On the redder side of things
"Grif, Simmons, hustle up ladies. I've got news to deliver on the pronto!"
A man in red armor paced around the commons room of Red Base, with an M45D tactical shotgun magnetically attached to his back. In the background stood a whiteboard leaning on a wall with crudely drawn plans of attacking the 'enemies' (which are the Blues in this case) and tons of other stuff that involve inflicting harm on a certain orange soldier.
Grif and Simmons rushed into the room with Simmons standing attentively and saluting once in front of his superior while Grif basically slouched and tinkered with his helmet.
"About time you idiots showed up. I shall now begin red team's mandatory meeting."
"Yes sir, Sarge!" the maroon soldier enthusiastically answered.
Grif decided to look around the room a bit noticing that there were two members that were missing.
"Hey, since this is a mandatory meeting among us, where the hell are Donut and Lopez?" Grif asked.
"Ah, just what I needed" said a relaxed voice that came from the shower. Outside of it were various parts of pink-; my apologies, I mean, 'lightish red';- armor scattered across the floor. A brown robot nearby was busy adjusting the screws in his arm because of what happened earlier.
"It's actually a sad thing Lopez since you can never experience the soothing feeling of a warm shower." the voice in the shower room said.
"Incluso si fuera un humano, se necesitaría mucho más que una ducha tibia para animarme después de lo que hicieron hoy" (Even if I were a human, it's gonna take a lot more than a warm shower to cheer me up after what you fools did today.)
"Oh my, did your tibia fracture Lopez? We should go and ask Doc for help." the person in the shower completely mistranslated after stepping out. He was wearing a bathrobe with a towel wrapping around his blond head. He quickly dried himself before entering his own room to change clothes, then putting on the black tech suit that all of them wore underneath the armor and then attaching each armor piece one at a time.
"Soy un robot tonto, no tengo huesos"(I'm a robot you fool, I don't have bones) replied Red Team's resident Spanish speaking droid.
"Oh, silly me. You are a robot! You guys don't have bones. Gee Lopez, you could have told me earlier." Donut said to him.
"Eso es lo que acabo de decir ahora mismo idiota!" (That is what I just said right now you moron!") Lopez exclaimed.
Donut noticed that Lopez was still busy attaching his arm so he went over to try and help him.
"No need to do that by yourself Lopez. We are a team and teammates help each other. Now allow me to help you thrust your arm into that tight hole socket of yours."
"Lo único con lo que necesito ayuda es estrangularte mientras duermes." (The only thing I need help with is to strangle you in your sleep.)
Back to the place where things are bluer.
Church and Tucker finally arrived back at their base. It was peaceful. Too peaceful. No explosions, the area wasn't a mess, no yelling and cursing. Maybe it was wishful thinking that their idiot of a teammate did not cause trouble for today. Things might just seem to go smoothly before they head over to the meeting area.
"Well," Church began "looks like we may finally place up that office sign that says 'Days without accide-"
*KABOOM!*
"Tucker did it!" yelled a childish voice coming inside their base.
"And now I just jinxed ourselves. Fuck."
"Caboose, what the hell did you just do again!?" Tucker irately yelled before heading over inside to see what Caboose had done.
Church sighed and knelt on the ground. He placed his rifle beside him before looking up.
"Yo, God! If you even are there, then sorry for not freaking believing in you! If this is your way of punishing us, then could the next ones just be way less bad than this? Damn!" he cursed one last time and did that breathing exercise to relieve him of his fuming anger right now. Could command just not give him better teammates? Was that so much to ask? Knowing that it wouldn't change a thing, he steeled himself and entered his base.
Hearing the source of the noise that was arguing, he made his way to the kitchen were the sprinklers automatically doused the flames. Standing next to the oven was a person clad in wet PT gear holding a tray of what seemed to be burnt cookies. His hair was so damp that messy blonde bangs covered the rest of his eyes thus obscuring his view. Hearing that another person's footsteps entered the kitchen area, he automatically faced the sound and happily presented his piece of work.
"Church, Tucker, look what I baked for you!" he yelled.
Tucker interrupted him. "Caboose, you're facing the wrong way."
In which, technically he was. Caboose actually just presented his baked goods to a blank wall. He swept his hair to the side before looking to his left where both his friends were standing.
"Here you go!" He placed his tray near them.
Both the armored soldiers looked towards each other and shrugged. Each of them took a cookie. Tucker pretended to eat, in which he just smashed the treat in front of his helmet and letting the crumbs fall on the wet floor while Church just sighed and placed his in one of his armor's storage compartments.
"So, what do you think?" Caboose hopefully asked.
"Listen buddy, let's all eat this later, okay? Right now, we are going to need you to armor up because we will be going on a field trip to HQ's meeting hall." Church informed the special blue.
"Yes! I love field trips!" Caboose declared as he dropped his baked cookies on a nearby table before rushing to his room to get his armor set.
In all honesty, Caboose wasn't that entirely useless of a teammate. While his brain may be functioning in ways where Gulch's 'Stupidity Measuring Machine' might explode due to the over processing of data, he has the strength to that of an ox and could punch like a freaking freight train to compensate for his mental deficiency.
After Caboose changed into his armor, which has a noticeable difference due to it having a Mark V helmet, and with Tucker pleading to watch one more of his newly acquired 'film', the angry leader dragged the two members of his little group outside of the base where three of them stood beside their powerhouse of a vehicle: a green M820 scorpion, which was parked beside Tucker's so called 'Rock'
"Alright Tucker, you get to drive and take us to Alpha base. You Caboose will be taking the machine gunner's seat."
"Okay!" Caboose hopped into his assigned seat.
"Finally, something good to do." said Tucker.
Both he and Church went inside the driver's cockpit. Church had to crawl much further into the back to get into the main gunner's seat in the turret. Tucker then pulled back the driver's hatch and started the engine. The blues now rode their Scorpion Tank and drove it to Alpha Base.
END
Apologies for the short length of the chapter. I will be updating Red vs. Blue: Remnant next before continuing this.
maus69420 signing out. Until next time guys. Adios!
10/13/'23. Fixed a few grammatical errors