Chapter 30: Public Relations Part 2
The Mountain, Colorado, United States, Earth, August 27th, 1998 (Earth Time)
"So… that's the government-approved list of public relations experts." Catra craned her neck to look at the list in front of Adora. "Took you long enough. I would have thought sending us a copy of your payroll would be faster."
As expected, Daniel frowned at that. "We didn't get you a list of government employees," he said with a slight pout.
"We wouldn't have taken two days for that," O'Neill added with a smirk.
"Catra's joking," Adora said. "Thank you."
"Mostly joking," Catra corrected her lover. "I'm sure none of them is hostile towards the government."
"Few businesses are," Daniel said.
"None of them is hostile to their employers," O'Neill said.
"Colonel," Sam hissed.
"Just being open and honest," he defended himself. Then he grinned at Catra. "Besides, I'm sure you already assumed that anyway."
Catra matched his grin. "Of course."
Glimmer rolled her eyes. "It's generally thought to be both rude and crude to point that out."
"Well, I'm no diplomat," O'Neill said.
"As a number of unsuccessful first contacts can attest to," Daniel muttered.
"Hey! None of them was my fault… well, perhaps one or two…" Now O'Neill was pouting. "Anyway, here you got your list of American PR guys willing to sell their souls to land this job."
"We don't need their souls," Adora said. "We just need honest advice and expertise."
"Well, that's good - I think they sold their souls already. Or would have, if Earth had magic."
"That's not exactly how magic works," Glimmer commented.
"Yes. Unless that's how Earth magic works. I've never heard about soul magic until Earth. It sounds fascinating!" Entrapta beamed. "Can we measure souls and analyse them without harming them?"
"It's not quite clear if souls exist," Sam said.
"Those are myths. Souls… well, it's more a question of faith and belief," Daniel added. "Not something you can measure. Or even see."
That sounded like their gods to Catra: Imaginary things.
"Well, Earth tales of magic do seem to emphasise spirits and similar creatures," Glimmer said. "As do your religions. So, it might be possible that Earth magic is focused on spirits."
"That's not quite the same as what we think souls are," Daniel argued.
"Perhaps spirits are what happens when the original body dies, and the intangible consciousness hangs around?" Entrapta speculated.
"That's very fascinating, I'm sure," O'Neill said, "but we're here to talk about public relations."
"You don't like public relations, do you?" Catra asked.
Jack frowned at her. "They're a necessary evil. Too closely related to politics."
"Politics aren't evil," Daniel protested.
"My experience disagrees," O'Neill retorted.
Catra snorted. "Earth politics, maybe."
"Well, Alliance politics were sometimes frustrating as well," Adora said.
"We all know that," Glimmer said. "Let's talk about public relations." She picked up the list. "So, we've got half a dozen names here. Groups, mostly."
"Yes. We've vetted them," Sam said. "They're honest as far as we can tell - reasonably honest."
"For public relations people," O'Neill grinned.
Catra shook her head. "Your jokes are getting older than you."
"Hey! Low blow!" he protested.
"Can we focus on this list?" Adora was getting annoyed. And not the fun kind of annoyed.
"Sorry," Catra said in a low voice.
"Alright." Glimmer read the list. "They're in alphabetical order. No preferences?"
"Ah… no," Daniel said. "We don't really have much experience with this sort of business."
"We were too low on the totem pole to need such people," O'Neill explained. "And too secret."
"You sounded like you had personal experience," Catra pointed out.
"I have personal experiences with the constraints PR shackled us with," O'Neill said.
"I think that means he wasn't allowed to be as snarky and immature as he wanted," Daniel said.
"Hey!" But O'Neill was grinning.
"So… I guess we'll just meet with everyone and see who fits us best," Glimmer said.
"And you need to work out how to pay them," O'Neill said. "They won't work for free."
"That shouldn't be a problem," Bow said. "I've looked up the prices for space travel - passengers or cargo. Just transporting a satellite or two should give us enough cash to pay for them. Or we could offer to take a people to the Moon or Mars."
Catra suppressed a smirk when she saw how surprised the others were. Well, except for Daniel, who looked pointedly at O'Neill.
"You're going to offer space travel for cash?" O'Neill asked.
