Chapter Eight
Indeed, as Gemma and Bart had previously agreed, the boy was lazing on one of the sofas in the Slytherin Common Room at 8pm the very next day, waiting for Gemma to arrive and escort him to the correct room so he could begin preparing for the duel.
Just like clockwork, Gemma arrived at exactly 8pm and whisked Bart away with her.
"So what classroom are we going to?" Bart asked.
"It's on the seventh floor. I discovered it in my third year, when I was looking for a place where I could both practice existing spells and learn new spells at the same time. Power is strength in Slytherin, after all. In fact, I found it by sheer, outrageous good fortune. You see, I was walking past this space three consecutive times while thinking, I need a place to learn new spells and practice existing ones, and, lo and behold, this door popped up.
When I opened it I discovered both a library that was full of books describing various charms, jinxes, hexes and curses, and also a wide open area with a soft matted floor, which I assumed was a duelling area. I was already one of the best duellists in my year, but after discovering that room I became one of the best in the school."
"Man, that sounds awesome!" Bart exclaimed.
"It is Bart. It might be a long walk, but I promise that it will be worth it", Gemma asserted, as Bart watched the various moving paintings with fascination. He did not remember seeing them at Ilvermorny and he was not sure why they had previously escaped his notice; maybe he was too preoccupied with adjusting to the hostility and intrigue within Slytherin. Now that he had adjusted somewhat by forming some alliances, he could observe his surroundings more.
"So what's happened since we last met up?" Gemma conversationally asked.
"Oh, nothing much", Bart quickly said, trying to prompt Gemma to change the subject.
Unfortunately for Bart, Gemma wasn't fooled by Bart's brush-off.
"Nothing much? Bart, please trust me with the truth."
"Well…Professor Quirrell was…caught out…by some of my questions. I asked him some questions about garlic and his turban that he didn't really like. Plus, in Potions, Professor Snape and our good friend Draco came down with a rather bad outbreak of boils. Draco also, um, somehow found out that I intended to challenge him to a duel and he accepted, in front of the other first years", Bart explained, hoping that it would pacify her. Unfortunately, he was mistaken.
"Interesting. Snape and Malfoy mysteriously coming down with a bad outbreak of boils wouldn't have anything to do with you, would it?" Gemma asked pointedly, her expression growing stonier by the second.
Oh crap, Bart thought, but before he could do anything more Gemma twisted his ear and propped him up against the wall.
"Ow! Ow! You're tearing my ear off!" Bart hollered hysterically.
Upon hearing his cries, Gemma non-verbally silenced Bart and started lecturing him in a harsh whisper. "Bart! You can't attack teachers like that! You'll get yourself expelled! How can you expect to be a great wizard if you get yourself expelled in your first week like you did at Ilvermorny?
You're lucky that Dumbledore even let you study at Hogwarts in the first place! Things are obviously different in the Muggle world, but usually if you get expelled in the wizarding world, you don't get to go to another school!
Let me tell you something; if you get expelled this time you won't get another chance to study magic. You'll be done legally practising magic and you'll have to live like a Muggle in a town whose inhabitants chase after you with exorcism tongs when they're not trying to burn you alive! Is that what you want?"
Bart lowered his head in shame at Gemma's words and shook his head. He didn't like how Gemma could make him feel genuinely ashamed of himself; only his mother could consistently do that to him before he met Gemma.
However, Bart felt shame because he knew that Gemma was right. He wanted to be a great wizard just because of all the attention and glory he would receive and if he got himself expelled, that wouldn't be possible. He also really didn't relish being stuck in a town where the inhabitants despised or feared him.
Gemma was satisfied by Bart's contrition but warned him, "Bart, if you attack a teacher like that again…I might have to resort to harsher measures to make the message sink in. Do you understand me?"
When Bart heard Gemma utter the euphemism 'harsher measures', he pictured her subjecting him to searing gas pain or turning him into some monstrosity. After a brief shudder, he nodded his head in understanding before trying to get on the front foot by asking her a question.
