Chapter 46: The Magic Question Part 2

Cheyenne Mountain, Colorado, United States of America, Earth, October 1st, 1998

"...and that's about it."

Jack O'Neill blinked at Glimmer. Those had been quite a number of words for something simple. "So… you want to get the United Nations to declare open season on genocidal countries?"

Judging by the way Catra grinned, Daniel frowned and Carter pressed her lips together, he had hit the right amount of levity for such a topic.

Glimmer frowned as well. "Not 'open season'. We just want to ensure that the United Nations know that we're ready to intervene if a country should start a genocide. Of course, it should be obvious that we wouldn't stand by in such a case."

Well, they had been sending mixed signals if they thought this would be obvious, in Jack's opinion. "There are already witch hunts going on," he pointed out - diplomatically. The Etherians hadn't intervened in those.

"Not organised by any state," Glimmer said. "As far as we know."

But likely tolerated. Then again, the last thing Earth needed was a bunch of aliens with a space fleet playing world police.

And, of course, Daniel hadn't gotten that memo. "But there are several states where witchcraft is a capital crime."

"Yes." Glimmer pressed her lips together. "But since magic hasn't been restored to Earth, there aren't any actual sorceresses on Earth yet."

"With the exception of you," Catra added as she fiddled with one of the plaques on the table.

Well, better a broken plaque than some broken gadget in Carter's lab.

"I'd like to see them try to try me," Glimmer said with a sneer. Then she sighed. "Yes, we're aware of that. But as long as such countries don't actually start killing people for having a magical talent…" She shrugged. "We don't want to interfere with other countries."

Jack nodded even though he could think of quite a few countries which deserved to be interfered with.

"But as long as they know that we won't tolerate such things, they should know better than to do it," Adora said.

"But once people know where the, ah, red line is," Daniel said, "they know how far they can go - and likely will go as far. So, by stating you'll intervene if a genocide starts, you also state that you won't intervene if it's not a genocide."

"That does not follow," Teal'c pointed out. "Unless stated outright, nothing prevents Etheria from intervening without a genocide taking place."

"Like the United States' stance towards our defence commitment towards Taiwan," Carter said.

"I don't think that policy is a good idea in this case," Jack retorted. "The countries where witches are being hunted aren't as rational as the Chinese. Which, by the way, will probably grow a little anxious if you're vague, what with their policy in Tibet."

Glimmer winced. "Yes. We're aware of that issue. We… don't wish to get involved in such cases."

Ah. Jack couldn't help grinning a little - and showing his teeth. "Only clear cases of 'let's kill those people' qualify as genocide, right?"

That earned him a glare from almost everyone.

"Jack! We're talking about military intervention here!" Daniel blurted out.

Glimmer, though, met his eyes. "Yes. We don't want to start a war over… cultural issues. Not unless they lead to people getting killed for their ancestry."

"We probably would have to declare war on everyone on Earth if we did that," Catra said with a snort.

Adora glared at her, then sighed as well. "Yes. We don't want to start a war even though we don't like what is happening in Tibet and elsewhere."

Jack had no doubt that Adora hated to restrain herself. She wasn't the type to do 'Realpolitik'.

"Well, if you wait for the United Nations to call something out as genocide, the Chinese won't have to worry about being put on the spot," Jack said.

"We're aware of that as well," Glimmer said. "But that's your system."

"And unless the system breaks and the mass graves and gas chambers start up again, you're not going to break it." Jack nodded. Sensible, but it did leave a bad taste in your mouth - worse, of course, if you had the power to actually do something about it.

"Yes." Glimmer took a deep breath. "We also hope that things will improve in several countries as a result of our alliances and our presence, but that will take a while."

Adora nodded, as did Daniel, almost eagerly. Jack tried to hide his cynicism. He didn't think things would improve as the Etherians hoped. Or some of them - Catra didn't look as if she thought things would magically improve.

Heh, 'magically'! Jack snorted. "Yeah, sounds like you've got this thought out."

"Kind of," Bow spoke up. "We wanted a second opinion from someone we trust." He smiled at Jack and the others. Adora positively beamed.