"It's an obvious service we can provide. There isn't much competition, and it won't require us to give away our technology," Glimmer replied.
"NASA's going to love this," he muttered.
"They will - if they can be the first to hire you," Sam said.
"How much would people pay to be the first person to visit Mars?" Daniel asked.
Catra grinned. It seemed the obvious way to make money for trade hadn't been as obvious to Stargate Command. Well, did they expect them to peddle their technology? Or hire out Adora as a healer for money?
As if Catra's lover would have accepted that. No, offering trips to space was the easiest way to get money.
Washington DC, United States, Earth, August 28th, 1998 (Earth Time)
"I'm not a politician. I shouldn't be here," Jack O'Neill grumbled as he shifted in the - admittedly very comfortable - seat in the White House's waiting room.
"We're here to advise the President and the cabinet, not to make policy," Daniel said, looking up from his book. Carter didn't look up from her laptop.
"I'm not a consultant either," Jack retorted.
"Jack! This is just a briefing - you've done those before."
"Under protest," Jack lied.
Daniel rolled his eyes and went back to reading.
Jack frowned. He was old; he had a right to be grumpy! Besides, he was sure that they would get the blame for whatever crazy thing the Etherians did next. "They haven't put up an ad for space cruises, have they?" he asked, looking at Carter.
"No, Sir," she replied.
"You haven't looked!" he accused her.
"I have a program checking for such things," Carter replied.
That was impressive. Jack hadn't known that they could do that.
"And Entrapta said she wanted to run the ad by us before they put it up," Carter added with a slightly embarrassed smile.
Jack groaned. "I was joking about the ad!"
"Well, Jack - how else would they advertise their services?" Daniel asked.
"By giving an interview?" Jack raised his eyebrows. "They wouldn't have to pay a dime that way."
"That's true," Daniel admitted. "How are they paying for an ad anyway?"
"Credit," Carter replied. "They don't have to pay immediately."
Jack couldn't help noting that Carter knew a lot about the Etherians' plans. "Been getting cosy with your mad science buddy, have we?" he asked, taking care to keep his tone light.
"I've been cooperating with our prospective allies as per our last orders, Sir," she replied, tensing a little.
So, his tone hadn't been light enough. Damn. "I'm not judging you," he told her. "I'm just a bit curious - and envious. They aren't as cosy with me."
"That's because the alien you've got the closest rapport with is prickly and too much like yourself," Daniel replied.
The alien he had what? Jack blinked. "What? Catra's a kid! We aren't alike at all!"
"She's a veteran with a dark past and hides her feelings behind dark humour and snark," Daniel explained. "That's like you with cat ears and a tail."
Jack glared at his friend. That was going too far. "She doesn't hide her feelings at all. She's quite blatant about public displays of affection with Adora," he retorted.
Daniel blinked, opened his mouth, then closed it again. What was his problem? And Carter was now hunched over so much, her face had disappeared behind her laptop.
Oh. Jack cursed himself, but before he could rectify the misunderstanding - and it was a misunderstanding, damn it! - the door was opened, and one of the White House interns peered inside. "Colonel O'Neill? Captain Carter? Dr Jackson? The President is now ready for you."
"Perfect timing," Jack muttered as he got up.
"Pardon?"
"Nothing." He waved the young woman off. "Let's not leave the President waiting."
"Thank you for coming. Please have a seat!" the President greeted them warmly as they entered the meeting room. The rest of the cabinet was more polite than friendly. And Kinsey, who, of course, had to be here for some damned reason, didn't bother smiling at all.
In return, Jack bared his teeth as their eyes met. If anyone asked, it counted as a smile.
"So!" The President clapped his hands together. "Things with the aliens have taken another turn."
"I'll say," the Secretary of Commerce. "My phone hasn't stopped ringing since news about their latest idea got out."
"Which was supposed to be a secret," the Secretary of Defense spat. "You've got a leak in your department!"
"It could have been any department," the Secretary of Commerce retorted.
"Well, at least it hasn't leaked to the press yet," The President said.
"Would save the Etherians some bucks for advertising," Jack said before he could stop himself.
Everyone turned to look at him. "They're planning to advertise?"
