Chapter 0.3: The End of the Beginning

The party was just about half over. It was only because of numerous distractions I haven't eaten, because the whole spread looks delicious and I feel ready to solve my case of the munchies.

Clank slips in between the tables, his head bobbing just out of sight as he makes his way to the stage, and I head over to the buffet table, swiping the biggest plate available. I lift up the lid of the closest platter to me, and it's got some nice looking puffoid fillets under it. I grab several of those bad boys and slap them down on my plate.

Just a minute into my journey to a food coma, something tugs at my pant leg. "Grrawrk, rawrk!"

The Thugs' little sister is hovering around my ankles. One of her eyes is focused on me and the other darts randomly.

"Well, hi there. How can I help you?" I ask, spooning some chocolate pudding in a bowl.

Thing Tree turns in a circle, lolling her tongue out. She really was a cute little thing. Oh! Maybe she just wanted something to eat.

For a crazy moment, I am tempted to flip over the entire table for her. And maybe the serving staff can sense what I'm thinking since several of them are eyeing me like I've murdered their children.

"Watch out, Baxie."

Thing Wun joins me, holding three large, empty plates in hand. "Little Sister, she likes biting tails."

At the tail end of his sentence, Tree makes a sudden beeline for my backside. I pull my tail up in my free hand and her teeth snap over air as she misses it. Tree growls.

"Too slow," I tease her.

"Pardon, manners of her are not good," says Wun. "But we could find no babysitter for her. She scared them all away! Director and fiancée of Director—" he nods over at Lia, who's now squatting at the knees, likely speaking to Clank. "—they understand. Baby sister stays with us. She does not compete, but she hangs with us wherever we go! Brother has to keep her calm and quiet or else she go. He must have lost track of her…"

Thing Tree is getting riled up, cutting circles around me. Her eyes are going so wild I'm honestly impressed she hasn't wrecked herself into something.

"Ah, she like you," says Thing Wun. "Maybe she fan, too. But, she no bite you. Is Too's fault she does that, he plays too rough with her. You see kink in his tail?"

He points over to their table; Thing Too has his head buried in a bowl of mac and cheese, sloppily eating away. His tail is already thin enough to see the individual vertebrae in it, but I cringe when I see how the last foot of it is bent almost ninety degrees upwards.

"She did that?" I ask cautiously.

"Ah, she strong, yes? She like me," he says, then jumps, turning in place. "You see, I have no tail!"

"There's no way she—"

Wun laughs, turning back to face me again. "No, just joking! Is not from sister, or else Wun would have to make her boss! I was former beast hunter, yes? Killed leviathans and other big game. Retired after being gored and smashed one too many times!"

He tosses his plates into the dirty dish stack, where a waiter immediately spawns and whisks them away to be cleaned. "Former job gave good, long standing money, so I take care of siblings now while parents are on extended vacation! They never write…"

"Grrrr…"

We look down, and give a start; Thing Tree has a corner of the tablecloth locked in her jaws, tugging at it. All the contents on the table jerk closer to the edge.

Wun scoops her up, calling to his brother, "Too, if we are sued because of damages from sister, it will be your fault! Pardon us, Baxie."

As he carries her off, Tree looks over her brother's shoulder at me and growls. I think I'm on her hit list now.

I return to our table where Noinah is now alone, enjoying a drink. She clears her throat, coughing slightly.

"You okay?" I ask, sitting down.

"Eh? Oh, yeah. Smoker's cough. What's your deal, Sugar? You got beef with the Director or something?"

I give an offhanded shrug, starting on my food. Noinah chuckles, taking a sip from her glass. "Heh heh…hey, you won't get any judgment from me if you wanted to break his spine."

"I don't."

"Not what that look on your face said earlier, honey."

"He just…I just…got him mixed up with someone else," I say, hoping it was as truthful as I wanted it to be.

"Well, at least you ain't bullshitting," Noinah remarks. "You know, McMarxx stepped out. Had to make a call and check on his girl. But he told me enough about you and some of what you been through in the past. Now I kin see why you'd give the Director the stink eye. My question is, you still gonna participate? You and Clank?"

"Yeah," I mumble through a mouthful of mashed Grok gizzards.

"Oh, and how!"

"I'll give him a chance."

"Right you are," says Noinah, winking. "Don't mind the Director. You come off as being sharp, so you know there's not a lick of a threat in 'im."

She eyes me, likley ready to gauge my response. I don't have one and keep my eyes on my food, until I hear Lia's hooves. She's trotting over towards the side room where she'd come from, sparing a glance towards me before she disappears through the door.

Qwark must've overheard their conversation. I can't actually see him, but the huge quivering shape behind the stage curtains doesn't leave much to assumption.

