: "Me three!"

Ro-J: "Me four!"

Kelly: "Me five!"

Ellie does her best impression of her father when she says, "Then let us maketh our way to the clubhouse!"

None of the other adults who hear the kids pay much mind to what Ellie and Riley are planning because Hammy is with them and thus can provide supervision. The party of eight make their way to an underground clubhouse that the family had dug to serve as Ellie's and Riley's downtime spot. In reality, it's a dumpster the hedgies had stolen from a campsite using a "borrowed" forklift and then buried. But it serves its purpose well. When the three squirrels and four raccoons get inside they discover that this will indeed be a different kind of magic show, because some of the elements are unknown to the performers themselves.

When Ellie walks in and sees a peculiar setup, she points and asks her brother, "Hey, isn't that daddy's water trap?"

Riley: "Sure is."

Ellie: "But mommy and daddy said we're not allowed to use that yet."

Riley: "Like Reagan said, I'm getting tired of doing the same old tricks and wanna try out new things. And don't you too? Didn't you tell me the other day that you've always wanted to perfect the water trap escape?"

Ellie: "Well, yeah...But I've only seen mommy and daddy do it, I haven't even practiced using the water trap."

Riley: "But you've seen them do it a thousand times."

Ellie: "That's not the same as knowing how to do it."

Riley: "Quit being a scaredy cat! Aren't you getting sick of just being our parents' assistants? How every time us four have been ask to perform at other animals' birthdays, and only mommy and daddy do the tricks while we're the ones who pose and point? All the kids at those birthdays ever say to us is how spectacular and marvelous Roger and Aleshia are. They only know me for being 'Roger's son,' and you as 'Aleshia's daughter.' And once I tell them I can't do the same tricks as my daddy, they lose all interest in wanting to be my friend, and even getting to know me for who I am. Only a few kids outside our family have ever asked us to show off our tricks, and when we do and we're not as captivating as our parents, the kids are so unimpressed and disappointed with us. They say, 'What a letdown,' or 'We were expecting something cool, not lame.' "

Her brother's words really hit home with Ellie, who recalls all the times they went to birthdays and confirms in her head that everything Riley has said is true. Still blown away with how his own inner pain ties into hers, she can only stammer out, "Yeah...I-I guess you're right."

Riley: "There's only one way we can get out of our parents' shadow: surpass them. And the first step is to be just as good as they are in my hypnosis and your escape artistry."

Now fully onboard with her brother, Ellie bellows out, "You're right! Get me handcuffed and drop me in the water trap!" in determined tenacity.

Riley: "Not until I perform hypnosis on, Kelly, Ro-J, or Reagan; someone of greater capabilities and stronger mind than Sam." (Looks at Sam) "No offense."

Sam: "S'okay."

Kelly: "I volunteer!"

Ro-J: "Hey, no fair! I was gonna volunteer."

Riley: "I'm gonna have her do some intense things, so it's best for you to sit back, relax, and be amazed. But once I'm done with my BC, I'll hypnotize you next, how about that?"

Ro-J: "Sounds great!"

More excited than ever, Reagan says, "How's about I help you get into the water trap, Ellie? Just tell me what to do."

Ellie: "Wow, my own assistant. Come on over!"

Riley: "I'll need absolute quiet to hypnotize Kelly, so hold off until I say so."

Ellie: "Okay, big brother."

Riley props up a nearby preschooler chair and tells Kelly, "Come sit here." When Kelly sits down, Riley begins the hypnosis, not by swinging a ticking pocket watch, but a more meditative method. Kelly follows each step to the letter.

Riley: "Take a deep breath in, and let it out...Now close your eyes...Focus on the black emptiness you are seeing...Think of nothing but that black emptiness...Let it fill your mind as you breathe in...and become one with it as you breathe out...Now, listen to the sound of my voice...follow it into the blackness; the deeper you go, the better you feel. Deep breath in...Deep breath out...Relax yourself in the blackness of your mind; the deeper you go the better you feel...You are at peace with the blackness, you are one with it...My voice is the only thing you hear...The only thing you feel and smell" (Huffs out a breath in Kelly's face) "Tilt your head up...now down...To the left...To the right...Deep breath in, and out...The deeper you go, the better you feel...Now, answer my questions with either yes or no: Is the blackness all you see?"

Kelly speaks in a trancelike tone, "Yes..."

Riley puts his face inches away from Kelly and asks, "Is my voice the only thing you hear, feel, and smell?"

Kelly: "Yes..."

Riley: "Have you gone deeper?"

Kelly: "Yes..."

Riley: "Do you feel better?"

Kelly: "Yes..."

Riley smiles and says, "Stand up..." Kelly does so, prompting Riley to say, "Sit down..." When she is back in her seat, Riley must now ensure she is in a trance to convince himself as much as the audience that she is truly hypnotized (even though the other animals are already astounded). Riley picks up nearby twig and tells Kelly, "You are about to eat a delicious banana...Open your mouth...and chew..." After a few more seconds, Riley asks, "How did the banana taste?"

Kelly: "It was...delicious..."

Riley: "You are still in the blackness, my voice is the only thing you hear, smell, and feel; the deeper you go the better you feel...Open your eyes..."

Everyone is on the edge of their seat since Riley had never asked Sam to open his eyes the time he had been hypnotized. Kelly gives a blank stare, which makes Riley do the last step to ensure she is fully under his sway. "Hold out both paws...What is in your right paw?"

Kelly: "The delicious banana..."

Riley smirks and the audience stares wide-eyed. They almost expected Kelly to have revealed she was just playing along with her biological cousin, but that last bit of seeing a "banana" has disproven that doubt. Riley then says, "Stand on your right hindleg...Put it down...You are still following my voice in the blackness; the deeper you go, the better you feel...Now, imagine that I am pulling on your left ear...It will stretch like bubble gum..."

Riley puts his paw on Kelly's left ear and gives a gently pull with a loose grip that makes him let go. Miraculously, Kelly tilts her head as if her ear is being stretched, even when he's pulling on nothing but air. Riley then says, "I can't stretch anymore," and keeps walking farther away from Kelly, who in turn is moving in whatever direction Riley is "pulling" her. This way and that, in circles, even under a Little Tykes table.

Riley: "Now I'm letting go of your stretchy ear and it will snap back into place hard like a rubber band. In three, two, one."

Two seconds after Riley lets go, Kelly goes, "Ouch!" and puts her paw on her ear as if it was hit by a rubber band. Riley nods at Ellie and Reagan who walk over to the water trap which is a grey keg without any glass and full of water. When her brother looks back at the hypnotized Kelly, Ellie quietly instructs Reagan how to open and close the lid on top of the keg, then asks her to handcuff her behind the back.

While that is going on, Riley maintains his hypnosis on Kelly by following up with, "Breathe in...and out...Focus on the blackness in your mind...My voice is the only thing you hear...The deeper you go, the better you feel...Now, you are about to become the biggest, strongest, and cockiest raccoon in the world and I will be the smallest, weakest, feeblest raccoon in the world that you are going to boss around. This will commence when I snap my finger once. When I give a second snap the roles will be reversed so that you will be the smallest, weakest, feeblest raccoon in the world, and I'll be the biggest, strongest, and cockiest raccoon in the world. In three, two, one..."

At the snap of a finger, Kelly's voice becomes deep and boastful, while her movements show an increase of muscle mass and height despite the fact that she looks the same as always. She looks at Riley, points to him and says, "Hey there, you pipsqueak! Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, insect!" Now strutting toward Riley, Kelly says, "I don't like it when little bitty weaklings like you get in my way! I'm gonna show you a thing or two...Show you how to respect those who are bigger, stronger, and better than you." Kelly leans into Riley's face and shouts out, "That's right, I'm better than you! Better than you in every way. Better than you in every other way! There's no way you can beat me! No way you can ever beat me!"

Just when things are about to get ugly, Riley snaps his fingers again and Kelly's face goes wide-eyed in fear. Riley now speaks deep and acts like his muscles are the size of a bulldozer.

Riley: "Did you dare to insult ME?!"

Kelly falls on the ground and scurries backwards on her forepaws away from the approaching Riley. She fearfully says, "No! NOOOO! I-I-I didn't insult you!" Seeing that Riley isn't backing down, Kelly yelps, "Please! D-d-don't hurt me! I'll do anything you ask!"

Riley's voice goes back to normal when she says, "Listen to my voice in the darkness of your mind. Breathe in...and out...The deeper you go, the better you feel...When I snap my finger, I need you to go back to being the regular Kelly, who is still in the blackness with the sound of my voice being the only thing you hear."

He snaps and Kelly instantly regains her calm demeanor. The whole act is so incredible that Ellie hasn't even jumped in the keg yet, and has been watching the ordeal with Riley and Kelly unfold. Now with all eyes on her, she announces, "I, Ellie, am about to escape from the water trap with my paws handcuffed behind my back. Reagan, my faithful assistant, will set the time locks for two minutes. If I am in trouble, I will give her two taps from inside and she will open the keg. Are all of you ready?" After seeing the audience give her nods or thumbs-ups, Ellie says, "Then away, a-we, GO!" and jumps into the water keg that Reagan seals by taking the lid, putting it on the top, and twisting until there's a click.

Wanting to bring Kelly fully out of the trance, Riley says, "Now Kelly, when I snap my finger you will be—"

A series of quick foot stomps from above indicates that a group of animals is running quickly on the surface. The problem is, the stomps cause the electric lantern—used as the clubhouse's chandelier—to come loose and fall directly on top of the keg. The loud noise is followed by Aaron shouting, "Good golly, King Kong!" on reflex.

Unfortunately, Kelly's hypnotized state takes the squirrel's remark as the answer. She hunches over like a gorilla then rises up to bellow out a deep roar while beating her chest. Ro-J points at her and says, "Oh no! Lookit what we did to her!"

Kelly looks over at Ro-J with the predatory eyes of the most famous ape in history, and gorilla-runs over to Ro-J whom she grabs and raises above her head, letting out another roar. Despite being only two years older than Ro-J, Kelly is two-to-three times stronger as a result of eating well her whole life versus Ro-J's malnourished diet. She is also very tall for a kit her age, with her height already reaching her adult father's chest. Conversely, Ro-J is shorter than the average six-year-old raccoon. All of this means that Kelly pretty much is the eight-year-old raccoon equivalent of King Kong, and Ro-J is the male, six-year-old raccoon equivalent of Ann Darrow.

After feeling her pull his head with one paw and leg with the other, Ro-J yells, "Help me! She's gone nuts!"

Riley: "Kelly! Listen to my voice in the blackness—"

Kelly carries Ro-J under one arm and throws a nearby chair at Riley with her other arm, causing her cousin to dive out of harm's way. If a rampaging, King-Kong-brained raccoon isn't bad enough, Reagan hears two taps from inside the keg. Things go from bad to worse when she tries to open the lid, only to discover two of the four locks have been warped by the lantern's fall, effectively preventing anyone from opening the keg without a tool!

Reagan: "The locks're busted! I need help or Ellie's gonna drown!"

Hammy: "Aaron, go get help for Ellie! Sam and I will stay here to help Kelly and Ro-J!"

Aaron says, "On it, dad!" while saluting and then zooms out of the clubhouse.

Riley gives a second attempt to bring Kelly out of her King-Kong-state by saying, "Kelly. When I snap my finger you'll—" Kelly starts climbing out of the clubhouse, which causes Riley to frantically say "—be back to normal!" But by the time he snaps his finger, she is already back on the surface and gives another primal roar. It's followed by Ro-J's panicked scream, which causes Riley to enter his own mind full of self-loathing. "Smooth move, Mr. I-Wanna-Be-Better-Than-My-Parents! You just couldn't be satisfied with your first-world problem annoyance of not being as good as your mommy and daddy! There's a reason pride is considered the worst of the deadly sins! You just had to push your own little sister to try something neither of you were ready for, and looks where it's got you, her, and all those who came to watch! Your selfish ego-measuring contest has caused a full-blown disaster!"

Riley is brought out of his regret when Hammy shakes him and says, "Riley! Go after Kelly! We've all seen King Kong and know what he does to the pretty lady at the top of the building!"

Sam: "But no airplanes here!"

Riley's face brightens up at what Sam just said, then tells him, "Sam, you're a genius! I'm gonna need your help! Grab the toy planes and follow me!"

