Over the Hedge: Second Generation

by starwars4life

Set 15 years after Midsummer Crises. The kids and young adult hedgies are now grown adults and must continue to carry out what their parents have taught them about heists, fun, friendship, love, and family. But will the problems they now encounter as parents and mates make the hedge family grow stronger and larger, or break apart and get smaller?

14. Mission Very Possible

Hello again, fellow reader(s) and Over the Hedge fans! We've been in a drought lately...an Over the Hedge Fan Fiction drought! (at the time of this July 20, 2024 posting). I'd say it's time to break the drought with a fresh, new chapter! And hopefully this posting on July 20, 2024 will make other authors update too!

Chapter 14: Mission Very Possible

At night, the group of predators have all gathered at a large section of the forest that all animals use as a cemetery. Like the playground zone, the animal cemetery is an area where no predators can hunt prey animals, and the bodies of the deceased are protected from scavengers by some nocturnal and diurnal animals who keep a constant watch over the area. Normally, the predators would have been driven away, but their efforts during the day to convince the forest population to side with them have been most fruitful. They are now allowed unhindered access to wherever they choose. If any animal is foolish enough to stop them, the animal will be looking for a new state to live before s/he can stammer out an apology. If s/he is lucky. (1)

But such a fatal misunderstanding will not happen tonight, because the predators have come here to bury their dead: Ted Jr. the bear, Cot and Moc the water moccasins, Bob the coyote, Guarsi the mountain lion, and Cen the hawk.

To most of the prey animals they either intimidated or ate today, this group of carnivores were heartless killers whose only emotions were hatred and malice. But this is far from the truth, as this group (minus the owls) does feel all emotions, including loss.

The snakes, coyotes, pumas, and hawks had seen or heard their family members die, bleeding and in great pain (2). Only Ted Sr. and Edith feel left out since they merely heard of their son, Ted Jr.'s death. Despite both of his parents having super strength and resilience, Ted Jr., somehow, did not inherit these. He was strong, but when compared to this group, his super strength and resilience were below-average. Against a normal animal he'd win, but against an animal like Clara, he would lose. And even the toughest among the predators here would be no match for bullets like the ones that took Ted Jr.'s life.

The hawks are still torn up about Cen's death, but here with their allies they are not alone, because Don has also taken the deaths of his daughter Cot and son Moc pretty badly. After all, he had asked for them specifically to come to the bomb shelter's emergency exit tunnel that the wolves would come out of. If he had asked one of the adult snakes instead, maybe his kids would still be alive. Because they were so young when their average-strength mother got killed by an eagle, Cot and Moc had looked up to their father as a role model and listened to him like a coach. Don had promised on his mate's grave that he would look after their kids, and he failed. If his mate, Casey, had not died from the eagle, she certainly would have died from disappointment. Also like with Cen's death, nothing the other snakes have said to Don has put him in a better mood. His brothers Vipe and Pit-V have accurately said that Cot and Moc had always been blinded by their rage at the injustices other animals had done to them for being snakes. His son and daughter never questioned him, never had any doubts, never talked back, and never argued. But Don wishes they had questioned or shown doubts toward his decision; that they had talked back or had argued about if he knew what he was doing. Better to get into trouble arguing with their dad, than get dead by following him like fanatics.

The fiber of Bob the coyote's being was driven by his superiority complex instilled into his brain from birth since his parents Harry and Canis agreed to raise their kids telling them to be all they could be. Bob's death has finally made Harry and Canis question if they raised their son the right way, and they now fear for the safety of their remaining kids Latresa, Daniel, and Ashley. The parents blamed themselves so much, that they actually told their three kids, "We are death-magnets. If I were you, I'd run." The three refused, but could not say anything to stop the crying. It was their ex-mortal enemies the bobcats who succeeded in this endeavor. In the most heart-warming way possible, the felines pointed out how Bob was so impulsive and gun-ho, even compared to his parents and siblings, and how he loved to joke and kid around. Coupled with his optimistic personality, that is what the coyotes and bobcats will always remember Bob for. Equally important is for them to remember who took such a gem away from them and to exact just vengeance.

Also what most animals would not understand from these predators based on their words and actions today is that there was a time when they too were young and joyful. Every creature—even the evilest humans who ever lived—was a kid once. They laughed, played, joked, daydreamed, and had a pure heart full of excitement and naiveté before they hardened. But the one predator who remained his cheerful, carefree self was Guarsi the mountain lion. Like all children, Jagson, Guarsi, and Lepo had loved to play pretend and various games like tag and hide and seek. Jagson and Lepo outgrew such kiddie things, but Guarsi did not. He retained his childhood imagination as well as sense of wonder and excitement. Nothing could ever put him in a bad mood, and his response to insults or attacks was, "No worries. You didn't hurt my smile or spirit!" Even when he killed other animals he would always say, "Sorry, but there's no other way."

The pumas and other predators are not good animals, but Guarsi was. If Guarsi was a human, one would say he represented the best of humanity, and the world has become a lesser place now that he is dead. So much was lost with him, so much kindness (by predator standards), innocence, and spirit. He embodied the best that was in pumas. He was a part of his family, and a part of them died with him, the small part that was still young, that had not grown cynical, bitter, and old with death. They will remember Guarsi because of the small things that made them love him—his demeanor, the words he spoke, and his happy-go-lucky nature. They loved him for what he was and how he was (2). This has made the mountain lions' fight against the hedgies a holy war.

But the biggest crusaders against the hedgies are undoubtedly the hawks and ravens. The loss of Cen and the mutilation of Poe has done the unthinkable: united the bullies with the bullied. Before, the ravens and hawks were always tearing at each other's throats: insulting, contradicting, and taking cheap shots at every possible opportunity. Now, the hawks' sadness, guilt, and rage at the events that led to Cen's death have merged with the ravens' sadness, guilt, and rage at what has happened to Poe. Cen's overly-emotional nature had always caused more trouble than she is worth, and her family never showed how much they loved her until after she died. She died believing they never cared about her at best, and wished she was never born at worst. They will never rest until they show Cen's soul that they do care about her and were glad that she was born.

The ravens' newfound hatred of the hedgies is simpler. Unlike Cen, Poe is still alive, but his current condition makes him wish he was dead. No right eye, all the feathers on one wing gone, acid burns forever scarring his body, and breathing problems that resemble asthma. From now on, his "life" will be one of never-ending pain and suffering. It's worse than what that Darth Vader guy had to live with from Star Wars because Poe doesn't have a magical power to make things easier for himself, or a suit with built-in life support that multiplies his strength. No one will say it here and now, but Poe's pride in his masochism is also to blame. Had he not enjoyed pain so much and taunted Elroy, he would not have been tortured as horribly.

In short, the predators who lost their lives (and the one who is permanently injured) were the more headstrong and careless ones who had never been particularly bright or competent. Their deaths have "purified the gene pool," leaving only the smartest and strongest alive to win against the hedgies. But their families had loved them, very much (3). Only the owls do not join them. After hearing from the hawks and ravens how Bubo and his family treat death and "negotiate" with the enemy, the owls were required to perch in nearby trees to keep watch in silence. Like always, they didn't care about their exclusion.

The moon begins to rise, and they stare out at the mounds of dirt where their loved ones have been buried, most unhappy that they have died. The living ones could choose not to employ their emotions, but they had been with their deceased for many years; it seemed appropriate. They could take the opportunity to seize more power in the woods, but they instead bow their heads before their relatives' and friends' graves, experiencing the sadness (3). They let their instincts tell them when they are finished and can talk about what must be done.

Godmother Hollythorn: "Given what we's been through today, and that our enemies are in a place of relative safety, I'd say the plan is ta take some time off to recoup and recover."

Vul: "Indubitably."

Jamai: "We can't relax until we avenge Cen!"

Monty: "The same goes for us until we get justice for Guarsi!"

Edgar: "And Poe!"

Ted Sr.: "This is not a request. It's an order. We need to rest and get our heads together."

Blackthorn: "If any of you's need it, we'd be happy ta knock you's out cold so you can go to sleep that way."

Bu: "Enough, girls! We will get revenge for Cen, but if we were too tired to defeat two measly ducks, we have to regain our strength. It won't be easy, but we will get some sleep."

Lyn the bobcat shakes her head yes and says, "Once we're refreshed and renewed, we'll meet up here and resume our plans. Agreed?"

There are no objections, and the predators go their separate ways to get to their new shelters. They can only hope their enemies will have just as much trouble sleeping as they will.

Note: (1)=Based on Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire by Steve Perry.

(2)=Based on A Rumor of War by Philip Caputo.

(3)=Based on Resident Evil Volume VI: Code Veronica by S.D. Perry.

---

Reagan's much-needed beauty sleep is sadly ruined when Ro-J shakes her while saying, "Reagan, wake up! Reagan, wake up!"

Reagan groggily yawns out, "What is it?" while rubbing her eyes.

Ro-J: "Mama and dad are gone! We can finally play!"

Reagan wonders why he sounds so happy, not to mention much younger. But when her eyes open, she isn't in the house Group 3 is lodged in, but rather her old home. Knowing how this memory will turn out, Reagan is about to warn Ro-J not to go outside, but before she can the kit is too excited and fast despite his malnourishment and is out of the burrow. She gives chase while also shouting, "No, Ro-J! Don't!" but is too late.

From outside, Ro-J lets out a yelp of surprise and asks, "Mama and dad?! Wh-where'd you come from?"

The instant Reagan gets outside, her mind is blown away when her "real" parents are the ones she is seeing.

Pat: "The same place all creatures come from: our parents."

Bernard: "But enough jokes, let's play! Who wants a piggyback ride?"

Pat: "And who wants horsey?"

Reagan's excitement returns as she energetically shouts, "Piggyback!" while raising her paw.

Ro-J is just as excited when he shouts, "Horsey!" while jumping up and down.

Each kit goes to the respective parent and everyone has a blast. But it's Reagan who out-happies even Ro-J because, as her mind says, "My new memories are erasing and replacing my old ones!"

An aggressive feminine voice then asks, "What're you doing with our kits?"

Reagan's happiness now turns into fear at the sight of Robbie and Monica who have shown up.

Pat answers Monica's question with, "What you should have done to them all your lives: love them."

Robbie: "Pah-leese, no parents really love their kids. They're boring, annoying, overly-needy, selfish, and make things harder than they already are."

Bernard: "All of that is true, but the joy, love, spirit, creativity, and growing maturity they bring always outshines the downsides."

Monica: "Blah-blah...But you still can't grasp the truth that they're still our kits, not yours."

Reagan wants to tell her first parents why they are her "adopted" ones and why her current parents are her "real" ones, but is too afraid to speak up.

Fortunately, Pat does this. "Well, news to you: Reagan and Ro-J have accepted us as their real parents because of the love and care we have given them—like real parents should do. You and Robbie are their 'adopted' parents because of the abuse and cruelty you have done to them."

Robbie's and Monica's paws clench into fists and they lock hateful eyes with Reagan and Ro-J.

Robbie: "Is that so?"

Monica: "Well then, I guess we'll have to re-adopt them!"

Ro-J (terrified): "Mamaaaaaa! Da-aaaad!"

Reagan (ditto): "Don't let them take us back!"