And Jack suppressed the urge to curse. He didn't like being put on the spot like this. It was worse since everyone was so sincere, so trusting towards him - and so much was at stake. He glanced at Catra, who grinned at him. The damn catwoman knew what he was feeling.

And, of course, his team was letting him take the lead here. Even Daniel, who could usually be trusted to speak up before anyone else could stop him.

Jack sighed. "Well…" What to say? And how to word it? He wasn't exactly a politician. Or a diplomat. "It's a touchy issue," he said. "And every situation is unique."

"You mean some situations get the veto, and others don't," Catra cut in unhelpfully. That was Jack's role, damn it!

He narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. "If you say you're following the United Nations lead and rules, are you going to stick to it? Even when a case of genocide gets vetoed?"

The way the Etherians exchanged glances, that wasn't a given.

"One could claim that a country stepping in like that to prevent an intervention is helping to commit a genocide," Glimmer said.

That was… well, it wasn't a bad argument, Jack had to admit. One he'd make himself - hell, why was he arguing in favour of following orders he knew were wrong again? Right, to keep the Etherians from taking over. "And what if the other countries don't agree with that interpretation?"

"Would they?" Catra's ears twitched. "Wouldn't they like to gang up on such a country?"

"You'd be surprised." Jack shrugged. "No one wants to be the next one up on the wall."

"I thought that was the purpose of the United Nations." Bow frowned. "To ensure the crimes against humanity wouldn't happen again."

"Yep," Jack said. "But the great powers wanted a little insurance so the weaker countries couldn't enforce their rules on them."

Adora scowled at that. "If rules don't apply to everyone, what good are they?"

Jack grinned. "Well, that's the question, right?"

Oh, the glare she sent at him for having her words twisted back at her.

"Well…" Daniel must have finally reached his limit. "The question of what to do if a law or rule has been deemed unfair or unjust is a very old question. What if breaking the law does even more harm? There's the fact that any law that's not enforced weakens the entire system, although that's more abstract, and then there's the cost of any intervention. You need not only to remove the government but replace it. And there might be resistance to the new regime. Violent resistance. Coups and regime changes rarely were bloodless. When exactly is it justified to break the law? When someone guilty would escape justice? Or when someone innocent would be punished?"

"When someone would be killed for being born," Adora snapped. "You can't obey a law that defends such a crime!"

"I don't think that's going to be an issue," Carter told her. "Any country pursuing such a policy would be a pariah."

Jack agreed - if only because no one would want to provoke the Etherians like that.

"But what about displacing a native population? Attacking their culture?" Daniel shook his head. "It's a lot harder to judge such cases."

"You mean that 'cultural imperialism' people accuse us of?" Catra asked. She scoffed.

"Yes." Daniel nodded. "A considerable number of countries feels that an attempt to enforce global human rights on them is imperialism in another form." He frowned, "Although it is kind of ironic that when it comes to the discrimination of homosexuality, many countries are now defending the values originally forced on them by colonial powers as their own."

"That's stupid," Adora commented. "And it doesn't matter anyway - you don't get to kill people for being born with magic or a love for the same sex."

Yeah, She-Ra wouldn't budge on that. Although drawing the line at killing people wasn't a bad idea. "Well, if you stick to that, you shouldn't have too many problems," Jack said.

"And we'll have to leave the cultural stuff alone in exchange?" Catra cocked her head sideways. Like a cat.

"Uh…" Daniel took a deep breath. "It's a really touchy subject. A lot of countries want to foster a sense of… patriotism. Loyalty to the nation. Taken too far, that can be seen as an attack on minorities and their cultures. It's controversial," he added with a shrug.

"Well, we don't want to meddle with the internal affairs of others if we can help it," Glimmer said. She didn't look happy, though. "We don't want to replace a government or occupy a country."

Jack was glad - the Etherians occupying another country would be a disaster for everyone involved. It would probably make the worst CIA attempts at regime change look competent.

