Chapter Fourteen

That evening, Bart and Gemma ate dinner together in the Great Hall. Looking around, Bart noticed a few things. Firstly, the giant hourglass that recorded Slytherin's house points had quite a few emeralds removed. Secondly, he saw the Weasley twins snicker and give him a thumbs up. For losing Slytherin points or for pranking their pretentious elder brother, Bart had no idea. Thirdly, throughout the meal the eldest Weasley gave him a stare that looked far more murderous than officious. Bart gave him a smartass wave in response, which merely intensified his stare. If looks could kill, Bart would have died minutes ago.

Guess he won't be joining any nudist colonies anytime soon, Bart thought with a smirk.

Bart then turned his gaze to the teaching staff. Headmaster Dumbledore resembled his usual serene self, but Professors McGonagall and Snape were casting stony glares in his direction.

OK, no surprise that Captain Hook would be pissed at me. And he can't even punish me with one of his detentions this time! Bart thought with undiluted glee.

However, what really surprised him was the shrewd, calculating stare Professor Quirrell gave him, as if he had just discovered something unexpected about Bart.

Yeah, there's definitely more to him than meets the eye.

Turning his head back to the Gryffindor table, he saw Ron throwing forlorn glances towards Harry and Hermione. For her part, Hermione gave Bart a piercing look before whispering into Harry's ear. As she did so, he started chuckling and shaking his head.

They know.

Unfortunately for Bart, they weren't the only ones.

"You know Bart, I noticed earlier today that Slytherin's hourglass was emptier than before."

"And?"

"Well, a few days ago Weasley came into the Prefect's Bathroom in a right state. Do you know what state he was in?"

Bart yet again feigned innocence, this time by shrugging.

"He was as naked as he was on the day he was born."

"OK…I mean, I assume you're straight, but what does this have to do with me?"

"Well, a certain boy told me on the train that he once made his teacher's clothes disappear."

Oh crap.

"So…you think that I made Weasley's clothes disappear?"

Gemma gave Bart a smug smile.

"I don't think it Bart, I know it."

Bart paused for a moment, as a feeling of profound dread overtook him. For her part, Gemma seemed to be savouring his shock. Finally, he plucked up the courage to speak, or rather, squeak.

"You…you're not going to punish me again, are you?"

Gemma chuckled softly. "No, not this time. Weasley's not a teacher. Plus, he's an absolute prat. I actually started laughing when I realised what you had done to him. But next time – try not to lose Slytherin any points."

Bart smiled broadly as relief flooded through his system. "I promise."

"Good boy."

When the evening grew older, Bart found himself at Filch's side.

Oh man, he's like Quasimodo, Bart thought, taking in the man's hunched back.

However, even without said hunch-back, Filch was no male model. His face was horribly pasty and pouchy. Additionally, even in the night Bart could make out his bulging eyes and the veins on his sunken cheeks. He also had thinning grey hair, quivery jawls and knobbly hands.

"Follow me, Simpson – and don't run off", he commanded, as his skinny ankles shuffled off towards the Forbidden Forest. Bart reluctantly complied. As they were walking, the cretinous caretaker regaled Bart with tales about how Hogwarts' caretakers used to hang students from the ceiling by the wrists for a few days. However, he didn't stop there.

"They also used to use thumbscrews, you know – nothing like the threat of not being able to write properly for a few days to bring belligerent brats like you in line. They also had this device called an 'iron maiden' – being forced to stand straight for hours on end really did set students straight!"

He rambled on and on about such punishments, until finally Bart thought, Man, I've heard just about enough of this. He sounds like an evil Grampa! Hell, he makes Groundskeeper Willie look well-adjusted!

"You're a sadistic freak, you know that?" Bart angrily asked.

"If I'm sadistic, that just serves brats like you right for misbehaving. Now if you call me that again Simpson, I'll double your detention."

O have mercy on me, o great one, Bart mockingly thought. Ahead, Bart could see the lighted windows of what must have been Hagrid's hut.

This is Hagrid's place? Ay carumba. It makes my place look like a goddamn castle.

"Filch, are you there? Took you long enough", the bearded man called out. You old git.

"Of course I am!" Filch replied as Hagrid, who was sporting a crossbow and arrows on his shoulder, came into view, with a large boarhound trailing him. You big oaf. "The Simpson brat is also here!"

A crossbow? Cooooooool, Bart thought.