"Apparently," Jack said. He wouldn't throw Carter under the bus. "They seem to want to do things by the book."
"They have been watching Earth TV since their arrival, so they would be aware of many of our customs," Daniel said. "And they couldn't have missed advertising, even though that's not really known in their home."
"Will they apply for a license to operate commercial aircraft?" the Secretary of Transportation asked. "If they do, would we have to certify their craft?"
"We haven't exactly asked them to get their spaceship certified," the Secretary of Defense remarked.
"But they didn't operate it as a commercial transport," the Secretary of Transportation replied. "That's different now."
"You want to set the FAA on the Etherians?" The Secretary of Commerce sounded shocked.
"I wonder how they'll take the fact that Darla is a thousand years old," Daniel muttered next to Jack.
"Folks," the President spoke up, "let's not quibble over regulations. We all know that if we won't let them do this, another country will jump at the chance."
"And NASA will be pissed," the Secretary of Defense added. "They're already starting a crash program to get a Mars habitat ready."
"But what if something goes wrong? What if there's an accident?" the Secretary of Transportation objected. "What if a spaceship crashes on a city?"
"We can weather such a crash better than a complete crash of the economy," the Secretary of Commerce said. "And if we alienate the aliens, that is what will happen."
Jack clenched his teeth and kicked Daniel before his friend could blurt out something impolite. That was one of the reasons he hated politics.
"Surely it can't be that bad?" the Secretary of Transportation objected.
"Have you seen the latest report from my department?" The Secretary of Commerce scoffed. "The global economy is reeling. People are worried about the war. The only thing that kept the stock market from crash-diving into crushing depths is the hope that the aliens will usher in a new golden age thanks to their technology - and even with that factor, the panic is greater, especially in many developing countries. And the number of startups that can't get money is increasing rapidly because everyone thinks their ideas and products are already obsolete.."
"And in the established industry, people scale back their staff. We didn't have large numbers of workers getting laid off yet, but it's just a question of time if this continues," the Secretary of Labor added. "They know that not everyone will profit from the coming tech revolution."
"And even the corporations hoping to profit from the aliens are worried," Kinsey spoke up for the first time. "Several aerospace industries reached out to foreign firms for possible joint-ventures, but the reception in Europe has been… less than enthusiastic." He looked grim, Jack noted, but Kinsey was an accomplished liar. "I've called a few contacts in the United Kingdom, and they told me that their firms aren't convinced that the United States will manage to get an alliance with the aliens."
"What? We've been working closely with them - we just stopped some zombie plague and captured alien infiltrators!" the Secretary of Transportation protested. "They haven't even talked with the United Kingdom!"
"The British have been active in the United Nations," the Secretary of State replied. "And they've been preparing the field, so to speak - they're rushing through pro-gay legislation, so when they officially talk, they can present themselves as the most progressive country. It's the same with the French and the Germans."
"Their industrial leaders are putting pressure on them to make a deal, same as ours," the Secretary of Commerce added. "Only, they can ignore the religious conservatives."
"So can we," the Secretary of Transportation retorted. "They're not our problem. We can replace 'don't ask, don't tell' easily enough."
Daniel cleared his throat.
"Yes, Dr Jackson?" The President nodded at them.
"The Etherians are aware of how easily 'don't ask, don't tell' - or something worse - could be reinstated by a new president," Daniel explained. "And they are aware that you're limited to two terms, Mr President."
The President nodded. "And they're used to monarchs ruling for much longer times."
"Magical princesses," someone muttered.
"Yes, Mr President," Daniel confirmed. Jack knew he struggled not to add: 'I've already told you so'. "And, well… they expect full rights for gay people. Several western countries are passing laws to legalise gay marriage."
"Laws they can change much more easily than we can change ours," the Secretary of Transportation grumbled.
"But they also don't have their nutcases screaming to burn witches on live television," the Secretary of State added. "We do. That's not a good optic."
"He was arrested," someone else said.
Jack winced and raised his hand.
The President looked at him. "Colonel O'Neill?"
"They voiced concern about a possible frame job," he said - carefully not looking at Kinsey.
"Great. The absolute monarchs care about due process," someone else sighed.