And it would probably be worse for the Etherians than Vietnam had been for the USA. Jack really didn't want to see them broken like some of the vets he knew.

"So, we're going to talk to the United Nations," Glimmer said. "Voice our concern. Mention how genocide violates their own charter. And hope they get the message."

Jack couldn't help himself. "And if they don't?"

"Then we get to train planetary invasions and decapitation missions," Catra said with a wide grin.

"It's not funny, Catra!" Adora protested.

"I know."

"Oh, you!"

Jack really hoped that the United Nations would get their act together. The Etherians getting bogged down in an insurgency would be a nightmare - and the best thing to happen to the Goa'uld.

Palais des Nations, Geneva, Switzerland, October 2nd, 1998 (Earth Time)

"...and as you can see here, in this example, restoring a planet's magic doesn't change its biosphere significantly or instantly. It merely activates the magic field you can tap into if you have the talent. You can check the data yourself; we've included it in the folder you've got."

Entrapta was great at this, Adora thought as she watched her friend explain magic to various diplomats - again. Glimmer would have lost her temper long ago. Had lost her temper, actually, when she had heard of the request to explain once more what magic did and didn't. Fortunately, she hadn't been in public. Her choice of words would have caused a lot of friction with Earth.

Entrapta, though, saw nothing wrong with explaining things over and over again. Probably because she was used to talking to bots who were slow learners at the start when their control matrices had just begun to develop. Which was why Entrapta was here, explaining things, with Adora helping out, since Bow was with Glimmer, and Catra and Hordak wouldn't be of any help here - quite the opposite.

"If one has to learn to, ah, tap into that field, does that mean there won't be any magical plants or animals? I mean, how would you teach them that?" a diplomat asked.

"Good question!" Entrapta beamed at him. "There are actually plants and animals back on Etheria which use magic. But they either evolved to make use of magic or are the result of genetic engineering by the First Ones. Now, it's not impossible that Earth had such plants and animals as well - you had magic until a thousand years ago, and the Ancients and other species certainly had enough time to experiment on Earth - but those organisms would have been affected by the loss of magic." Entrapta pouted a little. "I guess some might have gone extinct. If they needed magic to fly or breathe water, for example. Or survive in hostile environments. On the other hand, if they just used magic for non-essential powers, they could have survived. And a thousand years is a short time for evolution to lose such a power, so they might regain it."

"So we will have to worry about dragons and other monsters returning?" another diplomat gasped.

Entrapta looked confused. "Why would you worry about that? Creatures that went extinct wouldn't magically appear. And while some organisms might regain the use of magic - on an instinctive level - Earth had magic until a thousand years ago, and you obviously could handle whatever magical creatures were around just fine back then - and now you have far more advanced technology!"

"How could you know that?" a delegate from one of the hostile countries asked with a glare. One who, unlike others, hadn't left. Instead, he had stayed and spent his time trying to make magic look evil.

"You've got records going further back," Entrapta explained. "If magical creatures were such a threat, they'd show up in your documents."

"There are countless myths and legends about dangerous monsters!"

The British delegate shook her head. "With all due respect, but those myths and legends talk about single incidents. Local problems, not something that affected entire countries, much less the world. Please stop your fearmongering. If dragons reappeared tomorrow, we probably would have to treat them as an endangered species right away."

A number of people laughed at that. But Adora could see that more were still concerned.

"There is another aspect," the delegate from Japan spoke up. "We have myths of foxes and tanuki who could take on the form of people. Obviously, they would have to be intelligent for that. And obviously, neither species currently possesses such intelligence. If the myths are based on truth, though, and such animals can, with the help of magic, become sapient, how could we continue to keep them from that?"

"Animals taking the form of people?" the hostile delegate spat. "What if they breed with humans? We cannot allow that to happen! Earth is no place for half-animal abominations!"

Adora was really grateful that Catra wasn't present. Her lover would have ripped into the bigot. Maybe even literally.

"It figures you'd think of sex right away!" someone else snapped through the muttering this comment caused.