Hagrid regarded Bart with a smile when he saw him. "How're you doing, Bart? I hope Filch hasn't been too rough on you?"

"No, sir", Bart responded as Filch's anger at Hagrid's remark made itself known.

"Rough on him? Rough on him? Hagrid, students need discipline, and Simpson more than anyone!"

"Not your type of discipline, they don't. Now go", Hagrid commanded, an order punctuated by his dog's bark.

Filch glared at Hagrid, after which he sourly noted, "I'll be back for the brat at dawn." He then shuffled away, muttering threats under his breath.

"Sorry, can you speak up there Filch? I couldn't hear you", Hagrid said in his perplexing accent.

Filch turned to glare at him, before walking back to the castle in silence.

"Git", Hagrid spat.

"I get the feeling that you don't like him very much", Bart noted.

"I don't. Stinking Squib. I don't know why Professor Dumbledore ever made him caretaker. By the way Bart, this is Fang", Hagrid replied, as Fang came up for a pat, which Bart gladly provided.

"Did you just call him a squid?"

"Nah, a Squib. Someone born without magic."

"So let me get this straight. Headmaster Dumbledore hired someone without magic to clean a massive magic-filled castle?" Bart asked, head spinning in disbelief.

"Yeah. Must have taken pity on him because he was a Squib."

"Well, he is pretty pathetic", Bart replied, as they both shared a hearty laugh at Filch's expense.

"I think I'm going to enjoy working with you, Bart. You know, some of the stories I've heard about you from the teachers – you put the Weasley twins to shame!"

"I do my best", Bart humbly noted, eyelashes fluttering all the while.

Hagrid smiled at the young lad.

"Well, just so long as I'm not being pranked, whatever you do is all right with me. Now follow me into the forest. It's dangerous in there, so do what I say."

Good. I have him eating out of the palm of my hand. Now let's see what this forest has in store for me, Bart thought as he followed Hagrid into the forest. Soon enough, they encountered a silver-blue substance on the ground that the giant groundskeeper quickly identified as unicorn blood.

Wow, unicorns are a thing? Awesome! Bart thought, but he quickly found himself concerned after Hagrid informed him that something in the forest had been killing unicorns.

All of a sudden, as Bart and Hagrid walked past a mossy tree stump, Hagrid, hearing something resembling a cloak brushing nearby dead leaves, suddenly shouted words of warning and hoisted Bart behind a towering oak tree.

After Hagrid readied his crossbow and again shouted warning words, an indescribable creature came into view. It appeared to be a being with a human face, including red hair and a beard, but with a horse's posterior.

What the hell is that thing? Bart thought with equal parts excitement and awe.

"Ah Ronan, it's you", Hagrid said as he shook Ronan's hand and exchanged pleasantries, his voice clearly being tinged with relief. Hagrid then nodded at Bart. "Ronan, meet Bart Simpson. He's a student. Bart, meet Ronan. He's a centaur."

Ah, so that's what he is. "Nice to meet you, sir", Bart greeted, as he came out from behind the tree to shake the centaur's hand.

"Pleasure to meet you as well, young foal. I trust you have been learning about the planets and the stars in the castle in which we centaurs do not venture?" Ronan asked.

"I sure have, sir."

"Very good. I trust then, that you are aware that Mercury has been unusually bright lately?"

What's he blabbing on about? "Yes, sir", Bart unctuously replied.

"Very good."

"Now Ronan, have you seen an injured or dead unicorn anywhere?" Hagrid asked.

"I see many things, both in the stars and on the earth, of which I cannot perceive or understand."

"Ummm…how about that?"

"This forest is filled with secrets. That could well be one."

Hagrid appeared to be on the verge of tearing his beard out over the centaur's ambiguity. This feeling was not helped by a second, wilder-looking, black-haired and bodied centaur called Bane, nor a third centaur with white-blonde hair, sapphire blue eyes and a palomino body named Firenze, who when asked about the unicorn were similarly ambiguous.

Finally, Hagrid walked away, with Bart in tow.

"Well, that was pointless", Bart noted irritably. "Are they allergic to straight answers or something?"

"Yeah, they are. They're more interested in the stars than the earth."

"They seem to be so up themselves that I'm surprised that they can even see where they're going", Bart observed, as Hagrid chuckled.

"You got that right. Now, about that brushing sound we heard before. I'd bet you that wasn't a centaur. I've never heard that sound before, actually, so I'm sure that's what been killing the unicorns."