"Many of the more extremist religious leaders have been a bit lax with regards to financial regulations," Kinsey commented. "I feel that several of them will want to avoid drawing attention that might lead to an investigation."
"Will that be enough to mollify the aliens?" the Secretary of Commerce asked.
Daniel pursed his lips. "They also mentioned that it's hard to trust people who break their own rules and laws when convenient but won't change them. It's like… they do respect our customs - mostly - and understand that our legal and legislative procedures and rules are different, but they aren't as understanding when we don't follow our own laws. It's a trust issue."
"But they trust you," the Secretary of Defense said. "They consulted your team to hire PR consultants, and you've fought together."
"Yes, but that's a personal relationship which doesn't extend to the United States as a country," Daniel explained.
"So, as a gesture of trust, we need to change the laws." The President looked at Kinsey.
Kinsey nodded. "My people are still working on the other party. This whole magic business has several key members worried about their constituents. No one wants to be primaried for 'consorting with witches'."
"Actual witches, as I understand," the President said. He sighed.
"But we've got leverage - we have the Stargate. And we have alien technology. And the most experienced and powerful army in the world," the Secretary of Labor said. "Surely we could find a compromise?"
"We'll lose the Stargate," the Secretary of State told him. "The other nations in the Security Council are bickering over the details, but everyone is in agreement that the Stargate belongs to the whole planet."
"And we can't stand against the entire world," the Secretary of Defense added.
"We'0ve got a spare gate, don't we?" The Secretary of Labor looked at SG-1. "Can't we hand that one over and keep the first?"
"Stargates on the same planet tend to interfere with each other," Carter explained. "It's not entirely safe running two on the same planet."
"To be fair, with all a Stargate entails, it is hard to argue that they shouldn't belong to the entire world," the Secretary of Education said.
"And 'one gate for us, one for the rest of the world' won't really go over well either," the Secretary of State said.
"What about the war we're fighting?" the Secretary of Labor asked.
That was Jack's cue. After a nod from the president, he said: "The Ehterians have a space fleet. They need ground troops - but given our performance so far against the Goa'uld, pretty much any modern military will have the troops to beat the Goa'uld on the ground if they have support from space." And between all of their countries, the Europeans had enough ground troops for that.
"So, we might have the most experience and the best troops, but we're not irreplaceable," the Secretary of Defense said.
"What about our alien technology?"
Jack glanced at Carter. That was her field.
Dulles International Airport, Washington DC, Earth, August 28th, 1998 (Earth Time)
"Hello, Mr Finnigan." Adora smiled as friendly as she could at the man in a suit. "Please have a seat."
"Thank you, Your Highness. Your Highness. Your Highness. Miss Catra. Mister Bow." The man nodded at all of them as he took a seat in Darla's lounge. He wasn't gawking around any more, unlike when he had entered the ship.
Adora glanced at Catra, who seemed ready to comment on her form of address. "Don't," she whispered.
Her lover snorted as the man opened his suitcase and pulled out one of the small computers with a keyboard that they liked on Earth - a laptop, they were called. Catra found the name very amusing for some reason she hadn't shared yet.
"So, Mr Finnigan, you represent Mackenzie and Sons," Glimmer said when the man seemed finished setting up.
"Yes. We're a traditional consultant firm specialising in public relations." He nodded, then added with a smile: "You certainly don't need any introduction - I think everyone on Earth knows you by sight now."
"I don't think everyone has seen pictures of us," Entrapta retorted at once. "And we've got data that there are several communities which do not follow global media. So, not everyone would recognise us on sight. And we also need to consider that not every human being has the same ability to recognise individuals based on pictures. So, I would say we are probably known to the majority of the population of Earth, but not to everyone." She nodded several times.
Finnigan blinked, and his smile slipped a little. "Ah, yes, of course. Thank you for the correction."
"No problem!" Entrapta beamed at him. "I'm happy to help!"
Glimmer cleared her throat. "So, do you know why we are looking to hire a public relations expert?"
"You want to get your message out to the people on Earth and control your image," Finnigan replied at once. "Mackenzie and Sons specialise in that sort of task. Whatever your message, we can get it out - and make people accept it."
Adora frowned a little. "Whatever our message?"
