Chapter 1.0 : Silenced Anger

"Ratchet, did you get everything?"

There he went again.

I bare my teeth, rubbing a hand across my bloodshot eyes. "Clank, are you trying to see how many times you can ask that before I lose my mind?"

"I ask repeatedly because I know you, Ratchet. You always forget something when we pack to go somewhere."

"I already checked the OTHER fifty seven times you've asked me to," I say. Not an exaggeration. "Most of what we need was in that event package they mailed us, remember? Kinda hard to miss most of what we need when it's all together!"

Clank stares at me impassively as he dries his hands on a towel. I was this close to chucking him back in the kitchen and telling him to bump off, but he'd probably come out the next time with a frying pan for my head.

I shut my eyes, reopening them to stare at the ceiling for a second before yanking our suitcase closer. It was my size, thicker than Amoeboid snot, and had so many zippers and pockets they each had their own area code.

"Alright, fine. How about I show you, you ready?" I unzip the largest flap, hurtle it aside, and pull out a pair of my boxers.

"Lovely. Is there a reason why you packed so much underwear?"

A growl rumbles deep from my chest as I search for the right compartment. I was tired, delirious, and his incessant pestering was really grating on my nerves. I think a part of it was him trying to see if I'd snuck in anything I wasn't supposed to.

I finally find the compartment I'm looking for, pulling out each item as I list it off. "Here! Dome passes, hotel passes, guest passes, ID cards, death waivers, the safety and liability handbook, touring brochures, etc cetera, oh and yes, even all our competitive gear and clothing, Clank! Imagine that!"

Although, we hadn't received our uniforms the normal way. Unsurprisingly Qwark was the reason for that, visiting several days ago to deliver them.

"Go ahead and thank me!" he'd said. "Normally you'd be presented with these upon entering the Dome, but you're the first team to get your uniforms since I was able to give them all the measurements and details they needed. Aren't I the greatest?"

For the rest of that day, I'd debated on finally getting a restraining order against him.

"You stayed up very late last night," Clank notes. "What were you doing?"

"Hoping and praying I won't have to kill somebody."

"What?"

"Huh?"

Talwyn walks into the room and sets her bag on the couch. I watch her for several moments. Her body language is withdrawn, stiff, and had been so since the night of the banquet.

Even before Qwark had come to invite us to the Big DEE events, Talwyn had been planning on coming to live with us for a while. Clank and I had barely been in Metropolis for a week before Qwark visited.

Before we had come back to Solana, Clank and I had spent months in Polaris with her after Cronk and Zephyr were killed. The three of us had stuck close together and with the all the...complications that came from the Nether invasion, it was a time as ever where we absolutely needed to keep each other grounded.

I think Talwyn wanted to leave the Apogee Space Station for a while, and it makes sense. It was where she grew up with them. It could also be her moving on, in a manner of speaking. At least she was getting out; for the longest she would hardly leave her room.

It wasn't as if the Polaris Defense Force did due diligence either.

Transporting Vendra to Vartax had been the last mission in our active serving term. Considering a full term at the Polaris Defense Force is four months, it's no wonder it heavily consisted of incompetent washouts. But that's an entirely different topic.

I'd say we had all joined as more of a formality, since we'd had enough experience doing the Defense Force's work for them in the past. Now, and I'm sure Clank and Talwyn agree with me, that was a colossal mistake.

Transporting a high profile criminal to a detention facility? Just fine. Doing it with a minimum of four officers? Manageable.

But add in that said criminal's sibling was at large and was also suspected to have the assistance of a mercenary group, you get what had happened to us - the worst case scenario.

The Defense Force had developed the suspicions that Neftin had been associating with the Thugs. Even if they hadn't had concrete evidence, that still would have been probable enough to, I don't know...maybe station more officers on the Nebulox, maybe even assign a smaller fleet of patrol vehicles to watch our tail?

I couldn't describe the fury when I found out they'd known that and still only assigned four of us to that mission. At least, at least they could have done something more, maybe even told us there was the slimmest possibility Neftin would attack - that could have been the only change, and it could have made a difference.

But no. They hadn't. Thinking of their irresponsibility and what it led to still makes rage swell in my gut.

Talwyn and Clank made it a little better, though. She'd torched our honorable discharge papers, then he had baked the ashes into a pie. Best damn pie I ever had.

Crud, but now I was choking up. Thinking about it is like prodding that one patched up hole in my heart again. It stings far less than it had several months ago, and the ache was still there. I still had frustrations of being unable to do anything to save Cronk and Zephyr. I knew such feelings were illogical. So many things had been out of our control.