Sounds interesting, Bart thought as Hagrid suddenly led him in a completely different direction to before. Over time, the path became so obscured that Bart marvelled at Hagrid's ability to understand where he was going – no doubt the groundskeeper had traversed this path before. As the travelled, the unicorn blood increased in volume.

"The unicorn's nearby, isn't it?" Bart asked.

"Looks like it", Hagrid replied as a clearing, replete with a bright shimmering white light on the ground, came into view.

"It's a unicorn", Hagrid sombrely said, as Bart took in its beautiful, pearly-white mane and long, slender but askew legs.

"It's dead, isn't it?" Bart asked, feeling overwhelmed by sorrow.

"Yeah."

Bart bowed his head, as if providing one minute of silence, but then quickly jerked it back up as he heard a rustling from the bush. Suddenly, a hooded figure emerged from the shadows. Bart could only stare in morbid fascination as the figure started drinking the unicorn's blood.

Whoa, a real-life vampire!

However, Bart was mistaken. When the figure raised its head, it treated both Bart and Hagrid to a smile fit for the depths of hell, blood oozing out of its mouth all the while.

For the first time since Sideshow Bob last tried to kill him, Bart felt a mounting sense of fear; a feeling only amplified when the figure swiftly advanced on them both. Luckily, he still possessed enough control over himself to cast a non-verbal Fumos charm at the figure.

Just after he did so, Hagrid picked both Fang and Bart up, before bolting towards the hut as fast as his legs could carry him. All the while, spells were setting trees ablaze or alternately blasting them apart, creating an unholy inferno in Hagrid's wake as he ran for the trio's lives.

Unfortunately, it seemed that he couldn't quite run fast enough – the inferno was on the verge of swallowing the trio whole when all of a sudden it was blocked by what appeared to be an invisible wall. Nonetheless, the sheer heat that emitted from the flames could have rendered Bart unconscious from dehydration, such was the extent to which he sweated.

Luckily, he was able to stay conscious for long enough to see who had cast the spell – none other than Headmaster Dumbledore, with wand pointed at the forest. Bart saw no twinkling of the eyes; only a stony, determined expression. Finally, he turned the flames to water, which flooded the area and wet Bart's robes. Not that he cared one iota – he lapped up as much as he could and was only stopped by the sound of a sneering, aristocratic voice.

"Sending students into the Forbidden Forest with Hagrid? I can't say that's very safe practice, Dumbledore. I don't know whether they'd be in more danger from the forest or from Hagrid."

"Shut your mouth, Malfoy!" Hagrid furiously growled.

Malfoy? Bart thought in shock before slowly turning his head around. There stood a man with pale skin, a pointed face, long blond hair and grey eyes that brooked no warmth.

Drain-o's dad, Bart realised, surprise quickly being replaced by contempt.

"Now that's not very polite, Hagrid", mockingly chided Mr. Malfoy. "I do hope you don't speak to Hogwarts staff or students like that?"

"I can assure you that he doesn't", reassured the headmaster. "He's just had a very trying time of things."

"Yes, it must be very trying being half-giant or whatever he is. Anyway, Draco informed me that Hagrid was hiding a dragon in this very hut."

Too bad it's already gone, Bart thought with a smirk.

"Dragon? Why, are you sure that Draco wasn't seeing things? I know of no dragon on these premises. Do you, Hagrid?"

"No, sir", Hagrid replied with feigned earnest, causing Bart's smirk to grow ever wider.

"However, we can inspect his hut, if that will give you piece of mind", the headmaster soothingly offered.

Mr. Malfoy scowled but nonetheless gave the wizened mage a curt nod before they both entered the hut.

"Malfoy's a few days too late", gloated Hagrid to himself.

I know.

After a few minutes, the two men came out. The headmaster appeared as untroubled as ever, while Mr. Malfoy's ashen-faced appearance brought Bart to the verge of laughter.

"You sent the dragon away, didn't you?" Mr. Malfoy spat.

"I'm respectfully unsure what you mean, Lucius", Headmaster Dumbledore replied.

Lucius Malfoy seethed in impotent rage but eventually calmed down.

"Very well, Dumbledore. But if I see a student's life being endangered like this again, I will take action in my capacity as the chairman of Hogwarts' Board of Governors", Lucius threatened before angrily striding off, cloak billowing behind him.