I pretend to not think too much of it, scanning the room as I stuff my face with crepes. The Thugs are sitting at the table near us, cracking up at how Tree spins in a circle, trying to lick at a glob of chocolate pudding on the bridge of her nose.

Teddy is slouched in his seat, passed out. His partner is downing another drink. Numerous glasses are strewn around their table.

Ravenda seems to be the only person who hasn't moved an inch. He's still sitting quietly, hands folded neatly on the table and gazing out the window. Buz is still with him and is the only one looking towards the stage, clearly noticing that something was amiss. By now, Karen Menzoa had returned by his client's side and is glowering at Noinah.

Noinah grunts. She'd been staring into space with a slight frown in her eyes.

"Hey, Sugar...you wanna know what that nancy-boy came at me with? Called me a wheezing heart attack on two legs..."

"Who, Menzoa?"

"Yeah," she says, turning two of her eyes to glare at him and scoffing. "Still shooting me looks, too. When you were gone I accidently bumped into him at the drink table and he wigs out. Should'a heard him. Good thing Buz was there to keep me calm or else I would've given him what he dished out an' more. I swear, one of these days he's going to mouth off to the wrong person and he'll rightly regret it."

She drains her glass, then sits up with a heavy grunt. "Talks too much, and seventy percent of it's trash, thirty percent pointless yapping. I'd say he and Qwark are somehow related. Watch it, now," she cautions, when I almost choke on my pudding from laughter.

"Heh, hey now, you can give Qwark a little credit," I say.

"What, like ten percent of worthwhile talk?"

"Eh, I'd say five."

Noinah smirks. "If you say so." She turns her eyes slightly to Menzoa's left. "You know what else, though? I can't get a read on that Rover guy. He's sat there the whole time. Hasn't moved a bit. And look at Buz, still over there with him. That girl always did manage to talk to just about anyone at the drop of a hat. All I know is that he better not try nothing funny with her."

"Maybe he's alright with keeping to himself?"

"Yeah, maybe. Still, it sort of comes off like he's being stuck up. He's kept his nose up in the air like that the whole time," Noinah says. "He probably thinks he's hot shit because he's entering by himself."

"Qwark told us he had a partner," I say. "I've gotta wonder why he's here alone."

At that moment Clank arrives, discreetly sliding into the seat next to mine. We exchange a nod.

"What're ya'll up to, now?" asks Noinah, amused. "I heard ya'll are into hero work...surely that ain't what's going on here, is it?"

Damn, she was quick. "No, not at all," I say.

"I was just acknowledging if Ratchet remembered not to drink," says Clank. "It is hard to look after my partner sometime, Noinah."

"HA! You sound a lot like my Bea," Noinah says, rubbing Clank on the top of his head. "'cept she's not as monotone."

I open my mouth to remark that Clank was as monotone as he was fussy. Instead, a belch slips out, and it's a huge one. Noinah and Clank look at me in amazement. Well, I was a little bit too full with rich food at the moment.

Thing Wun bursts into laughter, clapping his hands. "BWA HA HA HA! Oy, was good one!"

"Just…wow, Ratchet," says Clank.

I take my hand from my mouth. I've got tears budding in my eyes as I struggle not to laugh at the soulless look on his face. "S-heh, sorry! It slipped out!"

Then someone else burps just as loudly. Both Thugs erupt in another wave of laughter as we look over at Noinah. "How was that?" she asks, grinning.

In a buzz of wings, her partner is over at our table. "Noinah! Remember the talk we had about etiquette?"

"If it was any like our own, then it barely went acknowledged," Clank says dryly.

FRRT!

All of us quickly look over at the Kerchu table; the grungy looking one is settling back in his seat, wearing a sneer. "Sorry, I couldn't hold it in any longer."

"Oh, my word!" cries one of the waiters, and he throws open a window before flinging himself out. Call us all stupid, maybe a little drunk, but it's yet something else our sides are splitting at.

Then—

"DISGUSTING!" Menzoa screams, fists in the air as he jumps to his feet. "All of you laughing should be ashamed!"

"Whatever, Rachel," says Noinah.

"It's Karen! And would it be reasonable to have manners at a dinner party? Why, it's a good thing no one is eating anymore, but honestly, think about how immature—"

"Ay, shut up, ya bootlicker!" the grungy Kerchu snaps in disgust. Clearly Menzoa wasn't used to being told to shut up, and he flinches back, staring at him in shock. His reaction causes another round of laughter. This time Qwark and a good chunk of the serving staff join in.

In all the excitement, Thing Tree gets too riled up. She squirms out of her brother's arms and thuds to the floor, waddling over to our table. She leaps up, landing on the spoon I'd left in my chocolate pudding, and launches a glob of it in the air.