What I learned from the Nether incident was that making the proper preparations could lessen the chances of something unfavorable happening. And if one thing goes wrong, there's no telling what domino effect it could have. That's how some tragedies are born.

And now, current circumstances have also sharpened my inner focus. My friends were also my family, and now it's even more of a principal that I had to do all I could do to protect them.

I mean, it's not like I wanted to murder someone for threatening anyone I loved. That'd be the last thing I'd ask for.

There's yet to be a day where I don't think of Cronk and Zephyr. But in the wake of the coming events, their memories are what especially makes me double down on making sure nothing happened under my watch. I didn't give a damn if I was considered out of place for questioning the actions of authority and enforcing priorities.

Wasn't going to lose anyone else. Wasn't going to let my guard down for a second.

I watch to make sure Talwyn was still occupied, then shift my head the other way to survey the kitchen door for Clank, who had gone back to cleaning. I hold my breath and pull the product of last night's efforts out of my pocket, then slip it into one of the side pockets.

"Ratchet, what are you doing?" Talwyn asks, without even turning around. I try to cover my tracks but Clank instantly appears at the kitchen door, crossing his arms.

"Ratchet, now, enough. It has been stated in the guidelines there will be no weapons held by competitors or civilians on the premises, concealed or not! Nothing that could maim, dismember, stun, scorch, or cause death, you know the rest. I would not even risk trying to bring any of your gadgets in, or your Omniwrench! You have heard me say it enough, so I know you did not forget! Do you want us to get kicked out?"

I snort, rearing to my feet. "What sort of question is that? You know, every time I think about the banquet, it just gets my fingers twitching."

"Yes, the banquet. When I think of it, I remember you drawing a banana instead of a blaster."

Talwyn breaks down and hunches over her bag, letting out a wail of laughter. I give Clank an exasperated look. I'd managed to keep that little detail away from her, until now at least.

"They intend to have weapon screenings there, according to the safety measure section on page five of the safety and liability handbook," says Clank. "This is made clear to everyone who has read it."

"Only you, then?"

Clank shuts his eyes a little longer than normal before reopening them. "I understand your frustration, but we must follow their rules, Ratchet. Their security measures will be—"

"Security! Yeah, I think we got a glimpse of that, eh?" I say loudly, then let out a brusque laugh. "Now, if only it hadn't been one of Kodiak's security guards that went off the deep end and murdered two of her co-workers in the process..."

"Put whatever that is away, Ratchet," Clank orders. Then, likely noticing it's my handiwork, he asks, "What does it do, anyway?"

"What does it matter?" I ask, carelessly tossing the weapon onto the couch. "Can't use it anyway."

Then I give him a smile. That smile, the one that makes it clear I've done something discreet that he doesn't yet know of. Clank knows what's up immediately. He adopts a look of quiet terror, but it swiftly turns to one of aggravation.

I try to move towards the bedroom but he cuts me off, looking directly into my eyes. I'm not sure which one of us holds the fiercest stare.

"...what have you done?" Clank asks solemnly.

"Nothing," I say. "Well, to you it's nothing since you have no proof I've done something."

He scowls. "If you have snuck something else by us..."

"What would you do, spank me?"

"Ratchet, be serious!"

"Chill out, pal. I'm just kidding with you," I say, patting his head. "It's just a coping mechanism to keep myself awake. Nothing perks me up faster than having you all agitated with me."

He eyes me suspiciously.

"I'm going to go unwind a bit before we leave," I say. "You...do whatever you do, pal."

I'm sure he'd search every section of our suitcase, and Aphelion's interior for the hundredth time. He wouldn't find anything though. There were just some things that I knew and he didn't. I did do most of the building and taking apart, so I could get a little crafty with my peripherals. I'm snickering just thinking about it.

I take several steps in the bedroom and the door shuts and locks behind me. Oh, I hadn't even noticed Talwyn had followed me back here, and from her expression I expect her to start hounding me like Clank had. They like to take turns on me like that.

I grin at her and open my mouth to tease, but she preemptively shuts me up by kissing me full on the lips. Well, wasn't expecting this but I wasn't complaining!

Though, I can feel a lot of Talwyn's tension and she seems a little agitated. She's the first to pull back, leaving a thin trail of saliva connecting our tongues.

I lick my lips. "Feeling good today, are we?"