Good god, what a jackass, Bart thought as the headmaster helped him up.

"I trust that you're all right, young Bart?" the elderly mage asked.

"Abbb-so-lutely. Hagrid knows that forest like the back of his hand", Bart replied, causing Hagrid to beam in gratitude.

Bart smiled at Hagrid's reaction. You never know when having a massive giant for a friend will come in handy.

"I would expect as much. Hagrid has been groundskeeper here for many decades. Now, let me walk you up to the castle. Hagrid, thank you for taking care of Bart."

"Anytime, Professor Dumbledore. See you later, Bart."

"See you, Hagrid", Bart wearily responded as the headmaster made the trek back up with him to the castle.

"Now Bart, was there anything you would like to discuss?" the headmaster asked.

"Actually Headmaster Dumbledore, there is. Hagrid and I saw something drinking a unicorn's blood in the forest."

For the first time that night, the headmaster looked faintly disturbed.

"Murdering a creature as gentle and pure as a unicorn and then drinking its blood is unspeakably unconscionable, Bart. If the unicorn's blood so much as touches your lips, you will be saved from death, but you will also be doomed to live nothing more than the merest shadow of a full life. Only a profound fear of death, or the expectation that you could regain full power and strength afterwards, could possess one to drink a unicorn's blood."

Bart then had an epiphany as the words 'full power' echoed through his head. The Elixir of Life. That thing back there obviously wants the Stone so it can make it. "I see."

They walked back to the entrance to Bart's common room in silence, at which point Bart trooped down to the dormitory and cast the usual spells before dropping onto his bed in exhaustion. His final thoughts before he did so were, I have to tell Harry.

Late next evening he did exactly that, transfiguring a message sitting on his dormitory's toilet.

"Harry, you'll never guess what happened last night."

"What?"

"Well, firstly, I saw Drain-o's father search Hagrid's hut for the dragon – he couldn't find it!"

He could just picture Harry laughing it up on the other end. "What do you think he's going to do to his son when he next sees him?"

"Hopefully he gives him a good old-fashioned spanking for lying to Daddy."

"Yeah, he deserves it. Speaking of which, I think that Percy still wants to spank you for what you did to him. The rest of the Gryffindors have been laughing at him over it and he still looks really pissed off."

"Doesn't he always look like that?"

"I mean, more than normal. Anyway, did anything else happen?"

"We ran into these centaurs. One kept going on about how Mercury was unusually bright."

"Maybe he's giving us a tip for our Astronomy exam."

"Even if it wasn't a tip, I'm so writing it in the exam. Anyway, I also followed Hagrid into the Forbidden Forest as part of my detention and saw something out of a vampire movie."

"Which was?"

"This hooded figure, drinking a unicorn's blood."

"Wow. That's really disgusting."

"Yeah. Dumbledore later told me that the figure was desperate not to die, but that they expected to regain all their strength soon.

I think that this figure is after the Stone, because it produces the Elixir of Life and drinking it will make you immortal. Do you know who could be after it?"

Harry's answer almost made Bart's eyebrows shoot up into the ceiling.

"Voldemort."

"…do you want to repeat that?"

"Voldemort. Hagrid told me when he first met me that Voldemort wasn't quite dead – and I don't think that Voldemort's happy with simply not being dead."

Bart was utterly gobsmacked at this. "Do…you believe Hagrid?"

"Yeah, I do. It all makes sense. Snape or Quirrell want the Stone for Voldemort, and Voldemort's waiting in the forest."

"You'd think that being filthy rich was more important." Of course, I want to be filthy rich and immortal.

"Not if Voldemort can still kill them if they don't give him what he wants."

"So, the idea is basically that Snape or Quirrell give Mouldy Cheese the Stone, he gets his strength back and then gets revenge on you?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"We have to get that stone as soon as possible, then." Otherwise Snape or Quirrell will get it before me.

"Yeah. We'll tip off the teachers first."

No way; they won't let me keep the Stone for myself. "No! It might be too late by the time we convince them. Snape or Quirrell might be going for the Stone right now!"

After a pause, Harry wrote back. "You're right. I'd rather die than let either one of them take it. I'll grab the invisibility cloak and hide Hermione and me underneath. Meet me by the door leading to that third-floor corridor with Fluffy. You can cloak yourself, can't you?"

"Sure can."

"Good. I'll see you there."