"Anyway, did you give detention to those guys who attacked me?"
"Well, I tracked down some of them, including our mutual friends Crabbe, Goyle and Malfoy, and subjected them to the most…painful…notification of a detention that they will ever receive. Hopefully they've recovered from the notification by now", Gemma said with relish, to which Bart chuckled evilly.
Gemma then released Bart and they reached the seventh floor. After Gemma did what was necessary, a door appeared and the pair entered a room which was split into two sections – a library and what was obviously a duelling area.
Bart was not exactly a voracious reader, but he nonetheless ran through the library and perused the shelves. Some books appeared to be standard Hogwarts-issue school books but there were others that contained what appeared to be very esoteric spells. Bart pulled out one which appeared to be hundreds of years old; it was titled Buddhist Combat Magic: A Guide to the Wartime Practices of the Magical Sōhei and Ikkō-ikki Communities by Charles Cornwell.
Bart was instantly reminded of Lisa's Buddhist beliefs and imagined that her pacifistic sister's reaction to seeing this book would not betray any amusement.
However, before Bart could start perusing the book, Gemma placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Sorry Bart, but we will just be learning standard spells for now. We can learn more advanced or specialised spells like these later", Gemma advised.
"Oh man, do we have to Gemma?" Bart whined.
"Yes we do. Standard charms, curses, hexes and jinxes are the fundamental spells which any good duellist has to learn before learning more advanced spells. Not simply because they're easier to learn, but also because more wizards know them, so you have to learn the counter-curse to them as well", Gemma explained.
"Fine", Bart groaned, before following Gemma to the duelling area. "Can I take these books with me afterwards?"
"No, they disappear out of your hands as soon as you leave the room."
"What, because 'magic'?" Bart sarcastically asked.
After Gemma sighed and uttered 'yes', they both walked into the centre of the duelling area before she set about teaching Bart the basic first-year defence spells: Mucus ad Nauseam, Petrificus Totalus, Flipendo, Vermillious, Verdimillious, Lumos and Fumos.
An average wizard would expect to learn such spells over the course of a year, but Bart was certainly not an average wizard. Indeed, he already knew how to banish people without a wand, so doing so with a wand was elementary to Bart, not to mention more effective. Ultimately, he had mastered the first four charms both verbally and non-verbally by the end of the hour-long session. It was then that Gemma inspected his wand.
"Wow. I've never seen a wand like this before, Bart. It appears to be three wands fused together. Can you explain?"
"Well, Professor Dumbledore fused three different wands together and then shortened them using his wand to 10 inches. I can't remember what the wand woods are called, but it has a phoenix feather core. My Ilvermorny wand had a Thunderbird feather core and that old dude…Ollie-something…told me they were related", Bart explained before asking, "So what about your wand?"
I really need to talk with him about his language, Gemma thought before showing Bart her wand. "It's an 11 inch, aspen wood wand with a dragon heartstring core. Ollivander thought that Aspen was the most suitable wand for me because he believed I was destined to become both an accomplished duellist and charms caster, and I think he was right about that. Actually, one of my ancestors, Gonville Farley, had an Aspen wand and was a member of an 18th-century duelling club that called itself The Silver Spears.
He also explained that witches who possess the Aspen wand owners are strong-minded, determined people who love quests. For example, I constantly set myself quests to not only learn new charms, curses, hexes, jinxes and abilities but also explore the castle", Gemma finished, not wishing to tell Bart about her determination to improve both her personal station and her family's, or her quest to mould Bart into a weapon she could use against her family's opponents.
As they walked back to the Slytherin Common Room, Gemma teased, "By the way Bart, a notice on the Slytherin Common Room says that flying lessons with the Gryffindors will be starting on Thursday. No doubt you're looking forward to getting on a broom again."
Bart shuddered at the idea as memories of him crashing into Headmaster Fontaine's caboose came to mind. "Can I just...sort of…skip that lesson?" Bart innocently asked.