Bernard: "Don't worry. We promise they won't get you!"

Pat: "We'll fight them with everything we have!"

Robbie's evil grin seems to stretch ear-to-ear. He then says, "Good..." diabolically.

Pat and Bernard place Ro-J and Reagan on the ground and get out weapons from Bernard's trusty bag. But knowing they have to defeat Robbie and Monica, Pat and Bernard get "decked out" like two action movie characters before the final battle. The raccoon and opossacoon are covered head to toe in gadgets and weapons. Robbie and Monica only look bored, and crack their knuckles once Pat and Bernard charge toward them.

Because Reagan and Ro-J have seen how well their "real" parents can fight, there is no doubt of the outcome. Their hopes are high—

—Until they shatter like Bernard's and Pat's weapons do whenever Monica and Robbie block the formers' blows. The golf clubs, hunting knives, throwing darts, tasers, acid-filled water guns, sharp rocks from slingshots, roman candles, and even self-defense gun rounds disintegrate the moment they make contact with Robbie's and Monica's fur like bullets on Superman.

Monic and Robbie in unison: "Our turn."

When their fists connect to Pat and Bernard, the latter's arms or legs are instantly broken. Seething in pain, neither can stop Robbie and Monica from picking them up and slamming them onto the ground with an impact that breaks the raccoon's and opossacoon's spines. Helpless, and barely holding onto their lives. Pat and Bernard look at Ro-J and Reagan, their eyes pleading for forgiveness. The aggressor raccoons don't even look at Bernard or Pat as they put a foot on top of their heads and ask two questions.

Monica: "Tell us, what hurts more?" (4)

Robbie: "Knowing you will lose your loved ones, or breaking your promise to them?" (4)

Pat and Bernard can only groan, and Reagan and Ro-J can only cover their eyes. They hear two loud SNAP! sounds, and then open their eyes to see their "real" parents are dead. Their "adopted" parents come forward sneering in victory.

Robbie: "No one can protect you two from us."

Monica looks normal as she says, "Not even," then her body deteriorates into looking like roadkill and her voice becomes raspy and haggard—what she would look like now if the human hunter didn't take away her carcass—as she finishes, "death itself."

Reagan makes the fatal mistake of parting her fingers only slightly to take a peek, and sees Robbie transform into something even worse than Monica; into a creature that looks destroyed rather than dead, like he would appear as he was being digested in the bear's stomach. His voice is also raspy and haggard when he says, "You two little snots belong to us, and no one else!"

Monica: "No matter what lies you have created for yourselves..."

Robbie: "You are ours—FOREVER!"

The zombie raccoons let out horrifying attack-shrieks as they jut forward, claws and teeth first.

Reagan wakes up screaming, which causes her family to collectively put a finger to their mouths and hiss out "SHHH!"

But it's too late, for the humans who are sleeping in bedrooms directly below have heard a loud noise coming from beyond the ceiling.

One human shouts, "What was that?!"

Another shouts, "We've got raccoons in our attic! Call the verminator!"

From the street outside, Pierre's van screeches to a halt, but both he and Dilbert are somehow instantly inside the house.

Pierre's voice: "There's only one way to get rid of THE raccoons in the attic..."

Dilbert's voice: "Seal up all exits and burn the house down!"

The homeowners say, "Ok," in nonchalance, having no problem of becoming homeless.

Annie: "What have you done, Reagan?!"

Drake: "You gave away out hiding spot, you pansy!"

Ty: "Forget that, we gotta get out of here!"

Amber: "Use the plumbing vents, use the roof vent, or break through the wooden seams!"

But try as they might with all their might, the animals can't escape! The roof is rained on by Molotov cocktails which light the attic on fire. The number of homemade weapons, coupled with the cheers, claps, and whistles heard from the humans outside indicate that the whole neighborhood is taking part of this act. The animals scream in panic as the flames quickly cut off any place they can move.

Gerald: "What do we do?!"

Bernard: "We're all going to die, because of Reagan!"

Pat: "Let's spend our last moments killing her!"

There is unanimous, "Yeah!" from all the animals.

Through thick smoke that burns her eyes and forces them to be closed, Reagan tries to apologize. "Please don't! I'm sorry! I had another nightmare! I can't control my own dreams!"

Bernard's voice: "But we know how to control you, don't we, babe?"

Pat's voice: "We sure do. Pick a body part everyone!"

Her parents' voices had changed to ones that Reagan is too familiar with. This makes her force her eyes open where she sees that Bernard has become Robbie and Pat has become Monica. And they're not alone, for the rest of the family has turned into an army of Robbies and Monicas!

One of the Robbie clones opens his arms wide to indicate the surrounding inferno as he rhetorically asks, "Look at where we are, Reagan?"

One of the Monica clones says, "You're where your father and I are: in Heck!"

The flames seem to possess intelligence, and they create a circle where Reagan is safe, but that circle is getting smaller by the second.

Another Robbie clone adds, "Where the deepest, darkest, most torturous section is reserved for betrayers and liars like YOU!"

The real Monica opens her arms as if waiting for Reagan to come rushing into her arms. "Welcome home, Reagan..."

The real Robbie does the same gesture as his mate. "We've missed you..."

And with that, the flames engulf her while she screams in agony.

Reagan wakes up for real and lets out a scream. But remembering the second half of her nightmare, she buries her mouth inside her elbow to muffle the noise. After finishing, she takes more comfort upon not hearing any of the humans below wake up than she does from being hugged in the arms of Pat.

Pat: "You're safe Reagan. I've got you."

Pat kisses her daughter on the head then nuzzles her lovingly. Reagan sheds tears of relief while tightening her grip around Pat.

After a full minute, Pat finally asks, "Was it another memory from your past with your adopted parents?"

Reagan: "No. Worse..."

After giving Pat the details, the adult raccoon lets go of Reagan so that she can brush the top of Reagan's head fur while looking at her.

Pat: "None of that can happen for real, and you know it. Robbie and Monica are both dead. They are never coming back. And we already have escape plans, not to mention power tools, in case of emergencies like fires. Most importantly, no one in this family will ever try to harm you, even if you caused us to be discovered."

Reagan: "That last thing's a lie. RJ tried to drown Ro-J yesterday. Ro-J told me."

Pat: "I was there when he told you, and he didn't say it like that. He said 'RJ almost drowned me while having a senior moment.' And RJ is torn up over his guilt about it. I bet your grandfather will have a nightmare about that too."

Reagan: "Don't. Call him. That."

Pat: "He's staying in a whole different house far from here. We chose our groups wisely. If we were staying under the same roof as him—quite literally, I might add—you wouldn't be able to sleep a wink, and would spend every waking minute telling everyone how much you fear him."

Bernard (alongside Ro-J), who had been woken up by Reagan's muffled scream and has been listening to the conversation so as to not interrupt Pat's maternal charm, now comes in. "And if someone knows what it's like to feel fear, it's me. I'm still scared of things I was afraid of since I was little."

Reagan: "But you've gotten older and more courageous. Like all grownups, you don't get scared as much anymore."

Bernard: "You're wrong. Adults face far more fears than kids. Kids' fears are numerous, but they're also simple: imaginary or real monsters, traumatic events, physical harm, storms, the dark, and unfamiliar people and locations. Adults have those fears too, coupled with not being able to provide for or protect their families, saying or doing things that will ruin relationships, or failing to live up to someone who has inspired them. I don't mean to belittle you, because your fears are truly things to be afraid of, but trust me when I say you have it much easier now than when you grow up. Even at their hardest, all things are easier for kids and it's very hard to be a grownup."

Pat: "It's ironic, but when you're a kid you wanna grow up so you can be the boss and do what you want when you want. And as an adult, you want to go back to being a kid when things were all about playing, having fun, and not dealing with the issues grownups must face daily."

Bernard: "And because of your past, you were forced to grow up and become a woman far too early than Nature intended. You have been exposed to things way beyond your age, things that would have crushed any lesser person. But now that you're a part of our family, you need to enjoy your youth while you can and not grow up too fast."

Reagan: "I want to, but the nightmares...they keep coming back. Will they ever go away?"

Bernard: "Does fear ever go away?"

Reagan: "Now that you've told me what grownups fear, no. So I should just live in fear the rest of my life..."

Pat: "No Reagan. You can't live your life in fear. The trick isn't to eliminate fear, but to deal with it."

Note: The following is based on Star Wars X Wing: Wedge's Gamble by Michael A. Stackpole.

Bernard: "And here's how I deal with my fear as an adult. I realize that I have lived in fear so long that I am accustomed to it. Like an addictive drug, I require more and greater amounts to affect me. I've been operating at a high level of fear all my life; external fear from those who wish me harm, and internal fear of not being as good as my family members. Every threat an enemy has thrown at me involved death for failure, and impending failure seems like my constant companion. The pressure has not crushed me, and having lived through it, I'm stronger for it."

Reagan: "I don't get what you're saying."

Bernard: "Then let me put it this way: I control my fears by telling myself I control my life. Every part of it. My strength, my hopes, and my fears. That way, no one else can have it.

"I don't think we've even asked you this yet, but tell us your fears—all of them. Once we know, we can help you find a way to overcome them."

Reagan: "I fear my ex-dad fulfilling his promise of haunting me—which is RJ—the memories of my time with my adopted parents, predators and spiders, being unable to help my brother Ro-J when he needs me, and losing my new family."

Though her answers are honest, she disobeys Bernard by not mentioning all of her fears. For she dares not mention her secret fear of Ro-J finding out that her parents killed his birth parents, that he suffered amnesia, and that she has never told him about this. But him finding that out is nearly impossible because she is the only one who knows and never intends to tell.

Being a pure raccoon, Pat can think of what to say to ease Reagan's mind faster than Bernard. So she answers with, "The good times you have been having with us—and the good times with us yet to come—will eventually make you replace your bad memories with good ones. Spiders have much more to fear of us because they're small and we're so big, we can kill them just by stepping on them, and they are only interested in attacking insects and other arachnids. This whole family will protect you from predators, will always be ready to assist you in helping Ro-J, and we have no intention of dying—except from old age, many years from now. We have been doing all that for you ever since we met you."

Ro-J: "Yeah, sister. Don't overwork yourself. Mama, dad, and all the other grownups can take care of me for you."

Bernard: "You were forced to become an adult at such a young age, Reagan, but now that you have a truly loving family, all of us adults can take care of you and your brother, while you can relax and have fun.

"And I'm getting tired of sounding like a broken record, but it's because you do too: RJ will never hurt you. He loves you."

Pat: "Robbie is dead, and reincarnation is not a thing for us animals."

Ro-J: "And Granddad RJ has told me about a hundred times that if he ever met Robbie, he'd beat him up so hard, Robbie would be too scared, crippled, or dead to come back."

Reagan: "So he is okay with killing others."

Bernard: "In defense. Like when I killed that hawk yesterday."

Reagan: "I still don't trust him. I never will. When you said you would protect me, that includes from him."

Pat and Bernard look at each other, nod, and grin toothlessly at Reagan.

Bernard: "Then leave it to us."

Pat: "Consider it done."

Neither say it out loud, but their quick and sure response was because, since RJ is never going to hurt Reagan, the job of protecting her from him is practically nonexistent.