Riley neither waits for Sam to confirm it, nor looks back to see if Sam is over at the clubhouse's toy plane shelf, the young raccoon simply bolts out of the underground clubhouse as fast as his legs can carry him. When he reaches the surface, he sees Kelly still has a hard grip on Ro-J as she climbs up a tree. Riley tries one more time to get the real Kelly back. "Kelly! Listen to my voice, which is the only thing you can hear from the blackness of your mind! When I snap my finger, you'll be back to normal!"

His snap is loud and does register in Kelly's ears—but has no effect! Riley mentally kicks himself for forgetting that she has to be in a relaxed meditative state of mind for it to work...and so does he. But with everything that's going out of control, he can't be calm himself. Fortunately, Sam shows up carrying several remote-controlled toy planes. One is a passenger jet, another is an F-16, a third is a P-51 Mustang, a fourth is a Mitsubishi Zero, and a fifth is a B-2 stealth bomber. Without thinking, the pair grab the remote controllers and start flying their planes—Sam with the passenger jet and Riley with the Mustang—to serve as distractions to keep Kelly from throwing Ro-J to his death.

When Aaron arrives back with Roger, Aleshia, Mary, Elroy, Bernard, Patricia, RJ, Verne, Luby, Rick, Bucky, Emily, Tyler, and Grace, the scene in front of them is a spot-on match with the climax of the King Kong movie. The only difference is the tall trees of the forest replace the skyscrapers of New York City.

Tyler: "Aaron told us what happened, and we came up with a plan! Leave the rest to us!"

Riley: "Okay Uncle Ty! But someone needs to take control of the other planes so King-Kong-Kelly doesn't hurt Ro-J!"

RJ: "Don't you mean, Queen-Kong Kelly? She is a girl."

Everyone gives RJ a harsh look that indicates this is NOT a time for jokes of technicality. RJ immediately gets his head back in the game when he says, "Right. Let's save the kids!"

RJ, Verne, and Luby see the three unused aircraft, grab a controller and take their planes to the air. Rick, Emily, Bernard, and Mary remain close by and start setting up something they have brought, while the others head into the underground clubhouse. Roger and Aleshia are the first to reach the sealed keg, and shout their daughter's name.

Roger and Aleshia in unison: "Ellie! Mom and dad are here!"

Roger: "We're gonna get you out!"

Aleshia: "But it'll be dangerous unless you follow our every step!"

Roger: "Tap once to let us know if you can hear us!"

The keg is tapped from the inside, making the worried raccoon parents breathe out a sigh of relief that their daughter hasn't drowned yet.

Aleshia: "Thank goodness!"

Roger: "We've been informed about the warped locks, so Uncle Bucky and Elroy are gonna break open the top with hatchets!

Elroy: "You need to get as flat on the bottom as possible, NOW!"

Bucky: "One, two, three, I'm swinging!"

Bucky swings downward then pulls his hatchet out of the way for Elroy to follow immediately with his down swing. The two mammals take turns, making the whole underground clubhouse echo from their drumming on the keg. But with one more swing from each, the locks are destroyed and Patricia and Rick open it up. They expect Ellie to come up gasping for air, but when she doesn't, it can only mean she is drowning!

Reagan: "Knock the keg over!"

To her surprise, no one does that. Instead, Roger and Aleshia reach into the keg and pull out the unconscious Ellie who isn't breathing. Roger lays her down on the clubhouse floor and starts doing CPR. All the other adults then grab the keg and start hauling it up the steps that will lead to the surface.

Aleshia then answers Reagan with, "We didn't knock it over because we need the water to break Kelly out of her hypnosis. Go and help them!"

Reagan looks at the stairs, then at Roger still performing CPR, and says, "No. I'm staying here with you and my friend!"

Aleshia: "Thanks. I'm sure she'll be so happy to see you if—um, when—we save her."

As if on cue, Ellie coughs up water and starts gulping down life-giving oxygen again.

Aleshia: "YEEEE-EEEEESSS! I knew it would work!"

Roger: "Me too! Oh, Ellie, thank Mother Nature you're alright!"

The two parents embrace their daughter who oddly pushes them lightly as a way to let them know to end the hug. Ellie is bothered with something so much that she asks her parents something most kids in her situation never would. "You're not angry that I almost got killed using your magic water tank without your permission?"

Roger: "The scolding, grounding, and punishment can wait until later."

Aleshia: "Once you're ready, we need to get topside and help our family save your BC and Ro-J. And before I forget, look who stayed by your side during your whole ordeal..."

Ellie follows her mom's pointer finger to find Reagan waving at her with a smile. Ellie smiles back and asks, "So it was your voice I heard from outside the water tank telling me to stay strong and that help was on the way?"

Reagan: "Someone had to make sure you didn't panic. I know what it's like to be abandoned when I most needed a friend to protect me from my ex-parents."

Ellie runs up to Reagan and hugs her tight. It doesn't matter that the nine-year-old is still soaking wet, it's one of the best feelings Reagan has ever had from a kid close to her age.

Ellie: "Thank you so much! You're my new favorite cousin, Reagan!"

Reagan: "Wouldn't we just be BFFs? I mean, 'cuz we're not technically related..."

Roger: "You've heard it before, you'll hear it again. Family has nothing to do with blood. It's the love we give each other."

Reagan still seems unconvinced, but everyone's mind and body are ready for action when Ellie says, "Speaking of family, I'm ready to go up and help out everyone else."

Reagan: "Oh my gosh, I forgot about my own brother! I'm a terrible sister! I shouldn't have wasted my time staying down here!"

Ellie gasps in disgust and demands, "REAGAN! How could you say that?!"

But by the time the words have left Ellie's mouth, Reagan is already at ground level. Aleshia puts her paw on Ellie's shoulder and reassuringly tells her, "She didn't mean it, Ellie. She's just scared for her little brother."

Ellie still looks flustered by the insensitive comments, but Roger puts an end to those feelings when he says, "Let's all go help them out."

Once the three are on the surface all the shouting, panicked voices, buzzing from six remote-controlled planes flying around the bellowing Queen-Kong-Kelly, and Ro-J's helpless screams make the situation look like a warzone instead of a movie scene. The planes are certainly keeping Kelly busy, leaving her no time to throw Ro-J, but each missed swat seems to be making her angrier. The adults are well aware of this, and also know that enough frustration will make Queen-Kong-Kelly want to vent her rage on the easiest target she is still holding in a head lock under her arm. That is why they only make their planes swoop toward her when it seems she is about to do something to Ro-J, letting the toys' sounds do most of the work, instead of coming at her constantly.

But Reagan sees something different going on, and it isn't something she likes. In her panic, she spits out, "You idiots! Why're you keeping your distance with those planes?! You're not even trying to save Ro-J!"

She approaches RJ without thinking, snatches his remote controller, and makes the stealth bomber come straight for Kelly. The toy's wingtip hits her on the head and flies off before she can retaliate. Reagan then makes the B-2 come back for another ram-run, and its wingtip hits the arm that's holding Ro-J.

Sam approaches Reagan and puts a paw on her shoulder as he frantically tries to inform her, "Reagan! No! You make her angry, she gonna—!"

Reagan punches Sam's paw and yells, "Shut up, I'm actually doing something smart, unlike you and everyone else, you RETARD!"

Everyone gasps and turns their head in Reagan's direction. Patricia then runs up and slaps her adopted daughter in the face, causing Reagan to drop the remote control as she falls to the ground. Reagan's post-traumatic stress disorder—wrought out by the face slap—makes her hallucinate that her biological mother, Monica is approaching her. She blinks and confirms that it's just Patricia, but that only makes the kit more baffled. Reagan asks in a shock-induced voice, "Mama Pat? Y-you just hit me..."

When Reagan blinks again, she sees Monica coming, and tries to crawl away on her belly like a worm. Patricia doesn't hesitate and grabs Reagan by the tail and proceeds to spank her, shouting out the reason between every hit that occurs every second.

Patricia: "This is what you get for calling Sam one of the ugliest insults ever created, and all us of 'idiots'!" Pauses from her spanking to catch her breath for three seconds, then spanks her one more time as she says, "Now go over to Rick and sit in time-out!"

Reagan loudly sobs as she scurries over to Rick. Her mind keeps woefully telling her, "I made a mistake! This 'family' is just like Robbie and Monica!" She's too wrapped up in her ill thoughts to notice that her actions with the stealth bomber toy have indeed angered Kelly who lets out a guttural roar and, as the adults feared, lifts up Ro-J above her head ready to toss him down.

The only silver lining is that Mary had anticipated this as soon as she noticed Reagan take the plane controls out of RJ's paws, and while Sam had spoken to the kit, she had looked over to her brother and said, "We gotta do it now, Bernard!"

Bernard had gulped and stuttered out a fearful, "O-o-k-k-k-k-kay...", but stepped up to the figurative batting plate without pause.

It turns out that Bernard, Mary, Rick, and Emily had brought and set up a backyard slingshot that can launch objects as big as a soccer ball. Emily and Bucky are the strongest among the current hedgies and pull back the elastic band once Bernard steps into the leather pad.

Judging the pull distance to be strong enough, Bucky looks over to Emily who nods to indicate she thinks so too. He says, "One, two, three!" and the pair let go, launching Bernard into the air and toward the tree branch where Kelly and Ro-J are.

While flying through the air for what feels like an eternity, Bernard yells, "IIIIIIIIIIII HHHAAAAAAAATE HEIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTS!" in annoyance more than fear.

The spectators hold their breath and their hearts seem to stop beating once they realize Bernard had been undershot, as gravity is beginning to take his body down below the intended tree branch. But the opossacoon's adrenaline and survival instinct gives him razor-sharp focus on how to solve this problem. He raises his bushy, prehensile tail as high as he can and tightens it as it grips the tree branch. He does three full rotations before slowing down enough to grip the branch with his four paws, and praises Mother Nature that when he stops, he is on the top of the branch instead of hanging from it upside down. Still, he pants as his most unwelcomed, long-time companions named acrophobia and basophobia start kicking in. But he doesn't need anyone to pep-talk him to overcome it this time. He does it on his own, motivated by the love of his adopted son who is depending on him for his life.

With the reasons of why he was chosen to be launched into the tree filling up his mind, Bernard starts doing what he does best.

In a stereotypical nerd voice, Bernard shouts, "Oh! OH NO! I-I'm so high up! TOO HIGH! Someone SAVE ME! I-I-I'm scared of heights! Too SCARED!" He grovels cowardly backward while continuing with, "Why am I still so spineless!? I'm a worthless worm, who will never, EVER, get over his childish fears! Woe is me, I'm a disgrace to two species that are great climbers! A disgrace to my raccoon dad and opossum mom! A pitiful excuse of a male! I'm better off dead!"

During his speech, Kelly slowly lowers Ro-J and tilts her head in predatory intrigue in the cowering opossacoon who doesn't seem to notice he is coming ever so closer to the ape-minded brute. Bernard now speaks in the undefinable accent of a hammy over/under actor from one of the worst movies of all time. "I am fed up with this world! Why LISA!? Why? WHy? WHHHHYYYYYYYYY?!" His voice returns to his normal, albeit petrified, tone as he stammers, "I-I-I can't even move! I WON'T move! I'm not going anymore! Not one—More—STEP!" He sobs loudly and follows it up with, "I want my mommy-hee-hee-heee-eeeee!"

Queen-Kong-Kelly looks at Ro-J, then at the pathetic Bernard, and then back at Ro-J. She shakes her head no, casually puts the kit down on the branch, and then hunches her ways over to a far more helpless victim in distress. He is such a 'fraidy baby' that she could bench-press two of him easily. As Ro-J starts climbing down from the tree, Bernard turns around and his eyes start watering. He whimper-begs Kelly, "N-no! P-please! Don't hurt me! Not ME! I -I-I ch-changed my mind! I wanna live! Let me live! PLEE-EASE!"

Bernard covers his face with his paws and cries as Kelly reaches out to grab him. Contrary to popular belief, begging for your life is one of the most ineffective ways to steady an attacker's hand. All it does is empower the attacker, knowing that s/he has someone's life in his/her hands to do with as s/he pleases. Queen-Kong-Kelly feels exactly that kind of power coursing through her muscles. She now grabs Bernard and lifts up—

—But he doesn't budge, to which Bernard smirks and says, "Gotcha."