"We're professionals, Your Highness."
"Just Adora," she interrupted him. 'Your Highness' reminded her of how Priest addressed her.
"Certainly, Adora. Anyway, we're professionals - we don't care about your message or your goals, only how we can present them to your target demographic in the most effective way possible."
He didn't care about their message or their goals? Adora blinked.
"Sounds very mercenary," Catra commented.
His polite smile turned a bit more genuine, or so Adora thought. "That is one way to look at it. We don't judge our clients or try to influence them - we don't have a horse in any race. All we want is to do our best to help our clients."
"And to earn money," Glimmer said.
"Of course."
"But what if we had goals that would run counter to your personal principles?" Bow asked.
"As I said, we're professionals. Whatever the client wants, they get. Our own private views play no part in this. We've worked for politicians from both parties in the USA - usually at the same time, albeit in different areas."
"I see." Glimmer's smile was also very polite.
"...and I was thinking that you are a shoo-in for the younger market - the younger demographics. They can identify with you. They, too, are faced with a world of adults who do not take them seriously due to their age, and they often feel alienated from their parents because of their different life experiences. And, of course, you already cover part of the teenage pop culture - magical princesses? Catgirls? The ads practically write themselves! What you mostly need help with are the older generations." Miss Glendale beamed. "And we at PR Solutions Inc. know how to catch them. Leave it to us, and you'll reap the benefits of a targeted campaign in no time!"
Adora had the distinct impression that Miss Glendale, who was about forty, didn't really take them seriously either.
"I think for the older generation - especially those who remember the Second World War - we should focus on your war experiences. That will create common ground. Of course, you'll have to manage your appearances; what appeals to the younger demographic won't appeal to the older demographic. I would suggest you split your appearances. Some of you focus on the younger targets - I would think you, Adora, and Catra, are best suited for that since they are the most tolerant demographic and you fit several popular archetypes in comics and animation - while Queen Glimmer should focus on the older demographic. We'll have to see what the polls say about your choice of partner to decide whether or not to emphasise your relationship in contrast to Adora and Catra's or not. But I think with careful brand managing, your approval rates should soar."
Adora wasn't sure if she wanted to be managed. But she was sure that she wasn't a brand.
"I'll be frank - you've got some real issues when it comes to public relations. I took the liberty to have our data department run some polls in preparation for this interview, and, honestly, you're very polarising. The liberal urban population is poised favourably towards you, especially the younger generation, but the politically active part of that demographic is somewhat sceptical of your political views with regard to democracy. And the fringe groups there are concerned about being colonised. Still, that's your core support demographic - they share a number of your values and can be worked with." Mr Brown, of 'Brown, Wallander and Co.', nodded.
"However, on the other end of the spectrum, the Evangelicals are, at best, very sceptical. At worst, they loathe you. You represent everything they fear - you're literal aliens, you have same-sex and interracial couples, you don't follow their religion and you can do magic. And you're very open about everything." He took a deep breath. "And between those, you have the average American - they're sceptical, worried about the war and the changes that your arrival will cause to their lives, but also hesitantly optimistic. You need to convince those that you're not here to destroy their way of life but to help them if you want their support. Brown, Wallander and Co. can help you there, but whether or not they will be convinced depends on your actual plans for the planet."
The man - middle-aged and balding - sounded quite… Adora would say 'professional', but Finnigan had called himself that, and she didn't want to associate Brown with that.
"And, of course, this all depends on what is your ultimate goal," the man went on. "Do you need popular support to put pressure on the government? Or on certain factions in Congress?"
"We would like it if we didn't have to fear that whatever changes to your laws the current President does, the next one undoes - after we have shared our technology and magic," Glimmer summed it up. "And, as far as we know, for some reason, the people who loathe us have a comparable greater influence on your politics than their numbers and economic power would suggest."
"And that is because your democracy is weirder than most other democracies we saw," Catra added.
Brown nodded with a wry smile. "Yes, the system does favour certain demographics. Which in turn, means politics favour them. But changing - breaking up - that conservative alliance will be difficult. Not impossible - you already have big business on your side, so to speak, and the big donors are putting pressure on the usual suspects to change their policies - but a lot of the politicians involved need the Evangelicals to keep their positions."
