Chapter Five
Bart woke the next morning and turned towards the other students. Much to his relief, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle were on the other side of the room. As he was sublimely indifferent as to whether or not he was late to class, Bart had planned on disillusioning himself and waiting for his housemates to leave the dormitory. Unfortunately, before he could do so, an already-dressed Draco turned and saw Bart looking in his direction.
"Hey look, the Mudblood's awake!" Draco sneered. The rest of his classmates went about their business while he did so, pretending that both Bart and Draco didn't exist.
Seeing that the Shield Charm over his bed was still active, Bart hoped to try and provoke Draco into cursing him. To this end, Bart politely replied, "Good morning to you too, my dear Draco. I heard you had a pretty late night. Did you have a good time?"
Draco snarled at this but nonetheless didn't take the bait, venomously replying, "I'll have an even better one knocking you down a peg, Mudblood!"
"What, with your lack of magical ability? I bet that you couldn't curse me even if I gave you a free shot. Speaking of which, why don't I give you one right now?" Bart questioned as he held his hands up, revealing that he was wandless. He saw that Draco was mulling over the possibility, so Bart decided that the blond needed just one more push. "Come on. You know you want -".
While Bart was talking, Draco yelled, "Locomotor Mortis!" shooting a nasty-looking purple curse in Bart's direction. Bart simply smirked as the curse hit the shield and bounced back at Draco. Draco managed to dodge it but unfortunately Goyle, who had just come out of the bathroom behind him wearing a towel, was not so lucky.
After being hit by the curse, Goyle's legs locked and his towel dropped, leaving him stark naked while hopping around the room with his legs together. At this, the room laughed uproariously, leaving Draco to glare at Bart as he realised that he had been tricked.
"You win this round Simpson, but the war isn't over!" Draco snarled as he freed Goyle from the bind using a counter-curse and then stormed out, with Goyle in tow and Crabbe scampering behind them.
After they left, Theo nodded at Bart. "Nice work, Simpson", he complimented.
"What, you think that's good, dude? I've got a lot more tricks up my sleeve", Bart bragged as, proving his point, he disillusioned and silenced himself, causing Theo to gape in shock. Eventually, not seeing Bart move, the other boy shook his head, finished dressing and walked out, as the black boy, whose surname was apparently Zabini, quickly followed. Bart sauntered into the shower and had been in there for some time when suddenly the door unlocked and opened. Before Bart could react, a hand reached in to grab his arm and drag him bodily out of the shower.
Much to Bart's horror, the person who dragged him out of the shower was none other than Gemma. Her usually pretty face was contorted into rage and at that moment, she scared Bart more than Sideshow Bob or Dr. Demento did.
"What the hell have you been doing? Everyone else is in the hall eating breakfast except you! I searched for you in the halls and the common room", Gemma hissed.
Bart was tempted to tell her to eat his shorts, but at the moment she looked like she wanted to try and turn him into a slug. Not wanting to risk that, Bart sheepishly apologised.
"You want to be great, don't you Bart?" Gemma asked, using one of her delicate, slender fingers to lift Bart's head up so he made eye contact with her.
"Yes'm", Bart admitted.
"Well, then tell me. How do you expect to be a great wizard if you're so late to class that you don't get to learn anything new about magic? Do you really want the likes of Malfoy to become a better wizard than you, just because he attended class and you didn't?"
As Gemma expected, Bart looked revolted at the idea of Draco becoming a better wizard than him. His eyes narrowed in determination.
"I thought so. Now get dressed", she commanded, levitating his clothes into his arms with her wand.
Not wanting to cross her any further, Bart quickly complied, opened the door and ran up the stairs to the common room, with Gemma smirking as she followed.
Based on last night's events, she guessed that none of her fellow housemates would let Bart sit with them and so forced another housemate to move over, to which the boy glared but nonetheless reluctantly complied. As Bart sat down, Balthazar flew in and perched himself on his shoulder.
At witnessing this, Gemma laughed. "Looks like your owl finds your shoulder a good place to perch, Bart", she remarked.