"Not unless you want to land yourself in detention with Snape", Gemma sternly informed him, to which Bart slapped his head and uttered "D'oh!" as he wanted to avoid his menacing head of house as much as possible.
Time tends to speed up when something you dread is coming. Indeed, Bart found this was the case whenever he was preparing to sit an exam back at Springfield Elementary. Sure enough, Thursday came at warp speed. In that time, Bart had learnt quite a bit from Gemma's lessons about defence, but nothing from Quirrell's lessons, as merely seeing a non-antagonistic Bart reduced the turbaned teacher to a quivering wreck. He had mastered all first-year and second-year defence spells both verbally and non-verbally. He had also behaved himself well enough in the other classes to avert any confrontations with Daphne, Tracey, Gemma or any other students for the time being.
Unfortunately, he also had to endure Draco yammering on about how he had evaded Muggles in helicopters using his broomstick. Knowing that Gemma had already tracked down and punished all of Bart's attackers, Bart felt free to retort, "Cool story Dray-gun. Pictures, or it didn't happen." Draco's only response, to Bart's amusement, was to tell him that because he was a filthy Mudblood, Bart didn't deserve to see any pictures.
However, Draco wasn't the only one discussing Quidditch. Bart also overheard Daphne and Millicent discussing their experiences playing as a keeper and beater, respectively, while Gemma confided to Bart in one of their lessons that she was a useful chaser, but that the thuggish Marcus Flint believed that women did not fit his more physical vision of Quidditch.
Meanwhile, Gemma's screech owl had brought her some sweets which she shared with Bart, who constantly had Balthazar resting on and defecating down his shoulder. Much to Bart's irritation, he noticed that Draco also received sweets from an eagle owl that Balthazar eyed with scarcely concealed loathing. If Bart didn't need to maintain a semblance of house unity, he would have commanded Balthazar to attack Malfoy's owl. Instead, he observed a commotion at the Gryffindor table wherein Draco stole and then gave back a ball that Neville Longbottom received. While he was doing this, Gemma addressed him.
"Bart, why don't you get Balthazar to send a note to your family? They're probably worried about you."
Well, Mum and Lisa probably are; not sure about Homer, Bart thought before replying, "Yeah, sure, but I'm not much of a writer."
With that, he transfigured two knuts into an envelope and parchment respectively, and whipped out a Self-Inking Quill that Gemma gave him before writing the following:
Mum, Homer & Lisa
I arrived safely at Hogwarts over a week ago. I've been sorted into Slytherin. I've already made some new friends. I hope everything's going OK in Springfield.
Love,
Bart
After placing the note in an envelope, he gave it to Balthazar, who flew out of the Great Hall.
"How does he even know where to go? I know he can understand English, but I didn't know he could read English? And how does he even get to my home town from here? He'd take forever, wouldn't he?" questioned Bart.
"Balthazar doesn't leave Britain, Bart. What happens is that he goes to the Owl Post Office, leaves the letter there and has an International Courier deliver the mail to the American Owl Post Office using a Portkey, which is basically an object that can transport people from one area to another. The American Owl Post Office would then deliver the owl to your house", Gemma explained.
"What if the person receiving the mail tries to attack the owl? For example, my father might panic and blast the owl with his shotgun – which is kind of like a long, two-barrelled wand that shoots…projectiles…instead of spells", Bart clarified after seeing Gemma's befuddled expression.
Gemma looked quite disturbed by Bart's explanation – Could Bart have been chased around by someone holding one of those monstrous Muggle contraptions as well? thought Gemma worriedly, but sought to comfort him by replying, "Bart, owls have to deliver letters and packages to mentally disturbed and paranoid wizards quite often, so their handlers teach them how to dodge incoming spells. Magical owls are attuned enough to magic to find the recipient of a letter without an address, but they're also taught to read and understand basic English by their handlers."
Soon enough, Bart found himself in front of an ancient broomstick that was clearly far older than 'Mandy' was. He was unhappily listening to their teacher, Madam Hooch, exhorting them to stick their right hand over their brooms and yell "UP!" Bart, however, bristled at this command.