Time crawls as it flies through the air…then it lands, with a loud, wet smack against the agent's face, splattering across his face and beard. Everyone falls silent, staring. Even Ravenda's eyes seem a bit widened.

Qwark wheezes, then begins roaring in laughter. The rest of the room is right behind him.

Tree seems proud of herself. She barks excitedly, jumping in place, kicking her back legs. Soon Too has joined us, wiping at his eyes. "O-Oh, s-sorry about your pudding, Ratchet," he says thickly, picking Tree off the table and putting her on his head before placing his top hat over her. "I'll...I can get you some more..."

"Uh…th-that's alright, I was done!" I cry, trying to regain my composure. It doesn't help that Clank has caved and had dissolved into a giggling mess by now.

Menzoa is slowly inflating, turning redder by the second. He jabs a finger at Too's hat.

"Can someone please tell me what that THING was doing in here?!" he demands. "Guidelines clearly state that there are two to a team at most! Furthermore, it is not even properly socialized to—"

That's when his beard slips off his face—it was fake.

The agent gasps. With a furious grunt he storms out the room, almost running into a Markazian coming in; the guy has to jump to the side, almost losing his hold on his camera and bags.

"Oh! Uh, hey, Mr. Menzoa—"

"Not now, Slickson!" Menzoa snarls. We're making such a loud ruckus that it draws Lia and Vox out. They peer out cautiously from the other room, looking a vague mix of confused and concerned. The photography is just as perplexed, setting his bag down. "Uh…I'm here for the photo shoot."

He's buffeted to the side as Skidd bursts into the room, his eyes wide. "Dudes, so like, I think my partner ran out on me? That's not gonna affect anything other than my psyche, is it?"

Skidd's not a happy camper during the photo shoot. We try to cheer him up in between moving for shots and through clenched smiles. No one wants to say it, but it's clear that she had bailed on him. At least Vox was going to pay for a taxi to take him home.

The photographer, who had introduced himself as Guy Slickson, adjusts his camera's aperture. "Let's see…"

He lowers his face to the lens, then raises his head to look over my shoulder. Too is doing a lot of fumbling with his sister, who'd been growling like a little scaly motor ever since the first pictures were taken.

"What's wrong with her, Too?" asks Lia, from her spot in the back next to Vox.

"I don't know…Tree, settle down! I don't think she likes the camera too much…"

Kodiak is present once more, now leaning against the doors to the banquet hall. "You have taken a lot of pictures, Slickson. The Director needs about seven to pick from, not several dozen."

"I know! Just a few more?" Guy asks eagerly. Tree wasn't the only one getting antsy. Ravenda, who's standing on Clank's other side, lets out the slightest of sighs.

Teddy is fidgeting next to him. "I gotta piss," the Kerchu complains.

"Yeah, can we wrap this up soon?" Noinah asks tiredly.

Wun grins at her. "Ah, old woman sleepy now?"

"WHAT?"

Good thing they're separated, but it's poor Skidd between them. He just couldn't catch a break tonight.

"We've got a hot group here, Director!" Guy exclaims. "Come on, you know it! I'm just trying to make sure you've got enough takes so you can choose the one that's just right. We gotta correctly immortalize the very first group of the very first Big DEE events, don't we? Huh, huh?"

"Oh…alright, then, Guy," says Vox, and a low groan runs through the group. Everyone's either too tired or too drunk to argue with them. Twenty minutes later the photographer is done, and we're still blinking lights out of our eyes from the constant flash of his camera.

Vox takes to the stage once more with his staff. He wears an expression that can pass as being pleasant, but his brow is tense and there's the slightest crease in his eyes, which look a little red.

"Alright folks, looks like it's just about time for you all," says the Director. "Now, you may be wondering about the next step—as I'm sure Lia said earlier, each of your teams will receive what we call an event package containing everything a competitor will need during their time in the dome. ID cards, hotel passes, things of the like."

"And as for checking in, it will be done the day before the events start," says Lia. "On that very same day, once everyone is settled into their rooms, we'll have all competitors, even those from other blocks, gather round so we can explain some last minute rules and guidelines. There will be a tour of the facilities, and you will also meet the others on the event staff."

"Right, yes. Something to look forward too, I would say. Ah, let's see now..." Vox pauses as Lia leans in to whisper something to him, then he snaps his finger. "Oh, right, thank you! Yes, medical records, any disabilities as well as all vehicular information is to be submitted before the events. Safety and liability purposes, you see."

"Hey, can we invite guests or anything?" asks Skidd.

"Yes! There will be two guest passes in each team's event package, and you'll find all the necessary details in there," says Lia. "Are there maybe any other questions?"