"Yeah, he does that. Hopefully he doesn't poop down the back of my robes", Bart responded.
Balthazar then apparently decided to troll Bart by doing exactly that. Before he knew it, Bart felt something wet drop down the back of his robes.
"Balthazaaaaaaaaaaaaar…" he moaned, as Gemma saw the white streak and laughed before silently cleaning it.
After cleaning his robes, she discussed various things with Bart, including the annoying poltergeist Peeves and the areas where he typically inhabited so Bart could avoid him, before warning him about Filch's cat Mrs. Norris, who quickly brought Filch to wherever she last saw a student breaking a rule. This conversation was cut short when she saw the rest of the hall start to leave for classes and so told Bart to finish his food.
"But I don't even have a schedule! How the hell do I know where I'm going to go?" Bart querulously enquired.
Just as he uttered that last syllable, something papery materialised in his robe pocket. Lo and behold, it was a class schedule.
Bart looked at Gemma with wonderment. She in response gave him a little smile and replied cryptically, "Magic, my dear Mr. Simpson. The schedule materialises when it's time to head to your first class."
"Of course, Miss Farley", Bart said in a mock British accent, playing along with Gemma's mock formality. She then led him to the correct classroom, which was on the third floor, before bidding him farewell.
As it transpired, much like in Ilvermorny, his first class was Charms, with the diminutive Professor Flitwick.
"Now class, why don't we start our lesson by learning how to perform a Levitation Charm?" the overly excitable dwarf asked. After outlining some theory regarding the charm, which caused Bart to tap his foot in impatience as he waited for the opportunity to show off in front of his classmates, he then asked the class to lift their feather up using their wands and utter an incantation which Bart couldn't have been bothered learning.
Pfft…only rubes need a wand to lift things, Bart arrogantly thought to himself as he made a big spectacle of himself by extravagantly waving his arm, imitating a Nazi salute, towards the feather and lifting it far higher into the air than all the other feathers. This predictably caught Professor Flitwick's attention.
"Mr. S-Simpson? Are you lifting the feather in the air with just your arm?" the man asked in absolute astonishment.
"Who says I need my arm or hand to lift things?" Bart cockily asked as he lowered his arm and kept the feather in place using the technique he had previously outlined to Gemma – by picturing the feather floating in his mind as he focused on it.
Professor Flitwick and the rest of the class gaped in surprise. Bart enjoyed the attention he received greatly, particularly the murderous glare he received from Draco and 'bob-girl' for upstaging them, along with the expressions of stupefied shock from Draco's two 'boyfriends'.
"Eat my shorts, Dranny", he mouthed, strengthening Draco's glare further and making Bart chuckle.
"T-twenty points to Slytherin, Mr. Simpson! I-I have to tell you that this is the finest display of the Levitation Charm I've ever seen from a first year", Professor Flitwick stuttered.
"Oh well, what can I say? I just practice every day", Bart replied with false humility, hoping for the small man to heap more praise on him. He was not disappointed.
"Mere practice cannot allow a first-year to do this! You are a truly extraordinary talent and you may receive the best-ever grades in Charms if you apply yourself", Professor Flitwick gushed.
At this, Bart shook his head with more faux-modesty. In doing so, however, he failed to notice the looks Daphne and Tracey were giving each other, which only meant one thing, we need to talk about Simpson after class.
Soon enough, the class ended, with Professor Flitwick telling Bart that it was a pleasure to have someone as gifted as he in their class.
Heh, first time any teacher has told me that. Oh well, first time for everything, he thought as he strode out of the classroom and to his next lesson. He saw Draco and his posse up ahead and thought, Good. If they're ahead of me then they can't attack me from behind, and strolled to the next class.
He failed to notice that Daphne and Tracey were around the corner, watching him walk into the distance before following him.
"Daph? Did you see what Simpson did? He lifted that feather and kept it in place without even using his hand!" Tracey exclaimed.