Adora frowned. Such people shouldn't be in power.
"So, what can we do?" Bow asked.
"We - that is, Brown, Wallander and Co. - can help you with battling the Evangelical propaganda." Brown nodded. "But you won't really convince the hardcore Evangelicals since, in their eyes, you are a threat to their way of living."
Adora shook her head. "We aren't. All we want are equal rights for people like us."
Brown's smile turned sad. "They see that as a threat because their way of life includes forcing their views on everyone else. So, don't expect miracles. Some of them can be reached, but many, perhaps even most, won't change."
"Which means we need to hit the switch voters?" Catra asked - she and Adora had read up on American politics, though Adora didn't think that was the correct term.
"In a way. You mostly need to convince most of the rest of the conservative base that legalising gay marriage and magic isn't going to turn them into gay witches."
"They actually believe that?" Adora blurted out.
"Yes." Brown nodded. "Part of the reason for that is, of course, that no one really knows what magic can do. The rumours of a zombie plague didn't help there."
Adora winced.
"Well, we don't exactly know what Earth magic will do," Entrapta spoke up. "But based on your myths and history, I don't think the sexual preferences of people will be changed."
"I see." Brown slightly inclined his head. "In any case, Brown, Wallander and Co. can help you improve your image in the United States. No more and no less."
"Thank you, Mr Brown. We'll contact you once we have made our decision," Gimmer said.
"...and if you want to improve your image, you need to optimise your presentation. Get people to focus on your strengths and ignore your flaws. Give the public what they want. You're young, attractive and fighting evil body-snatching aliens. That's enough to forgive a lot of sins - people love war heroes. Keep your private life private, and you'll have them singing your praises soon enough. Of course, if you really want to gain the Evangelicals' support, then converting to their faith would be a big help - they love repenting sinners." Alois Baker, of Smith and Baker, flashed pearly white teeth. "As long as you go through the motions, you're set and can do what you want in private. Most of them do the same, after all."
"Thank you," Adora lied. "We'll stay in touch."
"Frankly, trying to correct your image by catering to the kind of people who rant about hell and damnation is a fool's quest." Julie Callaghan shook her head. "You won't ever win over most of them - unless you're white, male, straight and Christian, they will never accept you as equals. You have to change them if you want them to stop hating you, and that will take a lot of time, and you won't be able to change all of them."
"That's kind of pessimistic," Bow said.
"It's realistic. You can't win them all, so you need to decide who you want to support you. I've advised several politicians and I've always told them that if they have to lie to gain the support of a group, if they have to hide their real self, play a role, put up a facade, then that will, sooner or later, blow up in their faces. Someone will tell on you and the truth will get out. And that will cost you a lot more support than any lies could gain you."
Adora nodded in full agreement. As did her friends. Well, Catra smirked, but that counted.
"But ignoring them won't really stop people calling for our deaths," Glimmer pointed out.
"Oh, you shouldn't ignore them - but you shouldn't bend over to cater to them. Stress what you have in common. Whether gay or straight, most people want a loving, happy relationship. They want their children to be happy and safe. You want them to realise that they aren't losing anything that matters just because gay people can marry." Julie smiled before turning serious. "Of course, magic complicates that."
Adora sighed.
"So, the first question you need to answer is: What do you want? What is your ultimate goal? Then we can find out who you need to target and focus on them. Don't waste your money on people who don't matter, I always say - targeted ads are where it's at. And once you have your target group defined, you analyse it and then go for the opinion leaders. The world works top-down - but, being monarchs, you'd know that, wouldn't you?" Mr Cassidy, of Cassidy Analytics, smiled. It was a nice smile, but a little… Adora couldn't really put it down, but it felt a little condescending.
"According to what we know, the United States are a democracy, and public opinion greatly influences policies," Glimmer told him.
"Yes, yes, polls make policies, I always say. But people don't make individual decisions - people are, by and large, followers. The democratic ideal of the informed voter, carefully weighing the pros and cons before making a decision, is an illusion. People don't think. They pick a candidate by gut feeling. Or because someone they trust told them to. And those people - the opinion leaders and shapers - are your targets." Cassidy nodded at his own words. "Let's take the Catholic Church. You don't change the opinions of the Catholic Church by appealing to the masses - you influence the Pope because the Catholics listen to him. Well, they listen, and then they break their own rules all the time, but the Catholic Church considers all of humanity as sinners for a reason, right?" Another smile appeared.