Bart smiled contentedly. Don't you love it when a plan comes together? He then cloaked and silenced himself before leaving the bathroom, opening his trunk and taking out his wakizashi. After lovingly inspecting the sheathed sword, he pressed it blade-down against the right side of his robes and, as instructed by Buddhist Combat Magic, successfully applied a Sticking Charm.

Bitchin'. Now to get me that Stone!

With that, he hurtled through the Common Room and towards the third-floor.

Meanwhile, Harry and Hermione were just about to envelop themselves under Harry's invisibility cloak, only to have an unexpected voice call out to them.

"Harry! Hermione! Where are you two going?"

Harry spun around with a gasp. As he did so, he saw a certain tall, gangly, freckled boy with a long nose emerge from the shadows. Of all the things that Harry expected to confront tonight, Ron was not one of them.

"R-Ron? Why are you even talking to us?" Harry asked, ardently trying to hide his shock.

"Well, I've really missed hanging out with you guys, so I've wanted to talk things over with you guys for a little while. I thought that now that we're all alone, this is the right time. Anyway, do you mind telling me where you're going?"

Harry agonised over whether or not to tell Ron the truth. On the one hand, they had not spoken since they fell out over Bart. On the other hand, Ron had been one of his best friends up until that point. Besides, the more people he could bring along to help thwart Voldemort, the better.

"Do you remember Nicolas Flamel? Well, he created something called the Philospher's Stone. We're going to retrieve it so that Voldemort can't get to it. We think that either Snape or Quirrell could steal it for him at any moment."

"Will Simpson be involved?"

Harry sighed. "Yes, he will be."

Ron frowned deeply. On the one hand, he thought that Bart's prank on Percy was actually pretty funny. However, he just couldn't trust Slytherins, and Bart was no exception. But if Bart did betray Harry, what sort of person would Ron be to allow it to happen, when he could have perhaps stopped it? At any rate, Ron was tired of living in the shadow of his more illustrious brothers. The opportunity to foil Voldemort was his chance to make a name for himself, rather than being known as just another Weasley.

Harry saw Ron hesitate and so tried to coax him into coming along. "Look Ron, I'm not asking you to be friends with Bart, or even like him. I'm only asking you to work together just this once, so we can stop someone evil from throwing the entire world into darkness. If you come along, you'll be every bit as valuable to me as he is. I promise."

Ron gave him a watery smile upon hearing that. His voice became husky and Harry could tell that he was feeling quite emotional. "Do you really mean that, Harry?"

Harry smiled softly. "I do, Ron."

"Then let's go, mate!" Ron exclaimed, lunging towards Harry and locking him in a tight embrace, which Harry returned with a big smile. Hermione, meanwhile, was on the verge of tears at the sight, but her expression quickly hardened when Ron turned to her.

"Hermione…I'm sorry for all the mean things I said about you", Ron admitted, giving her the heartfelt apology she had been waiting for what felt like an eternity to hear. Once he did so, her normally stoic façade cracked like an egg.

"Oh, Ron!" she exclaimed, pulling him into a tight hug, which he returned.

"Now let's go", Harry commanded, as he placed his invisibility cloak over the three of them. Suddenly, he felt like that he could take on the world and still come out on top.

While Harry, Hermione and Ron were busy reconciling, Bart was still dashing towards that door on the third-floor. On the way, he dodged a cackling Peeves and weaved his way around more than one oblivious prefect. However, hopes of a smooth journey were promptly dashed when a certain voice called out after he passed one of countless corridors…

"Who's there? Stop!" the voice commanded.

Oh crap. Don't tell me it's…

Unfortunately, it most certainly was whom Bart most feared running into. Before he could dash up the stairs, he heard footsteps behind him before feeling something swoop just over his head.

"Bart?" Gemma questioned.

Busted!

Nonetheless, he never stopped running. He couldn't stop now; what if Snape or Quirrell grabbed the Stone as a result of his slowing down? He couldn't let that happen; the Stone was either going to belong to him, or nobody!

Unfortunately, as he went up the stairs, Gemma shouted a warning.

"Bart, get down here, otherwise I'm going to have to force you to come down!"

Naturally, Bart ignored her, calculating that she'd give him a few seconds before opening fire. He was correct; seconds after her order, he saw a flash of red coming towards his side and deflected the stunner with an impeccably performed Protego. However, he saw movement out of the corner of his eye and could tell that the taller, athletic Gemma was gaining ground.