Reagan sighs in relief and then says, "Thank you, mama and dad. And thanks for putting my other fears at ease, too. But can we talk about what we'll do once we have to leave back into the forest after everyone's injuries have fully healed?"

Pat: "That will be a long way off, so no need to stress over that until the time comes. Besides, I have a better idea: let's got on our first family-only heist for medical supplies. It's 2:16 AM, so the humans should still be asleep."

Bernard: "We only took a little when we first entered the house hours ago, because it took us a good ten minutes to find where the medicine cabinets were in this house, and we didn't want to risk getting caught by the returning humans. Now we can take it all."

Ro-J: "Yay! Sounds fun!"

Bernard: "First rule: be quiet as a mouse."

Ro-J (softer and embarrassed tone): "Oh, sorry dad."

Bernard smiles while saying, "Relax. You're good, son."

Ro-J then gets close and wraps his arms around Bernard in a tight hug. Despite he and his family being "hug-city," the opossacoon is bewildered at his son's spontaneous action. Bernard asks, "Um, I like the hug, Ro-J, but what's it for?"

Ro-J: "You didn't hit or yell at me for being too loud, which are things my adopted parents would have done. You were okay with it..."

Bernard: "You were just being a kid, Ro-J. All kids get excited about everything and shout. I was like that, Pat was like that, and everyone in the family was like that—even Clara and Kale when they were little."

Pat: "But enough of the mushy stuff, gimme a thumbs-up if you're ready to raid."

Ro-J, Reagan, and Bernard show the requested gesture, which makes Pat continue, "Then grab your bag Bernard, and you kids follow me."

The three pure raccoons walk over to the part of the attic floor that will open downward with a built-in ladder on a hatch. To avoid the comedic scenario that befell Clark Griswold in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, humans have long ago designed attic ladders so they can be opened from the attic side, meaning the raccoon-blooded animals are not trapped. With Bernard now joining them, he and Pat open the hatch and let it and the folded ladder descend to a diagonal angle.

Pat: "Bernard, you and the kids stay here. I'll go down and put some sofa cushions on the floor so the ladder won't hit the floor too hard."

Bernard, Reagan, and Ro-J in unison: "Got it."

Pat jumps to the floor of a rec room with wooden floors. To her left is a two-stair drop-off that is the main area of the large room. There are ceiling-high bookshelves, a white circular rug and coffee table, a wooden chair, and a sectional couch shaped like an L that has three regular seats and one long one on the outer edge. The wall behind the couch has two slanted windows, and the ceiling above the couch has a nice chandelier. The wall opposite of all the furniture has a large HDTV propped up on an entertainment center with a DVD player, two video game consoles, and lots of games and DVDs.

Pat goes over to the couch and removes the seat cushions, then places them on the spots she best guesses the ladder will hit once Bernard makes it extend forward. He does so when Pat gives him a thumbs-up. The ladder makes a clacking sound when it extends, but touches the floor softly thanks to the cushions. Without those, the sound would have been very loud and likely have woken up the humans.

When all four animals' feet touch the hardwood floor, they proceed out of the rec room and into a doorless hallway that leads to a bed and bathroom on the far end and right side, and a staircase in between. The mammals have to go downstairs and into the master bathroom to get the first aid supplies. They make the trip in silence, aided by the home's thus far open design, but arrive at their first door at the master bedroom. Their senses let them know the humans inside are still asleep, which means the animals need to be as quiet as possible when they open the door and eventual cabinet.

All four have to whisper, with Bernard being the first when he says, "To reach the doorknob, Pat will get on my shoulders, then one of you kids climb up onto hers, turn the knob, and push."

Reagan: "I'm older and stronger, so I'll open the door."

Ro-J crosses his arms and frowns while saying, "No fair..."

Pat: "You can open the medicine cabinet, Ro-J."

Ro-J gives a fist pump while saying, "Yes."

Pat: "When that happens, you both will get inside the drawer and hand Bernard and me the supplies to put in his bag. Just don't push this door" (Points) "too hard, Reagan. If you fall forward and hurt yourself, you might wake up the humans."

Reagan: "I'll be careful, mama."

Bernard: "Then c'mon. Piggyback time."

The shoulder-standing and door opening are done without a hitch—since raccoons are very strong animals who can take down dogs twice their size—and the four tiptoe past the master bedroom and enter the opened-door restroom. It has two cabinet-sinks on the left and right walls closest to the bedroom, a bathtub bordering the wall farthest from the sinks, a shower on the bathtub's left, and a doored toilet on the bathtub's right. The raccoon animals ignore everything but the cabinet sink on the right. It has four drawers: two big ones on the bottom right and bottom left, and two small ones above those.

As promised, Ro-J is allowed to open the drawer on the bottom left. He and Reagan then climb into the drawer and hand over the supplies to their parents. There are bandages of all shapes and sizes, Neosporin, gauze pads, medical tape, medical alcohol, elastic bandages, and a bottle of pain medicine—precisely what the family needs!

Reagan hands Pat a box of band aids, but is confused when Pat doesn't put the box itself into Bernard's bag, but dumps just the band aids themselves in. She also leaves one inside the box and hands it back to Reagan.

Expecting a question, Pat says, "If we take it all, the humans will know something stole from them and become suspicious. But if we leave just one of each supplies in here, they won't suspect us. They'll just think they used up their supplies sooner than they thought, and go to the store for more. The raids after that are when we need to be more careful."

Reagan and Ro-J nod—silently praising their mom's ingenuity—and resume their raiding as instructed by Pat.

When half of the drawer's contents have been emptied, the animals' ears perk up and their heartbeats quicken when they hear a yawn, followed by two feet touching the floor. Approaching footsteps inform them that a human is coming into the restroom.

With no time to waste, Pat climbs into the drawer with her kids and tells them, "No sound, no moving."

She assumes Bernard will come in with them, but assumes wrong. He lightly pushes the cabinet closed and finds his own hiding place. Not knowing of the latter, Reagan and Ro-J are about to call out "Dad!", but Pat puts a paw on their mouths to keep them quiet.

In the restroom, the mother of the family has woken up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, like she normally does. Once she finishes, she washes her hands at the cabinet-sink where Pat, Reagan, and Ro-J are hiding, praying that she doesn't need to use the medicine cabinet. Their prayers are answered and she leaves the restroom and goes back into the bedroom, causing Pat to relax her paws. The only snag that will befall the raccoon-blooded animals is that she closes the bedroom door, which means they'll need to carefully open it again when they leave. But the fact that nothing happened, means that Bernard had found the perfect hiding place, which was behind the toilet where his white possum fur camouflaged him from the woman's eyes. Just as their minds start to process that he will open the cabinet for them, he starts doing just that, as slowly and quietly as possible.

Ro-J: "Gee, that sure was—"

Pat puts her paw back on Ro-J's mouth to silence him again, and quietly explains why when she whispers softly into his ear, "She isn't in deep sleep yet. We stay put until she is. No sound."

Bernard lightly taps the front of the drawer and whispers, "Air..." for his explanation of why he opened it.

Reagan then poses a good question that she quietly whispers into Pat's ear. "How will we know when?"

Pat: "Bernard has the senses of a raccoon and opossum combined—the biggest upside of being a hybrid. He'll tell us when."

Reagan and Ro-J relax and silently praise their father being a hybrid. The two young ones also mentally question, "Why aren't there more hybrid animals in the world? And how can anyone see a hybrid as a bad thing?" Coming up with no answers to either question, they then woefully muse, "I wish I was a hybrid..."

Note: (4)=Based on Final Fantasy 7: Machinabridged Episode 25 by TeamFourStar.

---

It takes almost an hour of waiting (54 minutes to be exact) until Bernard says, "She's back asleep. Let's continue where we left off."

Reagan and Ro-J in unison: "Finally..."

To say the two were getting bored waiting for the woman to doze off is an understatement. They passed the time by reading them what the words on the medical supplies still in the drawer said, but that lasted only six minutes. They then played rock-paper-scissors, but got bored with that after 10 minutes. Pat even suggested they count the hair on their bodies, have staring contests, and literally twiddle their fingers into as many ways they could think of. They were reluctant to try those three things at first, but when they got bored of having nothing to do, they found it quite engaging. But once they got tired of those activities, even Pat ran out of suggestions and they spent the last 20 minutes with nothing to do.

But now that it's over, Reagan and Ro-J eagerly start picking up the medical supplies and handing it to Bernard who had slid his bag under the cabinet-sink's legs, and now brings it back out. Pat also climbs out of the drawer and gets back on the floor to assist Bernard. She pours most of the medical alcohol in a 16-ounce water bottle, and leaves just two pills of painkillers in the bottle. She hands the alcohol and pill bottle back to her kids to place back into the drawer.

When they have what they need, Bernard says, "Alright. That's it. Let's head back to the attic."

The kids climb out of the drawer, close it and the four tiptoe and repeat the same routine of how they opened the master bedroom door in order to leave it. Bernard has to step sideways to avoid the door that now opens toward him, Pat, and Reagan. But his mostly raccoon physiology, combined with that of an opossum, makes the effort easy.

Not so easy is when they have to fold the attic ladder back up, because the two adults would be unable to do that even with their raccoon strength.

Pat looks at her kids and says, "Go wake up Rick, Luby, Ty, and Grace and tell them to get a rope or any kind of hooked objects they can find. Have them bring those here and we'll tell them what to do."

Reagan and Ro-J in unison: "Yes ma'am."

The siblings go up and after five minutes of searching, the other adult raccoons come to the opening in the ceiling. Ty has a plastic pipe shaped like an L, Grace has a bird feeder pole, Rick has a wooden orchestra music stand, and Luby has a thin rope.

They offer their own advice of how to make this work, which Pat and Bernard agree without question.

First, Luby ties the rope around the section of the folding ladder that will fold upwards. Ty and Grace will hook their pipe and bird feeder pole a rung or two above the rope. After handing them the orchestra music stand, Bernard and Pat go to the back of the bottom half of the ladder and use the wooden object to hoist that section of the ladder above their heads, which begins the bending process. Simultaneously, that's when Ty, Grace, Luby, and Rick pull on their end and keep doing so until the ladder is fully folded.

Bernard uses the small fishing pole in his golf bag to grapple up into the attic while Pat puts the sofa cushions back where they belong. When she is finished, Bernard tosses down his fishing pole for Pat to grapple back into the attic. The raccoons then use their tools and rope to fully close the attic hatch and take time to quietly high-four and paw-shake. The injured animals are still asleep, so the raccoons doctor their wounds while they dream peacefully.

With a job well done, the raccoons can finally go back to bed and get some much-needed shuteye as well.

---

Those select animals from Group 3 aren't the only ones getting things done this night, because the uninjured animals in the other houses are also busy with a task or two.

Before going to sleep, the injured Spike had sent a text to all the groups telling all able-bodied animals to obtain plug-in fans, de-humidifiers, and extension cords to ensure comfort for the hegdies who are living in the dank and humid places. Rachel had added in her texted response for the uninjured animals to also grab magazines, comics, small TVs, DVDs, CDs, handheld game systems, and other similar items for entertainment. Though also injured, Ronny texted an ingenious suggestion that will reduce the risk of the heisting animals getting caught: for them to wait until the humans leave home for work the next day before getting and setting those up.