Entrapta, as usual, was unfazed. "If they can have fertile offspring with humans without technological or magical intervention, they would be the same species, so they would be humans," she said, smiling. Then she cocked her head to the side and put her finger on her cheek, frowning a little. "Of course, if an inherent magical ability would allow them that, one would have to consider whether or not that classification is still true." Then she shrugged. "Not that it matters as long as both are intelligent, right?"

It was obvious that not everyone shared her view.

"May I remind some of our esteemed colleagues that we're here to have questions about magic answered, not to debate whether or not magic should be restored," the British delegate said.

That helped to quiet things down a little. Only a little, though. And while Entrapta didn't mind explaining things, Adora was getting a little fed up with it.

So she had to control her expression while Entrapta told the delegates that, yes, in theory, plants could develop deadly magical poison. But the plants would have had that a thousand years ago, so people would know. And magic wouldn't suddenly make plants and animals and people change into something else. Well, not without a spell or a device.

Which didn't go over well. That genetic engineering could do much more, as Entrapta pointed out in response to the exclamations, didn't really help either.

Cheyenne Mountain, Colorado, United States of America, Earth, October 3rd, 1998

"...so it took a few repetitions, but they finally understood how magic works." Entrapta beamed as her hair fiddled with a few of Samantha Carter's tools in her lab.

"You must be saint!" Dr Georgovich - who insisted Sam and Entrapta should call him Iwan - exclaimed. "Explaining to politicians?" He shook his head. "Easier to explain mistake to commissar!"

"Commissar?" Entrapta cocked her head to the side while her hair didn't move.

"Oh, communist commissar. Very bad, very strict, no humour. Used to motivate and punish everyone in old Russia."

Entrapta didn't look like she understood Dr Gregorovich's black humour, so Sam cut in: "The political commissars were functionaries responsible for the morale of the soviet military. They have a reputation for brutal punishments without often bothering whether or not their victims were actually guilty."

"Yes! USSR collectivised everything, including punishment!" Dr Gerogovich chuckled. "One for all, and all for one, da?"

Entrapta wrinkled her forehead. "That sounds… not very nice."

"It was brutal and unjust," Sam said.

"Da! Make mistake? Be called saboteur! Other make mistake? Be called saboteur! Off to Gulag either way - if you lucky!"

"A gulag was a forced labour camp in the USSR," Sam explained.

"Oh."

"But I think we have exhausted that topic," Sam went on, narrowing her eyes at her colleague.

"Ah, yes. Sorry. Not everyone like Russian humour." Dr Gregorovich nodded. "We were talking about you teaching politicians!"

"Yes!" Entrapta perked up. "It's like teaching bots - just tell them until they understand."

That reminded Sam of the old joke about trying to explain a joke to a sergeant-major, but she pushed the thought away. She didn't want to get side-tracked again. "Did you explain magitech as well?"

"Yes!" Entrapta nodded, then frowned. "I thought that would make them understand how silly their fears are about sorcerers when technology using magic will be much easier to build and use - by anyone, not just sorcerers. But they didn't seem to understand that."

Sam suppressed a sigh. "People generally don't feel better about something which they're afraid of if you tell them there are worse things to fear."

"Ah." Entrapta nodded again. "I see."

Sam wondered if she did but didn't ask. That would've been rude.

"Ah! I understand why orders came to focus on magitech research!" Dr Georgovich nodded enthusiastically. "I told superior that I am scientist, not wizard, but did he listen? No!"

So the Russians were looking into magic combined with technology. Like the United States. Or that was what they wanted you to think - she heard the Colonel's voice in her mind.

Not that it mattered - the subject was fascinating. The possibilities were almost endless. And you didn't need to be a sorceress or princess to work with it - or to build it. But a sorceress in your team should make researching new such technology much easier. Or would - the only trained sorceress amongst the Etherians on Earth was Glimmer, and not only was she very busy with diplomacy, but she also didn't seem fond of doing research in a laboratory. Well, maybe if they recruited Bow? That might entice his girlfriend to work with them, and… Sam pressed her lips together. That was a very manipulative plan. She knew better than that. She was better than that.