Talwyn grabs my shoulders, squeezing them tightly. There's a potent, reignited spark of light in her eyes, one that'd been absent for months prior. It suddenly feels like I'm looking into the eyes of someone who's finally recovered from the shockwaves of a terrible nightmare.

"Get on the bed," Talwyn commands.

"Okay, Ms. Apogee. Not gonna tie me up in a chair this time?"

She shoves me and I land on my back atop the bed. Moments later she's hovering over me, on her knees and pinning my shoulders down.

Lately, banging hasn't been on our minds since it requires a certain flair, some sort of jumpstart to get in the mood, if I may. Talwyn seems to have gotten her engines raring up and that was enough for me, but something about this scenario seems different.

For the longest we just stare at each other. Talwyn's stoic expression is locked, unmoving, save for her eyes as they search about my face.

"Talwyn?" I ask quietly.

She doesn't move or respond at least for another thirty seconds. Slowly she lowers herself, exhaling almost inaudibly. Her hands relax off my shoulders. I shift a bit to account for her laying most of her weight on my chest, resting a hand between her shoulder blades.

"I just wanted to look at you," she says. When I don't answer she frowns a bit, looking me in the eye. "You know...with us about to be separated again."

"I know, Tal."

The both of us had different ways of expressing our anxiousness; she'd been a bit quiet and solemn faced ever since the banquet, and the bags underneath my eyes spoke enough.

After a moment I ask, "Was there anything you wanted to talk about? Now would be the time."

"Don't say it like it's my only chance."

"I wouldn't want us to leave and you still holding your feelings in."

Talwyn is quiet for a moment. She has a bit of difficulty admitting when things bothered her. Then again, so did I.

"I've been thinking..." she says after a moment. "And it's the most obvious thing in the universe, but do you really think someone despises Vox enough to try to sabotage him?"

This was the first time she'd spoken on that general topic. I let my gaze wander to the ceiling. I didn't want to make her any more stressed, but there was no use in denying the unpredictability of the unknown.

"I definitely think so," I say. "Good enough chance."

"That's what you've been doing. Preparing yourself for the worst."

"Yeah. For sure."

"Not that you should be," Talwyn says darkly. "But, when you have someone like Vox in charge of the operation, I guess it's only a given."

"I mean, I'll admit I probably won't be comfortable around him until I fully get used to him, but he doesn't seem bad."

I can't put my paranoia about him to rest just yet. That's why I'll keep my eyes on him. Hopefully there'll be a point in time where I won't have to. I...honestly think there will be a time, hopefully sooner than later.

"There is...something in him that keeps his drive going," I continues. "Courage like that, despite all the resistance he's had and will have, is pretty commendable. Then again...Qwark said that this all was a dream of his."

"I'm not talking about his fantasies coming to life, I only care about what he's going to do to protect you and Clank and the others!" says Talwyn. "That's what I would love, Ratchet, to have the reassurance you guys will be safe when you enter the Dome. Not only to I not have that yet, you just basically admitted you don't fully trust him!"

"Mm..."

"Do you?"

"No. But that's just from a negative predisposition. Which, as Clank already told me, isn't fair."

"It isn't," Talwyn says coolly. "But even that doesn't matter. My question is, can you trust his aptitude to cover all his bases and make the Dome safe for his competitors?"

"Ah..." I scratch at my ear. "He said he would. I dunno, I want to to believe he'd follow through. It'd make sense from his perspective."

"It makes sense from your perspective. You're not sackless."

Part of me wants to wince, the other part wants to laugh. "Well geez, Talwyn, I..."

She leans up, then seizes me by the front of my shirt and pulls me up so we're face to face.

"I will not," Talwyn hisses, looming closer, "lose you or Clank because Vox isn't being fully responsible and making sure his location and his staff are secure and sound. Just so you know, I'm not only attending to watch you both, I'm also going to make sure that if something happens, I'll be there to do what I can."

My mouth gapes open for a moment, surely in my best Drophyd impression. "Wh-what? Talwyn, come on, don't—"

"Don't what, Ratchet?" Talwyn's jaw tightens as presses her nose to mine. "So it's alright if YOU'RE the only one ready to take drastic measures, maybe even break a few laws if things go south?"

"Well, I…I-I wouldn't want the both of us to catch hell!"

"Ooh, that's too bad, now isn't it?"

She lets go and I fall to my back ungracefully. Talwyn gets off the bed bristling like a rabid Y.E.T.I., and I sit up, staring at her incredulously.