To ensure this eventual process will go smoothly in case the humans leave for a quick errand and return sooner, Bucky had texted for the unhurt kid animals to do what he and his brothers did when they raided Gladys's house way back when: travel through the vents with fiber optic cables and locate the rooms that have the items they need.

While the children are doing that, the adults who can are getting first aid kits from the houses.

While Group 1 was coming up with ideas of how to obtain the supplies they need. RJ's idea involved what most of the groups will be doing: sneaking through the house, finding the first aid supplies, loading those in bags, and returning to their hiding places.

But Riley had come forward and proposed, "I can get what we need without us having to put ourselves in danger at all."

RJ: "I'm sure you can, Riley, but we don't want any, uh, mistakes."

Riley (with attitude): "Like the Queen Kong Kelly Incident?"

RJ sighs as he must be honest, and says, "Yes. My point being, we need to make sure we get the supplies we need in a way that will work 100 percent."

Riley: "But I've learned so much since then and have gotten a lot better at my hypnosis—thanks to my parents reminding me to never give up, even after I made a big mistake."

Roger: "I think we should have faith in my son, Riley: The Great Hypnotist. I'll vouch for him."

Aleshia: "Me too. I've helped him refine his methods."

Ellie: "And I let him practice on me while my parents watched so they could step in in case something went wrong. And they never had to intervene."

Riley: "I want to make up for that disaster I caused...to make me believe in myself, more than to show all of you, that I can get it right this time."

Roger: "C'mon, Uncle RJ. Just give Riley one chance, and if it doesn't work, we'll go with your plan."

RJ's response of "Alright, have it your way Riley," is immediate but many things had gone through his head to make him agree. The look in Riley's face, the sincerity of his words, the support of his family, are all a part of that. But most important was how RJ remembered what it was like to be young and make a big mistake. The yearning—sometimes pain—of getting things right can be so obsessive that any further delays might result in a second, more crushing failure. RJ went through that obsession to set things right in the weeks after being accepted into the hedgies' family. He knew they had forgiven his betrayal, but his conscience didn't feel clear. He made it his mission to give each family member something special that they would cherish forever.

Through several personal raids, he gave Verne a picture showing the before-image of the El Rancho Camelot woods; Hammy a nutcracker tool; Stella some perfume; Tiger a cat-scratching tree; Ozzie the complete Star Trek movie set; Heather an iPod full of her favorite songs; Lou and Penny two halves of a heart necklace than magnetized together; and Bucky, Quillo, and Spike Auto Homicide 4. From the moment they got these to the instant they were unfortunately destroyed when Gladys and Dwyane had a construction crew demolish the small wooded area at the El Rancho Camelot Estates, the hedgies cherished these gifts almost as much as a child. And RJ had physical reminders that he had finally redeemed himself. By the time those treasures were lost, he no longer needed to see his family use them to know he was forgiven.

RJ is not about to keep Riley from experiencing such euphoric redemption in himself. And lends an active listener's ears as he asks, "So, Riley. What's the plan?"

Note: the following segment is based on Volume 1 of the Over the Hedge Comic Strip I found and got to look inside of at Amazon .com.

Fifteen minutes later, as a husband is sleeping, Riley opens up the unlocked window and enters the bedroom. He gets out a tape recorder and replays the message he had recorded off Google translate. "Subliminal newsbreak: the World Health Organization recommends that putting your medical supplies in a container in your attic extends the contents' lifespan."

Riley would normally leave it at that, but, in keeping a deal he made with RJ as a condition of agreeing to try the kit's plan first, Riley now plays the second message. "The FDA also confirms Ding-Dongs, Twinkies, and Oh-No's battle cholesterol as they enhance resistance to male pattern baldness!"

Riley rewinds the tape recorder to replay the messages a second time, then rewinds and replays it once more for good measure. Having played the message three times in a row, he pauses the recording and waits. A smile appears on his face when the husband mumbles, "Medical supplies...in container...in the attic...Ding-Dongs...Twinkies...Oh-No's..."

Riley hits the recorder button to play the rest of the message. "In related news, Walmart announces three-for-one snack food clearance. So hurry there and buy now, now now, before 6AM! And throw away the receipt after leaving the store!"

The husband mumbles, "Walmart...Hurry...Buy now...Throw away receipt...Medical supplies in container in attic...Ding-Dongs, Twinkies, Oh-No's..."

The husband gets out of bed and sleepwalks to his car.

In the morning, his wife wakes up and comes down the stairs to discover 12 Walmart bags full of Ding-Dongs, Twinkies, and Oh-No's. She looks at her husband who is staring like a deer in headlights and belatedly asks him, "And what in the Sam Hill is all this?!"

The husband wakes up from his hypnotic trance and says, "Ding-Dongs, Twinkies, and Oh-No's."

The wife grumbles, and without a receipt they can't return the food to get their money back. Instead, the two dump the junk food into their trashcan. Which is toppled over and retrieved by the uninjured hedgies in Group 1.

Riley: "Ta-da! My hypnosis is a success!"

After many hugs, congrats, noogies, and high-fours, the family works to add the food to their medical supplies which they also have an acceptable supply of to treat their wounded.

And Riley has just experienced the most satisfying feeling of his whole life. He will cherish this night forever, because it is the night that he has become a true hypnotist like he always dreamed of.

---

Group 2 is being co-led by Plushie and Emily. Accompanying them are Meredith, Skip, Isabelle, Jacob, Kay, and Isaac who are currently sneaking through the house's main floor as they search for medical supplies. Verne and Velma are staying with the injured animals in case they need more help, which is good because the last thing the adults needed was Verne's anxiety to worry about. They already got enough of that when, despite Verne's and Velma's objections, Plushie and Meredith decided to leave their shells behind during this raid.

It was a tough call, but Plushie and Meredith decided that mobility is more important than protection. Their reason was that if a human wakes up and they need to hide, their shells would only get in the way and possibly make them stick out like a sore thumb. A valid counter-argument made by Verne and Velma was that if their nephew and daughter-in-law get into trouble, they won't have their shells for defense. But Verne and Velma reluctantly agreed since time was of the essence and they know their nephew won't take any unnecessary risks like he used to.

Though with the air conditioning running, it does make Plushie and Meredith wish they had their shells to keep them warm, but they tough it out and press on because the injured animals need those supplies. Their shell-less condition is also hard on Isaac who has to fight hard not to snicker and make wisecracks at the naked reptiles.

Curious about this, Plushie asks Isaac, "Why aren't you spouting jokes like you usually do?"

Meredith: "We know you want to."

Isaac: "That's only when we're not in danger. I have common sense, you know. It would be really bad to crack a joke at a time like this."

Thankful for this uncharacteristic maturity, the animals continue on.

Their house is the smallest of the ones chosen, which helps speeds up the search. The first floor has one master bedroom, a nursery for a baby, a hallway restroom in between those rooms, a study, a living room, kitchen, and the pantry doubles as a laundry room. The second floor has a niche with a TV at the top of the stairs, a playroom, a bedroom with bunkbeds, a Jack and Jill restroom between those, a bedroom across that with a single bed, a restroom for that room, and a hallway that connects all those rooms. The humans who live in this house are a young couple with two girls aged seven and five, a son aged three, and a two-month-old baby girl.

Knowing from personal experience that most first aid kits are located in restrooms, the first-floor bathroom is where the adults are heading. Fortunately for them, the hallway restroom is already open, making entering it a non-issue. The challenge comes from the bathroom itself which is very small and leaves little elbow room. It has a sink, toilet, bathtub, and shelves that are so close together the animals have a tough time fitting inside.

Meredith: "You'd think with such a big family, they'd have a bigger bathroom..."

Isaac: "I know, right? If we feel cramped in here, imagine how small it must be for the humans."

Jacob: "Corta la charla y ponte a trabajar."

Isaac: "Sí, papá. 'Cut the chatter and get down to business.' "

Emily: "Okay climbers, someone check the mirror above the sink, the rest will check out the shelves."

Plushie: "Meredith and I will keep a lookout for the humans in the next room, and let y'all know if they're coming."

The animals nod and quietly separate. Luck again is on their side, since there is a wooden step stool for kids in front of the otherwise unreachable sink, and the wooden shelves reach down to the floor, making it easy to scale them to the top.

As Emily and Kay open the mirror cabinet, they knock over a cup with two toothbrushes and toothpaste. They hit the floor, shattering the silence in the quiet house, and everyone holds their breath.

After 15 seconds which feels like 15 minutes, Plushie enters the restroom and says, "You're good. They're still asleep."

The porcupine and otters keep rummaging through. Emily and Kay find some Neosporin, a bottle of pain medicine, and box of band aids. Jacob, Skip, and Isaac find a suture kit, elastic bandages, and medical alcohol on the shelves.

While stuffing those items into a purse Emily is borrowing from Elaina, their luck runs out when the baby in the nearby room starts crying. Knowing this will wake up one of the parents, the mammals already start to make their way down from the mirror and shelves.

Only Emily makes it into the hallway when she hears the master bedroom doorknob start to turn during one of the gaps the baby makes to breathe and then resume crying. Plushie and Meredith put their hands against the door and intend to use all their strength to slow the opening as best as they can, then they will have to flatten their backs to the wall where the master bedroom doorstopper is located. Emily can't run back into the restroom and hide there because she is too big—almost as big as the step stool—but she notices the door to the baby's room is ajar...

Emily runs into the nursery while loudly whispering, "Hide!" to the otters in the restroom.

The hallway is clear when the door opens and the father human groggily walks into the hallway. He only closes the bedroom door a little, and lays eyes on the now-terrified turtles. But their luck returns when the father can't recognize them as turtles without his glasses on. Instead, he yawns out, "Billy's action figures...that's why the door opened slower than normal..."

Meredith and Plushie only feel relief for a second because their fear returns when the father goes into the restroom. Thankfully, the otters remain hidden on the shelves behind some towels while the father gets a drink of water from the bathroom sink. He then heads into the baby's room while saying, "I'm on the way, Marian."

The turtles and otters are now safe, but they fear for Emily when the father closes the nursery door and turns on a lamp. They expect to hear a shocked yell followed by panic, or worse, violent redemption, upon the father discovering Emily. But ten minutes of the father cradling and singing lullabies later, and Marian quiets down. The father then turns off the lamp, opens the nursery door to leave, leaves it ajar like before, and returns back to the bedroom door which he fully closes.

The otters meet the turtles in the hallway in front of the restroom, and Emily comes out of the nursery moments later, to the absolute relief of the other animals, carrying the purse with all the medical supplies.

Skip: "Thank Mother Nature you're safe. That was one the most nervous ten minutes of my life."

Plushie: "No kidding. Meredith and I are cold-blooded reptiles and we worked up a sweat."

Meredith: "Even without our shells on, and with the AC running. See for yourself."

Both turtles emphasize this by holding their arms out to show Emily the sweat beads all other their naked bodies.

Before Isaac can give in to the temptation of saying a joke about this, Isabelle asks, "How did you hide, Emily?"