When no one responds, Vox nods; his composure is whittling away a bit, and now he's toying with his hands, concern on his face as he looks around the room.

"Then, that's enough out of us, everyone. Have…please have a safe trip home."

"Okay, thanks. Tonight was pretty alright with me," says Noinah, standing up to stretch.

"See you guys soon, then!" Too exclaims.

"Yes, see you soon, Too," Vox says with a weary smile. Chairs scrape on the floor, and dishes and cutlery clink noisily as the room stirs. Kodiak raps his knuckles on the doors. The two guards that had been manning their post outside enter. They approach the serving staff, stopping them before they can clean up.

Soon, all the waiters and waitresses are trailing out behind a group of tired guests, muttering and looking confused. One waitress refuses to leave, trying to pick up all the bottles around the Kerchu's table before she's calmly picked up and carried away by one of the guards.

"I need to clean! LET ME CLEEEAN!" she screams, bottles dropping out of her arms.

I feel a hand slip around my shoulder, and know it's Qwark. "Ratchet, um…you both have to stay here," he says.

"We figured," I say quietly, glancing at Noinah. She's gotten done stretching and is pulling out a pack of cigarettes from the pocket of her dress shirt. She pauses, studying the three of us closely.

"Hold on, now...what's going on, here?" Noinah asks suspiciously.

"We're just going to be talking about…uh, guy stuff for a while," says Qwark. "Maybe do a little hugging afterwards."

"Uh, we are absolutely not..." I begin, only for Clank to nudge me sharply.

"Urgh...hell, then let's get outta here. Even if I wasn't tired I'd rather not see that. See ya. And ya'll." Noinah looks between Clank and I seriously. "Now, when we see each other again you'd best be on your a-game."

I'm pretty simple. When someone challenges me like that I respond in turn, never minding the conflicting circumstances.

"Pfft. You too, old timer," I scoff. She leers at me, cuffing my shoulder a bit, then grins over at Buz.

She and Clank are completely still, gazing at each other intently. Their antennas are silently pulsing in sync with the other's. Well, well, well. That was the robot way of giving out a phone number.

"See you!" Buz says when they're finished, and they wave each other goodbye. Clank turns back around and sees my smug expression. "…what?" he asks.

"Oh, nothing."

After Noinah and Buz, the photographer is the last to leave, holding an entire bottle of wine in hand.

"He's not a guest, did he really just take...?" Lia mutters, staring after him.

"It's fine," says Vox.

"Make sure no one comes in," Kodiak tells the two guards outside before shutting the doors. He comes to join us, a frown formed in the crevasses of his face. "We're clear."

"Okay, then," says Lia, a sigh leaving her bosom as she looks at us. "Let's get to it, then...you're saying your ship couldn't detect where this message came from?"

"Not at all," I say. "It's never happened before. If only she could, that'd give us some sort of place to start."

"Yeah, and not to be the Debbie downer, but it's not exactly the first sort of threat we've gotten," says Qwark. "I mean, phshh. You guys should've seen what it was like when we first went public! Hey, I'd say we've gotten hate mail every day since! It's almost become an expectation!"

Kodiak sends him a warning glance, and I cringe, trying not to look in Vox's direction. "Qwark...being a little insensitive, there," I mutter to him.

"This is different, though," says Lia. "I mean...Ratchet and Clank got it, so..."

She paws the ground uneasily. What follows is probably the most awkward of pauses yet.

"I have a hypothesis," Clank speaks up, thankfully thinning the silence. "Whoever sent that message worded it quite particularly. There was enough of a personal undertone to it, Mr. Director. That is why I cannot shake the feeling that perhaps, someone you hired sent it."

So, that was what he'd realized when we were in Aphelion. I take a look at Vox and wish I hadn't. He looks devastated and his face sags in disbelief.

"Someone working for me?" Vox asks. "But h-how could…why…not one of them could I ever imagine doing something like this. Not one! I've not even gotten so much as a complaint or misgivings from anyone, isn't that right Don?"

"I couldn't pin anyone as a suspect," says Kodiak.

Clank shakes his head. "It is not impossible," he says gently. I automatically believe him and think he's onto something, since his hunches weren't without reason.

That, combined with Vox looking as though he couldn't accept the possibility, does create glaring vulnerability for himself and others around him.

I could only hope Clank wasn't right...for once in a blue moon.

"Uh…I have a question," says Qwark. "What if this isn't a death threat against Guzman, and this person is just trying to make him nervous?"

"To do what?" I ask.

"To…cancel the games…?"

Kodiak starts, then scowls at Qwark. "What?"