Queen-Kong-Kelly gives a confused "Ugh...?" while tilting her head. Bernard then uses his superior size and strength to grab Kelly and hoist her over his head. He is able to keep both her feet and forepaws from squirming free with only one of his forepaws each, all while she roars in rage and confusion. He shouts to be heard over her gorilla sounds when he asks, "Y'all ready down there?"

Mary, Ty, and Grace in unison: "Ready!"

"Then bombs away!" says Bernard as he lets Kelly go. She lets out another guttural and primal roar all the way down and lands perfectly in the water keg, which had been filled with ice while Bernard had been using his acting talents—and yes, genuine fear of heights and falling—to distract the hypnotized Kelly. The instant before hitting the iced water keg, Kelly believed she was King Kong. The instant after she hits the iced water keg, she is back to her normal self.

Kelly: "HOLY COW, this is COLD! Crud, crud, CRUD!"

Her parents quickly pull her out and before they can even express their relief, Kelly asks, "W-wait, what're you doing here, mommy and daddy?" She looks around and notices the other hedgies and ask, "What are all of you doing here? Why am I outside the clubhouse instead of in it? How did I get in ice water? The last thing I remembered was hearing to Riley's voice to go deeper into the blackness."

Tyler: "It's a long story, but we'll tell it after we dry you off and get your warm."

Grace: "And we're so thankful you're not hurt! We love you baby!"

Tyler wraps a dry towel around his daughter and both he and his mate rub their paws quickly—after all raccoons' habit of washing things means they are quick with their paws, which is useful for other reasons besides food cleanliness. Once they get Kelly dry, they hug her tightly to share body heat and to comfort her, kissing her like crazy the whole time. But in their minds Ty and Grace are cursing Roger and Aleshia for being magic enthusiasts since teaching Riley and Ellie almost got their precious Kelly killed, and not to mention Kelly could have killed Ro-J. But the couple keep their ill words in their heads where they belong because now is not the time for scolding. Surprisingly, it's Roger and Aleshia who do the latter.

In a voice that is clearly a command and not a request, Roger says, "Kids, let's go into the woods."

Riley and Ellie in unison: "What for—?"

"Now," says Roger and Aleshia with steel lining their words.

Knowing what their parents intend to do with them, Riley and Ellie gulp but don't resistance. To further add to their feeling of dread, the other family members start heading back home, no doubt to put some distance between themselves and the magic family. Once Roger and Aleshia estimate the others are out of hearing range, they begin.

Roger: "First question: Elinore, did your mom and I give you permission to steal the water trap?"

Ellie: "No sir."

Roger: "Exactly!"

Aleshia: "Second question: Riley, was it a good idea to hypnotize Kelly into thinking she was King Kong?"

Riley: "I didn't do that, honest! Cousin Aaron blurted it out by accident right before I told her to get back to normal."

Aleshia: "Accident or not, by hypnotizing someone in a way untested, you could've killed Kelly, and she could have hurt or killed Ro-J!"

Roger: "And Elinore, you almost killed yourself in the water trap! How could you do something so...so...STUPID?!" (1)

Elinore: "I-I'm sorry daddy. I-I-I thought—" (1)

Roger: "You didn't think at all! We've been telling you kids to stick to the basics and the rest will come with time and patience! But today, you two—Ugh! I gotta go calm down before I say or do something I regret!" (1)

Roger stomps away to go cool off, his words and actions making his kits' hearts sink with how true and justified his anger is with them. Like most mom's, Aleshia serves as the strict, yet more level-headed one in this family argument when she says, "Your dad and I didn't become experts overnight. It took years of training and practice for us to become great at magic tricks. If you rush things it can have serious, sometimes fatal, consequences."

Riley: "We know, mommy. You and daddy have told us this many times before."

Roger comes back and, having overheard what his son just said, asks, "Then why in the name of Mother Nature did you kids do what you did?!"

Riley: "Because we're sick of living in your shadows! You and mommy impress every animal with your great magic tricks while Ellie and I are just standing there helping you hold a curtain, move props, or worse, do low-key magic tricks that aren't nearly as impressive as yours! If you had taught us how to do better magic tricks, we wouldn't have done this today!"

Roger grabs Riley by the collar of his fur and brings his son's face inches away from his own. The father glares at Riley and says, "Don't you dare blame your mom and me for your foolish mistakes!"

Riley: "Y-y-y-es, s-s-s-ir, da-daddy..."

Roger puts Riley down and nods at Aleshia who says, "As punishment for your reckless behavior: no TV, no internet, and no friends or family members over to play with you for four days."

Ellie: "But how're we supposed to pass the time without TV or internet?"

Roger: "By reading, playing with each other like a good brother and sister, or practicing magic tricks, but you can only do the tricks if you mom and I are around to supervise."

Riley: "But dad—!"

Ellie: "And mom—!"

Aleshia: "Do you want those few privileges taken away too?"

Riley and Ellie lower their heads and say, "No ma'am," in defeat.

Aleshia: "Didn't think so. Now let's head home."

The trip might as well be "The Walk of Shame" because that's all Riley and Ellie feel as they walk back to the log.

Note: I would like to give a big thanks to TheIceAgeMan77342 for suggesting Riley and Ellie trying to do their own magic show for the younger members of the Hedgies only for things to go haywire and their parents come in to stop the chaos.

(1)=Based on The Raccoons Episode "The Great Escape," copyright by Kevin Gillis and Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

---

The next four days pass by agonizingly slow for Riley and Ellie, even with the plethora of reading material the family has obtained on their countless past heists. Without enough distractions like TV and internet to keep their minds occupied, it only leaves them with more time to brood in frustration. They were in no mood to practice their magic tricks during that four days punishment, and oddly still are not after their punishment is over. Riley and Ellie are currently in the underground clubhouse, which has become their go-to place to mope in privacy behind a closed door that keeps the other family members out. The latter consists of Reagan, Ro-J, Bernard, Patricia, Mary, Elroy, Tim, Zeke, and Mira.

Mary: "C'mon Riley and Ellie, you can't stay in there forever. It's time to come on out and play with your family."

Elroy: "Be good cousins. Tim, Zeke, and Mira really want to see you do some magic tricks." (Thinking): "C'mon...I need someone to give me a break from them!"

Riley: "We're not leaving until our parents come by to apologize for how unfair they treated us!"

Ellie: "I didn't even feel inferior to them until Riley made me."

Riley: "They were too mean to us! If I have kits, I'll never be too hard on them."

Reagan: "You would if you loved them...That's what mama Pat told me when I asked her why she spanked me after we got home from saving Ro-J. She made me realize that what I called Sam was ugly and extremely hurtful. She hit me as discipline, not abuse like I originally thought. She said if she didn't punish me for it now, I'll be punished by others later for saying things like that."

Mary: Reagan's right. All parents punish their kids because we're looking out to protect you from yourselves because kids often don't know what's best for them."

Ellie: "You sound just like mommy and daddy!"

Mary: "Think of it like researching for a project. The more times you hear the same thing from different and multiple sources, the truer it usually is."

Note: "The following is based again on The Raccoons Episode "The Great Escape" copyright by Kevin Gillis and Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

Bernard: "C'mon Riley and Ellie. Put on a good show for your new cousins."

Riley: "We told you we aren't coming out!"

Ellie: "Now get going! Mommy and daddy can teach them today!"

Riley: "Make that every day because we're through with magic!

The siblings are so upset they don't even notice the scent of their parents, or how they are directly outside the clubhouse door until Roger gently says, "It's me and Aleshia, kids."

Aleshia: "Can we come in?"

Riley sighs and says, "There's nothing stopping you but a closed door..."

Before anyone can ask why Riley's tone has suddenly changed from defiance to acceptance, Ellie gives the answer by saying, "But you two could just use your magic to appear inside with us..." in the same tone as her brother.

Riley and Aleshia open the door and enter inside. Their kits' heads are hung low in shame. Upon seeing this, and knowing the reasons for the young ones' bad moods, Roger asks, "Giving up on magic already, kids?"

Riley: "Yeah..."

Ellie: "We guess so..."

Aleshia: "You didn't give the next level of tricks much of a chance."

Ellie snaps back with, "Sure we did!" Then glumly says, "But...when I was caught in the water trap..."

Riley: "And when I lost control of Kelly with my hypnotism..."

Ellie: "We knew we couldn't do the impossible..."

Riley: "Which is being as good as you two..."

Roger: "Nothing is impossible, kids."

Aleshia: "If you believe you can do it."

Ellie: "Well, there's a big difference between believing you can do something..."

Riley: "And really doing it."

Even as their kids brooded, Roger and Aleshia are already in the process of doing their kids' favorite, and most-asked-to teach-them, magic trick. The adults have their right paws together under a red handkerchief and use their left paws to pull the handkerchief up—

Roger and Aleshia in unison: "Ah, what's this?!"

—Revealing a black golf ball in each of their paws. They hit them on the table to demonstrate the solidness and weight.

Aleshia: "Think fast!"

The parents toss their golf balls at their kits' faces. The instant before the balls hit, they poof into mist, causing no damage whatsoever to the kits.

Roger: "Did you believe we just did that?"

Riley: "W-w-well, I saw it..."

Ellie: "So I-I...Guess that, yeah."

Riley: "We believe it."

Aleshia says in a serious tone, "Then you can do it too!" while pointing two fingers at her kids.

Roger: "And we'll show you how."

Aleshia: "But you must promise to never reveal how the trick is done."

Roger: "Keep this between us. Two magicians to two others."

Aleshia: "Or rather, father to son, and mother to daughter."

Ellie: "But you and daddy always say 'magicians never reveal their tricks.' "

Roger: "We are your dad and mom first..."

Aleshia: "And magicians second."

Outside, the eavesdroppers smile and close the door so no one will peek. Instead, they listen carefully and try to imagine in their minds what's going on.

Ellie's voice: "Okay! I promise!"

Riley's voice: "I promise too!"

Roger's voice: "Good. Now..."

Aleshia's voice: "Let's do..."

Roger and Aleshia in unison: "The impossible."

The listeners are on the edge of their nonexistent seats for 15 long seconds. They hear the sounds of handkerchiefs being moved, of golf balls hitting the table, and a grunt as the balls are thrown, and then small explosion sounds as they poof.

Roger's voice: "I—!"

Ellie's voice: "We!—"

Roger and Ellie in unison: "We did it! We really did it!"

Roger and Aleshia in unison: "That's magic."

Ellie: "Thanks mommy and daddy!"

Roger: "Yeah! I'm sorry for being mad at you two."

Aleshia: "Like Reagan and Mary said, parents need to punish their kids and be hard on them from time to time because we're looking out for you. The chief reason being that we love you."

Riley: "Let's go outside right now and show our cousins our newest magic trick!"

Roger: "Even better, Melvin's birthday is today, and we've been asked by Mark and Leslie to provide some entertainment."

Aleshia: "Let's get your magic kits ready for travel so you can show all the kids and adults there your newest trick."

The kits almost hit Ro-J and Bernard in the face when the clubhouse door flies open, and almost trample on Tim, Zeke, and Mira when they run out.

Reagan: "Hey! Aren't you gonna show us the magic trick first?"

But Riley and Ellie are too far away to hear, their excitement making them more energetic than usual. Roger and Aleshia walk out with big grins, with Roger saying, "You'll see them do it at the birthday party. We're all invited of course."

Mary: "When is it?"

Aleshia: "At two in the afternoon."

Mary: "Oh man, that's our kids' nap time. And they need it or else they'll be harder to handle than they already are. And we need a break from our kids."

Elroy: "How about we let RJ and Heather watch over them while we're gone?"

Mary: "Sounds great." (Snarky) "Don't you just love being a part of a large family? It means there's plenty of animals to help us out with the joeys."

Elory: "Your family, yes. My family was a whole different ballgame. (Snarky) "And it sounded to me like you just said you're getting tired of the kids."

Mary: "I said it before, I'll say it again: you're not the only one who they are wearing out. And this is probably the first time since the heist that we have some time to be with each other. So let's make it count."

Elory: "Sure thing, Mary."

The family walks back to drop off the joeys, gather what they need to bring to the party, and head that way.

Everyone but RJ, Heather, the joeys, and Simon and Celine (who need their own nap) comes to Melvin's birthday, which makes singing the Happy Birthday song a very loud but more celebratory experience for Melvin who is now 11-years-old. Spike and Emma bring out the birthday cake that has been fully thawed from the hedgies' freezer. Given the hedgies' family size, it's a wedding cake.