Emily: "I slid the purse underneath the dresser and pretended to be one of the stuffed animals on the nursery floor. I thought he'd look over and notice me at any moment, but he kept all his focus on his baby girl the whole time."

Kay: "All praises to the fully devoted human parents."

Emily: "But enough of that. Let's go—Vamos."

They make the trip back to the basement effortlessly and uneventfully. That is, until they close the basement door and Isaac finally says what he's been holding back since they started their late-night/early morning raid. The jokes he can say number in the twenties, but he chooses the most relevant one for their immediate timing and after what they have just been through.

Isaac: "So, Plushie and Meredith, is that how turtles make a 'breezy getaway'?"

Kay and Jacob roll their eyes while sighing, but Emily, Skip, and Isabelle stifle a chuckle.

Skip: "That's actually a good one, little brother."

Being no stranger to friendly-teasing, Plushie counters by saying, "Who's to say, Isaac? Maybe you can answer that one morning, after we completely shave you in your sleep."

Meredith: "My mate will consider doing it. He's quite the party animal. I'd sleep with one eye open if I was you, Isaac."

Isaac gulps and stammers out, "I-I-I'll pass."

Proving they are in the category of "no one makes a joke about this, or else...", the turtles confidently make their way down the basement steps where they put their shells back on. The children who scouted the house using the vents are also back and help the uninjured adults treat the injured animals while they are sleeping in their hiding places.

Having done their share of work, they all lie down, close their eyes, and sleep soundly.

---

At Group 4's house, Mary, Elroy, Lizzy, Claire, and Bert are in charge of grabbing a first aid kit while R3 and Sare move through the AC vents. Rebecca and Garrett would normally have accompanied the first team, but refused to leave their injured childrens' sides. This works out for the better because those two also agreed to babysit Mary's three joeys so that Tim, Mira, and Zeke don't get put in harm's way. The rest of the animals are too injured to move, so it's up to those four adults and three teens to save them.

But unlike Groups 1 and 2, Group 4 could not have chosen a more difficult house to stay in. The homeowners are detectives, as evidenced by the wall plaques of their various commemorations for their hard work at solving about 50 cases combined—and therefore are naturally cautious and ultra-observant. They have a security system in place, which, like all such systems, uses passive infrared (PIR) to detect moving objects with body heat. Because pets can sometimes trigger an alarm for that reason, security systems can have their sensitivity adjusted by the user so the motion sensors don't detect pets that weigh less than 55 pounds. Mary, Elroy, Lizzy, Claire, and Bert weigh under 40 pounds combined, so they were not detected when they touched the floor after scaling down the attic ladder that they had lowered.

What did detect them was the motion lights set up inside the one-story house. Mary correctly theorized that this was the humans' way of never being blind while trying to move around at night, and she was half-correct. The other reason was so the humans can get a silent wakeup call that enabled them to see who is trespassing.

The animals were carefully making their way to the nearest restroom when the lights above suddenly illuminated the hallway as bright as day. The animals quickly ran or flew into the nearest room—a guest bedroom with a small closet—only to discover it too had motion lights.

As they heard the humans get out of bed and walk stealthily toward the lit bedroom, a nervous Claire suggests, "H-hide under the bed?" She does her best to not sound too scared, because Bert would crumble apart if she panics.

Lizzy: "That's the first place they'll look."

Elroy: "Then they'll look in the closet."

Mary: "And the lights will flash on whenever we move. So here's what we do..."

They huddle for five seconds and carry out her plan.

The human wife's name is Haley, the husband's name is Dalton. They were best friends who were closer than most twins. Some say that twins have a special "twin sense" in which they know exactly what their genetic matches are feeling or thinking. Haley and Dalton could put the "twin sense" to shame. They are in perfect sync with the other; moving, using the main five senses, and acting like perfectly coordinated special forces. They even breathe at the same rate.

They search the room with the efficiency and thoroughness of the guards from the famous stealth action game franchise about a single man who infiltrates terrorist bases to stop a two-legged robot; on highest difficulty. But unlike the games, these two humans don't even say "Clear", "Move", or "Nothing here." They operate in silence, using their detective sense to know when to move and search a different place. They only have two places to search—the closet and under the bed—which they do simultaneously. They finish and head back to their bedroom, finding nothing.

Once they hear the master bedroom door close, the animals come out of their hiding spot from under the bed, above the support boards. Whenever humans search under the bed, whether for an imaginary monster to put their frightened kids' minds at ease, or to find an object, they often keep their eyes on the floor beneath the bed, but rarely look up. Mary's gamble saved their lives for now, and the motion lights won't detect them with the bed in the way, so they drop down to the floor. However, they still have many problems which they now discuss.

Mary: "We have to figure out how to get past these motion lights without alerting the humans."

Claire: "Bert and I could fly through the house."

Lizzy: "The lights will still detect you. I looked up facts about motion lights years ago when I first encountered them, and they can detect leaves falling off trees."

Elroy: "We have to take 'em out at their source: the house's fuse box outside."

Bert: "H-how do we g-g-et out there w-without the lights c-c-coming on?"

The adults are stumped, but it's Lizzy who comes up with the solution when she says, "We don't have to do that, but R3 and Sare can." The adults smile and nod in appreciation at the raccoon girl's ingenuity while Lizzy pulls out her phone. "Just gotta text them and..." She taps the power button to make the screen come up, but stops before she can unlock the phone to do anything besides tell time and the day.

Elroy: "What're you waiting for, Lizzy? Do it."

Lizzy lets out a sigh and then looks at the adults with a serious and guilty expression. "You or Mary need to tell them. They won't listen to me..."

It only takes Mary an instant later to pull out her phone and say, "No problem. Leave it to me," but in the brief gap the adults all comprehend the same thing that reminds them why Lizzy is right. Sare and R3 absolutely hate Lizzy right now for her admittance of being gay, for nearly killing Gary, and for taking a chunk of ear off Lauren. Group 4 heard the story when Rebecca' family arrived at the house. Not only that, but despite Rebecca and Garrett keeping true to their new vows to always put their kids first from now on, Lizzy's three siblings now hate Rebecca and Garrett for not punishing Lizzy harder than a grounding. But that is something that will need to be worked on in the coming days, not right now when the main priority of this small group of animals is to get medical supplies.

Mary texts her biological cousins the new plan, to which she receives a message from R3 stating that they're on their way to the outside. Lizzy's plan of shutting off the motion lights at their source takes ten total minutes starting from the first text message with a picture of the fuse box, to the teenage raccoons' questions of what to look for, and ending when the animals in the house test that the motion lights are indeed no longer on.

Now that they won't be in danger of alerting the humans, Elroy smiles and says, "So far, not bad. Let's see if the first aid kit is in the bathroom next to this room." A quick search of the nearby bathroom yields nothing, meaning the next problem is, as Elroy explains, "But now we gotta figure out how to get past those super-sense humans to reach the master bathroom where the first aid supplies are."

Mary: "Since we're dealing with highly trained detectives, let's text R3 and Sare again and have them spy on the humans in their bedroom through the vents before we head into their room."

While doing that and waiting for the texted reply, Mary returns the smiles and phrases like "Awesome idea!" that the others give her along with a smile and nod of her own. It also makes her do some reflection.

---

Unlike Bernard who struggled to live up to expectations, Mary had an easy time doing that. She just seemed to have a special power inside of herself that made her learn, act, plan, and move like a raccoon on the first or second try, much to her family's impress and praise. But that puts a lot of stress and pressure on herself to keep living up to, or surpassing, the expectations others have for her, especially because she has to live up to her parents' accomplishments. Being the daughter of the family's co-leader makes all of the second (and many times first) generation of hedgies look to her first for leadership. This is both a blessing and a curse, because while it is a source of pride and a testament of her incredible abilities, it also creates massive (albeit non-existent) shoes to fill. Not to mention tension of making a wrong call that could lead to a family or friend's harm or worse.

Many of her friends and family have teased Mary by calling her a real-life Mary Sue—a derogatory term used to describe over-powered females in film who get everything right the first time, always have things under control, and are too perfect to fail. The flaw with making a character so flawless is that that actually creates more flaws, because it makes the character unrealistic and therefore unrelatable to the common person. Rarely does anyone get things right the first time without sheer luck alone, especially when thrown into situations outside of their element. Most people struggle to learn how to do things the right way, have to take years of practice and lots of trial and error to gain the experience they need to become competent. In short, they have to grow through strife. Mary Sues don't go through any of that and are just prodigies at everything they do, even when thrown out of their element, and thus were the source of many angry movie and TV show fans for over a decade starting in the 2010s.

But Mary always counters such playful name-calling by pointing out her many flaws and how she has overcome them. Growing up, she was hot-headed, impatient and impulsive; was too harsh on the failures of others; and did things that put herself and others at serious risk, sometimes barely avoiding injury or death by the skin of her teeth. After lots of tense lectures, time-outs, groundings, spankings, injuries, close calls, and seeing others get harmed because of her words and actions, she matured into the great woman she is today. She learned the importance of controlling her tempter and thinking things through before acting, learned to go easier on those who make lots of mistakes, found out that her intuition wasn't always right, discovered that even she could still fail despite being such a natural at many things, and that being so good at many things doesn't give her the right to talk down to anyone else.

The most important lesson she learned was that what makes a strong person strong isn't how great they are, but how they deal with their flaws; the things they can never overcome no matter how hard they try (5). If her life was ever made into a movie, the moment that was the pinnacle of her so-called "character arc" was when she thought she could live on her own without her parents, and got a sprained ankle as a result of her carelessness and blind bravado. She even welcomed death when a weasel came to finish her off since this was the time she was at her worst upon discovering that she was sterile. It was luck alone that saved her when Elroy's father Josiah came to rescue her. She learned that she couldn't do things on her own, and would always need the love and support of others in order to survive in this world full of risk and danger. Elroy revealing that he still loved her despite her being sterile was another huge turning point as it made her find peace in her sterility, which helped her reconcile with her parents and set her life back on the right track.

But Mary's greatest flaw that she can never overcome is that she is an opossacoon. A hybrid. An anomaly of creation. Opossacoons were never intended to be created by Mother Nature, and were created instead by her parents who had long ago discovered that love is more powerful than any plan or design. But as romantic as that is, it has made her life one of constant ridicule and struggling to push through it. Even to this day, she is insulted for being a hybrid, by animals and humans alike. Heck, even an alien from Planet Z of Dimension Delta would call her a weirdo—and that is the nicest possible adjective. But because she isn't a Mary Sue, she has her friends and family to help her bear the burden of being an opossacoon hybrid, rather than trying to carry that weight alone.

So despite what seems to meet the eye, Mary is glad that she is not perfect and takes comfort knowing that she has to struggle through life like everyone else, even if she doesn't look like everyone else.

---

Mary's ruminations end when her phone screen flashes and she reads the text message sent to her by Sare out loud for the others. " 'Both humans are sound asleep, and the woman has the first aid kit in her arms for instant access to treat her injured neck and leg.' " Mary puts the phone down and looks at the others to says, "So now we have to think of a way to get the first aid kit from her without waking up she and her husband, get back to the attic without them noticing, and to not give these detectives a reason to investigate their attic because so much as a picture frame is out of place."