"I mean…come on, here. Whoever this is has the power of being this all-mysterious wordsmith, right? I mean, look at how uncertain and hung up we are now! Look, Clank gave us the message word for word, right? It's clear as day! Vox isn't the real target, his empire of wealth is!"

"I'm no emperor..." Vox mutters.

"Whoever this is wants to throw us off!" Qwark exclaims. His eyes are getting wider by the second. "Yes, it could be some random person throwing out enough doubt and uncertainty, I mean I couldn't think of anyone else on the event staff who'd want to do this. But I, I mean you never know about people, they can be so two-faced! I would know, alright?!"

He sounds like he's about to break down. "Qwark—" I begin.

"We don't know where they could strike, who they are, and the worst part is not knowing. THEY know that! They want to manipulate the events, no, everyone, using a fear factor!"

"Qwark, just—"

"No offense to you Guzman, but it's not like everyone in the universe wants you to follow your dreams or whatever!"

Qwark gives a huge gasp, pulling at his eyes. "That's their master plan! Someone's going to weasel in and undermine all your work, Guzman! They're going to slip through the cracks somehow, if they haven't already, and chip away until there's only a pile of rubble left! Oh God, why can't people just act right—"

I leap up and smack him across the face with one of my gloves.

Qwark blinks several times, and each is like a soft reset for his brain. "Why...thank you, Ratchet," he says, much calmer. "I'm…clearly not right in the mind for this conversation. I'll get some more fresh air and come back later."

He leaves without another word. Clank strokes his chin, concerned. "He sure has been a bit unstable lately..."

"Really, ever since he learned Karen Menzoa had taken the role as spokesman for the events, he's spiraled a bit out of control," says Lia, massaging the spot between her horns. Then she blinks, staring around blankly. "Where is Karen? Didn't you tell him to stay, Don?"

"Yes, but," Kodiak shakes his head with a roll of his eyes. "It's no loss. He'd react even worse than Copernicus had."

"Qwark is fair in his reasoning," Clank says.

"But that can't happen," Kodiak says. "We can't cancel such events just on that hunch. Too much has gone into this, Guzman, you know this…surely you're not thinking of it."

"N…No, of course not. I'm sure we'll be able to figure something out," says Vox. "We have the…the resources. Whether if it is as Copernicus says...we'll have to be cautious either way. I would hate…for something bad to happen."

"Well then, let's start by not speaking things like that into the air," says Lia. "Donny, can you let Wade know what's happened so he can begin doing a security overhaul at the dome?"

Kodiak winces slightly at her nickname for him, but answers nonetheless. "It's already been done. Knowing him he'll have everything spot checked a hundred times over before the events start. That's before I post extra guards there. There won't be anyone slipping by us, and there'll be nothing we have to worry about. You know me, Guzman. I've also got assets in and out of my company that I can put to use."

He smiles. It looks plastic, unnatural on his rugged face. The Director says nothing, staring down at the polished tiles.

Slowly, he turns to look at us. "Just…just, thank you, Ratchet and Clank, for telling us when you did. Now we have to…make sure nothing happens. I still don't understand who would want to do something like this…"

"Of course, Guzman," says Clank.

Lia looks at him with a smile. "I appreciate not causing a stir as well. I couldn't imagine what it'd be like if the others heard about this today. But…I have to wonder…" she looks at Vox fleetingly. "They should find out. Eventually."

Yet another uncomfortable silence. I don't miss Kodiak's careful glance at her, and neither does she.

"I don't believe this will cause as much of a panic as you think, Don," Lia says. "If it does, then that's that. They need to know that this could be a possible danger. It's only right."

"So for now, we're definitely going to assume that this person will make actions on their words?" asks Kodiak.

I look at him in bewilderment. "Why shouldn't we?"

"None of the threats we've received before now have had any action backing them up. False alarms can be dangerous as well, because they can incite panic. You still think it would be reasonable to warn them about some vague threat to the integrity of the events?"

"Yes," Clank and I say, with Lia echoing us. The Director hesitates.

"Manny," Lia looks at Guzman earnestly. "You won't scare your competitors away. If that's what you're worried about…then if it happens, there's nothing we can do. If worst came to worst, we could always stop or even postpone the events. But…you know it's only right that they know. We'll take all the safety measures, put them in place before they arrive at the dome, and it'll be all good and fair."

Clank's antennae pulses three times. He beckons me down to whisper in my ear.

"Yes…" says the Director, nodding and looking nervously. "Then we can...let them know the day before the events start, after everyone's checked in, and all the blocks are together, yes. Right, right…I agree. I…understand, I don't like making people uncomfortable. Do you think…"

"Don!" Kodiak's walkie talkie erupts suddenly. Don!"