She'd crack her most recent project soon enough with just Entrapa as a lab partner. Or science buddy, as Entrapta called it.

But, she added to herself as she saw Dr Georgovich smiling at Entrapta, she would have to consider if she wanted to risk Russia getting access to her project. In theory, she was working for Stargate Command, under the control of the United Nations. In practice, Sam had no doubt that every scientist at the gate had some projects that they weren't supposed to share. Or at least data.

"SO!" Entrpata beamed at her. "Want to research bots that can track magic?"

Sam blinked. That would… Well, it would certainly be very useful. Very powerful. But also very dangerous for anyone with magical talent. And it wouldn't be very hard to construct - she had some ideas about the magic scanner they had built. If it could use magic to detect Naqadah, it was likely that magic was detectable as well. And…

She sighed. She really hated to do this to Entrapta, but even if it wouldn't prevent someone from inventing this in the future, the last thing they needed was a magic detector on Earth right now. "I would love to, but there is a problem with that…"

Earth Orbit, Solar System, October 3rd, 1998

"...and tensions remain high between India and Pakistan despite the Secretary-General of the United Nations personally meeting with both country's prime ministers. Protests in support of Pakistan have erupted in several Arab countries, and the police had to stop a mob attacking India's embassy in Riad with lethal force…"

"...and then we'll cover how this new development will affect the numerous Indian migrant workers in the Gulf States…"

"...PETA stated that with the possibility of animals gaining sapience thanks to magic, eating meat now definitely was murder, and called for the immediate abolishment of…"

"...latest polls show even greater support for the proposed amendment to the constitution regarding gay marriage and other rights, although a number of holdout states and members of congress continue to…"

"...rumours about the Etherians planning to address the United Nations about the state of human rights in the world persist, though nothing has been confirmed yet, and…"

"...Amnesty International voiced their concerns about the state of human rights in Etheria, citing the lack of formalised protections and international oversight, and the absence of democratic structures and a free press in the countries ruled by monarchies as worrying, and…"

Catra rolled her eyes. "Why do they have so many channels if it's all the same?"

"It's not the same," Hordak said, moving the bowl with snacks a little closer to him. "You can spot the biases of every news organisation by comparing them to each other."

Catra snorted. "And since when are you an expert on news agencies? The Horde didn't have any news!" Only propaganda.

"But the Horde had scouting and reconnaissance troops, whose reports I read regularly." He sounded a little smug. "I learned what was lost between the lines of any report depending on who made it."

She snorted again."I know how bad the casualty rates were in that branch. How long did a regular scout last?"

Hordak huffed and stuffed some fried corn into his mouth. Probably to avoid answering her. "Long enough."

Catra grinned. "You mean, you knew a few soldiers and how they worked."

"Just like there are a few channels worth watching," he shot back.

"Whatever," Catra said, grabbing a drink. "We can't…"

"There you are!"

Catra turned her head. Adora had burst into the lounge. "Yes?" she said, her ears twitching. Adora knew she had been taking a break in the lounge.

"We have a problem!"

"What?"

"Did something happen to Entrapta?" Hordak said, getting up.

Catra tensed. If anything had happened, it would have been on Earth. And Entrapta was the only one of them currently on the planet, having taken the shuttle down to Stargate Command. Everyone else was on Darla.

Adora blinked. "Uh, not that I'd know." She shook her head. "But we have a problem - we have fan mail!"

"Fan mail?" Catra cocked her head.

"Yes, fan mail! People who like us are writing to us to tell us that they like us!" Adora nodded emphatically.

"And why is that a problem?" Catra asked. That sounded like, well, not a bad thing.

"Because we haven't been answering them!"

Oh.

"How did that happen?" Glimmer sounded angry - and looked angry - but Catra couldn't help suspecting that her anger wasn't so much because of the fan mail problem but because her time with Bow had been interrupted. Her clothes did look a little rumpled.

"Well…" Adora looked a little guilty, too, for interrupting them, Catra thought. "Apparently, since we didn't have an official mail address, the mail was shuffled back and forth between various countries without getting delivered. Some letters were returned to the sender."