Having not participated in the heist where the family obtained the cake, the wolves sigh upon smelling what flavor it is.

Boxer: "Why'd it have ta be a chocolate cake?"

Percie: "You know's we can't eat dat. We're canines."

Roaster: "It won't kill us, but I'll make us very sick."

Clara: "Like you said, Percie, we're canines. We're not supposed to eat any kinda sweets. We's eat meat."

Kale: "Which, tanks to ya's ever-so-thoughtful family, they brought here for us."

Clara: "So stop ya's complainin', kids, and enjoy ya'selves."

Boxer, Percie, and Roaster in unison: "Sí—um, yes—mom."

Mark: "The cake is big, but I hope it's big enough for everyone to get a piece."

Tyler: "No worries, Mark. Before grabbing this cake, I factored in how many animals were in our family, with the possibility of additional guests."

Grace: "What my mate means is that there will be enough for everyone here and perhaps some to save for leftovers."

Christine drops her retractable cane and says, "Then in that case..." She pops her finger-claws, uses her senses to locate the nearest piece of cut cake, and starts nomming it down like a pig. Everyone stares at her, even the other bats. Christine then stops to ask, "Why's everybody gotten so quiet?" with her mouth full, which makes her words really come out like "Why'ffff effrybody gothen tho quiet?"

Scarlet: "Um, you are chewing your food, aren't you?"

Christine gulps down the food in her mouth and says, "Hey, don't judge me. This is the first artificially sugared food I've had in one month."

Marylin: "You don't wanna put back on all the weight you've lost, Christine. So if I were you, I'd slow down and savor it."

Claire: "That way you can enjoy every bite, and not want to get more. Right Bert?"

Bert points a finger/claw up and opens his mouth to say something, but the mere thought of all the partygoers eyes on him makes him close his mouth, put his finger/claw down, and hum "Mm," while shaking his head yes. He then proceeds to use his wing to shield himself like a vampire would from sunlight using a cape.

Claire takes his finger-claws into her own and gently pulls his wing down. She then puts her other finger-claws to his cheek and comfortingly says, "It's okay, Bert. I'm here for you."

She leans in and kisses him on the lips. He regains confidence instantly and stands up tall—only after Claire's grip on his finger-claws tighten. Finally, Bert says, "Yes. Slow and steady eating fills up your stomach better than eating too fast. You'll be hungry again sooner if you scarf down your food."

Christine: "Phooey to all of you. I'll work it off by doing extra exercises with my mate and pup."

Mordecai: "Even as a fitness fanatic, I admit it's okay to splurge every once in a while. Just eat a little more civilly, alright, baby?"

Dexter: "Heh-heh, mommy eats sweets like me when I was two!"

Kylie: "Besides we're animals, we don't need any table manners. That's a human thing."

Owen: "But even animals should know not to eat too fast because it can cause us to choke."

Christine: "Alright. I'll keep my sweet tooth in check and eat slower, so I won't die of boredom from your conversations."

Once everyone has a piece of cake, Melvin walks over to Lucas asks the bat, "So you wanna have another flying race with me?"

Lucas: "I keep telling you, Melvin, unlike bats, flying squirrels are not capable of power flight. You can only glide."

Melvin: "Nonsense, my older cousin Victor plays the Batman: Arkham games. In those, Batman can dive and then pull up to gain more altitude. So technically that means it's flying. I've been practicing like that and have mastered it."

Lucas: "Then show me what you've got!"

The two climb a nearby tree and after counting off "1-2-3!", they leap forward, extend both patagiums and wings and have a race. Lucas uses selective hearing to ignore the cheers below so he can use his hearing to aid his flight path. Ironically, Melvin, the one with working eyes, focuses more on diving and pulling up than watching where he is going. He's about to go into a straight dive when he almost collides into a tree. He turns to avoid it, but also loses his sense of balance and stability. This causes him to frantically open and close his patagium to slow himself down while also regain equilibrium. When he lands softly on the ground Lucas has traveled 50 feet further. The young bat circles around a tree and comes back to land where the disappointed Melvin is.

Melvin: "Ma-an! If I had paid more attention..."

Lucas: "Even if you did, you can't forget that I have actual wings." (Holds his up in all their glory) "Those are more aerodynamic than a patagium, which is basically a parachute from what I've been told."

Melvin: "Just you wait. One day I will beat you and prove to the whole forest that flying squirrels can fly faster than bats!"

Lucas puts a hand-claw on Melvin's shoulder and says, "Keep up the practice, and maybe you'll catch up to me. But you're never, ever gonna beat me!"

Melvin: "I'll make you eat those words. Just you wait, blindy."

The two laugh in each other's faces and then hug, reminding the onlookers how great a friendship is. Melvin is Lucas's best friend, and vice versa. Not only are the rodent and chiroptera similar in age, but they are two mammals capable of flight, which made them develop a kindred connection upon their first meeting. When they were younger, they took to the air together as a team, which became a friendly competition as they got older. No matter how much they age or how true Lucas's arguments are, Melvin never gives up and will go to drastic measures to prove a point.

With the race over and everyone back on the ground, Roger and Aleshia believe the time is right for their show. Having already set up a curtain (colored purple with yellow stars) in between two trees, Roger loudly clears his throat with "EH-HEM!" to get the animals' attention. But by the time everyone turns around to look in his direction, he and his family are nowhere in sight. Then, with a puff of purple smoke, all four appear in front of the curtain, each with a paw raised majestically in the air.

Ty sighs and mentions to his mate, "They do know how to make an entrance," in a tone of genuine admittance. Grace nods too, and then she and Ty focus on the show.

Roger: "Come one, come all...!"

Aleshia: "To see the Fabulous Four...!"

Riley: "Raccoons of Magic...!"

Ellie: "And Illusions!"

Ike leans to whisper into Drake's ear, "They were gonna go with the Fantastic Four, but that was already taken."

Drake nods his head while letting out a chuckle.

Roger takes off his magician hat to give a bow, and four colorful balloons float out of it and up into the sky.

Aleshia says, "You will be amazed!" as she takes out a piece of looseleaf paper, crumples it with both paws, and when she opens them up two birds fly out.

Roger says, "You will be dazzled!" as fireworks and confetti shoot from his fingertips.

Riley says, "But most of all..." as he turns to grab his tail. When he faces the audience, he is suddenly wearing a monocle and black cape and pulls out a pair of chattering joke teeth from his ear.

Ellie says, "You will believe that magic is real!" as she twirls quickly. When she stops, she is suddenly wearing a tutu that's colored black on the outside and white on the inside.

Aleshia snaps her fingers and produces a bouquet of flowers in her paw from thin air. She then tosses it forward and it's caught by Leslie/Lee. Aleshia then clears her throat and announces, "There will be a slight change in today's birthday magic show."

Roger: "For you see, our kids will be showing all of you their capabilities. So Riley and Ellie, do your thing."

Riley and Ellie step forward, not nervous even in the slightest. Riley looks at his sister, and after nodding back at him, he says, "For our first magic trick, Ellie will be tied with chains..." Aleshia comes carrying chains. "...And have to escape from inside a locked chest." Roger comes in carrying a small treasure chest that he opens after setting it down.

Aleshia starts tying the chains around her daughter. Once done, she lifts her small hat and beneath it is a lock. She attaches it in a way where the audience can clearly see the lock which she clips shut. Aleshia says, "As you can clearly see, Ellie is chained securely. Here is the key." She holds it up, closes her fist, and opens it again to reveal the key has disappeared.

Roger picks up Ellie and places her inside the box, then takes out second lock and says, "This is opened with a combination instead of a key. And only I know the combination." He places the lock on the chest latch and snaps it closed.

Riley gets out an egg timer and sets it for one minute. When the ticking begins, he says, "And now, we must ask for complete silence and that no photography takes place as my sister demonstrates her outstanding ability of escape artistry."

The clock keeps ticking and nothing happens, but everyone is holding onto their sides in anticipation. Their eyes and attention are so fixated on the chest that they jump from surprise when the egg timer goes off. But there is no sign of Ellie.

Aaron: "Is she okay?!"

Kelly: "This better not turn into a repeat of what happened four days ago!"

Roger turns the dials on the lock's combination, snaps it open, and opens the chest. He then tips it over to reveal nothing is inside of it. Everyone gasps in shock, then gasps in wonder when Ellie emerges from behind the chest with the chains no longer around her body.

Ellie says, "All too easy for an escape artist like me," while using a nail file on her claws.

Sam: "Hooray for Ellie!"

The others cheer as well. Ellie takes a bow and after the noise subsides, she looks at Riley who nods at her which makes her say, "For our next trick, my big brother Riley will require a volunteer from our audience who is short in height and light in weight to hypnotize."

The red squirrels, flying squirrels, bats, and small raccoons raise their paws and claws high, and Riley finds the perfect one needed to pull off his trick. "May the birthday boy come forward."

Melvin smiles and giddily rushes up next to Riley. The raccoon takes off his cape, places it on his paw, then pulls it up and in his paw is a metronome.

Riley: "Shall you take a seat, Melvin."

Melvin: "Okay Riley."

Aleshia comes up carrying a circular piece of wood that had been cut off from a thick tree branch that Melvin promptly sits on. Riley faces the crowd and says, "Like before, I must ask that everyone remains silent and refrains from taking photographs because this trick will require my volunteer to stare only at the light I will provide him. And as hard as it will be, you must also not clap or cheer. Are you ready, Melvin?"

Melvin: "Ready-Freddie!"

Riley grins and says, "Then let us begin." He pulls the metronome's pendulum to one side and lets it swing back and forth. Each time the pendulum passes through the middle, a bright light flashes. "Melvin, keep your eyes on the light, free your mind of all else, and just focus on the flashing light. Even when I give you more instructions, all you will focus on is the flashing light. Understand?"

Melvin: "Yes."

Riley: "Then look at the flashing light...Stare deeply at it as if you are in deep thought...Now stare into the light...See it's brightness, feel its radiance coursing through your mind and body..." Ten seconds later, when Melvin is giving a dead-eyed stare, Riley asks, "Melvin, what do you see?"

Melvin: "I see the bright light..."

Riley: "What do you feel?"

Melvin: "I feel the light's radiance...coursing through my mind and body..."

Riley nods, correctly assuming that the hypnosis is working. He chose to do it this way verses the meditative trance he had induced on Kelly because the latter had put her too deeply into his hypnotic trance, causing the disaster to happen. Using the metronome with a light takes less time to put the volunteer under his spell, but the effects of the hypnosis won't last as long. Fortunately, it will also be easier to bring him out of the trance when it's time. Armed with that reassuring knowledge, Riley tells Melvin, "Keep staring into the light." Ten second later, he says, "Now, raise you left arm up." Melvin does so. "Put it down." Melvin obeys. "Stand up...Now do a hand stand."

Mark wants to say that Melvin has never even tried doing a handstand before, but keeps quiet so he doesn't ruin the trick, and because he, like the rest of the audience, seems to be in a trance too because they can't take their eyes off the stage. And sure enough, Melvin performs a handstand. Hammy, Sam, and Aaron almost break out in cheers and claps, until Scarlet whispers, "No noise!" which steadies their paws.

Riley then says, "Now lie down on your seat, back-first." Melvin lies down so that he is staring up into the sky. "Be honest: can flying squirrels actually fly?"

Melvin: "No...we can only glide..."

Riley: "Right. And can you float up into the air?"

Melvin: "No animal can do that..."

Riley: "Until now..."

Riley puts his paws over Melvin and wiggles his fingers, causing the flying squirrel to hover two inches in the air. The audience puts their paws over their mouths to muffle their gasps. If the mere levitation wasn't enough, Riley then waves his paws upward and Melvin starts gaining height, floating higher like a balloon. He goes up two full feet before Riley waves his paws downward to make Melvin slowly come back down. When he is back on the seat, Riley says, "When I snap my fingers you will wake up and be back to your normal self."

Melvin: "O...kay..."

Riley snaps and with a blink, Melvin shakes his head and props himself up. "Wh-what happened? Is the magic trick over?" he asks.

Riley glances at the onlookers to say, "You can cheer now," to which they immediately erupt in celebration.

Mark and Lee run up first, with Mark saying, "You did a handstand and floated up into the air, son!"

Melvin: "I did? But that's impossible."

Lee: "I thought so too, but I saw it with my own two eyes!"