The woman on the other end sounds frantic. I recognize her voice. It's the same guard who'd seen us in.

Kodiak pulls off the device, sharply asking, "What's the matter, Macy?"

"Kodiak…I don't know what's going on!" Macy exclaims, her voice in a panicked whisper. "We need you out here, Morticia—"

"Has she left her post again!?"

"No! She's holding a hostage!"

For a second, the room becomes a snapshot of tension and shock. Lia clutches her chest. "W-What?"

"Who is it, Macy?" Kodiak demands.

"She has the event supervisor at gunpoint, and she…oh, she shot Marlon, Kodiak, I think he's dead! A-All the other guests are…uh...!"

Macy gives a terrified squeal, which is almost drowned out by the roaring noise growing louder on her end. It peaks in volume until the line abruptly goes silent.

Kodiak goes pale. "Guzman, Ophelia, go into that extra room and don't move until I get back! Make sure you hide. And you two—"

He turns back to face us, only to find out we're long gone.

I slip out onto the minute patio, shutting the window behind me. I shrug off my jacket and fling it over my head, where it's taken up in the air by the gusting wind. I'm wearing a harness over my dress shirt. I always try to be prepared.

"Oh my, I should have known," Clank says smartly, but he mounts me all the same. Through the window I can see Kodiak darting over, but it's too late. I drop into a squat, narrowing my eyes upward.

"Up and away, Clank!"

I reach for the sky as I leap, propelled even further by his blades, and catch ahold of the edge of the roof. I pull myself up just as the window below us opens. Kodiak's so big he can only stick his head out, craning it to yell up at us.

"Get back here, the both of you! This isn't your responsibility, you'll only compromise the situation!"

"Sorry, but this is Qwark we're talking about," I say, turning partially to grin at him. "We'll manage as always. You can stay with the Director and Lia if you want."

My jacket drops down, landing right across his face and muffling his response. I slap my knee, cracking up as I turn to go.

We can still hear him yelling after us, but it's lost to the wind and the sound of the vents along the roof. The roof is a generally flat surface, save for the large, arching structures at the north, south, east and west corners. In the center of the roof is a skylight, which marks the position of the main foyer. Seeing this, I realize that the High Squeezer was shaped like a four pointed crown.

"Huh...you said that transmission came from up here?" I ask, looking around for any signs of movement. I had to go by sight for the moment. It's impossible to hear anything over all the vents.

"Yes," answers Clank. "Buz sent it—it was actually more of a distress beacon, and it originated more from the south side. She may have more details on what is happening."

"The south entrance? We didn't come in through that way, so how'd everyone get over there?" I say, picking up a bit of speed and double checking I had my blaster in the holster.

Thirty feet later, as I'm moving around a vent, something zooms into me from the other side and bounces off my chest. I quickly lurch forward and catch Buz in one hand before she hits the roof.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you coming over all these vents," I say.

"It's alright!" says Buz hurriedly, zipping into the air. "Come on...Qwark's in trouble!"

"We heard," I say, following after her. "What exactly happened?"

"When everyone had left the hall, a guard met us in the foyer and told us she'd lead all of us to the south lot," Buz says. "She claimed that they'd gotten rid of that crowd out there and had towed everyone's ships over there for convivence or whatever."

"But they hadn't."

"Yeah, and none of us really thought much about it until we got there and saw that it was a lie. By then, she'd positioned herself behind us all and had blocked the door. That's...when she drew her weapon. It looked like some sort of rocket propelled grenade with slight visibility enhancements and a energy-burst modification."

She winces. "Uh...as we saw when she blasted apart the other guard at the door. And...the other other guard on parking lot duty that'd come over to investigate..."

"Ah, damn it...and then Qwark?"

"He walked out on her," Buz says plainly. "But...before then, she was getting all furious because he hadn't come out with us initially."

"Oh, you're kidding."

"It sounds like he might've been the main target, all other things considered. When I left, she hadn't shot anyone else, but she still had everyone pinned. She was yelling at people to throw out their valuables to her..."

Ah, great. Maybe I shouldn't have slapped him. Then again, what bad luck that he had to go out of that entrance. Not that I was blaming Qwark at all. Not sure why another hit had been ordered on him, but it wouldn't be the first of which we'd stopped.

Now I begin to pick up voices. Shouting. We slow our pace slightly, approaching the last several dozen yards.

"Buz, I am assuming she did not see you slip off?" asks Clank.

"Nope...I'd probably be a pile of scrap by now, you know," she says with a laugh. "I must've been too small for her to notice in the dark."

I can see why. Most of her body was comprised of a black metal, with the only distinction being the dark purple stripes running along her backside and antennae. I can hardly see her now in the near darkness; what gives her away is the distinct sound of her wings, which are surprisingly loud.