Lizzy: "Something tells me the woman will wake up the instant you take the first aid kit away."

Mary: "My thoughts exactly...So how do we take it from her? Anyone got any ideas...? I don't."

After a seven-second pause, Mary is reminded why everything she had mused about earlier is so true.

Elroy: "Soooo...just take the supplies out of the first aid kit and leave the kit in her arms."

Mary: "Brilliant, Elroy. Your brain could pass for a raccoon's."

Claire: "Bert and I can hover over the woman and take the supplies. That way, none of us have to climb onto the bed and risk waking up both humans."

Lizzy: "But if the ceiling fan is blowing, it could make you fly off-course."

Claire: "I practiced flying through hard winds with my sisters growing up. It'll be a breeze."

Bert: "Hah-haaaa! I get it!"

Mary: "Even so, the moment you open the kit, anything lightweight inside of it might scatter and land on the bed, or on the humans' faces, both which will wake them up."

Lizzy: "Yeesh. If these humans weren't, like, so hyper-alert, we wouldn't have to go all Tom Clancy Thorny Cell on them."

If there was a lightning bug in the house, it would flash its light over Mary's head right now. What would normally be another case of teenage angst, has instead given Mary's brain the solution to their problem.

Mary: "First, it's Splinter Cell. Second, you're a genius, Lizzy! I remember Bucky, Quillo, and Spike playing one of those games and how the main character lowered himself from the ceiling like something out of the first Mission Impossible movie. That's how we'll get the supplies without waking up the humans. I have a rope for my grapple hook in my bag. Let's use that to tie it around the light fixture and hoist one of us up so we can grab what we need without setting a paw onto the bed."

Elroy: "There're a lot of things that could go wrong while we're trying to do that. We'd have to make a lasso and land it perfectly on the light fixture the first try. If we overshoot it or undershoot it, it'll wake the humans up."

Mary: "That's not how I intended to attach the rope to the fan. I don't even know how to make a lasso, much less make it tighten once it contacts my target. I'm no cowgirl from out West. But do any of you know how to do that?"

Elroy, Claire, Bert, and Lizzy in unison: "No."

Mary: "Didn't think so. So here's how we'll do this..."

After explaining her plan and who will be doing what to make it a success, the animals quietly make their way to the master bedroom door. Upon discovering the door has a lock that is lockpick proof—again, showing the extra paranoia these detectives have when it comes to their home security—the animals have to double back up the attic ladder and must pass through the vents. According to an answer from R3 and Sare, the vent cover is on the wall in front of the bed instead of directly above it, so the mammals can't just send one animal through with a rope tied around the waist while the others hold up the rope from within the vent. Because of this, before going through the vents, Mary and Elroy teach Claire and Bert—paws-over-claws—how to tie a specific knot so the bats can understand how it will feel. Once they travel through the vent system and arrive at the one in the master bedroom, they undo the screws in a way that lets the vent cover hang without falling on the ground.

Bert whispers, "It's good being small," while going into the room.

Elroy adds, "And skinny," while doing the same.

Once the non-winged animals lower themselves onto the floor using an extra rope, Mary gets out the grapple hook rope. She hands it to Claire and Bert who grab one end firmly in their toe-claws and fly against the spinning fan's wind current to tie the knot as they had been taught. Despite their blindness, the bats' other keen senses compensate for the lack of eyesight and they are able to tie the knot just how Mary and Elroy instructed. The middle of the rope is knotted around the fan's light fixture (located beneath the spinning blades) in a way that allows one end of the rope to be lowered and raised by the animals pulling (or giving slack to) the opposite end, sort of like a shoelace before the loops are added.

Being the most experienced at heisting, Mary attaches the rope around herself using an abducted cat harness that fits her perfectly. Elroy and Lizzy will be the ones who will raise or lower her, and the two bats will fly her over the sleeping woman and stabilize the opossacoon there against the fan's wind by clinging to Mary's left and right side with their feet. To prevent waking up the humans, Mary will not whisper but rather use hand signals taught to her by RJ to communicate with the two-animal rope team.

When she gives the signal to be pulled up she half-expects the rope to come undone and she will fall to the ground, not because of the bats' incompetence, but because of hers or Elroy's. The feeling is the same as the pit in one's stomach someone feels during the long climb up and instantly before taking the plunge down of a roller coaster's first drop. Elroy feels the same way even though he's not the one who has the most important job. But the rope holds and Mary is expertly guided over Haley by Claire and Bert.

Mary then gives the signal for Lizzy and Elroy to lower her and that roller-coaster-pre-first-drop feeling returns, but she fights through it using her faith in her family. Mary carefully undoes the first aid kit's simple lid locks and delicately opens it. She gasps when several band aid strips almost scatter around out of control, but shuts the lid before that happens. Now having seen where the band aids are, she opens the kit again and grabs them immediately before they can move an inch from the fan's wind, then stuffs them in her pouch. The rest of the lightweight items are stored within miniature shelves that take up about half of the kit's interior. All of this she also puts in her pouch until it can't carry anything else.

When she is about to reach for the heavier items like pills, medical alcohol, sterilizing liquid, and disinfectant, Haley yawns and starts to roll over to her side. Mary shuts the kit and locks one of the lids, preventing the remaining items from falling out, then signals to be pulled up a little. Now on her left side, Haley's arm moves the first aid kit so that it's on top of her left torso. Mary signals to be lowered, undoes the lid lock, and gets the heavier items which she puts in the pockets of the cat harness now that her pouch is full.

When Mary gives the "all clear" signal, the bats (who detect her movement with their other senses) start flying her over to the floor while Elroy and Lizzy lower the opossacoon. When Mary's body is half clear and half over the bed's edge, the knot suddenly starts to come undone. Elroy and Lizzy immediately pull to tighten the knot, but just pull Mary up higher, and do nothing about the loosening knot.

No question: the rope will come undone any second.

Thinking quickly, the bats get behind Mary and push, making the opossacoon swing through the air following the fan's spinning. Since Mary did not have a leash that could clip and unclip to the ring on the harness, she had tied the rope on the ring. This means she can't detach herself. And even if she falls clear of the bed, the opposite end of the rope will fall onto it, waking up the humans.

And when the rope now comes fully undone, she closes her eyes and waits for a hard fall that will break the liquids they so desperately need and spoils the cotton, band aids, and suture strings in her pouch.

But her family once again demonstrates their skill and intellect when the bats let go of Mary just as the rope knot comes loose, and fly up to stop the other end from landing on the bed. As for Mary she is caught in Elroy's arms, with Lizzy holding him from behind to stop him from falling onto his back. Mary opens her eyes a few moments later, but in that short timeframe, Elroy reminisces about the experience he has just been through.

He feels...like the freakin' man! It feels like he's on another adventure with Mary again. Defying the odds, doing the impossible, avoiding disaster—just feeling truly alive again!

Mary intends to kiss Elroy, but he plants his lips on hers. When he pulls away he gives a toothy opossum grin and whispers, "Don't worry, Princess Mary. Your knight in shining armor has rescued you."

Rather than grimace and scold Elroy for making that irritating, sexist fantasy story a reality, Mary smiles and says, "And I am forever grateful, oh Sir Elroy The Heroic. Just don't forget who made the plan, provided the materials, and did the hard part."

Elroy: "You kidding? Holding your heavy hide was the hardest job. You're a lot heavier than you look."

Mary: "Because of all my muscles. You just can't see them with my fur in the way."

The couple lets their playful banter end there since the bats have by now gone into the vent and beckon for the others to do the same. They do so without a hitch, and refasten the screws around the vent cover. The wait until they arrive back in the attic before high-fouring each other. Then get to work tending their wounded.

---

Group 5 has the least number of injured animals, and those that are have only minor injuries when compared to the others. This means most of them can participate in the night raid to obtain the first aid supplies.

Of course, there are challenges to their situation. The basement they are staying in is relatively small, which is alright because most of Group 5 are small. However, the basement is full of storage containers that take up a lot of space and many are too heavy to move, even for a group composed mostly of mustelids. All of this means that comfort cannot be a priority. Also, the basement is not accessible from inside the house; the only way in is from a door from the outside—for the humans. But these animals have Quillo, Rachel, and Ronny in their group, and before Quillo and Ronny went to sleep to recover from their injuries, those two gave the skunks, squirrels, otters, minks, honey badger, and zorilla some pointers.

After surveying the entire basement, they discovered that the main floor of the basement is basically a pit. To the left and right above a five-foot tall concrete wall are two-and-a-half feet tall offshoots that run the length of the whole house. From the offshoots, the uninjured mustelids followed the porcupines' suggestions of tapping on certain wooden surfaces to discover if the spots are solid or thin. Most were solid, but one particular thin spot happens to lead into a small closet of the main floor of the house.

The mustelids made their own important discovery when the humans returned from church. There are grates on the outside of the house that are accessible from traveling the length of the house via the offshoots. By following the humans, they found out that there is a tool shed in the back yard. So the first trip that Stella, Tiger, De'Ausha, Ladarius, Damon, Niara, Jordan, and Ahniyah make once the humans have gone to bed is to the toolshed where they obtain sharp tools and saws. They use these to saw through the thin wooden wall of the closet and get into the house. Accompanying them are the otters in Amy's family, Scarlet, Sam, Boombata, and Nukalawa.

The first room they enter raises their eyebrows. It's a very spacious area with a pen, several toys, a small obstacle course, and climbing trees.

Tiger instantly recognizes what these are intended for. "These are too small for any humans, even baby ones. Which means all of this is for pets..."

Ladarius: "But Kale and Sarl said dis house didn't have no pets..."

Cadance: "Maybe Kale's and Sarl's noses didn't pick up the scent."

De'Ausha: "Not'a chance, gurl. Well, maybe Sarl, but definitely not Kale. He got the best nose of the entire wolf species. Even when he was livin' with his abusive Bone-Chomper Pack, they nicknamed him 'Track' fo' a reason: cuz his nose made him one heck'uv'a tracker."

Amy: "Let us worry less about that, and more about getting medical supplies."

Stella: "But if there's pets heah, they could sniff us out and rat on our location. So, we should worry about it."

Sam: "This house not good no more."

Jordan: "We may have to find a whole 'nother house to stay in once Kale wakes up."

Scarlet: "But that would put all our lives in jeopardy again, and it won't be a Sunday afternoon anymore, so we might get seen by humans this time."

De'Ausha: "No y'all four. Amy's right. Unless we encounter the pet, our main goal for tonight is to get what we need fo' the injured porcupines and minks."

Ahniyah: "Then les quit wastin' time and get'a move on."

Jay: "Yeah, we'll worry about the pets when the time comes."

Their decision made, the group of mustelids, two squirrels, and one feline quietly make their way through the house. They discover a hallway restroom, but no first aid supplies. They next move into an unoccupied guest bedroom and its restroom where they find only one band aid and a half-full tube of Neosporin.

Ralph: "This isn't nearly enough. Might as well be nada—nothing."

Cadance: "Any supplies is better than none, hermanito."

Boombata: "We just need ta go to master bedroom. That where true stash is."

The rest nod and quickly discover which door is the master bedroom because of the loud snoring. The animals had heard it from the basement before they sawed the wall, had talked over it at normal volume instead of whispering as they moved through the house, and now have to raise their voices to a shout to be heard.