Mark: "I used to think magic was all smoke and mirrors, but none of those happened here, so it must be real!"

Roger: "Of course it's real. And here's a little something for Melvin for being such a great volunteer for my son's act."

Roger twists his right wrist three times and after a puff of smoke, hands Melvin a chocolate-covered acorn.

Melvin: "Whoa! Thanks Mr. Roger!"

Just as Ellie and Riley prepare themselves for the disappointment of being second-hands next to their parents, Melvin looks over at the kits and says, "And triple thanks to you and Ellie, Riley! You were both amazing! I can't believe you escaped from that chest and made me do two impossible things! I'm tellin' all my other friends about your magic tricks! And you can bet your entire winter food store that they'll wanna see you two perform more!"

The words are no different than what any kid would say after seeing and experiencing the same thing. But to Riley and Ellie, those small-time, generic compliments are monumental in effect. Words can't describe how great they feel right now. The ones who feel even greater pride are their parents. In the same way that wanting to cause your lover to feel good is the sign of a healthy romantic relationship, the feeling that Roger and Aleshia get while seeing their kids get the credit they so deserve, after working so hard on pursing their passion/hobby, is the sign of a healthy parent-child relationship. It's every parents' dream for their children to follow in their footsteps, but with the huge steps Riley and Ellie have taken today, it'll only be a matter of time before the kids surpass their parents. Pride for being the experts usually makes parents want to stop that from happening, but in truth, having the kids be better than parents is the best thing that can happen. Because if that were to happen it would mean Roger and Aleshia have truly succeeded as parents.

To help ensure that glorious outcome, Aleshia says, "They have one more trick to perform, and they've saved the best for last. So, if you three could please rejoin the audience..."

Melvin and his parents don't even wait for Aleshia to finish. They zip over back to the crowd and look up at the stage. Roger then says, "Kids, take it away!"

Riley: "For our last magic trick—"

Ellie: "—My brother and I will perform something we only learned just recently."

Riley: "Thanks to our magnificent parents."

Ellie: "Now then—"

Riley: "—Please observe..."

The siblings put a handkerchief to their paws, wave the fingers of their free paw above it, and then pull up the handkerchiefs. Black golf balls are now in their palms, and after tossing them straight up and catching them, the kits throw them at the audience and the balls erupt into an explosion of confetti and sparkling purple smoke, with the cheers and whoops following shortly after. Roger and Aleshia go back on stage to bow with their kids and then come back to join the audience for more festivities and fun party games. There are slip n' slides that the turtles have a blast with, potato sack races for kids and adults, jousting with participants riding on the wolves, a Pin the shock rod on the Verminator station, and a piñata. The bats dominate the latter two activities, proving to all that even without working eyes, no one should take bats lightly. And with enough time gone by for their regular eating diet, Reagan and Ro-J are able to fully enjoy all the games. The hedgies spend another hour and a half at the flying squirrels' home, and head back to the log with their hearts full of content and their bellies full of delicious food.

Once back at their main dwelling, the hedgies break up to get some alone-time with their individual families, or to rest after doing all the fun games. Mary and Elroy are surprised that RJ, Heather, and the joeys aren't around, not even their scents.

Mary: "Where in the world could they be?"

Like all male spouses, Elroy has a habit of talking to Mary like she has no brain. "You checked your phone yet?"

Mary retorts with, "It would've made the ringtone or text sound." Her tone changes as an idea pops in her mind. "Unless..." She hastily pulls it out of her pouch and confirms it aloud, "I left it on silent, to make sure the noise wouldn't wake up our kids last night..."

Elroy: "Well, what does it say? Anything about where they are?"

Mary skims through the messages she has received from her parents. She sighs while shaking her head sideways, causing Elroy to muse, "Even when we're free of our kids, they still find some way to make our lives overly complicated..."

Figuring Elroy would complain more if she read the text messages out loud, Mary chooses not to do that and instead dials Heather's number. After a few rings Heather's voice comes over the phone, "Hey Mary. You and Elroy have a good time at the party?"

Mary: "We did, but you need to come home with our kids right now."

RJ's voice: "Really? Because we said we'd take 'em to the playground zone."

Mary: "You can't do that because, like your message said, they still haven't had their naps yet."

Elory: "What?! Oh, just great! They'll be crankier than ever now!"

Heather's voice: "Like our text to you said, we tried, but they wouldn't stop crying."

RJ's voice: "They just couldn't go down without you two here."

Mary: "They always cry when we try to put them down for a nap. We told you, you have to let them cry it out until they fall asleep."

Heather's voice: "Sorry, I guess your dad and I have gotten weaker from all the crying of the kids this family has produced over the years. We just couldn't take it anymore."

Mary: "You're at least coming back this way, right?"

RJ's voice: "We will now, but..."

Three wailing cries come over on the phone.

Mira's voice: "But we weally wanted to go to the pwaygrownd!"

Tim's voice: "Yeah, the pwaygwound!"

Zeke's voice: "And pway!"

All three had cried those words rather than speak them. Heather sighs over the phone and then says, "See what you've done now? This is what RJ and I will have to deal with all the way back to the log, which'll be a seven-minute journey of us having to try to calm them down."

Elroy: "You shouldn't have promised them something without knowing if you could keep that promise."

Mary: "Elroy's right, but just continue to deal with them until you get back home. And good luck."

Mary ends the call and groans while tilting her head up to the sky. Her normal good mood returns when she says, "At least we got to unwind at the birthday party."

Elroy: "It wasn't enough time for me to fully unwind."

Mary: "That's something you need to deal with, because they'll be here in seven minutes. So use that time to prepare yourself."

Elroy plops himself on the ground and closes his eyes to get a cat nap—and so does Mary. The seven minutes pass way too fast, and when Mary and Elroy sit up after smelling the scents of RJ, Heather and the triplets, they wonder why the joeys aren't crying and whining. Then they discover why, much to their irritation. All three kids are licking ice cream cones.

Mary: "Why did you give them more sweets after telling me you baked a batch of cookies with them, and let them have popsicles?"

RJ: "Sorry, but it was the only way we could get them to stop crying about not being able to go to the playground."

Heather: "We asked them what would make them feel better and they said an ice cream cone. So we stopped by Phil the rabbit's burrow and he gave them some ice cream from a freezer he stole from humans."

Elroy condescendingly says, "You do realize that you're the adults and they're the kids, right? You're the boss of them, not the other way around."

RJ: "True, but we're they're grandparents."

Heather: "And it's a grandparent's job to spoil the grandkids."

Elroy: "But they'll be too hyped up on sugar to take a nap now! Which means more of their shenanigans and restlessness!"

Mary finds herself copying Elroy's patronizing tone when she adds, "And there is such a thing as spoiling too much."

Wanting to end the two's annoying attitude, RJ calmly replies, "Ozzie, Rogan, and Sarah did the same thing with you and Bernard," with crosses arms. "Remember how they'd have a fresh box of donuts for you and Bernard to eat every morning for breakfast?"

Heather duplicates RJ's tone when she says, "And let you eat lunch and dinner in bed while watching a cartoon movie?"

Mary's surliness quickly leaves with each passing letter from the two words that come out next. "Well...yeah..."

RJ: "And who had to deal with you hyper opossacoon kits when it was your mother and I's turn to take care of you?"

Mary: "You and mom..." (A bit more defensive) "But you two don't have to clean up the mess these three will make if the sugar causes them to get sick."

Heather: "We've been doing that all day, so that you and Elroy can get a much-deserved break. Aren't you grateful for that?"

Mary finally submits to the truth of her parents' words. Her own word finally return back to their positive tone when she says, "We sure are."

Elroy: "Yeah. I never knew my grandparents, but I'm glad they weren't around to spoil my brothers and sisters."

Now siding with her parents Mary says, "Even if your grandparents would spoil you too?"

Elroy: "I never knew what it was like to be spoiled...But from what you two have done with the kids—"

Sensing the opossum's hostile tone, RJ counters with, "Their names are Tim, Zeke, and Mira."

Elroy: "—I guess it would've been pretty neat."

Everyone relaxes since Elroy had said it in the same tone as Mary, now understanding what RJ and Heather have done and why.

Mary: "Alright kids, tell your grandmommy and granddaddy thanks for all they've done with you today."

The three joeys chime, Tha-anks!" like barber shop music.

Elroy looks RJ and Heather in the eyes and says, "And thanks for helping take care of them today."

Mary smirks and crosses her arms while slyly saying, "Imagine if we were still traveling on our vacations and they weren't around to look after our kids..."

Elroy: "Ugh, that's gonna haunt my nightmares tonight."

Mary: "You're welcome." (Returns to her usual tone) "Now who wants to go play with puzzles and toys?"

A chorus of "Me's!" with raised paws happens.

Mary: "Then c'mon this way kids."

They scamper and climb on to Mary's back. Elroy takes in a deep breath and then exhales as he goes to help out his mate with their kids who have endless energy, unlike himself.

Elroy thinking: "If this keeps up, I'll have no choice."

---

Meanwhile, Pat and Bernard are carrying their sleeping kits piggyback style. Bernard says, "I'll take Ro-J to the log to get some rest. Wanna bring Reagan along?"

Pat is about to agree until an idea comes to her. She hasn't gotten to do it since adopting her daughter because any sudden movements after the playground fiasco could have been dangerous. But now, she feels it's the perfect time. "I'll take her somewhere else. Somewhere to spend some more mother-daughter time."

Bernard: "Alright. See ya later."

The two head in opposite directs, with Pat going into a burrow that the squirrels use to store nuts. Since it's Spring, the nut store is low which leaves plenty of room for Pat and Reagan to be left in private.

Before entering Pat gently takes Reagan down, and once inside, she shifts Reagan and cradles her. The tender, loving moment goes on for almost a full minute until Reagan wakes up. The kit turns her head and feels the way that Pat is holding her. Reagan asks, "What're you doing mama?

"Cradling my daughter in my arms like she's my baby girl," answers Pat matter-of-factly.

In irritation Reagan replies, "I'm 10-years-old, not a baby."

Patricia: "True, but I get the feeling you were never treated like one by your biological parents."

Reagan gets what Pat means and lowers her defenses. Besides, with no one else around there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Reagan doesn't even speak; she closes her eyes then cuddles up and nuzzles against Pat's chest. Pat brings up Reagan, kisses her on the forehead, lowers the kit, and resumes cradling her. Three minutes later, Reagan opens her eyes and looks up at Pat, causing the adult raccoon to stop cradling.

Reagan: "Why are you doing this to me? Why are you being so nice?"

Patricia: "Because you're my daughter, and I promised to give you everything your real parents never did."

Those words, coupled with all of Pat's and Bernard's actions toward Reagan and Ro-J upon their first meeting up to now strike a chord somewhere deep within Reagan's heart. She remembers how nice they were to she and her brother even after calling Bernard a freak. She recalls the amazing new names they gave them, being introduced to the family, disciplining them with dignity, taking them to the playground, of Pat saving her life from shock, and the important lesson of being polite even when getting angry at someone during the hypnotism debacle. All of this and more makes Reagan realize something that she wants to tell Pat immediately.

Reagan: "No."

Patricia: "Hm?"

Reagan: "They weren't my real, biological parents. You and Bernard are! I love you both so much for all you've done for me and Ro-J that, as far as I'm concerned, Robbie and Monica were my adopted parents. And because of how you have treated me and Ro-J, I also know for a fact that you and Bernard didn't adopt us as a last resort out of desperation!"

She flings her arms around Pat who nuzzles her daughter some more. Pat also completes the cycle by telling Reagan, "And you're my true, biological daughter, and Ro-J my biological son. So does this mean you've taken our family's main motto to heart?"

Reagan: "Yes!"

Patricia: "Even—"

Reagan: "—Except for RJ."

Patricia: "Has he ever tried harming you since meeting you? Yes or no?"

Reagan: "No, but he was going to when he approached me when I first met him."

Patricia: "He was trying to hug you."

Reagan: "He was going to choke me."

Patricia: "RJ is one crafty guy, even by raccoon standards. If he wanted to hurt you, he would've done it already. Isn't that proof that he is never going to hurt you?

Reagan: "He's just biding his time. But thankfully I have you, Bernard, and everyone else here to protect me when that happens."

Patricia: "It won't happen, but since you're still not in the mood to accept RJ, we'll take our victory from today as a huge step. Wanna go tell your brother? Even in this burrow and from this distance I can hear that he's awake."