Screw you, Madam Cooch; I'm not going to risk getting myself expelled over a god damn broomstick again, he thought.
True to his word, he uttered "up" with about as much enthusiasm as he would have had visiting a children's cemetery, all the while banishing the broom down as far as he could. Maybe he could even get the broom to bury itself six feet under by the end of the lesson?
However, to further Bart's irritation, Madam Hooch insisted on showing them how to mount their brooms.
Lady, I already know how to mount my broom; I got expelled over it, thought Bart in annoyance, which was amplified when Hooch insisted that Bart was gripping the broom incorrectly. That said, Bart was consoled by the knowledge that Draco had been guilty of the same thing.
Gee Gay-bo, you're meant to be this awesome flyer but you can't even properly hold a broom?
Unfortunately, it just got worse from there when Madam Hooch began instructing them how to fly off the ground. Luckily Bart, ever the quick thinker, had devised a plan to avoid this.
Ok Bart, as soon as everyone starts flying off, vanish your broom then disappear. None of these saps will know a thing.
Before Bart could execute his plan, Neville thoroughly embarrassed himself by shooting many feet off the ground before slipping off his broom and landing face-first, after which Madam Hooch escorted him to the hospital wing.
Upon witnessing this scene, Bart winced at the thought of what might have happened had Neville taken charge in that Potions lesson. However, he was thrust from his thoughts by the sound of Draco and the other Slytherins laughing at Neville's misfortune, albeit some more half-heartedly than others.
"Come on Simpson, didn't you find that great fat lump falling on his face like a common Muggle tramp funny? Oh wait, you're a Mudblood, so of course you wouldn't find that funny!" Draco jibed, once again showing his contempt for both Bart and the unspoken rule of Slytherin – to demonstrate house unity in front of other houses.
Many of the Gryffindors and Slytherins gasped in shock upon hearing Draco direct the word 'mudblood' towards Bart yet again, with Harry fixing Draco with a cold stare.
Bart, for his part, merely craned his neck towards Draco and stared down the bigoted nuisance.
"Draco, Slytherins show unity in front of other houses", Bart tetchily reminded him, trying to heed Daphne and Gemma's advice to not do something that could land him in serious trouble.
"Yeah, but Mudbloods can never be real Slytherins, so I don't need to extend that courtesy to you", Draco retorted.
"You won't be saying that after our little duel", Bart coldly sniped back. At this, many of the Gryffindors whispered among themselves excitedly while Harry and Ron smirked.
Draco blanched at this before picking up Neville's ball, which was apparently called a Remembrall. Bart was about to humiliate his blond housemate over flouting the aforementioned unspoken role, namely by summoning the ball from his hand, before Harry stepped in. After a short exchange on the ground, they flew up into the air and exchanged more verbals.
Bart was watching them avidly, waiting for his chance to summon the Remembrall from Draco's hand. He was not disappointed, for Draco chose to throw the ball into the air. With imperceptible pace, Bart discreetly pointed his palm towards the ball and it flew straight into his hand. In a flash, he was out of sight as he headed towards the hospital wing.
Back up in the air, Draco and Harry were gaping in the direction of where the ball just was.
"W…where did the ball go?" Draco bemusedly asked. It was then that an epiphany fell on Draco like a ton of bricks as he hissed, "Simpson!"
"What?" Harry sharply asked as he turned towards his bête noire.
"Simpson! Simpson took that Remembrall!" Draco bawled.
"Bart took the Remembrall? How is that possible?" Harry asked, thoroughly nonplussed.
"You don't know what he can do! He can lift a feather without even lifting his arm! He can transfigure a chair into a bloody dog, for Merlin's sake!" Draco hysterically howled, as if having to acknowledge Bart's talents was sending him into a state of utterly irreversible derangement.
For his part, Harry's jaw dropped upon hearing these revelations. Wow. Bart really is gifted, he thought, thinking back to what Bart had told him at Madam Malkin's.