It's not just any snoring, it's the grandaddy of snoring. The noise lasts two seconds before repeating. The first second is like a combination of a warthog snort, someone with a voice as deep as a canyon hocking a loogie, and old, warn out windshield wipers scrapping. The second half of the snoring noise is a deep groan and high-pitched whistle that somehow happen simultaneously.

Note: The snoring sound is based on Ed's snoring from Ed, Edd n Eddy. YouTube that if you want to hear it for yourself.

Amy: "Madre de dios…That is the loudest, most annoying snoring I've ever heard!"

Nukalawa: "Does anyone besides dee husband get any sleep at night?"

Tiger: "Let me go through the door first. If the wife is still awake because of the husband's snoring, she won't panic if she sees a cat."

The others agree, get on top of Nukalawa's shoulders, and open the door. When Tiger walks in, it only takes him one glance to put his fears of this night's raid at ease. He turns around and says, "Come on in, and no need to play things quietly. This will be a walk in the park."

More curious to find out why Tiger said that than they are about getting a proper first aid kit, the mustelids and squirrels quickly enter the master bedroom and discover two things that blow their minds. First, the spouse of the snorer is sound asleep thanks to some heavy-duty earplugs. And second, the snoring is coming from the wife instead of the husband!

With no reason to be quiet or stealthy, the group of animals laughs out loud at their two discoveries, and strolls on into the master bathroom where they find more medical supplies which they put in a plastic shopping bag they had brought with them. They also grab some sleeping pills and extra earplugs because without those, none of them will get any sleep in the basement with the wife's behemoth snoring.

They return to the basement using the now-secret hatch in the small hallway closet wall where they find Quillo and Ronny building something while Rachel watches, Hammy and Aaron playing rock-paper-scissors, and Robin, Nick, and AJ watching a video on cell phone.

Sam: "We back!"

Scarlet rhetorically asks the ones who had remained in the basement, "Lemme guess, none of you could sleep with all that snoring, eh?"

All injured animals look at Scarlet simultaneously and say, "Yep," in unison.

Quillo: "My son and I have been working on building homemade periscopes."

Ronny: "When we eventually drill holes through the floors, we can poke these through and keep tabs on the humans."

Quillo: "The key is to make sure the floor pieces can be removed and set back into place with ease."

Rachel points a thumb at herself and proudly says, "And it's a good thing I chose to stay down here tonight in case anyone needed help, 'cause they did. I got the supplies my mate and son needed, and gave the minks my phone to watch."

Ronny: "And voila! It's finished!"

Ronny holds up his periscope that is made from supplies Rachel had gotten out of a box full of hunting supplies, as well as some pieces of cardboard she had gotten from the house's recycling container.

Unable to not sound like a hyped up small kid, Ronny says, "And now to test out my new toy!"

He is already sitting atop the offshoot and sticks it out of one of the exterior grates that Rachel had snipped off using handheld bolt cutters the skunks had gotten from the toolshed.

Ronny: "Perfect!"

Note: The next segment is based on the Over the Hedge comic strip dated April 8-13, 2024.

Ronny soon sees a sight that makes him feel like one of those ship lookouts from the old days and responds with a gleam of excitement in his eyes, "Ahoy! Discarded mattresses! On the house's streetside curb!"

Quillo: "That's super!" (To the animals who just came back) "Do you folks mind grabbing those?"

Stella: "Can't we just sleep on the floor?"

Jordan: "Yeah, we animals. We're used to sleeping on hard surfaces."

Robin: "Wrong, we're used to sleeping on the ground with soft grass and sometimes spongy wood. This basement is made of concrete, and there's too many discarded bricks and wood in the offshoots to sleep comfortably."

Aaron: "So we really do need them, especially if we wanna make a full recovery faster."

De'Ausha: "Then les' go y'all. While it's still night time and most humans're sleepin'."

The heisting group leaves the bag with medical supplies and then heads out the main door of the basement, walk through a side yard, open the front wooden gate, and go to the empty street. They gather around the two mattresses stacked on top of each other to take a closer look. The mattresses are on the side of the road next to a garbage can, but despite such placement, they look pretty new. This causes Scarlet to shake her head side to side in dismay and say "Humans are so wasteful..."

Amy: "Okay, but...are you all thinking what I'm thinking?"

Sam closes his eyes, puts his paws behind his back, and puffs his chest out while saying, "I thinking 'bout cheese!"

Before he can open his eyes, he is tossed onto the mattresses that are now being carried by the group over their heads. Sam gives a wide-eyed look as he asks, "I stop thinking 'bout cheese now?"

"Yes!" the others say in unison.

Thanks to the strength of mustelids, the weight of the mattresses is no problem. What does take about nine minutes is fitting the bulky coveted items through the basement door and setting them up in the way the animals want them. But when it's time for all the animals to go to sleep (using the sleep pills and earplugs to work through the wife's snoring), they could not have asked for a better bed.

---

Group 6's basement is large and luxurious. The main room is a home movie theater with a bar, ping pong table, dart board, and couches. At the bottom of the stairs that connects the basement to the house's first floor is a door that leads to a two-car garage and large workbench with power tools. On the opposite side of the staircase past the home theater's bar is a long hallway that leads to two guest bedrooms—one with a queen-sized bed, and another with triple bunk beds—each with their own restroom. In between those two rooms is a workout room with a bench press, treadmill, ab coaster, and one wall lined with mirrors.

Sadly, Group 6 cannot stay in or enjoy those fringe benefits on this first night, and are crammed into a closet that travels the length of the home theater and one of the walls in an L-shape. There is still enough room to fit everyone, but only if they get in a straight line, and if anyone needs to leave the long closet, they have to walk over those in front of them—and that's after they have to squeeze through and under all the wires and power strips used to operate the home theater's screen and sound. Another stroke of misfortune is that this group has the most injured animals, and they are in the worst condition.

Like Boxer had said, "Dat's the downside of bein' a wolf; you's take a real beatin'..."

In addition to the wolves, the other porcupines, bats, and minks in this group are also pretty banged up. And Sarl is so utterly conked-out from exhaustion that not even a 10.0 scale earthquake would wake him up. Only Emma, Bea, and the ducks are neither injured nor tired, and thus are the ones who must find medical supplies.

A few things helped them accomplish that with ease. First, the inhabitant of this large house is a widower in his 60s whose adult kids have moved out and no longer use the basement bedrooms. Second, the animals were lucky to find a large stash of medical supplies in the bathroom of the room with the queen-sized bed, and immediately brought it back to the animals' hiding place and took care of many injuries.

However, it is not enough to fully treat all the injuries of this group of animals, meaning the two porcupines and seven ducks must go upstairs to the first floor for more first aid items. After opening the door at the top of the basement stairs, the animals stare wide-eyed at the large and open spaces this large house offers. A foyer the size of two apartments stacked on top of each other, a massive living room that puts the home theater to shame, a study with mahogany desk and expensive artifact replicas, a dining room that can hold 12 people around the table, and kitchen-den room as big as most standard one-bed/one-bath condos. The master bedroom is on the main floor, but instead of risking their lives, the porcupines and ducks first check the second floor at the top of the foyer's grand staircase. There is an expansive walkway that leads to two queen-sized bedrooms (one of the left and right) each with a bathroom, a smaller hallway past the left side bedroom that goes into a rec room, and small reading room past that.

The animals' luck strikes again when each of those two unoccupied rooms have all the medical supplies they need to treat everyone's injuries for the duration of their stay.

Bea: "There might even be enough to share with some of the other groups who don't have as much."

Emma: "I recorded that idea using the DVR in my brain."

Jeff: "A real man doesn't need DVR, just a good memory storage."

Gertrude: "But enough talk, let's grab what we need and head back downstairs."

The animals put the medical items in a military-grade waist bag complete with shoulder strap they had found in the basement's garage. But as they round a flowerpot shelf that looks like a stool, they hear the widower's footsteps as he walks into the living room downstairs. He yawns and adjusts the thermostat to make the air conditioning kick in.

While he does all of that, the animals look at each other and make the "Shhhhh!" gesture with their faces, fingers and/or wings and remain still. Emma has to pull up on the bag to make it more comfortable. While doing that, the bag bumps into a nearby flower pot shelf, which causes the flower to tip over and fall. The ducks try to catch it with their outstretched wings, but the flower is so heavy it slips through their grip and hits the floor. Despite the soft carpet, the pot breaks and the noise echoes throughout the first and second floors.

The man from downstairs was on his way back to the master bedroom, but immediately turns around at the sound of the breaking flower pot and menacingly whispers, "Intruders..."

From above, the animals hear him walk over to the study and open a drawer, then hear the distinct sound of bullets being loaded into what has to be a revolver. Their guess is confirmed when they hear the cylinder spinning and then being cocked inward like the start of Russian Roulette. Their eyes widen and their hearts quicken as they now realize there was a reason they have a military-style waist bag. This is the house of a former soldier in the U.S. military.

The first indication of this is when the man makes his way up the stairs so quietly that the only way the animals can tell he's getting closer is by his scent—not by sound or vibration. The animals collectively take a step in the opposite direction as quietly as possible, which this former soldier hears and quickens his pace. The ducklings flap their wings to take flight, but are scared back to the ground when a warning shot is fired.

Man (commanding and threatening voice): "Don't even think about trying to run! I was a Navy SEAL and know this house better than the architect who designed it!"

The animals all but resign themselves to their fate. The man is not just any soldier, but a former Navy SEAL—the best of the best. That kind of intense training never goes away with age. He is as sharp today as he was when he made the cut at age 25. Even after retiring, he still gives his body the intense SEAL workout to stay in shape. This means, in spite of this man's age, he can take out healthy soldiers who are half his age.

He proves this when he arrives at the top of the stairs immediately after the words leave his mouth and aims at the animals who close their eyes and cower in fear. They expect to feel the awful pain of a bullet any second, but instead get a very pleasant surprise.

Man (soft and cheery tone): "Well I'll be darned...Wild ducks and porcupines? How the heck did you get inside my house?"

The animals uncover their eyes then sigh and visibly relax when they see the man put the gun into his pajama pocket.

Man: "You're all probably just hungry. Tell you what, let me run down to the kitchen and I'll give you ducks some bread and you porcupines some salad and blueberries. After that, you all go back outside. Just don't scare the heebie-jeebies out of me like that again. Yeesh..."

When he is halfway down the stairs, the animals converse.

Louise: "We scared him? I almost emptied my bowels when he had us in his sights."

Moe: "For real...I thought we were goners."

Lenny: "I saw my life flash before my eyes."

Bea: "I'm glad he has a soft spot for animals."

Gertrude: "But still. The fact that he would be so determined to take a human life just for trespassing..."

Emma: "I think I got him figured out. It's just like some of the characters from war videogames and movies my sisters and my mate's brothers have seen. After all the battles he's been through as a Navy SEAL, he thinks humans are devious, but animals are pure because we're just 'following our instincts' whenever we kill or steal."

Jeff: "It's a good thing that's how most humans see animals. If humans knew how our world really works..."

Billie: "It's because of evil, devious animals that we have to hide in his house in the first place."