"Do you always need to commentate for the blind, Trace?" an irritated Daphne snarked, feeling most displeased at Bart for upstaging her very meritorious efforts in the Charms class, wherein she was able to lift her feather with a wand faster than everybody else. She expected to be the best student in class and he had just endangered that expectation without even trying.
"Oh come on, Daph, surely you enjoy the competition?" Tracey joked. When Daphne scowled at her, she responded, "Ok maybe you don't – but think about it! Simpson can help us undermine Malfoy's influence in Slytherin. Thanks to his father's influence in the wider wizarding world, he behaves as if he's the Supreme Snake and there is nothing we can do about it ourselves. I think that Simpson is gifted enough to do something, though. I mean, Malfoy has already called him a Mudblood in front of everyone, so I don't think he'll think twice about helping us if we ask him."
At this, Daphne nodded in agreement but noted, "Tracey. You know that I don't like Malfoy and I agree that Simpson could help us, but even talking to him is dangerous. Besides, I think that somebody in our house has already taken him under their wing. Farley."
Tracey frowned. "The fifth-year prefect? Why do you think that?"
Daphne explained, "Trace, Farley has been the only Slytherin who has willingly let Simpson sit down next to them – twice now, in fact. Did you also see how close he was to Farley when we were walking to the common room?"
Tracey nodded and pondered Daphne's questions before replying, "Wait a minute. I don't remember seeing Simpson on the train with the rest of the first-years. Do you think that he was with Farley the entire time?"
Daphne nodded to her half-blood friend. "Yes, I do. It's odd that a prefect would invite a first-year to sit next to them during the welcoming feast. She would only have done that if she knew Simpson already and seeing as how he's an American Muggleborn, she couldn't have known him before the train ride.
I think that he ran into her onto the train, showed her some of what he can do and so she took him under his wing. I have no doubt that she wants to use his talents to get rid of her family's enemies."
Tracey replied, "Yes, that would be a very Slytherin thing to do – use other people to achieve your own agenda."
"Yes, it is. That nobody else in Slytherin wants to openly associate with Simpson makes it even easier for Farley to influence him, since in his mind she's the only one he can trust. Farley won't give up that influence over him without a fight.
Besides, I've known Farley since I was a child - we attended many of the same pure-blood events. She was always a social climber, always using other people to further her status or her family's, because her family was not as wealthy or influential as many other pure-blood families.
At these events, she was always talking to people who she thought could help her achieve better grades, or potioneers whom she thought might buy her family's products, or high-ranking officials within the Ministry whom she thought could help secure her a position in the Ministry when she graduated or help her father get a promotion.
I've also heard that her family can be very ruthless if they don't get their way. Some time ago, they burnt down a rival apothecary that was taking business from them. They later bought out another apothecary, but there were stories about how the owners refused and so the Farleys hired a group of mercenaries to invade their home, attack them and mentally manipulate them into signing the contract."
At this, Tracey frowned and asked, "What do you want to do?"
"Well, I don't think that the Farleys and the Malfoys like each other much. The Malfoys don't trust the Farleys because they never joined the Dark Lord, while the Farleys aren't blood-supremacists like the Malfoys. If they were, Farley would never have given Simpson the time of day.
I think that Farley will get Simpson to take care of Malfoy for us at some point before she graduates. In that time, we should become friends with Simpson. When Farley graduates, she'll obviously be out of Hogwarts and so we can convince Simpson to help us more than Farley, since we'll be his biggest allies in Slytherin house."
Tracey smiled at Daphne's idea and asked, "So do you want to set up a secret meeting with Simpson? I'll give him the note – because I've already spoken to him, hopefully he knows that I have nothing against him."
"The note will have to be anonymous, just in case he goes and tells Farley. We'll also need to get him to sign a contract with a jinx on it – if he tries to talk about the meeting with anyone else, he'll become tongue-tied until he changes the subject. If he refuses to sign, we'll end the meeting", Daphne reasoned.
Tracey smiled and nodded in appreciation of Daphne's superior intellect and magical ability.