"What exactly would…I mean, why—"

"Why? WHY?! Because if I NEED to act, I will!" Talwyn exclaims, jabbing a finger to the ground, strands of her hair flinging out of place. "That's why! I was unable to do anything for Cronk and Zephyr, and I am NOT standing by idly if there is a chance you or Clank could be in danger! I've already made up my mind!"

She turns and her tail smacks me across the face, whether by purpose or accident I can't tell. The hit gives me the sudden realization that I should have probably seen this coming. I was too busy thinking about what I could do for her and Clank and whoever else. It was only reasonable she felt likewise.

Talwyn paces for a minute in a circle, her eyes wide and wild. I've never seen her this worked up and sensed it'd be best to let her calm down before moving or even breathing. I become vaguely aware that there's a sudden lack of noise from the kitchen.

Talwyn finally stops at the dresser and leans on it, clenching her hands into the wood. I quietly draw close. "Talwyn…"

"Don't argue with me about this, Ratchet."

"I won't," I say. "...I still don't agree with it."

"Oh of course you wouldn't," Talwyn lets out a rough laugh, dripping with venom. I wait for her to elaborate, since there's a lot of bitterness that'd come with the statement. "Of COURSE you wouldn't, hero. After all, you do the saving most of the time! And meanwhile, I just sort of meander off to the side, maybe end up being in distress, right? And I won't let it happen again! My times of being helpless are GONE!"

"...oh, Talwyn," I rub at my face, taking several long moments to speak again. "I'd never make you feel like this intentionally, it's just, ahhh..." I pause steadily before continuing. "I think instinctively, I was trying to cut back on the amount of people willing to do dangerous things for my sake. I'm positive Clank feels the same way."

I shake my head. "I'd never think that you were anything less than capable to roll with the punches. And, Talwyn, I...get your frustrations at feeling helpless in the worst of times. Just remember, heh, I've had moments of weakness, too."

Talwyn lays her head down in her arms, growing languid.

"I know it's impossible to think of this without revisiting Cronk and Zephyr's deaths," I say. "There's enough parallels. At least this time we've got keener eyes to look for trouble."

"Wouldn't it be nice if everything went right?" Talwyn whispers.

"If it did...I guess we'd be wound up now for nothing," I say with a short laugh, leaning on the wall. "...at the least, we could adopt more of a neutral stance, huh? Not go in all...frazzled and paranoid. No need to worry about countless other factors and occurrences we can't see or detect in the future. That'd...drive us crazy..."

I let out a sigh, feeling my ears sink. I swear, sometimes those things acted on their own.

I do suddenly feel exhausted from the pressure of pondering the possibilities, the changes that the future could or couldn't bring. There were people we had to trust in and have faith they'd do the right things, the good things. Then there were the snakes that lay coiled, hidden in blackness and waiting for their chance to make it all come down.

Several minutes pass in silence. I was mainly waiting for Talwyn to calm down, maybe even speak more of her mind. Anything she needed to do to vent would be good for her. I still feel like an ass for not having a discussion like this with her earlier, but then again she doesn't like talk about her deeper conflicts until they're close to boiling over. Like now.

There was nothing wrong with admitting weakness or talking about one's problems, espcially with significant others. But it's still a struggle for the both of us. I surely wouldn't want that to cause any sort of rift between us. This was a issue that we both needed to tackle, and soon.

"What did you do?"

I look from the ground to her. "Huh?"

"You were teasing Clank earlier. You did something."

"Oh. Well..."

I suck air in through my teeth. Talwyn raises her head, squinting at me with slightly reddened eyes.

"It's just a little something-something, Tal. I was mainly trying to get him worked up."

"He'll find whatever you snuck by him. There's only so many areas you could hide a weapon or gadget."

"I wouldn't necessarily say that..."

Talwyn rubs her hands across her face, which isn't as red as it was minutes before. To my surprise she breaks out into a sudden grin, letting out a mirthful laugh. "You know, I almost hope you guys get caught and punted out before you enter the Dome. That'd save a load of stress."

"Ah, but I couldn't let that happen. Other people are there, Tal."

"Ugggh...can you take a break from doing heroic things for once?"

"I'm taking one now, you don't see me catching a child falling out of a burning building do you?"

She gives me a strange look, probably wondering why that was so specific, then sort of shakes her head when she realizes I'm teasing. "Is being careful too hard of a task for you? Because I'd love it if you didn't do anything drastic while you're there."

"It's not my specialty," I say. "But I'll try my best. And I mean hey, Clank will have my back, too."