Barney: "Quiet everybody. He's coming back."

The animals go back to acting like average ducks and porcupines when the man arrives carrying a bowl of lettuce and berries in one hand, and two pieces of sandwich bread in the other.

Man: "Here you go. Enjoy."

The animals have only taken their first bite when the edge in the human's voice returns upon discovering something.

Man: "Wait. Is that my lucky waist bag?"

The animals stop eating and look at the human with eyes wide in rising anxiety and fear.

The man's voice rises in anger with each passing word while saying, "The bag that my darling wife gave to me before dying in a car crash while I was on a tour of duty?!" The porcupines and ducks feel a chill go down their spines at the man's deadly serious and threatening tone when he demands, "Give. That. Back."

Normally Emma would gladly do that, but with the life-saving medical supplies inside of it, they unfortunately must keep it. Emma shows this by taking a step back while putting both paws on the shoulder strap.

Bea: "Are you nuts mom?"

Man: "So that's how it's gonna be, eh?"

Emma: "The others will die without the supplies. Don't worry I've got an idea. Just follow my lead. Get ready to run to the kitchen, Bea."

While pulling his gun back out, the man says, "I guess animals aren't any purer than humans."

Emma: "Jeff, take the gun first. The rest of you peck at him like crazy."

The man cocks the hammer back on the revolver while saying, "And I have you all to blame for shattering the only thing in this world I thought was unsullied."

As he said that, Bea sees Emma grip the salad bowl and so she does the same.

Emma whispers, "Now!" and the mother and daughter toss the salad bowl at the man with all their might, then make a run for it down the stairs. At the same time, Jeff takes flight, intending to nab the gun out of the SEAL's hand when he makes a defensive block.

However, being a SEAL, his training has altered his natural instincts to attack first. The man neither reels his head back nor puts up both hands to block the bowl coming at him; he shoots it instead, shattering it to pieces. This means the gun is still raised up in attack position when Jeff is nearing the man—who immediately alters his aim toward the drake.

Jeff screams as he prepares to meet his end, but is saved when his mate and kids swarm around the human and start pecking him; darting here and there to avoid his swatting hands. Jeff gives a silent praise to Mother Nature that his family had moved at the same time he did, and is at the man's hand without losing a second. The problem is, the human keeps moving his gun hand while trying to fight off the six other ducks, which makes it impossible for Jeff to try to pry the gun away. Not to mention, even if the drake succeeds at landing onto the gun hand, the man will immediately yank the hand free or try to hit Jeff with his free hand.

Jeff then remembers something his late parents had taught him to do when encountering gun-wielding humans. "Don't grab the gun, dismember the gun. It drives the wielder craaaaazy."

As ducks, Jeff and his parents have had many run-ins with hunters wanting to eat poultry, stuff and display their bodies in a trophy room, or both. So, his parents taught him the locations of common hunting guns' safeties and dis/assemble switches and pins, should he ever have to go on the offensive. Jeff took it a step further by looking up those kinds of things online using his cell phone. The internet had step-by-step guides to do everything from baking cakes, tying ties, and of course disassembling guns.

---

This knowledge came into practice when Jeff was 15-years-old and his parents moved him out of the Elysian Fields Estates in order to look after his maternal grandparents after the deaths of his aunt and uncle who had been taking care of them. Jeff argued about how all his friends were in the EFE woods and that they were protected from hunters by state law, unlike the area where his grandparents were. But Jeff's mother counter-argued that she loved her parents a lot, and it was only right that she, their daughter, helped take care of them now that they were too old to care for themselves; just as they took care of her when she was too young to care for herself. He tried to counter-counter argue with the classic teenage saying that he was 15 now and could live on his own, but his father re-countered by telling him he wasn't 18, and only when he reached that age could he live on his own.

Unable to convince his parents, Jeff had no choice but to go to the woods where his grandparents lived. But the more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea of the thrill of avoiding hunters. He was always an adventurer who liked defying the odds, so maybe living in a place where hunters were allowed to hunt would be the rush he needed. That's how he passed the time living there without friends and to get a break from the initial uninteresting time with his grandparents who, at their very old age of 95, could do little more than sit around their dwelling and talk. But the more he was around them, the more he started to enjoy the richly entertaining stories of their long-lived experiences they had to share. His grandparents were quite the adventurers themselves who had done wild and crazy things on their numerous migrations throughout the country. They had been in Washington D.C. at the time of the Civil Rights Movement leader's famous speech about a dream he had, and also witnessed all the Vietnam War protests. They also had seen the construction of many memorials and monuments at D.C. and other states, and got to perch on top of them all.

Listening to his grandparents was more entertaining than watching his favorite TV show, and their "reach for the stars" attitude and pep talks made Jeff realize even elders still had plenty to contribute for the younger generations...It was also because of those reasons that made their deaths all the more heart-wrenching for him. Two days before his sixteenth birthday, hunters used dogs to flush Jeff, his parents, and grandparents out of their hiding spot. Jeff's parents ordered their son to fly to a known safe place, while they helped the grandparents move faster. Being young, Jeff easily outpaced the hunters, but his parents and grandparents were not so lucky. Jeff's mind will never forget the sound of the gunshots, followed by the victorious whoops of the humans, when his family was killed. The worst part: he couldn't go back to recover their bodies to bury, or else he would have gotten shot too.

Despite how devastating his loss was, he remembered something his grandparents had told him: "Never give up no matter how hopeless or sad things are. There is always a way to survive and thrive, even under the bleakest circumstances." It was something only adults as old as they were—who experienced all the things they went through—could tell him. Armed with those strong words, Jeff did not give up, he kept living. On his sixteenth birthday, he met Gertrude and used his grandparents' words to saved her too. Despite having lost their families to hunters, both decided to live in the woods where their families had died. The reason was that they were not going to let hunters get in their way of living a happy life. They also felt it would honor their families to stay in the place they had been born and raised.

Thanks to his parents' and self-education, Jeff's knowledge of guns makes him the biggest gun-geek in the animal kingdom. With just once glance, he can name the make, model, caliber of bullets, fire rate, muzzle velocity, and even compatible attachments that any (and every) gun has. He became a master of dismembering guns, driving the wielders crazy while doing so—just as his parents taught him, which brings a smile to his face.

In the area he and his family live, he is known as the "Luck-Duck" who never gets shot and always gets away. So many hunters have tried to shoot him just to get the fame of being the person who finally kills the Luck-Duck. But all duck hunters better get used to disappointment whenever they enter the Realm of the Luck-Duck.

---

With these memories now fresh in his mind, and because this large house is now "Jeff the Luck Duck's" realm, the rules of the wild apply to the indoors. The former Navy SEAL is going to be disappointed. To do this, Jeff changes his tactics against the man from disarm, to dismember. He recognizes the gun as the famous Colt Python .357 revolver, 6-inch barrel version. Jeff times it just right, and at the first possible moment, he presses the cylinder release button on the revolver, causing the six-round bullet cylinder to pop open. The bullets spill on the floor when the man lifts the gun up to swat Billie away.

The man yells, "No freakin' way!" and looks down to where his bullets have fallen. Now that the SEAL is distracted, Jeff pulls the extractor rod out and the whole cylinder drops on the ground.

Jeff: "Someone kick those down the foyer!"

Man: "YOOOOOUUU BRRROOOOOKE MYYYYYYYY GUUUUUNNNN! ARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"

Having been driven craaaaazy by the gun's dismembering, Jeff becomes the ex-SEAL's main target, which gives Moe plenty of time to kick the bullets and cylinder down into the foyer. For that, the ex-SEAL raises his leg and nearly stomps the duckling to death, but his aim is off from the resumed pecking, so he misses by inches. Moe squeezes through the staircase's baluster and then rejoins his family in pecking the human. He then covers his face with both arms an opens them up and outward with lightning speed, hitting all the ducks at once. The hit brings them to the ground where Gertrude and Barney roll to the side to avoid being stepped on. They aren't fast enough to avoid his second foot, and Gertrude is hit in the foot while Barney is hit in his wing, causing both to yelp in pain.

Suddenly, everyone turns their head in the direction of a shattering window downstairs. Not all the glass has hit the ground when Emma and Bea respectively yell, "Outside! NOW!" in a tongue only the ducks understand.

The birds had already started moving after Emma had said "Outside", and the human doesn't realize this until after Bea's word has left her mouth. By that time, the ducks have all flown over the staircase rail and glide to the bottom of the foyer. This is not the case for Barney whose injured wing makes power flight impossible. He is currently squeezing through the baluster like Moe had, but the man grabs Barney's tail. The tail feathers come loose and Barney is free of the ex-SEAL's grip when the man yanks back (in an effort to pull Barney toward him), and the duck juts forward to escape the human. Even with a wounded wing, Barney is able to glide to safety.

Noticing Barney's injury, Jeff sits down while saying, "On my back, son!"

Jeff takes flight once Barney is on his back and says, "Now dad!"

The ducks use their memory and excellent hearing to navigate to the exact window that has been broken in the kitchen. They are out of the house and through to the next yard just as the hardcore soldier reaches the bottom of the stairs. The birds are about to keep flying when they hear Emma go, "Psst! In here!"

The ducks follow their ears and huddle inside a large doghouse and stay there and keep quiet as they expect the widower to run outside and give chase. He oddly does not, but the reason is soon revealed as the eavesdropping animals hear the man voice his thoughts.

Man's voice: "Hey, my lucky waist bag! They gave it back! Thanks goodness...I guess animals are purer than humans after all."

Lenny: "But if you left his bag behind, what about the medical supplies?"

Bea: "Easy, it's all in here."

The ducks sigh in relief when Bea and Emma put forward two cloth grocery tote bags, and open them to show that inside are all the medical supplies they need.

Emma: "After hearing him say that his late wife gave it to him, I knew he would chase after us if we didn't give it back."

Bea: "So we did the old switcheroo using these grocery bags we found lying on the laundry room floor located just before entering the kitchen from the kitchen door that went outside into the driveway."

Emma: "Let's give him 30 minutes to go back to bed, then we'll use our lockpicks to go back into the basement and give our family some first aid."

Louise: "But aren't any of you afraid that SEAL will find us hiding in his basement? I sure am."

Jeff: "Of course we're afraid of that. But as long as we're careful and stay out of his way, he won't bother us."

Moe: "Can we go to another house once the others are able to move?"

Gertrude: "I wish we could, but their injuries are so bad that it'll take weeks for them to be able to stand, much less move."

Emma: "Gertrude's right, kids. We're just as stuck with that SEAL and his house, as much as he's stuck with us."

Jeff puts his wings on his children to comfort them as he says, "Don't worry, kids. We've gotten through worse before..." After seeing his kids look unconvinced, Jeff adds some reality to their situation with, "Not much worse, but worse nonetheless."

No one smiles, but they nod in affirmation, which is better than how they felt before.

The same fears hold true to the other five teams in all the houses. For this has just been the first night.

There will be more seen and unseen complications to come...But the turn of events for three of the five teams might bear some good, if the hedgies play their card right.

But the situation remains the same. If anyone messes up, it's a one-way ticket to a verminator's or vigilante homeowner's trophy room.

---

I hope this chapter is everything you hoped for and more!

See you next time!