The joy returns to Reagan's attitude as she exclaims "Yes!" while leaping out of Pat's arms and running in the direction of Ro-J's scent. Before Bernard can ask Reagan what's the rush, she runs up to Ro-J and whispers to him. Pat has caught up with them by the time she finishes whispering and as excepted, Ro-J nods with a smile and then runs over to Bernard and Pat to say, "You are my biological parents too, not my adopted ones!"

Bernard glances at Pat. Her wink and smile, combined with his raccoon-inherited intellect, tells him all he needs to know. The four embrace again, now, officially, as a true family.

---

The only eventful things that happen over the next five days are the family spending more quality time together and preparing for Plushie's and Meredith's wedding. But with a total of nine days having gone by since the skunks' duel with the minks, the skunks receive some unusual visitors this night.

Damon and Niara are trying to sleep when they feel their fur being tugged on with sharp claws and small gusts of wind. They wake up and see the bats doing the deeds while hovering above them. Damon asks, "What're y'all doin'?"

Niara: "Yeah, we tryin' to sleep."

Mordecai: "Sorry, but we were all eating our nighttime breakfast when we detected the scents of strange animals coming to our home."

Bert nods yes, but doesn't say anything.

Marilyn: "Once they saw that the porcupines blocked the entrance to the log, they must have detected our scent and they asked us to wake you up."

Damon and Niara in unison: "Who's 'they'?"

Owen: "The minks you told us you had bested."

Lucas: "The kids only."

Damon and Niara look at each other in realization and then smirk.

Niara: " 'Bout time."

Damon: "Yeah. I was thinkin' what took 'em so long?"

The five bats go, "Huh?" in unison.

Damon: "All y'all jus' relax and go back to eatin' your breakfast."

Niara: "Yeah, my brother and I can handle this."

Mordecai: "We're still gonna wake one of your parents."

Niara: "We'll do that for you."

Still unsure, but respecting the kids' wishes, Owen says, "Um, alright. Good luck."

With that, the bats leave. Niara wakes up De'Ausha, and whispers into her ear. This causes De'Ausha to nod and the three remove a cut-away piece of wood from the log's floor and then crawl down through a tunnel that leads to some bushes a good 10 yards away from the log. The tunnel had been dug to offer family members to safely leave or enter the log at night when the porcupines' quills guard the main entrances/exits. The skunk-blooded animals walk in the open so the minks can easily pick up on their scents. Sure enough, the minks turn around and are none other than Madeline/Maddie, Alfred Jr./AJ, Stratford, Connie, and Chris, all escorted by Stratford's older brother, Jude.

Connie and her brother Chris lower their heads and skulk behind Jude who gets things started by saying, "Hi. We never got to say how much you impressed us for winning fair and square nine days ago."

AJ: "Or to apologize for all we've said and done to you."

Stratford: "And the rest of your family members."

Madeline: "We wanted to tell you these things, but didn't do it after the duel, because our parents were around."

Jude turns around and whispers, "It's your turn, Connie and Chris. Show them."

The three skunks had just been wondering why the proud and boastful Connie and Chris are being so reserved and shy. But the skunks discover why as soon as Connie and Chris step from behind Jude and into the moonlight, and raise their heads. Each mink has a black eye, swelling around their right cheeks, and what appears to be a wet spot of fur on their faces that is really dried blood.

Connie: "Our parents weren't kidding when they said they would beat us for losing to you."

While pointing at his face and hindquarters Chris says "We also have bruises beneath our fur here and here."

Madeline: "As for me and Alfred Jr., our parents yelled insults and threats at us all day and night long for the past nine days."

The three hedgies finally feel some sort of connection with the minks as the skunks recall Reagan's and Ro-J's history of verbal abuse and scars. It's horrible, but abusive parents are quite plentiful in both the human and animal world.

Stratford: "Because my big brother has taken care of me ever since our mom and dad died, I was the only one who didn't receive any punishment."

Jude: "But when these others" (points at the other minks) "came by our home and told us what their parents had done to them, we decided to follow up on something they wanted to do ever since you and your family defeated us."

De'Ausha: "Y'all wanna learn und'a Nukalawa and Boombata like my kids and become better at usin' yo stink and fightin' skillz."

The six minks give surprised looks and Chris asks, "How'd you know?"

De'Ausha: " 'Cuz it's only natural fo' anyone who's been defeated to learn why they was defeated, and the best way is to ask the ones who defeated 'em."

Niara: "Boombata and Nukalawa have already prepped a training session somewhere close by."

AJ: "You'll do this for us?"

Damon: "That all depends if y'all pass the test. 'Cuz the right to learn from us and our mentors must be earned."

Niara: "Are y'all willin' to accept the challenge?"

The minks feel a mixture of intrigue and uneasiness, but the former outweighs the latter, so they say, "Yes," in unison.

De'Ausha: "Then in that case..."

Next thing the minks know, they are caught in thick and black cloth bags, courtesy of Kale and Clara. The mustelids struggle to free themselves and demand what's going on, until Kale says, "Shut up! Or me n' Clara will eat you's!"

De'Ausha: "The first step in yo' training is embracing the unknown and uncertain. You wanna learn how ta effectively use your spray and impress yo' abusive parents? Y'all calm down and be quiet by the time I stop talkin'."

The minks do as instructed which causes Clara to let out her trademark laugh. "Kyaa, ha ha haaa! Now we's talkin'. Here's where da real first step begins."

Kale lets the skunks climb onto his back and he and Clara carry the bags of minks in their teeth. After two minutes of fast running, the wolves let the bags down and open them up. They find themselves in a forest clearing, the full moon in the sky giving the place a calming yet menacing atmosphere. Before any of the minks can question if the bags were necessary, a stranger in a black hooded robe approaches them from the front, bearing an uncanny resemblance to one of those nine horse-riding villains from the fantasy movie trilogy about an all-powerful ring. Although the face is hidden behind a black veil, the minks feel that the figure is giving them a mysterious look.

The figure turns to Damon and asks in an American accent, "Who did you bring, brother?"

Damon: "These six want to learn all the secrets of the art of using our species' most notable ability."

Mysterious figure: "Then follow me."

They all go past the clearing and arrive at a pond that might as well be a lake by mustelid standards. The water comes from a raging waterfall to which the cloaked figure leads them. From a bush emerges a second cloaked figure who asks (also in an American accent), "Your parents know of your time here?"

Minks in unison: "No."

AJ: "And if they found out we're being trained by the same two skunk kids who defeated us, we'll have our heads handed to us."

Second cloaked figure: "Then you must swear to keep all the knowledge gained in secret and not tell anyone about the training."

Minks in unison: "We swear."

Second cloaked figure: "Also swear to never use the knowledge and skills gained against Damon and Niara, or other inhabitants of the forest without any serious reason."

Minks in unison: "We promise."

Second cloaked figure: "Then onward with the initiation ritual into your discipleship."

The second cloaked figure nods at the first cloaked figure, who then says, "Once it's done, there is no turning back. Those who feel they are not up for it, leave now." No one budges, causing the mysterious stranger to say, "Then we are all in agreement."

The figures takes off their disguises, revealing themselves to be Boombata and Nukalawa.

Cassie: "You two?"

Jude: "Even I was fooled. How'd you not use your African accents?"

Now speaking with their natural dialect, Boombata replies, "Our American brothers n' sisters teach us how to talk like Amercian."

Nukalawa: "Strains our voices, but keep tradition from homeland alive."

Boombata: "We go through same process and ritual back in Africa as we train to become warrior. Now, onto ritual. Go stand under waterfall until we say otherwise."

Nukalawa: "This is symbol of spiritual cleansing from all neg'tive intention. After all, only with spiritual purity and sparkling desire, can you comprehend new knowledge and skill."

The six apprentices walk briskly at first, but then stop within an arm's length of the waterfall, overcome by doubts and fear upon seeing how strong the current is now that they're up close. Before Boombata and Nukalawa can demand them to do it—and the minks' fear that they will be kicked out for their hesitation—they hold hands and step into the falling water.

Seeing this, Nukalawa remarks in her native Akan language, "Wɔtow die no gu—the die is cast."

The minks are instantly brought to their knees (or even bellies) by the force, but hold onto each other which prevents them from being taken away by the waterflow. Slowly but surely, they rise, letting the powerful force of one of Nature's oldest creations coarse through their fur. It's so strong they feel as if their spirits and souls are being cleansed, but the feeling is now enjoyment.

Noticing (or sensing) this, Boombata declares, "Enough! Step back over here."

The minks do as they're told and, having passed the ritual of initiation into disciples, Nukalawa examines the wet minks illuminated by moonlight and pronounces, "What is apprenticeship? Only the path of liberation."

Boombata: "We must ask why you be here? We have idea, but want to know from your words."

One by one, the minks hang their heads as they confess.

Stratford: "Shame..."

Jude: "Guilt..."

Maddie: "Humility..."

AJ: "Overbearance..."

Chris and Connie in unison: "Abuse..."

Maddie, AJ, Chris, and Connie in unison: "From our parents."

Nukalawa: "As we thought. Since duel, we knew something wrong wit your lives to make you how you were."

Maddie: "All our lives our parents taught us three things."

Holding up one finger at a time, AJ says, "Fight and win, no matter what," so that he is now holding up three total.

Stratford: "They said 'that's how they were raised by our parents,' so it's all they've ever known."

Connie: "They taught us that the world is full of animals who just can't wait to walk all over you, so you've got to be strong, be the best, and walk all over them first."

Jude: "We thought we were always strong and always the winners. Everything seemed to be going well, until the duel..."

In a tone full of honesty, Connie says, "And after our defeat against, you, Damon, Niara, and their family and friends, we now understand that we're not as strong as our parents convinced us."

Chris now judges the time is right to get a particular something off his chest. "And..." He lowers his head again and yells in a voice full of emotional turmoil, "I can't believe my own mom used me as a shield! MY OWN MOM!" He gets a grip on his emotions, looks at Damon and Niara, and speaks in a guilt-ridden tone, "When your grandma gassed me, I thought about what I did to that raccoon kit with asthma. I got a taste of my own medicine, and it was awful. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think...except about the pain of my lungs not drawing in air."

Stratford: "But Damon and Niara, you knew how to control your emotions, so you have real power."

AJ: "And from what we've seen how you two interact with your family, your parents don't yell, intimidate, or hit you to make you do things they consider is 'right' when it's really wrong."

Jude: "I speak for myself and all of us here when I say, we want to grow up to be just like you."

Damon: "Grow up to be us? But we just seven."

De'Ausha: "They saying they wanna be good folks like you and Niara, thanks ta me and yo' daddy's upbringin'."

After listening to the former enemies, now allies, Boombata utters, "Repentance tis full'ah awareness. Now that you realized your mistakes, you ready to comprehend new knowledge."

Nukalawa: "Starting wit your first lesson tonight." (Looks over at the wolves) "Kale and Clara, you and your kids get tings set up."

Kale and Clara in unison: "On it."

The newcomers wonder what the wolves are up to, but just as their eyes start following the canines, Nukalawa says, "Do'na get di'strac'ted, that lead to vulnerability." The minks instantly look at the honey badger, who says, "Follow." They backtrack in silence and arrive near several rocks that serve as stepping stones for getting from one side of the great pond to the opposite. Nukalawa then commands, "Onto the stones. And yes, we intention'ly recreate scenario where you bested by our longtime students, their family, and us."

Boombata: "For the best way to ov'come shameful defeat is to redeem oneself in very way you were shamed."

Damon: "We gonna come too."

Niara: "Sho' thang. We can't risk gettin' rusty in our own trainin'."

The seven-year-olds leap bravely, as if rushing head-first into the unknown. Inspired by this, the minks follow suit. Once all the apprentices are on stones, Nukalawa turns around to some bushes and shrubs and calls out, "Now."

The group of mustelids hear several muffled groans or grunts, followed by the voices of Kale, Clara, Percie, Boxer, and Roaster saying goading words.

Kale's voice: "Stop whinin'!"

Clara's voice: "Shut up and get goin'!"

Percie's voice: "You's betta move or I'll make'a fur coat outta ya!"

Boxer's voice: "Giddy up, whippin' girl!"

Roaster's voice: "Don't like it? Too bad! You's my prison-cell-goat-boy and're gonna do whatev'a I say. Now move it, goat-boy!"