Talwyn lets out another squawk of laughter. "Oh yeah, perfect! So he can join in on whatever nonsense comes your way and be endangered too. I love it."

"Yep!" I say, and she gives me a hostile look. "I mean come on Talwyn, that's more preferable than going in by myself, right? It's what we do, it's a given!"

Talwyn smiles, but it's hiding a sea of tension. "And what about me, huh? I can help where it's needed, too. You both can contend with that, right?"

"Well..."

Talwyn looms closer with that same. Smile. With her hair all wild and her eyes bursting with monumental stress, she looks really crazy right now. "Right?!"

My throat's a little dry. "...I've got no objections."

"Oh, I can tell you don't mean that. And maybe I won't have to do a single thing," Talwyn breathes. "But I won't put my faith in Vox unless I've got a damn good reason to. Just like you won't trust him until you can overcome your own doubt. Same intent, just built from differing perspectives. That's all this is."

"Yeah, but Talwyn, I don't want you like this the whole time," I say cautiously. "You look like you're close to snapping...my neck, really."

I only added that last part in because her hands were inching up past my shoulders. She says nothing, only staring into my eyes wanly.

"Can you try to relax for me?" I ask, standing on my tiptoes to nuzzle at her cheek. She likes it when I do that.

Talwyn giggles after a moment, rubbing the back of my head. Moments later, I feel her hand lightly drift along my stomach.

"OH!" I yelp, darting back. "Whoa, now..." My mouth twitches; I have to hold back a laugh from that brief touch.

"Still sensitive there, are we?" asks Talwyn, grinning.

"Not cool, Tal," I say, feeling my face flush.

"I can't touch you wherever and whenever I want?"

"Oh, I'm definitely not saying that, but...we could at least get more in the mood first."

"I'm sorry," says Talwyn, coming closer. "It's been a while. I've forgotten some things about our routine, I'm sure you have as well."

Her eyes grow heavy. She squeezes my shoulders, massaging her hands down my arms. It's amazing how I was tired not too long ago and was supposed to be lying down, but now anticipation is making me feel like someone stuck me with a shot of adrenaline.

Oof. Huh. Well!

Looks like I have a chance to get rid of all my pent up emotional energy.

"...well, that was remarkably fast," Talwyn says, moving her eyes up and stroking underneath my chin. "Now, I don't have rope, and there's no chairs in here that're strong enough. Nor do I think there's enough cake in the kitchen. I guess we can save that idea for another time..."

But not even a second after our lips meet, knocking comes at the door. Talwyn and I jerk away from each other. She grunts.

"Or...we could change plans again, because it looks like it's time for us to go," Talwyn says lowly, looking at the door. "I wonder if Clank would object to several more minutes. You're a bit too happy right now."

When Talwyn looks back at me she howls, almost bursting a lung from my expression.

"Ratchet, Talwyn," Clank calls from outside. "I am sorry if I am interrupting your naps, but we must leave. I want to make sure we get there in time!"

"One...one second!" Talwyn cries, covering her mouth with a hand, almost stumbling over to the door. I drift to the side like a napkin in the wind, well away from Clank's view in the doorframe. Talwyn unlocks then cracks the door, poking her head out.

"Talwyn, you only have one bag?"

"Yes. Oh, um...I also have my hoverbike in-in my ship, I'll have to take it out and put it in the garage before we leave."

"Okay. What is so funny, if I may ask?"

"I...I just hit my elbow on the wall, and it tingles and it's stiff and I can't stop laughing for some reason," Talwyn giggles. "Just give...me a second, maybe a minute or five and I'll be out."

"Okay," says Clank, and he sounds adorably confused. "Ratchet..."

"He needs to help me!" Talwyn blurts. "In the bathroom."

She motions with her tail just in case I missed the cue, which I almost had. The blood wasn't exactly rushing to the head on my shoulders at the moment.

"Oh, of course," says Clank. "I will begin locking up, I suppose."

"We'll be out in several minutes! Won't take long!"

About five minutes later, Clank does a double take as I walk out of the bedroom. "I do not like that smile, Ratchet."

"Still think something's up, do you? Well, I won't say you're wrong," I say, then sneer and roll my eyes, motioning to our suitcase. "Now, moving on to your most ingenious idea yet—you got a crane for this thing?"

"It has wheels and a handle, Ratchet."

"And I'll help you lift it into Aphelion," says Talwyn, walking up. "You're not exactly at full strength anymore, are you?"