However, when Draco and Harry flew back down to the crowd, they discovered that Bart had vanished without a trace. However, he wasn't the only one…
Bart was walking down the hall, with his Disillusionment Charm allowing him to pass nearby students and teachers unmolested. All the other students had seemed too distracted by Draco and Harry's tête-à-tête to actually notice him vanishing and so he assumed that he had gotten away from the Quidditch grounds undetected.
Hmmm...should I give Neville the ball or should I keep it for myself? Bart mused.
Before he could decide, however, something collided into his side with breakneck force and rammed him up against a wall before uttering "Finite Incantatem!" Much to Bart's displeasure, he discovered in a trice that he was now very much visible to the bushy-haired figure in front of him, whose brown eyes were burning with fury.
"Thought you could just sneak away, did you, Bart?" Hermione hissed.
"How did you figure out that I was cloaking myself?" Bart asked in wonderment.
"I saw you do it in Potions, you idiot. Besides, the charm doesn't make you invisible; it just makes you take on the texture and colour of your surroundings. All I had to do was watch the air move and I could figure out where you were.
I was able to intercept you because I assumed that you were going to the hospital wing to give Neville his Remembrall. So now you can give it to me", Hermione smugly finished.
"Gee, thanks for answering a question I never asked in the first place", Bart retorted, referring to Hermione's explanation of how she had intercepted him.
Her eyes flashed as her temper, already rising as a result of Bart's misbehaviour, finally broke. She then rewarded Bart's snipe with a slap which cracked across the hall like a gunshot.
"You know, I've been meaning to have words with you, Bart. I saw how you behaved in Potions – you embarrassed Professor Snape and then caused that accident involving him and Draco Malfoy out of spite. Only Harry and you had a reason to do that, and I'm pretty sure I saw the porcupine quill come from your area, not Harry's.
You could have injured half the class! You could have gotten yourself expelled! Do you think about the consequences of your actions? Do you think about others? Do you even care about your own safety? Or do you just do whatever you feel like in the heat of the moment? Is that why you apparently have an upcoming duel with Malfoy?" Hermione ranted.
Great, more lecturing from the opposite sex about what a bad boy I've been. Well, it's time to fight fire with fire.
"Shut up, Lisa", came Bart's lengthy reply. Hermione's eyes widened in surprise before Bart felt yet another hard slap across his face.
"The name's Hermione and you'd do well to remember that, Bart!" Hermione spat.
"Why do you care what I do anyway, brainiac? You're a Gryffindor and I'm a Slytherin", Bart snarled, uttering the last sentence as if it was the most obvious observation made in human history. Frankly, this girl was reminding him appallingly of Lisa at her most insufferable and he never wanted to be around Lisa when she was behaving like that.
Hermione responded to Bart's words with exasperation, but had nonetheless calmed down somewhat. "Several reasons, actually. Firstly, as I've just mentioned, you're not only breaking rules and insulting teachers, but your behaviour is also endangering other students. Secondly, I don't like seeing people squander their talent through laziness, recklessness or stupidity.
Thirdly, I think you…are a nice person deep down, Bart. You are the only Slytherin I've met who has been nice to Neville, so that's why I knew that you were going to return his Remembrall to him. That's a nice thing of you to do Bart, so I would feel a little sad if you got yourself expelled."
That was the very last sentiment that Bart was expecting the typically self-righteous, judgemental Hermione to express. Indeed, the usually smooth-talking Bart was so struck by his surprise that he simply stared at her with wide eyes for a moment, before muttering, "Fine then, take Neville's stupid Remembrall", giving her the Remembrall before cloaking himself.
"Thank you, Bart", Hermione softly replied as he vanished.
Unfortunately, Bart's troubles did not end with Hermione confronting him. As he proceeded towards the Slytherin Common Room, a most unwelcome presence made himself known; Professor Snape, staring down at Bart with an obvious thirst to avenge the very painful humiliation that Bart subjected him to in front of his entire Potions class.
"Imagine seeing you down here, Simpson", Snape hissed venomously.