Bart then discovered that, like at Ilvermorny, Transfiguration followed Charms; only this time with Professor McGonagall rather than Professor Goldstein. Bart had nicknamed the black-haired witch 'Mrs. Skinner' after hearing her lecture the class about fooling around.
He planned on doing exactly that just to spite her, but before he did she transfigured a desk into a pig, and vice versa. Seeing an opportunity to upstage her and grab some attention, Bart, with his wand still in his pocket, transfigured an empty chair into a dog without uttering so much as a syllable. The middle-aged teacher was so shocked by this that the dog ran out of the room before she could even react.
"How do you like that, Mrs. Skinner?" Bart remarked as the entire class gaped at him bar Daphne and Tracey, who were giving each other looks of vindication, and Draco, who looked positively infuriated. Professor McGonagall, for her part, scowled at his remark before her lips curled into a thin smile.
"I like that quite a lot, Mr. Simpson", she even-handedly responded. "10 points to Slytherin for that brilliant display of transfiguration", she said, making Bart look quite smug, "and 10 points from Slytherin for your cheek. The name is also McGonagall, Mr. Simpson, not Skinner. If you call me that again I will give you a detention."
Picturing Gemma turning him into a snail upon finding out that he got himself a detention in his first week, Bart gulped, to which the professor's smile broadened. Draco, his 'boyfriends' and 'bob-girl' also snickered. Bart, however, got to snicker in response when the rest of the class struggled to turn a matchstick into a needle, with only Daphne doing so. Losers, he thought.
Unfortunately for Bart, a class that he found far less fascinating came in the form of Herbology with the Ravenclaws, where a dumpy little witch called Professor Sprout had them study and take care of various plants and fungi. Having no interest in plants and fungi whatsoever, Bart went through the motions, only stopping to think to himself, Heh, Otto would enjoy finding out which plants he could smoke.
However, the structure of the class, where students stood side-by-side in a row opposing the other house, allowed Tracey to slip a note into Bart's pocket at the end of class. Bart felt the note but before he could react Tracey had vanished into a crowd of Slytherin and Ravenclaw students.
History held no particular interest for Bart, so after he took his seat in History of Magic, which Slytherin had with the Hufflepuffs, he read the note.
Simpson,
Please meet with my friend and me in an abandoned classroom on the 5th floor, 3rd door to the right of the stairwell after History of Magic. We would like to talk to you about some things, including surviving in Slytherin House.
Regards,
Your future friend
Bart read the note and became just a mite paranoid. He wondered who sent it; it couldn't have been a Ravenclaw because not only did he not actually know anyone from that house, but from what he could see Ravenclaws and Slytherins didn't exactly freely consort with each other in the halls. No, it had to be a Slytherin. The problem is that it could theoretically have been any of the first years who gave him that note, and that person might have been setting him up.
Considering it further, by the looks of them Bart doubted that Draco's 'boyfriends' were intelligent enough to set him up without Malfoy's input, whereas Zabini seemed to think himself too superior to interact with any of his classmates. That meant that the note must have come from Draco, 'bob-girl', Theo, Tracey, Daphne, Millicent or Rachel. Although Tracey had told Bart that they didn't have to be enemies, he was not entirely sure where he stood with her or anybody else.
Bart eventually decided that he would attend the meeting, but that if things looked dodgy he would quickly disappear. Before then though, he had sleep to catch up on, with Professor Binns' droning providing the perfect backdrop. To this end, he cast a Softening Charm on his History of Magic textbook, used it as a pillow and quickly fell asleep. At the end of the class, he thought, Well, that's the best nap I've ever had. That guy was more boring than Skinner after a lobotomy. Now to go to this secret meeting.
To ensure that he wouldn't be followed, Bart turned into an abandoned classroom and cast his trusty Disillusionment and Silencing Charms before moving out, being sure to have his wand out on the way.