"And they didn't tell us?" Glimmer growled.

"Well, they did, today - kind of. Mostly by accident, when a clerk in the United Nations wanted to know if we now had an official mail address. It seems that they had to screen the mail for poison and bombs and such, and then tried to find an official mailing address, and kind of sent the mail back forth between the countries before storing it all in America and going through the diplomatic channels to ask us about it. But we found out that the request never reached us." Adora frowned. "I don't know how that could happen. They could have just sent it to Stargate Command and let them contact us."

"Back home, I'd blame Kyle," Catra said with a chuckle.

"Or it was sabotage," Hordak added.

Catra doubted that. It sounded more like some screwup. Unless, of course, there were important messages that had gotten lost as well. She narrowed her eyes. "So, they scanned our mail for bombs and poison? And maybe sensitive information?"

"We should have gotten an official mail address," Bow said. "We should get one, in fact."

"Yes!" Adora agreed. "And we need to answer our mail! And apologise for not doing so sooner!"

"Great," Catra grumbled. As if they didn't have better and more important things to do. But Adora cared about that. And Catra cared about her. "Let's go and collect the mail, then."

There went her relaxing evening in the lounge.

US Postal Service Storage Facility, New York, Earth, October 3rd, 1998

"...and I am terribly sorry about this. We didn't know you weren't informed, so we just kept storing the mail. We didn't want to bother you, you know - and we couldn't. We're storage, not customer service. We asked the management to contact you; that was all we could do." The flunky in the ugly uniform was wringing his hands, Catra noted. Not that she cared. Not faced with…

"We need to get Darla down here," Adora said. "That won't fit into the shuttle."

"I'm not sure it'll fit into Darla's hold," Bow said.

"Not without stuffing every nook and cranny with letters, including the lab," Glimmer said.

…a small mountain of letters. Catra shook her head. How could the people on Earth have missed so many letters? Usually, they loved their paperwork!

"I'm really sorry, but regulations being regulations…"

Catra glared at the man, and he shut up.

"Well…" Adora grimaced. "I think this will take us a little longer to process than I expected."

"We could just set it on fire," Catra suggested.

Glimmer looked like she'd agree, but Adora gasped. "Catra!"

"So, that's a no?"

"Catra!"

Dear She-Ra! Are you really a Princess? Art, that's my brother, said princesses are stupid and not real, but I saw you on TV! You are so pretty and tall and strong! How can I become a princess? Love, Maggie

Catra snorted, folded the letter and put it back into the envelope, then waved it at Adora. "Here's another one for you!"

Adora sighed as she took it and put it on the huge stack next to it. "Thanks."

"No problem." Adora's stack was the biggest so far, Catra saw. Well, that was to be expected - Adora was the greatest, after all. The humans had good taste.

Catra grinned as she picked up the next letter.

Dear Bow! I just wanted to let you know that I think you're the best! A techmaster and archer, you're like a black Green Arrow! Do you have the same trick arrows as he has? If you don't know Green Arrow, he's a superhero, only he doesn't have any special powers, except for his trick arrows, and he's a master archer! I'm taking archery lessons already! Is Bow your superhero name, and do you have a secret identity? Yours sincerely, Tim.

"Bow, you've got a fan!" Catra grinned and threw the letter over to Bow.

"Thanks!" He smiled, though he looked a little… disturbed.

"What's wrong?" Glimmer had noticed it as well.

"Just…" He sighed, then held up a letter. "They're thanking me for being a good black role model. And they said their son's father was in prison, and they've been trying to find good role models for their kid… They're asking if I could visit the kid's school."

Ah. Catra suppressed a snort.

"Well, we should have time to visit a school…" Adora said.

"And then turn every other request down?" Glimmer shook her head. "We can't visit everyone who asks."

Adora frowned. "But they're so earnest… This girl asks me to come show her class that girls loving girls is OK."

"Where is it from?" Bow asked.

"Canada."