"Yes, it's a pleasure to see you too, Professor Snape. I hope that you've been well?" Bart enquired unctuously, hoping to placate the man. Unfortunately, the professor was not to be placated.
"Yes, I have been in most good cheer since our lesson last Friday, Simpson", he sneered sarcastically. "Such good cheer in fact, that I have been absolutely dying to relive the events of that lesson with you ever since. In particular, when Malfoy and I came down with a rather unfortunate outbreak of boils."
"Yes. Rather ghastly business, that", Bart noted, with a voice veritably drenched in oil.
"A most ghastly business indeed, Mr. Simpson. Now you are going to tell me what you know about it", Professor Snape demanded.
A shiver ran down Bart's spine upon hearing this demand. Right now, Professor Snape was most certainly reminding him of Sideshow Bob at his most murderous. Nonetheless, Bart affected his most nonchalant expression when he replied, without making eye contact, "Well, I saw Draco and you coming down with some painful looking boils when Draco's potion mysteriously spilled over. That's what I saw, so that's what I know."
Professor Snape's eyes exuded rage at Bart's evasive answer. In a flash, he grabbed Bart and forced him to stare into his cold, unyielding black eyes.
Bart momentarily panicked before remembering that he could emphasise the memory, or vision, that he wanted his head of house to see, much like he did when Gemma was examining his memories. To that end, he conjured up the vilest vision he could think of; Homer strip-teasing in front of the Simpsons' abode.
The menacing professor must have seen that memory too, for he instantaneously released Bart when they made eye contact. He then eyed him shrewdly, his earlier suspicions having been confirmed by Bart's vomit-inducing vision.
Hmmm…so he does know that I'm a Legilimens. That's why he's been avoiding eye contact with me every time we've been in close quarters.
No first-year Muggleborn should even know about Legilimency though, must less resist it in such a…novel manner. Who could have told him? It was probably Miss Farley.
Yes, it would have to be Miss Farley. Simpson has always sat with her during meals in the Great Hall, rather with the rest of the first-years. It is most unusual for a Prefect and a first-year to sit together, so she must be benefiting in some way. Yes, Miss Farley must be manipulating Simpson's talents for her own benefit. She's also one of the best witches in the school, so she would likely know about Legilimency and Occlumency. A most interesting development…I will have to keep Dumbledore abreast of this development, since he asked me to monitor Simpson.
After finishing his own internal monologue, he eyeballed Bart and uttered, "Detention for insubordination, Simpson. My office, 8pm tonight. You will be cleaning cauldrons without magic", before stalking away whence he came.
Bart breathed profusely before thinking, that could have been worse. That overgrown bat could have expelled me. Thank god Gemma showed me that technique. Ok Bart, you've been through a million detentions; this one can't be any worse.
Bart quickly realised that he was wrong. Although he was fascinated by how Professor Snape's office resembled a cross between a Batcave and a mad scientist's lab, what with the gloominess and dissected animals in jars, the task of brushing cauldrons that emitted any variety of foul odours under the hateful gaze of Professor Snape turned out to be far less pleasant than any detention that he had ever endured under Edna Krabappel or Principal Skinner.
It was so unpleasant, in fact, that when Bart left, he quickly headed to the duelling arena and unleased his pent-up frustration against his head of house by firing off the spells that Gemma had taught him. The different colours of the arcing spells created a truly delightful display that reminded Bart strongly of ground-borne fireworks.
Soon enough, Bart grew weary of that light show and so trooped down towards the dungeons, lit wand in hand. When he reached the third floor, however, he heard some running footsteps near what appeared to be the nearby Charms classroom.
What's going on? What's with the running? Bart thought to himself before suddenly recalling Professor Dumbledore's plea to stay away from the third-door corridor on the right-hand side, and Harry's laughter in response. Bart then realised that this was not only his opportunity to check out what was there, but that Harry might also be doing the exact same thing at this very moment.
Not thinking any further, he ran towards the footsteps and was confronted by four students pointing their wands at him: Harry, Ron, Hermione and a shaking Neville. Harry was the first to recognise the interloper.