Upon discovering that he could not unlock the classroom door in question using his regular method, Bart whipped out his wand, chanted "Alohomora Duo!", and stepped in with unusual diffidence. When he did, he discovered that Tracey and Daphne were looking back at him, wands outstretched. They then put their wands away.
"Don't worry, Simpson, we're not here to attack you. We just wanted to meet with you and discuss some things, since you are obviously disadvantaged in Slytherin due to being a Muggleborn", Daphne stated in her trademark posh, aristocratic accent, not wishing to reveal the true reasons for their overtures towards Bart.
"Yeah, so I read. No problemo; let's go", Bart insouciantly replied.
"Not just yet, Simpson. We need you to sign this contract, in which you promise not to tell anyone about this meeting, verbally or in writing. If you do, you will become tongue-tied until you change the subject. If you refuse to sign this contract, this meeting will end immediately", Daphne informed him whilst wincing inwardly at his American Muggle slang, putting forth a sheet of paper.
Bart thought for a minute. He didn't really want to go behind Gemma's back. On the other hand, these two girls could give him very useful advice about surviving in Slytherin and in the wider wizarding world. He did, however, decide that he should ask for more in exchange for signing the contract.
"I'll only sign this contract if you two protect me from attacks from Draco and his cronies. You'll also teach me whatever spells you ladies happen to know", Bart calmly demanded.
Daphne and Tracey looked at each other for a long while before Daphne sighed and replied, "Ok, Simpson. We'll have to be discreet about it though. We can't have Malfoy knowing we're looking out for you – it would be very bad for our standing in the house. We can only teach you widely-known spells, not family spells because we are not allowed to."
At this, Bart frowned, but nevertheless all three students amended and signed the contract.
Bart began by asking, "So what do you girls have to say about surviving in snake-land?"
At this, Tracey, who was familiar with both American and British wizarding and muggle culture due to her father, Julius, being a freelance curse-breaker, informed Bart that whenever he was in the Slytherin dungeons, he should avoid discussing his family in light of them being Muggles, something that Bart was all too happy to do.
However, Bart was aghast to hear that many Slytherins were unfamiliar with most Muggle technology, such as dishwashers, dryers, telephones and even televisions. Should Bart discuss such contraptions, they might think that he was infecting Slytherin with 'filthy Muggle culture' and so he would receive more severe 'corrective treatment' accordingly.
How can I watch Krusty the Klown, and Itchy and Scratchy then? Bart thought in horror.
Tracey continued her spiel by suggesting to Bart, for much the same reasons as before, that he should stop using American Muggle slang when around other Slytherins, like 'cool', 'dude', 'awesome', 'no problemo', and 'man'. Moreover, even if Slytherins weren't prejudiced against him to begin with, they wouldn't understand what he was talking about, thus impeding communication and the formation of alliances, which were very important in a house filled with brutality and prejudice. They also told Bart that terms like 'snake-land' and 'snake town' could be seen as pejoratives to Slytherins and treated accordingly, so they insisted that Bart refer to his house as 'Slytherin' at all times.
Daphne interceded by suggesting that Bart avoid students who were suspected to be scions of former Voldemort operatives or their sympathisers, because they might have him harmed or even murdered on account of being a Muggleborn. They suspected these children to not only be Draco and his posse, but also enigmas like Theo Nott. Bart was surprised at this; Theo had been outright complimentary towards him that morning.
"So how do you girls know all this stuff about Slytherin?" asked Bart. "You've only been here for a day."
"Because our parents were in Slytherin and so they spoke to us about what being a Slytherin was like", came Daphne's reply, to which Tracey nodded in agreement.
Bart, who with a shock realised the potential consequences if he failed to heed their advice, nodded and went against his natural inclinations by actually putting quill to parchment and recording this information.
He then asked about their families and how they operated compared to regular Muggles. He soon discovered that both girls were unwilling to reveal much about their families, merely providing widely known information, such as their parents' occupations and siblings. Daphne's father, Cyrus, sat on the Wizengamot whereas her mother, Roxanne, was an Obliviator. Tracey was an only child whereas Daphne had a younger sister named Astoria. Tracey did not mention her mother at all, which piqued Bart's interest, but she ignored his attempts to probe further.