Emerging from bushes and shrubs are a group of predator animals: an adolescent black bear, an adult water moccasin/cottonmouth snake, a coyote, a great horned owl on a leash being held by Clara, two male wolves, a female fox, and three pumas (a mother, father, and son). All the predators' claws have been forcefully dulled and their mouths are muzzled closed, hence the groaning and lack of retorts for the Predator-Quellers' words from before.

If it wasn't obvious enough, Boombata looks at the new trainees and points at the predators while saying, "Those animals' sole purpose in dis training session is to serve as moving targets, courtesy of the Predator-Queller Wolf Pack."

Clara smirks and smugly asks, "Are you's targets ready?" When none of the predators make a peep, each of the wolves hits their captives hard in the faces. Now in a demanding tone Clara asks, "I said, ARE YOU'S TARGETS READY?!"

Grunts and frantic head shakes of affirmation follow. Percie and Clara simultaneously blast out, "Kyaa ha ha haaa! Dat's better."

Boxer: "And don't even teenk about runnin' away."

Kale: " 'Cuz we've gotta little extra somethin' called 'insurance' we're just dying ta use on ya's. Show 'em, Roaster."

Roaster holds up his right forepaw revealing that he is wearing a button strapped like a watch. When he gives it a press, electrical clicking sounds like that of a dog running over the boundary of a yard's electric fence happen and cause the captive predators to moan in pain. With shock collars to keep the predators in line, everyone's safety is guaranteed, so any worries felt by the participants before are now a thing of the past.

Damon: "We're all ready too. Right team?"

The other participants let out a "Yeah!"

Never wanting to miss an opportunity to rub it in, Roaster comes up with an ingenious idea after seeing and hearing the mustelids' enthusiasm. He looks at the predators and rhetorically asks, "How's about a little excitement from alluv you's? Just 'cuz you's on the losin' team doesn't mean you can't have no comradery."

Not wanting to suffer any more humiliation, one of the target wolves holds out his paw which causes the other predators to huddle up and put their own paws, wing, and snake tail on top of the first wolf's. They hum out "One, two, three: Predators!" like a sports team then break away.

Nukalawa: "Commence now!"

Wanting to get the most credit for hitting the hardest target, AJ aims high for the owl. He misses his opening shot, but hits the strigiform when he alters his aim. The second hardest target is the cottonmouth because the snake is so low to the ground, and Chris and Connie hit the reptile with ease. Maddie bulls-eyes the fox in the face, while Stratford gets two of pumas in the side, and Jude hits the bear. This impresses the adult mustelids, Predator-Quellers, and even the predators themselves. If anything, the minks' rough upbringing has at least made them accurate. Damon and Niara work together to hit the coyote.

The instant the sound of splashing happens, fish start jumping in and out of the water in all sorts of fancy formations. The scene is like a water show at an ocean theme park—granted with much smaller aquatic animals. Being the youngest, Stratford is surprised the most and falls into the water, he is brought to the surface by Jay the otter.

Stratford: "What the?"

Isaac emerges from underneath the water with a snicker, looks at the zorilla and honey badger, and says, "Distraction created, right on time."

Maddie: "You didn't say anything about a distraction?"

Jacob surfaces next and says, "Esperar lo inesperado."

Boxer translates, " 'Expect the unexpected.' "

Clara: "Like this: sick 'em!"

Having no sense of smell, the owl is unhindered by the mink spray on its feathers and dives after Maddie and Chris. Even with its beak in a muzzle and its talons reduced to harmless nubs, the sight of a large owl with devil horn-like ears swooping their way makes the mink siblings panic. They curl into a fetal position to cower, until Niara says, "Work together, everyone!"

The skunks and minks (Chris and Connie included) all aim at the owl and score hits on its ventral side. Despite being unable to smell or taste, the downright putrid mix of mink and skunk spray that the owl gets in its mouth makes the feathered beast pass out from disgust. The other predators also start leaping onto the stones in an effort to get to the skunks and minks.

Damon: "Form a line! Spray in a side-to-side pattern!"

Only Jude, AJ, and Chris remain calm and stay, while Stratford, Connie, and Maddie flee in fear. The mustelids who stayed with Damon and Niara do as they're told and succeed in hitting the animals coming toward them. Most of the latter jump into the water in a vain effort to wash the smell off, but the father puma, water moccasin, and one of the wolves press on. Being unable to use its bite, the snake wraps itself around Niara like a boa constrictor. Fortunately, since that is neither a typical attack of a cottonmouth, nor has the reptile tried this before now (just going off what it has observed constricting snakes do), its grip is awkward and not tight. Even so, the reptile produces its own vile musk smell that is just as bad as a skunk's. The smell is enough to make Niara feel woozy, and even drives off the puma and wolf. Satisfied with his retaliation, the cottonmouth sneers from beneath his muzzle...Which then turns into a frown when Niara—who has been around foul smells her whole life that she's quite used to them—slips free, sprays her paw, then sticks her fingers into the snake's nose. The water moccasin's muzzle is just a piece of rope that leaves the nostrils exposed and vulnerable. The reptile yanks its head back quickly, but is too late. The smell causes him to retch so hard that he slithers into the water and inhales through the nose to make him sneeze hard when he comes back up.

The black bear and coyote go after the minks that fled. Connie is among them and she has a flashback of the beating she received from her parents. The yelling, name-calling, and hits serve as an odd yet effective inspiration for her to tell herself, "If you don't want that to happen again, lady-up and face your opponents head-on." She yells, "Stop!" to her fellow minks and then says, "Go for the eyes!"

She, Stratford, and Maddie turn around and spray, but the predators had easily overheard Connie and have shut their eyes, saving them from being blinded by the spray, but not the smell. Still, the ursine and canine move onward, using their anger at being reduced to training tools as motivation to ignore the stench. The other predators take note and do the exact same for the exact reasons. They know they have signed their death warrants, but would rather go out fighting like the fearsome predators they are, instead of living with the disgrace of being forced to losing a staged training session with a bunch of mink and skunk kids. Roaster can tell from the look in the bear's and coyote's eyes, and the aggression of their body language that the two intend on killing the minks. They will do that, dull claws and muzzled mouths notwithstanding. The minks are saved from certain death when Roaster presses the shock collar remote to electrocute all the predators. Because all are wet from the water (and some are still in the water) the shocks are magnified exponentially, causing them to pass out in a mere two seconds. The hedgies and their friends expect Roaster to stop pressing the button now—only, he doesn't. He keeps his paw on the button.

Kale: "Roaster, stop it! You'll kill them!"

Clara: "Yeah! And the otters in the water!"

Roaster complies after Clara's observation, but as his family surrounds him, he knows they have some things to say.

Boxer: "What's wrong with you, hermanito—little brother?!"

Percie: "Why didn't ya listen to papá?!"

Clara: "Why did you keep electrocuting them?!"

Roaster: "To protect our family and friends, what else?"

Kale: "Knocking those predators out cold was enough. You didn't have to kill them."

Roaster: "They were about to kill those minks, and Damon and Niara. And if they survived, they would'a harbored revenge for us and our extended familia."

Kale: "Roaster...there is something wrong with you. Your mom and I have been onto your overly-aggressive behavior for a while."

Roaster instantly breaks out in sweat. "Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap..." he muses in whispered panic.

Clara: "We gave you the shock collar remote instead of your siblings because we wanted to test you, see if you were just as messed up in the head as we suspected."

The whisper in Roaster's mind now escalates to a raised voice, "Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap…"

Clara: "And in case you took things too far, we made sure to use regular shock collars on the predators, not the amped up ones that I suffered from all those years ago."

As if awaiting his words, the other predators regain consciousness with groans. In pain, but still alive. The otters also surface, glaring at the 15-year-old wolf with crossed arms.

Skip: "If it was the real shock collars, you would have killed us, tu cabeza estúpida!"

Maria: "Yeah, 'you stupid-head!' "

Clara takes the shock collar remote off of Roaster and walks it over to Boombata.

Kale: "I think it's time we wolves had a little family meeting...In private."

With Clara having rejoined her family, Roaster's own parents and siblings might as well be a real mafia gang talking to a helpless victim, because she sure does feel helpless as his mind now screams, "OH CRAP, OH CRAP, OH CRAP, OH CRAP, OH CRAP, OH CRAP, OH CRAAAA-AAAAAAP!"

Clara: "Boxer and Percie, bring him. We're going a good distance away so none one here will be able to listen."

The siblings do a grip-bite on Roaster's left and right fore-shoulders and force him to come along with Kale and Clara.

Kale turns to address the concerned onlookers with, "We got to re-educate our son. Discuss some matters of the spirit." (1)

Having known Kale and his family for about 30 minutes, the minks feel even more uneased at how the wolf used proper grammar. The canines disappear into the foliage and no one speaks until they can't hear the wolves' footsteps any more. The one who breaks the silence is De'Ausha who looks at the minks and asks, "So, uh, how was your first trainin' with my kids?" in a forced-happy tone.

Chris: "Not bad."

Maddie: "Are you kiddin', it was great!"

AJ: "Yeah, we never learned how to fight like that from our parents. They always kept us in a box by limiting our lessons to our homes instead of getting out and doing things we never knew were possible for us!"

Jude: "I can't believe seven-year-olds can think better under pressure than me. But that's why you two are better than us, Niara and Damon."

Damon: "You just haven't been on heists from human houses like we have. That's where you learn how to deal with panic."

Niara: "And y'all did do better than we did in our first training with Boombata and Nukalawa, so it's not like my brother and I are anything too extraordinary."

Connie: "I didn't catch that last part, because you kids ARE extraordinary!"

The minks feel a surge of genuine pride when Nukalawa walks up and says, "You did do very well for first lesson." Then, being the critic she is, the minks' smiles fade when Nukalawa follows up with, "But I notice you did not spray with all your might. Unlike duel, you held back. Why is this?"

Maddie: "Because we need to save our spray supply for when our parents have us practice with them.

Chris: "Yeah. Mom and dad will be harder on us if we suddenly run out."

Nukalawa's face softens as realizes her training mentality has made her forget of the plight the minks face once they leave here.

Connie: "But now that we can train under someone as strong as you, your mate, Damon, and Naira, we're gonna get so good are parents will be asking to apologize to us."

Nukalawa: "No. With what you risk coming here, and what you endure at home, all you are the strong ones."

The minks' faces brighten up again and even the hardened AJ and Chris shed a tear of pride.

Maddie I'm still trying to understand how those predators were so dedicated for a bunch of hostages?"

De'Ausha: "It was either try they'ah hardest, or get a butt whippin'."

That remark reminds Jude of something that makes him regrettably have to end the chuckling of his peers. Not wanting anything worse to happen to them, Jude announces, "Thanks again, y'all. I hate to be rude, but we need to head back to our homes before anyone's parents wake up. But we'll try to make it for our training every other night."

Stratford: "Yeah, totally."

Boombata: "Then go, but walk with your head held high. You all earned it. We await your return two days from now. We teach you closing ritual then."

The minks let out a "Thank you," and start hurrying back in the direction of their homes, feeling amazed at how it took a true defeat for them to realize what it takes to win.

Note: I want to give another thanks to Shkiper for recommending all the scenarios, and even specific dialogue, that pertain to the skunks, minks, Boombata, and Nukalawa which I added my own personal touches to.

(1)=Based off a quote from Alien 3. Copyright by 20th Century Fox.

---

The wolves end up taking Roaster to a cave where Clara used to live 15 years ago. Back when Kale was the only good wolf living in the woods, the cave was located in what would be called the "bad part of town;" a place where predators who wished to become permanent residents in woodlands beyond the Elysian Fields Estates could have easy access to water, shelter, and food. That was of course assuming if they could defend it against constant takeover attempts that were made daily, since many a predator had fought and died to claim this irresistible location. Clara was the only predator tough enough to not only take the cave, but to hold it for herself. But as tough as she is, Kale was still able to defeat her a little way's off of her home turf.

Today, there is no more threat of predators trying to take this cave, the Predator-Queller Pack make sure of that. However, there is a new threat now...a threat to one of the Predator-Quellers' own, and Roaster knows it. His siblings finally let go of him once the wolves get inside the cave, and Roaster makes sure to stand up tall because he will be punished for not keeping his dignity—on top of all the other things he is about to be punished for.