"Bart?" Harry asked in surprise, to which the others gasped.
"Hey Harry; come to check out what's in that third-floor corridor on the right-hand side?"
Before Harry could answer him, a black-haired, black-eyed ghost in a clown outfit burst in from a nearby classroom.
This must be Peeves, Bart thought. Better think quickly…
"Hey Peeves, do you enjoy moving around the castle at midnight too?" Bart rhetorically asked.
"Welly welly welly! If it isn't impson blimpson gimpson Simpson, the sly slithery Slytherin! Has arty farty Barty come to party with Peeves?" Peeves jested.
"I'll party with you all night, Peeves", Bart responded with feigned earnest, "but first you will have to EAT MY SHORTS!" the boy bellowed as he cast a non-verbal Fumos charm in front of the poltergeist before yelling "Follow me!" to the other four, as they ran to the end of the corridor and through a door that Bart had just unlocked.
After hearing Filch futilely ask Peeves where the intruders had gone, Bart turned around and, with a thrill of terror, realised exactly where they were and why Professor Dumbledore had deemed this particular corridor forbidden. There was a dog staring hungrily at them that appeared to come straight out of Greek mythology, with its three heads and indeed, three of everything that you would expect to see on a regular dog, including three times the viciousness.
Bart, imitating Curly from The Three Stooges, grabbed onto Harry's robe and went "NANG NANG NANG!" in panic.
"What is –" Harry began to ask until he himself saw the beast. His eyes widened into saucers before they all rushed out of the room, not stopping until there was a floor between themselves and the canine monstrosity. When they had calmed down, Hermione rounded on Bart.
"Weren't you listening to anything I said earlier, Bart? Do you want to die? Or do you just enjoy thumbing your nose up at teachers?" Hermione angrily asked.
"Hey, I'm bad to the boooooone, baby", Bart smoothly remarked. Upon hearing that, Hermione made to slap him before being restrained by the other three boys.
"Oh, you are such a -" Hermione began before Harry interrupted her.
"Wait, there was a trap door underneath the dog. It was obviously guarding something – something very important and valuable", Harry noted as he drifted off into thought.
Bart's eyes widened at this, wondering what it was. Various images came to mind, including gold, a nuclear weapon or perhaps racy compromising material involving Professor Dumbledore.
"Do you know what it's guarding?"
Ron, still not entirely trusting Bart, made to stop Harry from answering him but the raven-haired boy waved him away as he concisely responded, "It's a package from Vault 713 at Gringotts."
By this time, Hermione had lost her patience. "I don't care WHAT it is! Harry, Ron, Neville, we're all going back to Gryffindor Tower! Bart, go back to the dungeons!"
Bitch, bitch, bitch, Bart thought. However, he didn't wish to antagonise Hermione any further so he nonetheless complied, beginning a long trek back to his dormitory. Upon entering it, he fell onto his bed and went out like a light, feeling thoroughly exhausted after a day of confrontations.
Author's notes for Chapter Eight:
Note that just because Bart did not remember seeing the moving paintings at Ilvermorny does not mean that they were not there.
Yes, the Sōhei and Ikkō-ikki did exist in Japan many centuries ago. No, I'm not trying to portray Buddhism as being a uniquely violent religion. I referenced Buddhism, instead of Zoroastrianism or something, because Lisa is a Buddhist.
Gonville Farley was named after Gonville Bromhead, from the legendary 1964 British film Zulu.
I gave Gemma an Aspen wand partially to distinguish her from canon characters, none of whom use this wand. Dragon heartstring cores also produce the most magical power and Gemma is a very powerful witch for her age.
The Silver Spears are cited in Pottermore.
The explanation of the International Wizarding World's post system and the ability of owls to read/dodge spells is fanon; it's not been clarified in canon to my knowledge.
After doing some reading on the subject, I've made some formatting changes at the request of a reviewer. Speech is no longer italicised (except where emphasis is needed), but inner thoughts still are, because apparently that's acceptable.