I screech to a halt, holding out my arm. "Buz, can you land for a moment?" I ask. She alights on it, clutching tightly with her little metal fingers. "Just in case...I don't want her to hear..."

The edge of the roof comes closer. I listen closely, tensing when I hear the guard, whom Kodiak had called Morticia, directing orders.

"Didn't I tell you not to move?! Stay where you are and slide it across the ground, idiot!"

"Hey!" I hear Thing Too cry. "Don't call him that, it was a mistake!"

"Shut up! And shut that stupid thing in your arms up, too!"

"She's just at the bottom of the steps. Careful," Buz says quietly. I take cover behind the entrance sign, peering down.

I see everyone from the party—Thing Wun is massaging his jaw. Too is close next to him, with his trembling sister in his arms. Thankfully she's fallen silent. Another glance shows me that Skidd is hiding behind them both.

Not too far from them Teddy is quaking, his wobbling knees turned in. Next to him his partner appears moreso annoyed, arms crossed and tapping his foot. He was tanked, so I hope he didn't do anything stupid that'd get anyone else hurt.

I notice Ravenda, or rather his white tuxedo and the glow of his eyes standing out in the dark. It's hard for me to read his body language, but he remains unnaturally still, like he's trying to blend in with the darkness.

Then my eyes land on Qwark. He's being held down by his tie, forced onto his knees by the security guard, who sure does have a sizable weapon in hand. There's an assortment of items in front of her; rings, bolts, raritanium...did I see a gold tooth in there?

Ravenda utters something indiscernible. His voice is unexpectedly deep.

"You...be quiet," Morticia tells him, suddenly calm. "Mind your own bussiness. No one's bartering for his life—you, over there! Kerchu, don't move another inch! What's your partner got? Tell him to hand it over!"

Teddy shakes his partner's shoulder frantically, and the latter spits in disgust, removing his watch and sliding it along the ground to join the rest of the hoard. It's then I spot a small red glow near them, coming from the end of a cigarette. One of Noinah's eyes is already on me by the time I make her out in the darkness, but it quickly flicks back to the guard. She's standing in a relaxed position, but her hand is positioned oddly at her side...

I set Buz down, placing my hands on the edge of the roof. "Buz, what's Noinah got on her?" I whisper.

"She wouldn't let me see it. But I'm sure it's a weapon."

Then this didn't have to end badly for anyone else—anyone else than the guard, that was. I'd say the law would back me up in taking her out.

"Okay...wait here..."

I slip over the edge, hovering down to the overhang of the front entrance. As I tread quietly towards the edge, Qwark speaks.

"Um…c-c-could I say something? Maybe...make an offer?"

"I'd not bother...I don't take last requests, nor am I backing out of this," Morticia says, yanking his tie for emphasis as she scans the lot. "Don't take it personally. If you want someone to blame before you croak, let it be my skinhead boss. He's the one who doesn't compensate people for the trouble he puts them through."

"Kodiak?"

"Don't. Say. That. Name," she hisses, yanking his head close to hers until they were face to face. She was so close to him I was cautious about getting a shot off, but this had to be it while she was still unaware of our presence. I hold my breath, kneeling, then draw my weapon and take aim at her profile...wait.

Wait.

WAIT.

I didn't have a blaster in my hand. I was holding a banana.

"…Ratchet," says Clank. "...where is your weapon?"

My head feels like a sauna. "I...I...uh...must've...switched it with...the banana when...before we left."

Now I did vaguely remember being in a rush and putting the banana in my pocket. Dazed, I pat myself down. I literally had swapped them both. Somewhere in the middle of us trying to find the directions and leaving on time, I must've made the screw up. Fantastic time to realize.

"Move!" Buz shouts.

I look down and meet the startled eyes of Morticia. How had she—

I bolt to the side right as she fires.

It's a hasty shot and the missile misses us by a wide margin. Buz had told us her weapon had an energy burst modification. In other words, heat based energy shrapnel that was produced upon missile detonation. Clank wasn't going to take the rap for my blunder.

As I leap off the overhang I pivot to face the explosion, covering my face with my arms. The blast hurtles us back through the air, simultaneously producing a firework of bright green energy particles that pepper my front with intense, burning spikes of pain.

Small wisps of smoke trail from my body as I fall, striking the staircase on my side. I tumble off the edge and into a blind spot in the bushes. Still conscious. Organs still intact. I'm good to go.

I will myself to get up, breathless and ready to force my legs into another dodge...

CRACK!

Quickly, I heave myself forward to look around the stairs. I lean against them, relieved.