"I think they already know that there," Glimmer said,

"Well, it seems no one told their school yet," Adora said. "Although the letter's a month old." She put it down on another pile after pinning the envelope to it.

"I think their government already told everyone that girls loving girls is perfectly fine," Catra said. At least she remembered a letter thanking them for showing that gay marriage was a human right from there. "Canada's on the list for an alliance meeting, right?"

"Yes," Glimmer said. "They haven't pushed, though."

"They're probably too polite for that," Catra joked.

"Oh! This one's for you, Glimmer!"

"Thanks." Glimmer tried to act as if she didn't care, but Catra had caught her glancing at the much larger stack of letters for Adora a few times. Glimmer opened the letter and blinked. "They're thanking me for doing so much to return magic. And… they invite me to visit their coven? And share my knowledge of magic, but only if I want to?"

"What's a coven?" Adora asked.

"A group of witches working together, part of Earth's magical traditions," Glimmer said.

"We don't have time to visit every coven," Catra reminded her. "Besides, magic hasn't been restored yet. You'd just have tea with them."

"They want the visit after magic has been restored," Glimmer said. But she was pouting.

Well, that was her problem. It wasn't as if Catra cared about the fact that the number of letters addressed to her was smaller than Glimmer's. She wasn't a princess, after all.

And, she spat with a slight hiss after reading the next letter, "I don't hunt mice!"

Glimmer chuckled.

"Really," Catra complained. "Why are so many people interested in my fur and ears and tails?"

"Most of us look like humans. You're different," Bow said.

"And you're much prettier than Hordak," Adora added with a smile.

Well, of course, she was! Catra straightened a little. "That's why they want pictures." Lots of picture requests, actually. Almost as many as Adora's, if the stacks were any indication.

"Signed pictures are commonly traded on Earth, I believe," Bow said.

"And we can print them en bloc and send them out without losing too much time," Glimmer said.

"We could also create action figures!" Bow said, smiling. "Or figurines."

"Yeah, because we want people playing games with us." Catra snorted.

"Well, that wouldn't be bad, would it?" Bow asked.

"Who cares." Catra shrugged. "We're here to protect Earth and find allies, not to sell pictures or figurines."

"We wouldn't sell the pictures," Adora said.

"We actually should," Glimmer corrected her. "Or we'll be swamped in requests. More than we already are," she added with a glance at the mountain that had barely shrunk in the hours since they started. Still too much for the shuttle. And too much for Darla's hold. Maybe they could commandeer a frigate's hold for this…

"Oh." Adora gasped.

"What?" Catra narrowed her eyes.

"This boy said his parents were in heaven and, since we have spaceships, asked if I could bring them back…" Adora sighed and put the letter down.

Catra suppressed a curse. Damn, she had thought the letters from people calling them names and wishing them dead were bad, but this… "Let's take a break!"

"But we still have so many letters to go through…"

"Yes. And they're not going to disappear," Catra told her.

Unfortunately.

Cheyenne Mountain, Colorado, United States of America, Earth, October 4th, 1998

"Fan mail?" Jack O'Neill resisted the urge to mime cleaning his ears. Carter wouldn't appreciate it - she had glared at his latest joke, even though that had been a good one. Probably encountered some problem she couldn't solve easily. Although he couldn't spot anything like it in the lab. Maybe it was some theoretical physics stuff.

"Yes, Sir," Carter said, nodding. "The Etherians apparently received vast amounts of fan mail and are now undecided about the best way to cope with it."

"What's the problem? Write a form letter, print it a few hundred times, send it to everyone. Or hire people to send the letters if that's beneath a princess," Jack said.

"The amount of mail they received was much larger than a few hundred letters," Carter replied. "Apparently, due to a bureaucratic mishap and unclear regulations for international mail delivery as well as some politics at the United Nations, all the mail addressed at them - at least from North America and Europe - was collected since their arrival."

Jack whistled. That would have to be a lot of letters! And a bureaucratic mistake? He would bet that this was part of an attempt to gather intel. Or control what the Etherians heard from Earth. Just what the NID would do. Still… Even a mountain of letters just meant the Etherians would need to hire more people and print more form letters. So why wouldn't they? "Is there some Etherian cultural thingie that means they have to reply personally to every letter?"