Adora frowned. That sounded… well…
"And who leads those opinion leaders?" Catra asked.
"Well, those who know how they tick and how they can be motivated." And again, he smiled. "You, if you hire me."
"But how do you influence people who believe that their god wants us to die?" Bow asked.
"Oh, they don't - the leaders never believe their own words. It's all an act." Cassidy chuckled. "They're too smart to fall for the lies they tell their rubes."
"You think every leader is like that?" Adora asked.
"I know it."
"Thank you. We'll contact you once we have made our decision," Glimmer said.
Washington DC, United States, Earth, August 28th, 1998 (Earth Time)
"...and so it is my informed opinion that the United States couldn't match a program by other industrialised nations supported by the Etherians with a domestic effort of our own." Samantha Carter finished her explanation.
Or so she thought - the Secretary of Commerce frowned at her. "But we have more samples of alien technology than any other nation. And we have the most experience - I distinctly remember the budget for the Stargate program and the research into adapting advanced technology for domestic production. Are you telling me that all the claims made by Stargate Command were false?"
"No, Sir," Sam replied, managing not to frown. "I stand by our claims - but, as our reports clearly state, it will take considerable time until we can reasonably expect results - even accounting for the lack of secrecy now," she added before the man could bring that up. "We simply don't have the resources the Etherians can provide. We have a dozen scientists who have been researching alien technology - for the Etherians, this technology is what they work with. They can provide engineers and technicians to their partners who have been working with this technology all their lives - and know it inside out."
Most of them were clones, as far as Sam knew, but there were hundreds if not thousands of former Horde soldiers who had experience building and maintaining Horde technology as well. She went on: "While we will be trying to teach our engineers and technicians the basics of the technology, the Etherians will be teaching their partners how to build and run factories for finished products."
"Ah."
"Our assets would, of course, use any opportunity to gain information and knowledge," Kinsey added, "but I don't have to explain to you that that would never replace such a deal."
"And it might be seen as an unfriendly act," the President added.
"It would be an unfriendly act," Daniel corrected him. Many glared at Sam's friend for his remark, but he raised his chin and weathered the hostility.
"So, you see - we need that alliance if we want to maintain our technological and miliary lead," the Secretary of Defense said.
"Easier said than done. The Etherians don't understand how our system works." The Secretary of State snorted. "Or, rather - they do understand, but they don't care."
"They're concerned about the extremist elements in our country," the Secretary of Education said. "And with good reason, I dare say."
"Tell that to the conservatives," the Secretary of State grumbled.
"We did speak with them," Kinsey said. "They understand the problem, but… they have some difficulties reining in the radical fringe they cultivated for so long."
"Die Geister die ich rief, die werd ich nicht mehr los." The Secretary of Education chuckled.
"That's from Goethe's 'The Sorcerer's Apprentice'," Daniel whispered.
"I don't remember Mickey Mouse speaking German," the Colonel replied in a whisper.
Daniel looked shocked for a moment - until he realised the Colonel was teasing.
"Well, their problems are now our problems," the Secretary of State said. "We can't get a good deal if people keep screaming to burn witches on live television."
"We can't limit Free Speech," the Attorney General said.
The Secretary of Defense muttered something that Sam couldn't hear. She was certain that it wasn't a compliment.
"We could reclassify calling for a lynch murder as inciting violence," the Secretary of Education said.
"We can't keep people from quoting the Bible!" the Attorney General replied. "It would violate both Free Speech and Freedom of Religion!"
"We certainly could!" the Secretary of Education snapped. "If it's done to incite violence, it shouldn't be protected."
"The press would crucify us," the Secretary of Transportation said.
"The press will crucify us if we don't get a deal," the Secretary of Commerce retorted.
The President looked at the Attorney General. "Can you talk to the Supreme Court? Ask them if national interests would be considered in a ruling whether or not the definition of inciting violence could be expanded?"