"Bart, stop this! You can't get away from me! Why are you even out of bed, anyway? If it's really important, maybe I can help you sort it out!"

You can't help me with this, Gemma, Bart thought grimly, knowing that she would most likely stop him from taking the Stone for himself.

Just as he thought that, he felt a whooshing sound come up from behind him, compelling him to contort his body as a white spell slammed into the wall. Seeing Gemma advance up the stairs with grim determination, he cast a non-verbal Fumos before running in earnest.

I hope that stops her.

In fairness to the young mage, he did buy himself precious seconds. In fact, by the time he got to the designated door, he thought that he had shaken her off, as he finally collapsed onto his hands and knees, panting profusely.

Well, I should be safe no-OW!

Before he knew it, he was roughly grabbed by his lapels as he found himself face-to-face with an angry Gemma. Unfortunately, he was still too tired to really fight back.

"Bart! What do you think you are doing by hanging around this door? What do you think you are doing out of bed? I'm going to…"

However, she couldn't finish her sentence as she was hit from behind with a tell-tale white spell. Her body instantly seized up as she fell on her face, rigid as a board.

"Harry!" Bart exclaimed.

"Actually, that spell was from me", Hermione explained as she pulled off the invisibility cloak to reveal herself, Harry and…

"Ron?" Bart asked.

"You have a problem with me being here, Simpson?" Ron snarled, to which Harry gave him a warning look.

Better not start anything with him right now. "No, not really", Bart replied. "But I would like a goddamn drink."

Hermione rolled her eyes and pulled out a water bottle from her robes before throwing it to Bart.

"Drink some of that."

"How did…"

"My parents, obviously. Now drink."

Bart complied before throwing the bottle back to her. "Ah, that hit the spot. Now let's go and stop Voldemort."

"What about her?" Harry asked, pointing to a paralysed Gemma.

Bart responded by flicking a knut up into the air and transfiguring it into a pair of handcuffs before cuffing Gemma's hands.

I'm sorry, Gemma; I hope you'll forgive me afterwards. "Does that answer your question?" Bart smugly asked.

"Yes, it does."

Bart smiled as he wordlessly unlocked the door and slowly pushed it open. Lo and behold, the three-headed dog was still there, looking every bit as eager to rip any intruders into tiny, grisly morsels as it did when they first encountered it.

"Um, Bart…do you know how to get past it?" Harry asked, as the Gryffindor trio were clearly battling with memories of their last chastening encounter with the beast.

"Sure do. Lisa, I mean, Hermione, we both need to hit it with a spell at the same time. When I fire a stunner, you'll cast a Petrificus Totalus. If that doesn't bring it down, I'll just blast it with more stunners until it falls."

"What if that doesn't work, Simpson?" Ron hissed.

"Oh don't worry – it will", Bart replied in his usual cocksure manner. "You ready, Lis-I mean, Hermione?"

The buck-toothed girl glared at him.

"Why do you call me Lisa? We've already discussed this; why do you keep doing it? Who is Lisa, anyway?"

"My annoying little sister."

Bart's trolling hardened Hermione's glare as she uttered, "Why you -"

"Can you guys just cast these spells? Like, today if possible?" Ron cut in.

Bart and Hermione rolled their eyes but nonetheless nodded.

"Right then. 3, 2, 1 – now!" Bart ordered, as Hermione and Bart's spells slammed into the Cerberus with frightening force, blasting the brute a couple of metres before sending it into a paralysed, unconscious state.

Harry and Ron broke into spontaneous applause and cheering. Even Hermione's mood improved, as she gave a slight smile.

"Simpson, that was wicked! How did you know that would work?" Ron asked.

That's the first nice thing he's said to me for a hell of a long time, Bart sourly noted before replying,"Eh, I just guessed. Now, who wants to go down in the hole first?"

Complete silence reigned.

"Ah, what the hell. I'll go", Bart said with typical insouciance as he grasped the rusty metal handle and opened the wooden trapdoor, feeling the merest hint of nerves as he surveyed the apparently bottomless depth of the previously obscured hole.

Well, I've fallen down a cliff before and survived; hopefully this'll be the same.

"GERONIMO!" he yelled as he jumped.

Author's Notes for Chapter Fourteen

I decided not to write in Hagrid's accent, because IMO it just makes it harder to understand what he's saying.

Bart falls down a cliff in 'Brother from Another Series'.