Daniel was frowning at him, but Jack couldn't tell whether that was for his wording or not knowing if there was such a taboo.

"I doubt that," Carter replied. "Entrapta told me that she wanted to construct a reply-bot."

Jack nodded. That fit the princess. "Could you ask her if she could construct a paperwork-bot?" he joked. Well, semi-joked. Some help writing reports would be nice.

Carter was rolling her eyes, so her mood must have improved. "I will not abuse my friendship with her to save you from doing your work, Sir."

Jack carefully didn't point out that relaying to your superiors what your alien buddy told you while you were tinkering in your lab was a sort of friendship abuse by itself. He would do the same in her place - the Etherians were crucial for the world's defence, after all, and anything that upset them could have catastrophic consequences.

Besides, people had been doing this kind of gossipping since ancient times. Probably since the time of the Ancients.

"Uh…" Daniel pushed his glasses up. "Entrapta might not have the same cultural views on answering mail as her friends - they do come from different kingdoms on Etheria, and Etherian culture, even though it might appear so from an outsider's point of view, is very diverse. In fact, I would bet that, without the global media networks, Etheria's culture is more diverse than Earth's, at least relative to their population."

That was a lot of words for 'other Etherians might have that rule'.

"That's possible." Carter nodded, but Jack could tell she wanted to contradict Daniel.

"Anyway," Jack spoke up, "our alien friends having to cope with letters from their adoring fans doesn't look like a huge problem." Or any problem at all.

Carter shook her head. "There were also letters from people who didn't like them. Some were rather… crude."

Ah. "I hope they aren't planning to answer those in person." That could be a problem - Jack didn't want to imagine what Catra might do to someone threatening her. Or Adora. Or propositioning them.

"Not to my knowledge, Sir," Carter replied.

"Good."

"The Etherians, despite the medieval aesthetics of some of their cultures, do not share the kind of warrior culture that requires insults to be repaid with violence," Daniel said.

Jack looked at Teal'c. The Jaffa, on the other hand… It was probably a good thing Teal'c wasn't receiving such mail.

"Indeed," Teal'c spoke up as if he had read Jack's thoughts. "Although while Jaffa society differs in that area, it would be dishonourable for a trained warrior to actually fight an untrained civilian over such insults. However, a thrashing, as you would call it, would be perfectly appropriate."

Of course, pretty much every adult Jaffa was trained in combat, Jack knew. He nodded anyway. "So… what do you think they'll do? Should we give them advice on how to treat cramps in your hand?" He grinned - Adora would easily heal that, anyway.

Carter straightened. "Ultimately, it's their decision, Sir."

"But we can give them advice on what's an appropriate response in our society," Daniel said.

"And we don't want them spending all their time writing letters by hand to explain to little Timmy that they won't blow up his school to save him from his homework," Jack joked.

"No, we don't," Carter said. "I already told Entrapta that there's no expectation of a personal reply in such cases."

"Looking out for your science buddy?" Jack smiled. Carter probably also didn't want Entrpata to waste time on answering letters instead of doing science with her.

"Sharing data." Her smile was a little toothy. He probably shouldn't joke about being jealous of letters. "But, apparently, they have received a number of requests for personal visits."

"And are they planning to do that?" Jack asked. They'd need good security - with all the furore about magic, there was bound to be a nutcase who would try to blow up the 'evil aliens'. He blinked. 'Furore'? He must have been listening to Daniel a bit too much lately.

"I don't know, Sir. It's apparently something they still have to discuss."

"Like the return of magic?" Jack asked.

"Entrapta seems to be under the impression that they are merely waiting for the right moment to do that, Sir."

Great. Jack clenched his teeth. He wasn't looking forward to dealing with Dungeons and Dragons in real life. And if some idiot decided that Jack might have a magical talent because of his Ancient ancestry and wanted to send him to magic school…

He really wouldn't like that.