"I don't think they'll be receptive to that," the man replied. "They generally don't value economic interests higher than our freedoms. And they don't react well to any political pressure."
The President scowled for the first time. "Remind them that we're not just talking about the economy - we've got a fleet crewed by religious fanatics in orbit, and our religious fanatics are talking in public about burning their goddess and her consort. This is a clear and present danger for our country."
"Also, not too many of our allies agree that calling for murder should be protected by Free Speech," the Secretary of State added. "It's not as if we're talking about violating the UN charter of human rights here."
The President nodded. "Yes. I'm not asking to suspend our freedoms - I am asking for a bit of common sense."
The Attorney General sighed. "I'll see what I can do. Maybe we can use the lynching angle."
And the Colonel muttered: "Common sense? From lawyers?"
Dulles International Airport, Washington DC, Earth, August 28th, 1998 (Earth Time)
"So…" Catra stretched her arms over her head. "Who do we pick?"
"Not Smith and Baker!" Adora blurted out. "They're too…"
"..dishonest, cynical and smug?" Catra asked.
"Yes!" Adora nodded emphatically. "Too manipulative."
Catra pressed her lips together. That summed it up.
"Well, we want to manipulate public opinion, don't we?" Entrapta asked.
"We want to improve public opinion - but not by manipulating people like Cassidy wanted to," Adora retorted. "I don't want to hire him either."
Not like Shadow Weaver would have done it. "Neither of them cared about our goals and principles - only the end result."
"And the end doesn't justify the means," Bow agreed.
Catra glanced at Glimmer, but she didn't contradict Bow. Instead, she said: "And such manipulations tend to blow up in your face."
Catra clenched her teeth. Like her own. She had been so stupid! She had been… A hand on her thigh distracted her. She looked to her side. Adora smiled at her, shaking her head. Alright.
"So, we're all in agreement: Smith and Baker as well as Cassidy Analytics are out," Glimmer said. "What about Mackenzie and Sons?"
"I don't like them," Bow said. "They didn't seem to care at all about what we are doing."
"They only care about money," Catra said. Such people had their uses - but only if you didn't have any other options. And you couldn't trust people who were in it for the money. "They might sell us out if the offer is good enough. Or use what they learn after they stop working for us."
"I don't think they would still be in business if they did that," Glimmer objected. "No client would trust them."
"If they keep their knowledge for their own use, who would be able to tell?" Catra retorted. "I vote for not hiring them."
"Yes," Adora agreed.
"Me too," Glimmer added. "That leaves…PR Solutions, Brown, Wallander and Co. and Julie Callaghan."
"The woman from PR Solutions was pushy," Entrapta said.
"And she talked as if we were children," Adora added.
Catra thought the same. "She acted as if she would take over. But we're looking for a consultant, not a commander."
Glimmer scowled. "Yes. So, all in agreement that they're unsuitable?"
Everyone nodded.
"What about Brown, Wallander and Co.?" Catra asked.
"I like their method!" Entrapta piped up. "He came with data!"
"And he didn't make big promises," Bow added.
"Yes. And he didn't treat us like idiots," Adora said.
"So, we'll hire them. What about Julie Callaghan?" Glimmer asked.
"She seemed a lot like him," Catra said.
"But she didn't have any data," Entrapta pointed out.
"I think she simply didn't gather fresh data like Brown did," Bow told her. "But her conclusions were close to his."
"So… should we hire her as well? We need more than one consultant so we can check their plans, but if she thinks like Brown…" Glimmer shrugged.
"Well, if they have the same correct answer to the same question, then that's a good thing," Entrapta said.
"Yes," Catra said. "But we need a few consultants who aren't Americans. Or referred by the government."
"Yes. But I think we should hire these two," Adora said. "They made a good impression."
"And their rates are reasonable. I think," Bow said. "Compared to the others, at least."
"Alright. Let's hire them. And then see what we can do about those nutcases," Glimmer said.
"And then see who else we can hire," Catra corrected her. "And see how many trips to space we can sell."
"Yes." Adora nodded. "We need to get money to pay them, after all. Let's hope we get enough offers."
Catra snorted. Sometimes, Adora was an idiot. But she was her idiot.