They concluded by setting another meeting for some time down the track. Bart realised their game; they were only willing to slowly release information to Bart over a long period of time.
When Bart asked why, Daphne merely answered in her eloquent but enigmatic way, "Simpson, you must understand that everybody in Slytherin has an agenda. That agenda often does not favour Tracey or me. If somebody close to you invaded your mind, at least you wouldn't give away much about us that this person could use against us."
"So what's your agenda, then?" Bart pointedly asked.
Daphne responded with a small smile, "You will discover that in time, Simpson. We are not Gryffindors; we do not reveal all our intentions or thoughts at once, or without thinking."
Could have told Drainy that, Bart thought bitterly, not appreciating Daphne's evasive answer.
"I'm sure that you were cunning and resourceful back in Muggle America, Simpson, but being cunning and resourceful in Slytherin means something else entirely. You really need to be more subtle and thoughtful about the way you act and talk when in Slytherin", Daphne finished.
Bart then bade farewell to them, but was trying to comprehend Daphne's words on the way out. Somebody close to me; does she mean Gemma? What agenda could she have? What can she do that he hasn't yet told me about?
Daphne and Tracey saw Bart pondering Daphne's words as he left. They gave each other imperceptible smirks, knowing that they had planted a seed of doubt in Bart's mind about Gemma, and that he couldn't inform the calculating Prefect as to why he had that seed.
Some hours later, Bart trooped into the Slytherin common room after eating another delicious dinner. Immediately, he realised that something was wrong; the common room should not have been completely deserted at this hour.
Before he could react, however, the words "PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!" rang out from in front of him and Bart fell on his back, as rigid as a board.
It was then that ten fellow Slytherins revealed themselves and rushed Bart, punching and kicking him until he was bloodied, bruised and broken.
As he took the blows, he realised that he had never felt so helpless in his life. Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney's attacks felt like tickles next to this unrelenting bombardment of pain, and at least with the former trio he had a chance to escape. Not this time.
The physical assault had ended soon enough, with an older blonde student yelling, "That's for defiling Slytherin House with your presence, mudblood!" as Bart's assailants backed off.
Unfortunately, that was not the end of the verbal assault, as Draco smugly strode forward, placed his shoe on Bart's chest and pressed down, sending a shiver of pain through Bart's paralysed body.
Draco looked down at Bart, smiling sadistically at Bart's pain.
Serves Simpson right for being a Mudblood upstart. It's good to see that so many Slytherins agree with me - it made it so much easier to attack the little git. I will eat Merlin's beard before I let Slytherin be stained by Mudblood filth!
Draco then decided to talk Bart down, after which he talked himself up like he so often did.
"Whatever you were in your little dump in America, Simpson, at Hogwarts you are nothing more than a filthy Mudblood. You are not fit to be a Slytherin.
If you embarrass me the way that you did in Charms and Transfiguration today, Simpson, I will beat you up until you get the message that I am better than you in every way.
Don't think that Farley can help you, either – while she's in Slytherin she dances to my tune."
With that, Draco kicked Bart in the head, making his world go black.
Author's notes for Chapter Five:
Dr Demento is a reference to 'Sideshow Bob Roberts'.
Not much to say about this chapter, really. Slytherin is clearly heavily politicised, with different parties having vastly discordant agendas. I hope the juxtaposition of Slytherins being nice to Bart with others beating him up displays that.
Daphne/Tracey do not behave like regular 11-year olds - they behave like intelligent 11-year olds who have been raised in a political environment where cunning/ambition are prized.
It stands to reason that, if Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs have Herbology together, then Ravenclaws and Slytherins should have Herbology together. It would make no sense for Hufflepuffs and Slytherins to have no classes together, so I gave them both History of Magic. In canon, Harry paid so little attention in History of Magic that Ravenclaws could have attended the same class and he would not have noticed.