Kale doesn't waste any time and cuts the point by saying, "You have darkness in your heart, son. And yes, I know it's true that all creatures have a dark side to themselves, but what I don't understand is how that could happen with the excellent upbringing you've had."

Clara: "Your father and I have seen true evil from both sources: nature and nurture. We know you are a good kid who wants nothing more than to make the forest safer for all non-predator animals. I daresay you work harder than your siblings—" (Looks at Boxer and Percie) "no offense—because you didn't inherit above average strength and sense of smell. You like to laugh, play, joke, and have a good time. So your evil is not from your nature."

Kale: "Your mom and I grew up in packs with true abuse and hatred. When we decided to have pups, we vowed to not raise them like we were raised. We have given you love, care, independence, and justified discipline. To top things off, you are surrounded by a huge family of animals who have given you the same all your life. So your evil is not from your nurture.

"And despite all that, you crippled Regina the bobcat when a simple death threat would have been enough, ate a fox out of cold blood, and tried to electrocute a bunch of predators to death when shocking them to get them to stop attacking would have done the job. And we also know of your deepest secret: you've been eating other animals instead of packaged meat." Before Roaster can ask how Kale found that out, his father says, "No amount of eating packaged meat can mask the smell of real blood and flesh from my nose."

Clara: "Kale, me, your siblings, and your extended family didn't do anything wrong to make you this way. So again, the question remains where did it come from?"

Seeing how honest his parents are being for him, and moved by their words, Roaster switches his original plan from justifying his actions to giving them the honest, and embarrassing truth, "Because I'm sick of other predators insulting me and our pack." Seeing his parents and siblings giving him serious looks that show they are listening to him 100 percent, Roaster continues, "I hate sounding like a drama queen, but whenever someone makes fun of me by saying 'Your brother and sister are way better than you,' and 'you're the weak link in a weak pack that doesn't eat animals like real wolves should,' I just lose it. I have to prove them wrong.

"That's why I ate that fox. He said, 'You and your family are the biggest sissies and disgrace to predators on the whole planet. You're not even brave enough to eat me because you're too soft.' He stuck his paw out and goaded me to take a bite. I countered by saying I didn't wanna eat a smelly old fox like him, but then he laid down and posed for me, saying, 'C'mon I'll give you a freebie. Rip a chunk out of me and swallow it.' I walked away while saying he wasn't worth the effort, but when he said, 'Yeah that's right, run away like a coward. Go suckle your mommy's and daddy's nipples! Every carnivore knows you and your weak-wolf family are too afraid to be hardcore and fearsome predators that command respect. A chicken has more guts than you do!' That's when I ran back, and ate a chunk out of his chest. But...I did more than that. I...I ate his heart."

Percie and Boxer gasp, with Percie leading the reaction with, "You ate his HEART?!"

Boxer: "That is SO jodido arriba—screwed up!"

Percie: "You're one sick, psycho!"

Boxer: "You're the master of insults in the family, and you went all 'Kali Ma' on the fox just because you can't take a few insults that're thrown at you?!"

Percie: "That makes you a hypocrite, and a deranged one at that!"

Roaster: "I did it to send a clear message to the Bush-Wacker Pack, and all predators: do not mess around these woods, or else. Yes, it was majorly messed up, but you can't deny that they'll certainly get the message."

Percie: "There is no excuse! It's downright heinous!"

Boxer: "It makes me sick to look at you, and sicker to know we share the same blood!"

Ever since Roaster's confession, and throughout the siblings' disgusted comments, Kale and Clara strangely seem unbothered by the fact that their youngest son did something so horrid. Adding to this, Kale says, "Shut up, kids," without a hint of emotion.

Clara sounds the same when she says, "You two sound like the very animals that pushed Roaster to his limit."

Percie and Boxer obey, but glare at Roaster who looks down in shame. He looks back up when Clara tells him, "Son, look at us and be honest like you've been doing." Once his eyes meet hers she asks, "You liked the taste of real meat, fresh from another animal, didn't you?"

Roaster: "Yes ma'am..."

Kale: "And that made you want more, didn't it?"

Roaster: "Yes sir..."

Clara: "We are not surprised that one of our kids inherited the taste for living animal meat. We're wolves, it's what our species does. But we are very disappointed in you."

Just as Roaster starts to relax and tell himself how silly he was to think that he'd get a physical and verbal beating from his parents, Kale then says, "But what makes me angry is that you haven't just eaten predators. Oh no. You've eaten a few PREY ANIMALS TOO!" Even as Roaster's brain is still processing what his father shouted, Kale runs up and claw-swipes Roaster in the face.

Clara joins in by slashing his belly while yelling, "The very kind of animals our whole pack swore to protect! The very animals like your extended family!"

His parents' corporal punishment knocks the defense-talk back into Roaster who cries out, "They was just solitary! No family or friends! The equivalent of a human hobo!"

Kale bites Roaster's shoulder, slams his head to the ground, then keeps his head there with his pressing paw and says, "That's what RJ and Verne were before joining the familia!"

Clara shouts, "And Scarlet! And Reagan! And Ro-J! And Tim! And Zeke! And Mira!" while hitting Roaster in the gut every time she says a name. She only stops after knocking the wind out of him.

Kale gives Roaster time to catch his breath and then says, "Those few prey animals you ate could have found a loving family and made friends like so many of those in our family have. But no, you let your ego and selfish desire to prove yourself to others make you become the very thing we fought so hard against."

His voice strained from the pain, Roaster pleads, "I won't do it again! I promise!"

Clara: "How noble...but it's not enough! Your father and I need to ensure you won't eat another animal—predator or otherwise—again! And I think I know just what to do. Kids, hold 'im down!"

Roaster's wide eyes follow Clara in fear as she slowly stalks around his pinned body in the same way she would do to prey animals before meeting Kale. Since this is the first time Roaster has seen her like this, he is deathly afraid of her.

Roaster's vision turns to Kale when his father says "Y'know, if we were a real wolf pack who followed the Codes of Wolf Society, we'd give you the Mark of Shame for betraying your vows to your pack and family, which you did for first-world problem reasons like being picked on and feeling like you had to do more, when all that was needed of you was to be satisfied with what you already have. But we won't do that to you. We don't want to condemn your life, we just want to punish you and make you a better wolf."

Clara has now stopped in front of Roaster's face, and slowly inches her own into his while saying, "To do that, you will need a permanent reminder. Something you can never take off no matter how many times you shed or grow your fur coat." After a heart-pounding pause, Clara says, "After I'm done speaking, you've got one second to jam your eyes shut, if you don't wanna go blind."

Roaster has already done it before Clara even said her last six words. Still, she gives him one second after finishing. An instant later, Roaster screams as Clara uses her super strength to slice four jagged wolf claw marks above and below his left eye. It bleeds, it hurts like Clara struck deep into his bones, and when sweat falls from above and tears fall below, it burns and stings unlike anything Roaster has ever felt in his life. He keeps seething out, "AH!", "AUGH!" or "GRAH!" as his parents lecture him with cold, hard, steel lining their every word.

Kale: "Now, whenever you look at your reflection, you will remember why you got this scar."

Clara: "As a permanent reminder of your sins, and how you're not going to repeat them."

Kale: "Because if you do..." (Nods at Clara)

Clara: "I'll strike the same spot again, only even harder."

Roaster's fear of that makes him ignore the pain of opening his eyes wide on relfex as he asks, "Y-you mean you didn't hit me as hard as you could?!"

Clara: "If I used my full strength, half your face would be gone—bone and all. But this is discipline, not abuse."

Kale: "Now that you have your 'Mark of Remembrance,' I want you to promise us that you will never eat any animals as long as you're livin' with us, and never let any insults toward yourself or us make you want to prove others wrong.

Roaster: "I promise to never eat any animals as long as I'm livin' with you, and never let any insults about me or my family make me prove those who said it are wrong."

Clara: "Swear it!"

Roaster: "I swear it."

Kale: "Good. My nose tells me you are telling the truth, and out of genuine honesty instead of the fear of being punished in the same way again. Time for the next lesson. You need to learn how to take insults better. And to do that," (Voice tone shifts to soft and caring) "you need to love yourself—the good, bad, and mediocre. So once again, I've got to tell you the story of how I endured in my ex-pack, only now you'll get a different take on it because now I know you still feel like you're the weakest in our pack despite the talk we had about two weeks ago.

"You are not alone, son. I know what it's like to be the weakest wolf in a good pack."

Clara's voice also becomes soft and caring as she interjects, "It's a lot harder than being the only good wolf in a weak pack."

Kale: "But just 'cuz you can't smell as far as me or Boxer..."

Clara: "And can't hit as hard as me and Percie..."

Kale: "Doesn't mean you are the weakest wolf in our pack. On the contrary, it makes you better than the rest of us, because you have to work much harder to do things that we can do more easily."

Clara: "And other predators are going to insult you all your life for being in our family-pack, our extended family, and how we protect prey animals. But we are superior to all wolves and predators because we five all have it harder."

Even Boxer and Percie no longer follow, and give confused looks along with Roaster who asks, "What's that mean?"

Clara: "It's too easy to hate and eat prey animals. It's much harder for wolves—for all predators—to befriend them and protect them."

Kale: "We have to fight our animalistic instincts and species heritage, every second we breathe. It's, dare I say it, harder than fulfilling the Codes of Wolf Society, and you all know how I feel about doing that."

Clara: "So next time someone insults you for how you protect and don't eat prey animals like normal predators, take it as a compliment. Because it takes a lot more effort—and guts—to not eat something that's lower on the food chain."

Roaster is speechless. His parents' words amaze him, and make him feel ashamed for giving into his predatory instincts and eating those few prey animals, just to prove to other predators that he is not weak. "When in fact, I was just as weak as those who mocked me," he says in his head.

It is Boxer who expresses his wonderment verbally. "Whoa...I never thought of it like that before, mom and papá."

Kale: "There's a lot of things you, me, and your mom don't know kids. But education is life. No matter where you go, and what you go through, you learn new things about yourself, your loved ones, and the world you live in."

Clara: "And count your blessings that you have a loving family to help you through life's toughest moments." (Looks at Roaster and taps her left eye) "Even if some lessons have to be so hard that they'll be visible for life. I should know. See these?" (Points at the scars on her ribcage with one forepaw and puts her other forepaw forward to show the scars on it) "Your dad cracked several of my ribs and pierced all my paws because I made the mistake of thinking I had beaten someone who I believed was inferior to me."

Kale: "And all the scars you see on me came from my abusive ex-pack whenever I failed to meet their impossible standards. And the one on my face came from my gosh-forsaken, god-sister after I apologized to her for getting her ankle broken."

Clara: "That should've been my first clue that you were tougher than you looked when we fought each other, Kale."

Kale: "And now you look like someone who shouldn't be messed with, Roaster. Think of it as a badge of honor. Humans get tattoos, but wolves get scars to share stories about themselves."

Roaster's positive attitude finally returns as he says, "Not to mention the ladies will want to get to know me better. Thanks mom and papá!" Having learned his lesson and being re-taught how to live his life, the time for seriousness is over, and now Roaster brings back the wolf-talk when he looks at his siblings and pridefully brags, "See dis! I got somethin' to show off now that you's two don't have!"

Percie groans in anguish and then says, "Mom and papá, give me n' Boxer a scar too."

Feeling just as jealous, Boxer adds, "Yeah. It's dee only way Roaster will ev'a shut up."

Kale: "Sorry niños, ya's got ta earn 'em."

Clara: "And now dat we know you's two're green with envy, your dad and I will know if ya's just misbehavin' to get a scar."

The wolves laugh and then head-butt each other like American football players to show their affection. Sure, they may be one weird and messed up family with lots of issues and strange ways to show love, but at least they're a family. And with their extended relatives, they are something more.

Nothing can break up this family pack of wolves, or the hedgies' family...

Except the events they are about to face in the future, for even close families can fail. The question is what will be salvageable?

---

Another long-awaited chapter down! And one that keeps my early Holidays present tradition—at the time of this chapter's original 12/19/2022 posting—that I hope all you readers have been looking forward to.

This next bit of information should keep you hyped up for the next chapter whenever it gets posted: because there are SO MANY new characters for me to develop, this story may be my longest OTH story yet!

Thank you for your continued support and I look forward to posting Chapter 6 as much as you all will be in reading it when the time comes. In the meantime, I hope you continue having a great time with what myself and other OTH authors have provided you this year and what we will give to you in the future!