Qwark is still cowering with his hands over his eyes. He peeks between them to see Morticia lying prostrate on the ground next to him with a pool of darkness forming underneath her. He yelps, jumping away from the body with a look of horror. "Ah! Wh-Where'd her head go?!"

Across the lot, Noinah lowers her still smoking weapon. "Be glad it ain't yours that's missing...hey, Sugar," she regards me, pulling her cigarette from her mouth and breathing out a haze of white. "Your call, now."

I stagger over to Qwark, panting. "Hey...are you okay?"

"Yeah, but...all I wanted to do was take a walk," he whines.

A quick assessment shows that everyone else is relaxing, though most are still too shocked to move. I catch movement at the back of the group, but it's only Menzoa, who'd been cowering behind a downed and wrecked hovercar. I can make out another still mass lying next to it. Macy.

I look around at the south entrance. The body of another guard is lying slumped against the doors, which is a portrait of blood spatter. Marlon.

I hunch slightly, taking a moment to catch my breath. Clank practically teleports in front of me. "How are you feeling, Ratchet?"

In other words, was I about to pass out or die? Well, the former was looking pretty attractive right now. I wasn't bleeding and that was something to be thankful about. Most of my front is sensitive to the touch, and my clothes are ruined by the dozens of small cuts and tears in them. Several spots on my face ache where I hadn't quite covered them.

It was a good thing that she hadn't been any more on target, or else I could've been bleeding out right now. We had caught her off guard, but how had she suddenly known we were up there?

"I'll be alright," I reassure Clank. "Guess...this is what I get for not eating when I was supposed to, huh?"

"Oh, stop...thank you for covering for us, Noinah," says Clank, as she joins us.

She doesn't respond at first, eyeing the corpse she had created. "The hell was all that about?"

"Pointless...money grabbing," I pant. "I remember her from earlier today. She was...complaining about not being paid enough..."

Noinah scoffs. "So the bitch snaps and does all this, huh? Oh, well. It's her that's lost her head and not us...still, what a bother..."

She turns, looking around at everyone. "Alright, now, ya'll. Come and get your stuff. Thing Wun...can you put that gold tooth of yours back in your mouth?"

Of course, Kodiak never lets us hear the end of it.

The police arrive soon. As they swarm the entire lot and begin securing the crime scene, Kodiak dresses us down in the foyer, furious that we'd ignored him. I hardly pay attention, completely out of it by that point.

The rest of the night passes by in a blur of voices and colors. The police process the scene, escorting people home after getting their eyewitness accounts. Qwark refuses to go anywhere away from Clank and I at first, sucking nervously on the banana I gave him. We have to really convince him he'd be alright before he lets himself be led away.

Between Kodiak pissing at us and being questioned relentlessly by the police, Clank and I are the last to leave. We catch one last glimpse of Vox tonight. He's with Ophelia, speaking with the chief officer. His body language is languid.

It's been a long night. I don't even register where Aphelion is at first, walking right into her hull and stumbling back.

"Let me fly," Clank volunteers.

"Thanks…no complaints from me," I say, sinking into the passenger seat with a yawn. Now, I was grateful we could just go home intact. The same couldn't be said for the two poor guards caught in the crossfire from their manic co-worker.

And right now, I can only hope that tonight wasn't a precursor of things to come—that's all I can do, is hope.

It's almost midnight when we finally get home. We land on the helipad of our rooftop apartment and I launch myself out of Aphelion with the last of the energy I had, ready to take a good rest after today.

I turn the lights on in the living room, stopping short several paces in. The fur along my spine is rising.

"What is it?" asks Clank, walking in behind me. I stick out a hand, wordlessly telling him to stay back for a moment. I stalk across the living room, listening closely. I pass the dark kitchen, about to turn the lights on in the hall when something grabs me around the waist.

Startled, I flounder as I get yanked into the air. "AH!"

Clank laughs. That should have let me know I wasn't in grave danger, but I was still on edge. Then when Talwyn joins him, I know everything was more than alright.

"Oh geez, Tal, you got me," I say. "You came earlier than we thought."

"Yeah, just a day earlier. I decided to see you back from your party. But..." she sets me down, taking a look at me and clicking her tongue. "what on earth did you do over there?"

I chuckle nervously, knowing she wouldn't like the reason. "Uh...well, it wasn't my fault. You see, I...kinda got hit with a bunch of shrapnel..."

"Shrapnel? From wh—"

Then her expression falls spectacularly flat as her mind jumps to the worst conclusion. She leans her head back, eyes filling with weariness.

"Yeah…I know you're sick of hearing attempts being made on our lives," I say, putting my arms behind my head. "It's been quite the day, Tal..."

She sighs, taking my ripped tie and pulling me after her. We were going to have a long talk in the shower tonight.